November 8th, 2010

Exclusive: Macintyre Pushed Before He Staggers

Here’s a line Guido has been waiting to write for a long time – the New Statesman’s James Macintyre has been fired.

As regular readers will know Guido has had a less than cordial relationship with the thirsty sidekick of Derek Draper. There are two different versions of events as to what happened after the Statesman’s Labour Party Conference bash. Macintyre claims he was mugged on the way home, but witnesses say he was paralytic. Either way he didn’t wake up with his work laptop or phone. He was put on leave, but has now finally been shown the door after months of humiliating errors and dud stories.

In honour of his departure Guido thought he would list of some James’s Greatest Hits:

How can anyone forget when he called Michael Kaminski, the current leader the Tory ECR group of MEPs, a neo-nazi, on camera? Or when he accused the whole Conservatives of being institutionally racist? What about that time he got the Staggers sued for some serious cash by Daniel Hannan for equally outrageous claims?

There have also been some fantastic quotes from the widely respected journalist. By far the greatest must be those that showed his incredible foresight:

“With a few exceptions, the dark briefings by ministers against other ministers within Labour went away with the departure from Number Ten of Tony Blair”

He was destroyed by the Tory bloggers during the election after making up a story about them based on a menu he found. He also called the election for Labour:

“a small overall majority for Labour is the most likely outcome”

Guido has had some hilarious run ins, such as the time young James accused him of working for the Intelligence Services. Guido was particularly proud of of his put down.

Who could forget the his email chain with his former “close friend” Derek Draper about the cuteness of boys and girls, and the drunken denial of an unasked question at Tory Conference in Manchester 2008:

“I did not have sex with Derek Draper”

One of the final straws that broke the camel’s back must have been his calling of the Labour leadership for Diane Abbott. Presumably post lunch.

It is not known at this time whether he has finally got that job he coveted so much with Ed Miliband…


177 Comments

  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Another fiction writter like Gordon .

  2. 2
    Irene says:

    Another one bites the dust – hundreds to go!

  3. 3
    Dolly Draper says:

    James who?

  4. 4
    Kate Garraway says:

    Derek and I send our deepest condolences to the family of James Macintyre.

  5. 5
    Sarah Tweet says:

  6. 6
    Sarah Tweet with content says:

    Hi this is Sarah back after my day of non-tweeting. Overwhelming support for #burma campaign and a very kind welcome to GB

  7. 7
    no longer anonymous says:

    Wonder who will employ him next…

  8. 8
  9. 9
    Bed Fellow says:

    Does James normally sleep with his laptop then?

  10. 10
    concrete pump says:

    I’m finding it difficult to find a needle large enough to hold the thread which is needed to sew the gaping hole in my sides….ROFL!!

    No, seriously, i’m losing a lot of blood…….LMAO!!!

    I think i’m going to p*ss myself, it’s mixing with my bloody guts……LOL!!

    OH Macintyre, you utter, utter c*nt you have made my day…..(drifts off happy)…

  11. 11
    frank field of dreams says:

    who was that again? wheres gordon

  12. 12
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    His heads in a mess and he should seek a BACP registered psychotherapist – one that gets away with calling their patients “windowlickers” will do just fine.

  13. 13
    GORDON says:

    I STAND SHOULDER TO SHOULDER WITH HIM WHOEVER HE IS#SAVE BURMA I SAVED A FIVER FROM MY MUM

  14. 14
    comedy gold says:

    I do hope Jimmy won’t stop posting on here.

  15. 15
    Anton says:

    Hello!

  16. 16
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    So are you saying you dont take your lines from Mossad then ?

  17. 17
    bеrk cow says:

    “The former Prime Miпister did receive some positive reactions, including one from Sally Bercow, the Labour-supporting wife of the Commoпs Speaker.

