October 28th, 2011

Prezza’s Cabinet Office Rant

Guido’s ears in the Cabinet Office report that a certain former Deputy Prime Minister isn’t very happy. Apparently Prezza rang in yesterday to rant about the fact that his government credit card expenditure had been released. A spokesman for Prezza told Guido that “he rang the Cabinet Office for clarification as to whether they would be publishing expenditure under £500 for every former Labour minister or just for him.” Oh to be a fly on the wall for that one…


  1. 1
    Hugh Janus says:

    Good, got him worried for once.

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    So he didnt ring up to apologise?

    Have the BBC run the Prezza story?

  3. 3
  4. 4
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “he rang the Cabinet Office for clarification as to whether they would be publishing expenditure under £500 for every former Labour minister or just for him.”

    do your eyes and ears say what the response was Guido?

  5. 5
    LinwoodDave says:

    The only way to keep the bastards honest. Publish all online. If this one hadn’t been leaked we’d not get to see all these unexplained bills. Over 500 is a cop out and doesn’t go far enough

  6. 6
    MM says:

    wonder just how may pies the fat bastard charged

  7. 7
    Mike Litorus says:

    What an odious dogshit. Hope the fucker dies of something slow and painful.

  8. 8
    Jack says:

    The answer to any call from Two Japs n Shags and multiple credit card fiddles should be

    Fuck off Prezza and admit you are a fraud

  9. 9
    misterned. says:

    I do hope they told him to fuck off. He does not work there anymore.

  10. 10
    An accountant says:

    How much did Blair, Mandelson and all the other “New Labour” fraudsters tap their government credit cards for as well ?

    Where were the government auditors FFS ?

    Or do they no longer exist either ?

  11. 11

    The words fat and cυnt spring readily to mind in close proximity.

  12. 12
    Honest Tapayer says:

    They didn’ fraud one millionth of what the banksters frauded off the taxpayer….

  13. 13
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Looks like a Dishonourable nervous breakdown!!

  14. 14
    Bob says:

    And are still frauding

  15. 15
    Let's set the record straight says:


  16. 16
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Why didnt he ask a question in the House of Lords?

  17. 17

    And I had initially thought that shredded had meant having had too much to drink…

  18. 18
    Tooth fairy says:

    surely ‘greedy’ should be in there somewhere too?

  19. 19
    Billy Bowden is the world's greatest umpire! says:

    I heard that Dr Laim Fox has been hired by Polycell as the new face of Polyfilla due to his amazing abilities to leave a pleasing finish on small cracks with only minimal rubbing needed…

  20. 20

    Its coming up next! Right after, climate change, St Paul’s protest, aspirin, eurobonds, royal marriage, man hit by bicycle, council says it works hard, directors pay, Tevez, something about pensions, John Terry is racialist and adverts for Strictly…

    OOOhhh, shame..no time today..maybe tomorrow, if there’s no other news.

  21. 21
    Hang The Bastards says:


    Get the boys at the Sunlight Centre to go after the fat fuck.


  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    Let’s worry him some more by correlating his publicly available expenses claims to those same months of credit card expenditure. The maximum £400 a month in un-receipted bills for food, month after month after month. How can anyone spend £800-£1000 a month on food and maintain a healthy, svelte figure?

  23. 23
    MMM says:

    And how many has he hosepipe vomited back up into his toilet and out into the North Sea? What about the cost of cleaning up all of his fermented effluent off the beaches?

  24. 24
    What a plonker. says:

    The thieving sponging low life has been caught out and is wriggling like
    a fish on a hook .

  25. 25
    Billy Bowden is the world's greatest umpire! says:

    And also this greedy tart !

    £500k for Thatcher in expenses in the last 5 years. This society is a fucking joke the same torys who are pissing about with DLA and causing huge distress are looking after their own again. The bastards

  26. 26
    Jimmy says:

    It’s his own fault. If he wanted to be left alone by right wing blogs he should have nicked half a million like Attila the Hen.

  27. 27
    nell says:

    When might we expect him to be arrested for theft from the taxpayer?

    And then because of his criminal status the HOL will, won’t they?, defrock him so that he and his hairdo wife no longer carry titles.

  28. 28
    boboiseau says:

    I would challenge the assertion that he ever worked there …

  29. 29
    nell says:

    By all accounts, adding together his theft on that credit card, with expenses that included £400 per month for food he claimed when he was an mp plus expenses he claimed for being a minister , plus expenses that he’s claimed since joining the HoL and on and on he’s stolen far more than that from us and for no useful purpose other than to eat it!!

  30. 30
    Jimmy says:

    But Prescott got a sandwich. Get back on-message.

  31. 31
    Bunty Collocks says:

    “for clarification as to whether they would be publishing expenditure under £500 for every former Labour minister”

    What does the PhattPhuck think is going to show up on the other thieving bastards card statements then?
    Is it a case of “if ah’m going dahn I’m taking them soft, Southern Shandy drinking arse bandits wi’ me”

  32. 32
    Blair sack hunt says:

    To paraphrase Martin Johnson, “Prescott is lying fat odious Hunt, shocker”

  33. 33
    Jimmy says:

    How does someone run up a bill like that for “engagements” when she can’t even leave the house for fear of weeing herself?

    Face it, this is the Olympic Gold Medal of troughing, no-one comes close to this.

  34. 34
    nell says:

    Hmmm methinks you are using DLA ( Disability Living Allowance to anyone who doesn’t know) as a smokescreen to make the coalition look bad.

    Thus far it hasn’t been changed for anyone who genuinely needs it.

    Of course if you are one of those recipients who has been claiming a bad back and has then been found to be doing latin american dance competitions and so ruled ineligible to claim it , well that’s tough.

  35. 35
    Sir William Waad says:

    Mmm….but, if he’s worried, it’s not really fair on the people near him. The smells of sweat and botty burps? The rage? The cuss words? Is it right to force people to share space with a peeved Prezza?

  36. 36
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Tony Blair?

    ps Baroness Thatcher until last ear or so still attended the house of Lords.

  37. 37
    nell says:

    National Audit Office under the control of people like pollytwaddle’s husband during the time of bliar and brown.

    Need I say more?!

  38. 38
    Jimmy says:

    Why? Was she lost?

  39. 39

    Correlate it as well to weight. The higher estimates for brontosauri are 35 tonnes. With this amount of food Prescott would weigh some 12 times this. Now he has never been accused of being slightly built but this is impossible. So where did the excess food (or cash in kind) go and to whom?

  40. 40
    What a plonker. says:

    You sad F…ker.

  41. 41
    nell says:

    well bliar far exceeded Mrs T’s claims for govt funding after he had left office and in a far shorter space of time. On top of that bliar is insisting that the UK govt must provide him with a team of round the clock armed bodyguards who have to travel the world with him. How much does that cost us?

    gurninggordon will cap even bliar eventually in additional ex pm claims on government funds even though he is still being paid £65k plus more than generous expenses for a job he isn’t doing.

  42. 42
    The Paragnostic says:

    “how can anyone spend…”

    Easy – eat at Nobu.

  43. 43
    Shamed Labour peer Baroness Uddin says:

    You must be joking!

  44. 44
    nell says:

    Be interesting to see the credit card accounts for aintbustingut or philhope in health (he who spent £40k of taxpayers money on furnishing a tiny one bedroomed flat) or jackiesmith when she was home office minister or jack straw perhaps.

    But I bet none of them will be able to top the criminal excesses of prezza.

  45. 45
    I Hate Tesco AND the Pope says:

    It seems likely that he will. He has Type 2 diabetes. That’s the non-insulin dependent type that develops after 40. The best way to keep it under control is to LOSE WEIGHT through dietary restrictions and oral medication. Fat fuck. Fat chance.

  46. 46
    nell says:

    well don’t forget dishonest!!

