Friday Caption Contest (Second Job Edition)
Whoever can come up with the wittiest conversation for this one will win a copy of “A Walk On Part” – to celebrate the return of the stage adaptation of former Labour MP Chris Mullin’s diaries.
Good luck…
How Mervyn King Lost Bank Battle War | WSJ
BBC Corporation Tax Horror Story | IEA
Sally Bercow Judgement in Full | Mr Justice Tugendhat
Commies Blame Capitalism For Terror Attack | The Commentator
Lord Black v Press Regulation | Guardian
Osborne’s Complacency | FT
DWP’s Welfare Failings | Isabel Hardman
Get Used to Coalitions | David Aaronovitch
Woolwich a Showcase in the Banality of Evil | Fraser Nelson
The Enemy Within | Max Hastings
Muslim Led Military-Style Free School Needed | Toby Young
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Ed Balls stretches credulity by claiming he isn’t ambitious…
“I would love to be part of Ed’s Labour government but what I do next for me is not an all-consuming passion. I’m more bothered, in a personal sense, about getting to grade 8 piano by the time I’m 50.”
Bill Quango MP says:
Ned Flanders – Clegg
Lisa Simpson – Natalie Bennett
Milhouse – Hilary Benn
Martin Prince – Andy Burnham
Edna Krabappel – Luciana Berger
Crazy Cat Lady – Glenda jackson
Comic book guy – John Prescott
Carl – Chucka
Lenny – Philip Hammond
Willie – Eric joyce
Poochie – Gordon Brown
Reverend Lovejoy – Tony Blair
“Two painkillers, the wound in my back has not healed yet”
“Britians entry for Eurovision unveiled”
I’m glad you have taken the work experience job at the Foreign Office. Although, I understand, the present incumbent likes boys.
“Oh well my brother started off as the labour tea boy, and now look at him”
Seedless and bitter meets clueless no titter
I don’t fance yours much
The comment at the bottom of this blog does not apply to me when I do not post using my banned monkier but post using one of my amusing monkiers
http://order-order.com/2011/02/09/comment-of-the-day/#comments
Dave enjoys a cuppa after giving the orders that kill a British and an Italian hostage.
Oops, my bad. wrong Dave.
Your “bad” what? A brit wood of used english.
The young lady appears to be wearing a tea towel on her head, is this a fashion statement I missed?
Have you tried “Mili” brand? It’s a family firm from Islington I believe…..
I,m your new tax adviser representing Dave, Tony. ken and Peter all partners in the
hypocritical socialist accountancy company.
“Guess where I’ve hidden the banana”
“Can I pour it all over your tits?”
Girl: I think you have brewed-it long enough
DM: Brooded??!!! of course I have , bloody unions!
You could never call the one holding the tea a useless teapot.
“That’s great, guys, now let’s try it with the monkey costumes.”
David Miliband in his new role of Sir Hallam in Upstairs Downstairs shows the plebs how it’s done.
Banana tea anyone?
“Ed cant decide if he wants one lump or two”
“I’ll stir.”
*** applauds ***
Winner.
Miliband shows Joyce how it’s done.
At last a photo of the mad hatter without his hat on!
This tea is as weak as piss.
Just like Labour’s policies.
If it’s that weak he’s pouring hot air
The picture below,
I thought he was told to stay out of places like that
Has someone snapped Eric back in the strangers again
I’m sorry Ms Bachman but you seem to have misunderstood the concept of a British tea party!
David Pour, Ed Poor.
Sore loser takes on his workfare placement, while cursing his brother.
“Welcome to the chimpanzee’s tea party madam”
av u voo un cuppa
*More tea Gromit”
My brother is one of these but made in chocolate
What Banana ?
Bearing in mind that the young lady looks to be wearing 1940′s dress for some reason, I’m surprised that no-one has yet to use the old song title:
“Yes, we have no bananas”
You’d think after the banana incident he would have learned his lesson by now. However this photo obviously proves the old adage that you can’t educate pork.
My brother endorses the chocolate edition
As much use as a chocolate teapot
Finally, David Miliband gets a job in the real world.
*This tea is so a-peel-ing”
David Milibands’ tea party movement isn’t quite what the elctorate were expecting
my name is eric joyce darling how old are you
“I’m a little teapot, short and stout,”
Children’s theatre was the only option after his brother ended his political career with a lethal thrust of union collective voting
Look look everybody…Today I’m with a poor person…I’m really one of you peasants….really…
Sirrah! I have NEVER been accused of moderation before!