    She wrote: “Great to see Mr @SarahBrownUK – (AKA #hewhoshouldstillbeinDowniпgSt) – on Twitter today to expose #Burma horrors. Check it out :)”

    Note the, “he who should still be in Downing Street” Fucking stupid bitch. I hope it keeps her awake пights

  18. 18
    Gombeen says:

    OT
    Frightening but accurate. Ireland today, Britain tomorrow?

    http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/opinion/2010/1108/1224282865400.html

  19. 19
    sarah beards twatterers says:

    Millions even.

  20. 20
    misterned says:

    Nope, MOSSAD is less Zionist than Guido. You can find real criticism of Israel and Israeli politics in the Israeli media, and from MOSSAD spooks, certainly more than you will find written by Guido.

  21. 21
    The New Statesman says:

    James Macintyre is political correspondent for the New Statesman.

    http://www.newstatesman.com/writers/james_macintyre

  22. 22

    Guido writes the lines for Mossad.

  23. 23
    Derek Draper says:

    You’re not so cocky now that you’ve got Ann Widdecombe.

  24. 24
    Ed says:

    Fantastic comments on there. Sounds like some of the Irish are finally waking up to the disaster befalling them.

  25. 25
    lmao says:

    More pizza for the IDF baby-killers?

  26. 26
    Albi Here says:

    They sprayed the banks with public money,instead of letting some of them crash,it would have hurt for a while but at the time their was enough public money available to help recover quicker, now I think all bets are off,time to worry.

  27. 27
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Fair play then :)

  28. 28
    barefootcontessa says:

    What’s that all about? Rather read about Strictly than have to endure a rant about another bestial newlabour calamity. They should all be sent into the wilderness, and for more than 40 days.

    Re Strictly, see ‘ tolpuddle martyr’.

  29. 29
    another closet leftie exposes himself says:

    For those of you muppets still enamoured with Rory Stewart:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/conservative/8116621/Conservative-MP-pretty-sure-hes-a-Tory.html

  30. 30
    Stepney says:

    Oh what joy. Certainly the worst political journalist in decades. His drivel was either badly written, derivative or just so completely devoid of any grounding in reality it was risible.

    I know the good old Staggers has had its problems over the years but by God he has been one of the biggest.

    I can’t help imagine him being a war correspondent walking ashore on D-Day (+5 naturally) and then subsequently losing his typewriter, filing someone else’s already discredited report and calling the war for Hitler.

    I’m not sure what the future holds for the man, who is to journalism what G. Brown was to good housekeeping.

    I would suggest becoming a fisherman – anything is fact that does not rely on the veracity of the written word.

  31. 31
    Guilty as Charged says:

    Phil Woolas loses first part of legal battle against Commons expulsion Judge rules applying for judicial review is not correct legal course

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010/nov/08/phil-woolas-loses-first-part-legal-battle

  32. 32
    C Scipio Africanus says:

    “…. camels back …. ”

    Excusez moi, Senor Guido

    ScHocking !!!

    Ladies, children and incisive animals visit this Blogge eruditissimum

    ….. they will be dismayed by the abandonment of the “… ‘ ….”

    Schocking

  33. 33
    JCB says:

    Fianna Fail, Fine Gael, Greens, Labour, Shinnors: corrupt, lying, thieving, incompetent scumbags the lot of ‘em.

    Fianna Fail the worst of the lot though but the Irish kept electing ‘em from that crook De Valera, through Charlie Haughey to Bertie Ahern and now Cowan.

    No wonder Ireland’s a banana republic going down the pan fast.

    BTW great article from Kelly in the Irish Times there!

  34. 34
    Martin Day says:

    BBC news: Cameron in major China trip.

    And I suppose we. As the tax payer will end up paying for any fucking breakages?

  35. 35
    Gerry Mandering says:

    This was covered 2 years ago along with its twin -credit card default. Apart for sticking fingers in our ears for all this time, Saint Vince is now in China complaining they save too much – and the Germans and the Japanese.

