September 9th, 2011

Bell Tries to Up His Game

What a strange coincidence: after a hounding from his local press and an investigation launched by the Labour Party, Sir Stuart Bell has taken up the tool that many of his colleagues use to convince us they are doing something:!/StuartBellMP/status/111829408628740097

Why not use Twitter to ask him what the weather is like in Paris?

Via @jimwaterson

UPDATE: Turns out it’s fake. Guido isn’t quite sure why someone would go to the effort for such a dull fake, but c’est la vie. Miliband’s office have told the BBC that the Chief Whip has had a “stern conversation” with Bell. A classic Labour Party “investigation”.


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Well not having a twitter account i will ask using the comments box here: Sir Stuart, why are you such a hypocrite?

  2. 2
    genghiz the kahn says:

    For whom the Bell tolls.

  3. 3
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Also can someone ask him if he is satisfied that by not holding a sugery for 14 years how he can represent the views of his constituants in a credible manner?

    It is also nice to see Ed miliband clamp down hard on him and force him to open a twitter account.

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    ‘But those who must be feeling the most let down, the most disappointed, are the millions of Conservative voters who believed the promises of David Cameron,’ he will say.

    ‘They have begun to realise that when Mr Cameron makes promises about EU referendums, immigration figures or human rights legislation, that he is doing so simply to get their vote without ever meaning it himself.

    Read more:

  5. 5
    Steve Miliband says:

    Anonymous = gutless labour troll

  6. 6
    Call me Infidel says:

    Don’t know about taken up the tool but Bell (end) is a first class tool that’s for sure.

  7. 7
    Steve Miliband says:

    How do we know it’s him.
    Perhaps it’s Mrs Bell justifying her £35k

  8. 8
    Loungelizard says:

    Reckon he musta had a dead ringer!

  9. 9
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Just in case you don’t want to wait 14 years for an answeR: quite nice.

  10. 10
    MrAngry61 says:

    “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”

    Besides, the disconnect between Bell & his electorate is only likely to widen when he tweets about good meals enjoyed with convivial French politicians in Paris…

  11. 11
    For whom the Bell tolls says:

    It’s Bell Guido not Bells. You must have Balls on the brain.

  12. 12
    Steve Miliband says:

    Ou comme on dit à Paris, Bienvenue sur le twitter officiel de Sir Stuart Bell pour Middlesbrough MP en Paris

  13. 13
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    Not really, I do think he should resign. Legally nothing can be done.

  15. 15
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “Guido fact: over a 2 month period @StuartBell missed 65% of votes. Gordon Brown missed 67% of votes.”

  16. 16
    Geoff, England says:

    Unfortunately, Bell’s Twitter page is about the last page most of his constituents are likely to visit when they visit social network sites.

    By the way, Bell’s 73, so he should have retired years ago.

  17. 17
    Loungelizard says:

    Just shows how much our politicos can get away with if they really want to push their luck.

  18. 18
    Geoff, England says:

    I don’t suppose Bell hears too many people speaking French in Paris, just as you don’t hear too many people speaking English in London.

  19. 19
    Iloathlefties says:

    They’re all useless. If we all keep voting for the mainstream then we’ll get more of the ……….same. Time for UKIP me thinks. All of the current lot are corrupt, lieing, lazy, corrupt ba**ards. Then we may see some action on leaving the EU, immigration, Human Rights, foreign aid.
    Enough is enough.

  20. 20
    Bell Du Jour says:

    Hello twats in Middlesborough. I know how you’ll vote because you’re thick. Meanwhile I’m nailing French twat like a machine tool. My bellend’s as raw as a piece of sushi. Winning you losers.

  21. 21
    Selgin says:

    An absentee MP with a wife paid out of the public purse to assist him in the non-provision of services to constituents.

    So farewell Stinkerbell with your fetid fairy dust – more able liars and swindlers are already struggling to take your seat.

  22. 22
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    billy, you are developing a nice touch of irony. RedEd clamping down hard indeed!

  23. 23
    fuck off says:

    Why don’t you ask him you twat?

  24. 24
    A Minion says:

    I wanted a career in politics but I ended up inventing tweets for this bloke Bell.

  25. 25
    les says:

    What does he claim for his “office” – is his wife on the payroll?

  26. 26
    Tessa Tickles says:

    It’s all very well him opening a Twitter account, but apart from people here, who’s going to see it other than educationally subnormal 14-year-olds?

  27. 27
    Loungelizard says:

    But Gordon’s a world leader, can’t piss about at Westminster, far more important things to do like…..?

