April 12th, 2012

“Campaign Coordinator” Tom Watson Drops Another Clanger

Tom Watson’s re-branding from boot-boy Blair-stabber to Murdoch-slayer has come under fire ever since the Labour Deputy Chairman in charge of campaigning saw George Galloway steal a safe Labour seat on his watch. Along with his fingerprints being all over stitch ups, his dubious halo is starting to slip. Many have wondered where the fearless seeker of truth has been throughout this turbulent few weeks. Well Guido found him:

MURDOCH’S NEMESIS TARGETS SOUTH CAMBS MP -
IN HIS OWN CONSTITUENCY

THE man who led the campaign against Rupert Murdoch’s media empire is to turn his sights on South Cambridgeshire MP Andrew Lansley – in the Health Secretary’s own constituency.

Labour’s Deputy Chair and Campaign Co-ordinator Tom Watson MP felt so appalled by proposed reforms to the NHS he decided he “couldn’t stomach any more”.

So in an email to Party members he said he would personally campaign in Mr Lansley’s constituency to “remind them what would happen” if Lansley’s plans go through.

He will visit the constituency on Wednesday, April 11 to knock on doors and talk to voters ahead of the Local Elections on May 3.

“For Andy Burnham’s Drop the Bill campaign to succeed, we have to talk to people in our communities to get the message across,” he said.

The Drop the Bill campaign cannot succeed – it failed when the Bill recieved Royal Assent on March 27.

The “Notes to Editors” made Guido chuckle too:

“Tom Watson is MP for West Bromwich East and Labour’s Deputy Chair and Campaign Co-Ordinator in the Shadow Cabinet. He was a Minister in the previous Labour Government and shot to fame as a member of the Culture, Media and Sport Select Committee, where his campaigns against phone-hacking at the News of the World won him much praise.”

Perhaps the rotund bruiser should spend a little more time concentrating on his campaigning rather than self-aggrandisement.


265 Comments

  1. 1
    Need to know says:

    Is Tom the new Labour Jonah along with Ken and Ed?

    Like

    • 6
      On Tablets says:

      wha happin at labor HQ – a big problam methinks

      Like

      • 14
        nellnewman says:

        Personally I think labour HQ are more amusing than the keystone cops.

        Like

        • 27
          Pratfall says:

          The keystone cops have more gravitas and dignity

          Like

          • nellnewman says:

            Indeed they did. I have to admit twatson and his thugs make me want to cry at their ineptitude and incontinence rather than want to laugh.

            Like

          • Yates.."Of the Yard" says:

            Thanks..

            Like

          • Hang The Bastards says:

            I expected to see “FAT USELESS SELF SERVING WANKER”, that would have been a more suitable description.

            Like

          • Gooey Blob says:

            You only have to remember how inept Labour were while Brown was PM. While it would have been difficult for them to get much worse, they still haven’t actually improved since then.

            Labour are completely unelectable at present.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            Boris Johnson, the Conservative mayor, has pulled an “offensive” Christian campaign advertising “gay conversion” which was due to appear on London’s buses next week.

            http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/apr/12/anti-gay-adverts-boris-johnson

            Like

          • Sack Cameron - Elect A Tory says:

            “The keystone cops have more gravitas”

            Gravitas? Possibly. Gravity? No – Watson is an incredibly dense super-massive blackhole arsehole

            Like

          • But who - says:

            - was stupid enough to have elected Labour in the first place FFS? – could they not see Bliar for what he was?

            Like

          • Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

            Whenever I see or hear about Watson the words “fat c u n t” march inexorably towards my lips.

            Like

          • TWATson says:

            Obviously TWATson and Harman took no lessons from the Alun Michael/Rhodri Morgan debacle when they plotted their Dromey / Simon switch up / stitch up.

            Factions fighting to fill the Miliband rudderless vacuum are unleashing the forces of hell against each other to deliver Sion as the anointed Birmingham candidate.

            You have to envy the citizens of Birmingham that they will be able to vote for such accomplished and venerated candidates as either Simon or Byrne.

            The Labour Party says it stands for social justice, strong community and strong values, reward for hard work, decency, rights matched by responsibilities – see http://www.labour.org.uk/what_is_the_labour_party

            It is a pity the Labour leadership didn’t deliver any of that in the 13 years they were in power and certainly do not live by it now, especially during elections.

            Decency! social justice!! reward for hard work!!! – LMFAO

            Like

        • 164
          Not Gay! Ex-Gay! says:

          Guido Fawkes

          Like

          • Left Wing Exposed says:

            ^Trust the left wing to show their true colours when they are not in power.

            And they keep trying to con the world into thinking Adolf wasn’t one of them.

            Like

          • Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

            They’d also like us to forget what happens when dyed in the wool lefties like Stalin, Mao and Pol Pot get power.

            Like

    • 19
      Popeye says:

      No, he’s just another fat unpleasant union thug who thinks he can bully his way through life.

      Like

      • 159
        Anonymous says:

        A clearly angered Johnson said: “London is one of the most tolerant cities in the world and intolerant of intolerance. It is clearly offensive to suggest that being gay is an illness that someone recovers from and I am not prepared to have that suggestion driven around London on our buses.”

        Transport for London (TfL) subcontracts advertising for London’s buses to the advertising agency CBSO, who ran the advert past the Advertising Standards Authority, according to one of Johnson’s aides.

        The ASA said the advert “does not infringe any advertising rules in the UK”.

        http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/apr/12/anti-gay-adverts-boris-johnson

        Like

      • 242
        Spangles says:

        And we are allowing the fat p*g to do it Popeye. Oh, the insanity of it all!

        T.watson for fecks sake – a p*g-ignorant shyster, full of his own import*ance. Why does anyone bother with him? Odious toe-rag.

        Like

    • 20
      illogical says:

      Watson is the whale. Ed Miligraine is the Jonah [ but he's lovely]

      Like

    • 33
      chriselee says:

      He’s just another fat twat

      Like

    • 82
      davehatter says:

      Guido must be getting worried about Watson for all the stick he’s giving him. A Murdoch Column in a decent tabloid must be just around the corner.

