March 22nd, 2011

Lord Madsen

One person who will have a closer than usual eye on the budget tomorrow is the Adam Smith Institute’s Madsen Pirie. Tobacco duty rising again is the last thing a blossoming cigar company needs. Putting his money where his mouth is, Pirie backed and remains a shareholder in Regius Cigars, who seem to have returned the favour with a nominally optimistic tribute:

Baron Fawkes or a cigar named after Guido. Tough call…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Smokers prop up the NHS.

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Sorry but what makes it worse is that normal white workin classes are taxed to the fuckin hilt , Add to that the destruction of the pub industry with taxes and the smoking ban , When will goverment get out of our lives , I once saw a advert stating that in petrol, More goes to the goverment than is made in profit, the same with fags, Does anyone wonder why so many people fuck off to france and mainland europe to get cheap baccy and booze? Remeber what the TEA party stands for Taxed Enough Already, when are we going to protest? ( I am not protesting with lefties to try and overthrow this goverment , not that they will, Plus they want bigger goverment , i dont) . The political class are so out of touch that NONE of them know how the real world works.

    Tossers the lot of em!

  3. 3
    Socialism has murdered 150 million human beings pride says:

    Somebody has to.

  4. 4
    Smoking gun says:

    No smok without fire. Disgraced MP Mark Oaten takes job promoting fur trade.
    Oh shit!

  5. 5
    smoggie says:

    It would be a profitable enterprise if it were not for all those sick persons. But it’s ultimate problem is that for any service or product which is free: demand is unlimited.

  6. 6
    Gordon Brown says:

    Can someone name something after me please?

  7. 7
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    6 x 38 ?

    What do those numbers stand for?

  8. 8
    jgm2 says:

    Gordon Brown’s Deficit. How’s that?

  9. 9
    smoggie says:

    Over 80% of what you pay at the pump goes to the government in tax. They like to blame the greedy oil companies for ths (just as they like to blame the greedy bankers for economic problems) but the truth is, no ne benefits more in a price rise hike than the exchequer.

  10. 10
    Sir William Waad says:

    That would be a cigarillo, surely Guido?

  11. 11
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    6 ( quantiy) x 38 ( Brand) ?

  12. 12
    jgm2 says:

    Google is your friend…

    It’s a Panatella.

  13. 13
    Homer Simpson says:

    Panatela (6″ x 38)

    It is the type of Cigar it is.

    Classical Cigar Shapes by Lenght :(He! He!)

  14. 14
    Gordon Brown says:


  15. 15
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    But it’s not free. We all pay for it.

  16. 16
  17. 17
    Lt Gen Bertie Farquarson says:

    Not really part of this but Barnet council are insulting the Irish.

    On their website, about the forthcoming referendum, they put:

    You can vote in the referendum if you are registered to vote, are 18 or over and are:

    a British citizen, or
    a qualifying Commonwealth citizen*, or
    a citizen of the Irish Republic

    Blatantly ignoring the fact that the people of Southern Ireland won their independence the hard way. I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if this insult came from Parliament.

  18. 18
    Lord Mandelbum of Fondleboys says:

    How about a Big Willy cigar named after Bill Clinton, well known cigar fan along with his friend Monica Lewdinsky…

  19. 19
    smoggie says:

    Nokia are coming out with a new “ruggedized” cellphone. That would be a candidate.

    The Nokia Flyer N10?

    The Brownite N11?

    The Prudence Smartturn with Balls technology?

  20. 20
    jgm2 says:

    What are you talking about?

  21. 21
    Bill Clinton says:

    I like cigars.

  22. 22
    TJB says:

    Bah, beat me to my gag about Monica Lewinsky favouring a slightly larger ring gauge on her cigars!

  23. 23
    smoggie says:

    You don’t pay for it directly. Whether you use it or not you will pay a fee, a tax, which is unrelated to your demand. So, if you use it once, twice or whenever you fancy, it will cost you nought, ergo it that sense, it is free.

