March 23rd, 2012

Finally a Good Front Page for George

This was the sort of headline Guido imagines they were going for:

Shame George’s biographer isn’t the Political Editor of all the newspapers…


56 Comments

  1. 1
    Ian says:

    It could have been worse, he could of rasied booze,fags , fuel duty.

    Like

    • 3
      Word says:

      Booze went up anyway, cigs went up 37p on a box of 20, and fuel has gone up 2p at my local since the budget.

      So yeah, couldn’t have been much worse.

      Like

    • 18
      Clever George says:

      The really clever bit was the delay in the 50% tax cut for one year.

      1) we know that £20 000 000 000 of income was brought forwrd to avoid the 50% band, increasing the take from the last year of 40%.

      2) The same people know that the 50% band will be going in a year and are likely to defer the income by similar means to after april 2013

      3) tax reciepts will be upin year 2013-2014

      4) Giveaway budget in March 14 with tax cuts for all using this deferred income tax.

      5) George hailesd as architect of britains financial recovery

      6) Conservative overall majority in May 2015 election.

      7) Vince Cable kicked out with a footprint on his arse!

      Sorted!

      Like

      • 23
        Submariner George says:

        RUMBLED!

        Like

        • 24
          clever George says:

          I forgot:

          5a) evidence produced that a cut in tax increases tax received, justifying further promises of tax cuts should george be Cancellor again

          Like

          • Bill Kenwright says:

            you mst think we’re stupid – george hasn’t got a cat in hells chance of even becoming everton manager afetr this!!!!

            Like

      • 35
        Taxfodder says:

        George, your comment is the very essence of a pratts WET DREAM.

        There is nothing clever about robbing the poor to pay the wealthy, nothing clever at all….

        But then again its the Tory way….

        Like

        • 36
          A pragmatist says:

          Yes that massive increase in personal allowances (£220 a year for 24 million taxpayers) for the poor is fooling nobody. Nor that 5% rise for pensioners and those on benefits either. Nor those extra taxes for rich home buyers and closing tax loopholes that the rich so effortlessly avoid. And those shameless attempts to encourage businessmen to create jobs in this country for the benefit our youth (or would be if it weren’t for the fact that immigrants will just come here and take them) don’t fool anybody. Lowering corporation tax and getting rid of the ridiculous 50p tax rate that brought in £100 million while dissuading many businessmen from creating jobs here doesn’t fool anybody.
          George, you may be doing what is best for this country by reducing the humongous deficit but you don’t fool anybody. Admit it you just want this country to do well and keep your job. Bastard!

          Like

          • Anonymous says:

            Gideon will do as he his told! What is his degree in, certainly not economics or business studies, bit like that other economic genius Gordon Brown, what job did he do after leaving Cambridge and the Bullingdon Club? Just asking

            Like

    • 43
      Anonymous says:

      Doesn’t that bag carrier look remarkably like Dubya

      Like

  2. 2
    Darren says:

    My nipples is burnt

    Like

  3. 4
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    Cable as the bag man and Dave as the poofy concierge. Very good.

    Like

  4. 5

    I thought the front pages would all be full of Big Ben stories.

    Here are some of the ideas flying around Westminster for the future of Big Ben: http://bit.ly/GRUpmt

    Like

  5. 7
    Scamp - The Excitable Dog. says:

    Hands up in the shadow-cabinet if you’re gonna benefit from the income tax cut.
    *Ejaculates but then realises he’s read his pre-written script slightly wrong*
    DOH!!!

    Like

  6. 8
    Drewster says:

    Gideon: “Roll up, roll up, step right this way……”

    Call Me Dave: “Don’t tell ‘em your name, Cable!”

    Manuel: “Like Chris Huhne, I have too much baggage.”

    Talking of cables, politics makes me wanna lay one…….

    Like

  7. 9
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Is it cos Glaxo aren’t doing a Pfizer and shutting down research labs?

    If there are no more big investment announcements (in the next 12 months) after George’s corporation tax changes then he and the UK economy are fucked in a purely technical sense.

    But if investment leads to more jobs, and a rise in the potential for economic growth, then grasping George might save his own job.