  28. 28
    Gonk says:

    He probably is. But he’s right.

  29. 29
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Notice that, for the Beeb Met map, London no longer exists. Suppose they haven’t got round to marking Manchester up yet?

  30. 30
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Spending other peoples money?

  31. 31
    Steve Miliband says:

    Just looked at his tweets.

    What a pathetic attempt to justify his existence as a constituency MP

  32. 32
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    ….and telling people how to spend other people’s money. It’s a Socialist Core Value.

  33. 33
    Sir William Waad says:

    Sir Stuart Bell, the honourable member for the 8th arrondissement.

  34. 34
    Old Tory says:

    He reminds me of the wretched Wintertons it the “position old boy” …do they give one shit about their constituents?

  35. 35
    Nemo says:

    Is that Twitter or Twit

  36. 36
    Bell Du Jour says:

    Those French chicks really go for the “Sir” thing. You wouldn’t believe it . In fact , I’ve stopped counting. Lucky boy , yeah !!!!!

  37. 37
    retardEd says:

    Thith ith the thort of sthrong leadership the counthry needth.

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    london is a c’untry in its own right

  39. 39
    Nemo says:

    That’s true Tess but again who would want to unless they desperate for something to do, he will not look at it any by past performance.

  40. 40
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    I’m reading a book called. “The Structure of Politics at the Accession of George III”.
    Nothing has changed, the piggies are feeding from the same troughs, and Sir Stuart would fit right in in Walpole’s Govt.

  41. 41
    Twatter says:

    Without a hint of irony, he uses the word “earned”.

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    does twitter give him some credibility then – what an arse

  43. 43
    Homer says:

    “Takes one to know one”…. Swish

  44. 44
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    And one they never fail to keep reminding us about.

  45. 45
    les says:

    Is the twitter account real?

  46. 46
    Nemo says:

    Plenty of them there, touble is it is a country within a country

  47. 47
    Nemo says:

    Touch of the Billies again

  48. 48
    Loungelizard says:

    This is about Gordon again isn’t it ?

  49. 49
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Lines to take well and truley recived.

  50. 50
    Loungelizard says:

    Coffee in a small cafe in Paris.

  51. 51
    Nemo says:

    He cannot remember the retirement age poor soul, still he can go to sleep in the HoP he wants to get a good pension

  52. 52
    Ah! Monika says:

    Batten down the hatches – there’s a HURRICANE heading to the UK: Katia expected to lash parts of Britain by Tuesday

    Time to switch Windmills off. They can’t take high winds

    Read more:

  53. 53
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I guess you’re supposed to all know where london is.

  54. 54
    Ah! Monika says:

    Winds will miss Paris.

  55. 55
    A family Affair says:

    Yep he employs his wife Margaret at the taxpayer’s expense and he also has a french speaking bimbo Madeleine Howatson on the books who used to be a 2political officer” at the French embassy in Paris.

    Ed balls’ staff are on the same page. Why does he need so many?

  56. 56
    Albert Hall says:

    Guido whats with the text bein in white?

  57. 57
    Albert Hall says:

    Refreshed ok now.

  58. 58
    Nemo says:

    Does he take his lead from Gordy or is Gordy taking his lead from Tinkerbell

  59. 59
  60. 60
    i wonder says:

    Did he take that pic?

  61. 61
    Bell Du Jour says:

    What’s the betting that thief Bell paid for the well earned coffee ?

  62. 62
    I Hate Blue Labour says:

    Shameless old fool.

  63. 63
    Tachybaptus says:

    No doubt he is employing an assistant to write his tweets for him. At our expense.

  64. 64
    Anonymous says:

    Bell – end

  65. 65
    bullshitter says:

    So, its 11.54 now and Bell’s appointement was at 11 according to his ‘tweet’…
    Amazing all the other stuff he’s been able to do in the meantime…

    StuartBellMP Sir Stuart Bell
    Grey skies over Linthorpe
    16 minutes ago

    by StuartBellMP
    Anyone that mentions @retrofootyshirt who retweets this before 3pm tommorow will go into the hat to win a shirt;-).*simples*
    42 minutes ago

    StuartBellMP Sir Stuart Bell
    Out and about with @Richardpolshow later today see me on look north tonight
    25 minutes ago

    StuartBellMP Sir Stuart Bell
    Just seen the large slogan painted onto a fence on keith road have chased up to see it removed at request of grove hill residents
    41 minutes ago

    StuartBellMP Sir Stuart Bell
    Just finished 2nd meeting of the morning off for a well earned coffee before my next appointment at 11am
    1 hour ago

  66. 66
    Penfold says:

    Bell’s exposure seems to be some sort of set up.
    He’s been acting this way for ages, so why does the story come out now.?
    Is he being used as a convenient cover.?