  24. 24
    Nokia exec says:

    The WhoseIdea N251

  25. 25
    Chris from Wales and Labour Mp says:

    I prefer fags.

  26. 26
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    “Happiness is a cigar called Lord Masden”.

    Doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.

  27. 27
    smoggie says:

    This is not just Barnet but applies to GEs as well. It is not new but has always been so.

  28. 28
    Dack Blog says:

    I don’t imagine that Mandy will be borrowing your novelty cigar cutter.

  29. 29
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Really? I’ll remember that next time I need a prescription, or dental treatment.

  30. 30
    Chayree Blair says:

    I smoke after intercourse. As soon as Tony slides out his 18″ of solid manhood, I do. Ooooooooh!

  31. 31
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Guido , IF and i do if the Goverment offered you a seat in the Lords for services to tackle corupption ( Or something like that) Would you take it?

  32. 32
    Happy now?!! says:

    You happy now?!! Look what you’ve done to our beloved Auntie Beeb! Look! You happy?!!!!

    The BBC could cut back on its overnight programming in a bid to save money. The move, which would affect the schedule between 10.35pm and 6am, is one of the ideas suggested by the corporation’s staff in an internal review.

    Asked if overnight programming – which the BBC currently spends £150 million on a year – could disappear altogether, he said: “Obviously that’s one theoretical possibility, or you might do something else, you might put something else on.”

    The BBC committed itself to saving billions of pounds from its budget when it launched the process, called Putting Quality First, last year.

    Other ideas, which the BBC described as “common emerging themes” from the process include repeating its popular shows like the drama South Riding on different channels in the same week.

  33. 33

    Mrs Fawkes insists it has to be an Irish baronetcy. Baron Guido of Wexford has a nice ring to it. Suspect it’ll require Guido getting hold of some very interesting negatives first…

  34. 34
    Telephone order to local Homebase says:

    25,000 gallons of Mind Bleach please.

  35. 35
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Well Bowled Guido :-)

  36. 36
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Oh and Thanks for the answer :-)

  37. 37
    Justice says:

    Say what you like about I*rael but I can’t imagine any muzee country imprisoning one of its own former leaders for anything, let alone sexual crimes.

    Former I*raeli president M*she K*tsav has been jailed for seven years at a court in Tel A*iv for r*pe and other sexual offences. He was convicted in December of r*ping a former employee and sexually harassing two other women who used to work for him. The court rejected K*tsav’s lawyers’ request for leniency, making him the highest-ranking Israeli official ever sent to jail.

  38. 38
    Billy Bowden is the honkiest mutha fucka ever ! says:

    Google is great isn’t it? I googled Zebra piss, as you do, and got this.

  39. 39
    Gordon Brown says:

    Mummy says if I learn to wipe my bot bot, I can have an extra portion of boiled cabbage with my din dins. Yaaaay!

  40. 40
    disappointed of bourton on the water says:

    Thought you already had them stashed in a bank safety box somewhere.

  41. 41
    Steve Miliband says:

    Wouldn’t Gordon Brown leaving No10 been better if they started playing the Hamlet music

  42. 42
    jgm2 says:

    You’ll have to fight Osborne for it then. Isn’t he Baron Summat of Wexford too?

  43. 43
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Nah , What about the tune from the wizard of Oz , When the witch dies? Or am i getting confused?

  44. 44
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    That would have made me laugh.

  45. 45
    jgm2 says:

    Oh be fair. Muslim countries have a long tradition of hanging their former rulers for various crimes.

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    Getting confused???? You’re already there and got the T shirt luvvie.

  47. 47
    Word says:

    A prescription isn’t a service.

    Dental treatment I’ll give you… though it is heavily subsidised.

  48. 48
    jgm2 says:

    The ‘Darth Vader’ theme music would have been good wherever he went to. A bit like the yanks have ‘Hail to the Chief’.

  49. 49
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Ball of the day lad! :-)

  50. 50
    Fawkes go native says:

    I suspect that as a Baron you can claim expenses, so a no brrainer.

