January 14th, 2012

Balls Adopts Osborne’s ‘Plan A’
Tells Fabians “There Is No Alternative”

Today sees the evil Fabians holding their “The Economic Alternative” conference and Ed Balls is the keynote speaker.  To raise the curtain he has an interview with Mary Riddell in the conference edition of the Fabian Review. Print deadlines however mean the interview was given some weeks ago when the party line repeated ad nauseuam was different to what it is this morning. In the interview Balls says of the Tory deficit reduction strategy “Nobody in the Labour Party should get into the idea that it has to be this way”.

What a difference to his Guardian interview this morning in which he claims “My starting point is, I am afraid, we are going to have keep all these cuts.”

Same line of questioning, very different answers. The reality of public scepticism regarding Labour’s credibility on the economy and pressure from Shadow Cabinet realists combined with the weakness of Ed Miliband’s authority has forced Ed Balls to switch to George Osborne’s ‘Plan A’. There is no alternative.


  1. 1
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    I suppose reality had to set in some time.

  2. 2
    Now, now Yvette says:

    There never was a 5-point plan for Labour.

  3. 3
    jgm2 says:

    It’s just more confusion marketing Guido.

    Hedging his bets so that whatever the outcome he can point to something on the record and say ‘I told you so…’. Just like the Maximum Imbecile apparently knew the global financial system was out of control and tried to fix it back in (say) 2001 but couldn’t get agreement. So i’s not his fault he fucked the economy.

  4. 4
    Mike Litorus says:

    I don’t believe him for a second, he knows that the no cuts agenda will never see them elected, so is now going along with it. Should they get into power anytime soon, this promise would be abandoned faster than no tuition fees.

    Lying bastards, every last one of them.

  5. 5
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    But Mr. Balls gets O% for integrity.

  6. 6
    Steve Miliband says:

    What a c*nt

  7. 7
    jgm2 says:

    Even if he does stand by his new dose of reality in that he won’t reverse the ‘cuts’ he’ll claim this move has been forced on him by the Tory financial policy of the past 18 months.

    ‘If only they’d followed my plan originally then obviously there would be no need for these ‘cuts’ but, with a heavy heart, we are where we are…..’

  8. 8
    jgm2 says:

    Plus it appears, ‘No joke’, that I’m your 1,000,000th visitor and have won either an iMac, an iPad or an iPhone…

    Cor, what luck eh?

  9. 9
    jgm2 says:


    The bedwetter’s mewling is hilarious…


    13 January 2012 9:39PM

    *cuts Labour membership card in two and cancels direct debit*



    13 January 2012 9:41PM

    Who to vote for at the next election?

    Greens look by far the best



    Pages and pages of whining bedwetters. Absolutely pr*ice*less.

  10. 10
    Legal crook says:

    Ed and Ed – the dream team!

  11. 11
    filipinomonkey says:

  12. 12
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Ed is going “too far, too fast”.

  13. 13
    The last Quango in Paris says:

    Does anyone in the Labour party know what they’re doing !

  14. 14
    Well it's a thought says:

    You missed out the get out clause “could” so sorry.

  15. 15
    The last Quango in Paris says:

    2 eds are better than one.

  16. 16
    Rufus Stone says:

    Balls swings one way then the other.

  17. 17
    Rufus Stone says:

    iCouldnotgiveashit 2

  18. 18
    Legal crook says:

    Perhaps Balls next message will be: “We spent – too much; too often”

  19. 19
    jgm2 says:

    Tie his feet to a big rock. That’ll stop him from swinging.

  20. 20
    Bollocks to Balls says:

    Blinky needs to retire from politics, people just see him as one of them slimey bastards from the New Labour era, full of spin with a load of bollocks for good measure

  21. 21
    Rufus Stone says:

    Better still, tie the rock but throw him off the pier. Something about sleeping with fishes comes to mind.

  22. 22
    Nemo says:

    Now the whole lot of the politicos are in it together, but will they be subject to the same strictures as the rest of us, don’t hold your breath!

  23. 23
    Mike hunt says:

    no, and they never have.
    All they know how to do is how to waste money.

  24. 24
    Fabians are Evil says:

    “Today sees the evil Fabians holding………..”

    I told you so they ARE bloody evil – and stupid smug bastards to boot!

  25. 25

    How do we know that his words are not just a random attack of Tourette’s syndrome?

  26. 26
    Diane 'Out of Context' Abbott says:

    Your just taking the Labour Party out of context….

  27. 27
    Rat's arse says:

    I’m constantly amazed at how feckin thick Labour voters are. Why oh why do these ‘people’ vote for the likes of Balls, T.Watson, Bell, Broon, etc? It’s completely beyond me, or am I missing something?

  28. 28
    Well it's a thought says:

    The left have woken up and found that they are right, those rose coloured glasses must have been stuck on with super glue, ps do you want to buy a bridge or a cruise ship.

  29. 29
    Nemo says:

    well there is the old one about “if you gave a group of chimpanzees and infinite number of typewriters, amount of paper and time they would produce a Shakespeare play “

  30. 30
    smoggie says:

    Set his balls in a block of concrete, give him a rusty knife and throw him off the pier.

    Let him make a decision for once in his life.

  31. 31
    smoggie says:

    Welcome to iScam

  32. 32

    The CIF mob have gone into collective hysteria. “Oh! Who will save the public sector now? We are cast adrift by an uncaring world. Ed Balls is a traitor the religion of five – a – day”

    the delusion on that site is incredible.
    Even now, when the head honcho for no-cuts has changed his mind and now says yes to cuts, they won’t believe it.
    Even when France has had national humiliation over a ratings trim as their cuts weren’t credible. Even when out of control spending countries like greece are only still going on life support the debt deniers scream that there cuts are just an ideological attack.

    bunch of loonies.

  33. 33
    Lou Scannon says:

    Dear Mr Tourette Leballs
    If I send you the money from the old monopoly set in my loft will that make you feel any better ?

  34. 34
    Well it's a thought says:

    Hi I’m gullible who did you say to vote for, you say that you will give me the world and look after me, give me lots of money to stay at home and watch tv, ok you were on tv so it must be true.

  35. 35
    Fabians are Evil says:

    I tell you these Fabian Fukkers ARE evil and Tony Blair was simply being honest: for once!

    “The Fabians were elitists. They had scant regard for servants, factory workers or the poor. Their plan was to control these people through societal measures and programmes, such as eugenics. The goal, as in General Fabius’s strategy, was to break people down bit by bit and engineer their behaviour without them being conscious of it. They called this societal plan the Third Way. If that sounds familiar, it is because former Labour Prime Minister Tony Blair used it in the 1990s. People found this term quite novel, but it was simply Fabianism.”

  36. 36
    Nemo says:

    Now you are taking the **** Motty Botty. Your preview is not working and checking system is working either, not only on my ‘puter but a totally different on so it is your set up.

  37. 37
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    But being a Labour MP is the only job that marries Ball’s talents with his expectations.

  38. 38
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Have you got a source for that quote? It’s a doody and I’d like to add it to my armoury.

  39. 39

    Kinnock say Balls is aaaaawwwwrrriggghhhhttt!

  40. 40
    Jasmin Alibi Cunt says:

    How many people will realise Balls is lying?

    How many people will now believe that a Government headed by a Marxist Jew with him as Chancellor will actually not order spend! spend! spend! when they get in.

  41. 41
    Raving Loon says:

    FFS government spending is actually increasing. Cameron et al are spending/borrowing more than Gordon Brown ever did!

  42. 42
    nellnewman says:

    would I be out of line to suggest that bully’spendspendspend’balls lacks credibility by his abrupt u turn?

    or to go so far as saying that he appe@rs to be lying this time for his own nefarious purposes?

  43. 43
  44. 44
    nellnewman says:

    sorry to tell you this Nemo but I just tried preview and it worked OK for me. Could it be your operating system being incompatible with something here?

  45. 45

    Kinnock added: “Ed is highly intelligent. His intellectual strength is one of his greatest accomplishments. He is courageous … But a section of the press has decided that, for some reason, he doesn’t fit the mould into which they want to pour him and consequently he is the subject of attacks. I was just like that, boyo.”

  46. 46
    nellnewman says:

    kinnoch at militwit’s election as leader – “I’ve got my party back ”


  47. 47
    Synic says:

    Plan A is just not tough enough. The deficit is still circa 150 billion quid a year. That means 10 quid extra debt every day for you dear reader, and each of your kids.
    It’s wasted on unnecessary universal benefits, platinum plated inflation proofed public sector pensions, right down to the gutter troughing of MPs expenses and subsidised swill. Useless legacy vanity projects such as aircraft carriers for mothballing, the HS2 executive train set, and the bread and circuses Olympics all contribute to the gross waste.
    Yet more thieving in the form of Quantitative Easing is on the way.

  48. 48
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve had the same problem so Iam now using Chrome instead of microshite explorer.

  49. 49
    nellnewman says:

    don’t hold your breath.

  50. 50

    Ed Balls is in the position of someone who has decided that his journey to Australia has become unnecessary. Such recognition would have been a lot less inconvenient to all if he had realised his mistake outside Heathrow Airport and not whilst riding the Adelaide-Glenelg Tram.

  51. 51
    Anonymous says:

    got modded, moved over to another browser and all is ok, now using c h r ome

  52. 52
    Synic says:

    Virtually all MPs are self serving slimey bastards. They look no further than the next election and how to retain their positions at the trough.

  53. 53
    nellnewman says:

    I think you’re being a bit too generous there.

  54. 54

    Ed Balls addresses the Fabian conference

  55. 55
    nellnewman says:

    Nope. All they’ve had is a blank sheet of paper.

  56. 56
  57. 57

    It is a bit like a 92 year old having his ball chucked back over the fence, which he had lost at the age of 12.

    And just as much good to him too.

  58. 58
    Lou Scannon says:

    No, there’s been something very wrong with this site for some days now. It’s inconsistent as regards what works and what doesn’t. Very frustrating.

  59. 59
    Synic says:

    Can you name any politician with a higher score?

  60. 60

    How apt.

    And with Brown, you even got the beard thrown in.

  61. 61
    Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

    Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast.Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast.Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast.Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast.Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast.Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast.Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast.Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast. Too far, too fast.

    Anyone got any new soundbites I can chant endlessly and moronically ?

  62. 62
    Spot the Dog with Dirty Balls says:


  63. 63
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of says:

    This two faced slime ball is slowly twisting the knife in little Ed’s back
    he appears on the face of it to be supporting him but behind his back he is launching his own leadership challenge
    time to dust off that Nazi Uniform Mr Balls

  64. 64
    Ah! Monika says:

    Has anyone asked Yvette for a comment?

  65. 65
    anonymous says:

    Funny how the british government are standing behind sarah ferguson and refusing the extradition order from Turkey. Apparently whatever she has done is not a crime in this country. tell that to gary McKinnon and the female blogger who the british government can’t wait to extradite to USA

    One law for the rich and one law for everybody else

  66. 66
    The building by the river says:

    You talking to me?

  67. 67
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of says:

    O/T i know but yesterday a student lost his extradition hearing in court
    i know he was upset as was his mother , but if they are going to fight an appeal
    can somebody tell his mother that it WAS NOT THIS government that signed the extradition treaty with America in 2003 and to stop spouting her inaccurate comments as a successful appeal will depend on accuracy

  68. 68
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    They’re the Entitlement Generation. The brick wall they have been speeding towards is now coming into focus :-)

  69. 69
    Ah! Monika says:

    I’m on Chrome and get my fare share of modding.

  70. 70
    The building by the river says:

    This was in reply to Lou at 10.05. Don’t know how it got up here, but it seems to prove his point!

  71. 71
    South of the M4 says:

    Quiet. More worryingly than “.. there is no alternative” is – there is no difference.