  47. 47

    I remember staying at the Castle Hotel at Ladybank, Tamworth at the end of April* in 1997, ready for a business meeting the next day.

    Three of us were having a meal together in the otherwise empty restaurant when a crowd of people came in and sat at the largest table. At the head of it sat John Prescott.

    He was strangely subdued whilst the others were quite boisterous. Understandable if he had been out on the stump. One thing I can certainly say is that I never saw him pay for the meal. Of course, it may have gone on his room bill. Who knows.

    * I do not have my diaries on me so it could just have been early May.

  48. 48
    Jimmy says:

    I’ve been looking forward to watching you tie yourselves in knots trying to spin this.

    Keep it up!

  49. 49
    Harriet's Pants says:

    Maybe the Rowntree Trust would like to fund a ” non political” ” independent” body to look into this – akin to the High Pay Commission – so admired by the BBC .

    At least I have a dog in this fight.

  50. 50
    The Paragnostic says:

    The bankers didn’t defraud the taxpayer – Labour gave the bankers billions of taxpayer cash rather than see them go bust.

    The bankers (most of whom weren’t proper bankers anyway – failed accountants and retail ‘experts’ were to the fore) are guilty of immense stupidity and greed, but apart from granting dubious 125% mortgages based on invented earnings, it wasn’t fraud.

    The blame for our current state can be laid squarely at the door of Gordon Brown and Alaistair Darling. It was they who bailed the failing banks out with our children’s and grandchildren’s taxes, and they who promoted QE as a solution when any fool could see that adding credit to a failing credit boom was asking for trouble.

  51. 51
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    The BBC will only run a story on the fat boy when he saves a kitten from a tree.

  52. 52
    Pawn Sandwich says:


  53. 53
    The Paragnostic says:

    No it isn’t – it’s just old fashioned land thievery.

    Now back in your box, little lefty.

  54. 54
    nell says:

    I’d forgotten about hattyharpic. Be interesting to see what she troughed off the taxpayer using her govt credit card wouldn’t it?

  55. 55

    Have you worked out what the stars represent in the picture above? They would need a few &s methinks.

  56. 56
    The Paragnostic says:

    Andy Burnham’s will be interesting – he must have got through pots and pots of mascara, the twat!

  57. 57
    BillyBob... says:

    Just about sums him up….

  58. 58
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    “rang in yesterday to rant”

    Did they have someone to decipher him?

    The fat traitorous bag of shit is unintelligible at the best of times, when he’s ranting it must sound like a pig with a hot poker up its arse.

    Fuck off prescot you fat usless pile of dogs vomit, you did nothing for the working class.

  59. 59
    MMM says:

    “So where did the excess food go…?

  60. 60
    Wheres the birth certificate says:

    I C UNT

  61. 61
    burpy burpy cheep cheep says:

    A spokesman for Prezza told Guido that “he rang the Cabinet Office for clarification as to whether they would be publishing expenditure under £500 for every meal’

  62. 62

    Just add the following:

    It was Brown who created a three legged system for regulating and monitoring banks and money supply.

    It was Brown who insisted that income equated to expenditure within the economic cycle.

    It was Brown who drove a coach and horses through his own rules.

    It was Brown who cautioned Prudence and then bet in the casino with our money.

    It was Brown who spent at a time that most good housekeepers and companies would have been building reserves.

    It was Brown who cashed our gold in at the bottom and blew it all on his client voters.

    I’ll stop or it will take the page up. But there was so much more…

  63. 63
    I'm a Lord, and don't you forget it says:

    There IS no space next to Prezza.

  64. 64
    BillyBob... says:

    Are you saying that he is a caricature of a working class man ? Surely not, a working class man will seek an education to better himself…… actually you are correct !!

  65. 65
    Ah! Monika says:


  66. 66
  67. 67
    BillyBob... says:

    Nell, perhaps you know, what DID Tracey see in him ??? Surely not just a big knob ??

  68. 68
    BillyBob... says:

    Fat boy ?? Surely you mean Love Machine ??

  69. 69
    nell says:

    The only person who’s tying himself in knots Jim is you.

    Mrs T’s ex pm expenses are modest compared to predecessors like haroldwilson, sunnyjim, bliar and the likes, but more importantly those payments have been historically long established for generations for ex pm’s, approved by the HoC and are legal.

    what prezza has done, over the credit card, in any other walk of life would be illegal , dishonest and despicable. What our tone is doing charging we taxpayers for round the clock armed bodyguards is equally unacceptable.

    Instead of concentrating your ire on legal, agreed and historically established support for ex pms of all political parties you need to concentrate on those things which are hidden, unlawful and immoral by normal standards.

    One suspects that anyone associated with the current labour party does not understand that principle.

    I also suspect that the founders of what was a very worthwhile and necessary labour party for the working classes in it’s time, are turning in their graves at what the labour party today, as epitomised by the likes of prezza, bliar and gurning gordon, has become. Sad!

  70. 70
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    He made croquet acceptable to the working class.

    Oh wait…

    Or did it make him look a twat?

  71. 71
    BillyBob... says:

    Nice to see the word ‘odious’ being applied to more of these people……. I used to get modded for using the word here…. :)

  72. 72
    ron Vibentrop says:

    Good. Send the tyneside turd a tub of lard and his social climbing bitch a mongrammed butt plug.

  73. 73
    Jimmy says:

    I don’t think you managed one single factually correct sentence in that entire screed.

  74. 74
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    The fat toad. Couldn’t we put him in a boat with the Kinnocks and moor it somewhere off Somalia. (Not Mrs Prescott – she’s suffered enough already).

  75. 75
    BillyBob... says:

    Certainly did not make him look like a legend of the genuine working class..

  76. 76
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Yes, sorry, that is what I meant


  77. 77
    nell says:


    Cat you’re beginning to sound like prezza, obsessed with food!!

    But it did remind me of that other minister that abused his expenses , philwoolas. I bet the detailed accounts from his taxpayer funded credit card would make interesting reading!

  78. 78
    nell says:

    Oh you couldn’t possibly do that to mrsprezza just think of the anxiety she’d suffer over her hairdo!!

    But if you’re going to put prezza and the kinnochios in that boat could you just find room for bobcrow?

  79. 79
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Yes, it’s their main news feature and running 24/7.

  80. 80
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Tip of the week.

    If he hiccups after a meal then stand at least three metres away from him.

  81. 81
    Wheres the birth certificate says:


    Sheer fookin class

  82. 82
    nell says:

    labour and the working classes . Now there’s an oxymoron!!

  83. 83
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Make that four metres at least. Even today £500 goes a long way.

  84. 84

    I was in hospital yesterday nell and could not eat for 24 hours before, something that would kill that Prezza twat.

    So my obsession with food, if true, may be slightly more understandable.

  85. 85
    nell says:

    Bless! jimmy you’re a laugh!!

  86. 86
    Dr Bernardo says:

    Didnt “Our Pauline” get shot of her 4 year old son at fat boys request?

    Fat boy who sexually assaulted the wife of Austin Mitchell

  87. 87
    I don't need no doctor says:

    but not soap and hair shampoo.

  88. 88
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Then you would need a cox. Any suggestions?

  89. 89
    Pauline whorescock says:

    Ill take a fiver for t’boy

  90. 90
    The Paragnostic says:

    Prescott did have an education – of sorts.

    He got a diploma in Economics from Ruskin College, so he must at the time have been able to spell Keynes’ name correctly at least once on the paper.

    He then got a degree from Hull, a town which is an education in itself (though the main lesson learned is “stay away from towns that stink of fish”).

    See! And after all that, he learned how to make a fine Daiquiri as a bar steward on a boat.

  91. 91
    The Paragnostic says:

    The Squeaker would do – he’s practically Labour anyway, the odious little cunt.

