February 5th, 2012

Life on Benefits: Doreen’s Story


198 Comments

  1. 1
    Passer by says:

    But Labour say 26k is poverty?

  2. 2
    mv says:

    The accent is spot-on.

  3. 3
    Bullingdon Unlimited says:

    Knew you were low, but your a very sad man, hope Leveson shows you for what you are.

  4. 4
    Traian Basescu says:

    Gizza job I can do that

  5. 5
    Fony Blair says:

    Give that woman an Oscar!

  6. 6
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    That’s OK BU – we already know what you are.

  7. 7
    Scott says:

    BU

    I understand this site has a very good refund policy, am sure Guido will inform you of the terms.

  8. 8
    Grommit says:

    All that was missing was chainsmoking while supping a can of wifebeater.

  9. 9
    Constipated says:

    Spoof. As real as the poo I can’t do.

  10. 10
    ❤Tyreequa Chardonnay❤ O'Slater says:

    Mum?

  11. 11
    annette curton says:

    That’s at least the fourth time that links been posted today, Spoof, amazed that anybody would think it was genuine and not the big send up it is, like the Staffordshire accent though.

  12. 12
    ToonBob... says:

    Lazy Cow !!

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    Good stuff

  14. 14

    Dont be silly, if it was`nt for people like her, we would`nt have a business.

  15. 15
    Anonymous says:

    thats the labour party for you spend spend spend, thats how they get in to number 10. about time someone capped benifits, 26k isn’t poverty it’s more than enough, i have a good job and i’m on 14k a year and i get by. labour screwed this country over big style always takes a tory to sort it out

  16. 16
  17. 17
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    A 50″ inch plasma in the background wouldn’t have hurt either…

  18. 18
    Shit happens says:

    Was that Party Political Broadcast by the Layabout Party

    At least she will get a Golden Globe for that performance perhaps be the opening act at the party conference.

    They pay the Sky bill hahahaha exhausted taking a cheque out the envelope

    that was the best bit

  19. 19
    Shit happens says:

    I know its a spoof and very good.

  20. 20
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    Be interesting when we do get a Conservative government then.

  21. 21
    no more pampering any more says:

    The benefits allowed shouldnt even reach minimum wage levels, never mind £26000.

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    ROTFL!

  23. 23
    Benny Fitt says:

    In my home town they refer to your august company as Giro Foods. Just thought you might like to know.

  24. 24
    they cannot prove you haven't got a bad back says:

    I want to see the bumper de-luxe version of this, you know, the one with the Asian guy with three wives and 15 kids all on benefits.

  25. 25
    Just Another City Rent Seeker says:

    She’s got two: Supporting, for Kramer v. Kramer, and Starring, for Sophie’s Choice.
    Now where’s my feckin’ 5 quid from the last thread?

  26. 26
    friendly printer says:

    Nothing is unaffordable, when you run out of money, you just print more.

  27. 27
    ToonBob... says:

    A spoof ?? really ??

  28. 28
    over qualified and over here says:

    This bloke just pumps out degrees and kids. Amazing what you can do with all that time on your hands.

  29. 29

    May i interest you in a loyalty card?

  30. 30
    Gripper Stebson says:

    The Daughter of New Labour. Tony and Gordon take a bow. Funny as you like though,spoof or not

  31. 31
    Well it's a thought says:

    Lol, claps loudly, am a lazy cow. cracking.

  32. 32
    Muggins says:

    That is a good £2K more than my son earns GROSS, and he has a wife, children and mortgage!!! But because he works no one speaks up for him to say he is deprived or in poverty. Oh no, his duty is to pay for the feckless scum and anyone from the world who want to live off his back. Clearly he would be better off on benefits!!!
    What a squalid, disgusting country this has become. It is certainly not fit for purpose if you are a responsible citizen.

  33. 33
    a LYING, CHEATING, TWO-FACED BULLYING COWARD + SNOT NOSE says:

    Ah’ lifted 67,000 million UK children oot o’ abject poverty last month aloon.

    It wa’ tha’ rict thang tae do!

  34. 34
    Bystander #4 says:

    Charles, – not in our lifetimes.

  35. 35
    Graniud Reader says:

    My heart bleeds for poor Doreen. Another victim of the rich toff fascist scum in the Tory party, no doubt destined for Cameron’s gas chambers in the very near future.

  36. 36
    AC1 says:

    Wealth however…

  37. 37
    ❤Tyreequa Chardonnay❤ O'Slater says:

    Dad?