  72. 72
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    “… politicians of all parties, despite their superficial enmities, are really members of one great brotherhood. Their principal, and indeed their sole, object is to collar public office, with all the privileges and profits that go therewith. They achieve this collaring by buying votes with other people’s money. No professional politician is ever actually in favor of public economy. It is his implacable enemy, and he knows it. All professional politicians are dedicated wholeheartedly to waste and corruption. They are the enemies of every decent man.” — H. L. Mencken

  73. 73
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of says:

    “To fix this economy You have to have Balls!” LOL

  74. 74
  75. 75
    Back to plan B for the BBC says:

    A bit late for Balls now, but watch Pаul Mаson of Newsnight quote S&P supporting Ball’s previous plan of “You cannot cut yourself out of a crisis”, here from 5 mins in, and specifically from about 6.25 mins in. Watch Mаsons prissy face to camera with his last few words. Hilarious.


  76. 76
    Ah! Monika says:

    Simps Just copy and paste quote into Google search and up it comes.

    HTML and all that

  77. 77
    Non-socialist worker says:

    Balls was on BBC TV Breakfast this morning-shifty, evasive, waffling, almost denying what he said in his Guardian interview. Ms Reid was showing real exasperation at his refusal to answer anything honestly.

  78. 78

    “It started in America”
    “Temporary public ownership”
    “Its the right thing to do”

  79. 79

    Sarah Ferguson isn’t rich.
    Rich people don’t hang around Turkey trying to make a documentary to flog to Dispatches.

    She’s as skint as a labour government.

  80. 80
    Synic says:

    Step to your left and try this noose for size dear Diane. It’s best quality thick hemp hopefully won’t snap under your weight.

  81. 81
    Synic says:

    Thanks for this more elegant and accurate comment about the corrupt pigs.

  82. 82
    Desperate Yvette says:

    How about —–Grunt, grunt, grunt, grunt, grunt ……aaaah! —- useful in the Commons dining room and the bedroom allegedly.

  83. 83
    Desperate Yvette says:

    See 80 above. Lots of love.

  84. 84
    Ah! Monika says:


    Ed Balls admits Earth moves round the Sun.

  85. 85
    Hugh Janus says:

    He was on Toady too, being ‘interviewed’ by James Windbag McNaughtie. A softer interrogation would be hard to imagine. Pitiful.

    “Is there anything you would like to say to us, Minister?”

  86. 86
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  87. 87
    Equivocator says:

    Balls is the “Flop” in “Flip-Flop”.

  88. 88
    Libertarian says:

    The whining and gnashing of teeth in the comments under the Gruniard piece are wonderful.

  89. 89
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Mencken hated them with a vengeance — worth checking him out if you haven’t already. He foresaw the erosion of civil liberty and the establishment of “an endless series of hobgoblins”, as he called them (e.g. terrorism, AGW) to keep the population in a state of fear and hence compliant.

    We need his like today, NOT the naive, spineless, regurgitating jobsworths who currently populate the mass media.

  90. 90
    The Poet Laureate Writes says:

    Not quite the same.
    Extradition is founded on ‘mutuality’. Meaning it must be a recognised crime in both countries before the extradition can proceed.
    Had Turkey been in the EU they could have issued a European Arrest Warrant and there would be nothing Fatty Sarah could have done about it.
    Under the EAW ‘mutuality’ has been binned. It doesn’t matter that it’s not a crime in the UK, if it’s crime in EU-land she has to be handed over.
    Total scandal.
    Private Eye is doing its best to bring this to public attention.

    PS: there is no Habeus Corpus law in the EU. You stay in prison until they are ready to try you, and then you plead guilty just to get released. Great system !

  91. 91
    The Paragnostic says:

    The Damascene conversion of St Ed is all very well, but what of his erstwhile comrades, the Zealots of Unison, Unite and the rest?

    How will they react to Labour accepting that there isn’t the money to pay their fantasy wage demands and ludicrous pensions? Are they likely to see sense at last, or shall we see the Masada of the unions?

  92. 92
    Ah! Monika says:

    Child Benefit Cap

  93. 93
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Now Ed Balls is having a re-launch – and re-writing History. For even more unintentional hilarity from Labour read this:
    Leader Ed will be pleased.


  94. 94
    Fiscal Gerrymandering says:

    Blinky’s talking – No one’s listening

  95. 95
    Many A Tear Has To Fall, But It's All In The Game says:

    The way it works is that Party X, when they are in, sets spending increases on one trajectory, and Party Y, coming in thereafter, claim the spending is unsustainable and lower the trajectory. Party X then calls what Party Y is doing “cuts,” as “lowering the rate of growth,” though strictly spe*king correct, is too many syllables and might actually prompt the more intellectually active amongst the electorate to actually ask the question being begged i.e. “Why ANY increases full-stop, question-mark?” It also puts Party Y into the position of having to defend INCREASES, which, given their druthers, they would as soon not do if they could help it. Should Party Y get the better of the argument somehow, they turn the question on its head and tell Party X to come up with a sustainable level of increase different to Y’s, which, having been mugged by reality, Party X cannot do.

  96. 96
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    You’ve got to pity the PS Unions. They spend all that money pilfered from the public, rig an election, then get bitten by the mouths they bought. Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of wankers.

  97. 97

    Ed Balls – notes for PPE students.

    Part 6 – Synopsis of political speeches:

    2005: Black is white
    2006: Black is white
    2007: Black is white
    2008: Black is white
    2009: Black is white
    2010: Black is white
    2011: Black is white
    2012: Black is not white

  98. 98
    Penfold says:

    Another day, another position, another lie.

    Nothing changes in the minds of politicoes, everything they say is unique and fresh and idealistically startling and “progressive”.

    Balls is a dreadful man………

  99. 99
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Are you sure the Beeboid called him, “Minister”? Further proof, if any was needed, of the BBC’s institutionalised Lefty partisanship.

  100. 100
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    And for much the same reasons.

  101. 101

    But not:

    1. on the same body and
    2. in the same shadowy cabinet.

  102. 102
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Isn’t 4 grunts before the AAAAH overoptimistic?

  103. 103
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Sorry, % grunts before the Ahhhh.

  104. 104

    She got fucked a lot whilst the Labour government fucked everyone else.

    What a pity we could not have put them in touch with each some way earlier.

  105. 105
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  106. 106
    Sir William Waad says:

    And Ballsie will say something honest ad kalendas graecas.

  107. 107
    Ed Miliband says:


  108. 108
    The Paragnostic says:

    Coming soon to Covent Garden – Jonathan Miller’s production of GitterdammerungThe Twilight of the Gits

    Eggfried – Ed Miliband (lightweight)
    Brunhatter – Chris Bryant (alto)
    Cunther – Ed Balls (spare us a tenor, guv)
    Gutsrune – Tom Watson (bar(tab)itone)
    Hagen – Margaret Moran (soprano and dry rot)
    Alberich – Tony Blair (very, very rich)
    Oldtraute – Harriet Hatesmen (shrill)
    First Nornentity – Chukka Umama (tenor and bongos)
    Second Nornentity – Rachel Reeves (contrary)
    Third Nornentity – Andy Burnham (mascara)
    Woglinde – guess who
    Wellgurning – Margaret Beckett (bass)
    Flossmaker – Gordon McDoom (basso unprofundo)

    All proceeds to the Fabian Fund for Former Friends (aka the Union Modernisation Slush Fund).

  109. 109
    South of the M4 says:

    Ah, so its all in the game.

  110. 110
    Sir William Waad says:

    Frightful social-climbing Sloane! To think that she came from good gentry stock! I blame her mother for dumping her husband and marrying some greasy gaucho from the pampas. Bloody Argies!

  111. 111
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    jgm2 and smoggie – are you real people or is this Billy having another conversation with himself whilst hungover – I am worried about his heavy drinking

  112. 112
    Anonymous says:

    Anyone noticed that the Fabian font and colour scheme is the same as BBC News?

  113. 113
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    bugger, I am a mess this morning -

  114. 114
    Ed Balls says:

    I admit it. When I was in Goverment, my policies were disastrously wrong.

  115. 115
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I have never had a new one torn

  116. 116
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    You can follow me @ontablets

  117. 117
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Grow up!

  118. 118
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    It was all Sue’s fault.

  119. 119
    Free speech? says:

    Shame gideons actual plan A right up till the credit crunch was promising to match Nulabs insane spending commitments, and in fact promised to increase spending on NHS.

    Deficit denying cock that he is

  120. 120
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Sorry, meant to say – what was the point of your post

  121. 121
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    I prefer this footage :-)

  122. 122
    Joy. says:

    The best thing is the outrage from the Guardianistas in their comments. Have been recommending all their comments just to egg them on and become even more hysterical. Oh joy, great joy, they don’t like it up m.

  123. 123
    The Paragnostic says:

    Point? Since when has anything I post had a point?

    Bloody hell, you’ll be asking me to make sense next!

  124. 124
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    even though i am in a bit of a mess, i dont think this would make any sense even if i was not. is it funny and i am just missing the point

  125. 125
    Red Ed's non-predator union bosses says:

    Brilliant, Ed ! Just brilliant !!


  126. 126
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    sorry, having a bad morning

  127. 127
  128. 128
    As Hell freezes-over, Balls says:

    “And most of what we spent your money on was complete crap. I mean, SureStart Centres? What a load of old shite. Boy, we really pissed your money away there, didn’t we? Sorry about that.”

  129. 129
    The Paragnostic says:

    I hope that’s before the next Preston Guild…

  130. 130
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  131. 131
    anonymous says:

    so inequality before the law in britain is okay then

    let’s hope it doesn’t happen to you hey??

  132. 132
    Ed Tourette says:

    Too fucking fast, too c*un*ting far – Soapy titty wank bollox!

  133. 133
    Tessa Tickles says:

    That’s not really a shame, it’s just typical political stupidity.

    What really IS a shame, is that after telling us he has to cut unnecessary spending to get the deficit and ultimately the debt down, he then went on an insane debt-fuelled spending-orgy, pissing-away £13billion p/a on EU membership (up 75%), £12billion p/a on foreign aid (to countries with space programmes), £33billion on the HS2 trainset, plus tens of billions pissed away forever on euro bailouts.

    If the imbecile had actually stuck to NuLab’s spending plans, we’d be better off.

  134. 134
    The Paragnostic says:

    Sure Start centres provided an essential service to the nation – they were a place where earnest and caring left wing bedwetters could patronise and belittle the children of those less fortunate than themselves, while being paid out of the public purse.

    What are those patronising twats to do now? Some of them relied on the Sure Start wage for pin money, or to pay for sponsoring goats in Kenya.

    Mark my words, there will be hordes of the useless bastards roaming the streets looking for someone to condescend to if we don’t stop these mad cuts now!

  135. 135
    Fiscal Gerrymandering says:

    Everyone except Balls knows he will never get elected again.

    He only won last time by 101 votes and I wonder what might have been if they had conducted a proper audit of the postal votes.

  136. 136
    smoggie says:

    Or this gem

    Where is the opposition in this country? Back in the earlier half of this century we saw genuine shifts in the model of capitalism espoused following the 1930s economic crisis. Now we simply have politicians arguing about pay freezes and spending cuts. I despair. We simply haven’t learnt the lessons and, dare I say it, deserve all we get.

    The public sector didn’t cause this crisis and have born the brunt of the pain. It makes me feel sick that within a few weeks state-backed bankers will be taking home hundreds of thousands while those with cancer are left to rot under this government’s welfare plans.

    No mention of the two and a half million peasants who starved to death in 1930s under Bolshevism because Stalin stole all their grain to finance his Five Year Plan. In comparison, capitalism’s Great Depression was a picnic.

    So Gordon Brown doesn’t work for the public sector nor was it the public sector who soaked up the revenues from the private sector? Of course not, it was the banksters. And it started in America…

  137. 137
    The Italian Job says:

    Beggars belief that a modern cruise with all the latest nav aids ship can be driven onto the rocks in fair weather.

