Taking the Kids to Saturday’s Big Event

Mrs Fawkes has chosen to go to New York and left Guido in sole charge of Miss Fawkes (5 11/12)  and Ms Fawkes (3 3/4) for the whole of a weekend where Grandad and Grandma Fawkes are unavailable. So how to entertain them this weekend is a concern. Actually it is a gnawing fear in the pit of Guido’s stomach.

Sunday is sorted at a friend’s barbecue. Saturday is a long day, Guido expects to be woken by Ms Fawkes around dawn demanding CBeebies be switched on. Breakfast will be easy, chocolate croissants should put daddy in the good books and leave only twelve hours until bedtime stories. Fortunately there is a big event on Saturday which will keep them entertained all day. Guido is of course referring to the opening of Peppa Pig World. You didn’t think there was an alternative, did you?

Teachers’ Strike Explained

The National Union of Teachers really must do better.

1/10, see Guido after school…

Friday Caption Competition

We have a copy of Heather Brooke’s The Silent State: Secrets, Surveillance and the Myth of British Democracy to give away to a co-conspirator who comes up with an amusing caption.  Heather was the campaigner who went to court to get MPs expenses released under the Freedom of Information Act. Without her crooked MPs would still be pontificating in parliament instead of doing porridge. Usual rules apply.

IPSA Say “That Will Do Nicely”

IPSA is under prolonged and heavy attack from MPs who are using every trick in the book to undermine and thwart it. It is fair to say that IPSA was a badly conceived idea produced in a panic during the dying days of the Brown tyranny, it wastes a lot of money itself and could in truth be better organised. Nevertheless one fact strikes Guido, the new expenses regime has saved £18 million. The fact that MPs hate the bureaucracy created might make them think about the quangos and regulations they inflict upon us. The political class has only itself to blame. Remember 52% of MPs had to repay fiddled expenses…

Back in 2009, before IPSA was set up, the Sunlight Centre produced recommendations which included a House of Commons debit card as the best way to regulate legitimate expenses. The transactions would as normal be electronically recorded and could thus be published online in real-time, the spending limits would be automatic and bureaucracy would be minimal. The idea was first proposed in Disinfecting Parliament, a report that recommended a number of measures based on best practice in the private sector that could easily be transferred to IPSA. Two years later IPSA has finally announced a plan to introduce debit cards…

Guy News Special Report:
Exposing the Guardian’s Hypocritical Tax Dodges

The GuyNews.TV team has been investigating the Guardian’s murky financial affairs for weeks, we have their press office on speed dial. The Guardian’s editor Alan Rusbridger says he asked the GMG plc CEO to answer our questions. So far all we have got is a terse statement from GMG plc. However the GuyNews.TV investigative team has spoken with insiders and literally got inside the Guardian. Our report will be going out exclusively to Guidogram subscribers at 5 p.m. today – the truth is a story which will shock Guardian readers.

If you want to see our Guy News Special Report tonight, subscribe for free to the Guidogram here

Nick Agrees With Dave

For his weirdie beardie critics in his own party this little slip-up will symbolise Clegg getting too close to Cameron. Oh well…



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

David Cameron tells MPs after voting:

“Wouldn’t miss this for the world. Secret ballots very important. Remember the Chartists.”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

WALTER MITTY CV OF ANTI-FRACKING CANDIDATE WALTER MITTY CV OF ANTI-FRACKING CANDIDATE
Cassetteboy v Cameron and Farage Cassetteboy v Cameron and Farage
MICROSOFT SHAKES DOWN PUBLIC SECTOR FOR DOSH MICROSOFT SHAKES DOWN PUBLIC SECTOR FOR DOSH
WATCH: Toby Young Skewers Labour Zero Hours Contract Attack Line WATCH: Toby Young Skewers Labour Zero Hours Contract Attack Line
MAIL TRICKED INTO QUOTING BATMAN FILM IN PLANE CRASH COVERAGE MAIL TRICKED INTO QUOTING BATMAN FILM IN PLANE CRASH COVERAGE
ANTI-FRACKING PARLIAMENTARY CANDIDATE WANTED TO WORK FOR FRACKERS ANTI-FRACKING PARLIAMENTARY CANDIDATE WANTED TO WORK FOR FRACKERS

Crick Gets Paxo’d Crick Gets Paxo’d
Cameron’s Secret A-List Cameron’s Secret A-List
Corrections and Clarifications: Brooks Newmark Corrections and Clarifications: Brooks Newmark
What is Wrong With the Lobby? What is Wrong With the Lobby?
Arrogant Bercow: “I’m Not Going Anywhere” Arrogant Bercow: “I’m Not Going Anywhere”
GOVERNMENT SHELLS OUT FOR PHOTO OF DEAD ZEBRA GOVERNMENT SHELLS OUT FOR PHOTO OF DEAD ZEBRA
DWP Press Office Wins the Internet DWP Press Office Wins the Internet
Two-Faced Chuka Ruins Labour Attack Ad Two-Faced Chuka Ruins Labour Attack Ad
Cameron Mauls Miliband at PMQs Cameron Mauls Miliband at PMQs
Actual Pub Landlord Likes Farage Actual Pub Landlord Likes Farage
Dave’s SNP Poodle Zinger Dave’s SNP Poodle Zinger
GREEDY SOLAR INDUSTRY WANTS MORE PUBLIC CASH GREEDY SOLAR INDUSTRY WANTS MORE PUBLIC CASH
This is the worst thing the LibDems  have ever done This is the worst thing the LibDems have ever done
CLIMATE CHANGE FUELLED MOSQUITOES ARE NOT COMING TO GET YOU CLIMATE CHANGE FUELLED MOSQUITOES ARE NOT COMING TO GET YOU
ORDNANCE SURVEY OPENS UP DATA MAPPING TREASURE CHEST ORDNANCE SURVEY OPENS UP DATA MAPPING TREASURE CHEST
“I’d S**k Off David Cameron” “I’d S**k Off David Cameron”
WATCH: Cameron Heckled By Pensioners WATCH: Cameron Heckled By Pensioners
WATCH: Gove v Campbell WATCH: Gove v Campbell
Politician dumps his wife over sexy selfies Politician dumps his wife over sexy selfies
UKIP PROTESTERS ORGANISED BY GREEN LOBBYIST UKIP PROTESTERS ORGANISED BY GREEN LOBBYIST
You’ve Been Cricked! You’ve Been Cricked!
He’s Not Dancing Anymore He’s Not Dancing Anymore
Miliband’s Hedge Funder Hypocrisy Miliband’s Hedge Funder Hypocrisy
NATIONAL TRUST CLAIMS CLIMATE CHANGE IS “BIGGEST THREAT” NATIONAL TRUST CLAIMS CLIMATE CHANGE IS “BIGGEST THREAT”