Rich and Mark’s Monday Morning View
Secret of Farage’s Success | Prospect
It Was Beeb Not Tabloids That Smeared Help For Heroes | Speccie
Alternatives to Business For Britain Are Muppets | Charlie Mullins
Obama Counsel Knew of IRS Claims Weeks Ago | WSJ
Bunga Bunga Trial: Dancing Girls, Nuns, Nurses & Obama | Reuters
Dave Must Learn From Conan the Barbarian | James Kirkup
Tory Infighting Will Let Miliband In | The Commentator
Real Swivel-Eyed Loons Are in Number Ten | Telegraph
Bozier Accepts Caution | Political Scrapbook
Getting to Know U-KIP | ConservativeHome
Farage Telegraph Advert | Political Scrapbook
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Tom Harris bemoans the public’s attitude to politicians…
“Mr Oborne echoes the lazy, anti-politics whine we hear so often these days, all based on the absurd notion that politicians were once loved and only fell out of public favour during the expenses scandal. He should take a walk to the Strangers’ Bar. But not to sup with the patrons he seems to despise so much, dearie me, no; he should instead look at the paintings on the corridor outside the bar, which depict the devastating fire which consumed most of the Palace in 1834. And he should reflect on the fact that on that dramatic night, as the Commons went up in flames, a crowd gathered on the South Bank to clap and cheer.”
Harold Macmillan says:
” Evans, dear boy, Evans “
Oh my aching sides.
Who is it?
Paul Daniels?
All is well in the world. Last week’s was quite good so we’re back to normality again.
I wonder what did Mark Andrich did in the other 47 hours 59 minutes of the weekend.
“Here on the ground, Huw, it’s a disaster! Japan is wall-to-wall nips! Hideously nip. Don’t these people understand the blessings of cultural diversity, like in UK? It’s a sign from G_d: miscegenate or die, muthafucking nip racists!”
that editorial was brought to you by the racially pure Chosen Ones.
They’re all over my area of SE London. God knows how so many get visas. It’s not as if there are ANY Japanese restaurants around these parts; just the usual 99% kebab concentration.
@Tessa – dunno – mastabate? @Top BBC Reporter – ah, did you catch Jim Naughtie this morning on Today – good grief, the man thinks he’s Shakespeare. ‘I see a bird taking off, unaware of the emotional devastation that has been wreaked upon this great nation, i’m walking over litter, detritus washed down by the terrible surge….et fucking cetera.
I know Today specialises in irrelevant waffle but today’s was a masterpiece in drivel.
I agree Dick, McNaughtie was in full-on gushing mode this morning. At this rate he should qualify for his own entry in Private Eye’s Pseuds Corner. Insufferable and un-listenable. He should stick to book reviews instead of polluting news and current affairs with this nonsense.
must say I was wondering why we need the Toady presenter live from Japan, surely a report from a reporter already there would suffice, what value does having James Naughtie out there add? If the local BBC staffer isnt good enough to provide analysis then replace them, but dont fly out another crew and support team just to what is little more than goggle at the devastation.
Agreed. Naughtie could have conducted interviews perfectly adequately from the Today studio.
Couldn’t there be some kind of pool arrangement for journalists rather than news organisations sending teams of hacks and support staff. They rarely provide any enlightening coverage and simply use up valuable resources that would be better directed to emergency crews and the Japanese survivors.
So the cash-conscious (allegedly) BBC had Naughtie in Japan interviewing the Japanese Ambassador in London. Beyond parody.
What’s a Mo Jo?
Self-confidence or sex-appeal.
Method of jacking off?
Molesting jobsworth?
Boris Johnson’s Mum?
Mohammed Johnson – won the gold medal in 1972 for ladies LaCrosse
Uncle Festus ?
Oh, no, wait – it’s Nosferatu.
Grant Mitchell?
No it’s Paul Daniels the magician.
Yoda’s evil pink twin.
Perfect likeness…….of his shoes….
yo suhi
Dr James Gordon Brown = Dr Evil.
OK.
Guido, here is work by a talented cartoonist / impressionist. It rapiers the Maximum Imbecile with aplomb.
I’m sure that talented individual would love the sort of exposure they could get here. Why not contact them? Thus sparing us this startlingly mediocre shite?
Surely not the work of SIR Philip ?????
No,banker SIR Fred Goodwin.
You’re nicked!
Now that (U TUBE link) is funny
Prescott = Fat Bastard.
That’s not very polite.
It would seem that the brown acid is not specifically, too good.
But does his mojo work?
“I got my mojo working,has Billy Hague?”
A great title for a blues tune
We will be announcing our deficit reduction plan later. Here it is in full:
That’s it
Shame they couldn’t come up with a plan whilst in power.
They did have a plan – continually increase the deficit by pissing money up the wall in the hope that the Tories get the blame when the inevitable spending cuts take place. Brown and Balls in particular are evil shits who deserve all the abuse they get.
They did – they were going to halve the deficit in four years. How? Oh, they couldn’t be bothered with trivial details….
” Labour deficit reduction plan” A contradiction in terms, an oxymoron, A piss in the wind!! By the way Although the current shower might be slightly reducing the PSBR the National debt is still going up each year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE MUST SPEND ARE WAY OUT OF THE INCREESING DET.
You’re breathing Union air you slag. That’s a union pavement you’re walking on and those clothes you’re wearing, they’re union textiles. Anyway, have had a cup of tea now so must get on, it’s biscuit time – come on Comrades, to the cafe!
Gordon Brown = Fook Youse.
There is no money left however we will carry on pumping money in the general direction of Brussels without so much as a second thought.
Oh yes!
And we get a pay-rise to £11bn p/a of your dosh, too! Kushti!
multilingual lDave phones the japanese PM:
Herrow ! Dave here from Eingerand i see you have sunami
good good how much money you rike
we have roads !
Ah, another £45 Million today, and tomorrow, and the next day, and the …..
Shut it you slag. I’m top dog here, me. You can take that haiku and stuff it up your bespectacled Gollum like arse. Now, where’s my £350k for fuck all work. Don’t make me get up you slaaaaaaag.
It’s good to see they’re back to labelling, so that we know who it’s supposed to be.
Not quite up to my standards, is it ?
Andrew Lansley will be announcing a “Deal” (??!) on Tuesday which will see supermarkets, pubs and drinks manufacturers pledge to do their bit to reduce harmful drinking, such as labelling bottles and cans with the number of alcohol units. Other pledges will be made by the food and fitness industries.
They will nanny you on the streets, they will nanny you in the shops and you will be nannied by other organisations on a daily basis.
Before the election they intimated that the state would retreat from someone’s private life wherever it could.
Like with many issues, they were, of course, lying.
The Tories are just Blairites with blue ties and posher accents.
It’s amazing how many idiots voted for something just because it happened to be displaying a blue rosette.
Labour voters are no different – look how many voted Labour in the by-elections for Ilsley and Woolas’ seats. Despite being fucked over by two very unpleasant pricks who both got nailed by the courts the good little sheep still trotted off to the polls and voted Labour. How stupid can you get?
Same applies to yellow and red rosettes too.
VOTE BEEENNPEE
Like the tree thingy. The fags thingy. I cannot believe they
are pursuing such useless politics and
following the health Nazi line. How fucking
gormless can you get.
A cynical person might say watch out today for announcements slipped out while media attention is diverted.
The BBC announces that William Hague will receive a briefing on the Japanese situation. Like, duh, is there anything he can do about it and anyway, what is the Foreign Office for if not to keep their own secretary of state briefed? How come he doesn’t already know all there is to know, which isn’t very much.
If a coordinated rescue effort is needed, I suggest Hague stops gassing and making work for Parisian florists and pastry-cooks, goes home, and lets the professionals get on with building rescue rafts out of salvaged plastic milk-bottles, seeing as how they scrapped Ark Royal with such brilliant foresight.
Don’t worry. HMS Victory is still in commission.
Just don’t let Phil the Greek too close.
Anyone who can drive a Royal Navy frigate around the Med in his youth is OK by me.
If you’re happy and you know it sign my happiness index!
The BBC is from the “Something must be done ( i.e…convene COBRA to discuss options and then decide there’s fuck all the UK is able to do alone or convince its “allies” to do either and follow up with press conference where you mouth platitudes)” school of gesture politics and unfortunately so it seems is Hague(and Cameron)
Austin Powers is not gay you fuckwits.
You’ll like this…not a lot, but you’ll like it
MR HAGUE ! Wheres my fucking no fly zone
we are being slaughtered !
Sorry Mr Rebel its got sweet FA to do with us. Our previous attempts at intervention in Middle Eastern affairs were not exactly well received.
Anyway don’t hold out much hope of the UN helping you. Russia and China don’t approve of the the UN interfering in a country’s internal affairs. See Chechnya and Tibet for example
Too late the “west” has missed the opportunity……I think that most people now expect Gadaffi to re-gain control of his country within the next 2 weeks ….a “no fly zone” is a pointless exercise in gesture politics…..it won’t stop Gadaffi’s ground forces and tanks or naval ships re-taking Benghazi unless the “West” is prepared to launch a massive ground and air attack on those forces(which is unlikely to say the least….Obama is the only one capabale and he’s not keen at all)as to the Arab League let them provide the aircraft for any “no fly zone” if they want it……..
The Arabs are bristling with arms, planes and all other manner of offensive kit. If they support action then they should dust off that kit and put it to the use for which it was designed.
What are they doing with all their BAE purchases if they have no intention of using them?
Please be patient. We are working very hard on this. We have had several meetings, quite a few press conferences and 127 photo opportunities. We are working 24 / 7 on our pursuit of being seen to be international statesmen.