  92. 92
    BillyBob... says:

    hahahahahahahahaha ‘is wife says that some people smell of fish and they have never even worked in a fish processing factory… :)

  93. 93
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Nothing to hide, nothing to fear…

  94. 94
    Reinaldo says:

    Bet peterkins has some even more fascinating tabs to explain

  95. 95
    nell says:

    power, sweetie pie – the silly little girl overlooked his obvious lack of physical attributes because of his position in the govt.

    she did of course live to regret it.

  96. 96
    The Paragnostic says:

    I thought they were just masking the total amount of damage done to the economy by Prezza and his friends…

  97. 97

    And Tony Blair and his 96 palaces. Gordon Brown, Ed Balls, Alastair Campbell, Dolly, that ginger munter from Mancester, the bloke that Joanna Lumley slaughtered (I am only just learning to forget their horrible names.)

    With any luck, the boat would sink before the pirates could get to them. We wouldn’t want St Vince proposing we pay a ransom to get them back.

  98. 98
    Prezza's Lezza says:

    “ass fucking Hunts”

  99. 99
    frog says:

    I laugh every time I hear Prescott claiming to have been a seaman…a drinks waiter would be a more honest answer.

  100. 100
    Reinaldo says:

    I wonder if he and that maan he married have ever done it on the woolsack

    Long slack Sally

  101. 101
    BillyBob... says:

    Just a thought, has he ever tried to justify the expenses ??

  102. 102
    BillyBob... says:

    very true..

  103. 103
    Para agnostic says:

    He never was a waiter
    he was a pot washer and mopper upper (especialy in the case of his wife)

  104. 104
    Jumbo says:

    Can you get details on theft by that dishonourable Hunt Jim Dowd? I shouted at the Hunt when he was shouting in SE23 during the election from his ice cream van at a moment when he wasn’t punching opponents in the HoC and he wound down the window and flicked a V sign at me. Hunt like most fucking British lefties.

  105. 105
    Brown Stuff says:

    He won’t die of anything slow and painful – he’ll just explode like Mr. Creosote.

  106. 106
    That's what I call shitty music, 2002 says:

    Put the fat turd in a tracksuit and make him jog on an icy roof of a dangerously tall building. Labour are gluttonous troughers and hypocrites. Stop paying them expenses. altogether.

  107. 107
    annette curton says:

    The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea in a beautiful… pee [sic for administrative purposes] green boat,
    they took some money and plenty of honey wrapped up in a £5 pound note,
    they sailed away for a year and a day to the land where the Bong tree grows,
    and there in the wood a Piggigwig stood with a ring at the end of its nose its nose, with a ring at the end of its nose.

  108. 108
    Brown Stuff says:

    He was definitely a bar steward – a right bleeding bar steward.

  109. 109
    A life on the ocean wave says:

    He’s been to sea he’s a mariner, you may think that the Masons are a good club to be in with contacts everywhere, mariners leave them standing.

  110. 110
    The 3rd World is Here says:

    MP’s are the new untouchables – failing to report a motoring offence, hiring illegals, not paying VAT, claiming for personal costs off the taxpayer, dodging speeding penalty points, ignoring petitions and on and on.

    A rotten parliament it is.

  111. 111
    David Blunkett says:

    Lard Prescott is so fucking fat that even I can see him in a dark room. His farts stink as well.

  112. 112
    The Piss Soaked Tramp Formally Known As TAT! says:

    He is right though in this case….

  113. 113
    annette curton says:

    He’s the sort of guy that after being shipwrecked on a remote island in Poole Harbour would be rescued 24 hours later, the sole survivor with an empty ten pound tin of tomato sauce surrounded by a pile of gnawed human remains.

  114. 114
    Dudley Zoo says:

    Prescot is a



  115. 115
    Assume U R talking about says:

    Dodgy Dave – he’s certainly not on a diet at the moment – More jowels everi pictur…

  116. 116
    The Paragnostic says:

    If they were peeing green they must have been on the Lidls processed peas – more E’s in them than one of Guido’s raves…

  117. 117
    Boo says:

    Prescott is a fat shit, a winkle dicked tub of festering lard

  118. 118
    The Paragnostic says:

    Shared memories of the golden wheels…

  119. 119
    nell says:

    Ah Annette – I’d forgotten that lovely poem . I’m not sure I want to associate it with the likes of disgusting labour.

    I used to recite it endlessly to youngnell, along with the cat in the hat, especially when she was in hospital.

    Worryingly, a time or two when I was sick and she sat by my bed she started to cite them back to me from memory!! +++Smile+++

  120. 120
    Thats alright then says:

    John will be John.

  121. 121
    Stu says:

    What a useless fat Hunt, getting fatter on our money.

  122. 122
    The Paragnostic says:

    Could always use Vince’s mansion tax to claw the ransom back off Blair…

  123. 123
    Stu says:

    Guido I just love the fact that a certain word transmutes to Huhne. It’s just so appropriate.

  124. 124
    Ballsbreaker says:

    How do you ask the police to investigate what appears to be theft. Can I go to the local cop shop, or do I have to go to Scotland Yard? Who will pay my expenses?

  125. 125
    Well it's a thought says:


  126. 126
    nell says:

    Hope they looked after you well Cat – some hospitals good, some bad!

    When we’re poorly we need the best care we can get. Hope you OK and soon feeling well!!

    Perhaps a decent shot of Jura or something comforting might help?

  127. 127
    Prescott's greeney brown shit stained pants says:

    Big Fat Sponge and Liar.

  128. 128
    I'm Wondering says:

    Should I be disgusted or flattered that Guido moderates simple postings I make ..

    Perhaps he’s getting scared of my razor sharp observations…..

  129. 129
    nell says:

    No! he isn’t!

  130. 130
    John Prescott says:

    Today I only spent £145 at Pret a Manger. I’m on a diet.

  131. 131
    Let's try again says:

    Dodgy Dave Cameron says:

    The Tents outside St Pauls ‘IS’ a problem.

    His abuse of the dear Monarch’s language not mine…..

  132. 132
    The above says:

    is what he decided needed moderating…..

  133. 133
  134. 134
    The Paragnostic says:

    Perhaps you fail to omit the modbot’s favourite words…

    etc. etc.

  135. 135
    Polly Seewonk says:

    …And eats it.

  136. 136
    The Paragnostic says:

    Mind you, the pirates would probably pay us to take Slotgob back.

    Maybe we should just maroon them on a South Sea Island (with special instructions on how to render Prescott down first, of course)…

  137. 137
    nell says:

    Just a thought.

    did harold wilson or sunnyjim or their fellow ministers in those labour governments have bottomless expenses and credit cards paid by the taxpayer to spend on gambling in casinos and expensive restaurants on fatty foods and expensive wines?

    I suspect the answer is no.

    Looking at the evidence none of them became obese. And harold wilson actually retired to the scilly isles and a very modest bungalow.

    As I have said before the current labour party has become poisoned , destroyed really, by greed.

  138. 138
    The Other Bloke says:

    I know a chinky nosh that will sell you a take-away for £10 and swipe your card for £200, giving you the balance in cash.

  139. 139
    nell says:

    Um you forgot p@ul, spe@k, appe@l, appe@r ……….

  140. 140
    Rufus T. Firefly says:

    What have the Somalis done to deserve that

  141. 141
    Jimmy says:

    Of dear this is embarrassing. I’ve just checked the (wholly independent and non-party) Taxdodgers’ Alliance website and it turns out Nell is right. Apparently this isn’t a story at all.