  138. 138
    George Osborne says:

    I’m on Cocaine

  139. 139
    The Paragnostic says:


    Ed knew something was wrong when the wrong uniform arrived for his rendition of the Horst Wessel Liede. When he found out who it was who had substituted Kepler Wessels, there would be hell to pay!

  140. 140
    Polly Toynbee says:

    There’s a half sunken wreck at the end of my garden this morning.

  141. 141
    Spartacus says:

    so a number of countries have been downgraded financially.

    what i am waiting for is the ”ERM moment” when they all start to fall apart

    not long now

  142. 142
    Dave the Weaker says:

    More like a steel reinforced concrete wall curved around to hem them in on both sides as well. However, that might fail like the crap 1960’s quality Hammersmith flyover. Perhaps better to think of a 16 feet thick medieval castle wall.
    Either way the leftie blood and guts dripping down afterwards will make an impressive mural. Alas the fxxkers are likely to take the rest of us with them.

  143. 143
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    How about:

    Not far enough, not fast enough!

  144. 144
    MadJockMcMad says:

    Well that’s Labour’s goose well and truly cooked here in Scotland.

    What a week for the SNP!

    Cameron opens mouth and lets stomach rumble, nearly 1000 more Scots join SNP.

    Milliband opens mouth to support Cameron, Labour in Scotland haemorrhages even more support.

    Mass bullying of SNP Deputy Leader on ‘Question Time’ shifts more folk to the pro-independence camp. Devo-max Unionist supporter says: “Watching the London leaders and their proxies unite against a simple democratic measure tells me all I need to know about the UK in any form. Their interests are not Scotland’s interests.” (Ian Bell, Glasgow Herald, Jan 2012)

    Now Ball’s telling everyone Labour is a ‘me too’ Tory Party …. and the IoD stating Osbourne’s claims about investment in Scotland are bollocks after a survey of their 1500 Scottish members and the HMI showing Scotland out performed London and the South East in 2012 in both employment and growth.

    All this without the SNP having to spend a penny of their fighting kist’s riches.

  145. 145
    MadJockMcMad says:

    OOPs meant 2011 …. getting ahead of myself …

  146. 146
    Peter Cook, watching with continued despair says:

    Red on the outside, red on the inside….rednecks all

  147. 147
    Durr says:

    I pssed all my exums like dat.

  148. 148
    thick as thieves says:

    Ed Balls for Labour Leader.

  149. 149
    Genghiz The Kahn says:

    Surely Twilight of The Sods.

    Erda – Margaret Thatcher.

    Hagen – Ed Balls.

    Das Rheingold:

    Albreich: (evil dwarf who stole all the gold). James Gordon Brown.

  150. 150
    The Grim Reaper says:

    Perhaps Blinky Balls needs to take advantage of today’s Groaniad special supplement….on how to improve your memory.

    Memory Loss…..an affliction experienced by all Lefties…for all time

  151. 151
    fick says:

    That Reeves woman is appalling.

  152. 152
    The Paragnostic says:

    Why would anyone wish to invest in a country with such an uncertain future? I can understand the attraction to money launderers, oligarchs and the like who have the resources to deal with the Scots Labour mafia, but for real businesses the attractions of a dank, miserable hole populated by troglodytes whose idea of work is drug dealing from ice-cream vans or embezzlement from the banking sector must be minimal.

    Good luck to the SNP – and long may yer pizzas fry.

  153. 153
    Genghiz The Kahn says:

    And Edward has no balls at all.

  154. 154
    Barnehurst Bob says:

    No its not! The BBC news font is the same as the Fabian’s because that’s where they get their opinions from.

  155. 155
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Creepy little 4 eyed frog mong on BBC Dateline ranting that we nasty Brits should be downgraded and that France is just fucking brilliant.

    Then another mong David Aaronovich moaning that if these euro sceptics are so clever why didn’t they tell us about the banking collapse.

    Of course they did, but the leftists and the BBC were too busy sniffing Brown rectum at the time.

  156. 156
    Richie Benaud says:

    And that is the first thing he has caught all day.

  157. 157
    Durr says:

    With friends like Kinnock, who needs enemies?

  158. 158
    The world of balls says:

    I’m like a rubber ball
    I can bounce to left or right
    I’m like a rubber ball
    I can bounce to any height.
    I can spin, cheat, flip
    I’m a total dick
    Too fast too far
    I’m a shooting star
    Oh no – I’m just a prick.

  159. 159
    I don't need no doctor says:

    As I have said many times before labour serve no purpose whatsoever. Look at them, just a bunch of spiteful egotistical spongers, playing at socialism. They only know how to ruin the country on behalf of their union paymasters.

  160. 160
    Barnehurst Bob says:

    They haven’t had a blank sheet of paper for a while. It’s covered with crossings out as they’ve tried to make spending money you haven’t got sound like a good idea. Now its got ”Do what George says’ and for gods sake try to look like you believe it’ written on it in bold.

  161. 161
    Valkyrie plot says:

    It’s the next phase of his effort to depose Militwat and take over the bunker. Never believed that he supported Red Ed for one moment. It’s been a game of strategy, waiting for the inevitable. Who is in the dark arts smear team this time around?

  162. 162
    Universal Hiss says:

    It’s funny.

    I’m not surprised you don’t get it.

    Done my hangover a world of good.

  163. 163
    N Devver says:
    ..     . . . .   . -   . . . -   .
    . - .   ..   - . - .   .     . -   - .   - . .     . - - .   .   . -     …   -   . -   ..   - .   …
    - - -   - .     - -   - . - -     .   . - - .   . -   . . -   . - . .   .   -   -   .   …     . - . - . –
    ..   -     ..   …     - . .   . - .   . .   . . . -   . .   - .   - - .     - -   .     -   - - -
    - . .   . - .   . .   - .   - . -     . - . - . –
  164. 164

    You said Sarah Ferguson is rich.
    I said ..no she isn’t that’s why she’s always trying to get people to buy some crummy thing she’s hawking.

    You said that’s inequality before the law.
    So you insist that she is rich{which she isn’t} and that she has been granted a privileged legal status purely on account of the cash {which she hasn’t. and as we have established she does not posses the cash anyway}

    You have either misunderstood the responses or chosen to misunderstand them so as to preserve your rather odd argument.

    However, as you must have wandered over from cif, and we wish to make you welcome, ..

    “Yeah comrade! Too right. The capitalist, imperialist, divide ‘n rulist, rich elite have conspired to make a completely innocent victim a lawbreaker. The Tory toffs who hypnotised David Miliband into signing this lackey extradition treaty with the uncaring empire of America should be stabbed with their own fish knives.”

  165. 165
    Leach Jasper says:

    Dianne Abbott – notes for PPE students.

    2005: White divides Black
    2006: White divides Black
    2007: White divides Black
    2008: White divides Black
    2009: White divides Black
    2010: Black goes to the wall
    2011: Black loots from white
    2012: Black is taken out of context by White

  166. 166
    The next pilgrim says:

    I don’t understand.
    I went on a day trip protest.
    I had a placard saying NO to CUTS! with a little picture of some scissors
    I stayed in a tent for a few days

    Why hasn’t the government fallen?

  167. 167
    Utter Balls says:

    I blinked before Osborne did

  168. 168
    Labour's 5-point 5-star 5-yr Plan says:

    1. Tax
    2. Spend on vote buying
    3. Wreck everything
    4. Scorch the earth
    5. Poison the wells

  169. 169
    Anonymous says:


  170. 170
    Utter Balls says:

    It’s MS Guardian Holding taking water Polly

    Get used to it

    It’s going down soon…

  171. 171
    Mr Trikk says:

    It’s no good – I’ve tried reading all the Grauniad comments but the tears of laughter mean I just can’t see straight for now…

  172. 172
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of says:

    The Ballard of Anthony Worrell Thompson

  173. 173
    Rat-a-tat-tat says:

    You really do need help.
    not trying to make fun of you or anything like that. but what you do with you free time is not normal behaviour.
    now I know you are past the point where you can see that, but you must have a work colleague. Just mention that you have a friend who has this problem where he pretends to be someone else on the internet. Not exactly stalking maybe just voyuering.

    See the reaction that this person has when you describe what your ‘friend’ does for entertainment.

    then seek some professional help. It will be free. There is no stigma attached.

  174. 174
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of says:

    And another one !

  175. 175
    Gordon F Brown's former advisor says:

    I don’t do reality. I do balls…

  176. 176
    Steph "Two-Eds" Flanders says:

    I’d have to disagree with you there

  177. 177
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Does anyone know if McMental ever took a cruise ship holiday before?

  178. 178
    Edballsup says:

    just checked out the guardian website, most of their comments seem to be the sandal brigade ripping up their labour party membership and refusing to vote again. This weekend is proving a fun one.

  179. 179
    Silly Mid Off says:

    How apt that Balls would be the wicketkeeper– he stumps me all right with that “I knew what I was talking about, but now I’ve changed my mind” bullshit.

  180. 180
    Spot the Dirty Dog with Balls in Flip-Flops says:


  181. 181
    BBC corrections Department says:

    It was a slip of the tongue, he meant to say ” Master”

  182. 182
    Bawbag Survivor says:

    They think their economies bad now?….wait ’till scotland leaves!…we’ll have 50 million economic migrants trying get in.

  183. 183
    Expat Geordie says:

    Balls lies like an astmatic breathes – almost all the time but very badly.

  184. 184

    Ed Balls is crap. But he’s in good company.

    S&P happily awarded Triple-A status to CDOs.* These would not even be given junk bond status now.

    * CDO = Collateralised Debt Obligation paper – the sort you put your finger through when you wipe your arse.

    So all the ratings agencies are crap, the banks are crap, the governments are crap, the oppositions are crap, the currencies are crap, the EU/Euro are crap, the media is crap, *all reality TV without exception is crap*, the railways are crap, all the shit made in China is crap, the USA extradition treaty is crap and now we find Italian cruise liners are crap.

  185. 185
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Just had a look myself.

    going to be hard work for D.U.E.M.A …..

  186. 186
    Your Welsh and you know you are says:

    Lol lets all laugh at the Welsh.Btw its rude to talk with your mouth full of inglish cock !

  187. 187
    Expat Geordie says:

    The Greens! The Bloody Greens! Quite literally bloody. Are these the same Greens who stood on a platform of reducing the UK’s population to a more sustainable 40 million a few years ago? How were they going to do that? Camps? Even arch lefties like Stalin, Hitler and Pol Potty weren’t that ambitious.

  188. 188
  189. 189
    Anonymous says:

    Milliband now 8/11 odds he stands down before next election, who on earth is going to take his place they are a bunch of utter tossers

  190. 190

    At the same time????

    Tell us more… We like to hear about that sort of stuff here.

  191. 191
    Expat Geordie says:

    And because you’re a bit on the big side, you won’t have to drop very far. 2-3 feet at most. Unlike dear Mrs Cooper Balls, who is so small and light that she would probably need a 15 foot drop to break her neck properly.

  192. 192
    spilt my cocoa says:

    The Costa Pacquet seems to have got a little list.

  193. 193
    Stu says:

    Turn on any hand dryer in any public toilet and you get a 30 second speech by Kinnock.

  194. 194
    Percy Vere says:

    - . – . – – – – . – . – . – . . . . . – – . – . – . – . . – .

  195. 195
    Herman Van Rompuy says:

    Ze little Englanders are behind this!
    They have cut our credit ratings too far und too fast!

  196. 196
    Fix your Blog Guido says:

    This site is just about fooked. Totally unusable with IE 8 or IE 9, having to use that awful Google spyware Chrome thingy

  197. 197
    HRH Bungalow Andrew says:

    She always worked hard on the job in hand. Pity my toe sucking skills weren’t good enough.

