October 12th, 2011

Jobs for the Boys


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    Now i now we are fooked ;-)

  2. 2
    Tax Payer says:

    I’ve heard you can’t slip a business card between Fox and Werritty.

  3. 3
    Selohesra says:

    So do you advise him up the arse as well?

  4. 4
    Redpen says:

    Shouldn’t that be ‘Advisor’.

  5. 5
    Millibands Munters says:

    I wonder how many cards he has in phone boxes.

  6. 6
    BaggPuss says:

    Excellent. I’ve made several cards so I’m off now to open doors.

  7. 7
    BaggPuss says:

    Oh dear. perhaps no one will notice.

  8. 8
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Will one of those cards get me into Lords for free?

  9. 9
    It doesn't end with Fox says:

    She said Mr Cameron was aware of her past role at Atlantic Bridge, which was dissolved earlier this year after the Charity Commission said its main objective appeared to be promoting a political party “closely associated with the Conservative Party”.
    “He did know that I worked for Atlantic Bridge. I was the first employee, I set it up and got it off the ground,” she said.


  10. 10
    The heir to Blair says:

    Apparently works better on back doors than front doors

  11. 11
    annette curton says:

    Perhaps it was meant to be cryptic, then again perhaps not.

  12. 12
    Jesme the unloved Fox says:

    Has the fragrant Liam got pederastic copy of fellow ministers?

  13. 13
    Joss Taskin says:

    The cricket ground of House of ??

  14. 14
    Joss Taskin says:

    That should read ‘Lords the cricket ground or House of ?’

  15. 15
    Dave says:

    Look, it’s incredibly important to set to one side any questions about fag, blackmailed ministers working for foreign governments and remember the hand of history on one’s shoulder, and, BOMB THE FUCK OUT OF IRAN!!!

    I’m on $100m from JP Morgan to get the moronic Brits into another war for Izzy, so STFU about fags and get fighting and dying for the Special Country and its glorious bankers!

  16. 16
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    The home of Cricket of course :-)

  17. 17
    Joss Taskin says:

    Will a card like that get me First Class flights all over the World ??

  18. 18
    Rat's arse says:

    Ed balls on Parliament channel, making a complete & utter tw*t of himself.

  19. 19
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Careful dahlings….otherwise could be Gay Fawkes!

  20. 20
    Voice of Reason says:

    Surely Dr Liar Fox would have been more correct o the business card.

  21. 21
    Billy No Balls says:

    It appears that some MPs are claiming the the new expenses regime is leaving them out of pocket. It’s a bit like me claiming that travelling into work every week leaves me out of pocket as my employer doesn’t pay my train fare in each week.
    Of course Diane “do as I say not as I do” Abbot is under the impression that most employers pay for their staff to get a taxi home each night.

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    Knocking at Cameron’s door.

  23. 23
    Billy No Balls says:

    We take that as read, it may be an idea just to inform us when he is not making a twat of himself or else you will posting all day.

  24. 24
    Anonymous says:

    “He did know that I worked for Atlantic Bridge. I was the first employee, I set it up and got it off the ground,” she said.


  25. 25
    VIVA LA BEAST says:

    Rubbish. he wasnt makeing a twat of himself
    He was born ready made

  26. 26
    annette curton says:

    Apparently, according to Chambers both spellings are now acceptable, but yet another example of falling standards in business practice these days if you ask me.

  27. 27
    VIVA LA BEAST says:

    Via the rear entrance

  28. 28
    Thrilled to be near says:

    On the back of all of Andrew’s cards I understand there’s a discreet reference to his length.

    I’ve heard it’s a nine-incher.

    Can you confirm?

  29. 29
    Lord Prescotts of Birds Eye says:

    So that Pikey fook, Fawkes likes it oop his foocken arsepipe too, I always fooken knew that yeh Oirish fook

  30. 30
    Polly's Villa in Tuscany says:

    The card gets you in free to “Manhole” or “Hoist” down in Vauxhall. Plus a discount on KY at Boots.

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    Looks like Adam has only one client for his services and its Fox.

  32. 32
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    At least this proves the Tories right that ID cards were a waste of money!

  33. 33
    The Liebour party says:

    No-one’s standards are lower than ours, be it educational standards, ethical standards or moral standards.

  34. 34
    Rat's arse says:

    Too true B.N.B :)

  35. 35
    annette curton says:

    A graphic depicting a pack of hounds chasing it into its lair would be rather good (The Disappearing Fox Tattoo).

