Maude Decentralises the COI
Guido has never understood why since the Second World War governments, all allegedly committed to decentralisation, maintained the waste of money which is, or rather was, the Central Office of Information. The COI was formed in 1946 out of the Orwellian Ministry of Information and was for many years the biggest spending advertiser in Britain, splurging millions on nanny state public information messsages. Notoriously COI spending invariably went up most in pre-election years. The whole ethos of the COI was “Big Government” knows best.
In what signals an important cultural change “Mad” Frankie Maude hasn’t reformed or streamlined the COI, he has closed it. That is the kind of quangocidal decentralisation we need to see more of from the government…
And no-one will notice.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
COI closed; functions distriubted amongst other departments; expertise lost; service deteriorates; costs increase by 200%.
On the plus side, Maude gets a favourable headline.
What service? Putting out patronising adverts?
What about the other couple of hundred quangos they promised to get rid of?? Is this to help fund the Libyan war?
Obama and Cameron should be ashamed of putting political self-interest before the lives of their brave soldiers. Look at the tragic loss of life in Afghanistan, and it now begs the question: for what?
Obama now places his election prospects above the cause and wants to withdraw, his side kick Cameron will do as he is told and follow behind. What did these brave men die for?? Cameron only said this week: “You do the fighting , I’ll do the talking.” Gutless pompous turd. I will not vote Tory while he is in office.
What expertise? Poor quality organisation if ever there was one.
The COI did things like centralise the buying of media time – which was a reccomendation of Sir Phillip Green, as I recall, and Lord Sugar – to save money. There were all sorts of oddities about the situation and moeny to be saved. But giving the responsibility of tasks like media buying to various departments who’ve never done it before: they’re going to get shafted. Which, alas, means that we will.
Why am I not surprised.
@48crash: “Various departments”, my ass. Quit making stuff up.
This is about less quangocrats carving up money taken from taxpayers.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13890059
“But ministers have had a change of heart after a review by Matt Tee, former permanent secretary for government communications, which recommended replacing it with a new communications centre.
Government sources say scrapping the COI will remove an unnecessary layer of management – with individual departments able to deal directly with the advertising agencies working for them.
And there will still be a “roster” of approved advertising agencies, appointed by a new procurement board based in the Cabinet Office, to ensure the government can get the best deal for taxpayers when it buys marketing services.”
They could save more by doing less “advertising”…
Well, I’m not making it up. Each Department will now be responsible for buiying media time, advertising space, all that junk that COI did. And since they’ve just given a whole bunch of them the push, this could be entertaining.
At present, it all seems to be controlled form No 10′s office (who’ve given themselves some benefit of clergy from all the media restrictions and are happily spending all the money that’s supposed to be being saved. In the future, who knows?
Don’t get me wrong: COI was an easy target, it always seemed like tits on a bull (or more accurately tits on a cow pat, but no matter) and was bound to get hit. But, to quote P J O’Rourke, it’s one thing to burn the shithouse down and quite another to instal plumbing.
There’s always too much government until we want something. The there’s never enough. At the moment, we don’t want anything since there are no policies to implement. When they actually have one, it’s going to be entertaining.
They will when the tories cannot use millions and millions of pounds of tax-payers money for thinly-veiled party-political broadcasts disguised as public information films just before a general election, as labour did before EVERY election.
This is tories FINALLY behaving like tories. About FUCKING TIME! It might only be a small thing, but it is welcomed and to be actively encouraged.
But this is Cameron’s tories…..So….. What’s the catch?
When is the Equalities Commission going ??
Then there is the Rural Payments Agency, with over four thousand staff and about the same number of brain cells whose main aim in life seems to be to find new ways to goof up.
In that case labour will probably ask them to give deborrah mattinsion a nice big contract, so she can spend her time bigging up ed, or whichever nonentity labour are trying to convince the the public is a normal human at the time.
Along with everyone with the word “diversity” in either their job title or department.
When do we get out of the EU?
Another twatty socialist experiment ending in tears and ruined lives. FFS, do these fuckers never learn?