    Stop spending what you don’t have and it wont be an issue.

  36. 36
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Who is paying his legal fees ?

  37. 37
    Unsworth says:

    What fucking ‘overwhelming support’? About three people – and that (predictably) includes Prescott, La Bercow and Bevanited Ellie? Fucking stroll on. No wonder they lost the election.

    As to ‘kind welcome’, he’s lucky he wasn’t out on the streets. I’d have ‘welcomed’ him in a very big way, the mendacious Scotch bastard.

    Don’t think Bottler will make too much of a habit of this.

  38. 38
    Derek says:

    Anyway Guido. Just how did you come to get those emails?

  39. 39
    Engineer says:

    We, as taxpayers, are already footing the bill for an economy broken during the last thirteen years. When that bill is settled, you can squark about Cameron’s efforts to improve out exporting prospects (however forlorn those prospect appear, at least he’s trying, or appearing to try). In the meantime, shut up and pay your taxes – you owe us. Big time.

  40. 40
    first groan of the week says:

    ….or the mescaline

  41. 41
    Tapestry says:

    Lord James says Foundation X is offering billions of free money to Osborne, on Sky TV.

    http://the-tap.blogspot.com/2010/11/foundation-x-is-prince-charles.html

  42. 42
    Sarah says:

    To all of you asking if I can get GB back here on Twitter – I shall find out and report back – he can certainly have guest spots here again

    http://twitter.com/SarahBrownUK

  43. 43
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    He squirms like a maggot in the sunlight that’s just fallen from liebours rotting corpse.

  44. 44
    Unsworth says:

    This clown has launched a public appeal for about £200k to cover his legal expenses arising from the Appeal. The Parteh has obviously decided he’s spent enough of their cash on legal fees already and have now cut him loose. Steel and Shamash must be laughing all the way, but they’re unlikely to extract any more gelt from this project. Wonder what Gillian Duffy thinks of all this splurging of her subs?

  45. 45
    Larry Plopper says:

    Maybe he’d fit right in at Warner Bros?

  46. 46
    Unsworth says:

    Who is this ‘all of you’? And what are ‘guest spots’? Anyway, do we really need to know any more about Brown’s dermatological difficulties?

  47. 47
    Ed schlomo millibandwagon says:

    Master macintyres hath my full thupport!!! sniff

  48. 48
    Albi Here says:

    I suppose the same breakages rules will apply to all the Nokia’s your mate the twatter nonentitiy broke.

  49. 49
    Anonymous says:

    Brilliant article.If Blair had had his way and taken us into the euro,it would be much the same here.Brown’s best(only?)achievement.

  50. 50
    Red on Red says:

    The Labour party are ganging up on him. Yesterday Harman made a last minute appearance on Marr to stick the knife in him and Red Ken has just done the same on the Daily Politics. With people like that attacking him, perhaps Woolas is not so bad after all.

  51. 51
    Gordon Brown, sinking gently into mental illness says:

    I will ring Mr Macintyre forthwith to convey my sorrow at his forced departure form such a fine organ

  52. 52
    concrete pump says:

    I’ll bet 20 Bensons and a 4 pack of Staropramen that Macintyre applies for a ‘job’ at the bbc.

  53. 53
    Up sh1t creek says:

    Labour do nothing wrong – ever, just like Phil Woolas… even the Speakers wife says Phil is a good guy really.

  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    I’ll rip you a new arsehole if you like.

  55. 55
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Ok , if he is a bullshiter , can we take the email that said ” I did not have sex with Dolly ” to mean that he did have sex with Dolly ?

  56. 56
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Who? I haven’t read the NS since Anthony Howard was editor.

  57. 57
    white city says:

    He could use Guidos summary of his career so far as his CV. He’d be a fucking shoe in.

  58. 58
    Jimmy says:

    “Guido has had some hilarious run ins, such as the time young James accused him of working for the Intelligence Services. Guido was particularly proud of of his put down.”