  142. 142

    Thanks nell. All is OK. Oberösterreich, rather east of the Jura. Best health-care in Europe according to the tables and, on my anecdotal experience, fully justified. The hospital was spotlessly clean, the fabric of the building was up to date. I noticed on the flat roof that mosses and grasses were growing quite thickly, good for insulation and prevents frost damage. The doctors and nurses nearly all spoke some English; “mein Deutsche ist nicht gut!” The doctor told me in English that he was going to give me three beers! Unfortunately they went in my arm. Afterwards, I was declared as fit as a butcher’s dog and sent on my way with a lovely send off from the nurses, several of whom I could have taken home with me. What more could an old pervert wish for…

  143. 143
    The Piss Soaked Tramp Formally Known As TAT! says:

    Sunny Jim somehow got rich enough to buy and run a farm……

  144. 144

    That leaves a conundrum: which is more distasteful? That comment or Prescotts’ rendered remains. The latter – no contest.

  145. 145
    Let's set the record straight says:

    Colonialism is now called “land thievery” is it ?

    And how about the ethnic cleansing going with it ? That is human rights for you, no doubt !

    And for your information, I am not left wing

    So much for incoherent fools like you with your preconceived hypocritical and false thinking

  146. 146
    Call me Dave - windy miller, eco loon and trougher says:

    Don’t forget to pay your power bills before clearing your credit card debt.

  147. 147

    Take in a photo of Prescott and see if they recognise him!

    Not Mr Chu China Palace, St Andrews Quay, Kingston-upon-Hull by any chance?

  148. 148
    nell says:

    A farm? Wow!

    Long way short of bliar’s 96 palaces and government funded armed round the clock bodyguard isn’t it?!

  149. 149
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    Most of the take-aways in Bradford will sell you a take-away for £10, swipe your card for £200 and offer you the balance in your favourite form of white powder, inflammable leaves, miscellaneous pharmaceuticals or hire of a hand-gun for the night.

  150. 150
    nell says:

    You really should have addressed that comment to our beloved dottie leftie vince.

  151. 151
    vfm says:

    I’m quite happy for Baroness Thatcher to have expenses at this level. She did a good job for the United Kingdom unlike these Labour Hunts.

  152. 152
    nell says:

    Perhaps that is because the members of the HoL don’t have one of these government funded credit cards so you are finally having to pay for your own excesses. At least I hope that’s the case!!

  153. 153
    The Paragnostic says:

    Well, conflating Zionism and racism certainly sounds like lefty bollocks to me.

    The project itself is flawed, as it neglected to consider that other people were living on and farming the land that was desired. Some Zionists (Avidgor Liebermann, for instance) are ‘racist’, in that they dehumanise the Arab population – most are not (and I’ve known quite a few since my schooldays). The major problem today, after 40+ years of occupation, is that it would be impossible to remove the hundreds of thousands of settlers and so the idea of reverting to the 1967 borders just isn’t practical. If you want to call it “ethnic cleansing”, then good luck to you – I find that sort of emotive language unhelpful and try not to use it about serious problems that need solutions.

    The fact is, a certain amount of land theft will have to occur before a peaceful solution can be found, and bleating empty slogans just ain’t going to help.

    Please play again.

  154. 154
    joescotus says:

    did’nt gorbals mick spend weeks shredding expenses claim forms before th e ‘graph spilled the beans
    gorbals c00nt was saving his own skin & reputation .

  155. 155

    Cannes is normally a nice place to visit. But don’t try going there now. G20. Residents are not even allowed to go out on the street in the middle two zones for the duration. Too bad if they get taken ill. They have all been issued with badges that they must wear even if they go out in their gardens. The whole Croisette is strictly off limits. You are likely to be shot if you as much as show your face on the street. Liberty, isn’t it wonderful?

  156. 156
    AC1 says:

    Surprisingly (not) It’s not even posted in the “Beware of the leopard” section.

  157. 157
    PinStripedChancer says:

    Not sure I’d bother with the ‘and’

  158. 158
    The Paragnostic says:

    I was only thinking of the health of the natives, Cat – all that saturated fat would be very, very bad for them.

  159. 159
    AC1 says:

    Actually there’s a lot more Non-jewish arabs in Israel than there are non-muslims in islam infested areas.

    They generally pay protection money in the form of a special tax (Jizya).

    The copts in Egypt are having a particularly oppressed time at the moment.

  160. 160
    nell says:

    I had to smile at that picture you have of prezza up there guido/neoguido.

    It looks like an elderly, obese, unattractive man trying to dress himself as a caricature of james bond!

    I guess it’s called self-delusion!!

  161. 161
    The Paragnostic says:

    Nell, I set up Wordpress (the software the blog uses) on my laptop the other night, just to see how hard it would be to make the modding sensible (i.e. exclude ‘pea’ but allow ‘appear’, ‘European’ etc.).

    All that is needed is to comment one line out of the comment processing, and use some fancy formatting to define what is excluded. It’s not rocket science!

    I’ve made the offer before, and I make it again – if Guido would like me to sort out the moderation so that innocent posts don’t get dumped in the mod queue, I’ll do it for free. He can get my email address from the comments.

  162. 162
    nell says:

    No tourists allowed then? Cannes is one of the meditterannean mainstays of the cruise ship industry.

    I do hope those G20 folks are going to make up for the loss in tourism spending and not from taxpayers funds either!

  163. 163
    The Other Bloke says:

    On that subject and to counter the ravings of the leftie knob-gobbler(s) on here that keep on whinging about Lady Thatcher’s public duty allowance-after she retired she was asked why she had NEVER taken her full Prime Ministerial salary–she explained “We didn´t need it. DT had done well and our outgoings were not that great. We lived above the shop and worked and worked and worked. And in any case it was taxpayers’ hard-earned money.”
    The grown-ups here who were actually around when Lady T was both in opposition and government will recall that she was frugal to the point of embarassment when it came to public money. When offered a (then-1992) £3 million house as a gift by a Middle-Eastern admirer she explained that it was “too grand”.
    She also pointed out that when people make personal attacks on a politician, it’s the best sign that they have no political argument.

  164. 164

    Ah! How very reasonable. But can you expect the rest of the entourage not to revert to cannibalism. It’s what they do best after all.

    BTW I have at home a cannibal fork bought in Fiji. Since it has come into my possession, I can assure you it has not been used in anger. In pleasure, yes, but not in anger…

  165. 165
    nell says:

    Well I wish he’d take you up on it – the automodding does get irritating even for old vets like me who understand, but sometimes forget when writing, where the problem comes from.

  166. 166
    AC1 says:

    Quite a lot really.

  167. 167
    nell says:


    Absolutely right Other.

    But we have to say that previous labour leaders too were modest by comparison to bliar , gurning gordon and their acolytes like prezza.

    It was there that the rot began and has continued.

  168. 168
    The Paragnostic says:

    Liberté, Fraternité, Tirez!

  169. 169

    They should hold their meetings on top of mountains where policing can be assured. Instead, they hold it in picturesque inhabited places so that they can be seen to be “inclusive”. The reality is anything but.

    One of the problems is that Cannes has a Mayor. Naturally he wants to put his town on the map and, in doing so, his residents can go hang.

    I am not for assassinations but this level of invasiveness is out of proportion IMHO. Take their photo ops elsewhere.

  170. 170

    Oh la la la! Quel Fromage!

  171. 171
    The Paragnostic says:

    I know this is offering a hostage to fortune, but I just listened to Any Questions on the radio and Labour’s Rachel Reeves was far less of a mad harpy than I had anticipated.

    Still misguided, still wrong, but refreshingly unfeathered and unbeaked for a Labour wimmin.

  172. 172
    william says:

    Mr.Flyonthewall has asked me to make a statement to clarify matters relating to the Cabinet Office,a previous Deputy Prime Minister,and his expenses incurred in carrying out his duties.The statement reads as follows:’F off, will you, I had nothing to do,except shag civil servants,and that makes me hungry for more,so I got a taste for junk food,that’s what I had been brought up with in Hull,before I made so much money in property deals, you know my son is a multimillionaire,Tony ‘s got nothing on us when it comes to money,and now they have this upper class ponce in office,and where did his money come from,his wife,pull the other one, his father,I could tell you a thing or two about insider trading,in the end I had to cut those Miliband brothers in on the deal.Labour may be dead and buried but I have got so much

  173. 173
    AC1 says:


    fliers have been found at Occupy Phoenix instructing people on when to shoot police officers.