We’re going to give the double the money this saves to the poor starving Indian astronauts
hopefully there won’t be one.
however, given that maude – along with lansley – is firmly in the “thick as pigshit” category of dave’s ministers, let’s hope that a u turn on this isn’t round the corner
In another life I used to have the COI as a client – and what a bunch of self righteous yet woefully average tossers they were that worked there. They had all the budgets and not an ounce of common sense among them. Yet demanded that suppliers become fawning courtiers in their presence. Just because they had a load of public cash to spend did not mean they actually knew what they were doing – even though they thought so.
I am overjoyed to know that these terminally underwhelming people will have to walk the streets trying to get gainful employment (in many cases going cap in hand to their agency suppliers) and have the doors slammed in their face, being told to F-off because they are useless.
Oh how the mighty fall!!!!
On a related note WHY is there only the one Monoplies Commission?
Oh and Guido ..I see your mate Al Bowely…Al Jolson…er Al Bert-hall…er Al Wawei is out. You sir are mightily effective. Now if you could free the ‘Renault Five’ I’d be eternally grateful.
Not a fan of the COI then TB?
One down, several hundred to go…
Why am I not surprised by what this post says?
Agree
Watch the details–like the bonfire of the Quangos it will turn out to be a con
HMG! Do you have no fresh ideas for telling people what to do? Save money, get rid of the COI and recycle the top-tips from Viz.
Whoo Hooooooooooooooooo
More more more
What’s “mad” about that?
Seems like plain old common sense to me.
About time. All that information was confusing me into thinking the goevrnment cares less about me.
As long as you pay oodles of tax, they love you.
Just try being retired!
O/T Sorry Guido or knowledgable reader.
Who has got more houses Tony Blair or Micheal Meacher?
On topic
” The COI was formed in 1946 out of the Orwellian Ministry of Information and was for many years the biggest spending advertiser in Britain”
Are you sure you havent got this and the BBC mixed up?
Or were they both doing the same job?
David Laws.
Beg your pardon, Billy, I’m getting my complete and utter tossers mixed up.
Laws is simply a multi-millionaire.
I meant Hughne, who did have 9 houses, but since he shacked up with a bull-dyke this number has decreased to a paltry 7.
I just wanted to know between Tony and Micheal.
michael will have more. he’s more left wing.
I prefer quality over quantity. Today I shall buy a one million pound house, and then bulldoze it to make my garden bigger.
Well I’ve got about twenty on the estate but they’re all occupied by tenants.
I don’t get your “mad” bit.
Mad Frankie Fraser was infamous for being a brutal gangster, handy at smashing and slashing.
I think it is a play on words, along the ‘butcher the Quangos’ line.
…or maybe Guido just thinks he’s lacking in the sanity department.
In future everyone will have a thought control microchip installed at birth.
Existing technology is already very close.
The COI was useful for its more diverse publications – I used to receive defence briefings sent by them to me at school!
However, in the age of the internet, RSS feeds and youtube, it’s about time that the government information distributor caught up.
If the COI is dust, who’s going to commission those slightly staid public information films?
I will. May I pitch the following here:
- Fat people get moving
- Thick people get learning
- Lazy people get working
etc…
And whilst i’m at it my other marketing genius idea is to put a sign up at Calais etc telling illegals when they get here to keep travelling north to Utopia ‘Scotland’ – free prescriptions, education and elderly care.
HS2 would be a great help in this most honourable of endeavours, provided we extend it all the way to the border with no stops en-route of course.
…and windowless carriages with no toilets.
That would be fine, except we’re footing the bill for that as well.
we’ll wait till they get independence then – not sure if they’ve factored in a few million more people to their plans !
the last quango in paris is Nanny, and i claim my five pounds
-political people get dead
Ones like this one about learning to swim?:
“This is me, thinking as usual about Dave. Dave is super, Dave can do anything, ohh, he’s great, he really is.”
Perhaps he’s still bitter.
What on Earth will become of Mr Cholmondley-Warner?
Public Information Film
He’s at the same place as “Women – know your limits!”
Keep Calm and Carry On
Keep Salm and Carry On
That was a public information service.
Careless bankers cost billions.
Look Right, look left, then decide right is much, much better, and never look left again.
Clunk, Clunk. That was Gordon’s fist.
Rig for Victory {old Labour election poster}
We still have the BBC to promote our views
And the next lucky Quango for the chop wll be …… ????
Just musing over my own question … how about the “Environment Agency”? Sice this almight Quano took over the responsibility for rivers and water in general from local authorities (I think that is what they did) rivers around here have been totally neglected with consequent flooding a regular thing. Power to the people who are interested – the locals.
Brussels?
Errrr why the word “decentralises”?
It could not be that the “centre” is not going to pay for adverts – but that individual departments are?
If so the real saving to the taxpayer may well be zero.
great news! only this quango obsessed Country would need a whole new department to offer help to the other departments to get them to do their jobs properly.
This is money that should have been saved;-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2006874/Thoroughly-dishonest-devious-Qatari-PhD-student-deported-pocketing-250-000-benefits–pretending-asylum-seeker.html
The article reads:-
Jane Farleigh, regional director of the UK Border Agency in Wales, said: ‘We will not accept foreign nationals like Al-Sulaiti breaking our laws.
Well, Jane, you and your department let him break the law and he falsely claimed taxpayers money for the best part of five years!
It’s about time your whole department was placed under a thorough investigation, and your leadership should also be brought into question.
It’s just another fatuous soundbite composed by some PR wonk in UKBA. I enjoy reading these ‘responses’ at the end of critical items and always give points out of a hundred based on their stupidity.
Jane Farleigh – you have scored 149 points!
“to ensure this never happens again” is a favourite.
Never happens again = about this time next year
Another good one is “There are lessons to be learnt….”
Same sh*t, different day.
‘This program is being rolled out across the nation’ is always a good one when playing bullshit bingo.
How come when I lost my job, i got £65pw….nothing else, no council tax benefit, no help with my mortgage, no help to get another job…fuck all.
Is it coz I iz white?
Where are we going to get our
new crop of political film directors from
if they can’t get a leg up in the COI ?
“The truth is the greatest enemy of the State.”
Russia?
You can say what you want in Siberia
I want to be head of the COI.
Many want your head on a pole on Westminster Bridge
Off you go then
No budget
no staff
no purpose
Sounds ideal for you
Talking of money being wasted (p***ed down the drain) how many people know that Baroso (EU Uberfuhrer) is forcing through a measure to suspend INDEFINATELY all immigration controls into the EU ……………………so…………..they can all come straight here.
For the last time Dave, do something, don’t you have any idea at all of the strength of feeling in the country on this issue? I see regular proposals now of “taking to the streets as the government are doing NOTHING.”
we’re full, we’re fed up and we’re skint. none of us got any olympic tickets and its going to rain.
Dave do something cheery for the love of God !!!!!!!!!!!
But we did beat the aussies in Ashes
Ah. Well that’s OK then.
after over 20 odd years of the aussies beating us we must cherish this time we are beating them so easily
Sorry, Billy. Couldn’t resist it.
It’s only a bloody game Billy!
Its not a game, Its Cricket
Here in Wales, that would constitute a good day.
last quango – it has been raining here for the last week or more. Had the central heating on for the last three days. And you are glum! Midsummer eh?
Any further updates on phone hacking, please Guido,darling ?
Yes. Set up a four digit password for your voicemail.
Yes, the police are going to charge all the celebrities concerned with wasting police time because they were too f.ucking stupid to change the default factory temporary password.
No saving – they will all be given non jobs in other non departments, probably needing retraining, relocating, and time off for the stress involved, enhanced pensions and free travel for the rest of their lives
As a Quango recipient, I feel I have been effected by your comments.
Is there some sort of counseling service I could contact.
I’m John Quango and I’ve always said to survive cuts you gotta become cuts.
You are exactly right. This is a sham for the easily fooled.
AS YOU ARE THE CLEVERIST CAN YOU PLEASE TELL ME
)How to wipe my arse
2) Can I put an apriot in my chilli
3) Is iyt ok to date ugly women?