    What on earth gave him the idea that you had anything to do with intelligence?

  59. 59
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    The magnanimity of Mr Fawkes is well known.

  60. 60
    This is the future, folks says:

    Get an allotment, and/or a large garden. You’re going to have to live off what you grow.
    Live in a flat with no land? Goodbye.

  61. 61
    Bottoms Up says:

    probably we are

    only MPs get legal aid in this country now

  62. 62
    Rentaquote says:

    Military intelligence has the same relationship with real intelligence as military music has with real music.

  63. 63
    Bottoms Up says:

    you’re cute, Jimmy, really cute

  64. 64
    jimmy james says:

    Hoorah! Jimmy has turned up to make us all look good.

  65. 65
    Anton says:

    I make your wife dress up as her.

  66. 66
    smoggie says:

    Wetherspoons or McDonalds.

  67. 67
    lolol says:

    guido might be a wanker, but at least he’s our wanker!

  68. 68
    smoggie says:

    no relation ;p

  69. 69
    polly plastic says:

    Perhaps he meant he did not have sex with a dolly? Yeah right.

  70. 70
    concrete pump says:

    Well that wasn’t very imaginative, Jimmy.

  71. 71
    Chris Huhne says:

    Knock knock.

    “Who’s there?”

    Knock Knock.

    “Who’s there?”

    Knock Knock.

    “WHO THE FUCKING HELL IS IT?”

    “Would you like to make a donation to the Deaf Society?”

  72. 72
    Bottoms Up says:

    and here’s some evidence to prove it

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/nov/08/legal-aid-anti-epilepsy-drug

    we are not a democracy anymore. we are an authoritarian/ fascist regime being recreated in its own likeness since the war (1939-45)

  73. 73
    Anonymous says:

    Billy rolls over to have his belly tickled, cue music.

  74. 74
    smoggie says:

    Shouldn’t you be typing up your CV?

  75. 75
    David Cameron says:

    I am here to reclaim Hong Kong.

  76. 76
    Albi Here says:

    Just listening to Omaha on tv ,I think he doesn’t expect to be returned as US President in two years and is pissing up what’s left of the US taxpayers money onto the back wall of the blackhole,called world charity.

  77. 77
    no longer anonymous says:

    Old news. Blatant hoax.

  78. 78
    interior designer, nud says:

    Some of us look forward to Jimmy’s witless comments, they make a nice contrast to the rest of the blog.

  79. 79
    BBC News says:

    Today we’ll be talking about and showing President Obama all day long as there is no other news to show you. Besides, those tea bagging bastards have wounded him and we need to get all gushy and dance around him and rise him up to the level of a demi-god again as we did before in 2008/2009.

    Obama for 2012!
    Obama for 2012!
    Obama for 2012, the second coming!

  80. 80
    Tapestry says:

    If a blatant hoax, why is there not something blatant to report about it to prove that it is such? The world’s central banks operate in relative secrecy. There might well be an attempt being made to impose an effective round of quantitiv easing on Britain from that quarter.

    They are scared shitless the Euro is close to collapse, and are using any trick in the book to boost confidence before the crisis strikes home. If this round of QE does come about, you might then review your opinion that this was a hoax.

  81. 81
    streamfisher says:

    Deja vu, Obama gets down with Brown, big mistake.

  82. 82
    Enjineer says:

    Nah. What’s the point of Kosher pizza. Just as bad as non-alcoholic beer and decaffinated coffee.

    I lobby my democratic representative to send them more 5.56

  83. 83
    Austrian says:

    Tapestry’s back banging on again about the Euro collapsing. Same old blinkered bullshit.

    The troubles of Ireland, Portugal and Greece are insignificant in the whole scheme of things and nothing that a few years of well-deserved austerity won’t solve. The wasters in those countries deserve nothing less after their years of profligacy and recklessness.