Having had a chat with BP we have decided to stick with the status quo. The new incumbants may not view their contracts favourably and we need their tax contributions to fund 90 years olds who piss and shit themselves hourly with 24 hour care, with no/little concern for the young who have to pay for the loitering c_unts.
I’d love to be around when you’re 90.
Aren’t the Saudi’s tooled up to fuck? The Arab League have called for a no fly zone – is this a piss take? Are they having a spring break laugh? ‘I tell you what Rajif, why don’t we issue a communique that will make it seem like we could give a flying fuck about our brother muslims being slaughtered and watch the west have a dry wank over it?’ ‘Hee hee hee, good blag, do it, do it’. Hmmm….
The Saudis will be using their nice shiny kit just over the causeway in Bahrain.
The last thing they want is the Shias there gaining any kind of control (and of course giving Iran any foothold on the Arabian Peninsula) as it will only encourage their own Shia minority.
Dear Mr Gaddafi and family. Now that you have fallen out with Mr cameron and his BP we would be delighted to help you tap into your vast oil reserves.
Ain’t that the truth.
Gaddafi might be a mad c**t but DC has backed the wrong horse here.
First rule of foreign policy… you don’t have friends only interests
Good; fewer fucking ragheads about.
As prezzer would say, Fire up the 2 shags
Prescott’s two shaguars.
Pass those fooking pies over here !
A Tory peer will appear at the Old Bailey today accused of fiddling his expenses.
Lord Hanningfield, 70, faces six charges of false accounting under the Theft Act.
They allege that between March 2006 and May 2009 he submitted claim forms to the House of Lords which he knew were false.
The charges are said to relate to overnight allowances for accommodation in London when records allegedly showed he was driven to his home near Chelmsford, Essex.
Thanks, Fartin. How are Devine, Illsley and Chayter getting on in prison ??
How come Devine has not been sentenced? It was supposed to be 4 weeks after the trial which would have been last Thursday.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-12403945
Sshhhhhhh!
feed me
Oh fuck!
… “Monday’s edition of Panorama includes an interview with Sean Hoare, the News of the World’s former showbusiness writer, who last year told the New York Times that Andy Coulson had actively encouraged him to hack voicemail. Hoare tells the programme that the news desk commissioned private investigators to access targets’ bank accounts, phone records, mortgage accounts and health records… “
Yawn. Old news rehashed. Everyone knows that all papers do that.
Is that you Andy!
Listening to voice mails because the owner is too thick / lazy to change then PIN is not hacking.
Hardly ‘authorised’ access either.
Hague was rather good in opposition.
Now in power, he does seem rather drained and
aged by responsibility.
Yvette Cooper was a strong character in power.
Now in opposition, she seems drained, weak
and spectacularly care worn. Aging as you look
at her.
Give her a break. She is married to Ed Balls, that would age anyome prematurely.
So would you be living with this Hoon.
Looks Like Japan is in meltdown. Not one, not two , but three nuclear reactors totally fooked. Little wonder that their cars are unsafe.
I suggest you worry. Compare a toyota to a renault. perhaps a renault 14 produced in 1979.
Yeah, all it takes is one little pothole :
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-world/2011/03/08/car-plunges-into-a-massive-pothole-picture-115875-22975195/
Britain can only be repaired by compulsory repatriation. Almost all immigrants over the last 50 years, together with their families, should be returned to their country of origin.
UK can only support around 30 million (source Friends of the Earth) so the other half have to go.
Do you we get to hang on to
our fat, welfare soaked but british Jeremy Kyle rejects?
April is nigh, welcome to Benefit Britain. Come and fill yer boots, its okay if you can’t spend it all, we will arrange for the rest to be sent home for you!
I rather like the Poles, Aussies, Kiwis,
Indians, Japanese, some Chinese,
Americans, South Africans, Slovenes,
Latvians and of course Germans.
Don’t forget the Malays. Oops, what about the Dutch.
Do you know what. I don’t think your idea
is going to work. Think of something else.
Just can’t take this, I actually recognised who R&M’s “cartoon” was without reading the name, this is just getting too much, I prefer the Monday morning guessing game.
Even when you know who it is it’s still not funny.
This “cartoons” are consitently abysmal.
So would you all like to see Douglas Alexander do the job? The little weasel shit.
as hague would say we’re all domed
Guido, The cartoons remain at the same low standards , Consistancy is Skid Marks talent
Is it Shirley Bassey?
I recognised the useless fart at once, without reading the patter.
Lamp posts and piano-wire call out for justice to be visited upon the inmates of the house of conmen. And what is euphemistically referred to as the ‘upper house’ needs to join the celebrations. Bastards all.
Terrible, that cartoon is shit, Richard & Mark need to up their game.
MOJO? Isn’t the word HOMO?