      Like

    • 165
      Jipple says:

      what a fat turd

      Like

    • 176
      Tom 'Bubba' Watson says:

      Hey! I got a hole in one! (And a nasty split in the other).

      Like

    • 252
      Tony Bliar didnt fool me says:

      Fat useless C.U.N.T…..

      Like

  2. 2
    The Dirty Rat says:

    I have only one thing to say. Fat C**t. And that’s both of them.

    Like

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    He’s gone crazy and has blanked the last month from his mind… or on the julian calendar

    … that’s why he’s campaigning for something that’s already happened, and next he’ll campaign for the Bradford by-election.
    Would explain why he didn’t mention it at the time.

    Like

  4. 4
    Aaron D Highside says:

    What a charmer, like Dugher, MacBride and Draper.

    Like

  5. 5
    nellnewman says:

    twatson’s coming to Cambridgeshire to campaign for labour??! That’s a bit like prezza visiting farmers to campaign for building over farmland!!

    But I wish he’d come here and knock on my door. I’d really like to ask him why the uncaring (too many managers not enough frontline staff) NHS under labour left YoungNells disabled because of their incompetence.

    Like

    • 13
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Actually I know quite a few farmers who would just love it if houses were built all over our green and pleasant.

      They would hoover up the cash and retire to somewhere nice.

      Like

      • 17
        nellnewman says:

        Probably would now given the beating they’ve taken from bliar’s giving in to the EU over everything re Agriculture. But their farms had been successfully worked for generations before then.

        Labour have ruined centuries of agricultural achievement with their kowtowing to the EU and orezza’s promises to concrete over the countryside.

        I still hope, one day, our agricultural skills and hard won successes can be restored.

        Like

        • 77
          Old Tory Bigot says:

          No Nell they don’t care any more.

          Tradition? Heritage? It’s all bollocks to the modern farmer. Money is the only thing that matters.

          Like

          • nellnewman says:

            Not where I come from. Land,tradition & learning about agriculture is handed down from one generation to the next.

            It’s only labour who thinks making a quick personal buck, at the expense of taxpayers and the country, is clever.

            Like

          • Glenda Slagg says:

            “Not where I come from.”

            Nell, you must come from another century.

            Like

          • nellnewman says:

            Another century? It was labour who lived in one of those whilst farmers heroically struggled through the last government’s attempts to annihilate farming for good.

            Where I come from memories are long and labour isn’t likely to be forgiven for its vandalism of farming not in this life and probably not the next!

            Like

          • Glenda Slagg says:

            I meant pre-1997. Really!

            Like

  6. 7
    Derek Draper says:

    These are absolutely totally brilliant Damian.

    CC: Tom Watson; Gordon Brown; Ed Balls

    Like

  7. 8
    Well it's a thought says:

    Shouldn’t this guy be spending his time helping the people of his constituency, that’s what he’s paid to do, if he has all this spare time to do other things then he’s being overpaid and should return monies back to the taxpayer, I always thought these people were always complaining about being overworked when working for their constituencies.

    Like

    • 12
      nellnewman says:

      Well he was doing that when he was in government with gordon, inasmuch as he was employing his own brummy family, generously paid, by the taxpayer.

      But apparently since labour fell out of favour he doesn’t employ them or live with them anymore and spends all his time in his bedroom, in that tiny flat in london that he claimed £100k expenses off the taxpayer to renovate, whilst playing on his xbox!

      Like

    • 15
      joescotus says:

      yes in scotlandshire there is another labour k*unt who does fuckall for his constituents name starts with g b . a complete and utter pile of sbite!

      Like

  8. 9
    nellnewman says:

    Oh I’ve just read his own official blurb ‘ Shot to Fame….’?!!!!

    Doesn’t he mean ‘Mired in Infamy’ ??!!

    Like

  9. 10
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    “couldn’t stomach any more”

    Judging by the look of the fellow he could probably ‘stomach’ quite a lot.

    Like

  10. 11
    Anonymous says:

    I thought that Tom could always stomach just a little more. Mmm custard

    Like

  11. 18
    Tom Watson says:

    I shot to fame at my local McDonalds when I ordered 9 million Big Macs.

    Like

  12. 21
    Judge Dreadful says:

    I do not understand why this man is not in prison.

    Like

    • 34
      Tony Bliar says:

      I find it very easy to understand. Every night I bathe in a gold tub full of the blood of dead Iraqis and British soldiers without whom I wouldn’t be so rich.

      Like

  13. 22
    apathy personified says:

    Who cares? They’re all wankers and you, Guido, are an even bigger wanker for spewing this shit onto an already overcrowded internet.

    Like

    • 25
      nellnewman says:

      Odd empty comment.

      Why are you bothering us with it if the internet is , in your opinion, already crowded?!

      Like

      • 28
        apathy personified says:

        I’m reporting you to the ModBot.

        Like

      • 96
        Mil.i.band says:

        “already overcrowded internet” you say, hey that gives me an idea for my next big policy , vote for me and I will introduce an Online “Congestion charge”.

        Like

        • 108
          nellnewman says:

          You’re beginning to sounf very like gordonbrown. His belief was ‘ if it breathes tax it!!’ or indeed ‘tax breathing’!

          Like

          • Glenda Slagg says:

            After all that breath-taking incompetance and breath-taking arrogance, there wasn’t much to be gained from taxing breathing.

            Like

    • 83
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Yes quite right.

      The Internet tubes are becoming like the congested arteries of an obsese, MacDonalds-guzzling, 40-a-day smoking, single-mum on incapacity benefits.

      It will not end well.

      Like

  14. 24
    Chicken Licken says:

    Lots of rain thunder and lightening. Is this caused by global warming?

    Like

    • 26
      nellnewman says:

      Errr – We’re in April when we normally experience these sunshine, showers and storm conditions. It’s what makes our land green!

