December 14th, 2011

Another Tory MP Snaps At Speaker

Keith Simpson has been gloriously indiscreet in a post PMQs chat with the Standard’s Craig Woodhouse:

“I do not have any time for the man. He has got a tin ear. He doesn’t know when to intervene or not… He comes out with these appalling cliches, all this business about ‘the public don’t like it, I don’t like it’, but I’m pretty sure my 88-year-old mother is sitting in front of the TV screaming that she does like it. (Burns) would happily take the rap but for once it wasn’t him. He picked on old Burnsy, who tends to be a serial offender, but in fact it wasn’t Burns – it was one of the younger lads standing to Burns’s left. I said to him, it’s like a man who is always speeding up and down the M11 and then gets caught when he is not driving. That’s life. It’s much easier to pick on a man who is a serial offender… Every time the Speaker interferes and leaps up and down he tends to bring out the worst in me.”

There’s even a Huhne joke for good measure. Simpson joins a growing list of Tory MPs willing to break cover and say out loud what many more of them are discuss privately. You might think that the mulled wine has been flowing all morning…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    even Mick was a better person for the job compared to Bercow.

  2. 2
    Going Postal says:

    where’s Billy… on the loo?

  3. 3
    Jimmy Sands says:

    “but I’m pretty sure my 88-year-old mother is sitting in front of the TV screaming that she does like it.”

    Game girl. What is she watching?

  4. 4
    Going Postal says:


  5. 5
    Special Ed says:

    In a word, the speaker and his wife are – classless.

  6. 6
    Jo says:

    Who cares what MPs think? He’s there to keep them in order, not pander to them.

  7. 7

    Not surprising. Labour should have expected this when they installed Bercow as Speaker, simply because they knew it would piss off the Tories.

    He demeans an ancient and noble office, and drags the whole political establishment even further into the depths. Which, admittedly, is difficult, given the lows to which it has sunk.

  8. 8
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Here I am !

    I was sitting an exam the other day when I realised that all the people involved within the questions had foreign names. It’s disgusting, I didn’t see a single British name.

    Anyway, I still think I passed that Criminal Law exam.

  9. 9
    Special Ed says:

    Ah!! This moderation system is as thick as pig excrement. How can we be expected to comment on an article about the spe@ker without being able to write spe@ker! ??

  10. 10
    Marmite says:

    Bercow = little farty c.u.n.t. Hope he & his smelly wife come to a really horrible end [soon].

  11. 11
    Special Ed says:

    The man has no class or in fact respect for the traditions that are inherent in his position. In short, he p1sses me off even more than the Eds.

  12. 12
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “Another Tory Lashes out at the Speaker”

    Is this also another George Osborne joke :-)

  13. 13
    BillyBob... says:

    hahahahahahahahaha :)

  14. 14
    Atar says:

    Bring back the sainted Betty!

    By the way, what’s Bercow like in that new Gervaise comedy series?

    Haven’t seen it yet.

  15. 15
    Osric Testicles says:

    Steady on, don’t get too carried away..

  16. 16
    Anonymous says:

    An educated man wouldn’t say ‘the public don’t like it.’

  17. 17
    BillyBob... says:

    There was a time when a runt would be drowned in a bucket of water…… oh happy days :)

  18. 18
    BillyBob... says:

    Steady on there, ’tis the season of peace and goodwill to all.

  19. 19
    BillyBob... says:

    A port side rectal licker ……

  20. 20
    Ed and his curiously morphing 'ooter says:

    Mither Thspeakerth my betht fwend

  21. 21
    the madcap laughs says:

    Full marks for trying :)

  22. 22
    testing says:


  23. 23
    Ed Wynne says:

    Coool moniker, man. *Ppuufffff*

  24. 24
    Gonk says:

    He’s an extra from Wind in the Willows.

  25. 25
    Paul, the psychic octopus (ret.) says:


  26. 26
    Special Ed says:

    Grammar is the least of his worries…

  27. 27
    Iain Dale's Dildo says:

    My names Billy and I’ve got a 10 foot w i lly
    I showed to the girl next door
    She though it was a sname
    And hit with a rake
    And, like the spe@ker, it’s only 5 foot 4

  28. 28
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    My name is also Billy (Bowden is the greatest umpire ever !) but my wi lly is only 3 inches. Its very sad, I p1 ss on my own (Ed) Balls.