  38. 38
    Donna in Sussex says:

    Funny, granted, but a bit low. People on benefits are making a logical economic decision – they’re better paid staying at home. If my only job options were Tescos or motherhood, I know which I’d choose.

  39. 39
    The last Quango in Paris says:

    Excellent. “who’s gonna pay for that?” – brilliant ! Too near the bone sadly.

  40. 40
    Confused Canadian dropping by says:

    I found I could not understand about 20% of what she said. I did not catch the name of her illness, and I tried twice. I could understand her when she spoke slowly.

  41. 41
    UB40 says:

    It’s my hooooooman rights to claim my bennies, I love my fuckin’ bennies me!

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    Absolutely brilliant Guido !!

    Love the “Mastermind” book .

    Love the accent – even better than scouse .

    Love the “loads of drugs” – “shoplifting” – eldest daughter’s 5 kids –
    and as for the youngest daughter (tangerine ?) ….

    Sky – two weeks in Barbados !

    This is the best laugh I have had in years .

    Well actually it ain’t funny at all –

    Because it is true .

    And my taxes are paying for this .

  43. 43
    Canny Shoppers Shop Around says:

    Can you bring back the four tins of tomatoes for a pound offer please. At 39p each they are even more expensive than Sainsbury’s.

  44. 44
    ❤Tyreequa Chardonnay❤ O'Slater says:

    Sis?

  45. 45
    AC1 says:

    Truth a bit too close for your comfort?

    Get out of other peoples wallet.

  46. 46
    Gripper Stebson says:

    Bury that Doushe Bag up top his neck in sand and then we can all throw stones at him, thats the favoured punishment for his religion isnt it?

  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    That’s what we’re saying luv, they should change the system so you’re better off working at Tescos. Not rocket science is it?

  48. 48
    Jimmy says:

    Rich and Mark don’t do sketches, but if they did…

  49. 49
    Sigmund Freud says:

    Its odd the way it is always the Fabian fellow travellers who bring up gas chambers as a solution to issues instead of things like working hard, saving money etc.

  50. 50
    Jo Brand says:

    Whilst true that would be labelled racist with shouts of NAZI scum so a white chavy single mother Englander it is, as you can’t be racist about whitey.

  51. 51
    Lobster Throttler says:

    You mean the one where the thousands of inbred imbeciles all have their very own wheelchair and motability car and 40 thousand quid in benefits because the parents marry and fuck their first cousins just like their parents did and the grand parents did and produce mental and physical retards and the stupid fucking gutless politicians let the m get away with self inflicted damage because they are gutless fucking cock sucking P*** Cocksucking pricks.

  52. 52
    Carrina Trimingham, rug muncher says:

    And being pregnant, covered in pizza stains and with a beard and blackened teeth

  53. 53
    Trevor Phillips says:

    I like the cut of your jib, ever thought about a career in a pointless government funded quango?

  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    ……it would be nothing this. You gotta admit the line about heroin and crack…….”if yer off yer ed it takes yer mind off it”, must have some resonance for you Jimmy.

  55. 55
    Happy Slapper says:

    But they do do sketches! There just shite rather like your moronic comments Jimmy.

  56. 56
    Anonymouse says:

    I’malazycow

  57. 57
    tats dealer says:

    Too right, you can only really afford heroin, ecstasy and crack if you’re on the social.

  58. 58
    Rocket Scientist says:

    Good point.

  59. 59
    Herman van Rompuy says:

    indeed it is and if they try and stop them you just let me know.

  60. 60
    WVM says:

    When did it change from baby eating to gas chambers?

  61. 61
    Benny Fitz-Clements says:

    Auntie Doreen.

  62. 62
    Lovely humanity and all that... says:

    .
    .
    Apparently 1 kidney would do.
    Donate the other and save the NHS £460m.

  63. 63
    michael says:

    i could not understand a word …sub titles would have helped

  64. 64
    Think Tank Running On Empty says:

    The Guardian is a ‘progressive’ paper and is ever willing to think up of new ways of slandering people who don’t agree with it

  65. 65
    Anonymous says:

    Of course ‘progressive’ means ever more ingenious ways to part net producers of real wealth from their money.

  66. 66
    Benny Fitz-Clements says:

    We are very, very grateful to Tony B£iar, Gormless Gordon, Red Ed and charmless Ed Balls for succeeding in ensuring that we are firmly trapped on benefits, utterly dependent of Welfare.

    For example, did you know that benefit payments to single mothers rose by 85% during The Reign of Terror 1997-2010 ? No? Check it out here:-

    http://tgr.ph/qhbANL

    Is that how Liebour kept getting re-elected ? Creating a client state and frequently topping up their bribes free money ?