      Like

      • 32
        Chicken Licken says:

        I read somewhere it was the Norwegians’ fault for killing whales. Or maybe I made that up. Anyway, its probably better if we all pay more taxes to windfarmers.

        Like

        • 38
          nellnewman says:

          Funny thing about them windfarms – when it’s very windy they tend to catch fire or fall over or both!

          Total waste of time and effort is my view especially since the miniscule amount of expensive electricity they produce cannot be afforded by anyone other than someone like bliar!!

          Like

          • My other car is a cart says:

            They should be doing more to harness wave power. We could do with a road link over the English Channel: it could have a load of wave farms attached to it to harness energy and keep the costs down.

            Like

          • nellnewman says:

            Road link over the channel?? God forbid!!

            We don’t want to get any closer to the french than we are now and that’s too close!!

            Like

          • Happiness is possible says:

            I have nothing against the French, or indeed, any of our European neighbours. I hate the EU and think we can do without it.

            Like

          • Ring a Ring o' Roses says:

            Too many turnips give me wind.

            Like

        • 46
          Tachybaptus says:

          Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.

          Like

          • Ring a Ring o' Roses says:

            Believe me you don’t wanna be close to me when I’ve had a turnip or two.

            Like

          • nellnewman says:

            Oh Good Lord! Ring a Ring o’ Roses you’re obviously a labour educated troll who has been taught to believe that vegetables are a) poisonous and b) come out out of supermarket freezers.

            By the way did you know that ‘Ring a Ring o’ Roses’ refers to the boils that people got on their bodies during this bubonic plague?

            Like

          • Ransome Stoddard says:

            That’s what I heard as a child, Nell, and the version that goes “Ashes, Ashes, we all fall down” supposedly refers to the Great Fire a year later. It’s one of those “Print the Legend”-type stories– it may not strictly be true, but it damned well OUGHT to be, don’t you think?

            Like

  15. 29
    Anonymous says:

    But there are more than 3 parties out there you know.

    You really have a chance in May elections to vote for any one other than the LibDem/Labour/Con pact. They all support a federalist United States of Europe but of course to your face will deny it. The trouble is their actions confirm it. Remember Dave vetoed a treaty that went ahead any way and then allowed them to use the EU institutions!

    You know where you are when you vote LibDem/Labour/Con, all the same sides of the coin, no difference. and continuing with Brown’s failed economic policies.

    Do what the Scots did and ditch them, you know it makes sense!

    Like

    • 37
      Postal Voter says:

      The Scouts have not been the same since Bear Grylls took charge.

      Like

    • 55
      say what you think says:

      Politics is a minority pursuit which engages huge numbers of, otherwise, unemployable PPE graduates in a 24/7, around-the-clock, orgy of nothing in particular, and in which others feel obliged to spout more nothingness in a bid to be recognised as a player in the tiny bubble of bullshit that most people, outside of the media-driven, imaginary, parallel world that these types inhabit, observe and then get on with mowing the lawn.

      Like

      • 255
        Flatus Veteranus says:

        I know my reply is late and will be read by very few but…

        This is the most wise and most true statement of our political scene that I have ever read!

        Like

    • 56
      The UK is becoming East Germany circa 1976 says:

      It’s rather like the old days in communist East Germany here.

      East German political parties:

      Socialist Unity Party of Germany (SED)
      Christian Democratic Union of Germany (CDUD)
      Liberal Democratic Party of Germany (LDPD)
      Democratic Farmers’ Party of Germany (DBD)
      National Democratic Party of Germany (NDPD)

      All Communist.

      United Kingdom political parties:

      Conservative (C)
      Labour (L)
      Liberal- Democrats (L-D)

      All socialist.

      Like

      • 95
        Old Tory Bigot says:

        Not really socialists, more ‘progressive’ social democrats.

        Since the days of the Sainted Margaret, all political parties have squabled over the middle ground of politics.

        It’s like football, where the two teams can only play withing 20 yards of the centre circle.

        Like

        • 123
          Glenda Slagg says:

          They still have a knack of scoring own-goals though.

          Like

        • 244
          I Remember You Hoo says:

          Ah “progressive” the term Mussolini used to describe fascism ( another form of socialism ) he also called it the “third way” neither capitalism or marxism but a mixture of the two, a public private partnership. Of course this is nothing like we have now is it?

          Like

  16. 36
    Anonymous says:

    It’s so nice to know that we are all in this togther, aren’t we?

    William Hague defends rising costs at his official residence.

    William Hague may have promised to fund any redecoration work that was necessitated by his decision to make the palatial 1, Carlton Gardens in St James’s his London residence, but the bill for refurbishing the whole building since he moved in already stands at almost £120,000. The Foreign Secretary has so far contributed only £3,500.

    They are just like Brown’s government, and they really don’t get it do they!

    Like

    • 39
      The Public says:

      Mr Hague is obviously unsuitable. Next please.

      Like

    • 41
      nellnewman says:

      Well the last resident was margaretbeckett and she plastered the whole place with flowery wallpaper and more than 100 hanging baskets.

      I don’t blame him if he needs to get rid of all evidence of her and her labour chums.

      Seriously though most of it has had to go on restoring the building to its Grade I listing. Anyone whose ever done that knows that the planning trolls won’t let you do anything that costs less than a £few hundred thousand thanks to the last government.

      Like

      • 48
        The Dirty Rat says:

        Bloody hell, did she live there? Imagine finding some of Madge’s short and curlies in the shower, you can understand why he would want to clean it up a bit.

        Like

        • 129
          Madge B says:

          Those only ever appeared after John popped round for a bit of slap & tickle. Ah, the days. “Big boy” I used to call him.

          Like

      • 172
        William Hague says:

        It’s not all bunting and frolics you know, I still can’t get to the front door for Beckett’s bloody caravan wedged between the bin store and the front wall.