  198. 198
    The man who has never done a day's work in his life. says:

    Why are the staff looking for work?

  199. 199
    nellnewman says:

    “The taxpayer subsidy means MPs can enjoy drinks at prices far lower than those found in high street wine bars, with wine from £2.35 a glass.
    Concerns have been raised over Parliament’s drinking culture. Last year Dr Sarah Wollaston, MP for Totnes, said some MPs are too drunk to stand up in debates and have “no idea” what they are voting for”

    Here you go. The way mp’s treat the taxpayer with utter contempt. No doubt bullyballs was in the hoc bar before he went off lecturing the fabians about cuts. He’ll not have any recollection tomorrow that he ever uttered the word ‘cuts’.

  200. 200
    Dalton's the Bond for me says:

    Most underrated Bond on ITV4 now, The Living Daylights. Good old days of Cold War and killing Russian spies.

  201. 201
    Expat Geordie says:

    Normally I’m a proud Unionist, as growing up in the north east we are well aware of what happens when there is an independent Scotland – they start looking south and start raiding.

    However, as the national debt quadrupled from £350bn to £1400bn under a Scottish socialist government, then I am all in favour of Scotland going it’s own way, taking it’s £1.1 trillion share of the debt and all it’s Labour MP’s with it. With the loss of those Labour MP’s and the reduction in the number of constituencies in Wales from 40 to 30, plus the reduction of Labour supporting constituencies in the north, then I forsee a very happy future for the rest of our glorious United Kingdom. Being relatively debt free and with a permanent, politically incorrect and pro-British Conservative government outside of the EU, I see an increase in freedom, employment and personal prosperity for all.

    I hate to say this, but goodbye Scotland, it’s been nice knowing you.

  202. 202
    nellnewman says:

    yes but she’s very good for turning people into tory voters so don’t knock her!!

  203. 203
    Albert Pierrepoint II says:

    Cherie’s brass neck is that thick the guillotine blade would probably shatter. Better use a concrete weighted ducking stool for all three of the witches.

  204. 204
    Percy Vere says:

    not as easy as it looks – i’ll get my coat

  205. 205
    RedEd says:

    . – . – . –……………………………………………

  206. 206
    Percy Vere says:

    surely he meant:

    Been visiting Mexborough JobCentre – talking with staff and people. Looking for work.

  207. 207
    Expat Geordie says:

    I agree. Tell any “real” Bond fans that the best Bond’s were Dalton, Craig and Lazenby, in that order, and they turn a funny colour.

    God I miss the Cold War.

  208. 208
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    I’d like Bambi and Thumper to pay Gordon Brown a visit.

  209. 209
    Tony Dean says:

    Even the Labour Party don’t know what to do to get the economy going again. Neither of the two big parties are worth voting for, we need an alternative!

  210. 210
    The Parliamentary Labour Party says:

    So, there is hope then. Ed is looking for a new job.

  211. 211
    Baron Kinnock of MultiPensions says:

    Labour forever!

  212. 212
    Knob Ed says:

    Pleeth thop taking the pith. Ith cruel.

  213. 213
    Geek says:

    The Navy Lark comes to town.

    Starboard lookout ‘ere. Should we anywhere near the Trevi fountain skipper?


  214. 214
  215. 215
    Expert Expat tv remote user says:

    Dateline is a programme to be seriously avoided at all costs. Usually a platform for Pollytwad and Yasminalibaba to spout their lunatic and blinkered bile across the worldwide air waves.

  216. 216
    Nemo says:

    The other prize gives free access to the Liebore party annual conference and attendence to all the parties etc

  217. 217
    No more Jocks at Westminster says:

    Look on the bright side…Scottish Independence means 65 less Labour MPs at Westminster which means they’ll never be able to form a majority government again

  218. 218
    Land Ho! says:

    Navigation training these days is also decidely crap. A British frigate showed them how not to do it about ten years ago just off New Zealand.

  219. 219
    Ed Tourette says:

    France has been downgraded to Belgium..fuck, knackers, knockers!

  220. 220
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    …..over-spending Taxpayers’ money.

  221. 221
    Nemo says:

    What cann’t you remember what you got up to last night Willy that could be very nasty if you have been a naughty boy

  222. 222
  223. 223
    Land Ho! says:

    My Firefox works perfectly. Give it a go. Still get modulated when using veggies and speeeeech infractions though.

    Perhaps we should all stop coming here for a week to enable our host to get his modprog sorted. Do what he preaches and hit him in the pocket area. He won’t like just talking to himself.

  224. 224
    Tory Cat says:

    …and they ain’t working.

  225. 225
    Sally Ho! says:

    I thought that was the point – he DOES like just talking to himself.

  226. 226
    Tory Cat says:

    So what tablets are they giving out for ADHD these days?

  227. 227
    Nemo says:

    FYBG I think you maybe right, I have explorer 9 and I post from the local library which used explorer 8

  228. 228
    artistic crutch says:

    Marcel Marceau taught me all I needed to know about miminge.

  229. 229
    The Sorbonne says:

    Don’t mistake an inability to fully execute a plan with a lack of ambition

  230. 230
    Ah! Monika says:

    A plug a day.

    What’s the connection?

  231. 231
    N Devver says:
    - - . -   . . .   - . .     
    - - . -   . - .   - -     . . - - . .     
    - - . -   . . .   - -     
  232. 232
    Ah! Monika says:

    Italian Liner

    … — …

  233. 233
    Every little helps says:

    ITV has a bit of a coup. Cheese stealing monkey Antony Worrall Thompson will be a guest on tomorrow night’s That Sunday Night Show.

  234. 234
    Ah! Monika says:

    Hmmm. I wonder if Ed has worked that out?

  235. 235
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    People really should read the comments in the Guardian.

    Just so funny :-)

  236. 236
    Anonymous says:

    Sporting of Ed to admit in advance that the next NuLab government will do as the last one and just carry on with the shitty Thatcherite policies of the rest of the liblabcons.

    Yet more evidence for not voting for any of the self-serving thieving bastards.

  237. 237
    T I N A says:

    Ed M thinks there is no alternative to Balls.

    Tells him to get on Telly and do a U turn for me.

    Or you’re out

    Ed does as told

    There is no alternative to Balls.

  238. 238
    Ewa says:

    Life’s tooo short , Billy x .

    E x .

  239. 239
    AC1 says:

    The depression in America was made VASTLY worse and much longer because of the terrible Marxist policies of the government at the time.

    The truth of this is only just escaping from the lies of the education establishment who said the New Deal saved (total truth inversion) the economy.

  240. 240
    Stephanie Flanders says:

    My Two Ed’s, Knob Ed and Bollock Ed seem to have lost their way of late.

  241. 241
    AC1 says:

    Well we could put everyone who supports the greens in a death camp, it would be supported by them no doubt?

  242. 242
    Nostradamus says:

    Italy’s greatest asset holed beneath the waterline.
    Eye full tower to fall tomorrow

  243. 243
    Ah! Monika says:

    Was Balls in the queue?

  244. 244
    Ah! Monika says:

    Huhne says he will plead insanity.

    Sites the building of thousands of windmills as evidence

  245. 245
    Herr Balls says:
  246. 246
    AC1 says:

    I’d quite like Gary “Scriptkiddie” McKinnon to be sent to America for a trial.

  247. 247
    AC1 says:

    That’s wrong too, they revolve around the common centre of gravity of the solar system.

  248. 248
    AC1 says:

    > Triple tuition fees, scrap legal aid, scrap EMA, scrap BSF, slash welfare, NHS privatised

    That’s a good start to things to do to fix the country.

  249. 249
    Really? says:

    Yup. It was in the ‘O’ level History syllabus thirty years ago.

    It was the great public building projects, like the ‘Freeways’ (in the USA, but not in Germany) that rescued the world from the Great Depression.

    It was the great public building projects, like the ‘Autobahns’ (in Germany, but not in the USA) which paved the road to totalitarianism and Fascism.

    The English syllabus of the same period insisted that George Orwell’s ‘1984’ be studied alongside Alexander Solzhenitsyn’s ‘Gulag Archipelago’, just so that we could be told how lucky we were to have refused to cede to either extreme of ideology.

    Maybe calling two papers ‘Combined Honours in Cognitive Dissonance’ would have made the subjects look less appealing.

  250. 250
    AC1 says:

    Rather stupid idea.

    Just bin feckless reproduction rewards.

    there should be a Tax credit for not having children.

  251. 251
  252. 252
    AC1 says:

    Independence for New-Darien.

  253. 253
  254. 254
    Technomist says:

    And yet Paddy Power were offering 6/1 on his replacing Ed Miliband even before today’s vote winning speech.

  255. 255
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    6. Blame Thatcher and the Tories

  256. 256

    She would be welcome to stay with me – in which case, I would ensure that she enjoyed more than one plug a day.

  257. 257
    Ah! Monika says:

    Balls does a major U turn…..

    Tells Yvette she now can have implants.

  258. 258
    Ah! Monika says:

    BBC Online
    ” Women march over breast implants”

    Left, right, left, right, left, right ooops

  259. 259
    Anonymous says:

    So the Scots are going to vote for independence then? you promise? You really really promiseY

  260. 260
    Harry Ett says:

    I am here to serve.
    You know where to find me.

  261. 261
  262. 262
    Cynical Old B. says:

    7. Say, ‘It started in America’

  263. 263

    Postal privatisation was a Labour plan.

    I realise it must be hard for you to reconcile as a Labour government privatising its very own CWU union within Royal Mail is a bit like the Tories nationalising Dyson . But it is true.

  264. 264
    DieLieboreDie says:

    A Blinky Balls lead Liebore is my idea of political heaven. Please please let it come true.

  265. 265
    Really? says:

    How long was the lag between the Eye crying foul over PFI financing and general recognition of the same?

    If what you say about ‘mutuality’ being a basic concept of extradition law is true, how to explain the front page story in today’s Daily Mail which notes how: ‘A British student faces up to a decade in a U.S. prison for actions which are not even a crime in the UK’.

  266. 266

    Ed Balls should be wary.

    According to Christian tradition, Paul was tried for heresy & beheaded in Rome. .

  267. 267
    The Party's Over says:

    Blinky makes Adolf look positively cuddly.

  268. 268

    He’s doing a bit of a Brown.
    Forced to make a speech about cuts he grudgingly does so, spitting out “Happy now!” like a teenager told to turn the music down.

    But he never refers to it again and carries on promoting no tax rises, no cuts, no job losses, for evermore as if he never said otherwise.

  269. 269
    DieLieboreDie says:

    Ms Reid…..mmmmmmmm.

  270. 270
    Fabians are Evil says:

    Any comment from BBC Radio or TV? Nope not a word because, of course, he is a lefty and works for the BBC.

    No prizes for guessing what would have happened if he was a Tory.

    The whole bastard lot of ‘em make me sick.


  271. 271
    WVM says:


    Great work UKIPwebmaster!

  272. 272
    Rat's arse says:

    Just clicked on link ‘Fabian’ and apparently it’s now ‘unavailable’………..oops!

  273. 273
    J. Maynard K. says:

    But, but shurely there must be shome mishtake.

    My idea worked, to spend money we didn’t have and to load the debt onto generations as yet unborn, Ha, Ha to them.

    And after all, in the end we are all dead, well at least I am.

    Brilliant but Simples and even better, SOSHIALIST to show we care.

  274. 274
    Thucydides says:

    Because Labour offers them one quids worth of services for 70p and borrows the difference….until the security runs out and bankruptcy shows its implacable face.

    Why do they do it?

    Electoral success means access to money, power and influence ie. spoils of office.

    A basic problem in democracy pointed out from the beginning by the Ancient Greek philosophers

    A democracy can vote itself into bankruptcy.

    That is, effectively what Europe and the US have done.

  275. 275
    Gordon Bruin says:


  276. 276
    Cynical Old B. says:

    No, no, no. You got it all wrong. It was investment.