“New intern arrives in the Guy news room”
‘I’m a little wonk-ponce, short and stout, union block votes, that’s me out’.
I’m a tea-boy now. Ed will never reach this career height.
Miliband.Urchin to the left.
Miliband works to keep Unions on side
“My recent decision to found and run the UK branch of the Tea Party is in no way an attack on my brother’s leadership”
In my day tea & crumpet ment something else
Poring tea isn’t the only thing I’m poor at!
Speling is the uther.
Well spotted clever dick!
Well clever, spotted dick!
‘Would you like a banana with the teabag?’
One banana, two banana, three banana, pour
Are you planning your very own Mad Hatter Tea Party with your friends? Celebrating your Unbirthday? Or are you having a croquet game in your backyard?
On this page you can find many ideas about how to decorate your Alice in Wonderland theme party, what to eat and drink, and what games to play with your guests.
Watch out for the banana, Gladys..
“ooh, just how I like my men, weak and wet..”
brilliant
Tip me up and hear me spout!
Like it
“Booby prize winner gets to see waxaork of Miliband”
Where’s Dave?
“I can dodge a launched tea cup faster than you say judas”
M & M’s Cafe – they finally found their niche.
Politician pours boiling water over pain deniers hands.
Miliband straining to be taken seriously
Time for a nice coup d’état…
Have a cup of tea bro, that nasty nose swelling will go down soon.
Miliband Senior tries out for role of replacement Butler in Series 3 of Downton Abbey but Lady Mary seems less than impressed at his pouring technique
Have you got your bonnet on correctly?
My father had the same problem with condoms.
“After another round of plastic surgey Ed goes for his latest relaunch”
One lump or two?
Christ! Has Eric Joyce arrived?
He couldn’t organise a brew-up in a patisserie.
Eagle!
Oh God, not those two old boilers!
British Home Stores’ new ‘Face of Chinaware’ unveiled.
Nah its no use, I’m not bothering. I can’t help thinking of clare grogan for some reason. but then, thats been a problem most of my life.
I’m lying, it’s never been a problem.
Dave: “I hereby name this tea the Miliband Brothers’ Blend, as it embodies our relationship: warm, strong and robust.”
Woman: “So not because it’s strained, then…”
I am more im por tant that you but my brother is more important than me. for the moment
The Milibands.
P G Tits
Nice one BQMP
No, no, no Mr Miliband, you’re going too far, too fast.
”Would you like a banana with that dear?”
“May I assist you to a cup of Lapsang Souchong, Madam?”
“Gor blimey luv, a proper socialist’d pour it strite inter the saucer!”
Jack played by David Miliband experiences complete ego collapse as Tyler Durden Brown recieves a knock out blow from Marla Singer alter ego of David Cameron.
So you haven’t had a job for over a year and have refused a number of offers, you have no experience in the catering industry but you managed to hold down a job a few years back in a company which has now folded. We’ll let you know, love, but don’t hold your breath.
Yes Eric this is what I meant by a drink. Where are you going?
Waitress: ‘How would you like your tea ‘?
Miinbanana: ‘Lukewarm, weak and insipid – just like my brother’.
“Commons Workfare candidate fits right in”
David is saying “Half time cuppa for Sunderland FC players, poor Guido hasn’t been taking the mickey out of our club recently …we can only wonder why, Cameron, The Jonahs, Villa aren’t doing to well”
milliband celebrates after finally finding his level in life, that of tea boy
One click away from that. In the middle of this there’s a bit of everyone’s favourite.
‘Trouser leg differential.’ Priceless.
He was a crap chancellor a crap prime minister why on earth did he think he would be any good at boxing!
Tea first, dear, then you’re getting my banana the way Hillary likes it. Woof! Woof!
Ooh, look at me, I’m a Tea. W. A. T.
Iranian fallout head piece launched: Iodine tablets dissolved in Lapsang souchong
“David Miliband hires an unpaid intern to test his tea for poison.”
PG Tips decides to replace johnny Vegas with an attractive woman but “Monkeh” remains.
He should be prime minister.
Chimp auditions for Typhoo advert.
“Shall I be Harriet?”
