May 4th, 2011

Cameron’s PMQs Catchphrases

A dull Council Questions there, but another interesting line from the PM. Last week it was a nod to Michael Winner and “calm down dear” and this week Cameron went for Benny Hill’s favourite ‘fairy dairy land’.

Is there some sort of catchphrase-dropping bet going on?


  1. 1
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    Good to have decent jokes at last.

    thanks for live chat Guido


    • 7
      Chris Patten says:

      I never had Dave down as an ITV viewer.


      • 28
        Lard Presclott of Bulimia, Bog Seats, Beams,Bellies,Banjos,Punches, Croquet, Pies, Jags 'n' Shags says:

        I’d be Two Ton Ted from Teddington.


      • 50
        Anonymous says:

        Viewer eh?

        “Would you like it pasteurised?,
        ‘Cos pasteurised is best,
        She said “Ernie I’ll be ‘appy if it comes up to me chest!”

        worra soite for sore oiyes!


    • 11
      Fairy Dairy Land says:

      Brillo has just played Ernie. Fairy dairy Land is where Ernie went when he died. It was one of Dave’s favourite records on Desert Island Discs

      It’s not where Mandelson gets his pinta from


    • 14
      Idle says:

      Fairy Dairy Land. Where the friesians are a bit light on their loafers, and all the goats wear tutus. A long way from Luton, certainly, unless you count the concrete herd in Milton Keynes. Ben Bradshaw may be the Hon Member to consult on this.


    • 92
      Nemo says:

      Yes but they are repeating old ones what about some originality or are Dave’s speak writers just idol, come Guido you could be a good speech writer also a good director of communications, why hasn’t Davey spotted you you could put of vitriol in to his speeches, you will attract a certain type of voter aker like this Blog, it would do the cons a world of good, go on put lead in his pencil, we’ve seen the results of Ted’s lead in his pencil.


  2. 2
    tris says:

    What would you expect from the least intellectually competent pm in 50years?


    • 3
      Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

      what planet have you been on since 97 then?


    • 8
      Fuck off says:

      Yeah, because Blair and Brown were intellectual giants weren’t they?


    • 66
      That women is a bigot and I blame Sue says:

      “Doctor” J Gordon Brown was an intellectual giant indeed and an economic genius He was master of putting people immediately at their ease and their was no awkardness about his manner .it is a vicious calumny by the Tory Party that he was in fact economically illiterate;threw Nokia Mobile phones at his aides heads;thumped his driver in the back;tossed secretaries off their chairs and stabbed his biro into his desk at Downing Street and that the Despatch Box had to be takeb away for french polishing during the 2008 recess to get rid of the ink marks from Mr Brown’s pen


  3. 4
    I'd pay him to quote Arnold and Ali G says:

    Next week, I want him to work in “I’ll be back” and “Booyakasha” into his answers.


  4. 6
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Alan Johnson is on the Daily Politics Show. What a stupid, stupid man he is!


  5. 10
    The Guidoisation of politics continues says:

    Brillo’s show just played a bit of Ernie the Milkman with the Fairy Dairy Land line.


  6. 12
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    The intellectual giant Eddie Izzard now on Daily Politics with his simple arguments. *sad face*


  7. 13
    You're AVin a laugh says:

    Eddie Izzard vs Robert Winston right now on Brillo’s show.


  8. 17
    Ed was even shitter than usual says:

    Even though I’m biased by hating Labour anyway, I have to say Ed Milibland was quite shit today even by his own desirory standards. Cameron destroyed him with the quote from Ed’s Sun interview “I won’t defend everything we did in the past, even though I was in the government at the time”.


  9. 18
    Postal Vote says:

    100.1% of postal votes in favour of AV

    PS Client State + Postal Voting + AV = Labour Rule


  10. 20
    Brillo's show says:

    Izzard’s losing the argument quite badly.


    • 32
      The literal, English meaning of Celt is scrounger says:

      I was going to vote No, but when I listened to the gems of wisdom offered by Izzard I changed me mind dint I

      I am always influenced by slebritee transvestite lefty cu’nts


    • 45
      Lefty LimpyDims are toast tomorrow says:

      Possibly because he has no intellect whatsoever.


  11. 22
    The literal, English meaning of Celt is scrounger says:

    Tomorrow the parasitic Celt filth will force AV upon England

    My hope is Cam uses the tremendous line oft used by Bernard Manning when gigging in Wales:
    Any miners in tonight?

    When the filth shouted Yes!, He’d say well fook off and get some Coal up, you lazy cu’nt.