    In this case into our client state and our loyal voters.

  277. 277
    Nodrog Nworb says:

    Someone mentioned marvelous me?

    They’ve at least got the headline correct – “ed-balls-labour-party-economic-redibility” on the url.
    Back in the earlier half of this century which century are they waffling on about the 20th or the 21st (which has hardly started yet) which is this century.

    FFS journos of any colour get a grip (:^)

  278. 278
    It's all in the game says:

    Sucker fell for it. I can now sack him and get back to a UNITEd party.

  279. 279
    Gooey Blob says:

    News 24 are running with it, interviewing John McDonnell and giving Labour lots of air time. Their coverage amounts to little more than a Labour party political broadcast.

  280. 280
    smoggie says:

    Yes and no

  281. 281
    Mrs. Beaton says:

    First, skin your criminal…

  282. 282
    Cynical Old B. says:

    Cameron is well on his way to double the Gordoom’s debt of £900 Billion to his own target of £1600 Billlion by the end of this Parliament.

    No wonder he needs dedicated Make Wast schemes like the High Speed Train Scam to get there.

    Geez we are badly served by these bastards and even worse by the spineless, gutless, gormless Mejia led by BBPravda.

    There is more informed debate and news on Russia Today and Al Jazheera than our national pastiche of half truths and lies.

  283. 283
    The Paragnostic says:

    I don’t think Gary McKinnon used any scripts – so far as I can tell from what has been printed, he merely accessed machines open to the internet with weak or no admin passwords.

    If the Septics can’t secure their systems, then tough on them. To require us to extradite someone whose only crime is akin to looking through an open back door is, I would suggest, a fucking cheek. And this latest case really is taking the piss – it’s dicatorship by Disney, a Hollywood holocaust, a (insert hyperbole here). Linking to copyright infringing sites isn’t a crime in the UK, and just because it is in the US, there’s no reason to kow tow to them.

    You are generally against rent-seeking, AC1 – what greater example of rent seeking is there than the infinitely extendable system of US copyright law?

  284. 284
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:


  285. 285
    Anonymous says:

    Like Billy’s cock.

  286. 286

    Criegee biradicals.

    Sound like an iffey Scottish splinter party, don’t they?

    In fact they are a type of atmospheric molecule whose existence has long been suspected but never proved. N.B. Their existence has long been suspected but never proved.

    That has now changed. They have now been observed directly.

    “Climate models will probably need to be updated to take the discovery into account.”

    Yet the climate change industry have been busy concocting spurious solutions using dodgy models that employ frigged data, all the time whilst knowing these particles exist and were probably a game changer.

    Yet more proof, if ever were needed, that Gore, the East Anglia Climate Research Unit, their numerous associates et al are charlatans. Much richer charlatans than they were before they started to screw our governments.


  287. 287
    The Paragnostic says:

    David Aaronovich is a cunt.

    Ex communist, converted to Blair arse-licker and cheerleader for war, and another one of the fucking Chosen to boot.

    Longshanks had it right – why on earth do we have so many of these cunts in public life?

  288. 288
    unplugged says:

    If you were a fella you’d know.

  289. 289
    Screwed taxpayer. says:

    Unfortunately its not just Labour. Tory Boys Dave and George are still running a deficit of 500 MILLION POUNDS A DAY.
    They haven’t got the guts to cut all benefits and public sector pay and pensions by 20% immediately, and stop all the HS2 type vanity projects outright etc.etc. Plan A*****
    Don’t fxxk about. DO IT !!!
    What we need is the financial collapse of several top football clubs to bring home to the stupid fxxking peasants that the UK is bankrupt.

  290. 290
    Gordon Brown says:

    i am thinking of having my balls injected with monkey products

  291. 291
    The Paragnostic says:


    You missed the bubbles ;-)

  292. 292
    Close it down ... says:

    Like in the Bourne Identity… It is time to close down the operation.
    The labour Party has been unsuccessful.

  293. 293
    Eeyore says:


    Hang on a minute though, the Missus says they can’t all be crap, but it is hard searching for anything in today’s world that doesn’t measure up to crap, crap and more crap.

    All we have to look forward to now is Yesterday.

  294. 294
    Mrs. Ball-Scooper ( triple flipper ) says:

    I’ve already done that. The result is an obnoxious loser who sweats and blinks all the time.

  295. 295
    Really? says:

    The show had other, darker delights.

    S&P is quoted as saying the agreement reached at Eurozone’s December meeting “has not produced a breakthrough of sufficient size and scope to fully address [its] problems… a reform process based on a pillar of fiscal austerity alone risks becoming self-defeating”.

    Abstractions like ‘The Market’ represent only B-movie villains within the EZ bubble. However, when an accredited agency tells them that they appear neither to know or understand the problems it is having to face, its Ieaders should put aside pride and look way, way outside the box for solutions.

  296. 296
    Bogeyman says:

    Well done, Guido – I see you’re posting on CiF.

    Guido points out that Zapthecrap has not showed up to comment on Balls’s U-turn. For non-followers, Zap is a regular Ciffer who is consumed with hatred for anyone more solvent or successful than himself. All Tories (that’s anyone to the right of Marx) are liars, cheats or vermin.

    So yes, where is Zap? I recall he posted here recently…

  297. 297
    Cynical B. says:

    Guess the evil Thatcherite policies referred to, are those from Mr Micawber,

    the evil philosophy that you can’t spend more than is earned.

    Bring forward Soshalism so we can Spend / Borrow / Spend ~ for ever

  298. 298
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    The NHS geriatric wards are already doing a grand job on behalf of the Greens, as is abortion on demand. Slow down immigration and we’ll be down to 40,000,000 in no time.

  299. 299
    They're all the same says:

    Of course there’s no alternative. Not if you’re a capitalist party like ‘Labour’.

    Blair’s ‘if we can’t call ourselves New Tories, ‘New/Blue Labour’ will do’ strategy was a stroke if genius. Problem is, they will have lost almost all of their core support and are held in contempt by everyone else.

    Throwing scraps to your supporters whilst entering wars, getting cheap labour in for British capitalists and toadying up to the likes of Fred Goodwin who were ‘keeping Britain booming’ was never going to work forever.

  300. 300
    Really? says:

    Do you think his voters would (i) find his comments as vile as anything that David Cameron has said about a serious mental health condition called ‘Tourette’s Syndrome’, or (ii) agree with him?

  301. 301
    Ghost of Steve Jobs... says:

    Feel you deserve better…. And you will get better.

    But not if you try and gain at the expense of another.
    How times change.

  302. 302
    Bugler Bert says:

    WHAT A WEEK – the Frogfarters losing their Triple ‘A’, next Liebour saying Osborne was right after all…….Any Chance of Dirty Dick getting a well-deserved boot where it hurts?

  303. 303
    nellnewman says:


    apparently bullyballs thinks he’s going to win back the public trust with these , frankly unbelievable, statements.

    a five year old could have told him to save his breath because he has less hope of winning back public trust, after what he’s done to the economy and the education system, than brown has of becoming labour leader again.

  304. 304
    Fabians are Evil says:

    Read this and be scared – we have been ‘played’ for far too long


  305. 305
    AC1 says:

    Oh I’m definitely against copyright subsidies.

    Also think he did a bit more than just what you mentioned…

  306. 306
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  307. 307
    Hang The Bastards says:

    8. Blame it all on those who have to put it right

  308. 308
    nellnewman says:

    What the devil’s CiF? It used to be something I cleaned my sinks with.

  309. 309
    Billy's "special" proctologist says:

    ….as is his anal tract.

  310. 310
    Raving Loon says:

    RT is a good source of news, it’s like excaping the propoganda bubble and looking at things from the outside. Only downside is that they give Russia an easy ride, but in most other cases they’re great.

  311. 311
    Malarial Mosquito says:

    Since the American EPA banned DDT to keep the Greenies sweet, me and my mates have killed over 50 million (mainly women & kids) in Africa alone.

    Green Power = Black Death – eco-bastards make the Nazis look like amateurs and rednecks like Mother Theresa.

  312. 312
    Bogeyman says:

    The Guardian’s “Comment is Free” section. It doesn’t clean drains – it blocks them.

    HERE is the Balls story. It’s not strictly under Comment is Free but it does allow comments

  313. 313
    Billy's "special" proctologist says:

    I have to say, to me it looks more like Elvis but having spent a lifetime focusing on winking arseholes, my eyesight isn’t what it used to be.

  314. 314
  315. 315
    Another Engineer says:

    Negative feedback? Who’d have thought it, eh.

  316. 316
    Another Engineer says:

    What happened to the rest of that photo? I’m sure there was a fake backside in the original.

  317. 317
    AC1 says:

    Yes, I was taught such crap myself.

    It’s why I favour learning over teaching. You don’t half get taught a load of crap.

  318. 318
    Gonk says:

    They’re really quite good at tribalism.

  319. 319
    Cynical B. says:

    I noticed that.

    How stupid can she and her offspring be, or were they put up to it by AlJaPravda

  320. 320
    JH says:

    Fix your choice of browser, you buffoon.

    I recommend Opera – it will make your internet connection feel about 5x faster than any version of IE, which just seems to get worse and worse.

    I like the way it takes ages to load, as it farts about with ‘Accelerators’.

  321. 321
    Another Engineer says:

    Surely not in his constituency?

    Could have had some fun today going into the Mexborough job centre pretending to be out of work…..

    “I have a bit of work experience as an extra in Nick Park films. I’ve not done much else because people keep calling me weird every time I appear for an interview. Do you think I could become Leader of Her Majesty’s Opposition? I think I’m cut out for it…”

  322. 322
    Constipated says:

    iCouldnotgiveashit either. But I would like to.

  323. 323
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Ah. Lady Day.

    Supremely lovely.

  324. 324
    HS2 Stinks says:

    Also can the mad HS2 project.

    Freeze all local government spending on useless road signage telling you there is a bend ahead etc. The whole of the UK is covered in bends. There should just be one sign at the exit from Dover, ‘Bends all over the UK’.

    Turn off all the useless lights. Large chunks of the M25 don’t have lights and you don’t even notice as you drive from the lit section to the unlit.

    We can see all the waste around us, so why can’t the shyster Camoron.

    I’m beginning to hate him almost as much as Gordoom because I don’t think he is clinically insane.

    No wonder we’re all pissed off !

  325. 325
    Constipated says:

    I think I’m in love with you.

  326. 326
    Constipated says:

    Harder, faster, deeper.

  327. 327
    Another Engineer says:

    Surely not in his constituency?

    Could have had some fun today going into the Mexborough job centre pretending to be out of work…..

    “I have a bit of work experience as an extra in Nick Park films. I’ve not done much else because people keep calling me weird every time I appear for an interview. Do you think I could become Leader of Her Majesty’s Opposition? I think I’m cut out for it…”

  328. 328
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Ed Balls has jjust been on Channel 4 News. He talks absoloute shit, has no argument, but worst of all makes no sense whatsoever.

  329. 329
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    I don’t think that was the real Zapthecrap. I shouldn’t think he (or indeed she) knows who Guido is never mind posting here.

    It was some mischeif maker taking the piss I” be bound.

    The Zapthecrap is hillarious. The absolute definition of ‘knee-jerk’.

  330. 330
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    BTW is that the real Guido posting on CiF?


  331. 331
  332. 332
    Barbara Thingy says:

    You’re like a naughty dog sniffing at a stranger’s arsehole, dear. HEEL!

  333. 333
    P e e S t a i n s says:

    It’s all Billy. Get over it.

  334. 334
    Gonk says:

    2015 Black is not white
    2016 Black is white

  335. 335
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Where is Diane Abbott? Why is she hiding away. Why has Brillo not interviewed her about her racist comments?

  336. 336
    Cynical B. says:

    Fare thee well and leave us in peace.