    No, it’s the US and UK who are really and truly fucked and all the QE in the world won’t save them but just make matters even worse.

    Krugman, Blanchflower and the rest should be strung up by their balls.

  84. 84
    Horse bolted, stable door, says:

    FFS, So Gordon Brown wants to save Burma! Too little too late. He has wrecked our lives and now he is starting on Burma. Poor sods.

  85. 85
    bergen says:

    I only used to read it for dear old Arthur Marshall’s column and the poetry competition at the back.It’s really desperately poor now.

  86. 86
    Tapestry says:

    I suspect the blinkers are in fact placed over the eyes of those who think they can save the Euro.

  87. 87
    concrete cunt says:

    seconded

    what a tat pump is

  88. 88
    rotflmao!!!!! says:

    Fancy James Macintyre coming on here and posting shite under the name ‘Jimmy’!

    Wot a tosser!! LOL

  89. 89
    Sir William Waad says:

    Fine Gael are descended from the Blueshirts, Ireland’s pre-war Fascist party. Hence their name, which means “The Irish Race” – ethnic purity and all that guff.

  90. 90
    Ed says:

    Brown couldn’t give a shit about Burma all those years he was in power as chancellor and then PM, so why should anyone believe he gives a shit now?

  91. 91
    Glen Miliband says:

    Orange tory claims his party has scrapped tuition fees for 54.2% of students….and he belives it…http://redrag1.blogspot.com/2010/11/red-rag-has-orange-tory-mp-john-hemming.html

  92. 92
    P. Doff says:

    His dick is probably the size of a USB key so he doesn’t have much choice!

  93. 93
    tapestry knows nowt says:

    I remember Tapestry going round various blogs inc. this one and pb.com, back in 2007/08 declaring that there was going to be no recession and that the western economies, inc the UK, were basically sound.

    ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!

  94. 94
    Anonymus says:

    The Euro will be completely safe.

    Once they’ve got rid of Greece, spain,italy, ireland, portugal, and france. Not too sure about belgium and netherlands.

  95. 95
    Sir William Waad says:

    The odd thing is that Macintyre comes over so much better as a stand-up comic, on the telly. He should stick to that. His jokes are of such high quality, for instance “I’m glad Carol Vorderman has left Countdown, I mean it’s not like she did much. She was effectively just an autistic shelf-stacker.” Comedy gold! His Mum must be so proud!

  96. 96
    Sir William Waad says:

    He meant Dolly the Sheep.

  97. 97
    Gordon Brown, sinking gently into mental illness says:

    I will make a statement about Mr Macintyre in the house forthwith

  98. 98
    Sir William Waad says:

    Look, if somebody tells you that there a pink penguins on Jupiter, you ask them for some evidence for this assertion. You don’t say “Hmm, there is no positive, conclusive evidence that there are no pink penguins on Jupiter, therefore there probably are and, what’s more, Bilderberg, Mossad and al-Qaeda meet them regularly for recruiting purposes.”

  99. 99
    torieboy says:

    just another Marxist Tristram

  100. 100
    Stephen Pound, Low IQ, preening, waffling, gobshyte MP and bus driving cunt says:

    Well said Sir!

    And you can count on my full thupport too, you know than dont you?

  101. 101
    Anonymous says:

    Jimmy is SO Labour and SO last century.

  102. 102
    My Ding a Ling says:

    USB bluetooth dongles come very small these days.

  103. 103
    concrete pump says:

    He should team up with Limpdick Optic. They could be the funniest thing since the ‘Chuckle Brothers’.

  104. 104
    James Cameron says:

    I’m here to film the remake of King Kong.

  105. 105
    Thick says:

    Call me thick but why is Red Ed getting two weeks off work?

  106. 106
    Anonymus says:

    Funny that. I had a drunken dream where anne widdicombe had a scraggy beard, spoke with a slightly nasally manc+sheffield accent, and was in my room at labour conference. Funny that, I woke up nude and sore, with a dead goldfish in my bed.

