December 13th, 2011

Exclusive: Osborne Playing Field 
Chancellor Has Eyes Set on Kensington Seat

Never believe anything until it’s officially denied, but rumbles are reaching Guido from the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea. Sources within Kensington, Chelsea & Fulham Conservatives say that Malcolm Rifkind is set to retire at the next election. No doubt he will be Lord Rifkind before long. With the boundary changes set to slim down the number of seats in London, neighbouring MP Mark Field is set to lose his Cities of London and Westminster patch, so he is watching developments with more than a keen eye. However things aren’t going to be that simple…

Elsewhere the Chancellor is in a tight spot given his Tatton seat is set to be shredded by the Boundary Commission. Though officially it doesn’t exist, sources indicate that Osborne is at the top of the list to replace Rifkind. He’s good mates with the chairman, has a home in the constituency and has been less than subtly pressing the flesh at recent Tory association events. Needless to say this will, Guido suspects, not have gone down well with Mark Field…

UPDATE: Informed sources have been in touch to say that Rifkind’s retirement plans may be being made only by others. This re-draw could be a real cock-fight.


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Can he do that? Just stand for another seat like that? is he in danger of losing his current seat?

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:


  3. 3
    This is what EU Democracy looks like says:

    Farage tells EU they’re sailing to disaster as guffaws and catcalls of the rest of European Parliament try to drown him out…

  4. 4
    AndyL says:

    I know you’re keen to be first, but next time please read the article and not just the headline

  5. 5
    Curious of Ashbourne says:

    Who’s Mark Field?

  6. 6
    Josiah Bartlett says:

    Where does the Tatton seat go to? It’s one of the safest Tory seats in the country so there will be a big chunk of Tory voters being added onto somewhere.

  7. 7
    Captain D says:


    Even though you spend an inordinate amount of time posting rubbish on a political website – you clearly know nothing about politics.

  8. 8
  9. 9
    Engineer says:

    Actually, Tatton is basically Kensington with fields, so Osborne will be quite at home in the latter. Should cut his travel expenses and second home costs down a bit, as well.

  10. 10
    Goddess, Empress, Dictator Frau Merkel says:

    This is all so unimportant. None of this will matter when I am runnning Britain by using my Limp-Dumb hamsters and Labour poodles.

  11. 11
    Engineer says:

    Coming from someone who’s been trying for most of her life to be a distraction, that’s not altogether surprising.

  12. 12
    Grammar School Boy says:

    As I’ve said before watch for Ed Balls dashing impetuously North, to the new combine of Blyth Valley/Wansbeck when Ronnie Campbell retires – for the same reason as George’s change of parish.

    It must be Labour’s safest seat.

  13. 13
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    The hookers ahould be better in Kensington tho.

  14. 14
    HM Chancellor of the Exchequer says:

    my seat is 24/7 open to allcumers.

    (Guido, quick, print that shit again about me and all the hookers I slep with.)

  15. 15
    Engineer says:

    Most of mid Cheshire is fairly staunchly Tory, so it probably won’t make much difference.

  16. 16
    Sophie says:



  17. 17
    notorious ladies' man Lembit says:

    fancy a lingerie shoot, big boy?

  18. 18
    Sophie says:

    Apart from semen dumpster has Sally ever had a career?

  19. 19
    José Manuel Durão Barroso says:

    I am running the Europe, not you Frau Merkel, not you Monsieur Sarkozy and certainly not you mister Dave.

  20. 20
    Captain Peacock says:

    And isn’t Tuesday Giro day?

  21. 21
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Thanks captian :)

  22. 22
    Captain Bigcock says:


  23. 23
    Fred the Shed says:

    It’s Giro day

  24. 24
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Well come on Captain D. give us all the benefit of your deep and extensive political knowledge then we can mark you out of ten.

  25. 25
    Brillo a voice in the wilderness says:

    Joy oh Joy. Brillo is live on the Telly saying the Austrians don’t like the outcome of last week’s meeting, the man who will be next French president will re-negotiate it, the german parliament don’t agree with it, the yanks are refusing to put any money into saving the Eurozone and last week’s meetung did nothing to save the Euro zone and Italy is going down the pan.

    Brillo must be the only perseon in the BBC to tell the truth about Europe.

  26. 26
    Disco Biscuit says:

    Mark Field is a complete wanker, which won’t have gone unnoticed in K&C…

  27. 27
  28. 28
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    But not as obliging as the sheep in Cheshire.

  29. 29
  30. 30

    Kensington Fields is in Dibden Purlieu.

  31. 31
    The lights are going out all over Europe...less than a week and that plan is already unravelling says:

    Under a week and the deal struck last Friday in Brussels is looking less like a lifeboat than Titanic..

    The opposition candidate for French Presidency says he will repeal the agreement,the Austrian President says its unconstitutional as does the Head of the German Parliament. Meanwhile Cameron says the IMF is to save countries NOT a currency and Obama’s spokesperson says “If you think the President is going to |Congress to get more money for Europe in an election year then you’re plaincrazy !!” The markets have passed their verdict… 10 Year Bond rates for Spain rise to over 5% and Italy over 7%

    Meanwhile whilst the European Parliament is having a laugh at UK we look like having the last laugh as Merkel is looking to hold yet another crisis summit to save the Euro before Xmas or at latest early in New Year…..