    But if you think you’re gonna piss on us with your Deva Max, you’ve got another think coming.

    Don’t call us we’ll call you.

  337. 337
    Mario Monti says:

    The EU Commisariat appointed the wrong Captain.

  338. 338
    Displaced Brummie says:

    So, the much vaunted Labour Alternative Master plan is that there IS no Labour Alternative Master Plan!

    They are fucked.

  339. 339
    Nurse Botha says:

    Yes, Primate Minister. Now, please desist from flinging your seed at the ladies, dear. It confuses them. Well, once more then.

  340. 340
  341. 341
    The Pedagogue says:

    Nice one, threw me for a moment

    but I think it’s ‘cites’.

    Sites are where the windmills are sited.

  342. 342
    Piscino di Bonaguido says:

    Like this ? :

         °         °          °          °
          °       °     α      °          °
           °      °   α       °          °
          °        °     α   °          °
         °          °        °           °
        °          °          °           °
         °          °          °  α      °
          °        °            °         °
  343. 343
    Cynical B. says:

    They’re part of a large community of self regarding twerps who are experts because they can spout endless clever sounding drivel.

    There’s loads of them and because they’re experts they’re rolled out everytime to spout more expert bollocks.

    We should have the list of them that BBPravda uses so we can ‘mute’ them on sight.

    My unfavourite is W. Hutton, a latter day J. Maynard Bollocks.

  344. 344

    So glad that at least one more person has seen it.

  345. 345
    Nothing better to do. says:

    Exactly. Spending goes up every month. Cam and Os are just another pair of big state zombies.

  346. 346
    Now It Can Be Revealed! says:

    You’re right, Nell; here he is, later on in the evening:

  347. 347

    Only if he gets elected, which is unlikely, but still an astute observation of the man and the state of politics.

  348. 348
    Blog Totty In Residence says:

    Alizee is still AAA in my book.

  349. 349
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    I don’t understand any of this economics nonsense, but I do like a good shag. Boaz.

  350. 350

    Depends to whom you are replying … ;-)

  351. 351
    Gonk says:

    Another BBC favourite deemed so impartial they gave him a go
    chairing The Moral Maze. They make me puke.

  352. 352
    Shortsighted wanker watch says:

    Indeed and while your at it please sign this document in which you relinquish any contributions made by either my or anyone elses children by way of tax funded services to you in your old age. May you lie in your own piss in peace and quiet.

  353. 353
    gerbils says:

    These evil bastards know that the bigger the lie, the more chance it has of becoming the truth.

  354. 354
    Shortsighted wanker watch says:

    Or for that matter also including anything at all which would have been provided to in your old age by any of our children. They hate you already.

  355. 355
    Blog Totty In Residence says:

    Some of us like quality over quanTITY. You must be from Middlesbrough or some other shithole.

  356. 356
    A plea to Guido says:

    Guido, please stop that horrible face of his opening its eyes!

    You can see the shit inside his head when they’re open.

    Bad enough when it comes out his mouth.


  357. 357
    Gonk says:

    Oi, she’s nicked my boots and my dog’s collar.

  358. 358
    The Paragnostic says:

    I read it, but was none the wiser – I’m yet to be persuaded that the opinions of a bunch of geography teachers with sandals and wind farm shares constitute “science” in any sense that I’d accept.

    Stands to reason that the earth has many feedback mechanisms, or it would have gone tits up billions of years ago when the first oxygen using / CO2 emitting creatures emerged. The effects of variations in the Earth’s orbit and the Sun’s output are far greater than currently allowed for, as well.

    Nice to see that someone has nailed one mechanism down – but the money involved in spreading fear about CO2 means that the geniuses with the leather elbow patches from the UEA and their friends from Greenpeace / WWF / Al Gore’s Carbon Credit Hedge Fund etc. will still control the agenda for far too long.

  359. 359
    female engineer says:

    The sure start up the road was always empty- the mums liked our church mums & toddlers group better as ‘we didn’t preach to them’ hahaha; and it is staffed by volunteers…..the sure start wimmin used to come into our group and pester them until we told them to go away.

  360. 360
    The Paragnostic says:

    I prefer my women post-pubescent, thankyou.

    I shall now retire with a box of Kleenex and thoughts of Sarah Teather.

  361. 361
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Most people stop bed-wetting on reaching 6 years of age. For most of the Loony Left, it’s a chronic condition. I can find more gratuitously vile comments about Conservatives every day on CiF, or for that matter from the tweets of the Honourable Lady for Hackney.

  362. 362
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Did you notice that the ball has seamed to the Right?

  363. 363
    all about alizee says:

    Looks like you’ve got another obsession on your hands Beast.

  364. 364
    Tant pis says:

    Sehr gut Paragnostic. Perhaps you could repeat your tour de force with a version of Der Fliegende Nokia….

  365. 365
    AC1 says:

    While they are similar, they are not all the same.

    They are all certainly totally anti-capitalist.

  366. 366
    ewe won't believe it! says:

    Don’t be too hard on the taffy, at least Teather is human…..I think.

  367. 367
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Dear Boy, Ramsey MacDonald, Attlee, Wilson. Callaghan, Blair and Brown never knew how to get the economy going either. Only Attlee had an excuse. Fiscal incompetence is part of Labour’s DNA.

  368. 368
    The Paragnostic says:

    Waiting for Gordo
    A short play by SamuelMargaret Beckett

    Scene – A palace, Westminster. Two scruffy types are waking up under the Dispatch box. A dim light shines through the House

    Vladmili: Well – itth morning again. Did you thleep well?
    Edstragon: Not too well – bloody Tourettes kept me awake again, and what with this endogenous growth on the end of my knob it took ages to drift off.
    Vladmili: I tried to thleep, on those bencheth over there, but thothe beathtly Bullingdon boyth beat me again. Tell me a thtory to make me feel better.
    Edstragon: A story? What sort of story?
    Vladmili: The one about the Thaviour – that wath a good one. How he thaved the world and wath done down by the Pharithees and the Murdochiteth.
    Edstragon: Oh, that one. I knew him well, you know – it was I who taught him the art of PFI, and the magic of hiding debt. His magnificence was something to behold, and when he chose to strike down the wicked with a Nokia from on high, the very earth did tremble.
    Vladmili: Tho where ith he now? He promithed he would return.
    Edstragon: Nobody knows – after he was betrayed by Sue, and crucified upon the ballot box, he went to the far North that is called Fucking Scotland, whence he came in the first place, and has not been sighted since. There was one day, when rumours of shining radiance on the shores of Fucking Scotland abounded, but of the Saviour there was no sign.
    Vladmili: But – ith he not thtill ecthpected?
    Edstragon: Yes, but not this week. Maybe when his great foe, the Grinning Fool returns from his journey among the Israelites, we shall see him.
    Vladmili: Ah – I thould never ecthpect him in thith plathe, then?
    Edstragon: Only if you can find the expenses office – I hear tell he must come soon, for to make a claim on the public.

    The light fades – our two protagonists continue their endless, fruitless wait for Gordo.

  369. 369
    Bogeyman says:

    How do we know that is the real Guido saying “No”? There are no spelling mistakes for starters.

  370. 370
    have nice life says:

    Guido is recovering after a hard day at Peppa Pig World. Please direct your comments to his amanuensis, Hair Bear.

  371. 371
    swingers says:

    Are these fellas like Ian and Jeanette Krankie?

  372. 372
    Constipated says:

    Anyone who will listen.

  373. 373
    The Doddering Old Fart says:

    I once knew a lady who had no breasts on the front just one in the middle of her back. She was no good in bed but nice to dance with.

  374. 374
    pigs in space says:

    But we should keep the blue bits on the union flag for aethetic reasons, and Karen Gillan, otherwise bye bye, being nice knowing you.

  375. 375
    Constipated says:

    Can you pull the poo out of my bottom. It’s kinda stuck.

  376. 376
    winner! says:

    “Fantastic! This is not a joke! You are our 1,000,000th visitor”

    What a lucky boy, I’ve been this three days in a row!

  377. 377
    AC1 says:

    those things are squishy, did ‘elf and safety OK this? High heals plus squishy floor = accident.

  378. 378
    nellnewman says:

    You forget the ipcc and the railway driver who’s made £millions in his home country out of this!!

  379. 379
    Bogeyman says:

    Tough titty. You Paddies voted for full European integration and they showered you with cash. You can now lie in the bed you made.

    Anyway, as the Director of “Integrating Ireland”, Dr. Jean Pierre Eyanga, says at 1:40 “For the future of this country, immigrant (sic) are not the problem. Immigrant (sic) are part of the solution.” He should know – he is Congolese. And funded by the Irish government.

    And what are you complaining about? The girlie at 1:04 is rather nice.

  380. 380

    Don’t disagree with a word you say.

    My point is that there was some potential evidence to the contrary of the intended conclusions of the AGW brigade that they clearly and deliberately chose to ignore. I hold no brief for any point of view simply because I do not know – but I do have the intellectual honesty to admit it. No single factor is ever likely to be conclusive.

    An interesting side-issue is that if you take any situation and consider its odds in occurring (including each of our own existences), you will find that they are so long that you could logically form the conclusion that they would probably never occur. But they do. Such is the nature of the relationship between statistical probability and real life.

    The current state of the world is obviously subject to the same rules.

  381. 381
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    Filth, the loony left are finished.

    It’s what happens next which is the problem.

    Cameron and his chums are pissing in the wind at the moment. This country urgently needs a truly right wing leader that will once and for all rid us all of the scum that has wrecked this once fine country.

  382. 382
    AC1 says:


  383. 383
    AC1 says:

    You sure?

    Maybe she was looking Sheepish?

  384. 384
    AC1 says:

    If you’ll also let me opt out of the little shits other expenses too. 6Billion people on the planet didn’t need a subsidy to have sex. Are you and your wife so ugly other people should pay you to bump uglies?

  385. 385
    The Paragnostic says:

    Although I may be statistically unlikely, about the only thing that I can be sure of is my own existence – I merely infer the existence of other beings like myself as being highly likely.

    It may turn out that we are all part of a single conscience – an Atman or similar, but I earnestly hope that this is not the case because sharing anything other than a basic bodyplan and a language with (for example) Gordon Brown would be a major disappointment.

    I’ve been reading Russell’s Analysis of Mind over New Year – I was trying to get through Santanyana’s Life of Reason, but he’s just too metaphysical for my poor head. That, plus learning some functional programming stuff, is at least keeping the dementia at bay, but it is leading to an unhealthy amount of introspection. ;-)

  386. 386
  387. 387
    The Paragnostic says:

    Ah, well – if you don’t like it, pseud yourself.

  388. 388
    The Paragnostic says:

    Dog forbid, nell – we need David Davis, a proper person.

    Boris is far too clever and I never trust clever posh boys.

  389. 389

    Now I see why Edstragon can cause headaches… and Vladmili walks with a lithp.

    We are all born mad. Some retrain so.

  390. 390
    Look out there's a Sputnik coming says:

    Spacecraft Could Crash Land On M4 Corridor


  391. 391

    Read Sprigge’s Santayana. The only unified approach I have seen (Santayana did not write to demonstrate his consistency, which is unfortunate.)

    Strange that Russell was so concept-adverse in AoM.

  392. 392
    nellnewman says:

    hmm. DavidDavis. Possibly.

    Boris. DavidDavis. At least the tories are spoilt for choice. More than can be said of labour!

  393. 393


    How do you keep all that white space underwater?

  394. 394
    nellnewman says:

    And I know we shouldn’t kick them when they’re down. But gordon kicked us whe he was chancellor and them pm – robbing our pensions etc.

    So I think it’s appropriate to turn that old fairground call around when referring to labour ‘ every one’s a loser folks’

  395. 395
    Desperate Yvette says:

    Yes — Yes — YEESSSS !!!

  396. 396

    Excellent for analysis but not historically factual.