  51. 51
    Mandelson says:

    That’s MY theme!

  52. 52
    Mentalist McDoom says:

    This was Brown’s theme.

  53. 53
    Word says:

    Destruction of the pub industry. Genius. Twats like you are the reason they bother with all their made up bullshit about being driven out of business. No hidden agenda there, no, not all all. *coughs*profit*coughs*.

  54. 54
    hung for a sheep and a lamb says:

    I’m gonna play this music when Billy gets topped.

  55. 55

    Why? No. Don’t want to know.

  56. 56

    I wonder does this count as tobacco advertising……

  57. 57
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Based overseas so not covered by the law?

  58. 58
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Dental treatment might be heavily subsedised but it’s still bloody expensive in the UK.

    I didn’t realise quite how expensive it was until I needed a dentist in another part of Europe. Same qualifications (trained in Sheffield) but about a quarter of the price – and a far better quality of treatment.

  59. 59
  60. 60
    Lord Mangledbum of Boyz says:

    I miss you hun.

  61. 61
    Dick4Brains says:

    can somebody tell me the nearest NHS dentist to the west country?

  62. 62
    Socialists at it again says:

    Brace yourself. There’s gonna be a load of protests against cuts this Saturday being held by various lefty socialist groups.

    Kettle time!

  63. 63
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Forgot about that classic, I do kinda miss the mental one…..

  64. 64
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    London, But only if you are a ethnic minority.

  65. 65
    PigShit says:

    It seems to me that the British actually enjoy a bit of flogging and hardship – something about character development – which makes it very easy for our corrupt legislators to take the piss. We could learn a thing about revolution by watching the Libyans and Yemenies and others. Thje establishment here is fucking crap and totally self-centred

  66. 66
    PigShit says:

    Now that the British Government have solved the Japan crisis and are nearly finished in Libya can we expect them to tak some notice of the people in this country – agh, yes, it’s the budget tomorrow – more fucking strife

  67. 67


    D’you mean jpgs?

  68. 68
    You couldn't make it up says:

    On the SWP website:

    We believe David Cameron’s statement that multi culturalism has failed was a dangerous declaration of intent. David Cameron’s speech was reminiscent of Margaret Thatcher’s infamous 1978 statement that Britain was “being swamped by alien cultures”. He has branded Britain’s Muslims as the new “enemy within” in the same way as Thatcher attacked the miners and trade unions.

    Initial signatories include:

    Peter Hain
    Jeremy Corbyn
    Ken Livingstone
    Salma Yaqoob
    Bob Crow
    Billy Hayes
    Mark Serwotka
    Lauren Booth
    Lindsey German

  69. 69
    The Sleeper says:

    You can turn up to the A&e every day and it won’t cost you a penny piece.

    A spell in the Third World might also cure your selective blindness.

  70. 70
    the fairiest of them all says:

    Yeah, just look in a fucking mirror Billy.

  71. 71
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Let the market decide the fate of the BBC .

  72. 72
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    no Ed Miliband? Guess he has dropped the socailist tag then…

  73. 73
    jgm2 says:

    Then you’ll just love this version from one of Tony Blair’s early Labour Conferences. Can’t fault the choreography.

  74. 74
    bombings and no go areas notwithstanding says:

    “He has branded Britain’s Muslims as the new “enemy within”


  75. 75
    The Jackal says:

    Me too unfortunately.

  76. 76
    Tobacco duty rising again is the last thing a blossoming Fat Ken needs. says:

  77. 77
    Reinaldo says:

    I much prefer his tip without a filter.

  78. 78
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Oooooohhhh look! There’s a passing bandwagon.

  79. 79
    You asked says:

    Decline and fall of Britain under Gordon Brown

  80. 80
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Sleeper has obviously never needed an NHS dentist. They’re about as rare as rocking horse shit.

  81. 81
    jgm2 says:

    And you can sit in A&E for 3 hours and 59 minutes before being seen by anybody with even the most perfunctory medical qualification.

    Then they’ll send you home to die.

  82. 82
    jgm2 says:

    I’m not seeing any ‘workers’ in that list of socialist signatories.

  83. 83
    angelnstar says:

    His odds are inching towards a victory…… can Boris defy the fates a second time?

  84. 84
    Cherie Blair says:

    Lauren Booth signed it so it must be right

  85. 85
    You couldn't make it up says:

    Your loopy half sis is a born again muzbot. Fuck her. And you, slotgob.

  86. 86
    This is Dave and Nick's theme. says:

  87. 87
    Labour says:


  88. 88
    Uh oh! It's the youtube mentalist who likes to say winkie a lot! Yap! says:

    Mr Yap is back!

  89. 89
    Yanks begin attacking the wrong people in Libya as usual says:

    Pilot number one, who was scarcely injured, was taken to the military authorities in Benghazi from where he was quickly handed over to the Americans.

    But a rescue mission was mounted for pilot number two, and this is where what could have been comic turned sour. Osprey aircraft came in, all guns blazing, assuming – as the American military tends to do – that this was hostile territory.

    “We are disturbed about the shooting because if they’d given us a chance we would have handed over both pilots,” said Colonel Sayid. “This shooting created panic.

    “Worse than that, several bystanders were injured, amongst them 43-year-old Hamad Abdul Ati. We found him in Jala hospital in Benghazi, with multiple shrapnel and bullet wounds, and a broken arm. He didn’t understand why the Americans had been so aggressive in their rescue mission.

    “We consider that whoever is shot down or a prisoner of war, we should save him and hand him over,” he told me from his hospital bed. “But another plane shot at me and Hamdy my son. I have shrapnel in my hand.”Hospital staff told us that 20-year-old Hamdy’s injuries were far worse, and he was undergoing an operation to amputate part of one leg.

  90. 90
    Bob Crow says:

    Socialism will save us.

  91. 91
    Yanks begin attacking the wrong people in Libya as usual says:

    Six villagers who rescued a US pilot have been shot by a US helicopter.

  92. 92
    Uh oh! It's the youtube mentalist who likes to say winkie a lot! Yap! says:

    Mr Yap is back !

  93. 93
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  94. 94
    Uh oh! It's the youtube mentalist who likes to say winkie a lot! Yap! says:

    Mr Yap is back!!

  95. 95
    Uh oh! It's the youtube mentalist who likes to say winkie a lot! Yap! says:

    Mr Yap is back !!

  96. 96
    Bled White Taxpayer says:

    A new combi-virus composed of syphilis and HIV?

  97. 97
    Billy Bongo is the shittest tourist ever ! says:

    because he’s the peewee kiwi

  98. 98
    Tachybaptus says:

    A title is only a title,
    But a good cigar is a smoke.

    (Kipling actually said ‘woman’, not ‘title’.)

  99. 99
    Anonymous says:

    The yappy one only ever posts anti coalition vids you numbnut.

  100. 100
    Madge says:

    Well this afternoon I went to church and offered a little prayer to God in the hope that he gives Gordon Brown a very special gift of incurable Cancer. The thought of him slowly dying in painful agony made me feel so much better that I really enjoyed the rest of my afternoon with the grand children.

  101. 101
    Engineer says:

    I doubt that anybody would be silly enough to name a cigar after me, but if they did it would have to be 1″ x 8 tpi, or at a pinch M24 x 3. Length to suit, of course.

  102. 102
    Beast says:

    Cough the job Fawkes how many free ones have you been given?

  103. 103
    A Fuckwit says:

    If the BBC were shut down overnight, they’d all be down Hampstead Heath bumming 14 year old boys.

  104. 104
    Richard Baron says:

    We are fortunate to be able to visit the Regius website. If you try to get to from the UK, you will be told that the law prevents your accessing it here. The nanny state has (a) gone mad and (b) never heard of proxy servers.

  105. 105
    Tachybaptus says:

    Whitworth is a bit of a coarse smoke. I prefer BSF myself.

  106. 106
    Tessa Tickles says:

    “You don’t pay for it directly”

    Funny, before I quit working full-time in 2005, I was paying £704 National Insurance contributions every month. I’d call that “paying for it directly”.

    Free NHS? Yeah, right.

  107. 107
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Imagine how they’d have been treated if they hadn’t rescued the aircrew.

  108. 108
    Tessa Tickles says:

    hide my ass, by any chance? Excellent – thanks to Google, it took me about 20 seconds to get round the restrictions.

  109. 109
    Chayree Blair says:

    Good on yer, Madge. We don’t want anything quick and clean, but I did offer Tone the stainless steel carving knife every time the one-eyed Scottish wanker came through from number 11.

  110. 110
    Fur enuf says:

    The little minx.

  111. 111
    All on the bandwagon says:

    Where’s Peter Hain’s mums signature?

  112. 112
    Jim Royle says:

    ‘Welcome to

    This website is exclusively dedicated to information on smokers’ items and accessories by Davidoff.’

    So why is it verbotten?

    My arse.

  113. 113
    Gordon Brown serenades Sarah says:

    You’re once, twice, three times a beard.

  114. 114
    Yahoo!Bing etc says:

    In the interest of helping people avoid having their data captured we would like to point out that other search providers are available.

  115. 115
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Beats me.

    “We are sorry due to national legal restrictions we can not grant you access to our Website Thank you for your understanding.”

    (one ‘t’ in verboten, BTW).

  116. 116
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Bob Crow’s on there.. oh, you’re right.

  117. 117
    Mr Kipling says:

    But it was an exceedingly good ….

  118. 118
    Shut it, slotgob says:

    Did Gordon ever excite you in many ways?

  119. 119
    The Orwellian definition of the word Free says:

    Smoggie you don’t half talk shite mate.

  120. 120
    Anonymous says:

    Winston (Churchill) got a regular supply of his favourite cigars every year from Cuba, a personal gift from Fidel Castro, what that says about capitalism v communism I dont know, but obviously neither of them had any big hangups about lighting up. A woman is only a woman but a good cigar is a smoke- Rudyard Kipling.

  121. 121
    Yankee Doodle Fuckwit says:

    Yeeeeeeehhhhhhhaaaaaaaa Top gun Dude !

  122. 122
    Rent boys are us says:

    Think it’s safe to say fur muffs are not his favourite thing.

  123. 123
    The Impure Manure co. says:

    Certainly Mr. Brown, we will be pleased to consider incorporating your name for use on our product if you would let us know how much you are prepared to pay us.

  124. 124
    Prezza the lard says:

    Obvious lad, six trays of 38 pies. Gett’em over here, now.

  125. 125
    :) says:

    I’d pay double the licence fee if they brought back the Test Card.

    At least there’d ne no left wing bias.

  126. 126
    :) says:

    We’re being rescued by US Marines.

    …..Quick get the f**k out of here.

  127. 127
    The Brown Bottom says:

    Isn’t there a train named after you?

    Oh, wait, that was the Flying Scotsman

  128. 128
    nell says:

    gad afi is apparently tonight seeking a safe haven.

    I wonder if he will go here where one of his sons has already gone with that plane load of bulllion and some of the family.

    (By the by gordon and balls, please note that some countries, libya in particular, had enough sense not to sell off their bullion when it was at rock bottom, but to keep it for a rainy day!)

  129. 129
    nell says:

    Two infamous men who publicly enjoyed cuban cigars.

    One has already gone to meet his maker , the other may well follow soon.

  130. 130
    Sadam's Lie'r says:

    True !

    I’ve still not been paid !

  131. 131
    Anonymous says:

    Bill Clinton pubicly enjoyed a cuban cigar.

  132. 132
    Little Lord Fondlebum, sham pain socialist says:

    I’ll take an Alonso Menendez every time.