  174. 174
    A disgruntled Over Taxed Voter says:

    This Voter Thumping Bar Steward is just a blood sucking parasitic,poncing,pimp who still believes we owe this annal reject a life high on the hog for ever more.

  175. 175
    MI5 says:

    Funny how old Prezza is being chased for a few grand

    When BICOM and their Werrity agent of influence have dis

  176. 176
    What a plonker. says:

    All the ships stewards that I know of batted for the other side ,
    maybe he was AC/DC.

  177. 177
    MI5 says:

    So you reject a Wikipedia article now ?

    You really are beneath contempt !

  178. 178

    “Justin Bieber’s balls have dropped.” E!

    Do we really want to know this?

  179. 179
    Barnehurst Bob says:

    Get fucking pizza

  180. 180
    AC1 says:

    The Berchtesgaden “Tea house” is still available for Socialists of the various Nations to meet in.

  181. 181
    AC1 says:

    Ted Heath managed to afford a yachting career…

  182. 182
  183. 183
    AC1 says:

    Replacing the * with a one and then zeros = 100 trillion in economic damage.

    Seems near enough right!

  184. 184
    nell says:

    hmmm rachelreeves. I bet she was wittering on about ‘growth and jobs’ wasn’t she?

    Of course like the unloveable chukka she has no concept of business or profit or the creation jobs through good business management, growing trade and export.

    her concept of ‘growth and jobs’ is to dig ever deeper holes in public debt and employ ever more thousands in government jobs counting pram wheels and such!!

  185. 185

    Or indeed its salt mines. Come to that, the lowest level at Wieliczka would be ideal and all our hopes for a timely 7.0 earthquake.

  186. 186
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    it reminds be of the Calcutta incident only with no toes or fingers, but still a bit the same :)

  187. 187
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    ha ha my mistake – eyes and ears don’t say anything but what did your souces tell you

  188. 188
    nell says:

    A few grand eh?

    If the receipts published so far are anything to go by he was spending at least £1000 a week on meals and wine in restaursant, gambling in casinos and unaccounted cash out of cash in the wall machines from our taxpayer funded credit card.

    And what was he doing with those unaccounted sums out of the wall hmmmm? He wasn’t paying for his wife’s fancy hairdo’s was he?

    That is a minimum of £52k a year without taking into account his bloated expenses claims and salaries and the value of his ‘tied cottage’. You can bet it’s loads more than that modest estimate.

  189. 189
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    yes we do but im not sure why

  190. 190
    Handycock says:

    Hey Prezza, I shagged Pauline when you were in the shit with her over Tracey. It was like shagging my grandmother.

  191. 191
    nell says:

    Might I suggest that they look at the desert – that triangular place between niger, algeria and libya that saif is currently making so famous.

    I feel sure the nomad tribes out there would be happy to make them feel at home for a generous fee! It is possible that they might be able to collar some of gaddafi’s now redundant tents for their meetings for a modest price.

  192. 192
    BBC Controller says:

    How very dare you!

    We would never remove stairs and light bulbs…

    Elf n Safety wouldn’t stand for it!

  193. 193
    annette curton says:

    No, funny how none of these people are being chased for a few grand or even a few tens of grand or even a few 100,000 of grand… laugh!… thought I’d never start.

  194. 194
    annette curton says:

    MI5 came after MI4 but before MI6, so what’s your beef?.

  195. 195
    nell says:

    Very commendable too , even though I didn’t like the man.

    It was a far better, worthwhile sort of lifetyle than the skulking gordon in his study, drawing every £ possible off the government whilst doing sod all wasn’t it?

  196. 196
    nell says:

    Might I suggest that they look at the desert – that triangular place between ni ger,
    alg eria and lib ya that saif is currently making so famous.

  197. 197

    I was never a fan of Heath, despite voting for his party’s MP’s each time but his father was a self-made man who presumably left him some money and he wrote three books which sold quite well. He left £5m in his will and therefore my belief is that he financed both Morning Cloud yachts from his own resources. Politics was relatively not as well paid in those days so it did play into the hands of the affluent (in all parties) or the union placemen. The improvement in MP’s pay has been a disaster IMO. It has turned it into a career choice and we have reaped the results. The egalitarian aspects are a chimera.

  198. 198
    Parliamentary Standards Commissioner says:

    I do not have the power to investigate Lord Prescott stealing from the taxpayer. Equally I do not have the power also to investigate Mike Handycock using his MP’s expenses to take his Russian mistress on three holidays. Should any of their friends and colleagues wish to deflect a police investigation into these matters, please report them to me and I will report back in about six months time stating that I do not have the powers to investigate. Boaz.

  199. 199
    I don't need no doctor says:

    I’ve moderated this comment before the moderator.

  200. 200
    nell says:

    well I do hope cameron’s are going to follow soon.

  201. 201

    Only for catamite MPs to cross off their invitation lists.

  202. 202
  203. 203
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Don’t forget, shagging Russian Spies young enough to be your grandaughter and taking them on foreign holidays at taxpayer’s expense. Boaz.

  204. 204
    nell says:

    I do agree Cat. Heath’s saving grace for me was his love of sailing since it is also a passion of mine and youngnell’s.

    And yes his money mostly came from his father’s business. Bit like much of Mrs T’s came from Denis’s career.

    By comparison prezza’s gordon’s bliar’s the militwits has all come from politics and hence the taxpayer.

    No creative thought, no useful business, no real jobs just sheer troughing!!

  205. 205
    Prezza's fist of god says:

    I will submit all my expenses to full scrutiny. I have nothing to hide…

    1. My shag fest flat paid for by muppet taxpayers
    2. My £5000 gold plated iron as an homage to Gadaffi and reminding me of the best days of my life as a gofer on merchant ships

  206. 206
    nell says:

    And further more if I was his wife I would want to know how he paid for my birthday , anniversary and christmas cards and presents during those years.

    Did he also charge them to that taxpayer funded credit card? I bet he did!!

  207. 207
    The Paragnostic says:


    All the parasites who thought they could get rich on the eco-Huhnery are up in arms, are they?

    If it’s not economically sensible to use PV in the UK (and at current prices it isn’t), why should they expect subsidy?

    I wouldn’t mind if there was a UK plant making PV panels, but they all come from China anyway, so it’s hardly good for the wider economy.

  208. 208
    The Paragnostic says:

    He’s been modded again.

    Unfortunately I don’t trust him enough to point him to the mod-evasion script :-P

  209. 209
    nell says:


    3 days in and nearly 10,000 signatures. Keep going folks!!.

    Let’s play them at their own game. You don’t give us the answer we want the first time around we’ll ask again and again and again…………

  210. 210
    Smithy says:

    Guido, I’ve got the results of your cancer test. I know the doctor said that they’d be confidential, but what the heck – sauce, goose, gander and all that.

  211. 211

    Also, one cannot deny that Heath was a musician of exceptional ability, approaching the very best of professionals. He was a single minded man which made him seem out of touch. Like you, I sailed from a child and that helped to make him seem slightly more human. His method of presentation to the public was awful though. Stilted and aloof, despite being a grammar school boy, as indeed was I.

    I hope youngnell is completely recovered from her experiences.

  212. 212
    saffron says:

    An absolute liebour ars-hol- to the ninethe degree.
    Why oh why are we even talking about this abject politico.
    The man is a chancer of the highest order, intelligence wise he is as thick as two short planks.
    The man was a drinks steward on ships,hardly the most intelligent job in the world.
    Do I really want to listen to a tosser like this,answer absolutely not.
    Prescotti why don’t you feck off because your contributions to british politics have been absolutely bullshit.