  29. 29
    David Cameron's right of return says:

    Poor Serbian Christian minority in Kosovo getting fucked by the EU g-est’ap=po and this is all youve got to talk about

  30. 30
    Popeye says:

    The idiot Berk should go! Trouble is that I think that’s what he is angling after. Where to go, kicked to the Lords, so he can sit on his arse and collect without doing anything? Get sent to Euroland as another trougher. My best suggestion is to the Tower, then throw away the key.

  31. 31
    Special Ed says:

    Or in full nautical terms – A port side aft lapper.

  32. 32
    I go off on a bender says:

    Pissed as a fart, mate. Well done that man.

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    Suggest the Eiffel Tower;then throw him off.

  34. 34
  35. 35
    Rick Limerfuck says:

    There was an old poster named Billy
    Whose comments were never that silly.
    He won the cap comp
    Went off on a romp
    With leather-boys, and lost his lilly.

  36. 36
    google tells the truth says:

    Mr Speaker Bercow

    Google : Define an English person
    and there you have him.
    And many many more of our Honourable Members.

  37. 37
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    If the Speaker shut up and stopped whaffling, full of his over inflated self importance there would probably be time for another 30 questions.

  38. 38
    bent as a nine bob says:

    at least he’s a looker. I bet he doesn’t go short of cun*t.

  39. 39
    bent as a nine bob says:

    let’s hope the cun*ts all kill each other – at least that means they won’t be over here killing us.

  40. 40
    Anonymous says:

    No goodwill to that little T.U.R.D…

  41. 41

    Frank Field for Speaker. He’s a grand old liberal, after all.

  42. 42
    Special Ed says:

    Yes. Except I fear that some of the time it’s his wife’s.

  43. 43
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    After gingering-up Dave by calling an uninterrupted line of Eurosceptics in last week’s PMQW’s, I don’t think squeaker would be well received in Brussels.

  44. 44
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Bercow Go!

  45. 45
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Bloody EU involved in another game of silly buggers. so a load of apparatchiks refusing to declare northern Serbia a disaster area is sufficient reason to stop an aid convoy carrying humanitarian aid to fellow orthodox christians. no argument about the convoy manifest, just, you haven’t asked us please properly. Huhnes, the lot of them.

  46. 46
    Lay down Sally says:

    And after he achieves that his wife drags in down to yet another level.

  47. 47
    Philip Larkin says:

    My first names Billy
    Ive a ten foot Willy
    Which I showed off to my mum again
    She thought it was a snake
    So she hit it with a rake
    But tell me what the fucks a “sname”?

  48. 48
    Anonymous for obvious reasons says:

    I think you’ve just shivered me timber…

  49. 49
    tory bear's worst nightmare says:

    Is this the same Keith Simpson MP who has been caught speeding, been fined, reoffended then banned?

  50. 50
    Private Sponge says:

    Going by the photo, that’s Captain George Mainwaring surely.

  51. 51
    Labi Rinth says:

    Try woofer instead.

  52. 52
    Midget says:

    If anyone should shut the f*ck up, is that scrounging, attention seeking wife of his. He should being telling her to zip it.

  53. 53
    Gorbals Mick (I was the best) says:

    Give Bercow to the frogs, he can be Sarcos body double. Now what to do with Sally slag?

  54. 54
    HappyUK says:

    Even funnier, check out Keith Simpson in his earlier incarnation (circa 1991) as military historian on the Channel Four ‘After Dark’ discussion programme. One of the guests includes a suitably pissed Oliver Reed, whose interjections are priceless.


  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    The Yanks really are a bunch of bullies. Remember it was they who through the UN initially refused to describe the Rwanda massacres as genocide

Seen Elsewhere

Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath
Boris: Jihadis are W*nkers | Sun
Ed Miliband: International Sex Symbol | Telegraph
Javid: Let Tories Campaign For Out Vote | House
Ministry of Justice Loses Death Inquiry Data “In the Post” | TechnoGuido

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers