In homage to Awkward Ed Miliband Moments, the Mail joined in the fun with nine pictures taken during his speech last week. Guido thought he’d beat them to it with today’s particularly awkward facial expressions:

Many of them came during long, rambling and incomprehensible questions from the audience about ostrich eggs and his brother’s local fish and chip shop. The relaunch begins…

Given that Ed Miliband was educated by Oxford and Harvard’s finest, before spending years as a SpAd and then a minister at the heart of government, you would have thought that this was a given:

Life is, however, like a box of chocolates…

Via Liar Politicians

Ed begins to understand the task ahead of him:

“Government is not like delivering pizza…”

The Coin Street Community Builders rejuvenated the area along the South Bank after a campaign and purchase of the land by local residents. It’s no surprise that Cameron launched the Big Society from there in 2010, it’s a Steve Hilton wet dream. It’s no coincidence then that Ed is using the very same community centre for his relaunch. 

Miliband’s speech today was straight out of the Dave playbook and could easily have  come from either man in opposition. Rewarding hard work, clamping down on those that do not. Remembering the forgotten heroes and protecting those in need et cetra.  The problem for Ed is he’s not going to oust a PM by imitating everything he does…

Whilst the austerity squeeze is being put on at home, Guido thought it a little odd that the UK taxpayer was expected to borrow hundreds of milllions to send to India whilst they boost the Indian space program and equip their aircraft carriers, which we can’t afford to do. Fiscal insanity.

Last Thursday Guido and a very grateful Indian spaceman went to an aid conference to lobby Mitchell on this very subject. Left-wing agitators were outraged that we even raised the issue, trying to imply it was racist to question foreign aid to a growing economic superpower. In what must be the cheapest and shortest successful single-issue lobbying campaign in history, International Development Secretary Andrew Mitchell has announced that aid to India will be stopped. A good day for the British taxpayer, a bad day for the Indian Space Programme..

UPDATE: Guido tried to interview the Indian Spaceman just now, but he was too emotional, holding his head in his hands, weeping. He was just too choked up to talk…

Guido doesn’t normally agree with very much that Yasmin Alibhai-Brown has to say, but he does find himself asking the same question today. How does dressing up as sluts and marching through London help protect women? 

Looked like a fun day out though…

Jane Brooke had worked for the Land Registry for over three decades before she was sacked for gross-misconduct. Back in 2008, while she was spending 85% of her time as a union pilgrim - being paid to do union work by the taxpayer, Jane began legal proceeding against the Weymouth Land Registry claiming she had repetitive strain injury and could not use a computer. Little did she know that they began to secretly record her to see if she was telling the truth. She was caught working out, swimming and running. When she was sacked she claimed “union victimisation” and took it to a tribunal…

However the judiciary has seen sense for once and branded this pilgrim “inconstant and dishonest” and upheld the fact that “serious misconduct [justified] summary dismissal.” Judge Coles said it ”was not cricket”. Brooke says she will continue to work for the PCS. Not on our shilling anymore though…