  36. 36

    Dave’s got another Fag. That’s what you get at Eton right? Fags?

  37. 37
    annette curton says:

    A graphic depicting a pack of hounds chasing it into its lair would be rather good (The Disapp+aring Fox Tattoo).

  38. 38

    You know what? Fuck it, I think I am going to get some cards printed, what are they going to do charge me with Fraud, No because his buddy got away with it so can you. At the very least it would make a great story. The duplicity of justice.

  39. 39
    Lord Prescotts of Birds Eye says:

    Shuddup unless yars wants mah fooken fist in yah fooken face arsewiper

  40. 40
    Sir Gus O'Donnell says:

    Cut or uncut, Prime Minister?

  41. 41
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Oirish? aaarish surely.

  42. 42
    Lord Prescotts of Birds Eye says:

    Unless yoos wants mah foocken fist in yer foocken gob, i suggests you foocken waits til the arsewipes not making a foocken arseole of imself, before you foocken posts bout it

  43. 43
    smoggie says:

    These days it’s all metric.

    It’s a 10 incher.

  44. 44
    Jabba the Cat says:

    Any chance of getting hold of the cellar keys for the 5th of November?

  45. 45
    Mervyn King says:

    I do exactly the same trick with banknotes and nobody has accused me of fraud.

  46. 46
    Redpen says:

    I didn’t know you were Scottish.

  47. 47
    Selohesra says:

    Thats still not metric but 10cm is

  48. 48
    Jasmin Alibi Cunt says:

    Isnt being a bummer illegal for Irishists?

  49. 49
    #OccupyYourOwnCountryBack says:

    Americans just woke up. #OWS


    Which is why Dave the Pupoet and the criminals he works for need to get the shit with I ran and the WW 3 that will follow kicked off pronto.

    When will the dumbfuck Brits wake up?

  50. 50
    Engineer says:

    Can’t help feeling that this story is being squeezed for every last drop of speculation by some in the MSM in order to avoid talking about the problems in the Euro zone. Sure, it’s a story, and might be a political scandal, so it should be reported, but I can’t help feeling that the Euro has the potential to blow up into the biggest financial crisis in living memory. Surely that deserves more air-time and column inches (no double entendre intended)?

    (Guido at least has an excuse – he’s quite upfront about blogging rumour and tittle-tattle, not serious political issues.)

  51. 51

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-15267426 – See how hard it is being an MP you make 3 times the average salary and they make it impossible for you to claim your scotch egg and new sofa! It is enough to make a man go wild I tell you!

  52. 52
    Engineer says:

    Arguably, the whole concept of fiat currency is a fraud. It seems to have been a remarkably successful one, so far….

  53. 53
    Ah! Monika says:

    How do you get the cards to print?

  54. 54
    Engineer says:

    That’s why nine out ten women prefer imperial measurements. The other one is a todger-dodger.

  55. 55
    stringemup says:

    Bowled through the gate, or with a wrong’un ?

  56. 56
  57. 57
    Portaloo says:

    Where Werrity got his globetrotter’s gold is one thing. For Ministerial propriety, what also matters though is where Fox believed Werrity’s wonga came from.

    To have tortured the English language into “When it comes to the pecuniary interests of Mr Werritty in those conferences, I am absolutely confident that he was not dependent on any transactional behaviour to maintain his income” Fox must have known in some detail where the Werrity wonga came from, such detail in fact that he can be “absolutely confident” that it wasn’t whatever the tortured language of the second clause actually means.

    Mr Fox should therefore be able to brief GOD quite comprehensively on Werrity’s financial affairs.

  58. 58
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    The euro problems are drawn out, small things happen here and there and theres no great conclusion. Its also technical, detailed, and not easy to explain. Its boring and theres no scope for any kind of cock joke.

  59. 59
    Public Sector Parasite with enormous gold-plated pension & 5 hour working week says:

    So is all the speculation over whether he’s a bandit or not? Remember the stench of Labour financial incompetence will permeate this Country for decades.

  60. 60
    annette curton says:

    I predict it will soon go the way of Tulip bulbs.

  61. 61
    Sir William Waad says:

    ‘Adviser’ is more British. ‘Advisor’ is more American.

  62. 62
    Anne Drecks says:

    Move them to Wapping.

  63. 63
    Trinny says:

    For those of us too young to remember 1929, it already is the biggest financial crisis in living memory.

  64. 64
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  65. 65
    Just Curious, Moscow says:

    Why do they have so many Gay Bars and clubs so close to MI-6 headquarters?

  66. 66
    Bartholomew, George Osbornes teddy says:

    My man resents that assertion. He spent many hours with Natalie Rowe to assure himself of the title.

  67. 67
    Sir Geoffrey's punchbag says:

    The home of cricket is Hambledon.

  68. 68
    Pretty in Pink says:

    But why would any hetro sexual male want a card that is saying they bat for the other side?

  69. 69
    Sir Geoffrey's punchbag says:

    I believe a doosra involves an element of suprise.

  70. 70
    Sir Geoffrey's punchbag says:

    At least we know that Pickles loves children; baked, roast, grilled, boiled…….

  71. 71
    Billy Bowden is the world's greatest umpire! says:


    Right you chavie blackberry users.. lets see if you can organise a riot now you twats.


    David Cameron

    Sent from my iphone

  72. 72
    Lord Michael Caine says:

    Report of how hard its for MPs to now steal from taxpayer by ‘Dr Ira Madan’ you could not make this stuff up.

  73. 73
    YorkshireLad says:

    Folks who want to work with children are subject to more scrutiny than these tossers

  74. 74
    Sir William Waad says:

    Who ‘wins’ at PMQs is about as important as who wins the parents’ egg-and-spoon race at the school fete, since the debate isn’t a process whereby some consensus might be developed.

  75. 75
    Tonto says:

    No but it will get you into Mine Shaft the men’s only club in Soho. Guido should understand that it’s not just doors that will be opening for him. Still at the dog end of empire this is pretty much how the elite will spend their time. Sodomy and fraud.

  76. 76
    Dubcek says:

    And keeping voting till they get it right

  77. 77
    Sir William Waad says:

    Keep voting until you get the result the EU wants. And if they haven’t learnt that from a certain European country a little to the west of us, why then, that’s the craic she said with one leg up’n the dash and nothing on but the radio.

  78. 78
    right in the clinks says:

    Balls is get a tremendous kicking in the Commons.

  79. 79

    I just love the idea it is a mental health problem, can you imagine what the poor peons must be going through that don’t even earn the average! This country must be full of CRAZY people if claiming money that you don’t earn is difficult!

  80. 80
    Spokeperson for 650 crooks in the House of Crooks says:

    Correction its Dr ImA Madman.

  81. 81
    Anonymous says:

    Kamoron is a turd.

  82. 82
    Portaloo says:

    It seems the Bard may have got it wrong and 9″ will please a doctor as well as a lady.

  83. 83
    Well it's a thought says:

    Got to keep voting until the EU gets the right answer, Democracy in the EU at it’s best.

  84. 84
    Tax Payer says:

    They claim they spend 20% of their time on expenses paperwork, and 10 hours of an assistant’s time. And the stress of it all is causing psychological problems.

    WTF are they doing?

    Car – £x
    Rent – £x
    Staff – £x
    Stationary – £x

    30 minutes max per week. What else is there to do??

  85. 85
    Gok Wan Kered says:

    Get with it, darling! The ladies feel safe in the company of a poof. I have spent the last 25 years fondling, caressing, perving and gawping at their naked forms. Straight as a fucking die, me.

  86. 86
    Uncle Monty says:

    Card should just say “New in town” and be left in a phone box

  87. 87
    Harry Harman says:


  88. 88
    annette curton says:

    I echo your sentiment but suggest the three-legged sack race.

  89. 89
    Gordon Brown I saved the world. says:

    No keep voting till you get it wrong!

  90. 90
    Engineer says:

    You could say the same about phone-hacking, but it didn’t stop ‘em then.

  91. 91
    MI6 says:

    What I want to know is, how many Men are pretending to run the country while Some spooky or Foreign Power are controlling them by literally having their Fist up their rectum. If they dare to speak out, as Fox obviously has, then their Fate is assured. How many are living the lie and how much is the LIE costing our democracy.

  92. 92
    Gender Neutral Transexual on the BBC says:


  93. 93
    Silly Old Bag says:

    Is that a euphemism, dear?

  94. 94

    You must be joking…

    Tea =
    Hooker =
    Cookies =
    Bath Plug =
    Second house =
    Third house but bother in-laws rent =
    New office chair =
    Another new Laptop =
    Business cards for butt buddy =

    Thats just page one!

  95. 95
    MI6 says:

    I have Woke up, but I am sure that hunger in Brits Belly will stir the Lion and once it awakes beware you Media, Political, Bed wetters.