        Like

  17. 42
    Anonymous says:

    Rather like the “he couldn’t stomach any more”. Do I win Friday’s caption contest with that if it’s a picture of Watson?

    Like

  18. 43
    Anonymous says:

    Guido surely you have got more on Watson than you are telling us – get rid of this nasty man

    Like

    • 51
      nellnewman says:

      Let’s keep him in the limelight. Every so often his utterances remind us what an evil force the last labour government was.

      Like

      • 63
        Evil Force says:

        Do you mind!

        Like

      • 174
        Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

        Quite right. We desparately need something to distract attention from Boy George.

        Like

        • 184
          nellnewman says:

          If you’re talking about georgie porgie then at least give him credit for not being gordonbrown who was the most dour ,miserable, depressing chancellor this country had seen for more than 200 years. Not to mention utterly and totally economically illiterate.

          georgie porgie makes me smile whilst he’s trying to convince me he’s saving my money whilst giving it to the IMF for the EU to give to Greece whilst he thinks I’m not looking!!

          Like

  19. 47
    DefinitelyNotLabour says:

    I let my wife deal with the local Labour bod who called because she got to the door first and I retreated to my chair. Had Tom turned up then I might have felt it worth sticking around and asking him some awkward questions.

    Like

    • 87
      Gooey Blob says:

      Surely if you don’t like a canvasser it’s better to talk to them then start a shouting match? Let them think you’re interested and keep them talking as long as you can. All the time you waste is time they aren’t persuading your neighbours to vote for them.

      In fact, ask for a leaflet. Register as a supporter. Fill in your name and address in any forms they stick through your door and post them back to the freepost addresses to receive occasional mailings from them. It wastes some envelope-stuffer’s time and saves you money in toilet paper.

      Can’t say there’s much difference between any of the parties’ election leaflets where I live. They’re all soft, strong and thoroughly absorbent.

      Like

      • 175
        Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

        Not very practical in my part of Surrey. The last socialist was burned at the stake sometime before Anne Milton was named as coven chair and all the Tories find the long drives a bit tricky with their zimmers – so no canvassers.

        Like

  20. 49
    Anonymous says:

    Thought he spent all his spare time porking rent boys, the lard arsed get.

    Like

    • 57
      Ring a Ring o' Roses says:

      He likes playing on his XBox by all accounts whatever one of those is, sounds gay to me.

      Like

      • 79
        a member says:

        It’s a bit like a playstation, I play with mine all the time.

        Like

      • 134
        nellnewman says:

        People who play xbox thingies are usually kids. twatson apparently is addicted to his.

        Apparently it doesn’t leave him for a fulltime job or working out what’s needed to win elections in places like ‘blackburn’.

        Like

        • 160
          Just asking says:

          Did he claim his X box on expenses too?

          Like

        • 177
          Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

          be sensible. If he is on his xbox he can’t be messing up public life. We should give all MPs xbox’s. Of course, I would make an exception for Boris. He would not have time to play computer games in between visiting his friends wives – which is why he is such a good mayor.

          Like

  21. 50

    It’s just a little rumour.
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/debt-crisis-live/9198888/Debt-crisis-live.html

    Oh look the stock market is rising again, awwww it’s all ok now.
    Back to work sheep!

    Like

    • 69
      Yvonne fron the Colliers Arms Clydach says:

      Us Farm Rolls out tomorrow.

      If the market has tanked up today some chickens will be getting stuffed then I reckon.

      Like

    • 78
      WVM says:

      What, and there’s me thinking we were on the Titanic when all along we were on the good ship QE3!

      happy days are here again…

      Like

  22. 52

    Æsop Abstemius 16

    The Fly and the Chariot. There was a chariot racing around the stadium, and on that chariot sat a fly. As a great dust arose, both from the pounding of the horses’ hooves, and also from the turning of the wheels, the fly exclaimed, “Oh what a mighty dust I have stirred up fat c*nt I am!”

    Like

  23. 59
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Fat cnut Watson & West Bromwich. A marriage made in heaven.

    Like

    • 178
      Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

      Having been born in West Bromwich I concede its not Richmond but it hardly deserves Watson. Then again, Bradford never deserved Pickles – I believe they still rely on emergency food supplies.

      Like

  24. 61
    Anonymous says:

    +++++++BREAKING NEWS++++++++++

    Former NoW staffer ‘has admitted’ having hacking cough’

    Sid Smith, who was a 40-a-day smoker and a cleaner at The Times in Fleet Street just after its purchase by Murdoch, has allegedly disclosed to a BBC investigative team that “in 1982, my boi come back from skool wiv the lurgy n Oi, ‘ow can Oi put it, did acktally get a hacking coff. I never fawt it woz wrong ter ‘ave a hacking cough, but now Oi no that all hacking woz wrong. Coz they told me so.”

    Like

  25. 62
    • 68
      Ken says:

      I’m not having any anti-pooftah adverts on my bendy buses.

      I’ll just have my Muslim mates close down their pubs and stone them to death.

      London is absolutely riddled with ‘em (poofs not Muslims, thank Allah).

      Like

  26. 67
    Brand X says:

    I think if Conservative MPs are going to join UKIP then it should take on a new name. Such as the British Democrats.

    Like

  27. 81
    See below says:

    See above.