    But hell hath no fury like a pressure group scorned.

    Like

  8. 10
    They're all cunts says:

    Paying dividends already…

    Sir Andrew Witty, the GSK chief executive, said: “The introduction of the patent box has transformed the way in which we view the UK as a location for new investments, ensuring that the medicines of the future will not only be discovered, but can also continue to be made here in Britain.”

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/budget/9159673/Budget-2012-GlaxoSmithKline-to-invest-500m-in-UK-and-create-1000-jobs-after-cut-in-patent-profits-tax.html

    Like

  9. 13
    Feel em Friday says:

    Like

  10. 15
    dr. sipp says:

    40k/40%tax budget just isnt cricket

    Like

    • 37
      A pragmatist says:

      Is that why so many foreigners don’t play cricket and don’t punish rich businessmen who want to make more money while having the side-effect of creating lots of jobs for people? At 50% the highest tax rate was the highest in the G20. How was that ever going to get the country growing? That is Economics for Lemmings.

      Like

  11. 16
    Call Me Dave - Crouching Lettuce, Hidden Quisling says:

    I believe that it is time for an honest dialogue to be held between this government and the people of Britain.

    My colleagues on the other side of the house have left us with an inheritance of huge public spending, gigantic bank bailouts, PFI funding and enormous civil service pension liabilities, and quite frankly, there is nothing left for me to sell off to giant global companies (apart from the road network).

    That is why, I am proposing, that we should reintroduce the institution of slavery and public slave auctions for working taxpayers who have been in work for more than a year. At their local slave market, they can have their teeth checked and be pawed and prodded by wealthy Chinese businessmen bidding for their lives, and the paid jobs they leave behind, when they set sail for China, will be freed up for the unemployed.

    But there’s more than that, crucially, it will enable us to tackle Britain’s debt mountain through the coming years. A mountain that can only be climbed by us all pulling together. Pulling together we can get Britain back to work and pulling together we can put Britain at the heart of China.

    Like

    • 38
      A pragmatist says:

      How big a rope do you have?

      How about paying the public sector more and punishing the private sector more. What is that but slave labour for most people working in the private sector?

      Like

  12. 19
    Cameron's Granny says:

    Pensioners unite against the evil Granny tax!

    Draw out our savings and refuse to give the banks and government any more interest free loans until they restore our pensions!

    Like

    • 22
      the beast of Rillington place says:

      All mine have died and I have spent the cash
      Hi time that you did the same for your grandchildren

      Like

    • 39
      A pragmatist says:

      I’ve just got a 4% ISA with Santander. Bloody foreigners, taking over our companies and paying decent rates.

      Like

  13. 20
    fyi says:

    Patent box was a Labour initiative.

    Like

  14. 21
    the beast of charring cross rd says:

    Just when you thoght that McMental was bad enough along comes Goy George and makes everything worse

    Like

  15. 25
    Jimmy says:

    Looks like spotty undergrads are impressed anyway.

    Like

  16. 26

    |If the Economist is applauding the Budget, you can be sure that George has made a ghastly mistake.

    Like

  17. 27
    CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

    Cameron is doing his best to become a one term Prime Minister. Not only has he let George Osborne piss off half the pensioners of this country but now he has probably lost the support of moderate drinkers. Day by day he seems to be actively alienating what’s left of his supporters.

    This prick seems to be totally oblivious to the evidence that the majority of taxpayers of this country are absolutely sick of being taxed to the eyeballs. Who is going to work harder when they are going to be paying most of their hard earned in taxes to a government that seems to want to spend/waste more than the previous corrupt and incompetent government?

    Both the Tories and LibDems in the cabinet are a bunch of incompetent amateurs, with no apparent vision for the future of this country and who seem to be happy to bumble along in their naive idea of governing.

    When,oh when, are we going to see some Tories with a backbone who will offer a challenge to Cameron for the leadership of the party? My guess is not until he loses the next general election.

    Like

    • 41
      A pragmatist says:

      When most pensioners see their pensions rising by 5% they will think all those knocking the budget were talking bollocks. And maybe they would be right. A clever move by George.

      Like

      • 48
        MandyPickleSniffer says:

        backbone? it seems to me that osborne has actually shown a lot of backbone! Why the heck should one group get a 5% per year increase in their pensions?

        Like

  18. 30
    Scouse drug/arms trafficker says:

    The price of Heroin and Cocaine per kilo will , sadly , rise due to the fluctuating Euro…..scorched tinfoil ,however , will remain stable
    Kit Kats all round

    Like

  19. 31
    Anonymous says:

    As MP’s London Residences were almost certainly purchased using MP’s expenses it is high time they became the property of their constituents and were treated as tied houses.

    Like

  20. 42

    I say the bloated belly of alcohol has been for too long a monlithic burden for this nation to bear. But the answer as it is for everything else in life is simple. Privitise alcohol and the trickle down droppings from the champers swigging millionaires benefiting from this budget will eventually tricke down their cheeks as they pass out into buckets which can be taken with all the other leftovers from the ‘Party For Money Than They’ll Ever Spend In A Million Lifetimes Society’ can be taken to an underpass and for those wrapped in cardboard box anonyymity.

    I say slash tax cuts for the biggest binge drinkers and they won’t avoid paying for their round and slipping out the toilet window whilst leaving the burden with lower income drinkers. I say we end this state owned monoopoly now and bring in more enterprise and competetion into the sector. Only then will we be free of the alcohol terror bludgeoning our nation. PRIVITISATION NOW! NEARRGH! MEURGH!

    Like

  21. 47
    MandyPickleSniffer says:

    and by the way, I’ve had quite enough of this mock outrage & populist sloganeering bollocks about “Granny Tax”. The Labour wankers are trying to create an image of a poor old granny, sitting in a rocking chair doing her knitting after having thrown the last of the family furniture on the fire to warm her poor arthritic joints, whilst some evil Eton-educated cad is stealing money from her purse. What a load of codswalop! The elderly have no childcare to pay for, most have no mortgage & live in a fully-paid for house, they get free bus pass, heating allowance, free prescriptions, they spent their whole lives on free education, enjoyed decades worth of Defined Benefit pensions (which we no longer get), and also had decades worth of 6% compound interest on their savings. They’ve spent decades enjoying the largesse of the wlefare state, and yet god forbid if you should ask them to pay even a minute percentage towards cleaning up Labour’s god-awful mess!
    Contrast that with young kids today who have to pay £9k for their university education, get 0.0001% interest on any savings they have, have a lifetime of children’s bills to pay for, and a lifetime of paying off Gordon fucking Brown’s debt to look forward to….. There are no bloody jobs for them, and the over-inflated houses that the grannies live in are completely out of their budget’s reach. This is one group of “voters” who politicians are always too terrified to offend. Good on Osborne for getting these so-called poor grannies to share in the deficit clean-up. And shame on Labour for spending the last 13 years over-promising so much to so many!

    So can we stop all this whingeing & whining over the poor old Granny? It’s not eve a fucking tax anyway! It’s just simply a freeze on the ridiculously high rate at which their tax free allowance would go up every year…with the idea being that everyone should eventually have a £10K tax free threshold.
    Fucking Labour…sieze on some bullshit detail and blow it all out of proportion. All they ever want to do is kill the rich, kill the rich!

    Like

    • 49

      Oh zip it you namby pamby wet behind the ears commie. Stop sitting on the fence with your leftism ideals. We all know that anyone earning less than £150,000 a year is a blight on society and shoyld be treated with nothing but contempt. They shouldn’t even be allowed to roam the streets as the worthy chosen ones. We should have a system like Dubai where we treat secons class citizens like the vermin they are. No days off and count yourself lucky you’re allowed to breathe the same air you ungrateful oiks.

      The welfare state must be annihilated. Evrything in our economy should be based on the whims and services of the chosen ones as we all know we posess a distinguished gene which makes us worthier than all other forms of humanity.

      As for the eldery what are you talking about sitting on the fence like a dithering Trevor Brooking on valium. Boring. Yawn. The final solution for this poblem is COMPULSORY EXECUTION FOR THE OVER 65’s. Who needs them. Of course we should exempt royals and allow the millionaire ppensioners be. Perhaps give them Eastbourne and a snall village in Dorset but make sure it’s ringfenced with barbed wire and guntowers so we keep the unsightly ghouls out of sight where their monotonous drone won’t disturb my champagne and caviar brunch.

      And while we’re at it how about extraordinary rendition for the poor? Might be tricky because we need a surplas of high unemployment to keep wages low but this could be cured by reucing the minimum wage to a slice of stale bread and 40 lashes of the birch.

      And why are you sticking up for the youth of today? What are you some kind of hippy?
      Bah! Naturally vicious the lot of em. I say bring back nayional service and the draft. Start as many wars as possible and send 12 year olds off to Iran once we get anothr good ol war going. I’m bored and want to see a little more death and destruction. That’ll put hair on the chests of the young tykes. No nukes until it gets boring though. Then we expend all within. Less young people as a burden, less old people and less peasants in the world.

      I’m sick of listening to liver leverd leftists like you brokering the peace. Shame on you. Ebenezer Scrooge had it right. Meargh! Hands off my money I can see you plotting to get your grubby fingers on it! Meurgh!

      Like

      • 50
        MandyPickleSniffer says:

        wow…dude, you need to take your meds.

        and maybe lay off from sniffing model airplane glue as well.

        Like

        • 51

          Shut up you pot smoking, draft dodging Yank. You and your yellow bellied, sing like a canary when captured by the Taliban “Yo dude, like, peace out man”.
          Dude? Dude? This is the British Empire I’ll have you know sonny Jim so none of your lefty, loony liberal, sandal, lentil burger flipping colloqualisms here. This is the realm of her majesty and you shall speak the Queen’s English.
          KILL ALL HIPPIES!

          Like

          • MandyPickleSniffer says:

            49 & 51: Can you actually read & comprehend English?
            You seem a bit unstable & drugged out, so perhaps that is how you take what I’ve written and somehow, in some bizarre way, label me a a Leftie?? What?? Can you pls exaplin to me how you can possibly conclude, from what I’ve written, that I’m a “liver leverd leftist” (sic)? What kind a bloody retard are you?
            If you actually read what I’m saying, I’m attacking Labour and supporting the Tory budget. How does that make me a leftist?? Labour have completely buggered up our economy, and there’s no way anyone is going to escape from the pain….and that includes the molly-coddled old age group who’ve managed to escape from most of the cuts so far.

            And I’m saying that there is no such thing as a Granny Tax, it’s just a phrase conjured up the leftist press to be sensationalist, whereas in reality it’s just simply a freezing of the 5% rate at which their tax free allowance goes up every year. We should ALL have the same £10K tax free allowance. Simple as that.
            And I’m not sticking up for the youth, as such, I’m just saying that the old-aged have had a pretty cushy ride, they get lots of freebies, and have lots of their benefits left untouched whilst all around them every single other group of taxpayers have been nailed. Your hysterical & obnoxious rant makes very little sense.

            And as for Mrs Hargreaves, WTF are you on about? I have worked my arse off for 40 years, paid my taxes in full, never taken any benefits or mooched off the welfare state….and I’ve seen how Labour have completely made a mess of a once-fine country. I was here in 1979, when Michael Foot and his insane lunatics were goading on the Unions, the country was crippled by strikes, and the economy was going down the toilet. I saw how Thatcher put the fighting spirit back into the country & brought the UK back into being a world-class powerhouse. Gordon Brown & his aspiration-killing Socialists have tried their damndest to take the country back to those days again, where people are totally dependant on the State and have abdicated all responsibility to the government. So fuck you with you inheritance comment. I’ve never had anything handed to me, and everything I have I’ve earned through hard work, you pompous arrogant cow. You probably can’t say the same…you sound like some leftie lunatic who feels “entitled” to all kinds of freebies at taxpayer expense.

            Have a great weekend, losers!

            Like

    • 52
      Mrs Hargreaves says:

      And leave their inheritance to pri*ks like you. I bet you gain nicely from the housing boom and grannies thriftiness.

      Ever done a days work? I don’t mean p*ssing about playing games on the office computer. Or are you still at “Uni” (formerly known as college)?

      Like


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Owen Jones says:

We also need Zil lanes.


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