  96. 96
    Ah! Monika says:

    LOL thanks

  97. 97
    Adviser for Ed Miliband says:

    Ed Miliband to get a proper suit along with some real policies. Another nose job that works.

  98. 98
    AC1 says:

    Not that hyperboling moron.

  99. 99
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Come on. Loads of celebs and a murdered school girl.
    You’ve not played media top trumps before have you?

  100. 100
    Sticky Back Plastic says:

    How? Screen dump and scissors?

  101. 101
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I was going to go for a student debating society. Winner gets a bottle of bubbly.

    But thats too close to the actual truth to pass as humour.

  102. 102
    Elfin Safety says:

    Didn’t they ban the egg-an-spoon race on the grounds that it was, potentially, a choking hazard?

  103. 103
    My Other Van's A Comma says:

    Is there a split infinitive in there somewhere?

  104. 104
    Elfin Safety says:

    Fuck knows.

  105. 105
    annette curton says:

    Just needs re-arranging; I a tremendous Balls gets kicking in the Commons.

  106. 106
    Ah! Monika says:

    Bloody solicitors charge by the minute for working out your bill. £120 on top of £3000 fee

  107. 107
    nell says:



    gordon says we should all give the EU $2.74trillion!!!

    anybody fancy a business card with “Advisor to Gordon Brown the deluded man of kirkcaldy on it”?

  108. 108
    AC1 says:

    Not really. The state accepts them as payment for taxes.

  109. 109
    AC1 says:

    Oh it’s much bigger than 1929. Hopefully we don’t get another FDR to make it much worse.

  110. 110
    we'll all have beards one day says:

    The guy is genius personified.

  111. 111
    Anonymous says:

    Mirror mirror.

  112. 112
    Well it's a thought says:

    Can’t understand why the don’t do what were all forced to do, expenses paid as per HMRC regulations, simple ,but then they would have no excuses or sympathy , don’t you know were all in this together.

  113. 113
    Anonymous says:

    Piss off you stupid old cow.

  114. 114
    Well it's a thought says:

    Who’s Gordon Brown, I believe there is supposed to be an MP by that name but I believe he’s gone off to stay with Lord Lucan.

  115. 115
    Iranian Revolutionary Guards' Al-Quds Brigade says:

    Greetings Mr Fawkes,

    We are very keen to meet with you and see if you can facilitate access to Dr Fox to discuss a possible deal involving military supplies to the Islamic Republic. We are also interested in discussing an additional contract to have certain individuals “taken care of” in the US.

    Looking forward to our meeting in Dubai,

    Yours sincerely etc etc

  116. 116
    aboukir says:

    In 1994 the editor of the Guardian newspaper, Peter Preston, was reprimanded for impersonating the MP Jonathan Aitken by sending a fax on House of Commons notepaper.

    Journalistic standards eh ? Whatever next – hacking phones ?

  117. 117
    Andy Burnham says:

    He was a great, great man. I loved him.
    But not in the Hague/Fox way.

  118. 118
    Adam Oddity says:

    I’m a consultant to Dr Fox {small print -the D-J Dr Fox} and there’s much we should discuss. The Iranian Revolutionary Guards’ Al-Quds Brigade is an organisation that I could do some business with. I’ll be in Dubai, but if you cannot meet there, just check the minister’s schedule on yougov, and I won’t be far away.
    Mr Oddity.

    PS – I understand that you have some reservations in your culture about homosexuality.
    I would like to reassure you that this is just a front we use to disguise profiteering from ministerial office.

  119. 119
    Andy Pandy Poo says:

    I’ve already registered my fury on another section of this estimable blog. Barry of Bournemouth has dropped me right in it by saying he knew nothing about my activities and was shocked.

    Shocked? This is the man who shared my bed on his wedding night! This is the man who said he’d care for me till the day he died! This is the man to whom I dedicated my nine-incher!

    Talk about ingratitude. I’m trying to think of a way of getting back at him. Can anyone help?

  120. 120
    Pedant says:

    Guido – no such word as ‘advisOr’ – should know better!!!!

  121. 121
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Lot of us, and I, as you all know, am contolled by Russia. I am however invulnerable being both an MP and a Freemason and here’s the evidence:



  122. 122
    Gordon Broon says:

    I was a Senior Advisor.
    To God, and I saved the world.

  123. 123
    Scots Jimmy says:

    Does the logo represent the House of Commons or the sign over a City of Westminster public urinal?

  124. 124
    Liam Foxy says:

    Fuck the EU vote UKIP

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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

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