  67. 67
    Joss Taskin says:

    Can’t he claim Disability Living Allowance for the strain of carrying around those chips on his shoulders ?

  68. 68

    Yeah that’s the one… of many thousands.

  69. 69
    Confused Canadian dropping by says:

    Are you from North America? I had trouble too, but I could understand parts of it.

  70. 70
    Crocodile Shoes says:

    I wondered what Jimmy Nail was doing these days!

  71. 71
    Confused Canadian dropping by says:

    I AM confused. Not until reading the comments did I realize it was a spoof. Sub-titles so North Americans can catch all the jokes?

  72. 72
    ❤Tyreequa Chardonnay❤ O'Slater says:

    Bruv?

  73. 73
    Benny Fitt says:

    You are Sir Mervyn King (aka Penfold) and I claim my free five pounds, better yet can you make it fifty? Of course you can!

  74. 74
    Benny Fitt says:

    That’s very generous of you. Almost enough to make me stop shopping at Lidl. I’ll have a think about it…

  75. 75
    can we have our country back.... says:

  76. 76
    Tachybaptus says:

    Be kind to poor Jimmy. He’s looking at something his own party created. The dog looks on his turd and says, It is good.

  77. 77
    Tachybaptus says:

    Bе kіnd tо рооr Јіmmу. Hе’s lооkіng аt sоmеthіng hіs оwn раrtу сrеаtеd. Τhе dоg lооks оn hіs turd аnd sауs, Іt іs gооd.

  78. 78
    Ruffy The Dog says:

    That is most unfair!!!

    Please leave the reality based community immediately!

    We must continue to pretend that our taxes are being spent sensibly on welfare.

  79. 79
    The Reaper says:

    Gas chambers are well tried national socialist bits of kit.

  80. 80
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t worry mate, most of us in the UK don’t understand that lot either.

  81. 81
    mv says:

    She’s an actress from an area in the Midlands called the Black Country. She works at Blists Hill Museum near Telford. They have a ‘Victorian Town’ made up of historical buildings which have been ‘moved’ there to show what the area looked like in the past.

  82. 82
    BOB coCROWch says:

    I live in a cahncil ahse. It ain’t nuffin like that.

  83. 83
    The Reaper says:

    I’d have said the accent was more West Midlands than Stafford, but the words are valid anywhere in Britain.

    Many of us know families (if you can call them that) who are enjoying a good life style (holidays usually taken in Florida) all on the Bennies.

    ‘Cause once you’re on the Bennies you don’t need to pay for anything, ever again. Everything’s found courtesy of the rest who actually try working for a living.

    And you’d have to be a complete mug to ever to want to work again, cos you’d need a job paying well over the average wage, about £40k before tax, before you could even replace your tax free Bennie income.

  84. 84

    What do you mean, she`s never off the BBC.

  85. 85
    East India Company wallah says:

    Ruffy,as God is my witness,a fifteen year old in Oldbury in the Black Country told me in 1996 that her ambition in life was to get a council house next her mams. Sadly by now she probably has!”

  86. 86
    The Reaper says:

    Don’t forget that’s £26K after tax. You’d have to earn at least £40k before tax to nett £26K, and currently there is no cap, so they can be receiving £100k and more.

    Those the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad.

  87. 87
    Anonymous says:

    And the thing about having five kids with five different fathers is not an exaggeration, I know of several cases in my local area. It would be funny if it wasn’t my fucking tax money subsidising these losers.

  88. 88
    Handycock No1 Trougher in Parliament says:

    This poor man is doing his best. It is not his fault he cannot get a job, The reason he has 11 children, is not because he is workshy and it increases his benefits, but because Islam does not allow birth control. I will be circulating this comment amongst my many Asian constituents, all of whom vote for me.

  89. 89

    Of course he can, all he needs to do is move up to Glasgow. England 13 Scotland 6

  90. 90
    Displaced Brummie says:

    It IS West Midland. Black Country, heading from West Bromwich to Smethwick, by the sound of it.

    Like all good parodies there’s more of an element of truth in this.

  91. 91

    It does`nt allow birth control for WOMEN.

  92. 92
    Lord Beveridge says:

    The well known scam is 8 or 9 children, all with different Fathers, as they worked out long ago, this is the optimum number of kids to optimise benefits.

  93. 93
  94. 94
    The Reaper says:

    As £26k is the average wage, half the nation must be living in poverty.

    Nevermind, once Mervyn gets the presses rolling again we’ll all be rich.