  213. 213
    nell says:


    And here we go. 90% of us want a say on whether we stay or renegotiate powers on the eu.

    Where does that leave the sarkozy hero worshipping sneering militwit who wants to take us into the euro?!!

  214. 214
    nell says:

    Well I did especiialy like his contribution, when he was deputy prime minister, where he said he wanted to concrete over the countryside.

    For me it confirmed the absolute idiocy of the labour government, if indeed I had needed it to be confirmed.

    Having said that of course his son became a multi millionaire from housing schemes put forward by prezza whilst he was in office.

    Absolute parasitic family just like the kinnochios and bliars!

  215. 215
    nell says:

    You’ve got the wrong forum.

    You need sallyalley’s facebook page she deals with all that sort of lies and rubbish.

  216. 216
    Bristolian says:

    Speaking of fat c**ts, that great man Pickles appeaeared on my local BBC regional news last night. The sound picked up him being asked (quite reasonably) it seemed, why all “Call me Dave’s” pronouncements on waste collections were not being carried into effect. It starts with Fatty Bully Pickles having a go at a local Councillor, telling him not to go “sounding off”. Pickles represent all I hate about tory “character” (or lack of it). Where did this ugly bugger come from?

  217. 217
    BBC ran the Scuba life-saving heroics says:

    Blubber in a rubber suit

  218. 218
    princess leia says:

    Guido, why have you got a picture of Jabba the Hutt on here?

  219. 219
    Bristolian says:

    Pickles must be a lightweight.

  220. 220
    booboo says:

    Sarah Palin sings The White Rose of Athens.

  221. 221
    nell says:

    Thanks Cat.

    youngnell has some serious health problems but she’s coming up to gcse’s and doing well.

    She’s also a great sailor and kayaker and swims like a fish and we’re off cruising around the med next year hoping to do some whale and dolphin spotting although I’m a bit bothered I might get seasick!!

    Unlike gordon and his depressing presbyterian outlook, I don’t think God meant us to brood on our problems as a payment for our sins.

    I think we are meant to go out there and make the best of every day He gives us. And that is what we do.!!

  222. 222

    I don’t agree with Nick.

  223. 223
    The Paragnostic says:

    Classic Littlejohn – sums up what is wrong in public life perfectly again!


  224. 224
    old nick says:

    You might be doing that sooner than you think old son.

  225. 225
    W.W. says:

    “£3.22 bill at a Morrisons café and £3.05 at a Marks & Spencer Simply Food store.”

    No amount is to small to screw us for.

    At the same timethe buffoon was blowing £600m of our money on the Fire Service Regional control centre’s.

    —“Margaret Hodge, who chairs the MPs’ committee, said the project had been “flawed from the outset” and one of the worst wastes of public money for many years.—

    And that is from one of his own side.

    —Labour MP Clive Betts, the current chairman of the Commons communities and local government select committee that has investigated the delays, said the project had been “almost an unmitigated disaster throughout the course of its life”. (Or should it be an “unmitigated disaster throughout the course of his political life”

    “But the reality was that, when you consider cancellation costs, it was less costly to continue with it than it was to cancel it,” he said.—

    Next time people complain about Government cuts, the above is one of many reasons this country is broke.

    If we where in China they would take him out and shoot him.

    With an elephant gun obviously.”


  226. 226
    nell says:

    I think it’s a bit sad that we talk kindly of the old labour leaders back to the time when they were founded including wilson and sunnyjim and of the old tory leaders heath and thatcher and yet we can find no good comment to make of the current labour crew militwit, bliar,gurninggordon, prezza.

    Truth is grasping,current labour is all about feathering it’s own nest at the taxpayers expense.

    prezza and his abuse of the taxpayer funded credit card has just proved that point!!!

  227. 227

    You shouldn’t get seasick in the Med, nell! The average tidal difference is 27 cm in the Med and 91 cm in the Adriatic so currents from tides are almost negligible. Winds have more effect and, whilst they can be quite high in places, their frequency is relatively low.

    Whilst a non-theist myself, I agree totally with your conclusions.

  228. 228
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Let the fat ignorant toad faced fuck eat himself to death

  229. 229
    ... says:


  230. 230

    What is it that you are trying not to say?

  231. 231
    Working class? I've never worked! says:

    His Wife was a Gosport Nancy I recall, real class acts, Lord and Lady Parisitical Peasants

  232. 232
    The Paragnostic says:

    And if you want a real laugh, some prime invective from Matthew Norman in the Telegraph…


  233. 233
    NeverRed says:

    Failed Greek banks get a ‘haircut’ (shareholders lose 50%).

    Failed UK banks got taxpayers money off UK taxpayers and the bosses made ‘Sirs’ or ‘Lords’.

    Fukin Labour are all crooks.

  234. 234
    old nick says:

    You’re a pompous old twat?

  235. 235

    Thank you. Coming from you that is most reassuring.

    Are you capable of holding any political views that are not ad hominem?

  236. 236
    The Piss Soaked Tramp Formally Known As TAT! says:

    You been on the wine again you dozy bat?

    Remind us all again how much Dave claimed in mortgage payments before he was caught out…..

  237. 237
    The Piss Soaked Tramp Formally Known As TAT! says:

    P.S. It was 21k a year amongst other expenses dozy…..

  238. 238
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  239. 239
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    sockpuppet been here tonight.

  240. 240
    The Piss Soaked Tramp Formally Known As TAT! says:

    Billy wanking into socks again….

  241. 241
    Enough cock to put a handrail round HoC says:

    Sally Alley at Uni, in her own oft misguided words

  242. 242
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


  243. 243
    HIGNFY says:

    Eamon Holmes again FFS

  244. 244
    AC1 says:


    Fights are erupting among Occupy Wall Street protesters, so much so that one corner of Zuccotti Park has emerged where protesters say they won’t go for fear of their safety, the New York Daily News is reporting.

    Police officers also have been warned of “dangerous instruments” being concealed in cardboard tubing, the News says it has been told by unidentified police sources.

    “There is a lot of infighting in the park,” a police source told the news organization. “There is one part of the park where they won’t even go at night.”

  245. 245
    AC1 says:


    Organizers of Occupy Portland say they fear as much as $20,000 donated to the group through a PayPal account has disappeared.
    They also say the group’s finance committee has hijacked the demonstration’s Internet domain name and filed for incorporation against the wishes of the group’s decision-making body. . . .

  246. 246

    Merkel is the only major nation Euro leader of any merit IMO.

  247. 247

    Was your brain operating at the same level that it was when you last defended the member for Brent Central?

  248. 248
    AC1 says:

    He missed out the Zero (Brown with a teleprompter and a smile).

  249. 249
    AC1 says:

    It does sound like his bullshit detector needs recalibration.

    Calibrate 100% Bullshit with this.


    A Hugh Hendry youtube for 0% BS.

  250. 250
    AC1 says:

    So you reckon his finances were ship shape?

  251. 251
    AC1 says:

    I want to know how the database can allocate duplicate numbers so easily.

  252. 252
    The Paragnostic says:

    She’s a bit Rosa Klebb for my tastes, but she’s doing a good job considering the power of the German Parliament and Constitutional Court – most would have folded by now given the restrictions placed on her by domestic pressure.

    I’m just waiting for the big bust-up when Italy fails to implement the austerity measures (as it surely will). Telegraph reports that the ‘getting out of EU’ contingency plans are circulating in Whitehall, so it won’t be long…

  253. 253
    W.W. says:

    I would have loved to be the one answering the phone when he rang.

    “What the fuck do you want you fat bastard?”


  254. 254
    stun says:

    The firefox mod is quite challenging though. I’m not totally computer illiterate, but I wasn’t able to complete the ‘new button’ bit. You may have to consider that many are not as able as you – what you think is easy is not as straightforward as you think.Thanks very much for putting it up there though anyway. I felt rather stupid, but luckily, I can do other stuff!

  255. 255
    Handycock says:

    How’s Pauline Prezza? Looks like the wife with brown hair.

  256. 256
    Mabozza Ritchie says:

    Great news!
    Long-time admirers of Stanislav can follow the thoughts of his highland benefactor and bard of ruin Mr. Ishmael here:


  257. 257
    Wisteria Man says:

    It was all perfectly legal darling.

  258. 258
    Mabozza Ritchie says:

    Check out the recent furore about Labour thug Davidson and his treatment of a young female SNP MP.

    The hypocrisy of these people is breath-taking. Where is La Harman demanding his goolies on a plate?

  259. 259
    Issy Troughing MP says:

    It seems the only thing Prezza won’t eat is his own words.

  260. 260
    Tessa Tickles says:

    “Telegraph reports that the ‘getting out of EU’ contingency plans are circulating in Whitehall”

    Or, let’s be honest, put it another way.. Camoron’s media spin machine whirls into action after he was exposed by the EU Referendum vote as a weak pro-EU traitor and Anti-British liar.. Camoron’s spin-machine desperately and hopelessly tries to make him seem like a real man, and not an abject failure and object of ridicule.

    It’s transparent. It’s not working. Camoron’s a cu’nt.

  261. 261
    The Paragnostic says:

    Tessa, you are awful, but perceptive. I’m not sure whether this came from Rusty – my reading of it was that the FO were the source, so perhaps Billy Vague’s playing games.

    Fortunately, all that these reports will do is increase the pressure on Rusty to grow a pair and deal with the EU problem – if he doesn’t, then someone else will. I’d like to see a grouping form around Col. Bob, who would at least have the stature to bring the people along with him.

  262. 262

    It wasn’t hard, was it? I asked old nick the simplest of questions and he fluffed it. These trolls cannot engage in anything substantive. They just do not possess the mental apparatus.

  263. 263

    Not this late at night, AC1. People are mostly going to bed…

  264. 264

    What do you call a situation that is so far beyond irony that it comes round again the other side? Words fail me.

  265. 265
    Anonymous says:

    Any morgage obtained after provision of “Invented” earnings is fraud. Those who provide such material or encourage or counsel the provision of same are equally guilty.
    Lawyers, brokers and financial institutions have been engaged in mass scale mortgage fraud over the past decade.
    They all knew it they are all guilty.
    That has been the crime that dare not speak its name and has cost us billions.

  266. 266
    Anonymous says:

    Poundland has just had a Gerald Ratner moment. Openly admitting on social media that staff are not allowed to wear a poppy will go down as the pr disaster of the year.

  267. 267
    TAT says:

    Hey guys! How YOU doin? Guys? Hello? Anyone here? Come talk to me! I’m lonely.

    I’m just going to sit here and sing to myself for awhile OK?

    fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap cripple

  268. 268
    A Vet says:

    Ted Heath should have been orchestrated.

  269. 269
    The Paragnostic says:

    Check again, stun – I put a Greasemonkey script up as well (mainly because I’m getting too old to remember to click a button myself!).

    That should be a lot easier to use, and apparently works in Chrome as well.

    Getting Guido to send me a list of modded words, so I can send him a list of regular expressions and a short set of instructions, would be much better.

  270. 270
    The Paragnostic says:

    Lol AC1 – looking at the code and the table definition, this shouldn’t be possible – the comment_id field is autonumbered, and the code just does an insert of the rest of the data.

    It is only a MySQL backend, though – never used it in anger myself, so I don’t know if it is possible to confuse it by working it too hard.

  271. 271
    The Paragnostic says:

    The member for Brent Central is a special case – I’d forgive her almost anything.

    I was just pointing out that La Reeves didn’t come over all shrill and nasty like most Labour wimmin (or patronising and smug, if you include Hewitt).

  272. 272
    The Paragnostic says:

    That housing blog was pure, unadulterated comedy gold. I’m sorely tempted to add a comment along the lines of the immortal Homer Simpson “Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.”

    Are you sure Mr Summers isn’t some sort of Swiftian genius?

    I’ll just go back to finishing Mises’ Human Action for the no-bullshit option, ta.

  273. 273
    albacore says:

    Here we go again, singling out one pisspot from all the other fragrant Parliamentary receptacles.
    In this case, the lad’s earned a Desperate Dan-sized cow pie.
    Why, indeed, should he be the sole exception whose expenses down to the last penny are aired for public scrutiny?
    Devaluation’s one lark, but when 500 quid is the new brass farthing as far as troughing goes, there’s summat rotten to be nosed, and it ain’t in the state of Denmark.

  274. 274
    Athick Head says:

    Yes the Sqweeka would fit perfectly as cox. Just look at the Uni rowing crews who always have someone little and lightweight operating the rudder strings.

  275. 275

    I think that, whatever else you did, you should first bend her over and give her bare bottom a good spanking. She is a very naughty girl. Should she happen, during this quite necessary punishment for her venal sins, to say something like, “Oh Daddy! More! More! Please, please, more!”* or even, “Put it in now, you brute!”* , you should shut your ears so that you do not get swallowed up by her sin…

    I hope this is of help.

    * This is a recognised type of parliamentary speech which, like any other of this manner, you should not take at face value.

  276. 276
    The time IS right and politicians need to remember that they are servants of the people says:

    Keep the pressure up……the British people demand that our Parliament listens to them and that the Government starts negotaiations for repatriation of powers back to the UK as our requirement to agree to any new Treaty or Treaty change in the EU…enough is enough …and if Clegg doesn’t like it…he should resign and take it to the country….I’ll look forward to the LibDems ceasing to exist as a political party in anyone’s Coalition after he does that…….the LibDems have no manadte to obstruct the will of the people(neither do Cameron and Miliband either)


  277. 277

    I think that you miss the point rather in your third sentence, whilst forming otherwise reasonable conclusions.

    Of course, every brass farthing of every MP’s (or of any public servant) should stand up to scrutiny.

    It is that, when found out, he responded in the typical sniveller’s way, “Well, he did it so why are you picking on me?”

    Because someone has to be first John and you are as good as any for that purpose, you ghastly scrounging git. Only another 644 to go…

  278. 278
    Pies 'r' us says:

    Pies are not cheap, you know

  279. 279
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    He is the elephant in the room.

  280. 280
    E says:

    What the fuck day is it now? Do I care?

  281. 281
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    It is amazing how many people seem to suffer from a rare back condition that renders them unfit for even the lightest desk job but allows them to play squash and golf.

  282. 282
    Calender Nerd says:

    Saturday. Have you been on a bender, E?

  283. 283
    E says:

    Oh, yeah. It’s Saturday. Does the torture stop on Saturdays?

  284. 284
    Enid Blighter says:

    Well, Rich and Mark submit their cartoon on Monday so you have two torture-free days to enjoy things that make you laugh with gay abandonment.

  285. 285
    Athick Head says:

    I always wonder what a ‘runcible’ spoon was. Not something used by erstwhile senior clergy I trust?

  286. 286
    Athick Head says:

    Next week’s washing?

  287. 287
    Taxfodder says:

    My only surprise in this story is that the fat fool raised his head from the trough long enough to squeal out a protest.

    Indicating yet again how safe and entitled he though he was looting the taxpayer as an assumed right!

  288. 288
    Billy Bowden is the world's greatest umpire! says:

    Margaret Thatcher Is A Benefits Scrounger

    Read it and weep, Tory boys. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-15486792

    Former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher has claimed £535,000 of taxpayers’ money over the last five years, government records have shown

  289. 289
    smoggie says:

    The subsidy is the only way they can ..er.. compete on equal terms in the free market.

  290. 290
    I hate Blue Labour says:

    Isn’t he dead yet?

  291. 291
    Here we go round the mulberry bush says:

    Check out Billy Bliar and lunatic Brown it’s the security costs you tosser, what’s up can’t you get past the Liebour brainwashing to even think of your own anonymouse monika, your a sad sick person. TwAT.

  292. 292
    albacore says:

    Wood and trees, sunshine.
    No matter through what murky motive and however unintentionally, Fatso’s added his weight to a push for full disclosure. That makes him more useful to the taxpayer than all the Little Lord Fontleroys studiously pretending that publishing only items of over £500 will cut the mustard.

  293. 293

    OK. I see your point and agree unreservedly. The sentence that I mentioned can be received with ambiguous interpretations including that of justification which I believe was actually intended by the Larded One.

  294. 294
  295. 295

    Fuck off you tosser. If your sort ran the country we would be broke.

    Oh! They did. And we are…

  296. 296

    Try as I might, I cannot decide whether to keep laughing hopelessly as I read his stuff or turn away from it in the fear that I might eventually require certification due to overexposure.

    I have had this page open in a tab on my browser for about 10 days now.

    Even my best friends have never accused me of being normal but, by comparison and with much hand-wringing, I am afraid I am.

  297. 297
    Anonymous says:

    I suspect there are those infiltrating on behalf of the establishment to foment unrest – they have done it in Iraq ,Afghanistan and Libya ,why not on their own doorstep?

  298. 298
    Prezza says:

    Just wait till I get hold of you Handycock. I hope you haven’t been near my Tracey.

  299. 299
    Chris Huhne says:

    I wish to report Mike Handycock to you Commissioner for theft, taking his Russian Mistress on holidays on his MP’s expenses, being a sexual predator and pervert, too much evidence to include here, and ripping the taxpayer off as a Trougher for years. Additionally, I believe he is a Russian Spy. Boaz.


  300. 300
  301. 301
    Go forth Billy, Go forth says:

    Do you read replies to your own posts Billy ?

    It was pointed out to you yesterday that as an ex-PM Baronesss Thatcher is entitled to 24/7 security etc..she is still a major terrorist target ….such costs are allowable and are in line with what previous ex-PMs claimed for such matters…the costs work out at just over £100,000 pa

    You as usual are talking out of your rear orifice ..

  302. 302
    Parliamentary Standards Commissioner says:

    Jahbulon. I will report back in six months, stating that I do not have the powers to investigate these matters, Chris.

  303. 303
    Appalled Constituent says:

    So he says ‘he feels dreadful. It’s horrible (for him) and he’s having to pay the price for that now’. He claims ‘to have made peace with the people he has upset’ and that he ‘must live through it by performing his duties to his city’. Well plainly he has not been caring too much for his city and his constituents for many years past. They have given him a meal ticket and a shagging ticket and he has enjoyed it all thoroughly. He has quite clearly undermined our security in the process. He should ‘pay the price’ and step down NOW.

  304. 304
    Ex Libris says:

    Some years ago, he was the cover story of the Diabetes UK magazine, with an in-depth interview. It came across as a grumpy, ignorant, arrogant man who didn’t care about this health condition or the possible health complications for the future. No surprises there! Seeing as the rest of the population is forever getting jibes for fatness, lack of exercise etc, it would be nice to see the NHS name and shame Prezza for crimes against innocent burgers etc. Typical Champagne Socialists for the expenses, though, and still people vote Liebore…

  305. 305
    If only... says:

    Prezza “Are you publishing expenditure under £500 for every former Labour minister or just me?”

    Cabinet Office “Oh, just you. You surpass every other former Labour minister in general all-round c***ishness. And that’s saying something.”

  306. 306
    Prof Charcot says:

    Eventual erectile dysfunction caused by his vascular risk factors including diabetes would be ironic

  307. 307
    Worried Constituent of Hull says:

    Did Prezza spend all that on chipolatas and HP sauce so he coiuld lick if off Traycey Temple?

  308. 308
    Atar says:

    Why is Prezza worried about details emerging of his OFFICIAL spending of taxpayers’ money?

    One would assume that since everything spent was legit and all above board, he would have no problem whatsoever.

    Could it possibly be that the inept, fat, croquet-loving, word-mangling fuck was being, er, naughty with our money? And thinks he’s been found out? And wants others investigated to spread the blame?

    I’m shocked!

  309. 309
    Another Appalled Constituent says:

    This man has been troughing as a Councillor and MP for over 40 years. He is completely uneducated and illiterate. He has spent his whole life using taxpayer’s money to satisfy his huge sexual appetite and has got away with it because at one time a Lady PR was employed full time by Portsmouth City Council to keep any bad news about him out of the media through threats of legal action, all paid for by the taxpayer. His life has unravelled since this Lady PR left her job on maternity leave. I have been a constituent of his all the time he has been an MP and cannot recall anything he has done as an MP or for a constituent unless it involved gratuitous sex for his own benefit. The only reason he gets re elected is beacuse of the huge student vote in his constituency which he milks by inviting their leaders to parliament and having sex with young female ones. The man is a disgrace and embarrassment as are his Liberal democrat Party who protect him and have not asked him to step down. A classic example of how much this country has declined.

  310. 310
    Another Bristolian says:

    I for one wish our looney leaders of the Democratic Republic Of Bristolistan would re-introduce weekly collections.

    Instead, they have refused the extra money from government, and will be introducing electronic bin-snooping/penalties in the near future.

    Oh, and replacing all our bins with mini-size versions.

    Strangely, my council tax never reduces as “services” reduce. Too many immigration outreach workers to fund, I guess.

    They’re all bastards.

  311. 311
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Former Labour cabinet ministers will be saying: “Oh, John Please! Keep your fucking mouth shut! Don’t give those bastards any more ideas! Shit! You think YOUR credit card bill was bad? You should have seen mine! Oh, bollocks. Pretty soon you, and everyone else, will be able do just that!”

  312. 312

    It is clearly a sockpuppet but you are 100% correct.

  313. 313
    Cynic says:

    That is no excuse.

  314. 314
    Cynic says:

    Typical socialist, thinks the taxpayers are contemptible lowlife but quite happy to live off their backs.

  315. 315
    Vigilant Neighbour says:

    So much for his remorse for his appalling behaviour. He was seen only the other night picking up a young female student up, at midnight, from the home of a fellow Councillor, Les Stevens, who has student lodgers, and acts as a procurer for Hancock.

  316. 316
    Pickled Wizard says:


  317. 317
    Pickled Wizard says:

    But the mouse in the bedroom

  318. 318
    Pilly says:

    Actually, they’re all Hunts – TAC

    Especially in Bristol.

  319. 319
    Pickled Wizard says:

    You could start with the idle bunch of scroats who were stopping all and sundry outside Callington this morning to check nothing in particular. Dont worry lads – there’s no other crime in Cornwall, so spend your time causing us to waste our working day answering questions phrased in a way that may even make prezza blush. Oh, and the shorter one – check your knob when you get home – you spent most of the morning with your hands so deeply and actively in your pockets, it must be quite sore by now!

  320. 320
    Wee Willy Winky says:

    The solution is real simple – kill all the Palestinians.

    Job done.

  321. 321
    Cynic says:

    Prezza now claims in The Times that he was ‘defrauded’, that his staff’s credit cards were cloned and that some of the expenditure was nothing to do with the Department.

    The only people defrauded were the British electorate by the grasping, lying, dishonest, war-mongering, corrupt and economically illiterate excuse for a Government that he was Deputy Head of

  322. 322
    Annonymous says:

    TAT ! Im gonna sit here and hold my breath till you stop that!!!ssswhooop!

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