All in line with Dave and the LibDem’s policy of supporting the BOI (Brussels Office of Information)
Please just close down the quangos that Dame Suzy Leather helps to run. Or have they been closed, I dont seem to have seen a reference to her in the media lately. Keeping her head down ?
it’s what I do best – you suck, I’ll blow
Maude threatened her with a ‘notice period’ which is presumably code for the sack. He didn’t follow through, however, even though this ridiculous ‘Quango Queen’, so beloved of NuLiebour and quite happy to do their bidding at every opportunity, has made an outrageously good living off the taxpayer:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1351554/Axe-hovers-Quango-Queen-Dame-Suzi-Leather-accused-bias-Charity-Commission.html
She epitomises everything that is wrong with these ludicrous appointments. Nothing will change however as it is the way that the political class in this country operates as a mutual back-scratching society. When Dave & Co lose the next election these jobs will be much sought after, so they are hardly going to close them all down now, are they??
How the Swedish COI promotes diversity
Jaevlig drittsekk,
Haista vittu Scandi hooligani
So, do you reckon the Swede’s will win the Eurovision Song contest with that one?
Who else is really, really looking forward to reading the whining editorials from the Guardian about this?
Not to mention their whinging about Geert Wilders. What a great day this is turning out to be, if you’re not a leftie c&%$.
The left hate the idea of freedom of speech. People are allowed no diversity of opinion in leftist hell-holes.
I see that the Guardian are helping Ed with his blank sheet of paper. You are allowed to add your ideas to 19 different policy blank sheets. It is quite amusing to read some of the comments at random.
Aah those wonderful COI films. “The Death Grant” was a favourite of mine.
Anything without Hugh Grant in it Gets my vote.
The BBC will shortly be off air as they all head off for the hedonistic delights offered at Glastonbury, at the taxpayers expense.
….and not a bar of soap between them.
except in the showers
All those that are not at Wimbledon that is…
They don’t count. They’re just sportsjocks. The intelligensia will be at Glasto, swapping ideologies and spliffs
Spliffs !!!! What do you think I am some kind of Junkie from schemes !!!!
No I am a sophisticate so only the finest Columbian Cocaine for me my good man, paid for by the taxpayer of course.
Does anyone else find it strange that the taxpayer has had to stump up £2.2m to save the Arabic broadcasts on the World Service? Since the BBCC is now supposed to be funding the WS would it really have been so difficult to find this sum from the nearly £4bn sum we give them every year? It’s less than the cost of televising just one rather silly and boring GP race.
Come along Hague, explain your self.
To save this amount of money would probably mean that someone high up would have to go without a jolly or two.
That would never do.
When placing your vote please ensure you tick the box next Labour
I would rather garrotte myself with a rusty blunt spoon
Caustic soda and a wire brush…!
I think I speak for most people here when I say the Labour troll Moussa Koussa is a tedious gobshite who’s clearly in agony over Labour being out of power.
We will advise on evaluation methodologies and help to identify and measure what matters, defining the Key Performance Indicators (KPIs) for any activity.
The Evaluation team provide data collation, analytics and reporting services – including dashboard creation, target setting, benchmarking, forecasting and scenario planning as well as evaluation techniques and interpretation including COI Artemis response/conversion analysis and econometrics.
The guiding principles to consider when undertaking [public engagement] projects, and the range of tools and approaches which could be used at each stage of the policy cycle.
The engagement briefing template is designed to help you set out your engagement needs to ensure your plans are clear and deliverable.
We are, however, so far up our own backsides that you will need to communicate with us by means of a proctoscope.
proctoscope – that’s two tin cans and a bit of string right?
Wonder where the tin cans go?
I was understanding you all the way up until whatever came after “we will advise..”
Good lunch then Bill?
When was it shut down?
Only last night Nanny was telling pensioners not to drink more than half a pint of beer equivalent a day.
Not true that was it?
Some minor medical body writes a report, and the newspapers have a ball.
…unless you happen to be in the Commons Bar, that is.
Ahem, the subsidised Commons Bar(s) if you please.
I stand corrected. :O)
Have the bar staff in the House of Lords been informed of this medical breakthrough, Sorry Sir I’m afraid I cant serve you, we know that you qualify for a free bus pass and that would be your second pint (of Gin).
If the Government was on the ball, they would be ENCOURAGING older people to drink and smoke MORE, thereby alleviating the Pensions Crisis.
Also free trips to Switzerland for retired public servants.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2007144/Thug-Jason-Owen-insists-Baby-Ps-death.html
JUstice eh?