    Just need another wheelbarrow for the cash machine.

    Maybe one of Herr Merkel’s ubermenschen could bring some sanity to our benighted nation.

  95. 95
    Displaced Brummie says:

    If you do get the chance to see any of Gill Jordan’s other work or the work of David Tristram, do so. You’ll be in for a real treat. (Inspector Drake and the Time Machine, for example.)

  96. 96
    Brandon says:

    zat you sis, innit?

  97. 97
    Displaced Brummie says:

    This was written and performed by some of the Midland’s top acting and writing talent.

  98. 98
    Anonymous says:

    It sickens me that I pay towards the wages of that fat slag, Jeremy Hardy, Lenny Henry and Marcus fuckface Brigstock, on threat of going to prison if I don’t cough up.

  99. 99
    Displaced Brummie says:

    A spoof? No Shit, Sherlock!!!

  100. 100
    Oasis singer is a born again Thatcherite says:

    It’s quite remarkable how much of a conservative Gallagher’s become. In the interview he says there was a work ethic under Thatcher and that great art was made during those years. He attacks Labour and says kids now just want to be on TV. He also lays into the rioters and says it all began because a drug dealer got shot. I’ll be amazed if he isn’t condemned by other musicians for his comments!

  101. 101
    jabbathecat says:

    That be wasn’t and wouldn’t you illiterate mong…

  102. 102
    Anonymous says:

    i think her sister and brother in law are on the catherine tate show

  103. 103
    Tessa Tickles says:

    EICW – I’ve got a cousin with three kids, each kid by a different father, each father (names unknown) was bonked behind a nightclub for two reasons: 1. cousin gets pregnant, 2. cousin gets a bigger council flat.

    It worked. Kerrching.

    Fucking Labour-voting chav scum.

  104. 104
    Well it's a thought says:

    In a few years the government will have to make DNA testing mandatory for people want to marry or live together, it’s also going to be a fun time for genealogists in a hundred years working out who belongs to which family.

  105. 105
    Anonymous says:

    You’ve got to hand it to him, he’s either very brave or just stupid to put his head over the parapet. The left will try to crucify him now.

  106. 106
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Oh, god. Cue aged non-entitiy Billy Brag writing some tuneless bollocks about miners.

  107. 107
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Jesus fucking wept – modded for some reason.

    Let’s try again. Christ of a fucking bike.

    “Oh, god. Cu*e aged non-enti*tiy Bi*ll*y Br*ag writing some tu*neless bo*llocks about mi*ners.”

    Liber*tarian blog my a*rse.

    And with that I bid you all farewell.

  108. 108
    jabbathecat says:

    Give him a tube of KY jelly, a beer barrel and instructions about African contraception in twelve dialects, job done…

  109. 109
    Realist says:

    These people get a wake-up call when the kids flee the nest (to get their own flat & benefits) – all of a sudden Mummy is on her own with only Income Support to keep her company; no man, no DLA, no Tax credit and no money for batteries either.

  110. 110
    Anonymous says:

    Perhaps there’s a groundswell of a popular movement beginning here. You would never in a million years see a video like the above on the BBC, fuck no, they know which side their bread is buttered. It makes them spit blood that they can’t control the internet, so more of this please, and more high profile, closet Tories coming out, sick to death of our ‘something for nothing’ society.

  111. 111
    the big break says:

    I’ll get right on to that David

  112. 112
    Oasis singer is a born again Thatcherite says:

    Well, Tracy Emin announced she’s a Tory not long ago and she said she’s been made to feel a pariah by some artists. One artist called her decision to vote Conservative criminal.

  113. 113
    Anonymous says:

    Yeah, spiteful little shits the left, aren’t they?

  114. 114
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    26K won’t even get you a decent plasma TV and a cellar of wine these days.

  115. 115
    Liam Byne MP says:

    We spent all your money buying votes to get elected three times, I get a cracking pension now as an ex minister and my mates Tony Blair and Gordon Brown are coining it in telling everyone how it’s done.

  116. 116
    Tory deaths though do not make me sad. says:

  117. 117
    Margaret Moran says:

    I love Labour politics too Sarah.

  118. 118
    Mrs. Ball-Scooper ( triple flipper ) says:

    Who is this genius ?


  119. 119
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    I used to work in Walsall and met people like this every day. Incredibly spot-on performance.

    Actually made me miss it a bit!

  120. 120
    End of boom and bus, cradle to grave security says:

    Wealth forever !

  121. 121
    Lobster Throttler says:

    You mean he was a deluded khunt like your gobshite.

