July 22nd, 2011

Indy Newsroom’s Hari Missing Poster

One of Guido’s co-conspirators at the Indy sent this in. They are clearly worried about Johann Hari and have put this thoughtful missing poster at strategic points around the Indy’s newsroom floor at Northcliffe House.

The Council of the Orwell Prize met yesterday to consider and review Johann Hari’s cut ‘n pasting as well as evidence of plagiarism and passing off helpfully submitted by the public and readers of this blog. We await their judgement. 


  1. 1
    David Rose says:

    he has also deleted his blog AND the archive

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    He has been relived of his duties.

    that or he is on his way to the Guy News room with someone elses CV.

  3. 3
    Blue Eyes says:

    He can do what so many other “left-wing bullshitters who get found out” do, turn to “teaching”.

  4. 4
    tub_thumper says:

    irish times in phone hacking shock.

    they now have hundreds of phones all chopped up

  5. 5

    Are you suggesting the bugger has done a robert maxwell?

  6. 6
    Ross says:

    You’ve got to feel sorry for him.

    No only kidding.

  7. 7
    tub_thumper says:

    he looks a like a fat gay harry potter

  8. 8
    tub_thumper says:

    he looks like a fat poof

  9. 9
    Alex says:

    So it would appear he’s not well liked by his colleagues then.

    No why doesn’t that surprise me?

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    Well that’s just a photo of somebody holding up a sheet they themselves could have produced? In any office. Although I bow to your source’s credibility.

  11. 11
    Serf says:

    No one beleived him he’s so upset. BUNT!

    What about David ‘Mastermind’ Lammy’s expenses eh? He’s a bloody immigration advice agency it seems! Another BUNT!

  12. 12
    simon says:

    Has Hari another identity? That pic looks like writer extroaidinaire Russell T Davies to me.

  13. 13
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    Would you say the plagisim is as wide spread as phone-hacking in the media?

  14. 14
    tub_thumper says:

    he is probably standing up in a steaming cauldron with spearchuckers dancing round it

  15. 15
    IPSA says:

    We have limits, but if you go over them don’t worry, we’ll pay anyway.

  16. 16
    The Mirror says:

    His Satnav intimates he is somewhere in Norfolk

  17. 17
    Ok Get back to work now. says:

    There’s a fine dividing line between taking the piss and bullying in the workplace. If I were managing that newsroom, I would let them know that they’ve had a good laugh but its time to move on and take those posters down. Someone less lenient than me would probably give the culprit a verbal warning,

  18. 18
    Postal Vote says:

    He’s on a 2 week hacking course …

    … not sure what his or her full name is, but when I read the brochure for the course it named as main tutor the initials AC, supposedly with vast industry experience.

  19. 19
    Steve Miliband says:


    Would you say the plagisim is as wide spread as phone-hacking in the media?

  20. 20
    DR says:

    He’s probably shacked up with Damien McBride …

  21. 21
    tub_thumper says:

    he is probably standing in a steaming cauldron with people of colour with sharpend projectiles dancing round it

    fucking moderators take all the humour out


  22. 22
    Eh? says:

    Possibly, if we knew what you meant.

  23. 23
    Bertie Wooster says:

    Why all the interest in a young Jack Black.

    Surely the interesting questions should be fired at “impeccable of the yard “Yates.

    Me first . ” Mr Yates How did you manage to fuck up so royally the lordships for cash enquiry you were tasked with. Your press at the time said you were exemplary. Maybe that was wrong. Can you have another look at it please. ”

    He would have thought it, an incompetent rozzer.

  24. 24
    Gotcha says:

    Hi Johann.

  25. 25
    Kevan Maguire says:

    Ed, Charlie, Damian. Have got tickets for Hurlingham Polo. You up for a bit of off the record briefing?

  26. 26
    tub_thumper says:

    plenty of hacking in the CAR. usually arms legs knobs and heads

    British press take note!!

  27. 27
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I heard he is of interviewing OBL about his fight and struggles.

  28. 28
    Johann Hari says:

    Gissa job go on gissa job I worked with them all enn I, worked wiv the best, me an Obama we wuz like that, also Mandela he was one of my muckers and that artist bloke what’s just snuffed it, Lucian somebody, I knew them all. Interviews, opinion pieces, hardest job in the world ennit, go on yer feckin rich bastard gissa job!

  29. 29
    Vimeiro says:


    Would you say the plagisim is as wide spread as phone-hacking in the media?

  30. 30
    Flash GATSO says:

    Is that a tie or a noose around his neck? Hard to tell…

  31. 31
    Alex says:

    Maybe the managers hate him as much as the staff do.

    Bullying = what a joke. What’s worse, a few jokers in the office making this sign, or slandering journalists who have disagreed with you by editing their pages on Wikipedia?

    Hari can dish it out, so it’s pathetic that you and your ilk scream bullying when someone has a laugh at HIS expense.

  32. 32
    Loungelizard says:

    Working alongside Upchucka on the twilight shift at KFC.

  33. 33
    fun boy 4 says:

    fuck off

    its because he hid behind the “i’m a shy fat gay lad” persona that he got away with it for so long

    positive discrimination IS discrimination

  34. 34
    Sophie says:

    You would need to have a heart of stone not to laugh like a drain.

  35. 35
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    lol, dear.

  36. 36
    bergen says:

    I disagree.Hari dished it out to people in the column of a national paper not just in the confines of an office. I don’t remember that he pulled his punches .

  37. 37
    Orientalist says:

    Well, that’s Hari-Kari for you.

  38. 38
    Yasmin Allah-Baba-Brown says:

    If Johann Hari and David Rose are actually the same person, which is the real one?

    I mean, we assume Hari invented Rose to do his dirty work.

    But maybe Rose is the real one and Hari is his invention. Makes you think.

    I think this David Rose character has some questions to answer.

  39. 39
    God says:

    To be a lefty you have to be mentally unwell first. Admittedly it’s a design fault in my operating system – but in truth, it has given me so much fun over the years that I never had the heart to code a patch.

    My advice is this: should you come across a hopelessly middle class self-hater spouting utter bollocks then simply reboot him or her. You can do this by twisting their left ear firmly anti-clockwise by 90 degrees. Because they still run on Windows 3 (I know, sorry!), it may take up to eleven minutes for their software to spool up. Please feel free to execute the reboot when they are in a vulnerable position – for instance in the act of crossing a busy road or when within easy reach of a sexually frustrated alpha male chimpanzee in the primate enclosure at your local zoo.

    However, please do not attempt this with Jonathan May-Bowles or anyone from UK Uncu*t. i promised them all to Dev downstairs.

  40. 40

    Oh for Pete’s sake, he’s fleeing the interview! He’s fleeing the interview!

  41. 41
    Hang 'em High says:

    Dunno, – piano wire, me.

  42. 42
    Flash GATSO says:

    His mobile phone shows he is at 4, The High Street, Fakenham….

    Now why would he be in Fakenham?

  43. 43
    The Mirror's PI says:

    Further to that.

    I can confirm that his bank records show that he withdrew £200 from Tescos in Norwich on the 10th and spent £55.63p on his debit card at Shell Services Great Yarmouth also on the 10th. He collected Antibiotics from the STD Clinic at Lowestoft on the 11th before reporting in at the Lowestoft police station, which according to DVLA was because his car had no tax and insurance. His mobile phone records show that he is phoning Polly Toynbee at least 5 times a day and he is at present logged onto a mobile cell at Caster on sea. He has though switched his voicemail off and he is using his recently setup hotmail account to keep in contact by email.

  44. 44
    Steve Miliband says:

    Good to see hackgate is leading the BBC News again. What was that Greek bailout malarky again?

  45. 45
    Tax Payer says:

    Re Watson referring J Murdoch to the police.

    Does he not realise that James’ evidence is covered by parliamentary privelage?

    Will future witnesses be reluctant to give evidence to select committees for fear of incriminating themselves?

    Why did this committee produce its’ report before thoroughly checking their evidence for possible inconsistencies like this?

  46. 46
    bergen says:

    It is very hard to blame colleagues sweating over sources and evidence before filing their copy for resenting a star columnist paid far more than them who simply made up or plagarised his stories.

  47. 47
    Selohesra says:

    Alternatively a re-boot up the arse is also satisfying

  48. 48
    Maximus says:

    Reviled also

  49. 49
    The Mirror says:

    His messages say yes

  50. 50
    Selohesra says:

    How could they possibly produce a considered report that quickly unless they had already nade up their minds before the hearings?

  51. 51
    Yates says:

    He’s picking up his voicemails, so there is still hope.

  52. 52
    The BBC says:

    Bad journalistic practice is only found in the Right-Wing media.

    PS: You should all be sent to the gulag. Fuck you.

  53. 53
    Frankie Howerd says:

    Seems like a nice boy…

  54. 54
    Copy & Paste says:

    They all do it but unlike Harri they credit their source.

  55. 55
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Ha ha! The Independent just went up in my estimation! They obviously have the same contempt for him as the rest of us.

  56. 56
    A. Mystic Esq. says:

    I had always thought that we could find God within ourselves (if we tried hard to live a worthwhile life and do good for others).

    But now I realise that he is a separate entity who lives in a world of make believe and has not learned to recognise that Microsoft is the work of Satan and that Bill Gates is, in fact, the Anti-Christ.

    Mind you, I do give daily thanks for his spell chequer.

  57. 57
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Will he be found with a dildo up his bum?

  58. 58
    Johann Hari says:

    “What’s your point Gotcha?” Hari asked, sighing heavily.

  59. 59
    Piers Morgan's Hubrsi Reaches Tipping Point says:

    It makes a change not to have the BBC not talking the markets down.

  60. 60
    Tax Payer says:

    Some of the staff clearly do; the management is a different story.

  61. 61
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    The most grim aspect of this debacle is that the mysterious David Rose was traced to an onlogne peedoh incest porn story called “How my little brother became a whore” which has since been deleted. Gruesome. Very gruesome.

  62. 62
    Johann Hari says:

    “It’s not like I hacked a phone is it, I just used Google” sighed Hari, loquaciously.

  63. 63
    London M*slim says:

    so not all bad.

  64. 64

    No way. David Rose is an earth scientist, no-one with a Cambridge science degree would produce not only unreferenced but unattributed waffle like this joker Hari.

  65. 65
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Because it had already mde up it’s mind. The report was produced by labour days before the hearing.

  66. 66

    I’m laughing my arse off at Pravda/BBC trailing the uneducated underclass story (link below)

    Surely the correlation points to the very clear conclusion you must be a thick tw4t to support Labour!

  67. 67
    Kevin T says:

    Forget his plagiarism, the bloke’s been caught using invented facts and made up interviews on at least 2 pieces.



    Plagiarism you can maybe apologise for and recover from. Outright lying means bye bye Johann.

  68. 68
    Piers Morgan's Hubris Reaches Tipping Point says:

  69. 69
    Kevin T says:

    Note the amount of pro-Johann sock-puppets popping up on the latest Damian Thompson article’s comment thread.


  70. 70
    Jonah Hari says:

    Thanks for that breath of fresh but perfumed air. I’m OK (now). I’m writing again and that feels like a kind of victory.

  71. 71
    b34st says:

    He is doing what all journalist dream oif
    writing a novel, its called

    Harri Botter and the philosophers stove

    Its a pot boiler (geddit) but an entirely orginal idea

  72. 72
    Loungelizard says:

    I’ve got won two, they werk relly well.

  73. 73
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Do Harriet Harman and Tessa Jowell actually have minds of their own or do they just rely on their labour implants.
    Oh that’s different, oh we never said that, we did sort out the phone hacking, it’s all Cameron’s fault, Coulson, Coulson, Coulson, I support Ed Miliband now he’s the leader, I’ll blindly say whatever Ed want’s me to say and on and on and on and on and on……….

  74. 74
    I don't need no doctor says:

    What’s Tom Watson MP honest opinion of Blair and Brown, and events that led up to us going into Iraq.
    Come on Tom, now that you are on your quietly spoken honesty crusade, perhaps you could let us have the answer.

  75. 75
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Has a little bit of wee come out, dear Sophie…?

  76. 76
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today I will be drawing knobs & colouring them in.
    That concludes my statement to the House.

  77. 77
    I don't need no doctor says:

    What about Prince Harry and his real father for another novel?

  78. 78
    provincial ingenue says:

    is that the floorshow at G.A.Y. these days?

  79. 79
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Hope Peter Mandleson and Chris Bryants knobs aren’t included Gordon, you rascal.

  80. 80
    Germany Calling says:

    Guido Hari is the incarnation an Orwellian 1984 Character

    Hari – “I only ever substituted clearer expressions of the same sentiment”

  81. 81
  82. 82
    Tony Bliar says:

    I do hope he won’t do a Dr Kelly and thoughtfully tie his hands behind his back before slitting his wrists with a paper clip

  83. 83
    Mornington Crescent says:

    An MP referring someone to the Police! Well, well, we really have heard it all now.

    Strangely, he doesn’t want to refer Blair, Campbell et al to the Police for the Iraq War.

    Nor any of his colleagues in either House for the systematic abuse and outright theft of huge sums of public funds over many years.

    Funny that. Lard-arsed lout.

  84. 84
    Johann Hari says:

    This campaign of persecution against me is almost as bad as my time during the Normandy landings. I remember that morning so clearly, a cold and biting chill as we approached, the atmosphere thick with dread and anticipation.

    As soon as we landed, the carnage began. A storm of fury and gunfire. Like a Hieronymous Bosch painting, the landscape became a perversely surreal mise en scène. All I could see was torn bodies, agony and blood. My commander, Tom Hanks, was braver than us all. Afterwards, we set out on a mission to locate a soldier named Ryan. I’ll never forget that day.

  85. 85
    Tax Payer says:

    Is that what he said?

    It’s truly bizarre, and a little sinister…..

  86. 86
    Eh? says:

    I think you will find somebody else deleted it at any earlier point, but Hari then claimed he deleted it.

  87. 87

    I asked Gordon Brown how he was dealing with semi-retirement
    “Today I will be drawing,” he replied.
    Yes, I thought. I could see the great statesman, drawing up his plans and reordering the existential, panoply of the European union’s finance committees.

    ” Drawing knobs & colouring them in,” and he laughed, that famous Gordon, full throated, deep and booming jolly laugh, that we all know so well. He was joking, obviously.
    “That concludes my statement to the House,” he said. And he shook my hand and showed me personally to the door.

    Johann Hari

  88. 88
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    The funniest revelation about Hari is that he pretended to have taken Ecstasy regularly when he was at uni. Private Eye exposed him as a fraud in 2003 when they found out he’d never taken a single E in his life! Before he wrote his article, he actually phoned one of his friends to ask what it feels like to take an E. :-D

  89. 89
    The LAW says:

    Committees and the operation of parliamentary privilege

    Witnesses to select committees enjoy absolute privilege in respect of the evidence they give, whether written or oral, provided that it is formally accepted as such by the Committee. Absolute privilege protects freedom of speech in parliamentary proceedings; it is enshrined in statutory form in Article 9 of the Bill of Rights 1689, which prohibits proceedings in Parliament from being called in question in any court. In practical terms this means that select committee witnesses are immune from civil or criminal proceedings founded upon that evidence; nor can their evidence be relied upon in civil or criminal proceedings against any other person.


    It’s a shame the BBC does not challenge Watson with his ignorance of the rules

  90. 90

    Was that on Obama beach?

  91. 91
    Johann Hari says:

    It was indeed. I never saw such brutality again till the gooks of the NVA killed thirty of my buddies in Nam.

  92. 92
    fabians are Evil says:

    Hang him and hang him high

  93. 93
    Anon says:

    I keep putting on Friday’s Review Show on BBC 2 in the hope that he appears there, but he never does anymore.

  94. 94
    Johann Hari's Agent says:

    Johann Hari is currently doing a publicity tour for his new novel, The Catcher in the Rye, the winner of the 2012 Pulitzer Prize for Fiction.

  95. 95
    Jacky Treehorn says:

    Oh shaddup!

  96. 96
    I fucked Sally bercow in the ass, hard. says:

    If he tops himself that will save everybody else a lot of bother and save them face, too. AND the left can claim him as a martyr and blame his untimely demise on the right.

    Everybody wins.

    Do it Johann. You know it makes perfect political sense.

  97. 97
    EdButLookBalls says:

    Which Police is that, the Met or the other bent one!?

  98. 98
    b34st says:

    Surely his greatest work of fiction is his CV?

  99. 99
    Loungelizard says:

    Fiona Millar to the Commons….Coffee House. The stench of corruption creeps like dry rot through the tawdry ranks of the left.

  100. 100
    b34st says:

    James and the giant slag?

  101. 101
    Jacky Treehorn says:

    He looks like a fat Harry Potter.

  102. 102
    Kevin T says:

    I remember your piece on Vietnam.

    “I met Colonel Kurtz in a small hut in the remote village. I don’t know what I expected but not this large, bald man sitting in the dark surrounded by natives who seemed to worship him.

    “He shook his head sadly and said quietly, “The horror, the horror”

  103. 103
    Herman Achille Van Rompuy says:

    There’s a job for him here in Bruxelles. Send over his CV please and i’m sure I can get him a place in the propogand…. Communications dept.

  104. 104
    Emm Dee M.A. says:

    Had he never heard of Blondie?

  105. 105
    I'm not a cynic but..... says:

    Makes him a blushing McBride to be ?

  106. 106
    I'm not a cynic but..... says:

    Talk it down -buy — Talk it up sell .

  107. 107
    God says:

    Honestly, I do apologise for the prevalence of Windows in my earthly doings and concede the many problems it created. You’ll be pleased to know that I switched to Divine Pussy OS/X via simultaneous roll-out in 2010AD.

    Please note that Divine Pussy does not support socialism so you can expect this glitch to die out in humankind, quite literally, by around 2090. I know that’s a long time to wait – and you may as well know now that it *does* support Clegg Processing (also known as asynchronous LibDem). Nothing I could do about that; Jobs insisted and hey, he’s My Son so how could I refuse? However Clegg Processing is of limited use, takes up little memory and won’t impede normal operations – though is prone to sulks and long periods of silence.


  108. 108
    Anonymous says:

    Can I take it that you’re not a follower of the Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming business, then.

  109. 109
    Lobster Throttler says:

    He s just been seen on clapham common holding hands with Chris Bryant, they make a lovely couple (of twats)

  110. 110
    joescotus says:

    any one employs this fudd will be derided for ever …any volunteers?

  111. 111
    Dirty Johann. says:

    Saigon, shit. I’m still only in Saigon. Every time I think I’m going to wake up back in the jungle. When I was home after my first tour, it was worse. I’d wake up and there’d be nothing… I hardly said a word to my wife until I said yes to a divorce.

    Hang on a sec, that last bit can’t be right. Aren’t I a bummer?

  112. 112
    Johan Hari says:

    There there Judah ben-Hur as Monty Burns said to me as I struggled in the desert heat.

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