    Kinnock could not utter a single sentence in 30 seconds.

  397. 397
    Anonymous says:

    “I’ve been reading Russell’s Analysis of Mind over New Year”

    Haha, Russell ffs! Get a life.

  398. 398
    nellnewman says:

    Anywhere from the M4 corridor to the falklands islands. That sounds about as precise as militwit’s blank sheet of paper doesn’t it?

  399. 399
    Bogeyman says:

    Looks like she’s been opening beer bottles with her teeth.

  400. 400
    nellnewman says:

    ‘Night Folks. God Bless.

  401. 401
    DP says:

    For how much longer can we afford to have William Hague as Foreign Secretary, a promiscuous closet homosexual who is clearly being controlled and blackmailed by foreign interests hostile to this country?

  402. 402
    Screwed taxpayer. says:

    And stop gritting country roads whenever the temperature drops below 2 degrees just because the chelsea tractor drivers are incompetent prats

  403. 403

  404. 404
    Piscino di Bonaguido says:

    Thought you knew all this html stuff – or was that before your time ?

  405. 405

    I would hope you are not full of shit.

    A rose by any other name etc..

  406. 406
    The Paragnostic says:

    I remember seeing Max Wall and Leo McKern of blessed memory do Godot back in the mid 80s at the Library Theatre in Manchester – one of the best bits of theatre I have seen. There’s a recording of bits of the play they did for the OU somewhere in the BBC vaults – I wish they’d show it again.

  407. 407
    Screwed taxpayer. says:

    Why was the above moderated? No non PC “n” words? No obscenities? No mention of the good ol’ B——-N—–P

  408. 408
    The Bloke That Put The "Twit" in Twitter says:

    Watch out– Billy’s “kicking ass and taking names”:


  409. 409
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    I was going to say – whatever you do, don’t cast Patrick Stewart & Ian McKellen. I saw them do it at Malvern.

    Utter shite.

  410. 410
    The Paragnostic says:

    Now, now – which foreign interests do you have in mind? All our politicians, to a greater or lesser extent, serve more than one master – why should Billy Vague be singled out?

  411. 411
    Bzzzzzzzz says:

    It wőn’t bė thăt lőng bėfőrė mălărıă ıs băck ın thė Essėx mărshės, I rėckőn. It wăs őnly 1950 whėn ıt dıėd őŭt.

    Alwăys ă gőőd gămė. Whăt’s thė wőrld’s dėădlıėst ănımăl? Is ıt ă lıőn? A tıgėr? A hıppő? A rėd-băck spıdėr?

    Nőpė. A ıts ă fsckıng mőzzıė. Dŭh.

  412. 412
    Randall says:

    The video that explains everything and nothing about politics, and those who engage in it:

  413. 413
    Anonymous says:

    Ironically, Paragnostic and CRMM ARE the Vladimir and Estragon of order_order.com.

  414. 414
    The Paragnostic says:

    Patrick Stewart found his level doing Star Trek, and should have stuck to it. Not seen much of McKellen’s work, but he’s a shouty queen, so I don’t go out of my way to watch him.

    Most of the thespian class seem to be Labourites addicted to public subsidy, so best avoided unless one has to encounter them.

  415. 415
    Johna says:

    A bit like a ship leaving Rome and sailing into the open sea and hitting rocks.

  416. 416

    The windmills will be cited wherever they are sited.

  417. 417
    Pundit Too says:

    Labour never had a plan as their strategy was to continually complain about the lack of coalition plans and those they had were not working.
    Unions, BBC and Guardian were all on the same page as Labour, though at time they all sote voce asked Red Ed and Brown Balls where are Labour’s plans?
    Brown Balls is still getting positive propaganda on BBC in spite of 80% of the population wishing him to emigrate to a more satisfyingly healthy country for him such as Afghanistan, Pakistan or North Korea.
    We would gladly contribute for him and his wife on this travel plan.

  418. 418
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I like looking at myself

  419. 419
    Chris Bryant says:

    Jealously will get you nowhere, he has the tightest arse in Westminster.

  420. 420
    Tant pis says:

    Excellent paragnostic…. I can’t wait for the sequel, ‘A tale of two Eds’!

  421. 421
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    A comment on the New Statesman blogs reads:

    “I’m writing to my union today to withdraw from the political levy,and to urge them to withdraw funding from the Labour party,if the likes of Balls and the embrace austerity camp have won the argument in Labour;Balls is a expense cheat,a chancer and a liability.”

    Ha ha hah ha! Oh, life’s good!

  422. 422
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    why is everybodys so mean

  423. 423
    Envious Yvette says:

    She’s doing a Saturday double shift at the Brixton Parlour. They’re doing two supersize cowgirl massages for the price of one if you’re up for it.

  424. 424
    Anonymous says:

    They are all the same.

  425. 425
    Now we have the Blinky Curse says:

    Peppa Pig apparently makes children behave badly. That’s what happens when you have a bully associated with your product.



  426. 426
    fallatio hornblower says:

    Sounds like my kinda girl.

  427. 427
  428. 428
    Anonymous says:

    what has this got to do with it?

  429. 429
  430. 430
    Anonymous says:

    At least it keeps the little fucker busy and off these pages.

  431. 431
    Cassandrina says:

    Perhaps it would be best for the world if Blinky Balls and his better half were exported to Cuba to fix their economy?
    Its a total win-win situation except for his better half.

  432. 432

    So what floats your philosophical boat, Anonymong, that you can look down on Russell?

  433. 433
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    How much longer ? Well, looks like the Tories could be in office for about 30 years looking at the calibre of the opposition they face.

  434. 434
    Anonymous says:

    Lol! You may as well inject bleach straight into the ventricles of the brain for all the good Russell is gonna do ya. So tell me, what have you got from Russell? His categories are all to fuck for a start.

  435. 435
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    Fame at last !!

  436. 436
    Mrs. Ball-Scooper ( triple flipper ) says:

  437. 437
    The Blinky Curse says:

    I don’t know which word’s being modded but here’s another go.

    Reports say cartoon Pe p pa Pig is making kids misbehave. Not surprising when you remember bully Blinky used the character at the last election.

  438. 438

    That won’t do.

    You pour scorn. So easy.

    Set out a position – any position – and I guarantee that someone will pull it to bits. I might do that myself.

    Come on, big mouth.

  439. 439
    Frank Carson says:

    What do muslims do at the weekend?

    They get shiite faced.

  440. 440
    Anonymous says:

    Ditch all the false dichotomies and dualisms, this is a good place to start –

    “It is the courage to make a clean breast of it in the face of every question that makes the philosopher. He must be like Sophocles’ Oedipus, who, seeking enlightenment concerning his terrible fate, pursues his indefatigable inquiry even though he divines that appalling horror awaits him in the answer. But most of us carry with us the Jocasta in our hearts, who begs Oedipus, for God’s sake, not to inquire further.”

    Come back when you’ve at least got that far.

  441. 441
    Piscino di Bonaguido says:

    Funny, because if it wasn’t for earwigging on your conversations with Para ….. All you have to do is this :


    ….. but then, of course, you can’t see what I did.
    You might think that showing the workings inside that would work but it doesn’t :


    ….. ho hum !
    It works like italicising or emboldening (?) but you use ‘pre’ instead. You then get to do silly things like :

    Dealer : S  ♠7 4
    Vuln : N-S  ♥K 5
                ♦K 10 9 8 7 4
                ♣9 7 2
    ♠A 10 3                    ♠Q J 9 8 6 5
    ♥A J 9 3    W           E  ♥10 7 6 4 2
    ♦5 3                       ♦Q
    ♣K Q 10 6         S        ♣4
                ♠K 2
                ♥Q 8
                ♦A J 6 2
                ♣A J 8 5 3

    which isn’t perfect (don’t know if non-Ford colours can be used) and was probably doing it the hard way.
    Very educational, this site, eh ?

  442. 442

    Where would the financial sector go for a bailout should the protaganists of austerity demonomics have their 0% tax rate/shrunken nutshell state provision utopia? The simplistic economic comparison of a household budget is also just the 21st century evolution of the early 20th century wisdom that believed that economies were driven by solar variations in the twinkling sky above. The fact that you’d probably get more sense from an astrologer than a ‘self-regulating’ market fantasist says it all. For this has been the philosophy that has driven the last 30 years of greed is good fetishism.

    The market knows best. It cannot be wrong. In other words, ‘the force’ is with us and the market will surpass all in its propensity to lead us to salvation. That this hocus pocus has been proven proposterous and obsolete doesn’t appear to have hammered reality home to the zealots of bloated wealth and austerity compliant fanaticism. Perhaps their egos are bigger than their collective IQ’s or perhaps they still believe the Earth is flat. Who knows? Who cares?

    Either way it is vital that we change course and leave this sinking wreckage of a condemed economic system before it engulfs everything left that hasn’t already been devoured by corrupt cartels siphoning the spoils of the world’s resources in a vain attempt to sustain an artificial bubble of cocooned from reality executive pay hikes (in the midst of the worst economic downturn in decades? What the f**k?) that should have been burst many years ago if the poitical or financial class had the vaguest concept or grasp of reality.

    The truth is though, it hasn’t. It continues to deceive itself that it can continue feasting itself as if nothing has changed. And the public sector is not just being used as a prop to maintain this insanity, it is being used to accelerate the rate at which the top earners reward themselves and the increasing disparity of their unsustainable yet spiralling wage growth which is being subsidised by stagnating and ever decreasing wage growth at the middle and bottom end of the wage spectrum.

    The neo-liberals may continue to argue that public spending is the root of all evils yet are perfectly happy to see Government interference when it benefits their own warped and self-regarding agendas. It is always waste if it is public sector spending on health, education and social housing. Even though investment in these areas has been proven time and again to raise a country’s GDP the short termist self-interest of the right-wing establishment that is run by millionaires fails to apply such reasoning. Therefore they portray the federal reserve as something to be hoarded in the casino vaults until the small minority of vested interest financial cliques have cashed in their chips, squandered their bonuses and left everyone else but themselves with the burden of picking up the tab.

    The recurring charge that Government should have fixed the roof whilst the sun was shining pales into absurd insignificance when this financial mess has been caused by a banking sector that has stubbornly refused to show any responsibility or willingness to contribute enough assets in reserve to soften the impact when a severe economic crisis does hit home. It absolves itself of any responsibility safe in the knowledge that the big bad state will step into the breach as lender of last resort should they fall upon hard times.

    Which is when the banking sector privatises the profits and socialises the debt. Recklessness, in essence is the prevailing feature of laissez faire economics. One that will come back to haunt us time and again until someone is bold enough to stand against it. The reactionary right should be wary what they wish for though. After all, if the public sector is to completely absorb private principles, who will take sober resonsibility and restore order when the next drunken and unsustainable financial services free for all has pilfered all the profits with zero re-investment and the next asset bubble is set to burst? The taxpayer can’t keep this sinking wreckage of a busted flush economic ideology afloat forever.

  443. 443
    Mademoiselle Nika says:

    Merci, M’sieu Mike! Now, I know you ‘ave not downgraded ze Frensh!
    ‘Ow you say– Boaz?

  444. 444

    I have no problem with Schopenhauer. In fact, I have The World as Will and Representation volumes just a few feet away from me right now. I particularly like and agree with his notion that music actually embodies the will rather that just aping it.

    His views on Hegel are amusing.

    If you are a true disciple, you may face the occasional accusation of misogyny though.

  445. 445
    Its Not Even Started Yet says:

    Labour are still well entrenched and up to their thievery in a number of local authorities. Pickles needs to get off his fat arse and sort out the waste and corrruption in local gobernment that costs taxpayers vast sums. such

  446. 446
    laura says:

    What do they call an Irishman who can swim?

    A Welshman.

  447. 447
    Taxpayer says:

    Trouble is, tories at a local level are often appallingly inept. Have a look at the complete failure of the conservatives in Waltham Forest to provide any credible opposition at one of the worst Labour-run councils in the country: their leader has been absolutely useless and is even up to his neck himself in the O-Regen scandal.

  448. 448
    coffin robber says:

    O/T Alex Salmond’s wife is 75.

  449. 449

    It is very clever but I use computers to get results and I am less enthused by appеarances *green vegetable avoidance*. Don’t get me wrong. I would love to do what you have just done and I know it would not take long to master but I have to get my practical stuff done first. What I am able to do now is all using frigging discovery by accident.

  450. 450
    Anonymous says:

    Dear old Arthur, love him to bits.

  451. 451
    William Hague says:

    I am not Gay.

  452. 452
    billy the shit says:

    Nor me.

  453. 453
    The Paragnostic says:

    “false dichotomies and dualisms”

    I’d be happy to ditch dichotomies and dualisms, if you could suggest a suitable language in which to express a non-dualistic philosophy – language by its very nature leads to the separation of the thing from the thingness, as well as dividing the world according to various attributes of things.

    As a mere mathematician, I struggle to see far past Russell and Wittgenstein – Kant I can read without laughing, but the conflict between romanticism and general misanthropy in most of the other German ‘thought’ belongs more to the realm of cultural criticism than philosophy.

    Is that enough to get you started, Mr Anonymous?

  454. 454
    Wayne says:


  455. 455
    The Paragnostic says:

    I was thinking of “Blair’s Last Tape”…

  456. 456
    Chris Bryant says:

    Nor me

  457. 457
    The Paragnostic says:

    I think you’ll find the Irish swam to Jockland, dear.

  458. 458
    clear-eyed fabulist says:

    You should see the behaviour Hamas’ Mickey Mouse encourages in impressionable Palestinian kids. I’ll take my chances with Peppa.

  459. 459
    Seb Coe says:

    Nor me.

  460. 460
    Piscino di Bonaguido says:

    It wasn’t anything terribly clever, and it took ages jiggling the spacing to make it look right ! Was my explanation clear enough ? I have a couple of crib sheets now if that helps – hell, I can’t remember all this stuff.

  461. 461
    Anonymous says:

    It’s the quaint idea that you can understand something by reading Russell, take it away, and then build on that which shocked me tbh.

  462. 462

    If I were dealing my own cards they would be more like this:

    Dealer : S  ♠A K Q J
    Vuln : E-W  ♥A K Q J
                ♦A K Q J
                ♣A K Q
    ♠10 3 2                ♠9 8 6 5
    ♥9 3    W           E  ♥10 7 6 4 2
    ♦8 7 5 3               ♦4
    ♣10 6 2        S       ♣9 7 4
                ♠7 4
                ♥8 5
                ♦10 9 6 2
                ♣8 5 3

    So thanks for the lesson which I hope I have hacked profitably.

  463. 463
    Piscino di Bonaguido says:

    Very good ! A bridge too far, perhaps, but very good.

  464. 464
    The Paragnostic says:

    Ah well – we all have to start somewhere, and defining the terms in which we can legitimately think about ourselves and whatever else the world contains seems to be a pretty fair starting point to me.

    Much more than that and we enter the realm of the mystic and the fool – both charming in their own way but useful only as metaphor.

    I’ll stick to my limitations, and leave the metaphysics to those with a taste for it.

  465. 465

    No! Recycle!!!

    His Theory of Types was an excellent solution to the wrong problem.

    If I am lucky enough, I will recast it to do something much more useful for idealists, positivists and utilitarians alike.

    Unfortunately, it will not help the linguistics guys.

  466. 466
    Omar Sharif says:

    My friend the Count thinks you may have been cheating, CRMM.

  467. 467
    Anonymous says:

    “Ah well – we all have to start somewhere, and defining the terms in which we can legitimately think about ourselves and whatever else the world contains seems to be a pretty fair starting point to me.”

    It may be a pretty fair starting point, but then again it may be just a cul de sac, a design fault in the very make up of ‘reason’. I see you haven’t reached the horror stage yet, so we’ll have to leave it there.

  468. 468
    laura says:

    Jeez, they really are thick aren’t they?

  469. 469
    Hugh says:

    £2.5m claim on Mr Huhne. Erk. might have to sell some houses if the alleged offence is true.


  470. 470
    AC1 says:

    “P E A”

  471. 471
    AC1 says:

    Winnersh triangle twinned with bermuda?

  472. 472

    The Count might care to refer to Mr Schopenhauer, mentioned elsewhere here and with particular reference to his excellent The World as Will and Representation

    He will notice that I did not take sufficient care to ensure that the players’ designations were lined up, being satisfied that the rudiments were grasped. A failed attempt at colour follows:

  473. 473
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of says:

    Kazakhstan troops open fire on sacked oil workers
    protesters gunned down in the street
    Reports of arrested protesters being beaten to death in custody and who has the government just appointed as their trade ambassador
    A man where ever he shows up there is death and destruction
    You guessed it !

  474. 474
    White Genocide says:

    Immigration is through the roof in Ireland as most of the true Irish have fucked off to Oz and NZ so they say. Thousands of years of history and within only several decades the liberal elites have changed everything, even the very people of Europe.

  475. 475
    White Genocide says:

    You can’t talk about it, in fact many people wont even comment on your video as they’re scared of being called RACISTS!

  476. 476
    The Paragnostic says:

    Horror point?

    Try visualising different infinities, or understanding that there exist definable numbers that are not computable – once you plumb those depths of pure horror, the realisation that pure reason has its limits comes almost as a relief.

    Proposition 7 of the Tractatus – “what we cannot speak about, we must pass over in silence” is possibly the most liberating statement in all of philosophy, since it allows one to spot those who refuse to accept the limits of reason and to treat their assertions with the caution that is required.

  477. 477
    Omar Sharif says:

    The Count, while appreciating that you evidently like to have the odds stacked in your favour, merely felt a little peeved at being left short when his stature is already little more than that of a well-known short-arse of Gallic persuasion.
    Meanwhile, I notice that Schopenhauer was pre-dated by Hobbes who presumably, therefore, played a major part in forming the philosophy of the One known as Calvin.

  478. 478
    Paddy McShamus says:

    Top of the morning to yer!

  479. 479
    Wilberforce Claybourne Humphries says:

    What makes you think I am?

  480. 480
    Gordon Brown (Bingo Caller, Eye down) says:

    Ed Miliband faced new calls to rebuke Labour frontbencher Diane Abbott last night after she told a young, Tory-voting black graduate who asked her for work that she wasn’t doing the ‘black thing’ and should ‘go and work for a white Conservative’ instead.

    The new race row involving Ms Abbott comes two weeks after she was forced to apologise for saying ‘white people love to divide and rule’ following the trial of the killers of black teenager Stephen Lawrence.

    Politics graduate Jade Knight, 25, told yesterday how she approached Ms Abbott about the chances of work after recognising her at a branch of Boots in London’s Piccadilly.

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2086722/Work-white-Conservative-What-Abbott-told-Tory-voting-graduate-asked-job.html#ixzz1jVfGpgUX

  481. 481
    M says:

    After everything this Labour lot have said over at least the lastt 2 years Does anyone think this party will put the countries economy first or the labour parties union pimps 1st who’ve propped up this shower of shite to the tune of £ millions & filling the party with union cronies to control the other MPs . If want left of centre politics, lib dems your best bet . Though if you want reality based stuff simply don’t stray to the left .

  482. 482
    Wise up Lemmings says:

    There was never a Labour alternative plan, hence Miliband’s blank piece of paper routine.
    Aside from posturing and rhetoric, there is nothing between the coalition and Labour on any issue.
    It’s all carefully choreographed pretence and bluff.
    We have a three party system, with absolutely no choice, as they all peddle the same socialist, nanny state, big government bullshit.
    Wake up, you are being played.

  483. 483
    Fabians are Evil says:

    The Bastard is a Fabian and so it stands to reason he is up to no good.


  484. 484
    Relaunch No.4196 says:

    Don’t forget Ed is on Marr this morning for his latest relaunch.

  485. 485
    Our Denry says:

    Gideon, do not shout that too loudly, GCHQ will be picking up on that on their monitoring system and giving you a visit, to see where you get it from.

  486. 486
    Gordon Brown (Bingo Caller, Eye down) says:

    Good luck my Son.

  487. 487
    Archimedes says:

    Diane Abbott is next to have a relaunch. She’s just waiting for high tide and a fleet of tugs.

  488. 488
    Lou Scannon says:

    We need to lock up the bankers who are behind the train-wreck that is today’s economic system and start again. This looks interesting :


  489. 489
    Plausible explanation says:

    She hasn’t been on a cruise in the Med by any chance, has she? Waddling over to the starboard side because one of the restaurants there had wheeled-out the cake trolly?

  490. 490
    Granny Mede says:

    That’ll Costellot.

  491. 491
    Pull Ed's cord and he says:

    The government has acted in a reckless and irresponsible manner. In a reckless and irresponsible manner, the government has acted. I have decided to re-launch my party again, to relaunch my party again, I have decided.

    Mama! Ma-ma!

  492. 492
    Ed being aggressive is like a schoolboy having a tantrum says:

    Ed’s clearly been trained for this interview. He’s been taught to mimic Blair’s hand mannerisms and to be more aggressive in interrupting Andrew Marr. He’s also come with rehearsed lines like his “this reminds me of the 30s” bollocks. But what’s hilarious is the way he thinks he can talk out of both sides of his mouth by saying the cuts are wrong and then claiming there’s nothing odd about keeping the cuts.

  493. 493
    50 Calibre says:

    I am watching the idiot Miliband minimus on Marr’s show. I cannot believe that there is anyone in the Labour Party watching him with any ambition whatsoever for their views being taken on by the electorate so that the Labour Party can form the next government that isn’t considering all options between hiding behind the sofa to assassination to improve their chances of success.

    This boy is an idiot and those that put him there are bigger idiots and those that keep him there are beyond description.

  494. 494
    Gordon F Brown's former advisor says:

    Isn’t my leader doing well on Marr’s show. Wow!!!

    I wonder if Yvette would go downstairs and make me a cup tea!

  495. 495
    Dead Ed says:

    Ed has failed to answer a single question on Marr. He’s transparently been trained to sidestep questions with prepared monologues. My hatred for Miliband has actually increased.

  496. 496
    Michael Portillo says:

    It will take a lot more than that…

  497. 497
    Ed's mum says:

    Has anyone seen Ed’s dummy?

  498. 498
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    His predecessor had to be taught how to smile at the age of 55. Look how that turned out.

  499. 499
    Archie says:

    As I’ve said here before, Rat’s, it’s all tribal! My family was from industrial (as was) Yorkshire and they would – mostly – vote for a dead donkey with a red feather stuck up its @rse as long as it called itself Labour. On moving to leafier climes “dahn Sarf” Lo! I found the same thing with Tory voters! Of course, our newer “communities” fuck things up even further! It’s fucked! It really is.

  500. 500
    Archie says:

    Now THAT’S funny, BQMP!

  501. 501
    M says:

    If Milliband has any more clean sheets , Bristol city are gonna sign him up in goal

  502. 502
    Cynic says:

    Maybe Kinnock has told him it’s about time he fell in with the austerity agenda as ordered by Germany and France, or he won’t be able to get him a nice job in Brussels….

  503. 503
    Really? says:

    Schooo-ols… Schooo–ols,,, Schoo-ols.

  504. 504
    Anonymous says:

    Cam n Ed what a smart way to ensure the Scotch vote fot independence. Huzzah…………..


  505. 505
    Anonymous says:

    HMS Astute even more recently.

  506. 506
    Tra Li says:

    So sad though. 800 years of ‘oppression’ by John Bull – 80 years of independence,(sic). the pass then sold for Eu ‘gold’.


  507. 507

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