    • 38
      A committed Fascist says:

      Mrs Fatch closed the fooken Mines, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

      Fuck the Weslhists


      • 43
        Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

        Labour closed more mines than Baroness thatcher……


        • 54
          Lefty LimpyDims are toast tomorrow says:

          And they spent 17 years whining about school children not getting free milk. And then continued the same policy themselves.


  12. 23
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Postman Alan – Shut the f**k up and go away.


    • 61
      Lefty LimpyDims are toast tomorrow says:

      How a man with no (zero, nada) O’levels – who worked as a shelf-stacker at Tesco before taking the intellectually demanding role of postman – has the gall to try and lecture anyone about anything. He may as well have “I am a thick working class c’unt’ branded on his forehead with an iron. Sheesh.


  13. 24
    Bap Watch says:

    I’m disappointed Lisa didn’t get her Nandys out today. But Caroline Dinenage was deliciously MILFy.


  14. 26

    But a party’s needs are manifold
    And Labour married Ed
    But strange things happened on their wedding night
    As they lay in their bed
    Was it the trees a-rustling
    Or the hinges on the gate –
    Or David’s spent banana skin
    For Ed to slip and skate?

    They won’t forget Davey (Da-vey)
    As they run the daftest party in the West


  15. 29
    Lord Bowden of Middlesex says:

    where was all the Labour Mps? why were they not there to fight for there voters? are they taking lessons from Gordon?


  16. 36
    Bap Watch says:

    Is it wrong that I wouldn’t mind shagging Theresa May?


  17. 41
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Alan Johnson is latching on to anything. What he did not answer was why so many labour MPs are not backing AV.
    I doubt he would pass the entrance test to become a postman.


  18. 48
    Engineer says:

    When Dave shouts, “What do you think of the show so far?” and the Dispatch Box opens and answers, “Ruggish!” we’ll have a show.


    • 58
      Joss Taskin says:

      Wrong Ernie, surely ??


      • 62
        Engineer says:

        It was Eric’s line. Ernie was the one with the short fat hairy legs, always trying to stage the play what he’d wrote.


        • 80

          Red Ed, after much spin doctoring and focus group testing has found all the right sounds the public wants to hear. He is hitting all the right notes.

          Just not necessarily in the right order.


  19. 49
    Tit wank says:

    I want a soapy tit wank from Caroline Dinenage.


  20. 59
    Gordon Brown says:

    I know that when I die, no one will dance on my grave. The nation will be in mourning.


  21. 68
    Kelvin Hopkins MP for Fairy Dairy Land says:


  22. 78

    Eddie Izzrd makes AV clearer on the politics show.

    AV is like cheese. Everyone likes cheese, but some like Dairylea and some like cheder and some like blue…The moon is made of cheese. Only its Edam. There’s a Dutchman living in the moon saying “Help Help! I’m surrounded by bloody cheese..Help!”
    Only he says it in a Dutch way which is more “He shevery body. Shelp me ya! i am eating the cheese and schmoking the red bit on the edam”

    What is that red bit for? Why doesn’t Dairylea have a red candle making kit on each triangle? {James mason voice} I’d like some cheese please. With the red bit round the edge, but not Edam..cause Edam’s crap”

    {continues for 20 mins}

    And so that’s why we should all vote for AV


  23. 79
    Aunt Hilda says:

    its very obvious ‘ittle Ed is still deluding himself that by repeating the silly lines he uses at PMQs the nation will really take him seriously…

    risible reality of the shadow tactics again today cynically espoused by Yvette Cooper on world at one today ……ranting the same denial lines and budget cut jibes …overbearing manic speech…made all the more laughable when she and her spineless double talking husband helped to create the 13 year shambles we are having to deal with.


  24. 81
    Gordacov says:

    I wrote a bestselling book on Courage.

    I’m currently working on the sequel. Guinness.


  25. 84
    Anonymous says:

    I thought telling that numptie to apologise for winning an all women shortlist was pretty amusing..


  26. 98
    Mica in Spain says:

    how about another insurance link
    I’m sure he could slip in “Go Compare”


  27. 102
    Thor says:

    i read earlier today 4-5-2011 a blogger said they would love to perform cunnilingus on sarah palin i could not help but laugh as sex and politics are never far apart anyway! eg bill clinton and ms lewinsky in late 90s other bloggers have commented on yvette cooper or caroline flint as politicians fuck us with taxes on taxes you can understand why some bloggers want to fuck them back! what do you get in return for your votes? taxes and less money to live on while they live opulent lives at our expense remember film you don t mess with the zohan when arabs talk politics they discussed how shaggable politicians were! politicians make people poor in return for your votes


  28. 104
    robbie says:

    Start searching the Frankie Howard scripts for next week….


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