Ker-ching.
Another £50,000
“Some of us are born to lead, but anyone can emit warm fluid into a female’s receptacle, Ed.”
Unite Pilgrim prepares to spit in Dave’s cuppa.
That’s the last time I go drinking with Eric Joyce.
Just how did Conservative blogger Guido Fawkes manage to keep secret the cozy relationship between Cameron ( SAS hardman ) and Charlie Brookes quiet for sooooo long
I promised her a job if she took a photo with me while wearing an old pair of Chris Bryant’s underpants.
Feel free to spit in this one Luv, It’s for my brother
good one
The waitress was a lady fallen on hard times, and felt demeaned by serving tea to an oik with both of his jacket buttons done up.
PG Tip, don’t get served tea by a Labour chump.
The names Bond- Brooke Bond. What do you mean “are ya fa coffee?
Badly dressed simpleton accepts poisoned chalice.
tea darling,
no I am not Alistair, but thank you ed Miliband
no I am not ed, I am David
so who is ed?
Well Mr Milky, if you pour me a cuppa, I will give you the tea towel off my head!
With your feet in the air, and your head on the ground, try this trick and spin it … Yeah!
Buttons – One lump or two?
Cinderella – Cheeky!
Buttons – I like milky white ones.
Cinderella Ohh err.
Buttons -When i look down I can see your squeezed middle. Want to see the size of my membership?
Cinderella – No. I’ve heard you’re too deep and too fast. And you’re a predator!
Labour leadership pantomime rumbles on.
Never play cards with a man named Doc.
Never eat at a place called “Mom’s.”
Never have sex with anyone crazier than you are.
That’s two he’s ignored…
“Don’t worry about looking a bit of a chump, I never did and now I can earn four times what my top banana brother does”
“One lump or the two of you millibands to lead sir?”
“Hattie, are you sure that this is how artificial insemination works?”
Alice felt she was in the wrong story, as this Mad Hater looked nothing like Johnny Depp, however the Queen must be near as someone was shouting ” Off with his Head ” and for once she agreed.
Pam was enjoying her afternoon with David, when her friends reminded her she was in Madame Tussards
Don’t get excited, dear, you only get an Oooo with Typhoo
You pour if you want to, the Lady is not for pouring
“There you go love, that will be three and a half grand”.
” I love mugs, they keep paying me heaps of money and voting for me”
Aye up, David, Ahm sorry about my pidgeons.
Eric Joyce came in the other day and demanded a pint of Tetley
“Perverts’ brother shows young woman his spout”
Miliband minor puts his teabagging tips from Gordon to good use.
Eric Joyce set to stay on until 2015 and then pocket £65k on exit.
Winner!
“A working class person…nice to meet you Miss Krakovizky”
you only get a joo with ty-phoo
sorry, couldn’t resist that one
Pot calling kettle Earl Grey.
No I don’t get it either.
BREAKING NEWS
Cafe owner joins Government Workfair program to get another sponging lazy bastard back to work.
Ah go on Mr Miliband! Have a Jaffa with your nice cup of tea. See that’s what happens to Brown for refusing. Go on! Go on! Go on!
Fairy cake then?
‘I have four votes for the next leadership contest’
‘I have always been a big fan of International Women’s Day.’
When you said you were getting the pot I thought you meant cannabis, you dickhead.
Bland of Brothers
Girl: ‘He just can’t seem to get the spout into the cup. I suppose that’s why he had to adopt.’
Not an entry. A query.
But what is the context for this ludicrous snap? What was Mili Major promoting? Why would anyone pose for such a photograph? Has the world gone mad? Is there any photo-opportunity off limits to the aspiring public speaker/money-grabber?
Just like William Hague you can’t beat a good tea bagging.
No. I don’t really mind being mistaken for Jedwood.
It’s being mistaken for Ed that pisses me off.
David: Redbush?
Woman: No, you’re confusing me with Hazel Blears.
A man playing mummy? That is a woman’s job!
The only one that benefits society is the teapot
“Boris used to come in ‘ere. Do you ever see him? I heard he got elected Mayor.”
“Shut up you bitch or I’ll pour this tea down your frock”.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtWAC5HJsKs&w=420&h=315%5D
Another mug!
Do you want some cake with that? I’ve got a lovely banana loaf.
I’ll be Mother – ‘cos I ain’t gonna be brother anymore.