We should be asking why he’s been let out so early, not publicising his sob story about why he thinks he should be given a new identity.
I bet he’ll get it, and a house, car, job, and anything else he can squeeze out of us playing the human rights card.
Dont you just love our Legal system and the Lawyers who comprise it ! Give us more lawyers thats what I say,
Lets not forget the ubber lawyers who become Politicians and are forever making new laws which make us safer in our beds Hooray for them
That’s about 75% of the money grubbing b******s.
Anyone else think that Dennis Skinner is a nasty, illiterate, pig-ignorant b”stard?. [sorry, I needed that outburst]!
Of course he is , he is a socailist politicon (The worst kind).
He’s not that daft. He’s managed to milk the taxpayer very successfully for about thirty years.
….whilst doing very little to earn any of it.
Sorry, that’s a given when you are an MP isn’t it?
A pre-requisite.
Kerrrr-Ching!
Oh what a scrounger he is. Just like John Mann, another leach on the taxpayer. They shout their mouths off, typical socialist hypocrites, look after number one while feigning sincerety and support for the working class.
Why doesn’t Skinner jack it in and give a younger person a chance. You know why, after so many years with his snout in the trough, he couldn’t bare to give it up. He won’t be on a basic state pension either, eh comrade.
Asfor Mann, the Jack Dee of Westminster, scounging miserbale twat. Like to see hime try and get a proper job.
He’ll be off to the Other Place next to sit alongside Lord Prescott.
BTW did you notice Lady Bulimias eye-brows last night. Extra thick permanent marker.
He looks smelly to me….that grubby grey suit he always wears is fucking RANK.
It’s not a suit, just the jacket he used to wear when he was an NCB clerk. It’s so hard from decades of undearm sweat that he can’t take it off any more, that’s why he always wears it. It’s not like he can’t afford another jacket, the Huntz a fucking millionaire.
Given that every Government Department or Agency of any consequence (and quite a few of not much consequence) has it’s own Press Office, what exactly do we need a COI for anyway?
The bonfire of the Quangos isn’t big enough yet. There is a lot more scope for ritual incineration.
Levi Bellfield would be hanging by his neck by the morning if you voted for me !
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-13875507
He’s a fat fucking bastard, you’d need a decent rope. Also, you’d need to get the drop right or you’d take his stupid piggy head clean off.
i will spend the evening pumping into my trumpet
Oh God, not again….
Saw that lard bar Emily Thornberry on BBC Parliament. I bet even Prescott doesn’t get a look in at the trough when she is around.
O/t dont forget Englands women team are taking on New Zealand in a 20/20 match.
Totty watch tag
Good call if you like butch lezzers.
I hope the COI are made to announce their own demise before switching off the lights
The only Quango Parliament should consult is voters!
Don’t hold your breath, Billy.
Ed Balls is like a butt crack boil
Can we scrap the licence fee and ALL foreign aid while we’re at it.
Stop the public sector job ads in The Guardian!
Labour’s clever scheme to let Guardian make lots of money on public sector job ads in return for favourable coverage in the paper and the numerous instances Guardian hacks comment on BBC has got to be stopped.
It doesn’t matter what the book says, the public know that Ed Miliband is totally useless. It’s a pity it will take the labour party so long to get rid of him. It’s not being loyal it’s being stupid.
Mind you they stood by Brown and lost over 100 seats. I wonder how many seats Ed Miliband will lose the party. All of them I hope.
WELL DONE Mad Frankie.. At last someone with some NUTS !
We need more like you !!! Frankie for PM
Brilliant! They should close more government departments.
Mad Frankie Maude son of COI ?
Shouldn’t that be KOI ?
Oh and that name is subject to copyright
We can settle out of court if you like !
can i have a “T” shirt ?
Won’t somebody please think of The Jobsworths?
I have never particularly liked Francis Maude as he struck me as an arrogant chap but well done. Let’s hope the jobs are not redistributed. I loved the comment about the COI being as useful as Top Tips in Viz.
Next on the list should be Ed Richards at the media quango about as useful as Cherie Blair.
Reginald Molehusband’s parking adventures were always a good watch on a Saturday morning, before Swap Shop ruined everything.