    Frankly the man should resign, he’s guilty of the most appalling behaviour, not a leg morally to stand upon.

    If he does resign then that put’s pressure on Gordo to do the decent thing.

  67. 67
    Loungelizard says:

    Yes there was cash for questions and causes even in those far off days, nothing changes….

  68. 68
    rocknrolla says:

    The man is an utter cretin.

  69. 69
    MrAngry61 says:

    Guido isn’t quite sure why someone would go to the effort for such a dull fake…

    Perhaps because a boring, self-satisfied twitter feed might appear to be more credible?

  70. 70
    The Pendant says:

    Sir Stuart Bell – incompetent lazy venal TWIT.
    Labour will slap him on the wrist much as Harriet Harperson did to Dumbleby on QT.

  71. 71
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Oh its fake.

  72. 72
    The Pendant says:

    I really do not understand what all the fuss is about.
    I go away abroad on holidays for a well earned rest with my wife, and simply because I have not had constituent surgeries or can be contacted for years does not mean I am sleeping on the job.
    I am sleeping OFF the job like many of my fellow MP’s, and of course our world saving past PM Mr Gordon Brown, who is a vital role model to me.

  73. 73
    The Pendant says:

    Gordo and decent thing do not mix – an oxymoron undoubtedly

  74. 74
  75. 75
    smoggie says:

    He’s totally in tune with his constituents – does fuck all and gets money for it.

  76. 76
    Backwoodsman says:

    Clearly a sort of cut price Winterton – he missed a trick not getting a seat for his wife though !
    However, he is obviously a vital man for sections of the labour party leadership. Come the next election and the boundary changes, it’ll be ‘step forward Lord Bell’ and hello Middlesbrough from blinky, or another of the soon to be disposessed !

  77. 77
    Stan Butler says:

    Farage giving a cracking speech at the UKIP conference.

  78. 78
    stun says:

    Seem to be two fake ones and a real one….

  79. 79
    Ichabod says:

    Enjoying watching today’s Daily Politics show. O.K. A. Neil has Friday’s off, but one of the guests today is the ravishing Sarah Sands–phwoarrrrr factor 9 /10. Unfortunately the other guest is Mehdi Hassan ( spelling ?) , who looks as though he’d slit any kaffirs throat if they stepped out of line. Horrible man.

  80. 80
    off message says:

    certainly sounded like it…no wonder BBC took it off

  81. 81
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Was it videoed?

  82. 82
    Call me Dave - eco-loon and trougher says:

    Carry on and remain calm. Keep paying your electricity and gas bills, all those hidden green taxes are needed for my very rich family and friends.

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    Iloathlefties says: September 9, 2011 at 11:23 am

    UKIP could start e-petition, UKIP will get few million signing but UKIP is not doing it. Some on said UKIP MSPs make one million plus a year, if UK comes out of EU they cannot make this money, this is why they are not doing it.

  84. 84
    pot 'n' kettle says:

    The fucking Tory party let itself down electing the twat Cameron.

  85. 85
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    England win toss and bowl first.

  86. 86
    Fifi says:

    O Sir Bell eet ees fortunate you are not in Angleterre, you would be receving a massive blow.

  87. 87
    Anonymous says:

    If I remember correctly, this government was going to change the law so that if certain percentage of votes can sign a petition and deselect a sitting MP. Looks like it has gone out of the window.

  88. 88
    twat watch says:

    Billy wins the biggest tosser prize.

  89. 89
    Tough on crime LOL says:

    You can be rest assured that that evil c*** who was party to the killing of Baby p would have been given a very stern talking to before his release.

  90. 90
    Stan Butler says:

    Interesting how he appealed to disaffected Tories who are now seeing just what a liar Cameron has been shown to be. Farage was right to highlight the broken promises on EU referenda, immigration, crime etc. Cameron has had the time to start programmes on these matters but has failed to do so. I don’t mind paying my share of increased taxes, cut child tax credits and a potential child benefit loss, but I expect something in return and I’m afraid the Troies have/are failing to deliver on the big issues.

  91. 91
    out says:

    you going to ruin the game again ffs?
    Fuck up and let us enjoy order order during the day without having the highlights ruined later

  92. 92
    Just because its a stereotype doesnt mean it isnt true says:

    Thankfully Camerons stereo typical humour was not matched by a stereotypical flounce errrr

  93. 93
    nadine suckmeoff says:

    only 9/10?

    50 years old, nice face, nice cun*t

  94. 94
    albacore says:

    Ding dong Bell
    Stewpot’s doin’ well
    Who votes him in?
    Maybe kith and kin?
    Who’ll turf him out?
    Young Ed’s got the clout
    What he needs is urgery
    To attend his surgery
    It ne’er did Gordie harm
    Tell him so, Eddie
    Use your reddy charm

  95. 95
    Was Brown right? says:

    Print more money and cut rates!

    “That is why Christine Lagarde says our policy stance remains appropriate. But I agree with her that policy makers must remain alert to risks. That is why the automatic stabilisers and the ability of monetary policy to respond are key parts of the flexibility built in to our plan.”

  96. 96
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    First two questions: well the chap who wants to win his seat has been on about it – probably for some time. Then the local newspaper has a go.

    However, all of a sudden its turned up on Guido’s radar, and it seems that makes more of a difference to the newspapers. And of course, now guido’s got hold of it and shaking it like a jack russel.

  97. 97
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I guess its like fishing. Make the bait look as realistic as possible.

  98. 98
    Hari Seldon says:

    Stinkerbell’s parents should be evicted from their retirement home, and have their state pensions cut off.

  99. 99
    Ian Hislop says:

    Fuck off billy and stop sponging off the tax payer!

  100. 100
    Bob Dole says:

    Can someone ask billy why he doesn’t feel the need to get a job?

  101. 101
    Andy JS says:

    Don’t miss Stuart Bell’s p@rnogr@phic novel, Paris 69:

  102. 102
    David Laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

    First Bell now Sharma, what is Milipede going to do. Milipede senior was nearly saying the Iraq War was a mistake on Liebour’s Question Time last night. Revolting person like Blair, they had their chance in office and wrecked the reputation of the UK as well as themselves. BBC thought it balanced to have a Bush supporter on saying how wonderful Blair was… now there’s a surprise. Dumbledumb did not produce any facts, even from Chilcott, to correct him why the war was illegal and how Blair lied, misled, deceived, sex up documents-call it what you will- Parliament so the UK would go to war with US.

    BBC needs chopping. The socialist shit shat channel gets worse by the day.

  103. 103
    Reimer says:

    Just googled her – not bad, but her image cache is sprinkled with odd strangers (as ever) inc M Gove (ugh).

    Mehdi Hassan….shudder, motormouthed Muslamic version of the repugnant Aaronovitch.

  104. 104
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Time to ding his dong!

  105. 105
    Hang The Bastards says:

    I disagree… Something can be done!

    His wife has snatched £35,000 (an over the top salary for office duties BTW), for basically doing Jack Shit !

    They are both thieving bastards !

  106. 106
    Al Dipco says:

    Just for the record, the French do not have an embassy in Paris.

  107. 107
    Al Dipco says:

    Try Le Coq d’Or – ask any taxi driver for directions.

  108. 108
    anonymous says:

    we all know where london is.

    we have london rammed down our throats every bloody day.

    even the bloody cricket is played more in london than anywhere else these days.

    and then there’s the bloody olympics ….

    london is the bottom, as in arse, of the country

    shit place with shit people

  109. 109
    Funboy Three says:

    Hi Stuart, I’m still waiting for my fee for supplying the three rent boys.

    Lord Mandelson told me you paid on time.

  110. 110
    Raoul Moat says:

    Stuart pal, I can fix all your problems.

  111. 111
    Anonymous says:

    I thought this was about a labour MP who hasnt had a surgery for 12 years, not about the PM.

  112. 112
    Anonymous says:

    I see Rachel Kinnock works for Ed.

  113. 113
    Handycock ( Teen Fondler) says:

    Now I have got my new £600 iPad on MP’s expenses, I will be opening a twitter account myself, if my secretary shows me how to do it. I will then be able to tweet about my many conquests, and, get even more, because all the young girls I know are desperate to become celebs. How are you doing up north Katya? I’m missing you.

  114. 114

    Idle bastard, just the odd tweet

  115. 115
    Vince Cable's rucksack says:

    Did you know, he’s following his own Twitter account? !!!!!

  116. 116
    Alcoholics Anonymous says:

    He’s only sober 2 hours a year. He can’t even wipe his own arse cos he always totally pissed the whole time.

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