December 13th, 2011

Exclusive: Osborne Playing Field 
Chancellor Has Eyes Set on Kensington Seat

Never believe anything until it’s officially denied, but rumbles are reaching Guido from the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea. Sources within Kensington, Chelsea & Fulham Conservatives say that Malcolm Rifkind is set to retire at the next election. No doubt he will be Lord Rifkind before long. With the boundary changes set to slim down the number of seats in London, neighbouring MP Mark Field is set to lose his Cities of London and Westminster patch, so he is watching developments with more than a keen eye. However things aren’t going to be that simple…

Elsewhere the Chancellor is in a tight spot given his Tatton seat is set to be shredded by the Boundary Commission. Though officially it doesn’t exist, sources indicate that Osborne is at the top of the list to replace Rifkind. He’s good mates with the chairman, has a home in the constituency and has been less than subtly pressing the flesh at recent Tory association events. Needless to say this will, Guido suspects, not have gone down well with Mark Field…

UPDATE: Informed sources have been in touch to say that Rifkind’s retirement plans may be being made only by others. This re-draw could be a real cock-fight.


64 Comments

  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Can he do that? Just stand for another seat like that? is he in danger of losing his current seat?

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    *honourable

  3. 3
    This is what EU Democracy looks like says:

    Farage tells EU they’re sailing to disaster as guffaws and catcalls of the rest of European Parliament try to drown him out…

  4. 4
    AndyL says:

    I know you’re keen to be first, but next time please read the article and not just the headline

  5. 6
    Josiah Bartlett says:

    Where does the Tatton seat go to? It’s one of the safest Tory seats in the country so there will be a big chunk of Tory voters being added onto somewhere.

  6. 8
    I agree with Sally says:
    • 11
      Engineer says:

      Coming from someone who’s been trying for most of her life to be a distraction, that’s not altogether surprising.

    • 18
      Sophie says:

      Apart from semen dumpster has Sally ever had a career?

    • 32
      Anonymous says:

      It’s not surprising that most people think how politics and politicians, like most subjects, has been dumbed down these days after all, you only have to look at the office of the Speaker of the House of Commons! Comments like this from his wife absolutely confirm this too.

      This really is the kind of political shit that the public really hate. Crawl back into your hole and stop using the office of Speaker of the H of C to promote yourself and make money on the back of the people, fucking hell, there’s already enough arse holes doing that and we don’t need any more. Especially not from uneducated parasites like you.

    • 38
      GordnoB Rown says:

      I’ve been using that one for 18 months already.

  7. 9
    Engineer says:

    Actually, Tatton is basically Kensington with fields, so Osborne will be quite at home in the latter. Should cut his travel expenses and second home costs down a bit, as well.

  8. 12
    Grammar School Boy says:

    As I’ve said before watch for Ed Balls dashing impetuously North, to the new combine of Blyth Valley/Wansbeck when Ronnie Campbell retires – for the same reason as George’s change of parish.

    It must be Labour’s safest seat.

  9. 13
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    The hookers ahould be better in Kensington tho.

  10. 16
    Sophie says:

    Osborne:

    CUT SPENDING & TAXES YOU HOON!

  11. 25
    Brillo a voice in the wilderness says:

    Joy oh Joy. Brillo is live on the Telly saying the Austrians don’t like the outcome of last week’s meeting, the man who will be next French president will re-negotiate it, the german parliament don’t agree with it, the yanks are refusing to put any money into saving the Eurozone and last week’s meetung did nothing to save the Euro zone and Italy is going down the pan.

    Brillo must be the only perseon in the BBC to tell the truth about Europe.

    • 35
      Grammar School Boy says:

      Isn’t it wonderful to be isolated?

    • 50
      smoggie says:

      Sarkozy is getting desperate with a election looming (that’s an ELECTION). He’s seen off one contender with some dirty tricks in New York but can’t avoid his own unpopularity. What better way than to find a Rosbif to take the rap for his own failure to save the Euro?

      • 54
        Engineer says:

        Sarko’s best bet is to loose. Then he can snuggle up in comfort with Carla and the sprog (tadpole?), while somebody else copes with the fallout of a sinking currency.

  12. 26
    Disco Biscuit says:

    Mark Field is a complete wanker, which won’t have gone unnoticed in K&C…

  13. 31
    The lights are going out all over Europe...less than a week and that plan is already unravelling says:

    Under a week and the deal struck last Friday in Brussels is looking less like a lifeboat than Titanic..

    The opposition candidate for French Presidency says he will repeal the agreement,the Austrian President says its unconstitutional as does the Head of the German Parliament. Meanwhile Cameron says the IMF is to save countries NOT a currency and Obama’s spokesperson says “If you think the President is going to |Congress to get more money for Europe in an election year then you’re plaincrazy !!” The markets have passed their verdict…..as 10 Year Bond rates for Spain rise to over 5% and Italy over 7%

    Meanwhile whilst the European Parliament is having a laugh at UK we look like having the last laugh as Merkel is looking to hold yet another crisis summit to save the Euro before Xmas or at latest early in New Year…..

  14. 39
    Gordon Brown says:

    I have just been offered some tickets for “exclusive ringside action”

    should I go?

  15. 41
    Doctor Dobuggerall says:

    Sally Bercow would be an ideal candidate. Lives nearby too.

  16. 60
    PJD says:

    I would’ve thought Osborne will get the nomination for the proposed Northwich seat. It contains a large part of his existing Tatton seat.

  17. 61
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Corruption in action !

  18. 62
    JJB says:

    Well there are plenty of cocks!

  19. 64
    Andrew says:

    The rule is Never believe anything until it has been denied by TWO Government Departments.


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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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