Fortnum & Paul Mason

Look out for tonight’s Newsnight report from Comrade Mason who has spent the weekend sipping Molotov cocktails with Laurie Penny. For Mason these last few months have been an exciting period, reporting on a revolution which has Tweeted its way from Tahir Square to Trafalgar Square. Sometimes from dangerous territory with guerrilla protestors taking on tanks and now with those who think smashing up teacakes in front of old ladies is the moral equivalent.

Comrade Mason Live on the Frontline

Sometimes it has been as if he was broadcasting from Karl Marx’s bedroom – actually he did do that – embedded with friends this weekend his report should be an interesting exercise in straining impartiality. On his blog he let slip that: “At Fortnum and Mason the demonstrators who took it over are trying to get out, texting me…”. Above is our reconstruction of Mason in deep cover disguise this weekend…

Dave’s McTory Doom

Guido doesn’t normally delve in to second division politics unless there is a mad power-crazed coke-head on the run, but the Scottish Tories aren’t exactly having a good start to their election campaign. Not only have they had a million pounds of funding withdrawn, they have somehow managed to lose not one or two, but three candidates before their official launch this morning. Those that said their useless leader Annabel Goldie should have gone months ago are certainly having the last laugh.

Glasgow Councillor David Meikle seems to have kicked over the apple-cart, citing the Tories refusal to investigate allegations of vote rigging as the reason he is walking. The other two have left on slightly less noble terms. Last week Malcolm Macaskill, was sacked after past financial troubles emerged and Iain Whyte resigned his candidacy so he could carry on working for the NHS. Needless to say the much touted Cameron rejuvenation of the Tories in Scotland isn’t expected any time soon.

The LibDems aren’t having much luck either. Veteran Edinburgh MSP Mike Pringle has been caught with his hand in the till and Hugh O’Donnell MSP cowardly quit when he realised he was going to lose. And there’s still a month to go…

Ed Miliband’s Split Screen Speech Horror – Remixed

Quote of the Day

Dan Hodges writes…

“Labour’s leadership team have a new narrative, one that charges Cameron and Osborne are trying to drag us back to the 1980s. They’re right, they are. And the reason they’re trying to do that is the eighties was a period of total, uninterrupted, unassailable Tory domination, and total, uninterrupted, unprecedented Labour failure.”

Tories Turn Screws on MacShame

Four years before the likely General Election the Tories have decided to very publicly select a candidate in Rotherham. Officially the Party’s “Parliamentary Spokesman” for Denis MacShane’s seat, Jackie Whiteley fought it at the last election, increasing the Conservative vote to 16.7% pushing the LibDems into take second place.

It’s almost as if they are planning for a by-election…

Tory Bagcarriers Census Sleepover

Overblown comparisons to the suffragette movement seem to be all the rage this weekend. After Miliband’s “I have a dream speech” one parliamentary bag-carrier took things a step further. Emily Davidson slept in parliament on the night of 1911 census to highlight the issue of votes for women, and a number of Tory researchers did the same last night to apparently highlight the that “overbearing government is the big issue of the day.” One emailed Guido early this morning to tell him:

“Ordinary people are being increasingly spied on by government snoopers. I wanted to take a stand and highlight the need for parliament to defend our civil liberties. Obviously it’s illegal to refuse to do the census or to lie, so my protest enables me to be honest with the Office of National Statistics without telling them anything about where I live.”

It seems Big Brother Watch have found a different bag-carrier with the same idea. That’ll show ’em.

UPDATE: It is the head of the household is responsible for accurately completing the forms – not the individuals. Guido very much hopes that Mr Bercow has accurately filled in his forms with all residents of the estate last night because it would be rather unfortunate if he were to be prosecuted and fined £1,000 for incorrectly completing them.