  107. 107
    Gordon's wasted years says:

    When he had a chance to do something useful for the Burmese, he didn’t and now he is a nobody homeworker he thinks a few Tweets will bring the government down. He’s bonkers.

  108. 108
    Tapestry says:

    Pink Penguins on Jupiter? There are hundreds of them. This is where the world’s central banks hide all the money, which they are now wanting to lend to George Osborne to fund Quantitative Easing and ask him to launch huge infrastructure spending. Or maybe they keep the money on earth at the Bank Of International Settlements in Switzerland.

    BTW (TKN) – I have been tracking the folly of the Euro since 1999, when we chatted in the FT Euro thread. I’ve consistently hammered the currency online since it was launched.

  109. 109
    Rod says:

    There’s nothing wrong with ethnic purity when it comes to your friends in Israel though, is there?

  110. 110
    Gdoron Bworn says:

    Today I will mostly be a Cassia renigera.

  111. 111
    Steve Miliband says:

    Too right wing

  112. 112
    $ £ says:

    Poor old Euro.

  113. 113
    Steve Miliband says:

    He wants to raise his profile

  114. 114
    JK says:

    Tapestry: “I’ve consistently hammered the currency (the Euro) online since it was launched.”

    And in that time, the only currencies ‘hammered’ were the dollar and sterling, while the Euro’s gone from strength to strength.

    I’m glad I didn’t take financial advice from you, Tapestry!

    LMAO!

  115. 115
    Gillian Duffy the McTurd Slayer says:

    You are joking!

  116. 116
    Mr Plum says:

    Because seven days makes a hole weak

  117. 117
    lutta continua!! says:

    I see another little Miliband bastard has popped out.
    Grandad Ralph will be looking up from the pit smiling.

  118. 118
    streamfisher says:

    Gordon’s had six months off with an ectopic pregnancy.

  119. 119
    Mehdi Hassan says:

    Allahu cackbar.

  120. 120
    Anonymous says:

    I think the “all of you” are the millions of folk who want to let the coniving,immature,pension thieving bastard know what they think of him.

  121. 121
    Roy Harper says:

    Bullinamingvase

  122. 122
    Tapestry says:

    Euro about to tank….

    http://www.mrci.com/pdf/eu.pdf

    Down from 1.42 last week to 1.39 today. The $ collapse story might have been overplayed.

  123. 123
    lmao says:

    Chavs churning out bastards, just another day in broken Britain.

  124. 124
    streamfisher says:

  125. 125
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Even Britains Biggest Cokeusers are reporting it properly now so that’s the final confirmation he’s no longer part of liebour.

  126. 126
    Di Anne Fat Butt says:

    I DID win the leadership. It was a fix. They’re all ray cist. I’m off to have a bucket of jerk chickaan.

  127. 127
    Running Scared says:

    So he can be with his wife? No it can’t be that, he hasn’t got one.

    Because he needs to recover from being pregnant? No can’t be that either as his girlfriend did the Labouring bit.

    So he can be with with his baby? Can’t be that either as he lives and works in London, can go home from work whenever he likes without clocking off and doesn’t work Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays anyway.

    Perhaps he’s running scared of being Labour Leader?

  128. 128
    13eastie says:

    The Deutchmark will be completely safe.

    Once they’ve got rid of Greece, spain,italy, ireland, portugal, and france.

    FIXED

  129. 129
    Albi Here says:

    Ot see theyv’e had snow on the Cat and Fiddle route to Sheffield,this Global warming is getting bad,just think it’s only the beginning of November and we have snow already.

  130. 130
    GrimeLord says:

    I see from the screen shot ID is looking at Sally’s baps. An who wouldn’t?

  131. 131
    Lenny Sheenburger says:

    anti-semite!!!!!

