Friday, September 30, 2011

Young Conservatives Sex Act Picture Sensation

The Young Britons’ Foundation will be launching this poster campaign at Tory conference. Something tells Guido that the Chancellor might be able to relate to this one:

Maybe they are “wet” after all…

You can download a high-res version for your own amusement here.

Indy’s Independence Whacked

Have you noticed anything different about the Indy in the last couple of days?

Well it seems that the paper has finally conceded that it is politically biased and susceptible to proprietorial influence. Given Evgeny Lebedev “speaks regularly” to the editor Chris Blackhurst, it was only a matter of time before the paper would have to quietly drop their lofty pretensions…

UPDATE: Co-conspirators point out that the change coincided with the arrival of Chris Blackhurst in the editor’s chair.

Friday Caption Contest (Three Tits Edition)

Ken Living-Stone Baked

Thanks to those nice people at Pizza Express, today’s blogging is fuelled by their Boris and Ken specials. You can pledge your allegiance in London Pizza Expresses from the 3rd – 17th:

We literally eat politicians for lunch…

Follow Friday FoI

Paul Waugh has confirmed that a locked and hidden Twitter account is in fact that of the Downing Street Director of Communications:

Given that Craig Oliver is using his job title and place of work in his Twitter name, Guido feels we have a right to know what he’s pushing. As well as being nosy…

Nick Boles a Wide Ball

Nick Boles has taken to the pages of the Telegraph to give a not-so-coded warning that Tory MPs should behave themselves at their conference and not to rock the boat:

” …what we need now is to put away our favourite ideological hobby horses, ignore the political positioning of the other parties…”

Heaven forbid that a newbie MP might dare utter something vaguely ideological to the party faithful. Even worse they might try to tackle an issue close to the heart of their party in a pamphlet. It’s probably best not to mention that this time last year “Enoch” Boles was being praised for the “radical approach to immigration” set out in his pre-conference book “Which Way is Up“ then. What a difference a year makes though, eh Nick?

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Early Bird Top Tory Fringe Events

Courtesy of the FringeList.com service, based on users who have downloaded the free App or registered to receive free SMS text message reminders to attend events, we bring you the top 10 most popular fringe events:

#1 Winning Campaigns

#2 How The Conservatives Can Win The Next Election

#3 Cameron’s Candidates? Primaries, the A-list and the way forward

#4 The Official Conference Tweet-up

#5 Midnight Reception

#6 Beers of Europe

#7 The Andrew Neil Interview

#8 Class of 2010 – The Future of the Conservative Party

#9 Smarter Leaner, Better: The future of local public services

#10  Stand Up For Liberty! Drinks Reception

Go to My.Fringelist.com and register for event reminders. Handily the App works even when you are in the conference zone and can’t get a phone signal. You can even find out which fringe events Guido and Neo-Guido will be attending here and here. If you were that way inclined you could search for which events have have free booze at the click of a button, technology is a wonderful thing…

Yes Campaign Attempts to Rewrite History

John Denham, Labour’s anti-Business Secretary, told an electoral reform fringe meeting yesterday that the:

“Lib Dems were totally kippered in Yes campaign by thinking ‘We mustn’t do anything to upset the Tories…'”

N02AV veterans have barely been able to keep a straight face at this one, especially given that Chris Huhne was sitting on the very same panel. What was it about Huhne calling other members of the Cabinet Nazis that suggested he was reining in his behaviour?

Boris on Cameron the Chump

The hand of the FT’s Christopher Cook can once again be felt in story that the Tories will find rather unhelpful. The disgruntled former Tory adviser has lifted the lid on life working next to Boris’s old parliamentary office. Paul Waugh has got hold of extracts of Cook speaking to Sonia Purnell for a her new “Just Boris” biography:

“Boris and I got on because we have similar dislike of most members of the Conservative party,’ explains Chris Cook – one of David Willetts’ aides, also based in the annexe room. ‘He’s clearly not on the right wing, but actually quite Europhile in Tory terms. He liked to come into our office to gossip and bitch about the right-wingers, particularly Liam Fox, or indeed anyone else he thought had screwed up the party that week.”

Then, coincidently, there are some rather more colourful descriptions of what Boris used to moot as ideas for his Telegraph column. In 2006 he suggested opening one with:

‘One thing that has become apparent to me in my years of Parliamentary service is that David Cameron is a complete c**t’.

Vero nihil verius!

Exclusive: Murdoch Pulps Gulp Porno Times

In what is being described as an unnecessary blow 100,000 first editions of The Times were pulped this morning. An article by Janice Turner about the porn industry was accidentally illustrated with a photo of a nubile woman performing a sex act on a man. This was not a competitive response to Richard Desmond’s successful grab for the News of the World’s readers. Though it could have helped with the million-quid-a -week losses at The Times…

Inside sources say it was only in the first edition and none were sent out. Which kind of sucks…


Seen Elsewhere

Comply or Die at Grauniad | MediaGuido
Labour Beats UKIP in South Yorkshire | LabourList
Mock the Week’s Weak Comedy | Nigel Farage
Can Jim Murphy Save Scottish Labour? | Guardian
There is Still Appetite for the Westminster Lunch | Jon Craig
Labour Turn Their Backs on Jewish Community | Dan Hodges
Chivalry is Not Dead | Laura Perrins
Jonathan Jones is a Tw*t | Iain Dale
Second Scotland Poll Suggests Labour Wipeout | Times
Paedo Probe Boss Urged to Quit | Sun
Keynesian Tories Won’t Eliminate Deficit | Tim Montgomerie


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Zac Goldsmith: “The hon. Gentleman might like to know that today’s Guido Fawkes quote of the day is the one on drug laws that we have heard cited by a number of hon. Members.”

Mike Hancock: “I am delighted to hear that Guido Fawkes is talking about something other than me.”



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Is it just me, or is Nigel Farage just a top hat and a monocle away from being a Batman villain?


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