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

REMAIN TAKES PROJECT FEAR TO CHURCH REMAIN TAKES PROJECT FEAR TO CHURCH
SOUBRY’S BIG NISSAN-DERSTANDING SOUBRY’S BIG NISSAN-DERSTANDING
JIM SHANNON ORDERED TO REPAY £14,000 EXPENSES JIM SHANNON ORDERED TO REPAY £14,000 EXPENSES
PAY “ONLY REAL RED LINE” FOR BMA JUNIOR DOCTOR LEADERSHIP PAY “ONLY REAL RED LINE” FOR BMA JUNIOR DOCTOR LEADERSHIP
NET MIGRATION UP 20,000 TO 333,000 NET MIGRATION UP 20,000 TO 333,000
POLICE INVESTIGATING TESSA MUNT ELECTION EXPENSES POLICE INVESTIGATING TESSA MUNT ELECTION EXPENSES
LEAVE.EU ON HOOK FOR £500,000 BREXIT GIG LEAVE.EU ON HOOK FOR £500,000 BREXIT GIG
TRUMP SINGS “WE’RE GONNA BUILD A WALL” TRUMP SINGS “WE’RE GONNA BUILD A WALL”
OZBOT VERSUS ANDROGENOID OZBOT VERSUS ANDROGENOID
EDDIE IZZARD’S HOTEL BILLS NOT LAWFULLY DECLARED EDDIE IZZARD’S HOTEL BILLS NOT LAWFULLY DECLARED
POLITICAL PARTY RICHLIST POLITICAL PARTY RICHLIST
EU PLOTS TAX ID NUMBERS FOR EVERY EUROPEAN CITIZEN EU PLOTS TAX ID NUMBERS FOR EVERY EUROPEAN CITIZEN
MUNT ADMITS SHE DIDN’T DECLARE LOCAL CAMPAIGN TRANSPORT MUNT ADMITS SHE DIDN’T DECLARE LOCAL CAMPAIGN TRANSPORT
OZBOT VERSUS ANDROGENOID OZBOT VERSUS ANDROGENOID
“Fat Cats For EU” “Fat Cats For EU”
“CHEATED” LIBDEM PICTURED CAMPAIGNING ON BATTLE BUS “CHEATED” LIBDEM PICTURED CAMPAIGNING ON BATTLE BUS
CHRISTINE HAMILTON HIRED ON THE PUBLIC PAYROLL CHRISTINE HAMILTON HIRED ON THE PUBLIC PAYROLL
CONSERVATIVES IN: SPOT THE DIFFERENCE CONSERVATIVES IN: SPOT THE DIFFERENCE
HULL UNIVERSITY THIRD TO DISAFFILIATE FROM NUS HULL UNIVERSITY THIRD TO DISAFFILIATE FROM NUS
CAMERON’S AIRFARE FABLE CAMERON’S AIRFARE FABLE
TELEGRAPH BLOODBATH: NEW JOBS CULL UNDERWAY TELEGRAPH BLOODBATH: NEW JOBS CULL UNDERWAY
CCHQ FREEZE MPS AND ASSOCIATIONS OUT OF VOTE SOURCE CCHQ FREEZE MPS AND ASSOCIATIONS OUT OF VOTE SOURCE
OSBORNE MISSED BORROWING TARGET BY EVEN MORE THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT OSBORNE MISSED BORROWING TARGET BY EVEN MORE THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT
POLICE INVESTIGATING SHADOW MINISTER OVER ELECTION EXPENSES POLICE INVESTIGATING SHADOW MINISTER OVER ELECTION EXPENSES
TOOTING BY-ELECTION CAMPAIGN KICKS OFF IN BATTERSEA TOOTING BY-ELECTION CAMPAIGN KICKS OFF IN BATTERSEA
ELECTORAL COMMISSION ON JOCK-‘COPTER CAMPAIGN ELECTORAL COMMISSION ON JOCK-‘COPTER CAMPAIGN
STURGEON DUCKS CHOPPER QUESTION STURGEON DUCKS CHOPPER QUESTION
NUS CHIEF EXECUTIVE PAID FIVE TIMES AVERAGE GRADUATE NUS CHIEF EXECUTIVE PAID FIVE TIMES AVERAGE GRADUATE
CORBYN CLAPPED COMMIE LEADER FOR REFUSING TO TOAST THE QUEEN CORBYN CLAPPED COMMIE LEADER FOR REFUSING TO TOAST THE QUEEN
SNP CHOPPER NOT DECLARED PROPERLY SNP CHOPPER NOT DECLARED PROPERLY