    Like

  28. 84
    Peter Hitchens says:

    This fat sweaty buffoon probably couldnt run a bath without needing CPR
    Just how did we arrive here ?
    I imagine that Watson awakes most mornings wreathed in the stench of his own farts, along with the crispy panties of some Soho tart draped across his nose and searching for a reciept for that last kebab

    Like

    • 90
      GOD says:

      Pete me old mucker
      Will you be standing for election as promised ?
      I can guarantee you billions of postal votes ( my old pal Satan has loads on the electoral role)
      GOD

      Like

    • 107
      Ed Millipede Support Committee says:

      Dear Mr Hitchens

      Our attention has been drawn by large wads of cash to a comment on the infamous wesite run by a Mr Fawkes, This is to the effect that a Mr Tom Watson might be found “with the crispy panties of some Soho tart draped across his nose”

      We represent the said Tart who has instructed us to take proceedings for gross defamation in suggesting that she would sleep with any Labour Politician never mind Mr Watson. Our client further instructs us that her panties are not ‘crispy’ but soft and smooth and woven from the finest Thai Silk as available in all the best Soho Brothels and from her walk up in Brewer Street for a very reasonable £25 a pair (worn)

      Messers Sue Grabbit and Run Sols

      Like

  29. 86
    Lord Levinson and his legal cowboys says:

    Hello Guido

    Just a quick word to say that you have snookered us

    I have called over all Whitehall (most of them are in Asia) and the Bar

    Noone can give a way out of the legal schtuck you haver put me in

    I am damned if I overlook Motorman and I am damned if I take it up and put a few hundred jouranlists in jail where they belong

    You are right to say that this is all a question of Omerta

    That lovely Italian word I never expected to hear in the UK High Court…

    Like

  30. 91
    Sean Blake says:

    If it had been left to members of the Culture, Media and Sport Committee like Therese Coffey and Philip Davies, the Murdochs would have come across as cuddly, so tame a time were they given by those two Tories. For his tenacity there and in the House, just this once I’ll say well done to Tom on behalf of lots in the land.

    Like

  31. 92
    Ed Millipede Support Committee says:

    Famous? Perhaps….but if you roll a fat turd in glitter it is still a fat turd underneath

    Like

    • 183
      Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

      The conjunction of Piggy Pickles (aka Fat Turd) with Mr Glitter is wholly reprehensible and will be the subject of legal proceedings.

      Like

  32. 98
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    I think these showers were having proove the bbc right, very weird weather for April, all these short rain bursts, and did you notice how windy it was last month? I’ll bet it gets even stranger and we get flowers in May.

    Like

  33. 100
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    What is more serious, kidnapping a family and delivering them to a known brutal dictator or listening in to some mobile voicemail service (because the account holders were too thick to change the default manufacturers pin number)?

    Like

    • 185
      Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

      Lets be clear about this; Clegg and his family were not kidnapped and Cameron was nowhere in the vicinity when they were pushed through the door of no 10.

      Like

  34. 102
    Saint peter "aitch" Itchings says:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/04/12/not-gay-ex-gay-post-gay-and-proud-bus-adverts-bought-by-religious-group_n_1420691.html?1334244559&ncid=webmail1

    Even screaming ex queen Drerek Draper was converted so there is hope for all of them
    Except McMental

    Like

  35. 103
    Anonymous says:

    +++++++++BREAKING NEWS+++++++++++++

    BBC: Liberian government ‘implicated’ in hacking

    Radio 4 Today programme’s John Humphries has ‘won much praise’ for his investigation this week into a government minister’s promotion of hacking in rural areas in Liberia. According to secretly recorded tapes obtained by the BBC, the Liberian agriculture minister openly admitted “Yes, when clearing an area for agricultural usage, we do recommend hacking away any existing undergrowth.” He has also been recorded on tape as saying “It makes crop plants grow better”. Humphries, the respected BBC presenter, along with 47 BBC staff, spent this week in the country following allegations secretly revealed to the BBC that there was widespread hacking in rural areas in the country.

    Like

    • 106
      nellnewman says:

      +++Laugh+++ You missed out the bit about those 47 BBC employees travelling with a caravan of 100 luxury mobile homes equipped with servants, caviar and champagne and an army to protect them from the locals!!

      When the chilean miners rescue was underway the beeb was ridiculed in the media world for sending a fleet of luxury mobile homes equipped with every luxury for 32 employees when even Sky only sent 6 folks and they had to rough it!!

      But then of course the poor old taxpayer pays the beeb’s always over the top, unnecessarily expensive bill whilst sky pays out of its profits business style.

      Like

    • 136
      BBC Newsnight says:

      Run it!

      Like

      • 209
        Anonymous says:

        Who gives a shit about Liberia? Another example of the BBC being completely out of touch with licence payers.

        Like

  36. 104
    nellnewman says:

    Reading about twatson always reminds me of bullyballs’ friend damian mc b ride. They were of course alastardarlings ‘forces of hell’

    Given labours current catastrophic descent into chaos I suspect this ‘delightful’ trio is once again in charge of labour direction and policy.

    Long may it last!!!

    Like

    • 114
      You're a bore says:

      Bedtime, Nell.

      Like

      • 117
        nellnewman says:

        Ah Bless!

        Are twatson, sionsimon and hatty getting upset realising that middle England, their only hope for getting re-elected, realises what frauds and failures they are?

        Like

      • 122
        I don't need no doctor says:

        Take no notice Nell, labour twats don’t like the truth.

        Like

        • 124
          nellnewman says:

          Thank you. You are very kind. It’s odd isn’t it how labour folks on the web are so abusive and offensive when people disagree with their point of view?

          I haven’t noticed that any other sort of folks do that to the opposition.

          It’s a very gordonbrown, twatson, sionsimon, damianmcbride sort of trait that labour need to get rid of quick if they want to be re-elected anytime within the next 21st century!

          Like

  37. 105
    Ed Millipede Support Committee says:

    My comment is modded. All I said was “if you roll a fat t**d in glitter it is still a fat t**d underneath”. Has Watson a super injunction preveneting him being compared to t**ds?

    Like

    • 110
      Tachybaptus says:

      If you spell the word in full, it offends Guido’s delicate sensibilities. He would never emit such a thing himself, of course.

      Like

    • 111
      Anne Widdecombe says:

      No, but the turd has.

      Boom Boom!

      Like

    • 120
      Tachybaptus says:

      Funnу, thоugh, уоu саn wrіtе аbоut bukkаkе аll dау wіthоut gеttіng mоddеd. І dіdn’t knоw whаt іt mеаnt tіll І stаrtеd rеаdіng thіs blоg, whісh hаs tаught mе fаr mоrе аbоut dеνіаnt sеxuаl рrасtісеs thаn іt hаs аbоut роlіtісs.