  132. 132
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Why won’t someone investigate Ed Balls election “win” now we have the momentum following the tampon fiddlers demise?

  133. 133
    sycophant says:

    Taxi for Ms Abbott!

  134. 134
    Albi Here says:

    I presume as he already gets taxpayers money,he won’t need a council house.

  135. 135
    JB says:

    Because it’s already obvious that he’s not up to the job.

  136. 136
    Lil Olmey says:

    But there ARE pink penguins in Jupiter, Sir Bill – google it.
    Or was that a sneaky plug for your Florida operation ?

  137. 137
    Gonk says:

    Don’t be ridiculous, he’s got a horse.

  138. 138
    Jed says:

    If they poke him a few times to wind him up, he’ll get diagnosed with “ADHD” and they’ll be able to claim carers allowance of over £150 a week.

    All the chavs do it, innit.

  139. 139
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Better than looking at her face

  140. 140
    Anonymous says:

    Saw that too. Cracking pair. But doesn’t he bat for the other side ?

  141. 141
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m available to take his place. Got nothing to do these days except collect my MP’s salary and throw phones at women.

  142. 142
    GrimeLord says:

    Correct, it’s her legs! Something for every one!

    Sally Bercow, my body is a temple – Everybody welcome!!!

  143. 143
    The real face of Mehdi Hasan says:

  144. 144
    umma gumma says:

    Everywhere you look, these fuckers are worming their way in.

  145. 145
    Anonymous says:

    Not your fault that your full of shit, Tap. But do you have to diarrhea all over the blogosphere ?

  146. 146
  147. 147
    Sarah Macauley says:

    Please rescue me. I can’t take it anymore. The tantrums, the violence, the threats, the paranoia. He’s absolutely barking.

  148. 148
    Airey Belvoir says:

    I did not realise that Gordon Brown was interested in elections, having ducked one he might have won and secured his job by ducking, diving and bullying MP’s to become PM on the nod. In fact, he has more in common with the Burmese Generals than the saintly Aung.

  149. 149
    nell says:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010/nov/07/phil-woolas-labour-harriet-harman

    Talking of people who are pushed before they can jump. Labour, namely hattieharpic, were indecently quick in pushing philw out of the labour fold once the court had found him guilty.

    Interesting that sallybercow is pleading with her husband to not call a by-election yet in order to giving the lyingphil a chance to redeem himself.

    Funny lot this labour tribe.

  150. 150
    Phil Woolas says:

    Have mercy. I only did what Gordon told me to do.

  151. 151
    Oldie but rusty says:

    Knock knock.
    Who’s there?The Avon Lady. Your bell’s busted.

  152. 152
    Aynonynomouse says:

    Was that not always the plan?
    When Germany were winning WW2, they drew up plans for the future Europe they intended to rule. Britain was to be de-industialised and turned over to farming and tourism, this was to be organised by a Quisling style administration, that could deflect popular unrest away from Germany. Good job that never happened…..oh wait…

  153. 153
  154. 154
    Ed says:

    You’ve been a very naughty boy Philip.You’ve let down your party;you’ve let down you constituents:you’ve let down yourself and more importantly you’ve let down ME and whilst I can forgive the rest THAT is something that I cannot forgive

  155. 155
    Just Wondering says:

    Ever been to Saudi Arabia?

  156. 156
    Backwoodsman says:

    Yeah, they could get the Doctor who certified jack dromey as eligible for an all wimmin short list to do it. He obviously knows his stuff & is impartial.

  157. 157
    sunday morning shagger says:

    Agree about Davros Harman. Saw her blathering away on wing nut’s AM prog and nearly came too early.
    These spineless socialist types always rely on court judgements, inquiries etc. to define their ‘moral’ stance for them.
    They NEVER stick their necks out and do the honest, common-sense or RIGHT thing without some higher power giving them the bean-bag to break their fall.