  122. 122
    End of boom and bust, cradle to grave security says:

    Mervin king is a complete knob jockey drone , Im surprsed no one has worked his out yet !

  123. 123
    None so blind says:

    Think of your typical public school fag, an arse licker extrodinaire, someone who was bulled into complete complience and will give you the Governor of the bank of England.

  124. 124
    To Be Fair says:

    To be fair she could set her standards higher and get a space in the bed beside her mam and next to her Da !

  125. 125
    The BBC says:

    Watch any telly tonight? Of course you did. BBC wasn’t it.

    So you will have seen how we got a reputable ex-RAF pilot with battle experience to come over all mealy-mouthed about bombing the Nazis?

    [Ignore the old foggies who tell it like it really was, – they’re just fillers]

    But hey! that’s what we do! We are indeed the conscience of the Nation! We hold the nation’s morals in our hands. That why it was such a blow when Wossy had to go!

    [Ignore the old foggies who tell it like it really was, – they’re just fillers]

    Now pay you telly tax!

  126. 126
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    BROKEN BRITAIN……LABOUR’S LEGACY.


  127. 127
    @RichardPBacon Radio 5 twat. says:

    Well I won’t have him on my show, I only like people like me, left wing koonts.

  128. 128
    not a machine says:

    A little surprised at some of comments on here , on this topic , as most it stems from Labours ecnomic policy , and sob fairy tale that everything was alright .

    where to start ?
    well labour did not record quite of bit housing allowance data that didnt reveal the true story , eg how many recipiants recieve over £100 wk on housing benefit , then perhaps the more interesting question of which areas.
    There is also the more sweating question of importing benefit claimants.
    Labour did not build enough social housing ergo buy to let boom .
    there is then 1.2mn manufacturing jobs lost , the not stopping of call centres going abroad , the awarding of some infrastructure to EU (noting ive just found out thameslink tunnel borer is made in germany , when channel tunnel one was made in UK ) . Labour perhaps created a happy voting for permamnet slavery culture .

    Angela Eagle says change in puplic and wants bouuses for civil servants halted , funny that Labour deployed it ………

    The most tragic aspect of labours ruinomics (and yes I understand the reaction to certain benefit claimants ) was its creation of dead zones , feckless culture and a sort of media that reflected it , but never explained how it was getting worse . By the time underclass was penned , it was a bit late in the day , add labours budget overspending and debts , and you sort of get the picture how labour not only shafted so many into the underclass when in power , but ensured they would be staying there as soon as “sorry we have run out of money ” note was left . Call me cynical , but Labour have done about the most devious thing possible as regards the benefits class and the fortunes of this country .

    Once you get over the anger of its total failiure in the end and pox visitation , you have to some sensabilities to want to start somewhere proper , which this goverment is trying to do , despite ill winds from other parties who make fun of voting no , but never offer that explanation as to what to do .

    Labours benefits years , will i think hsitorically , become to be seen as socialist made disaster , as we have seen some budgets such as elderly care have so much neglect or even much inquiry on results , the derth of providers useually resulted in contracts that fed on the churn , rather than in a secure job , some doing very nicely . Who can forget thw lawyer that manged a £12mn pay packet on the back of miners claims .
    The story of labours NGO and providers will be one of the most fascinating studies of socialism and the corruption of government one could imagine sugested draft title “fill yer boots”

    It is hard for me not to have some sympathies with certain benefit claimants ,as what was once a stop gap between jobs , has for certain sections of society has just become longer and longer wait for some life to return to local economies .
    there are plenty not ot have sympathy with , drug dealers , multiple claimants , fraudualent claimants , but again which party was it that did nothing about hosuing benefit ?? , which party made its election success on being the nice party of benefits (even though it was creating underclass and distracting from a better future ) …. why dear old labour . next time the labour defrauders and liars are up for election and the working class realiase how they were shafted , just hope that policy and voter come toegther to ensure labour are not given office again .

  129. 129
    not a machine says:

    Bit puzzled by Tim Montgomeries interview on gay marriage , I dont consider myself a bigot on this issue of wishing not to overturn millenia of somthing being a bit more naturally common and being blessed as ordered by god ,that is uniquely defined as between man and woman .

    The strive for superimposed sameness has all sorts of unintended consequences beyond tidying up legal loose ends ……..

    They communtie in my view is not being disentitled to anything by civil partnerships , marriage on the other hand seems to be by this view .