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    It’s not surprising that most people think how politics and politicians, like most subjects, has been dumbed down these days after all, you only have to look at the office of the Speaker of the House of Commons! Comments like this from his wife absolutely confirm this too.

    This really is the kind of political shit that the public really hate. Crawl back into your hole and stop using the office of Speaker of the H of C to promote yourself and make money on the back of the people, fucking hell, there’s already enough arse holes doing that and we don’t need any more. Especially not from uneducated parasites like you.

  33. 33
    EdButLookBalls says:

    “Kensington with fields”, I thought it was going to be ‘Kensington with Osborne’?

  34. 34

    It is getting rather cold, I’ll grant you.

  35. 35
    Grammar School Boy says:

    Isn’t it wonderful to be isolated?

  36. 36
    Steve Took says:

    Marc Bolan

  37. 37
    Engineer says:

    What a difference the size of an ‘f’ makes!

  38. 38
    GordnoB Rown says:

    I’ve been using that one for 18 months already.

  39. 39
    Gordon Brown says:

    I have just been offered some tickets for “exclusive ringside action”

    should I go?

  40. 40
    Engineer says:

    Sadly, I’m not familiar with Dibden Purlieu, but it sounds fairly Tory – which would fit the pattern, I suppose.

  41. 41
    Doctor Dobuggerall says:

    Sally Bercow would be an ideal candidate. Lives nearby too.

  42. 42
    Dave says:

    Yes! Rejoice! The noble peasant Ruskies are finally rising up and revolting against Putin’s tyrannical regime!

    This is very fortunate as it takes the heat off all the #OWS banker-bashing and crook pols shit going down in the U.S. and UK.

    Too bad it’s all funded, got-up and organised by criminal wall st./City banksters and their media lackeys, and intended to give the view to sap Brits and Yanks that their crook govts. and criminal banksters are better than their crook govts. and criminal banksters!

  43. 43
    Goddess, Empress, Dictator Frau Merkel says:

    Get back in your kennel or I will cut all your payments you naught poodle.

  44. 44
    smoggie says:

    He’s just being rhetorical.

  45. 45
    Engineer says:

    You went last May. Thank God.

  46. 46
    smoggie says:

    Aye, lad. And don’t forget to take a towell….

    Something to bite on.

  47. 47

    11,000 majority. Not bad.

  48. 48
  49. 49
    Disliker of Bankers says:

    Yeah, course he is (lend him a dictionary someone).

    Fred The Shred’s been in the news again. He’s my hero you know.

  50. 50
    smoggie says:

    Sarkozy is getting desperate with a election looming (that’s an ELECTION). He’s seen off one contender with some dirty tricks in New York but can’t avoid his own unpopularity. What better way than to find a Rosbif to take the rap for his own failure to save the Euro?

  51. 51
    Engineer says:

    On the edge of the New Forest, I see from my old Road Atlas. They tend to have their heads screwed on the right way round in that neck of the woods (pun not intended).

  52. 52
    Disliker of Bankers says:

    I believe some astonishingly rich footballers have homes there.

  53. 53
    Dobby says:

    What is?

  54. 54
    Engineer says:

    Sarko’s best bet is to loose. Then he can snuggle up in comfort with Carla and the sprog (tadpole?), while somebody else copes with the fallout of a sinking currency.

  55. 55
    Engineer says:

    They do. And not just footballers.

  56. 56
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Barroso, you are the CIA’s man. You started of as one of the leaders of the underground Maoist MRPP (Reorganising Movement of the Proletariat Party) then you joined the right-of-centre PPD (Democratic Popular Party, later PPD/PSD-Social Democratic Party). And now you’re one of the big nobs on the Euro-gravy-train. Remarkable career.

  57. 57
    Dave says:

    Guido, can you knock some of your usual standard pro-forma shite up about UK doing fantastically against the krauts et al, as regards the standard of living and the economy, because no fucker and his wife is believing the shite put out by Merv and his lackeys at the ONS about falling annual prices in food and petrol. Ta, thanks for all the wonderful shite you do. xxx Davey.

    The CPI rose by 0.2 per cent between October and November this year.

    The most significant upward contributions to the 1-month change in the CPI between October and November 2011 came from:

    • clothing & footwear: prices, overall, rose by 1.2 per cent between October and November.

    There were upward effects across a wide range of goods but particularly from garments

    • food & non-alcoholic beverages: the largest upward effects came from fruit, where prices rose by 6.4 per cent, and meat, where they rose by 1.6 per cent, a record increase for an October to November period.

    • furniture, household equipment & maintenance: by far the largest upward effect came from furniture & furnishings where prices rose by 2.0 per cent

    • housing & household services: the upward effect came from domestic heating where prices rose by 1.0 per cent, the largest rise for an October to November period since 2006.’

  58. 58
    bent as a nine bob says:

    not just their heads

  59. 59
    What a plonker. says:

    Only the female sheep.

  60. 60
    PJD says:

    I would’ve thought Osborne will get the nomination for the proposed Northwich seat. It contains a large part of his existing Tatton seat.

  61. 61
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Corruption in action !

  62. 62
    JJB says:

    Well there are plenty of cocks!

  63. 63
    Jimmy says:

    Of course the Chancellor would not need to claim a second homes allowance if only there was some sort of accommodation provided with the job.

    I’m sure Guido will be pouncing on that one any day now.

  64. 64
    Andrew says:

    The rule is Never believe anything until it has been denied by TWO Government Departments.

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