“Let me get out my other spout for the milk”
But Daddy told me that all proper tea was theft…
David: I’m good at serving tea, so I’ll probably be waiting for a few more years.
Bravo!!!!
Is this a banana in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?
I’m a Labour Party Member, we do not do stir.
‘ Dave, are you sure this gender re-assignment will improve my image’
Who do I make the invoice out to my dear, dont forget there 10% of if paid within 7 days.
DM: “See, I can do this!!”
Photographer: “No, no, it was a piss up in a brewery …!”
” How things change, now Ed’s PM and I’m just the pour relation !”
THINKS: “I will give her my banana later. Wonder if she is skins or no skins kind of a girl?”
Four skins for me every time.
Can you believe I am having to hold the cup and saucer for him because he can’t hold them and pour the tea at the same time. He says he never learnt how to use both hands together, and now it’s just too much for him.
He says he will have a go at it on his own tomorrow.
Dave begins his pot tea training.
labour leader in waiting learning how to pour tea.
” More tea Vicar ” ?
We welcome this pair of fraudsters with open arms at a cost of 10trillion of taxpayers money.
Tea poured, now all I need to do is put a bun in her oven and job done!
I’ve got a throat like Ghandi’s flip flop
Nobody is gonna get a drink out of that, methinks it’s just a pretend tea set.
Ed Miliband makes cafe visit
So you wannah me to make caption eh??
I give you caption ” Eees — ‘ow you sayah — ineeespleecable , that Cameron did not ask our help in Nigeria .
Yes – we still ‘ave not updated our WW2 tanks weeth the five reverse gears and our planes still rely on reverse thrust .
We may not be the most reliable battlefield ally .
But ‘ere again we alwaysah whip your arse at football !!
Porca miseria !!
I’m not Camerons greatest fan, but at least he had the balls to authorise the rescue and risk the political backlash if it went wrong. When we located our hostages in Iraq Brown wouldn’t authorise a rescue mission in cas it failed and he got a load of bad publicity. The hostages died anyway, and we still haven’t got their bodies back.
What Gutless Gordon failed to realise is that the British public will not blame a Prime Minister for doing the right thing in these circumstances, even if it goes badly wrong. Ultimately it is because we know that if it was us there then our government will send in the troops to rescue us.
Gordon broke trust with the British people when he failed to authorise the Iraq rescue mission whereas Dave didn’t break trust, even though the Nigeria mission failed.
Perhaps what we all thought at the time might be true, Gordon obviously has a large bit of Italian in him.
I’ll pour – people always tell me I should be mum
Photographic evidence that a chocolate teapot can pour a cup of tea.
Chimp advert returns.
I’m a Little Teapot Short and Stout…..
Imagine a caption competition showing a polititian eating pe@s with a knife!
Mod
Mod
Mod
‘Fancy a cream pie?’
David Miliband pictured prior to his prosecution by Health and Safety Executive for not possessing a Food Hygiene Certificate.
I’m a little teapot, short and stout
Tip me up and pour me out
Cup of Russian Tea for Ed you see
Glows in the dark now, tee hee hee
Miliband: “Can I offer you something like Earl Grey?”
Wioman: “I doubt it. Earl Grey achieved things in his political career.”
“My spout dribbles a bit but don’t worry, it won’t do you any harm”.
Woman: “Twinings again?”
Miliband: “No, I’m over it all now.”
Miliband: “You’re not allowed to use chimps in adverts anymore”.
Woman: “No, only their brothers…”
After his election to the leadership of the labour party Mr Milliband achieved another promotion- says the BBC
Which one are you again? Tweedledum or Tweedledee?
Tweedledumber?
Dave… Your hand is reting on my boob
You hum it and I’ll sing it
At last Typhoo find a replacement to Frankie Howerd.
(2009) New Labour David Miliband M.P. -PARASITE AND SUPPORTER OF TERRORISM: http://eotp.org/2009/05/17/2009-new-labour-david-miliband-m-p-parsite/
vote labour and we promise to make everybody poor!
Vote labour and we promise to make everybody poor
I’ll fill you till you overflow.
After the whole banana debacle, I was expecting to be pouring tea out of a chocolate tea pot as a metaphor for the usefullness of Labours manifesto under my dear brother
PG Tip’s reveal their new chimp !