      Like

    • 167
      Sir William Waad says:

      You could try typing ‘une crotte grasse’.

      Like

  38. 113
    Why can't Boris and Ken do this? says:

    Like

  39. 116
    Anonymous says:

    +++++++++BREAKING NEWS+++++++++=

    THE GUARDIAN: LONDON MAYOR ‘ADMITS TO INVOLVEMENT IN PHONE BACKING’

    Boris Johnson, the Mayor of London, who is campaigning for re-election in May, has ‘admitted’ being involved in phone backing, following a thirteen-month investigation by The Grauniad newspaper. Johnson, widely regarded as a maverick, has admitted to ‘maybe once or twice inadvertently’ telephoning prospective voters to ask for their support after The Grauniad put the allegations to him.

    Like

    • 121
      nellnewman says:

      Ken Livingstone meanwhile told the Graudian what an idiot he thought Boris was as he himself had come up with a much better election ruse – ‘Curry favour with folks who could offer help with postal voting and make promises about putting money in pockets which would never be kept’

      Like

    • 130
      Channel 4 News says:

      Run it!

      Like

    • 138
      By Passer says:

      I’ll back any phone manned by Boris!

      Hey Boris! – come on mate! – we need you more than ever! Get this London nonsense over with then take over No 10 – and shove the waste-of-space out to do a proper job for once in his life, – or he could bugger off to the UN – providing he doesn’t take our money with him.

      Honour indeed! – the UN knows an idiot when they see one!

      Like

      • 150
        nellnewman says:

        Nope I don’t think Boris will do for No10.

        And I never thought I’d say it but I rather think that DavidDavies might be the man to take the tories (in 2015) out of this mire they’ve dug themselves into with the hopeless libdems.

        cameron is, of course, far better than gordon (OMG what a mess we’d have had if gordon was still there) but still disappointing as a tory.

        Very disappointed too in the libdems , totally failed in actual government . I once thought, with care and flair, they could take over opposition from labour. Not happened! Never going to happen now!!

        UK Politics is in the doldrums. Nobody is excelling; except labour who are excelling at being particularly awful at the moment!!

        Like

  40. 119
    I don't need no doctor says:

    I wouldn’t even use Watson to wipe my arse after eating a red hot curry. Watson really is a lard bar arsehole shit faced twat.

    Like

    • 191
      Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

      Ah, a German contribution judging by the interminable compound adjective.

      Like

      • 202
        nellnewman says:

        ‘Interminable compound adjective’ ?!

        That sounds very like a labour initiative of a leaflet printed in it’s millions at great expense to the taxpayer to explain what constipation is!!

        Like

  41. 125
    A pragmatist says:

    Does the NHS still exist? I distinctly remember being told by many Labour turds that it would not be in existence by now.

    Like

  42. 126
    A pragmatist says:

    Does the NHS still exist? I distinctly remember being told by many Labour t*rds that it would not be in existence by now.

    Like

    • 143
      A Poor Bloody Patient says:

      I presume Sir – you mean tards? – a perjoritive term for members of NooLieBore?

      and why does Guido’s bloody web site turn ‘j’s into ‘i’s? in the word

      P E R J O R I T I V E or however it’s spelt / spelled / writ?

      Like

    • 144
      nellnewman says:

      Apparently it’s functioning rather better, financially, these days as they prune out the paperclip pushing managers and pilgrims.

      Long way to go though before it get’s back to being a service that centres on medical excellence for population rather than administrative taxpayer funded worthless jobs created by gordon.

      Like

  43. 127

    It makes me want to cry (crocodile tears)

    Like

    • 145
      nellnewman says:

      Sorry but the sobbing, weeping livingstone being hugged and comforted by militwit made me laugh.

      What wimps. Next we know this drowning duo will be on a sofa crying and hugging talking to piersmorgan !!!

      Like

  44. 128
    Tom F a t s o n says:

    I may be busy but I still have very limited availability for my nationally-renowned Billy Bunter impersonations. Discounts available. Tuck in chaps!

    Like

  45. 132
    Mzzz 'MadasaHat' HaHaPerson Mzz. Jowells Mzz. Bollocks Mzz Fątbōtty - and other NooLieBore Cliterat says:

    We’ve been talking all afternoon, – going back to Mr Stringer, if we practise hard, and put on a good pŏle dancing show, – would Mr Stringer give NooLieBore lots of money, and us some presents and choccys?

    Like

  46. 135
    Anonymous says:

    ++++++++BREAKING NEWS++++++++++

    British Jazz legend not involved in the phone hacking scandal

    The BBC can exclusively reveal that jazz musician Acker Bilk, widely regarded as the master of the clarinet, has no connection whatsoever to the phone hacking scandal. Doubts about the musician’s involvement were raised following a separate eight-year BBC investigation into his nickname ‘Acker’ where BBC journalists were provided with on the record evidence from some Cockney passers-by that ‘Acker’ could, by a long stretch of the imagination, be an abbreviation of ‘hacker’.

    Like

  47. 147
    Alex 'bonkers' Crawford of Shite Sky News says:

    Who is that woman reporting for Sky News? She’s rubbish, she’s not got her army helmet on, she’s not shouting into the microphone and she’s not telling everyone she so great because she’s not a man! She’s even talking calmly. That won’t do. SHOUT SHOUT SHOUT!!! and she’s balanced, balanced!! why would you do that? I’m the truth, I’m god. I’m Alex Crawford!

    This is atrocious, someone needs to let me out of this padded cell so I can go and jump on the back of a Toyota pick-up and go liberate Syria.

    Like

    • 152
      nellnewman says:

      How right you are!!!

      Alex Crawford was balanced, calm and always at the front of whatever action was happening. The fact that she was a woman was irrelevant.

      The beeb was always hiding at least 50miles behind any lines of conflict and in any case only ever bothered to report, secondhand, anything that was remotely leftwing. Didn’t matter if it was true or not!!

      Like

  48. 151

    Just like Ken Lie-vingstone, I cannot stop lying, I mean, crying, either

    Like

    • 155
      nellnewman says:

      Lying, crying – fast becoming labour’s trademark isn’t it?

      Bill should be able to find us a suitable youtube song for that surely!!

      Like

  49. 157
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    Pat’s a confirmed atheist, and he talks a hell of a lot of sense.

    Like

  50. 163
    Tom Watson says:

    Oink! Woffle snort oink weee weee weeee!

    Like

    • 170
      nellnewman says:

      I think it’s very unfair to pigs to suggest twatson might be one.

      Like

      • 186
        Nurse says:

        Haven’t your pills kicked in yet luv?

        Like

        • 203
          nellnewman says:

          Well Nurse Pilgrim I don’t need pills.

          It’s the pilgrims and labour parasites who are feeling stressed these days as the taxpaying electorate are becoming increasingly aware of how they have have been ‘taken for a ride’ by unproductive, worthless, leftwing troughers for too long!!

          Like

      • 196
        Swineherd and Piggy Lover says:

        NEVER EVER insult a pig by comparing it to anyone in NooLieBore! – or for that matter any of the fat fuckers in the so-called ‘Conservative’ partee.

        Or, remember the words of The Great Man – cats etc . . dogs etc, – BUT PIGS LOOK YOU IN THE EYE LIKE AN EQUAL!

        Like

  51. 169
    Raving Loon says:

    Government by popular consent and respect for individual liberty are not universal ideals, they are uniquely Judeo-Christian values and only in a small number of countries are they respected. What we understand as freedom has only arisen in mainly Christian countries, and it is precicely for this Christian background that other religions are respected to a degree that is not enjoyed in other nations around the world.

    It is pointless trying to pacify Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Libya, Syria and so on as they are, as the nice man points out, backwards and barbaric. Their citizens do not share a deep seated desire to live in a free and open soceity, and we should stop wasting money and human lives in the effort to civilise savages. Leave them to it. Don’t interfere, and don’t leave our borders open for them to come here and bring their barbarism to our country. The UK does not need honour killings, Islamic based anti-semetism or gang rapes of young girls who are in the “wrong area”.

    Perhaps one day they may evolve to our standards, but we cannot do it for them. It’s not about the compatibility of Christianity or Western soceity and Islam, it’s simply the case that it is foolish to expect cavemen to adapt to modern civilisation. The sooner we realise this, the better.

    Like

  52. 173
    Tim Montgomerie's 10 inch black dildo says:

    That South Cambs political composition in full:

    Tory 33
    Lib Dem 18
    Independent Yokels 6
    Labour 1

    Well that’s a waste of time isn’t it you fat twatson?

    Like

  53. 179
    Just exactly what is a charity? says:

    Why is the Eden tourist center given charity status?

    Just what is the sense in creating a pretend Amazon jungle in St Austell? I doubt the Brazilians would give charity status to a cornish clay pit in their country.

    Like

  54. 188
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Next labour MP to cry.
    Harriet Harman 10/1
    Peter Hain 9/1
    Ed Miliband 2/5

    Like

  55. 190
    Met Plod says:

    Please don’t call us to report any terror, our systems are fucked.

    Like

  56. 193
    More double standards from left wing media says:

    So the lefty media are delighted that the anti gay adverts have been pulled from the London buses. But come come they don’t demand Red Ken says sorry for all his anti gay bollocks over the years and his best mate (big bearded wanker) who calls for gays to be killed?

    Like

    • 206
      not a machine says:

      you are joking arnt you ???? since when has an opposing view to lifestyle portrayals , that doesnt breech advertising standards , been pulled .

      I will be interested in the story of complaint ,

      Like

    • 213
      Stick ur willy up a man's bottom says:

      Double standards. The homosexuals were allowed to put their adverts on buses. Dave’s gayers are in control. He does not believe in Christian values.

      Why should children be subject to overt gayism on their school bus?

      Like

      • 216
        More double standards from left wing media says:

        Not complaining about that, just the double standards of the left who don’t like what white Christian groups say, but have no problem with bushy bearded bell ends who call for gays to be lobbed off mountains and their beloved Red Ken supporting the people who say that.

        If Boris were supporting these mongs the left would be outraged.

        Like

  57. 197
    A Poor Bloody Patient says:

    That you anon, indeed I do, – I stand, – or rather lay / lie / squirm here – corrected!

    Like

  58. 198
    A Poor Bloody Patient says:

    #188 – intended as a reply to #145 – apologies

    Like

  59. 201
    not a machine says:

    Bit off topic but thought I would just have a wee rant at BBC4s beautiful minds season , fair enough two of them have done scientific work , but putting Dawkins in there is a bit , well how shall put it , unproven as a work of genius . I could describe a pine comb as a work of evolution , but that doesnt mean the alternative is proven wrong .

    Like

    • 219
      Even the Pope says this is crap. says:

      Yep. Pine cones (and, indeed, the entire universe) were created in 7 days. About 5,000 years ago. The Bible says so.

      No other evidence to the contrary. Anywhere.

      Move along. Nothing to see.

      Like

      • 239
        not a machine says:

        Here we go , I dont actually believe the universe was created 5000 yrs ago , but you have to admit that such complexity out of singularity , is debateable .
        I mean why isnt there uniformity of structure of energy as you would beleiev laws of thermodynamics would imply .

        My other favourite , is given most depictions of earth forming from a dust acretion disc , into this glowing red , molten ball , how come so much water , why didnt it just evaporate …….. mmm must have had a sequence wether evolution or god ……..

        my other gem , given universe is thought to be about 15bn years old and earth is about 5bn years old , some 10bn years have elapsed for intelligent life to appear , add in a few more detailed calculations about life evolving to make electronic signals and not destroying it self , and universe should be teaming with intelligent life signals , yet there is zip

        Like

  60. 211
    Mrs Merritt says:

    Hello

    You had it in for this chap, Watson, before the Murdoch hacking thing emerged. You failed to see the future and backed the wrong horse.

    Yours sincerely
    Mrs Faye Merritt (truly independent and non-partisan floating voter)

    Like

    • 217
      Tom Fatson is not long for this world (thank fuck) says:

      Watson’s not so much “a chap” as a morbidly obese moron.

      Myocardial infarction in.. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2..

      Like

  61. 218
  62. 221
    What a Whimp Dave is says:

    I see Gay Dave is already backing down on this rich man’s charity thing. FFS a 25% tax relief on charity giving is more than reasonable. DO NOT GIVE IN TO THE BBC DAVE, even the Liberals think this is fair.

    Why does Dave always give in to the BBC and its Guardian print version?

    Like

    • 222
      Reality Check says:

      It is more than a 25% tax relief. It is a one hundred percent tax relief on a quarter of ALL that a rich man earns. Fuck the BBC, Fuck the Guardian, it is time that Dave showed some leadership and forced his ministers to explain to the public the real facts.

      Like

      • 229
        Anonymous says:

        Charitable giving should be tax deductable. ALL of it. What should be outlawed is the many “non-charities” that currently benefit from charitable status.

        Charitable status isn’t the issue… faux charities are!

        Like

        • 230
          Q says:

          That still begs the question. What is a charity?

          Like

        • 253
          A pragmatist says:

          It is, as far as I am not aware, not been suggested by anyone that quite a lot of these fake charities are on the continent of Europe. While the UK could, and SHOULD, close down these tax deduction scams in ALL none-UK based charities (which can’t be controlled by HMRC), doing so in the rest of the EU would no doubt be illegal under the laws of the Brussels Reich. Once again I suspect what is best for Britain is subservient to our masters’ wishes.

          VOTE UKIP. You know it makes sense.

          Like

    • 228
      A Little Man says:

      Problem being that Tony Blair and Gordon Brown are now official charities.

      How can this be right? They tour the world earning vast sums of money but channel it all into their tax free offices.

      Like

  63. 225
    Anonymous says:

    No matter what he does Tom Watson will always be a snarling, unpleasant, nasty left wing tool. Spending taxpayers cash on “image consultancy” and such can never disguise the fact that he’s a twat of the highest order.

    Like

  64. 226
    nellnewman says:

    Good Night Folks. God Bless.

    Like

  65. 227
    Andy Bung-ham says:

    Like

  66. 240
    not a machine says:

    phew , failed in flight .

    Like

  67. 241
    Shrek says:

    It’s uncanny – like looking a mirror every time that I see him!

    Like

  68. 247
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    I was looking up the word vacuum in the dictionary and came across the word milliband.

    Like

  69. 248
    Lord Levinson and his legal cowboys says:

    Here we go again

    The Times this time…

    http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-04-12/news-corp-s-times-sued-over-hacking-of-u-k-cop-s-e-mail.html

    Like

  70. 249
    Does he want all the fags removeed from Government too? says:

    “We don’t want to work in partnership with the tobacco companies because we are trying to arrive at a point where they have no business in this country,”

    How many jobs is that idiot Lansley prepared to see move abroad?
    Maybe Guido could ask him.

    Like

    • 261
      Tony Eden from Eton says:

      BAT year in year out has been one of the best performing FTSE100 companies.

      I wonder how much tax it has paid?

      Like

  71. 250

    To call the opposition the nasty party is rather overgenerous.

    Labour is now the evil party.

    Like

  72. 256
    Jane Birkin from Paris says:

    I do not think that this person is doing a good job for the taxpayer.

    I think all of these parliamentary committeees are sanctimonious affairs at best but with Watson I feel he is most interested in grandstanding.

    I for one would not like to be alone in a lift with this person.

    He is absolutely obsessed with Murdoch yet always falls short of delivering any killer blow.

    I am truly amazed by how much maladministration and blatant skullduggery is going on unchallenged.

    I would have thought an ambitious articulate and honest socialist or conservative Mp would have seized on the transfer of the Royal Mail Pension Fund to the account of the good old taxpayer.This transfer is simply a ticking timebomb which is surely going to blow up in the faces of the remaining taxpayers.

    There is absolutely no long term benefit to the taxpayer yet no single Mp was prepared to put his or her head above the parrapet and try to stop it.

    This Watson person is simply a big smokescreen avoiding any real debate about anything whilst the skullduggery continues.

    Like

  73. 258
    claphamomnibusbloke says:

    Watson is a fat publicity seeking twunt!

    Like

  74. 263
    Grrr says:

    Is this the same guy who was chained up in the shed at the end of “Shaun of the Dead”?

    Like

  75. 264
    Anonymous says:

    Yeah, let’s ignore the fact he went out across the whole of Cambridge, a massive target council for Labour – which has one ward in Lansley’s seat. Do you know nothing about politics? Don’t let the truth stand in the way of spin.

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

Carswell, the Clacton Cassandra | James Ford
Love Bomb Carswell | ConservativeHome
Denis MacShane’s Ex is Now Hacked Off Spokesman | Speccie
How the Carswell Story Unfolded | Sky News
How to Defect | Telegraph
Carswell Defection Will Dismay Thoughtful Tories | ConservativeHome
Carswell: Darling of the Tories, Labour and Now UKIP | Speccie
Where is the Love? | Tom Watson
Tory Eurosceptics Weakened | Speccie
Thacker Played Down Scandal | Times
How Clegg Lost the Women of Britain | Sophy Ridge


VOTER-RECALL
Get the book Find out more about PLMR


Douglas Carswell’s side-kick Dan Hannan MEP pours water on the obvious question:

“I won’t be joining UKIP, though I wish Douglas Carswell all the best. He has been a superb MP, and it’s honourable to stand for re-election.”



Owen Jones says:

We also need Zil lanes.


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