  130. 130
    Some Geezer wot's heard about this scam often enough to wonder if it might be true says:

    One variation on the theme was that a woman, if she had sisters similarly situated, i.e. rug rats of their own, did not actually give birth to nor care for all the children for whom she was claiming benefits. The eldest added the others’ children when claiming, so say you have three sisters, one of whom has three children, one of whom has two, and now sister #3 has just had her first– as middle sister and kid sister started having kids, they would “lend” them to big sister, who, if the authorities would ever come around for a home visit, would make sure to have all six children there. Middle sister would borrow kid sister’s child and Big’s youngest to have four, and kid sister would borrow her sisters’ two youngest to make three. Care was always taken not to have, for example, 18-year-old sister claim six kids, because however thick the social workers might be or however sympathetic they might be to the gaming of the system, it would look like the taking the piss out of the system that it truly was. (Supposedly this had gone on in the previous generation as well, and they learned it from their mothers and aunts.) One would think that at some point mandatory production of birth certificates and/or fingerprinting would have cut into this scam, so I cannot be sure it ever really took place, but as I said in the moniker space, I’ve heard it often enough not to dismiss the whole matter out of hand

  131. 131
    The BBC - an Apology says:

    That Bomber Boys prog – we must apologise that we couldn’t find any excuse to include the usual obligatory ethnic.

    We’re working on a new history of the entire War, where ethnics hold all the key positions, and try to work with HH and our Comrades to overcome the wicked people who resist him!

  132. 132
    Pundit Too says:

    Wonderful spoof with good acting – Staffordshire????
    More like Tipton / Smethwick area encroaching into Dudley in the West Midlands.
    Our Doreen could make a fortune if she could get a series – but not on BBC as they will not touch it with a bargepole – have to support Labour you see and they are the propagators of the benefit society.

  133. 133
    spreadforOil says:

    I laughed so much I spilt my G&T, humour has a way of telling deep truths. It shows what a shithouse England has become since the late 40s.

  134. 134
    Pundit Too says:

    He would make the perfect Labour MP for Rochdale.
    Got his own football team as well.

  135. 135
    Wayne and Waynetta Slob are all too real says:

    This kind of spoof was done years ago by Harry Enfield with Wayne and Waynetta Slob.

  136. 136
    Directory enquiries says:

    You should try the History channel. They have a very fine documentary about a brigade consisting entirely of coloured US soldiers who built a magnificent highway throught the wilderness in Alaska in record time.

  137. 137
    Directory enquiries says:

    Why don’t you put a sock in it mate? Nobody reads your interminable dribble.

  138. 138
    Cancer says:

    WTF kind of intro was that? How am I supposed to headline this bill with scrutty B-Sides like that to follow? NO! No More Money! I won’t provide comedy at this venue ever again Fawkes! Not if this is what simple crud you expect to put afor your punters and be paid for it! It’s your gig now! Don’t use my name again in vain!

    Signed

    Cancer

  139. 139
    Cancer says:

    If you CHOSE to watch TV after CHOSING to buy a TV you CHOSE to pay the telly tax. Otherwise you’re as bad as a single mother on benefits. You slag.

  140. 140

    Don’t go Tessa.

    I would miss you.

    I am sure many others would too.

    We all get pissed off from time to time.

  141. 141
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Funny how the conversation always detracts from the real problem – ie. his 11 children and the fact that the taxpayer is paying for them.

    The r*cist card always works.

  142. 142
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    He allegedly gave £3.5 million to the Liebour Party.

    No wonder he’s missed.

  143. 143
    Hang The Bastards says:

    David Millband Tvvatwatch.

    The k.nut is on BBC now spouting chite and denying immigration has caused youth unemployment

  144. 144
    Primrose Hill Marxist says:

    There shouldn’t be any council housing inside Zone 4, let alone Zone 1.

    I quite welcome the idea of making council tenants feel ill at ease.

  145. 145
    JH says:

    What we need is a little box on tax returns* which indicates what you are willing to pay towards keeping the scum this satirises. They then get welfare based on the amount collected.

    * Sorry Jimmy, it would only be applicable to NET wealth producers in the private sector who pay in to the tax pool rather than suck hungrily from it. Chippy man-size wards of the state are thus excluded from this process.

  146. 146
    Marcus Aurelius says:

    I am originally from the Black Country too. The unforgiveable thing is that only 3 or 4 generations ago Black Country people were ingenious, industrious and independent. I think they still have it in them. But it will take a massive change in national mood music to relrease them from hte chains of their own imagined limitations. And spineless Dave is stuck on Blair’s boy band playlist.