I’ve not had a decent cup of tea in 18 months
since the last time i visited Westminster
“At least my spout is bigger than Ed’s.”
Him: I always said Yvette was a scrubber
Her: I always said you’d make a good teaboy.
So which one are you, Ant or Dec?
Keep smiling and pretend you know me; while I try and find my work permit!
Oddly enough the teapot also had a chip on its shoulder.
Nice one WW!
I’ve just told him if he spills any of this hot tea on me I will kick him right where a monkey shoves it nuts.
No ! I’ve not had one mouthfull since i was “Teabagged” by the unions
Was that Mr. Livingstone I saw stirring the pot?
Miss South Shields,Lydia.T.Pot,welcomes local M.P to new single mothers cafe,Stranger’s.
Ahh..so you are what we called working class. And this is tea is it? interesting. Much prefer Champagne myself. Can I squeeze you in the middle. Does this little establishment need an Executive Director – I’m only looking for £100k and you will see me once a month. Could I have a banana to go with this please…………
“Take this over to Mr.Hancock…he ordered tea & crumpet”
If you think this teapot is big you should see the size of my banana!”
It’s not a hat dummy, it’s a bandage. I went for a drink with Eric Joyce last night . . .
I’ll pour Mum, then I must lie down till help arrives.
Flower pot man charms the tea lady with his wit and stories of foreign adventures.
“Back to the wall just in case NearlyDeadEd is around”
Hunt pours tea
‘Pouring cups of tea could well become my life style!’
‘Watch out and pour in the cup son, not over me hand.’
DM: One lump or two?
Lady: Why, is Ed here as well?
The Peter Mandelson version…
I’m a little teapot
Sort and stout
Here’s my handle
Here’s my spout
When I see some money
Hear me shout
Suck me off
And lick me out
You may be a “Virginia ” — but with a mouth like that you’re no Lady !!
( Ever thought of coming to work in my “house”? ).
Thanks for making this viral but please acknowledge that this image was from The White Ribbon Alliance Mums Café to stop 1,000 women a day dying in childbirth at Parliament on #IWD2012
Thanks!
They should really be in hospital. Parliament has no proper medical facilities.
Quite right.
http://www.whiteribbonalliance.org/
My comment was in reply to Jenny.
Part-time MP: You can’t touch me I am an MP. I could smash this teapot over your head and punch you in the face but I’d walk out of court with no jail time. So just watch it.
Oooo…….. that’s that nice Mr Ed Milliband to a Tee
A chocolate tea pot in action.
More Brooke Bond than James Bond at Mum’s (net) cafe.
Miliband Major giving it the natural touch with the bird who crapped in Little Ed’s hair.
“I’ll be Brother”
“Hey Dave…champagne doesn’t come from a teapot”
David: Et tu Brute.
Pam: If that means “did I put the arsenic in Ed’s cup” the answer is, yes.
“This is me pouring tea at Pam’s Cafe. You see, I do have experience outside politics”.
Your a Hunt and I don’t want any of your tea!
Oy, laughing boy! If you scald my tits you’ll be using this cup to carry your knackers home.
You’ll have to use the teaspoon yourself, I never stir see…
Blatant Fraudster of the public purse
pops into Westminster for his Annual visit
I take it hot and strong. Where’s the Balls?
Reduced to pouring tea for Paris Hilton
Look, I know I’m not everyones cup of tea, but…
What kind of tea?
Seeyouen tea of course!
Since I’m not allowed to be The Leader, I’d better be mother
Is this a real job? Can I call myself working class now?
Shall I be Mother?
Too late. Her younger son has already got your birthright.
Look where you are pouring that tea, big ears!
What? No Banana?
“Pleased with yourself are you Mr Miliband, I made your banana stand proud.”
My cup satiateth, not.
Oh Brother, wherefore art thou?
”Tea a drink with jam and bread…that will bring us back to DOH! DOH! Doh!
Oh David dear, you’ve got that Hornimans’ look on your face again!
March Hare: Ah, you mean you can’t very well take less.
Mad Hatter: Yes. You can always take more than nothing.
De caf for me.. I am a communist you see…all “proper tea” is theft..
Excellent !! .
Without peer .
I duly confer on you this week’s prize
— a masterclass with Guido on the dark arts of moderation.
Him : God Save the Queen
Her : Not that fascist regime !!