  158. 158
    Just as I thought it was going all right says:

    I found out I’m wrong
    When I thought I was right
    It’s always the same
    It’s just a shame
    That’s all

  159. 159
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Aren’t all jocks?

  160. 160
    Gordon Nutter says:

    Behold the power of my TWEETS!!

  161. 161
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Don’t worry, Cameron’s got this covered, he’s just put an order in for Australian salt, should be here in about six weeks time. What do you mean winter comes every year?

  162. 162
    Gor"dunn" Brown says:

    It was the wright thing to do.

  163. 163
    J Bercow says:

    Sally is on Have I Got News for You this week for those of you who wish to check whether she will have a poppy on her baps!

  164. 164
    Mick says:

    Wrong Mcintyre?

  165. 165
    Stolen from ye daily mail says:

    Get on with the housekeeping Mrs and leave politics to the elected.

    – Mike, Cornwall, 08/11/2010 09:10

  166. 166
    smoggie says:

    He only comes on when he’s sizzled.

    …. i.e. frequently.

  167. 167
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:

    SQUARRRRKKK!!! (flutter) (ping) JIMMYJIMMY! (cuttle) TWAT!

  168. 168
    Mr Slater says:

    I’d just like to point out that my Parrot thinks Jimmy’s a twat, not you, Mr Interior. He loves the Cramps, whatever they are.

  169. 169
    Tell it like it really is says:

    Stepney – when you suggest “fisherman” I trust you mean standing or sitting by a lake or river with a rod. To go fishing at sea – hilaious – you need courage, stamina, strength, and it’s the most dangerous of occupations. Him – fishing – all he-s good for is pot bait, slung over the side with the wighted pot. Come to think of it………

  170. 170
    Tell it like it really is says:

    One of Trevs crew is the leading light of “black vote” – paid for by guess who – Yes, us again.

  171. 171
    No, -I'm- Guido Fawkes says:

    Ian Duncan-Smith gave up using the ‘long S’ in his surname, ages ago. And, whilst welcoming the gifts of pizza, does not accept your summary of the effect of his changes to Benefits policy.

  172. 172
    d r u n k d r i v i n g watch says:

    he was fired for being a pisshead

    no wonder you took so long off at the weekend

  173. 173
    d r u n k d r i v i n g watch says:

    have the police caught him yet?

    that must be terrible mustn’t it fawkesy?

  174. 174
    How about rejoining EFTA? says:

    This, again, ought to be an open goal for the party in government.

    Their ‘welcome to your new job’ card read, winningly, “There’s no money left – good luck” The man whose government they defeated clumped off to spend more time with his block-capital manuscript far, far away from Westminster’s media village.

    For months, the opposition was a vacuum (fittingly, as it had a caretaker leader: thick as mince and a partisan of narrow tribalisms). The leader whom they eventually gifted themselves probably lived under the shadow of an older brother all his life.

    He never expected to win; his wife was due to provide him with all the distraction which he wanted just after David’s anticipated coronation. Instead – he had two stinking and screaming attention-seeking bundles to contend with.

    Hague put in a surefooted performance on Marr. IDS is wrestling the welfare monster. Repairing our relations with India and China is rightly CMD’s priority..

  175. 175
    Hamish says:

    Great headline Guido. Methinks you’re back on form.

  176. 176
    Jabba the Cat says:

    Mehdi Hasan is a particularly odious creature.

  177. 177
    Tapestry says:

    Thanks for your understanding. The existence of pink penguins on Jupiter is no joke. And neither is the involvement of Prince Charles in directing the efforts of One World Government towards environmental barmy causes, and using the monies in the possession of central bankers to prop up his lackeys Cameron and Osborne.

    The EU is holed beneath the water line, and riddled with corruption from top to bottom, making it very difficult for Prince Charles and his OWG buddies like the Rothschilds to do much to save it.

    If you don’t like reading this stuff, why are you reading it?


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Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
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Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath


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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


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