  147. 147
    David Minibanana says:

    I just hate it when Red Ed jumps aboard the nearest bandwagon, don’t you ?

  148. 148
    Bongler says:

    Fuggling brilliant.

    Time to cross-check the list of benefit claimants with Sky TV. Anyone with satellite dish should have their benefits automatically reduced by the amount they pay for a subscription.

  149. 149
    Professor Henry Brubaker, Institute for Studies says:

    Do I need to waste 4:39 minutes of my life? Or do I just take it as read she is an idle, worthless scrounger demanding we hard working (well…I work!) pay for her life of indolence as its her right?

    I fucking hate these people, I really do.

    Im going to spend 4:39 mins earning some money istead so I can pay for more of these feckless layabouts. I work hard so they don’t have to.

  150. 150
    Professor Henry Brubaker, Institute for Studies says:

    Bomber Harris (or Butch to his crews) had it right. The krauts sowed the wind and reaped the whirlwind.

    Next, are we gonna have some Hollywood twat getting all teary about Hiroshima and Nagasaki?

  151. 151
    Mr. Putin's Stolen Cat says:

    + 1
    More of this, please, Guido

  152. 152
    Retch says:

    I thought it was lovely the way the BBC ‘interviewer’ politely wished David well at the end of the PR slot.

  153. 153
    James says:

    You know that sometime, somewhere Doreen will feature in a heart-wrenching sob story by Polly Toynbee about those heartless baby-eating Tories

  154. 154
    Anonymous says:

    Donate yours my little ckickadee unless you are an alcoholic or a druggie

  155. 155

    Why dont we just let ourselves be run by European bank in Frankfurt, be so much better, would`nt it?

  156. 156
    Baddabing says:

    Ha ! Idiot !

  157. 157
    Berchmans says:

    I was alerted to this on CIF …is this Guido Fawks the stumbling right winger who sometimes has a wee poke at me ? Firstly it is too long, secondly a tiny note to say many are genuinely disabled thirdly what the fuck am I doing trying to engage a fixated sour guy ?

  158. 158
    you mental spastic says:

    Oh FFS, we know about the genuine disabled you dopey twat, it’s the non genuine we’re concerned about like Doreen. There are several Doreens in my area well known in the community too. What are you gonna do about them? Fuck all.

  159. 159
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Brilliant. Whoever made this knows my ex-wife. Her ‘lazy cow’ disease is a lifelong case of ME that, strangely enough, only holidays in the US and France alleviate.

  160. 160
    colonel bogey says:

    Alaska eh? Hardly on the front line was it?

  161. 161
    Steve Lloyd says:

    Are public sector bosses/workers much better? when this coalition gives them complete autonomy, things will get worse.

    http://www.atangledweb.org/?p=28595

  162. 162
    David laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

    I thought it was a good story in the paper last week how one family tried to justify its £41,000 on benefits. They all had mobile phones, had Skye because they hardly went out, they could not stop their addiction to tobacco etc etc.

    Lib Dems should make it compulsory for every person under £35,000 not to work. How many us would love this? It does not matter where the money comes from because if welfare lifers do not get it the money will be thrown away on overseas aid. It pays not work under Labour or Lib Dems. I am coming around to support this if the scheme is universal for everyone.

  163. 163
    Steve Lloyd says:

    + 1

  164. 164
    roy says:

    benefits should clearly be less than minimum wage. and they should be worked for

  165. 165
    8 Ace - £1.49 says:

    BBC would never stand for it

  166. 166
    Anonymous says:

    In other words the TV license is nothing more than a protection racket? Fuck off back to North Korea, wanker

  167. 167
    8 Ace - £1.49 says:

    Thought that looked like Rochdale. Anti muslim discrimination? In Rochdale? Has he been there? Oh, right…

  168. 168
    Poor Bloody Taxpayer says:

    I also had problems with understanding a lot of it. The bits I could understand were very funny and spot-on.

  169. 169
    Pedobear says:

    im guessing its a spoof i mean who the fuck on benefits has ‘mastermind’ in the book collection most have trouble ordering their 8 cans of stella in the local costcutters let alone being able to read an actual book.
    Bet its Guido’s sister or cousin or brother.

  170. 170
    Pedobear says:

    Oh get the fuck over yourself.Bet you are that guy in the pub who always has a smart arsed comment or ‘opinion’ the same one that usually ends up in A&E at some point.

  171. 171
    Rootar says:

    Vile Tories, please. In the Grauniad, Tories are usually ” vile ” these days.

  172. 172
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    It’s Jacqui Smith branching out to do a bit of acting.