  133. 133
    albacore says:

    Needing a some light relief from the doom and gloom of the budget, I took a gander at our witty Government’s latest side-splitter:
    “Building a fairer Britain: Reform of the Equality and Human Rights Commission”.
    Here is not the place to launch a comprehensive appreciation of this masterwork of shaggy-dog-story gobbledegook; but I cannot recommend it highly enough to fellow insomniacs.
    Rest assured that your blood pressure, elevated by tales of why that vicious QUANGO has been put on the naughty step, will be restored to tranquillity in the knowledge that not only do we have a Minister for Equalities but also a Minister for Women & Equalities, too, to get medieval on its ass.

  134. 134
    Thought Police Fugitive says:

    Bob Crow speaks for Ed Miliband.

  135. 135
    PigShit says:

    In a unique display of endeavour and creativity, Col mGaddafi has opened his store of old Dunlop tennis raquets as a means of repelling the ‘enemy bombs’. As the bombs are fired his armed militia are to be seen playing a variety of tennis strokes to hit the bombs back where they came from. David Campbell, apparently the British PM has scornfully remarked … “at least we’ve still got Tim Henman”

    back to the studio in London, where there is nobody because we are all in Libya, Sky & BBC, planted before the conflict began, NewsTeams

  136. 136
    PigShit says:

    in other news, my sources tell me but it is not being reported on the british media, it seems that the level of radiation in drinking water in Tokyo is 27 times greater than the safe, not normal, level.

  137. 137
    Tax Payer says:

    someone else has paid for every sheet of paper Gordon Brown has ever wiped his arse with

  138. 138
    Gordon Brown says:

    i would only need a table tennis bat

  139. 139
    petrol pump says:

    I seem to recall reading not long ago [perhaps somebody cleverer than me will know how to google to find it] about a garage somewhere that changed its till procedures to list individually all the elements that went to make up the pump price.

    It went something like:
    1 gallon 4 star – 8p
    tax – 70p
    vat- 39p
    extra duty levy 77p

    etc etc. If every garage did this then the motoring public would soon realise by just how much per gallon they are being screwed.

  140. 140
    tube_thumper says:

    well not in the sun anyway too busy with Russell brands “romps”
    Its ok let the chavs die .. but oh no they wont because they dont drink water

  141. 141
  142. 142
    R U Pistov II says:

    Oops. They forgot to add that lot from the EU. surely they are entitled to a say seeing as how they make so many of our decisions for us anyway? And, moreover, I do not understand why the Eireans still have a vote anyway. They pissed off voluntarily – so they should be told to stay pissed off.

  143. 143
    Smokin Jo says:

    Try non-synthetic oil then – and keep the fire extinguisher handy.

  144. 144
    jgm2 says:

    Bollocks. Buying a packet of cigarettes more like.

  145. 145
    tube_thumper says:

    what a fuckwit

  146. 146
    Old geezer says:

    There was a saying during World War 2. When the Luftwaffe flies, the British take cover. Whe the RAF flies, the Germans take cover. When the Yanks fly, everyone takes cover.

  147. 147
    James Robertson Fuckwit says:

    #stupid attention seeking bimbo

  148. 148
    I hate Tesco AND the Pope says:

    Fuck off, Bob, you ignorant, bigoted, semi-literate fraud. Why don’t you do something useful before your clogged arteries fur up completely? Donate all the fat round your middle to the nearest greasy spoon to fry eggs in? You twat.

  149. 149
    Richard Timney says:

    I would not do either of them with yours!

  150. 150
    Richard Timney says:

    “what a fuckwit”(h)

    Not even with yours (see above)

  151. 151
    Harriet Harperdaughter says:

    That is bimboist and a disgraceful attack on the Labour poarty that has given us outstanding parliamentarians like Jacqui Smith, Hazel Blears, Caroline Flint, Tessa Jowell, Dianne Abbot among Udd(ers)in case you have not noticed!

  152. 152
    Carole Hersee says:

    That clown was a real Labour loving jerk, believe me.

  153. 153
    Jack Straw says:

    Wouldn’t 38 trays of 6 be better? Anyone? sums is not my strong point.

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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