October 12th, 2011

Jobs for the Boys


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    Now i now we are fooked ;-)


  2. 2
    Tax Payer says:

    I’ve heard you can’t slip a business card between Fox and Werritty.


  3. 3
    Selohesra says:

    So do you advise him up the arse as well?


  4. 4
    Redpen says:

    Shouldn’t that be ‘Advisor’.


  5. 5
    Millibands Munters says:

    I wonder how many cards he has in phone boxes.


  6. 6
    BaggPuss says:

    Excellent. I’ve made several cards so I’m off now to open doors.


  7. 8
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Will one of those cards get me into Lords for free?


  8. 10
    The heir to Blair says:

    Apparently works better on back doors than front doors


  9. 12
    Jesme the unloved Fox says:

    Has the fragrant Liam got pederastic copy of fellow ministers?


  10. 17
    Joss Taskin says:

    Will a card like that get me First Class flights all over the World ??


  11. 18
    Rat's arse says:

    Ed balls on Parliament channel, making a complete & utter tw*t of himself.


  12. 19
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Careful dahlings….otherwise could be Gay Fawkes!


  13. 20
    Voice of Reason says:

    Surely Dr Liar Fox would have been more correct o the business card.


    • 35
      annette curton says:

      A graphic depicting a pack of hounds chasing it into its lair would be rather good (The Disappearing Fox Tattoo).


    • 37
      annette curton says:

      A graphic depicting a pack of hounds chasing it into its lair would be rather good (The Disapp+aring Fox Tattoo).


  14. 21
    Billy No Balls says:

    It appears that some MPs are claiming the the new expenses regime is leaving them out of pocket. It’s a bit like me claiming that travelling into work every week leaves me out of pocket as my employer doesn’t pay my train fare in each week.
    Of course Diane “do as I say not as I do” Abbot is under the impression that most employers pay for their staff to get a taxi home each night.


    • 84
      Tax Payer says:

      They claim they spend 20% of their time on expenses paperwork, and 10 hours of an assistant’s time. And the stress of it all is causing psychological problems.

      WTF are they doing?

      Car – £x
      Rent – £x
      Staff – £x
      Stationary – £x

      30 minutes max per week. What else is there to do??


    • 112
      Well it's a thought says:

      Can’t understand why the don’t do what were all forced to do, expenses paid as per HMRC regulations, simple ,but then they would have no excuses or sympathy , don’t you know were all in this together.


  15. 28
    Thrilled to be near says:

    On the back of all of Andrew’s cards I understand there’s a discreet reference to his length.

    I’ve heard it’s a nine-incher.

    Can you confirm?


  16. 29
    Lord Prescotts of Birds Eye says:

    So that Pikey fook, Fawkes likes it oop his foocken arsepipe too, I always fooken knew that yeh Oirish fook


  17. 32
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    At least this proves the Tories right that ID cards were a waste of money!


  18. 36

    Dave’s got another Fag. That’s what you get at Eton right? Fags?


  19. 38

    You know what? Fuck it, I think I am going to get some cards printed, what are they going to do charge me with Fraud, No because his buddy got away with it so can you. At the very least it would make a great story. The duplicity of justice.


  20. 44
    Jabba the Cat says:

    Any chance of getting hold of the cellar keys for the 5th of November?


  21. 50
    Engineer says:

    Can’t help feeling that this story is being squeezed for every last drop of speculation by some in the MSM in order to avoid talking about the problems in the Euro zone. Sure, it’s a story, and might be a political scandal, so it should be reported, but I can’t help feeling that the Euro has the potential to blow up into the biggest financial crisis in living memory. Surely that deserves more air-time and column inches (no double entendre intended)?

    (Guido at least has an excuse – he’s quite upfront about blogging rumour and tittle-tattle, not serious political issues.)


    • 58
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      The euro problems are drawn out, small things happen here and there and theres no great conclusion. Its also technical, detailed, and not easy to explain. Its boring and theres no scope for any kind of cock joke.


    • 63
      Trinny says:

      For those of us too young to remember 1929, it already is the biggest financial crisis in living memory.


  22. 51

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-15267426 – See how hard it is being an MP you make 3 times the average salary and they make it impossible for you to claim your scotch egg and new sofa! It is enough to make a man go wild I tell you!


    • 72
      Lord Michael Caine says:

      Report of how hard its for MPs to now steal from taxpayer by ‘Dr Ira Madan’ you could not make this stuff up.


  23. 53
    Ah! Monika says:

    How do you get the cards to print?


  24. 56
  25. 57
    Portaloo says:

    Where Werrity got his globetrotter’s gold is one thing. For Ministerial propriety, what also matters though is where Fox believed Werrity’s wonga came from.

    To have tortured the English language into “When it comes to the pecuniary interests of Mr Werritty in those conferences, I am absolutely confident that he was not dependent on any transactional behaviour to maintain his income” Fox must have known in some detail where the Werrity wonga came from, such detail in fact that he can be “absolutely confident” that it wasn’t whatever the tortured language of the second clause actually means.

    Mr Fox should therefore be able to brief GOD quite comprehensively on Werrity’s financial affairs.


  26. 64
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


  27. 68
    Pretty in Pink says:

    But why would any hetro sexual male want a card that is saying they bat for the other side?


    • 85
      Gok Wan Kered says:

      Get with it, darling! The ladies feel safe in the company of a poof. I have spent the last 25 years fondling, caressing, perving and gawping at their naked forms. Straight as a fucking die, me.


  28. 71
    Billy Bowden is the world's greatest umpire! says:


    Right you chavie blackberry users.. lets see if you can organise a riot now you twats.


    David Cameron

    Sent from my iphone


  29. 73
    YorkshireLad says:

    Folks who want to work with children are subject to more scrutiny than these tossers


  30. 78
    right in the clinks says:

    Balls is get a tremendous kicking in the Commons.


  31. 87
    Harry Harman says:



  32. 92
    Gender Neutral Transexual on the BBC says:



  33. 97
    Adviser for Ed Miliband says:

    Ed Miliband to get a proper suit along with some real policies. Another nose job that works.


  34. 107
    nell says:



    gordon says we should all give the EU $2.74trillion!!!

    anybody fancy a business card with “Advisor to Gordon Brown the deluded man of kirkcaldy on it”?


  35. 115
    Iranian Revolutionary Guards' Al-Quds Brigade says:

    Greetings Mr Fawkes,

    We are very keen to meet with you and see if you can facilitate access to Dr Fox to discuss a possible deal involving military supplies to the Islamic Republic. We are also interested in discussing an additional contract to have certain individuals “taken care of” in the US.

    Looking forward to our meeting in Dubai,

    Yours sincerely etc etc


    • 118
      Adam Oddity says:

      I’m a consultant to Dr Fox {small print -the D-J Dr Fox} and there’s much we should discuss. The Iranian Revolutionary Guards’ Al-Quds Brigade is an organisation that I could do some business with. I’ll be in Dubai, but if you cannot meet there, just check the minister’s schedule on yougov, and I won’t be far away.
      Mr Oddity.

      PS – I understand that you have some reservations in your culture about homosexuality.
      I would like to reassure you that this is just a front we use to disguise profiteering from ministerial office.


  36. 116
    aboukir says:

    In 1994 the editor of the Guardian newspaper, Peter Preston, was reprimanded for impersonating the MP Jonathan Aitken by sending a fax on House of Commons notepaper.

    Journalistic standards eh ? Whatever next – hacking phones ?


  37. 119
    Andy Pandy Poo says:

    I’ve already registered my fury on another section of this estimable blog. Barry of Bournemouth has dropped me right in it by saying he knew nothing about my activities and was shocked.

    Shocked? This is the man who shared my bed on his wedding night! This is the man who said he’d care for me till the day he died! This is the man to whom I dedicated my nine-incher!

    Talk about ingratitude. I’m trying to think of a way of getting back at him. Can anyone help?


  38. 120
    Pedant says:

    Guido – no such word as ‘advisOr’ – should know better!!!!


  39. 123
    Scots Jimmy says:

    Does the logo represent the House of Commons or the sign over a City of Westminster public urinal?


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