    See the resemblance?

  173. 173
    tommy5dollar says:

    What’s this got to do with the Lib Dems? They’re backing the cap… and the family the other day had £31k, not £41k, although they were still atrocious.

  174. 174
    tommy5dollar says:

    I enjoy the bit about how she’s on “heroin, ecstasy and crack for the weekend.” The ignorance of Tories when it comes to drugs is always funny…

  175. 175
    Deaths Receptionist says:

    Heart disease is coming for you fatso

  176. 176
    Displaced Brummie. says:

    I understood every word. (Hence my name!) Though I would have to translate for my wife, who can’t understand the Black Country or Brummie dialects.

  177. 177
    Displaced Brummie. says:

    132 = +1!!!

  178. 178
    The BBC says:

    Foolish and obtuse person, – Alaksa has no bearing on our need to have the obligatory ethnic! How else can we tick all our boxes?

  179. 179
    Jimmy says:

    I would be quite happy with a system where only those who voted for mass unemployment had to pay for it.

  180. 180
    Ivor Biggun says:

    Any real Bullingdon member would know that the word is “you’re”, not “your”, you piss-ignorant fuckpig.

  181. 181
    Mrs Bucket says:

    http://menmedia.co.uk/rochdaleobserver/news/s/1468305_tv-dad-faces-four-benefit-fraud-charges

    2nd house and just a few other “issues” for a supposedly educated man oh and years of weekly rants to the rochdale observer about how poor and useless Britain is.

    Talk about making a rod for your own back

  182. 182
    Bluewood says:

    Was Mervyn the Milky Bar Kid when he was young?

  183. 183
    Displaced Brummie. says:

    Me too. Crap, isn’t it?

  184. 184
    Rupert Murdoch says:

    Hey c’mon, I lost the News of the World already

  185. 185
    Simple Science says:

    Compared to say the Liebour party who just give you more? Don’t solve it, stick a plaster on it.

  186. 186
    Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:

    ‘It’s not about these details.’ (!!)

    Shameless.

  187. 187
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Although this is a spoof film, there is no smoke without fire and it is reality close.
    The Dishonourables have been fiddling for years. But what they got away with was peanuts compared to the millions being paid to the neverhadajobbers, busily breeding the next generation of nevergonnahavajobbers. Probably be best to pay everyone from the cradle to the grave £10k a year, whether they go to school or skive, work or don’t work, although would need a tough birth control system. Otherwise the breeding would get out of hand to get their greedy lazy hands on to the money.

  188. 188
    Madame Defarge says:

    Is that a Michelin Guide Rouge among the books next to her?

  189. 189
    Bongler says:

    +1

    the scroungers are responsible for giving the disabled a bad name

  190. 190
    Anonymous says:

    Worth a thought for the future http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/19654

  191. 191
    Ken Loach says:

    This fine documentary, following the trail blazed by Polly Toynbee’s writing, reveals the heart-wrenching human cost of the Tory cuts. My thanks and congratulations to the film’s auteur.

  192. 192
    Archie says:

    DB. Shouldn’t that be “in’t it”? Just asking.

  193. 193
    Archie says:

    Looks as though they’ve all been fucking each other!

  194. 194
    Archie says:

    Yanks probably not, Professor. Now the al-Beeb on the other hand………………………..

  195. 195
    lordjim says:

    I have to flag up the maths here. To net £26k, you have to earn about £31k, since £7475 is tax-free, leaving £23 and a bit, which is then taxed at 20% (£4.6k tax), which when it comes off your £30.6k gives you £26. So that’s ten-thousand less, without any other benefits you might get (marriage, etc), so we’re clearly not talking about £41k=poverty…though I’m on £22k before tax and I don’t think that’s poverty either. Then again if you add VAT and other duties back in, your ‘net’ certainly drops…

  196. 196
    Lord Melvyn of Barg says:

    Heah, absolutely heah!

  197. 197
    zvonk says:

    I thought the “Mastermind” book on the side table was a great choice of prop.

  198. 198
    Jo Bloggs says:

    The gummermint gives me £17275 p.a. (with an increase soon), that’s equivalent to a gross income of £22,000. I am a single person with no dependents. Now the DWP are advertising for “executive offiers” this week–that’s the folks who kindly sign my little card every two weeks. The starting salary is £21,320 for a 37 hour week.
    What should I do?


Seen Elsewhere

UKIP on 23% With Survation | Mirror
UKIP Could Deal With Dave | Douglas Carswell
Tories Would Lower Benefit Cap | Telegraph
Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood


Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers