April 11th, 2012

Dave Takes Up Brown’s Legacy

Dave arrives in Indonesia and moments later:

“A tsunami watch was issued for countries across the Indian Ocean today after a large earthquake hit waters off Indonesia, sending residents pouring from their homes in panic. The US Geological Survey said the 8.7-magnitude quake was centred 20 miles beneath the ocean floor around 269 miles from Aceh’s provincial capital.”

Can anyone remember another Prime Minister this sort of thing used to happen? Surely not…


  1. 1
    ToonBob... says:

    Why do these people love to play world statesman, when there such a f*ck up at home?


  2. 2
    Another Engineer says:

    Nо tsunаmі rеpоrts аs yеt. Hе’ll hаvе tо try а bіt hаrdеr tо mаtch thе Scоttіsh Onе.


    • 8

      Might just cause widespread flooding.

      Calamity Cam is a disappointment. Bbut he’ll never manage to be the primary host for the world’s misfortunes like the menatlist.

      Has anyone checked exactly where McDoom is today?
      On a fishing trip 300 miles east of Phuket perhaps?


    • 16
      Cameron is Crap says:

      They’re both Scottish.

      And Cameron promised to match Brown’s ruinous spending plans. Both wanted/want to snoop on our phone calls and emails and web browsing. Both want to bury England under a sea of concrete, and to make us pay for it. And now disaster follows in Cameron’s wake, just like it did with Brown..

      Maybe they’re brothers, separated at birth.


  3. 3
    mark says:

    dave and his chums will slum it out in the gardens of the embassy playing badminton and drinking G&T till the locals calm down.


  4. 4
    mark says:

    ironic that dave is going to myanmar to extoll the virtues of democracy. yet back here: snooping laws, taxing grannies, extended holidays for MPs, tax-payer funded lunches for MPs – paid for by increasing taxes on our lunches, too many MPs, too many councils, amongst highest taxes in the western world and we’re in the biggest mess in the western world…..good old dim dave


    • 11
      AC1 says:

      If you think the Granny tax is wrong wait till you see this….


      Baby Boomer demand their child slaves are more productive.

      If you wonder why politics is so awful, it’s because the major electoral demographic are especially awful.


      • 18
        A former Prime Minister says:

        They should allow in millions of immigrants to work for an artificially high minimum wage; the taxes they pay will fund a socialist Utopia. Honest!


        • 29
          Cameron is Crap says:

          “the movement of people and labour into and out of the UK is, and always has been, absolutely essential to our economy.” – Tony Blair, speech to the Confederation of British Industry, 27th April 2004.

          Yep. It worked wonders.


        • 35
          M*dbot's going mad again today. says:

          “the movement of people and labour into and out of the UK is, and always has been, absolutely essential to our ec*onomy.” – Tony Blair, speech to the Confederation of British Industry, 27th April 2004.

          Yep. It worked wonders.


          • AC1 says:

            Well it has for the wallets of the political classes.

            Subsidise immigration = Higher Rents + Lower Wages = Easy profits at the countries expense.


          • M*dbot's going mad again today. says:

            Ah, that explains why Tony has 9 houses.


    • 20
      Sir William Waad says:

      I don’ t think there are too many MPs. Rather, they don’t do much that’s useful. Fewer MPs will mean an even greater proponderance of the payroll vote in the Commons and less democracy.


  5. 5
    Big Fat Momma says:

    You forget that the odious Brown’s heritage was bad luck for so many people, but HE was never in danger as this bad luck happened after he left them.


    • 10

      GOOD SPOT! Dave and the Indonesians are all in it together.


      • 15
        Loungelizard says:

        Rich or poor, you don’t fuck with a tsunami….


        • 21
          Cameron is Crap says:

          That’s what Cameron thought when he saw the tsunami of debt that Brown left behind. “Ooh, that’s bad, I won’t mess with that.”

          And so it came to pass that Cameron avoided doing anything about the debt tsunami, and indeed added to it by borrowing even more money and giving it away to India. So they could buy French warplanes.


    • 24

      Its because he is the primary host.
      Gordon has a symbiotic relationship with us. Only an amensalism one.

      Amensalism is the type of symbiotic relationship that exists where one species is unaffected and one is completely obliterated.


  6. 9
    Anonymous says:

    Wile E. Cameron-Ote?


  7. 12

    What a terrible blow to the Tories.


  8. 13
    fuck off Dave says:

    “I am part of global leadership.”


  9. 17
    Sir William Waad says:

    Panic? Surely leaving your home would be the rational thing to do, if you lived by the coast in Aceh?


    • 19
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      Journo-bollocks. Like when someone has to go into a pond to save someone they have to dive, jump, or plunge


      • 25
        Cameron is Crap says:

        Or the brave fighter pilot, whose plane was about to hit some houses “but he fought the controls and crashed into a field, saving many lives.”

        Given the choice of crashing into a house or a field, which would you choose?


        • 31
          sockpuppet #4 says:

          The houses. Just so no-one would say how brilliant I was when dead.

          “He was a bit of a grumpy git really, I won’t miss him to be honest, I wonder if I’ll get my strimmer back now”.


          • Loungelizard says:

            Or the Gels featured in the society magazines, they’re all Artistic…Talented…. or Musical. never The Bovine Clarissa Trumpington-Smythe.


          • Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

            Or the tautology ’10 year old school girl’


  10. 23
    Sue Nami says:

    Slow news day, Guido?


  11. 26
    St Francis says:

    Apparently it’s one of the top-10 biggest quakes ever recorded. Only there’s no tsuanami reported for now. It could be our Dave’s aura is calming the waters, bringing peace and tranquillity to a troubled corner of the world, or at least providing valuable time for the locals to seek refuge.

    If Brown walked out of the plane, thunder would boom, a typhoon would start and frogs would fall out of the sky. A plague of locusts would probably sweep across the region too.


  12. 27
    Arnold Arnold says:

    I think it is good that Dave is off globe trotting and the MPs on yet another holiday. At least they aren’t passing laws to tax grannys and pasties or making up silly regulations about replacing a broken boiler, or giving powers to GCHQ to monitor our internet use.


    • 32
      Cynical-old-bag says:

      Don’t worry, Arnold.

      The laws may have already been passed at 3am on the day their holidays started.


    • 46
      Gawd Help Us says:

      This is a dangerous time when their minds are idle. they begin to wander off and think up further cunning wheezes to extract more funds for their pathetic little games and projects.


    • 51
      The Golem says:

      I’m sure Dave is only following orders. A rubber stamp would be so much cheaper.


    • 55
      Raymond Revue says:

      Tax on pasties – what about g-strings?


      • 58
        Mr Letch says:

        What about a very high tax on women’s clothes? Eh? Eh?

        (Of course, the unintended consequence might be that the poor chav mingers walk around naked and the rich totty stays covered up..)


        • 65
          Cynical-old-bag says:

          Errr…. some of them are already half naked. Just go to your local night club at 2 in the morning.

          There are hundreds of them, all legless.


      • 71
        Must get a pseudonym one day says:

        There’s already 20% VAT on G-Strings, whether they are served hot or cold – unless, of course, they are designed for children, in which case they are exempt from VAT.
        Wonder which pa*do minister thought of that one ?


  13. 33
    Guardian reader, foaming at the mouth says:

    This is caused by man made global warming, created by white male racists. I read the scientific posts of Hadley Freeman and Sally Bercow and I know global warming is true. Deniers should be imprisoned just like like white males who say the Holoc4ust didn’t happen or who say that New Labour increased public spending too much. My lecturer in my course of female gender empowerment told me that.


    • 37
      M*dbot's going mad again today. says:

      Aha! I caught you. “Lecturer”. They don’t have “lecturers” now, they have “learning facilitators”.


  14. 34
    Hang on says:

    Surely it ust the north Koreons testing a underground nuke no?


  15. 36
    Kraken says:

    Must admit that I’m surprised California has not had the big Earthquake this week. Or has Sarah gone there with just the Kids and left Jonah brooding alone at home?


    • 61
      Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

      California is long overdue for the ‘quake that’ll dump it into the Pacific. If he has any intelligence at all, Jerry Brown wouldn’t even allow McDoom into Californian airspace.


  16. 43
    It's not cricket says:

    Two youth football coaches have been given a one-year suspension from the sport after being accused of breaking anti-competition rules for organising an under-11 competition in Wales.


  17. 49
    Anonymous says:

    I take this to mean that as far as this blog is concerned, we’ve given Dave every chance to prove he’s a Tory and he’s finally blown it.


  18. 50
    Penfold says:

    Perhaps he can sell them some Hawks or Typhoons to help any post-tsunami clean up.


    • 57
      David Cameron says:

      I’m going to give them oodles of money, so they can buy French Mirage jets.


      • 60
        Loungelizard says:

        These Mirage jets are just a cunning Frenchy con, there’s nothing to them, they’re all in the mind.


      • 67
        Rumpy Pumpy of EUSSR says:

        That’s a good boy.


      • 76
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        They might buy them off india or the country next to it second hand.
        I don’t think they make mirages any more.

        Anyway. give it a few years and they’ll be able to buy shiny new Rafales made in India.


  19. 59
    Galloway for PM says:

    Once the Right Honourable G Gallowayy (praises be upon his name) becomes PM we won’t have to suffer the indignities of this hideous crowd of Nu-Labour and Nu-Tory buffoons.

    Have a little respect and vote Respect now!


  20. 63
    The Rich Elite says:

    Let’s all drink up

    Come on, the Tsunami’s on us!!!!


  21. 64
    Gordon Brown says:

    Now I’m truly redundant.


  22. 69
    Q says:

    Its the Big (richter) Society


  23. 72
    fuck you BBC says:

    BBC staff warned: ‘Salford is a different kettle of fish to London’

    Ha fuckin ha. The chattering media luvvies get first hand evidence of the shite that is the UK outside their cushy W14 and Islington enclaves.



  24. 83
    Brown Tùrds says:

    Smashing the Mirror is luckier.


  25. 85
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Well he has single handedly DEVESTATED the TORY party.


  26. 86
    Private_Schultz says:

    Nooo, all wrong – there’s an earthquake, fears of a tsunami, Dave lands and the tsunami fears redece.


  27. 88
    Anonymous says:

    Yes but even the Tsunami was so frightened of becoming enmeshed in Dave’s litany of revisions and U – turns that even It receded !!


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