October 17th, 2010

Will the Spending Review Spark a Resignation?

This Wednesday sees the Spending Review, when we discover where unfunded over-spending will stop. We are told that some ministers still have not agreed a budget. Vince Cable at Business, Michael Gove at Education, Theresa May at the Home Office, Ken Clarke at Justice and IDS at Work and Pensions – though he is said to be close to doing a deal with the Treasury.

It is barely conceivable that Gove would resign – he is a core member of the Cameron project and education is where the government intends to have made a reforming impact before the 2015 election. So no matter what he’ll still be in office on Thursday. Theresa May has the professional politician’s ability to accept and argue her brief no matter what – she is not one for political heroism – so expect her to remain facing Balls across the dispatch box for now. IDS has reportedly got most of what he wanted, he has a habit of threatening to resign more often than Mrs Fawkes threatens divorce. Unless Osborne double-crosses him at the last moment, IDS will stay put.

That leaves Ken Clarke at Justice, the bookies give him a 5% chance of being the next to resign, he could make a glorious end of career stand. He would go without much acclaim, the Treasury has run a successful briefing operation against him and Crispin Blunt, painting the liberal Justice team as soft on criminals and wanting more money for better meals for prisoners. Guido thinks it only worth a flutter if you like 20/1 long shots…

Vince Cable, is once again the bookies favourite to resign next – replacing Liam Fox who has successfully played his defence budget cards. In truth this is Vince’s last chance to exit the government with honour. As it is he permanently looks like he has swallowed a bee, if he wants to save his “progressive” reputation this is the rubicon, after he accepts the policies that derive from the terms of the Spending Review he can’t later turn back. A big decision, he is a vain old man, he’ll probably never have another chance to be in government. Is he really that principled?

Guido thinks there is a good chance that a LibDem lower down the juniour ministerial ranks will seek to make a name for themselves and lay down a marker for the future.  Smarkets have a bet on any government minister, at any level, resigning on Wednesday. Currently punters give it a 15% (11/2) probability. That looks worth a few quid…


  1. 1
    Dack Blog says:

    Well if they keep ruling out budgets to be cut… at this rate I imagine those that are left will be facing cuts of 100%. That might piss a minister off.

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    Hope so, the whole lot of them.

  3. 3
    GeeGee3374 says:

    I know one of the junior Lib Dems is furious about the benefit cuts and if it is as bad as expected that one will go. So the any minister bet maybe worth a pound or two

  4. 4
    Backwoodsman says:

    Morning Fawkes, late night celebrating the Munster result, was it ?
    How about a table highlighting how much the tax payer has saved from the ending of various labour insiders quango careers ? There must have been hundreds of the fuckers on six figure bungs.

  5. 5
    Albi Here says:

    Principle and resignations don’t sit well together with power hungry politician’s,will the Spending Review trigger a resignation, my answer to that is, will it hell.

  6. 6
    Brenda says:

    Don’t be so dismissive of divorce threats Guido….

  7. 7
    A Government Minister says:

    “Will the Spending Review Spark a Resignation?”

    Don’t be silly. Just take a look at what a government minister gets paid plus perks, then take a look at what an MP gets paid.

  8. 8
    Read my lips...."No student fees rise if the LibDems are in government...THAT is a promise!! says:

    Bit too late for resignations from LibDems ….. as a party they are totally f***ed at the next election. They’ve pissed off their “core vote” who will find Ed’s Labour Party increasingly to their taste(?) as the cuts start to bite.
    One or two of their present MPs may retain some credability but the majority including Vince have lost it along with the probability of also losing their seat at the 2015 election

  9. 9
    Engineer says:

    It seems unlikely. Any minister resigning because they say cuts are too deep risks being labelled a deficit denier. Besides, as we know, the cuts are to forward spending plans, not in current expenditure, which will rise in cash terms. I’m sure all ministers are being subtly pressed by their department’s senior civil servants to minimise reductions in budget, but suspect that most politicians recognise that their long-term reputations and career interests are probably best served by being seen to do the right thing for the country.

  10. 10
    New faces but same old same says:

    Announced wedneday you say?

    How come we know most of it now? Weren’t the Tories and Liberals always complaining about Labour briefing the press before Parliament?

  11. 11
    literate pedant says:

    huhne has to divorce himslef from the colation at some point if he is to keep his seat……..announcements of nuclear stations floating around the media, and his ‘not lashed to the mast’ toe-dipping, may give him enough room to announce he is spending more time with arthur or martha…….

  12. 12
    Easy decisions says:

    Looks like you lifted this from a much better article in Fridays Guardian. Never had you down as a guardian reader but then its easier than research eh :)

  13. 13
    Wigging out in Hereford says:

    Bill should resign, purely because he’s an obnoxious troughing Hunt.

  14. 14
    Huhne is a Hoon says:

    Can’t understand why he is going to cancel the Severn Barrage. As long as there is a Sun and A Moon The tide will fill and empty the Severn estuary twice a day for eternity, by which time the Birds and fishes would have got used to it. The same can not be said for his windmills

  15. 15
    Google is your friend says:

    Bit late for Vince Cable, the Labour shadow cabinet has been formed

  16. 16

    Camerons i hope !

  17. 17
    Tory Voter says:

    I wish that one sat at the front right of the picture would.

  18. 18

    Bollocks. Didn’t read it. The undetermined departments are the undetermined departments. The subject matter is the same because it is a matter of fact. If they made similar predictions Guido wasn’t aware.

  19. 19

    There is always that.

  20. 20
    Puzzled Of Chippenham says:

    WTF do they allow Nigerians to sit on the boards of international Sports bodies if they don’t want corruption?

  21. 21
    Anonymous says:

    Well said – what cuts? Like with Mrs T – there are no net cuts – only reductions in forward, unfunded additional spend spending plans.

    The real cuts come next year – and he has spared the Army so it is ready to help put down the riots after the police go on strike.

  22. 22
    Taxfodder says:

    Bottom Line…

    Lib Dems in government = Died and gone to heaven (may huff and puff but little more).

    Lib Dems not in government = Many fingers hover over on the button of mutual destruction.

    All Tories = Hamstrung by the un-elected coalition.

    New Lab = Busted Flush

  23. 23
    Bob says:


    Looking at your photo of the cabinet squashed in around the table makes me think

    Cant’ the British Government find a decent sized room and a large enough table for all these people…? They look like a bunch of bookies crowded around a table waiting for a race result…

    How about the Banqueting Hall across the road ?

  24. 24
    Ed Balls says:

    Yes I did read it.

  25. 25
    Up sh1t creek says:

    _I_ am resigned to it that the cuts will not go far enough, the social security budget is out of control and must be cut back. Scrap COMPLETELY child benefit for a start. Why should single people pay for others to have children? You can’t afford it, don’t have children.

    What the hell is it with the UK where people are happy to offload their life choices onto others to pay for it.

  26. 26
    Jack says:

    So what ?

  27. 27
    Batty Hattie Harmanescu says:

    Agree, but given events of recent years in this country, with its squalid and corrupt political system, are we in a position to lecture anyone on the evils of corruption.

  28. 28
    P. Doff says:

    The tea and coffee probably costs too much.

  29. 29

    Am I the only one here who finds Sayeeda Warsi quite a foxy little minx?

  30. 30
    Baroness Udders of DoubleDeeCup, sucking on the Great Sosherlyst Tit says:

    Doesn’t worry me.

    I always know where the next lot of dosh is coming from.

    And it wasn’t my fault I got caught the first time.

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    Why stop at child benefit?

    Scrap education. Turn it over to the private sector. If you can’t afford to educate your children then don’t have them.

    Scrap the NHS. If you can’t afford private health care then you don’t deserve to live.

  32. 32
    Piano Maker says:

    I’ve got plenty of piano wire if anyone knows of a use for it.

  33. 33
    Educashun, Educashun, Educashun says:

    Guido thinks there is a good chance that a LibDem lower down the juniour junior ministerial ranks…

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    All mouth and no trousers.

  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    Steady on now. What you have to understand about windmills is that they are a nice little earner for farmers and land owners. Lovely, lovely guaranteed income for doing nothing, bit like farming subsidies, and all paid for by the great British public. Isn’t free enterprise wonderful!

  36. 36
    Fluffy Thoughts says:

    I seen the Army, but who are these Police of which ye speak…?

  37. 37
    Dr Yagugooo Mbongobongoba says:

    Good day to you my beloved,

    I am Dr Yagugooo Mbongobongoba from the First National B*ank of Nigeria. My client has died of a mystery illness and has left $145,000,888,098,000 in a private b*ank a*ccount. I would like you to have it.

    Please forward me your passport and c*redit card and I shall see to it that your b*ank a*ccount is stuffed with reddies.


  38. 38
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    What are Smarkets offering on Mrs Fawkes filing papers, I wonder?

  39. 39
    Weekend Gardening tips – with Madge Bucket says:

    If you’re anything like me, untidy straggly ends will have grown over the summer.

    Now’s the time to trim them up, and leave everything spick and span ready for the new growth in Spring.

  40. 40

    Hmmm..right up my strasse

  41. 41
    Can't remember my moniker says:


  42. 42
    JB says:

    Multiculturalism in Germany has ‘utterly failed’, claims Chancellor Angela Merkel


    It’s far worse in the UK!

  43. 43
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    And what will you do with your asparagus?

  44. 44
    lmao says:

    It’s called a typo you pathetic pedantic turd.

  45. 45
    Firm but fair says:

    We can only dream of those days, no one will ever make it happen

  46. 46
    TJG says:

    She’s part of the muzlim fifth-column you brainwashed moron.

  47. 47
    The Silent Majority says:

    Yes you are.

  48. 48
    The Right Time says:

    Isn’t now the ideal time to send the Northern Irish Catholics,South? We can pay them to leave,after they sign a pledge acknowledging the North as part of Britain and that they and their descendants will never return and pay the Irish Republic to receive them and also sign that the North is Britain.

  49. 49
    The Labour Disease says:

    Ideological right wing tosh. Multiculturalism is a great success here in the UK. The future’s brown. Ask Gordon.

  50. 50
    TJG says:

    You’re either a dhimmi or one of the alien hordes. Which is it?

  51. 51
    Weekend DIY tips – with John of Hull says:

    Mockerised Tudoral Beamage can problematise you by going off lusterised and greenishly looking downcasted not like them genuine ones the Tory twats ‘av.

    So get the boy wot polishes your Jag up a ladder and polish ‘em up nice wiv car waxipolish looks a treat they do when the plastic comes up all shiney.

    Phwooar!! Look at that going past! I’ve just seen apairobumpers that could do wiv buffing!!

    Fancy chips later?

  52. 52
    Peckham mazzive says:

    Iz great ere in Peckham juz lak back in Mogadishu innit blood.

  53. 53
    Denis MacShane-Matijazek-Khazar says:

    The futures ours.

  54. 54
    to all politicians says:

    You’re shit and you know you are. Vengeance is a dish best served cold.

  55. 55
    geoff says:

    that Hunt Polly Toynbee’s wretched, thieving husband for starters

  56. 56
    pie marketing board says:

    You’re fired.

  57. 57
    You may laugh but wait and see..... says:

    There needs to be cuts in population never mind anything else, hear on the grapevine their is a new generation of robots being made.

    Who needs humans to do the job when a robot can do it for free.

  58. 58
    JCB says:

    Are you planning something or are you just another internet gobshite?

  59. 59
    geoff says:

    it’s high time farming was privatised fully

  60. 60
    geoff says:

    that fucking multi-millionaire Hunt vince cable being all socialist and ‘lets give money to the poor’ now he’s made some.

  61. 61

    I think Andrew Marr has a point!

  62. 62
    South of the M4 says:

    Better idea. Have less Ministers. Then they will fit.

  63. 63
    Anonymous says:

    It’s pretty clear that there is simply not enough room for all of the people in the government to sit comfortably at the Cabinet Table. A point your photograph graphically illustrates.

    I would like to offer a modest proposal to solve the problem and in the process, the country’s financial problems.

    Have only enough chairs to seat all of the cabinet except one. The prime minister should start a tape recorder whilst all of the cabinet member walk slowly around the table. When Mr Cameron switches the music off, everyone has to find a chair. All but one will be seated. This unfortunate, is dismissed from his/her post and their department and budget scrapped.

    Keep the process going until the number around the table is more in line with the size of this man’s cabinet:


    who managed to run the entire US government with only 10 men in his cabinet.

  64. 64
    EU CAP Commissioner says:

    Won’t never happen as long as there is an EU and we are in it.

  65. 65
    South of the M4 says:

    Britain does not have a multi-cultural society. It has a society of non-integrated multi cultures.

  66. 66
    Nick Clegg says:

    I’m backing myself to quit the Cabinet

    So much for “We’re all in this together “

  67. 67

    Seems reasonable.

  68. 68
    to all politicians says:

    Hear hear.

    You really are all shits and in it together.

    1. Last week faux indignation of all concerned with the proposed defence cuts.

    2. The BBC ‘understands’ what the figures are, cue more hand wringing all round, easy fodder for the Sunday lite political programmes.

    3. Figures ‘officially released’ on Wednesday by which time everyone is sick of the whole business and any difficult decisions are considered old news now.

    Great bit of PR and spin boys – more PR big society bollocks.

    Fuck off.

  69. 69
    Doc Trough says:

    Yours is probably best measured in years of penal servitude you rodent-toothed dog’s Mickey.

  70. 70
    Dave is a Turncoat. says:

    Why did Dave make his MPs vote to increase the EU budget?

    Why is Dave sending even more of OUR money to Brussels to an organisation that every auditor has refused to sign off for over a decade?

    Dave is a HOON

  71. 71
    Batty Hattie Harmanescu says:

    Dr Yagugooo Mbongobongoba:

    Oh! is this my lucky day or what, passport and credit card to follow.

  72. 72
    Adolf says:

    Is she going to invade Poland?

  73. 73
    Denis MacShameless says:

    I’m resigning myself to be a cheating gabshite.

  74. 74
    Anonymous says:

    What a wizzard idea.

  75. 75

    Pay them all the same: then there’d be no suggestion the failure to resign was a bunce-driven one.

  76. 76
    Tory voter says:

    Dave is not very good is he?

  77. 77
    Multiculti says:

    Anyone who says that multiculturalism is not the best thing since sliced poppadoms is worse than Hitler.

  78. 78
    hoopla says:

    What Merkel really means in politico doublespeak, is that they should do more to appease the muzzbots.

  79. 79
    Windmills in the mind says:

    Don’t forget the windmill suppliers, manufacturers, engineers, service staff. What is the typical life span of a typical windmill? What is it’s carbon foot print?

    The new and improved sub prime scam appears on the horizon.

    Packaging up all those useless (but oh so very ‘green’) windmill future costs and existing sunk carbon manufacturing debits and selling them, passing them around, making money for carbon traders on crappy carbon trading floors and bugger all for everyone else including the feckers who contributed to their manufacture in the first place – you and I who pay their fucking bills.

    We’ve seen this sort of activity before. I call bullshit.

  80. 80
    P. Doff says:

    Gordon McDoom’s your best contact… he’s used to exchanging hard gold assets for Monopoly money.

  81. 81
    P. Doff says:

    LOL… For a moment I was trying to picture the Rt.Hon. Sir Trev without trousers!

  82. 82
    Oooo Dinn of Bongla Ditch says:

    Okay okay I pay back £125, 000 but I have done nothing wrong.

  83. 83
    Guardian reading brainwashed fuckwit. says:

    Lord Paul, Lord Bhatia, and Baroness Uddin have certainly enriched my life if not my bank balance.

  84. 84
    Sarah Leather says:

    Wasn’t ‘not lashed to the mast’ one of Huhne’s wedding vows?

  85. 85
    mr benefitski fraudski says:

    You need not do that, may I direct you to the child tax credits website. I and all my friends use it to build new house back in homeland.

  86. 86
    sarcastic bugger says:

    Oldham is so vibrant thanks to our dusky friends. I feel so enriched to have them living in my street and taking over my town.

  87. 87
    Errrr says:

    So we are Stalin then?

  88. 88
    Ali Diszaei says:

    Ripping off the kaffirs is good innit. It sez so in the koran and the iman reminds us every Friday.

  89. 89
    Educashun, Educashun, Educashun says:

    Look, you retard, I know it’s a fucking typo. So what? It’s hardly a two day job to correct it and the corrected form will add to the quality of the post.

    I suppose you would have preferred me to shout from the rooftops that Guido can’t spell etc.

    It’s up to him whether he wants to change it of course and it’s up to me whether I call bullshit on your comment, which I do.

    Fuck you.

  90. 90
    Cameron the Liar says:

    Piggy Bill Wiggins has still not been sacked despite Cameron’s promise to do so.

    One rule for Dave’s Eton chums and one for the rest of you Oiks.

  91. 91
    Rabbi Bluebum says:

    Too much chutzpah already, you Ashkenazis.

  92. 92
    to all politicians says:

    Said the internet gobshite.

    Nothing to hide nothing to fear!

  93. 93
    Red Star Radio 5 says:

    Are you from Channel 4 or the BBC?

  94. 94
    Cameron the Liar says:

    Guess who still hasn’t resigned despite Cameron’s promise to boot him out the door ?

  95. 95
    Cameron the EU bitch says:

    I wuv u Davey.

    William Hague.

  96. 96
    Cameron the Liar says:

    of course not. why ? are you a fucking retard ?

  97. 97
    Kill them all, burn Lab/Lib/Cons alive says:

    Yeah but don’t think we have forgotten about Labour doing it to us either for 13 years you pratt.

  98. 98
    sarcastic Yorkshireman says:

    Just the same here in Keighley. It’s reet champion having all these lovely dark fellahs bringing their vibrant culture and enriching us all an that.

  99. 99
    Anonymous says:

    You can read, Balls? You elitist!

  100. 100
    Archer Karcher says:

    Extrapolating voter intentions five years hence, based on current polling, is a mugs game. Clearly, you are one.

  101. 101
    Piggy Wiggins says:


  102. 102
  103. 103
    A Pig is a Pig is a Pig says:

    where did I say Labour Piggies should get away with it ?
    they should all be jailed

    you dickhead

  104. 104
    Carp says:

    C the L

    You’re obviously Thick Vickie Derbyshire, you Labour supporting moron. Fuck off and take your anti-Tory BBC propaganda to Comment is Free.

  105. 105
    Token says:

    She was promoted to that position purely because of her ability to do the job better than anyone else.

    No other reason at all. Honest.

  106. 106
    Cameron - heir to Blair says:

    I thought with Cameron it was the ‘real deal’ and we’re all in a ‘big society’ together. He said this only weeks ago!

    I most certainly haven’t forgotten that yet! I haven’t forgotten how eager he and his sidekick chum Hague were so keen to reassess our relationship with the EU.

    Fuck all progress on that front too.

  107. 107
    lmao says:

    You’re backpedalling now Vickie. Your BBC/Labour masters won’t be pleased with you, you thick old minger.

  108. 108
    A Pig is a Pig is a Pig says:

    yep, you’re a fucking retard
    thanks for confirming it you partisan lickspittle piece of shit

    would you like me to point you to where Guido said Cameron should sack Piggy Wiggy ?
    and did you call him a BBC propagandist you cowardly wanker ?

  109. 109
    Solution says:

    Sack Wavy Davey, replace him with a Conservative.

    New bottom line:

    Limpdims = mutual destruction

    New Lab = Busted Flush

    All Tories = Happy.

    Britain = properly governed.

  110. 110
    Up sh1t creek says:

    Education is supposed to be “for the good of the country”, but yes, more private sector would be nice in it, because they teach what THEY want, now what some politically correct a-hole in Whitehall wants school children to learn. For example, despite a large amount still not knowing “the three r’s” in the state sector, why are there ‘ollocks subjects like citizenship wasting students time?

    As for health, nobody choses to be sick, so there is a general pot that you may or may not have to make use for. This is the same as having private health care. However, you don’t want the US system where people are charged $100 just for an aspirin. Maybe the French system is a better model to have.

  111. 111
    Nostrildamus says:

    My bet is that Mike Hancock will resign to spend more time with his todger.

  112. 112
    ROFL!! says:

    “So now time for Dave to crack the whip and show him the door…”

    Who said that you brainless poodle ?
    Now ask Guido if his BBC/Labour masters are pleased with him you thick spineless twat.

  113. 113
    Disenchanted Tory says:

    Even better idea: take a chainsaw to them, then they’ll fit into a steel container, or a sewer.

  114. 114
    Archer Karcher says:

    Big earners to for E-On and the like, plant your windmills anywhere you can and the subsidy follows.
    You get paid whether they work or not, whether the wind blows or not, if they have to be turned off because it’s too windy or not windy enough and whether they generate power or not.
    All of course forcibly funded by the ever poorer public via government and corporate “partnership”.
    Daves father in law is an “enabler” in the scam and makes millions out of his son in laws legislation.
    What a lucrative fraud being “progressive” is.

  115. 115

    do you enjoy being an apologist for thieving piggy scum ?
    you fuckwit

  116. 116
  117. 117
    The Archibishop of Canterbury says:

    You’re all using very naughty words for the Lord’s Day.

    Peace be upon you, allahu-ackbar.

  118. 118

    I am distantly related to Brian Rix ;)

  119. 119
    George Osborne confirms that Crossrail and aircraft carriers have survived cuts says:

    Before heading off to Chequers to finalise the Comprehensive Spending Review with the Prime Minister, Nick Clegg and Danny Alexander – who he described as the “brilliant” Chief Secretary – George Osborne was on Andrew Marr’s sofa this morning. The following points emerged:


  120. 120
    Granma Tickle Error says:

    FEWER Ministers and only let them drink tap water. Wine-buying quango now abolished. Tea/coffee & biscuits research department must surely follow.

  121. 121
    My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

    Correct,the communists thought it would be nasty to allow any creed to build a subversive benefit-funded empire within,so they did it

  122. 122
    Tony Cameron the Heir to Blair says:

  123. 123
    Archer Karcher says:

    Multiculturalism = Balkanisation and we all understand how that turns out.

  124. 124
    My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

    I think you are a little confused,the newer culture is generally the cuckoo

  125. 125
    pompa per calcestruzzo says:

    Cameron is a useless fucking wanker, i’ve written it before and i’ll write it again. He’s a jizz filled spastic and anyone who thinks otherwise needs to have his/her fucking head examined.
    Fuck Cameron and all who sail in his stupid fucking tory dinghy!

    There…..got that off my chest.

  126. 126
    Archer Karcher says:

    75% of muslim women and 50% of muslim men are on benefits. Do the math’s.

  127. 127
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    Try this for size


  128. 128
    Archer Karcher says:

    Top yourself first as an example to others. Twat.

  129. 129
    Anonymous says:

    Ooh ‘ello, it’s tats bastard spaztard again. Fuck off and chew on your carers cock FFS.

  130. 130

    Yes, one down, many millions to go please, although I doubt whether these cuts will go deep or far enough – the UK is pretty much a basketcase.

  131. 131
    Archer Karcher says:

    Your’e a multi millionaire Nick. You also are part of the EU power structure in this country and sworn to defend it against all national interests. So a hearty yes please, to you fucking off out of power.

  132. 132
    Sue Dayton-Land says:

    Oh no, not again.

  133. 133
    Archer Karcher says:

    Dave, like Nick, is a traitor. It may however take a few years, for johnny public to realise this. By then of course, it will literally be, too late.

  134. 134
    Archer Karcher says:

    Quisling would be more apt.

  135. 135
    el stupido concreto pumpo says:

    One of your best comments yet. Awаrd yourself a cheesy wotsit.

  136. 136
    Tom 'Bunker Bunter' Watson MP says:

    Try harder my trolls or Dick Ed and I will take you ‘downstairs’…

    Slime, smear, drool, twist.

  137. 137
    Hotel Balkanstan says:

    Britain now resembles a cheap hotel, were the only thing people have in common with each other is they happen to occupy the same space.

    Still, it’s good for the political and business classes, and that’s all what counts.

  138. 138
    Cheese Lover says:

    I was fortunate to escape Oldham’s duskiness 25 years ago, thank god.

    You know what they replaced our school football team with in Oldham…Kabbaddi teams…still, they are the best in Europe by all accounts.

  139. 139
    President Rompuy ( unelected ) says:

    Look, it’s gone midday and your cheque for £48,000,000 has only just arrived, you know the agreement, £48,000,000 by midday every day.
    Now make sure it’s not late tomorrow serfs.
    Our servant Dave, has already agreed to increase your daily tribute to your masters, he will be well rewarded for his efforts.

  140. 140
    Tom 'Bunker Bunter' Watson MP says:

    To be fair you should be grateful they do, or what would pointless little turds like you do to occupy your stagnant hours?

    You could join my acne encrusted troll and smear team however, we in Labour need your sort..

  141. 141
    President Rompuy ( unelected ) says:

    Cameron is a huhne and a huge one to boot, end of story.

  142. 142
    Anonymous says:

    children are also good for the country, it will be the revenue raised from their future earnings which will keep you in your old age smelling of piss You Shortsighted arsehole.

  143. 143
    Labour Handler says:

    Poor trolling, they can see through you.

    Report to Bunker for increased spite and double bluff training.

  144. 144
    Anonymous says:

    Dear Mr Mbongobongoba

    Can i refer you to our previous correspondence dated may 2010 in which you undertook to provide the necessary finance as discussed in your timely e mail.
    As you are aware you promised to deposit the money into the Treasury by May 5 at the latest , yet no such sum appeared despite provision by myself of all the detail which you required.

    Is it possible the cheque may have got lost in the post ?


    Rt Hon Gordon Brown PM ( ex )

  145. 145
    Jonny Red says:

    Rusty meat hooks are a lot more dramatic.

  146. 146
    Rat's arse says:

    Same in stinky Stoke – aren’t we lucky!

  147. 147
    the beast of clerkenwell says:

    We are keeping 2 aircraft carriers that dont have any jets
    Next it will be tanks without guns (too dangerous)
    All rifles to be deactivated just in case anybody gets hurt
    All soldiers to wear pink dungarees
    George Michael and Elton John sent to entertain the troops instead of Jim Davidson
    William Hague sat astride a (deactivated) gun on a frigate, wearing a see through leotard singing “If I could turn back time”
    Such is the state of modern Britain

  148. 148
    The world could end at any time says:

    Why not just go extinct? It has to happen one day.

    Now who is shortsighted.

  149. 149
    the beast of clerkenwell says:

    You left out the fact that he smothered his spaz child with a pillow, claimed the insurance then claimed the pillow on expenses , buried said spaz in the garden of the country house that we all pay for, claimed for a wreath and now claims for grave upkeep
    This is the man who claims to be our prime minister

  150. 150
    Fluffy Thoughts says:

    I think you’ll find that the indigenous population in Ulster – until kicked-out in the Fifth-Century – were the Jocks (Hibernians). Swings-and-roundabouts….

  151. 151
    tаt's bastаrd spаztard says:

    my mummy sаys i’m ‘special’ and that i dribble for englаnd, and that if my bwain had a face it would look like that cretin wаyne rooney. i wuv my mummy ‘coss she smаcks my bott bott hard evwy day.

  152. 152
    Kill them all, burn Lab/Lib/Cons alive says:

    And where did I say they should get away with cock trumpet?

    We are on the same page then, singing from the same hymn book.

  153. 153
    streamfisher says:

    By the time the carriers come into service, 2020? they could come in handy as mobile airports for Easy Jet short haul flights, not likely to be much use for anything else.

  154. 154
    the beast of clerkenwell says:

    He will devote the rest of his life to working for MENCAP
    Fat salary and lots of hot Mongs to shag

  155. 155
    More canapes.... says:


    The Executive Committee is organising a “pot luck” dinner in honour of the Alan Johnson visit which will take place in Belfast on the 20th of
    October (details of event time and location to follow). We are looking for volunteers to bring salads, entrees, side dishes and
    desserts. Any small bit you can do will be a great help.

    If you are interested in bringing a dish, please contact me as soon as possible and I will let you know what we need. We will require about
    six of each type of dish. I could also use a bit of help with the basic organising tasks, so if anyone could offer their services in
    that department I would really grateful.

    Thank you in advance.

    Bethany Waterhouse-Bradley
    Ethnic Minorities Officer


    Is the Shadow Chancellor seriously going to Belfast for a night with LabourNI on the day of the Spending Review?
    I’m sure the ‘Ethnic Minority Officer with the rather unethnic name has a lovely spread planned for him, right enough.

  156. 156
    A500 ..the stairway to heaven says:

    Stoke’s a special case though.Where else would you still find what look like Second World War Bomb-Sites and overgrown Weed-infested Rubble?

  157. 157
    el stupido concreto pumpo says:

    Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

  158. 158
    White Van spaztard TAT Man says:

    are you going to threaten to shut the site down again with your nutter powers tat you drug addict nutcase ?

  159. 159
    streamfisher says:

    The Waterhouse-Bradley’s are officially listed as an endangered species don’t cha know, tiddly-poop, old bean!.

  160. 160
    Mrs T (senile of Dulwich) says:

    You click on an anonymous link if you like, the more sensible among us are not for clicking.

  161. 161
    concrete pump says:

    I molest small dogs
    drool, tug, smear, lick

  162. 162
    The Scots are also a nation of immigrants says:

    The Jocks are Irish immigrants who came over and stole the Caledoians land. There is no such thing as ‘Scotland’ on the old maps.

  163. 163
    Quiche Lorraine says:

    Can I come?, I’m a bit of a dish.

  164. 164
    Cameron is a Liar says:

    Tat thinks Guido is a Labour smearing troll because he called on Dave to sack expenses Piggy Wiggins.

    But that’s because Tat is a retarded lunatic.

  165. 165
    Cameron is a Liar says:

    go rape a small dog thick as thieves you nutter twat

  166. 166
    smoggie says:

    dribbling wank from a thick c*nt

  167. 167
    the beast of clerkenwell says:

    line the walls with cherry wood, install a mosque and I am sure that our Somali brothers and sisters would love to move aboard
    Hopefully the Argies would then fly over and sink them thus turning our diverse friends into water logged cinders

  168. 168
    Screw the establishment says:

    Nothing is “too late”. Don’t let the bastards tell you this.

    There isn’t a law that prevents people having enough of being constantly shat on, rising up, kicking the khants out of Westminster quickly followed up with a ritual burning of EU legislation, a few muzzie qurrraaaaaans for good measure and a knee capping for the great one in hiding “none of this was my fault” Brown.

    It seems that in post 1945 Britain the idea of fighting them on the beaches and in the streets of Westminster and Canary Wharf has taken a back seat.

    Shame on us all.

  169. 169
    Anonymous says:

    says tat’s bastard spaztard..

  170. 170
    Cameron is a Liar says:

    Can we have an expenses thief apologist lickspittle defend Cameron for lying about sacking his expenses thief Piggy Bill Wiggins ?

    Let’s see if Dave’s arselickers have the guts to call Guido a Labour Troll for telling Cameron to keep his word and sack him.

    Tat who will now whine like a pussy below this post because he’s a retard.

  171. 171
    the beast of clerkenwell says:

    They cant even organise a salad and a slice of cake
    Says it all
    Postman twat will probably just drop a little card through the door explaining how his speech was too long to deliver and could they kindly all come to London to hear it (pre 1300hrs)

  172. 172
    streamfisher says:

    A well thought out and reasoned analysis of our defence predicament and security options as usual from the beast.

  173. 173
    White Van Man says:

    fuck off tat

  174. 174
    аnonymous says:

    sаys tat’s bаstаrd spаztаrd…

  175. 175
    My HandyCock in your hand is worth two in your bush says:

    When the fucker finally gets the boot will all his accrued pension, or rewards for failure as they are better known as go with him or stay in the taxpayer’s account?

    Hope M E N C A P sever all relationships with him and refuse to pay any ‘fees’ that are owing. They should surcharge him for being an utter bastard too.

  176. 176
    Scum-U-Like says:

    They won’t resign because they love the perks but if they did Blobby Clarke should join the socialists because when it comes to crime he is so wet you could launch a polaris missile off his back. The crims will be weeping into their porridge if he goes, they know he is the best chance they have of being able to continue beating people up, robbing, and causing mayhem but being kept out of jail with a laughable “community” sentence or even more laughable “tagging” (which basically means they can stay at home shagging and smoking dope and watching porn all day) Soft on crime, soft on the causes of crime (scum-bags)

  177. 177
    The Institute for Cultural and Diversity Awareness (closing down soon) says:

    Ethnic Minorities Officer?

    FFS! I hope you are paying for this pile of old wank yourselves.

    You’re not getting grants from some taxpayer funder lefty organisation to ‘enhance and protect the vibrancy that a multicultural society provides’ are you?

  178. 178
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Not for me, Sir Trev – all mouth and no salwar kameez.

    Prefer to stick to Caroline Norks (not seen her recently – where has she been?) with the sapphic tendencies of Margot James also provoking light tingling in the Gentleman’s Area.

  179. 179
    Argie-Bargy says:

    Don’t warry my friend we are keeping an eye on you, just as soon as you get reed of doze jets we weel be taking back our glorious malvinas – together with all mineral and oil rights of course – we weel humiliate you for what your Thatcher Iron ladee deed to us so yes pleez cut all your military spending..we is just watching and waiting! We sheet on you from crazy height!

  180. 180
    streamfisher says:

    We should get the women’s institute to run the country, oh I forgot, we already have.

  181. 181
    Dripping leftie says:

    Would that be the same “Vibrancy” Angela Merkel has been talking about?

  182. 182
    Bystander says:

    The best way of saving money is to shut all the schools, we ruled half the World when we couldn’t read and write

  183. 183
    pompa per calcestruzzo says:

    You’re all spastics…..

  184. 184
    2 Shags 'n 2 Jags says:

    I can replace “Postman Pat” Johnson

    And I can read and write y’know


    I need pies…and piles of them….

    And a few interns to shag in the backoffice

    OK Bethany what-not ?

  185. 185
    Ghost Of Christmas Past says:

    tat hated cameron you mong so if you think that poor imitation is really tat it means you never knew or posted in the same times as the original.

  186. 186
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, she’s had enough too. Good for her.

    ComeOnDave – do the decent thing and crack the whip or just fuck off and console yourself that you are yet another bullshitter.

  187. 187
    Anonymous says:

    Ethnic Minorities Officer.

    These wasters really have never quite progressed to real life after their Student Union days.

  188. 188
    Angela Merkel says:

    You know we invited all these Turks to come as Guest Workers ?

    But they have forgotten that they are meant to go home…

    A contract is a contract though….

  189. 189
    EL Presidente de Chile says:

    Anybody want to buy a ticket for my piece of rock (n.b no gold content) World Tour?.

  190. 190
    аnonymous says:

    We all know tаt had a spаzdick love child with Troonite, and you’re it. Sorry to inform you this wаy, but they don’t let visitors into the special cаtegory secure unit.

  191. 191
    Baroness Ashton of UpYours says:

    Hiya, I’m not elected either! Great isn’t it.

    Anyhoo I’ll have a word with William and ensure the payments are on time in future.

  192. 192
    Ghost Of Christmas Past says:

    Your just jealous because the best part of you i.e. the lump of shit covered in tats cum fell out of troonites arse into the toilet you poop baby.

  193. 193
    Spellcheck says:

    It should be ‘You’re’ not ‘Your’.

  194. 194
    Alex Salm ond says:

    I will resign to lead the socialist republic.

  195. 195
    More canapes.... says:


    Charming girl. All women shortlists?…so much for ethnics get a fair crack of the whip.

  196. 196
    аnonymous says:

    That was addressed to comment no 161, shit fer brains.

  197. 197
    13eastie says:

    Baroness Uddin’s Inexorable Flight from Justice

    If further proof were needed that our Parliament is unfit to police its own affairs:

    1. Uddin lives in subsidised housing association family home less than four miles from the HoL, and is registered to vote there.

    2. Uddin claims her main home is an empty flat in Maidstone

    3. Uddin claimed during 2007-2008 at the maximum rate for accommodation for more days than the Lords actually sat. A day’s work for Uddin typically entails entering and leaving Parliament over the course of a couple of minutes. She has fraudulently claimed more than £100K in false expenses.

    4. Uddin was exposed in 2009 by the Sunday Times, and the CPS notified. The HoL authorities responded by altering the rules so that a main home might be described as a place someone visited once a month, thwarting in an instant any external independent criminal investigation. (This decision was taken unilaterally by a civil servant called Michael Pownall who has worked his whole life at the HoL).

    6. Uddin is to be awarded in 2010, at the recommendation of Derry Irvine and the rest of the HoL Standards and Privileges Committee, the “toughest possible sanctions”

    Here are the “toughest possible sanctions” in detail:

    1. Uddin gets to keep her ‘job’ and title, but must keep her head down for 18 months.

    2. Uddin is to be repay the money that she stole. The Lords has effectively reclassified the proceeds of her criminal behaviour as an interest free loan, courtesy of the tax-payer.

    Uddin is a despicable pig. She is criminal scum. But the fucking lot of them are troughers in cahoots. They are incapable of learning. They must all go.

  198. 198
    Make our day,Miguel. says:

    One thing you CAN guarantee Mr Argy is that the defence of the Falklands are something that not even “Dave” dare default on.He would sooner pull troops out of Afghanistan and reduce all other commitments before he let the Argies take it back.No British PM(and certainly no Tory PM) could survive the loss of those islands again.The right wing press would crucify him for losing British Sovereign Territory If that happened his government would lose a morion of no-confidence and him and his crew of Eton Fags would be out quicker than you could say David Davis

  199. 199
    Baronness Houdini says:

    Racist !! I am expecting to get away with this.

  200. 200
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    But he should have kept it out of the lady back in 2002 – would have saved a lot of fake maintenance and real legal charges.

  201. 201
    Adolph says:

    Any pics

  202. 202
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    Margot James voted against Nuttall’s 10-Minute Rule Bill to amend the smoking ban – so sapphic or not, she’s off the Christmas card list now.

  203. 203
    Basil Brush says:

    Thats the funniest thing I’ve heard all week

    Ha ha ha

    Bum bum

  204. 204
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    Bradfordistan does not have multiculturalism – it is a single muzzie-dominated culture and has been for the last 20 years.

    Anyone who’s not at the local mosque every Friday can get nothing from the council, police, benefits agency, hospitals etc.

    The few remaining white working classes won’t take much more – the blue touch-paper has been lit….

  205. 205
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    Not been to Bradford recently then ?

  206. 206
    Herr Mong-RondPuit says:

    Feels just like old times- it’s strange the things you get nostalgic about.

  207. 207
    EU, muzzies & me? - fuck off! says:


    Every menu must contain at least:

    ► one hot
    ► one cold
    ► one vegetarian
    ► one dairy-free
    ► one halal option

    The above is enough to make my brain explode. FFS why the pampering? My granny is lucky to get one square meal a day let alone a fucking choice.

    Where is the halal free option?

    Can they guarantee all meat that is not on the halal dish is halal free?

    If not why not?

  208. 208
    Herr Mong-RondPuit says:

    Brilliant! A budget version of Boris Island that we can leave parked on the Thames (until needed for military use).

  209. 209
    Whitehall says:

    What a farce.

  210. 210
    albacore says:

    No, no. Dave’s got the ultimate deterrent – and he’s not frit to use it!
    If they’re naughty boys, he’ll yank out that ring-fence and stop their pocket money from the foreign aid budget.

  211. 211
    Mr T says:

    I pity the fool.

  212. 212
    It'sNeverTooLate says:

    I’ll stand by your side brother/sister, Nil carborundum illegitimi.

  213. 213
    Hague the vague says:

    There is no such thing as England on the new maps either.

    Ha ha!

  214. 214
    The Liebour party says:

    We indoctrinated you to ‘celebrate the rich multicultural diversity’ which mass immigration bestowed upon the country. It has certainly increased the number of postal voters who faithfully choose us at every election but apparently Frau Merkel is not so impressed.


  215. 215
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    “The Rupert Murdoch of inanity, the Bill Gates of meaninglessness, the Rafael Nadal of inconsequentiality, the Warren Buffett of triviality.”

    The girl has a way with words, even if you don’t always agree with them. Marina Hyde. Could do with a good stretching IMHO.

  216. 216
    Anonymous says:

    I hope Michael Gove doesn’t resign. I caught his speech at the conference purely by accident as I was flicking through the channels, and it was one of the most positive and inspiring speeches I’ve heard from any uk politician for a very long time (much better than Camerons’ speeches).

    Being an old cynic, it’s very rare that I’d give a uk politician much praise above “doing ok, could do better”, but in this case Gove made a blinding speech and genuinely made me think:

    “Thank fuck for that; we’ve got someone who actually cares about educating our kids, wants to do it properly, and doesn’t want to burn money in the process.”

    I particularly liked his section which went along the lines of (paraphrasing here and adding expletives etc, but this was the gist of it)….

    People want us to slow down on education reform; they don’t want to bring in these new ideas for years. To them I say “fuck you; our kids don’t get a second chance, so we’re doing this right fucking now before we destroy any more kids’ lives with a shit education system.”

    I also liked his section on having shit standards (ie moaning about the fact that in most GCSEs you don’t get any points taken off for bad spelling etc, and that the exams are just too easy, and that we just don’t teach kids the basics anymore because it’s not “modern” enough to teach people how to speak/spell/add-up).

    Anyway, if you’re reading this, Mr Gove; thanks, mate; you’ve set my mind at rest on a lot of issues. It was a truly inspiring speech.

  217. 217

    My Jedi religion requires me to eat alternate suppers of Kobe beef and fugu. Will I be catered for when dining at Her Majesty’d pleasure, I ask?

  218. 218
    Martin Day says:

    The Political Blogger,Guido Fawkes has defended his right to claim child benefit, despite earning an annual salary of more than £1,000,000

  219. 219
    Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

    Excellent points, 13eastie, IMHO.

    But there’s more to it.

    Today’s Sunday Times says that Plod/CPS has already declined the opportunity to prosecute because the Lords’ regulations are so lax – so there’s not much chance of proving she cheated – and they later changed the rules to ‘forgive’ the ‘errors’ anyway. That is an utter disgrace. Good for Manningham-Buller et al for pursuing this vile creature (in the face of Labour peers’ protests that account should be taken of her ‘straitened circumstances’).

    But there’s yet more to it.

    The Lords authorities are scrapping the expenses system, substituting an enhanced clocking-on fee (£150 half-day, £300 whole day).

    Does that end the fiddles? Not a bit! If a Lord or Lady has signed on ONCE in a month for the full-day rate, any subsequent signings-on that month must also be at the full-day rate, irrespective of how brief the visit.

    It beggars belief that these people, after all that has been said and the little that has been done, are STILL fixing-up nice little sinecures for themselves at our expense.

    ‘We’re all in this together’? I don’t think so!

    Sort these buggers out, Guido, instead of giving us speculation on possible Cabinet resignations – that sort of silliness is a BBC monopoly, anyway.

  220. 220
    Anonymous says:

    I’m allergic to everything apart from Matsutake Mushrooms, Yubari Melons and Italian White Alba Truffles. I’ve got a note from my doctor to say so.
    I’m going to nick a telly tomorrow, get caught deliberately, and put my prison dinner in a placcy bag and hand it to my “doctor” when he visits me during my stay.


  221. 221
    the beast of clerkenwell says:

    The Beast has dined courtesy of the tax payer on many occassions
    Officers mess
    24 hr rat pack

  222. 222
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    I would say his point was rather blunted.

  223. 223
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    You haven’t eaten your greens, Martin.

  224. 224
    Socialists = Sociopaths says:

    Martin, what does ‘earning’ mean ?? We are takers, not makers.

  225. 225
    Mr Plum says:

    a new poll showed a third of all Germans viewed immigrants as welfare cheats.

    Would we ever be allowed a similar poll over here

  226. 226
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Walpurgisnacht in just 195 days!

  227. 227
    Jack Nicholson says:

    Most lamb is halal slaughtered, either here or in places like New Zealand.

    The lunatics have finally taken over the asylum.

  228. 228
    SAD DICK CLINT says:

    I can get my associate, N. Shallah, to organise that.

  229. 229
    What is the benefit (for me)? says:

    Pleez to thank my local cooncil for benefits
    4 women with 18 childrens veely expensiv
    needings big places now and wifes peoples carryers

  230. 230
    bergen says:

    Apparently a Severn Barrage would be ruinously expensive but there is new technology being developed that could create a series of tidal lagoons in the Severn producing much the same power at far less cost.It would be strange if a Govt Dept was thinking sensibly for once.

  231. 231
    Albi Here says:

    Marty,Marty he pays his taxes,he has kids ,it’s enshrined in law he can have child benefit,until that’s changed then he’s doing nothing wrong,my ideal would be to surcharge all Liebour supporters and voters for the money you bosses pissed up the wall then you would have something to moan about.

  232. 232
    streamfisher says:

    Martin would never eat his Greens.

  233. 233
    Mr Plum says:

    Is it just cheaper slaughter animals that way, cant see them doing it otherwise.

  234. 234
    BrownScotch says:

    I will never resign!

  235. 235
    OinkOink says:

    I’ve served my time, back to the trough for me.


  236. 236

    Not to mention the free buns Sainsbury’s chuck out Sunday afternoon.

  237. 237
    Jonny Red says:

    Sorry Addy I forgot you missed your own trial at Nuremberg due to that nasty accident you and the Mrs H had when you both accidentally died on your wedding night in May 45. Most couples have the first dance and a quick knee wobbler in the loo’s but instead you got food poisoning,shot, spilt petrol on yourselves and fell in a ditch whilst smoking a fag, which was rude because you hadn’t even welcomed all your guests, namely the Red army. Had you survived those unfortunate set of events then you would have had your wedding present from Uncle Joe, a nice shinny set of meat hooks. So in answer to your question, NO I don’t have any pictures, its your own fault for being so dam rude to Uncle Joe for not being available to receive him and thus denying him the opportunity to demonstrate them on you. The man had feelings you know, he was never the same man after that, its as if a light went out and it certainly speeded up his untimely demise.

  238. 238
    fuck off muzzies says:

    Archer Karcher, I don’t dispute your figures but a source would be great.

  239. 239
    Anonymous says:

    Welcome to the hotel Balkanstan
    Such a lovely place
    Such a lovely face
    Plenty of room at the hotel Balkanstan
    Any time of year, you can find it here

    Last thing I remember, I was
    Running for the door
    I had to find the passage back
    To the place I was before
    ’relax,’ said the night man,
    We are programmed to receive.
    You can checkout any time you like,
    But you can never leave!

  240. 240
    Prison service minion says:

    We are an inclusive prison service and must therefor cater for every religion, taste, fad, crank, alergy, and nationality. It is important to us that our customers enjoy a positive prison dining experience. We are currently in talks with a top west end chef to design new menus which will reflect the care, taste and attention we like to give to the diets of our clients. Though because we too must share our burden of the cuts, plans for wine cellars to be established at all prisons have had to be postponed.

  241. 241
    Mr Plum says:

    Only three

  242. 242
    13eastie says:


    Getting excited about SpAds is futile while the core of our democracy is rotten.

    1. To whom are any of the people who have aided Uddin’s evasion of justice (e.g. the S&P Committee and Pownall) actually accountable in any practical sense? And how have they justified their actions to the electors (that they don’t have)?

    2. How can such meaningless “sanctions”, which are hopelessly out-of-step with real life, have any deterrent effect whatsoever? Think for one second the whirlwind of shit that a small business would face were there to be hint of a suspicion of VAT fraud on such a scale.

    3. Why have they introduced a “reform” by copying the massively criticised and abused system of allowances in operation at the European parliament?

    4. Where is there any incentive at the HoL for members to ensure value-for-money in Parliament?

    5. Why are the Lords being allowed to the exclusion of all others to approve their own expenses system? £300+ to cover expenses incurred by a day of idleness? A home paid for, even if it’s used only one night a month i.e. LESS than most holiday homes? Who has actually been satisfied that any of this is reasonable?

    This is the scum we want to chase out, Guido. Gay SpAds are irrelevant while Parliament itself remains the enemy.

  243. 243
    Sarf of the River says:

    I don’t know about the cost issue. The halal treatment though must take longer per animal as they have to wait for the blood to drain out before progressing it to the next stage.

    Normal slaughter involves electric prods which render the animal brain dead if not instantly a few seconds later. Traditional slaughter methods don’t involve saying a muzzie prayer over the animal as it is dying either. I neither want my meat hanging around to die or having a prayer said over it either.

    The muzzies don’t accept the traditional slaughter practices in Britain. Why should I accept theirs?

    The various meat marketing boards (domestic and global), assorted industry numpties and supermarket profiteers are falling over themselves to not print on packs the method of slaughter. Why are they so reticent?

    If the muzzies demand halal what is wrong with me not wanting halal? Halal is a method of despatch which I want to avoid.

    It’s both the mechanics and the the principle surely?

  244. 244
    Mr Plum says:

    Arr they are doing away with the electric prods saving energy, co2 and thus saving the planet, i begin to see their wisdom.

  245. 245
    Poor Bill says:

    How meny were in the cabinet of Churchill.

  246. 246
    Anonymous says:

    Surely there is no need to tinker with child benefit.

    All Dave has to do is to ask those who don’t need it not to take it.

    That’s how The Big Society works isn’t it?

    People doing the right thing of their own volition.

    Makes sense to me.

  247. 247
    Sarf of the River says:

    I don’t think the foreign aid budget stretches to the good people of South America.

    The foreign aid budget is being spunked on utter basket case countries with dodgy regimes, institutionalised charity fraud, Bono-esque lefty infested, “don’t use condoms” Pope missionaries et al.

    These dodgy regimes always manage to send their ‘brightest’ and ‘best’ to Oxbridge to learn how to really screw the small people when they return. Great alumni these bastions of education have eh?

    No, don’t panic folks, the foreign aid budget along with the EU capitulation fund is safe in CallMeDave’s clammy hands.

  248. 248
    Chris Myers Fan Club says:


    Dont get rid of Woefull Warsi or Gobshite Gove.

    That pair make anti government comment soooo easy !!!!!

  249. 249
    The political class can kiss my arse says:

    After “Woefull Warsi or Gobshite Gove” there are plenty more, around 640 odd if I am not mistaken.

    I hope the cuts don’t affect the woeful wonderful fucking plodding plod’s efforts to hunt these bastards down and charge them.

    We’re waiting plod. What are you waiting for?

    Are you with us or against us? Think carefully now!

  250. 250
    Bastard says:

    Will the Spending Review Spark a Resignation?


    they’re all too comfortable at the top table

  251. 251
    Bastard says:

    wiggin and cameron are both cnuts

  252. 252
    Bastard says:

    agree excellent 13eastie

    but you know, they are all better than us, the ones who under sufferance have to pay for this scum – hang the fucking lot of them because they are all guilty by assocoation

  253. 253
    Bob Page says:


    • Unemployment among ethnic minorities costs the economy almost £8.6 billion a year in benefits and lost revenue from taxes. Half of Muslim men and three quarters of Muslim women are unemployed.

    erm… but politicians keep telling us that immigration is good for the economy? Even if these are 2nd or 3rd generation, they are still products of an idiotic immigration policy that we seem to be persisting with.

  254. 254
    The political class can kiss my arse says:

    Why anyone who can see through parties of any colour is deemed a troll I will never understand.

  255. 255
    Ranting Nat says:

    Cut out most of the parliamentary perks, bring civil service pay, expectations and conditions into line with the real world, reduce the benefits to ex MPs (especially Gordon Brown and Blairman, remove all quangoes, immediately withdraw from Iraqi and Afghanistan, remove all benefits from anybody who has not contributed i.e. immigrants regardless whether from EEC or not. Recruit individuals with PROVEN business success to steer these incompetent lying twats of politicians into the most effective way to run the country to resume economic stability and to REALLY THINK THROUGH POLICIES prior to either leaking or announcing them to the country via the media. Bring the banks into line with reality and hold directors responsible for the actions of their companies and explain to the NWO lot to fuck off.Maybe something along these lines may well be the foundations to a more stable future.

  256. 256
    Pissed off says:

    It’s totally pointless trying any other way than to chuck a handful of fragmentation grenades into the chamber while they’re sitting (that is if you can ever find more than half a dozen of the fuckers there) or take the lot of them out with assualt rifles.

  257. 257
    The political class can kiss my arse says:

    Teh Grauniad certainly think there is no point in carrying any comments which show Marr in a bad light.

    And the fucking twats there accuse Marr of being a ConDem in disguise!

    The irony.

  258. 258
    Gordon Brown says:

    Despite being asked to, I always refused to resign for the good of my party. I decided it was the honourable thing to do to stay on and lead the country to success. I regret nothing.

  259. 259
    Alex Salmond says:

    We need an independent Scotland. I see the day when my nation together with Iceland and Ireland will form a shining Arc of Prosperity.

  260. 260
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    It was a great way of bolstering Liebour supporters. Gerrymandering on an epic scale ! I got very rich along the way !

  261. 261
    Ars Gratia Artis says:

    Guido is on the right track. It isn’t about either getting gay SpAds away from the taxpayer tit, or getting thieving politicians away from the same said tit. It is about doing both.

  262. 262
    More importantly... says:

    Who’s going to be eliminated from The X Factor?

  263. 263
    Liblabcon scum says:

    It’s not just the Labour party welded to the dogma of mass immigration; just ask Pasha Dave and Dutch Nickie.

    Whether it’s for new voters or for serf labour, the political class demands ever more third world immigration.

  264. 264
    Mr Plum says:

    These i hope

  265. 265
    Airey Belvoir says:

    So the Marr lurvechild is not his after all – after years of bollockings from Jackie and a load of maintenance, not to mention legal bills. You would have to have a heart of stone not to laugh.

  266. 266
    Ayesha Hazareeka says:

    I’m busy writing more great jokes for Ed to say at PMQs. I’m worth every penny of my Spaz salary! Sorry, I mean Spad.

  267. 267
    Bastard says:

    I’d just like to say that andrew marr is a slimylittleHunt

  268. 268
    Dumbed down west says:

    If only the old Warsaw pack countries had had X-Factor and Bulgaria’s got talent to distract the plebs – the Iron Curtain would still be up.

  269. 269
    Anonymous says:

    It’s the hypocrisy of the authorities too. They introduced animal welfare practices into the slaughter house for the benefit of the animals. What’s changed apart from the desperate need to appease Islam?

  270. 270
    Bastard says:

    doesn’t have the same ring to it

  271. 271
    Buy my book says:

  272. 272
    13eastie says:

    Beg to differ.

    Individual indiscretion is one thing – conspiratorial closing of ranks is in a different league entirely.

    The HoL has proved itself to be rotten to the core.

    There is no baby in this bathwater.

  273. 273
    Anonymous says:

    You’re right there Sarf, WTF happens to them when these fuckers go to Oxford? BTW, have you been to Oxford lately, it’s getting like Wembley high road?

  274. 274
    albacore says:

    Funny, the DFID seems to think it’s doling out goodies to something called the Argentine Republic.


  275. 275
    pompa per calcestruzzo says:

    Christ on a spacehopper! Milliband looks like a fucking psychopath.

  276. 276
    Denis Macshame says:

    I’m still here.

  277. 277
    Anonymous says:

    Where does the RSPCA stand in all this? Don’t hear a fucking peep.

  278. 278
    Ratsniffer says:

    There’s just one tiny wheeny problem: he’s up agains the combined might of an entrenched leftie marxist education system which will fight tooth and nail to carry on with their crappy intelligence-sapping methods until they have zombified our children into becoming part of the National Socialist Labour Youth Movement.

  279. 279
    a banker says:

    “Extrapolating voter intentions five years hence, based on current polling, is a mugs game. Clearly, you are one.”

    Extrapolating home values five years hence, based on current pricing, is a mugs game. Clearly, I am one.

  280. 280
    Here's Eddy!!!! says:

    That’s because he is.

  281. 281
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    On that logic, it makes me a bolshevik.

  282. 282
    Mohammed Mchaggis says:

    Or Scotland either.

  283. 283
    When it comes down to brass tacks they are all hypocrites and liars says:

    Or the lefties, peta, cry babies who whinge about animal testing and other sad acts and oh the greens as well.

  284. 284
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    I knew I’d see that picture somewhere before.

  285. 285
    Sarf of the River says:

    Anonymous says:
    October 17, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    children are also good for the country, it will be the revenue raised from their future earnings which will keep you in your old age smelling of piss You Shortsighted arsehole.

    I am more than prepared for my old age and I am just 43. I have had well paid jobs since graduating with a useful degree from a proper university.

    If I want need something I will buy it when I can both justify the expense and afford the expenditure.

    I’ve had a credit card for decades but have never used it unless the debit card is screwed. On the odd occasion I have had to use it the balance is paid off before interest accrues. This is because I don’t expect anyone else to bail me out – ever!

    My parents taught me how to live like this. Many children today don’t deserve to have the privilege of caring for their elders and betters.

    I will not smell of piss in my old age – guaranteed.

    Are you Michael Jackson?

  286. 286
    albacore says:

    Your starter for 10: which current British Prime Minister proclaimed:
    “Not for the first time, I found myself thinking that it is mainstream Britain which needs to integrate more with the British Asian way of life, not the other way around.”?

  287. 287
    Says it all.... says:

  288. 288
    13eastie says:

    Can’t come soon enough, ‘Lex!

    The Scotch are tolerated only by the Labour party, and then only for the month prior to a general election.

    Aside from that, none of the rest of us have any need for the hugely expensive chippy whining which is the only manifestation of your existence in England (aside from the Scotch banks that we’re still rescuing).

    Secession is the most straightforward way to remove 59 (in general, a good deal more vile than the average) piggy snouts from the trough.

    The Tories should actively pursue the riddance of the Scotch from the Union. It would make the English happier and more comfortably-off, and it would clean up Parliament no end.

    The only drawback would be the inevitable immigration problem.

  289. 289
    Anonymous says:

    Agreed. All the main parties have consciously modelled themselves on the same centre-left model, with Blair-alikes as figureheads.

    I for one won’t vote Tory again until they actually distinguish themselves from the Lib Dems/Labour.

  290. 290
    Bastard says:

    I’m glad you see my point of view. These bastards cannot be rationalised with. They have their pat answers to everything. Their staff are the same. Toady little creatures paid for by the taxpayer. The are all vermin. And what do we do with vermin? — EXTERMINATE

  291. 291
    Sarf of the River says:

    And guess what @ Anonymous October 17, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    My parents made me sign a contract (yes, a real written contract) with them that, from the moment I left home for university, they were not obliged to pay for:

    1. Servicing and licensing my car (My responsibility, I saved up for it and bought it)
    2. Any other expenses.

    There were expenses, many and varied, from text books (£25+ each even then), pubs, getting pissed, clubs, more getting pissed etc.

    They didn’t even pay for my petrol the bastards.

    Luckily the petrol was purchased with the money I earned travelling back home every two weeks to work for a nearby company I started working for pre-university and half way through A levels.

    I got the job by reading books in a reference library over a very long week having called an agency and hearing of the IT requirements for companies.

  292. 292
    Anonymous says:

    “By the time the carriers come into service, 2020? they could come in handy as mobile airports for Easy Jet short haul flights, not likely to be much use for anything else.”

    Even the Americans (the world’s leading proponents of Carrier power) are having second thoughts about building any more at the moment. Apparently they’re sitting ducks for hypersonic cruise missiles like ‘the sizzler’.


    Predictably, after f*cking around for a decade the UK will eventually build two huge white elephants just in time for the technology to trickle down to anyone with a coastal navy.

    And as for having carriers with no planes, isn’t that the current position? Aren’t all of the Harriers already in Afghanistan?

  293. 293
    A Pensioner says:

    They don’t look too confortable round that table to me.

    Too many bastards sucking the teat.

    For starters, all odd numbers should be shot.

  294. 294
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin says:

    Apparently Jonathan Powell has written a book,
    ‘The New Machiavelli: How to Wield Power in the Modern World’ in which he implies that I am mad, bad and dangerous. WTF is wrong with people, don’t they recognise sheer genius ?? After all, I abolished Boom and Bust and save the World !

    ( Let’s not mention anything about the Nation’s Bullion Reserves )

  295. 295
    Blighty says:

    Iceland produces fish and the scots produce… whisky? ok, that could make some fairly strong rollmops. As for the oil and gas, fuck you, we’re keeping that.

  296. 296
    White Van Man says:

    At 6:18 on that video really says it all, and that is where his loyalties solely lie, whatever happen to British Asian?

  297. 297
    AC1 says:

    It’s been rebranded as PC Force.

  298. 298
    White Van Man says:


  299. 299
    Unkindest cut of all says:

    THE King of Jordan’s sister has appealed to the Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, to stop the ritual slaughter of conscious animals for halal meat in Australia, saying it was not necessary under Islamic principles.

    Princess Alia bint al-Hussein of Jordan, who is the sister of King Abdullah II of Jordan, said she had written to Mr Rudd saying that any lowering of animal welfare standards in Australia for religious reasons would be a blow to the country’s reputation and undermine progress in the Middle East.

    “Contrary to some claims, killing without stunning is not necessary under Islamic principles,” she said.

    The Australian standard on ritual slaughter for halal and kosher meat states that animals must first be rendered unconscious by electrical stunning before their throats are cut.

    But under a disputed federal guideline, the Government has allowed at least four Victorian abattoirs exemptions to kill without stunning to fulfil Middle Eastern export contracts over the past two years.

    “Reducing [Australia’s] standards to permit animals to be slaughtered while fully conscious may meet the personal preferences of a minority but it is not an example that will inspire positive change, nor encourage the acceptance of pre-slaughter stunning in the Middle East,” she said.

  300. 300
    Institute of Education and Social Deconstructionism says:

    Damn, they’ve noticed.

  301. 301
    Number 10's cat says:


  302. 302
    BBC News says:

    No problem brother!

  303. 303
    Number 10's cat says:

    Childish I know,
    but little things as they say

  304. 304
    White Van Man says:

    I like that number, and they could all sit in the HoCs in comfort too!

  305. 305
    Bernard Manning says:

    Hey that’s fucking great luv, you got any new muzzie jokes then?

  306. 306
    Believe it or not, this advert was withdrawn after accusations of racism says:

  307. 307
    Lest we forget says:

  308. 308
    nell says:

    Finally! The hard-faced, uncaring, troughing, self-serving baronessu is being made to pay back £127k and being banished from the Hol for her fraudulent activities for a year.

    It’s not enough but it’s a start.

  309. 309
    Lard Presclott of Bulimia, Bog Seats, Beams,Bellies,Banjos,Punches, Croquet, Pies, Jags 'n' Shags says:

    Oooh, I don’t like the sound of this.

  310. 310
    KMG Gold Buyers says:

    Hahahaha, we need more fucking idiots like you!

  311. 311
    Sadiq Khan says:

  312. 312
    Simon Hughes says:

    It’s looking increasingly like it’s down to me and Bob Crow to lead the fightback.
    Someone has to.

  313. 313
    China says:

    So when the shit hits the fan, who will really be in charge you selfish fickle all consuming lazy morons?

    Remember the golden rule, who ever holds the gold rules!


  314. 314
    nell says:

    lordpaul. gordon and sarah’s very best friend, agrees with you!!

  315. 315
    Cameron is a Liar says:

    So why did Cameron lie about sacking Piggy Wiggy expenses thief Bill Wiggin ?

  316. 316
    Tim Yeo says:

    You tell ‘em nell!
    If she had lobbying power, who knows what abuses she could be guilty of.

  317. 317
    nell says:

    Not very well informed given that sadiqkhan is of p+a+k+i+s+tani origin. And is largely regarded as extreme etc……..

  318. 318
    nell says:

    The vision of simonhughes holding bobcrows’s hand as they both walk out into a teaming M25 , to protest against the coalition, is I confess heartening!!

  319. 319
    Sarf of the River says:

    @ albacore


    Too many spreadsheets to take in tonight. Thanks for the link.

  320. 320
    nell says:

    Not what abuses she could be guilty of. What abuses she WAS guilty of!!

    When are they going to investigate her Uddin Trust?

    Remember that Trust? The one that was supported by margaretmoran and then mysteriously disappeared, with no published accounts, just after uddin had built her marble palace from unexplained funds??!! Hmm??!!

  321. 321
    Barbara Billingsley RIP says:

  322. 322
    nell says:

    Modded twice

    We musn’t say anything honest about baronessu or Lordp then?!!!

  323. 323
    eh? says:

    None of them. They are mostly dead now.

  324. 324
    Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

    Yep, Ratsniffer. Gove’s there for maybe five years; teachers are there for 40.

  325. 325
    The view from Sir William Waad's caravan says:

    Steamy windows, nell.

  326. 326
    QWERTY says:

    Robert Peston made a right fucking twat of himself on the BBC tonight. Jesus this guy is useless, especially now he no longer has a direct line to Downing Street.

  327. 327
    Simon "Yosser" Hughes says:

    I’d be prepared to make a twat of myself on the BBC for 250k a year!

  328. 328
    nell says:


    tina turner’s lyrics for steamy windows.

    G’Night. Sweet Dreams!

  329. 329
    Anonymous says:

    D A V I D C A M E R O N?

  330. 330
    Small request to Muzees says:

    Kindly refrain from killing people. Ta.

  331. 331
    Tony "fucking" Blair says:

    “People doing the right thing of their own volition.”

    Like the hundreds of thousands who marched against a patently illegal war and occupation and were totally ignored you mean?

  332. 332
    Groucho says:

    Look out for ‘Ummah Talent’ on one of the obscure religious satellite channels.
    You really do have to see it to believe it.

  333. 333
    ffs says:

    I didn’t want to click play as the still (above) looks too much like “I am A Celebrity Dianne Abbot On Who Needs To Lose Weight With Liposuction.”

  334. 334
    ffs says:

    SimonHughes is my MP. I will pay good money to see him walking on to a motorway. I’d prefer to see him do it on the westbound section of the M40 at rush hour however.

  335. 335
    ffs says:

    Ah, come off it Simon! You’ve got that right nice new poofy and poncy office in PoofCullis house now haven’t you!

    I bet you love to welcome people in to your orifice.

    You dirty fecker!

  336. 336
    OINK! OINK! says:


  337. 337
    OINK! OINK! says:


  338. 338
    TROOPS OUT NOW! says:

    Don’t let the dead troops haunt your nightmares sweetie.

  339. 339
    Pigs eat Turnips says:

    It means your hero Dave is as bad as they are for keeping an expenses pig in place despite promising to sack him little piggy apologist

  340. 340
    HappyUK says:

    I think you’re right about Cable. Egotists always want to exit with one big grand finale. Showing off till the bitter end.

  341. 341
    HappyUK says:

    I love it!

  342. 342
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Even the blessed Mrs T didn’t ….

    Yours etc


  343. 343
    iteezy says:

    Principle and resignations don’t sit well together with power hungry politician’s

  344. 344
    Anon says:

    “not even “Dave” dare default on.”

    You wanna bet?

    He’d realise within 24 hours that writing any such cheque to retake the islands is one that the British military could not cash.

    The whole friggin’ fleet is going to end up being the size of the Op Corporate Task Force within 5 years. We just aint got the men, the aircraft, the ships, the leadership, NOTHING, to be able to do it. Theres barely enough personnel there at the moment to be able to repel a frontal assault. If the Argies did it with the support of the Brazilians or the Uruguayans, you can kiss goodbye to those islands for good.

    Within 10 years, I reckon those islands will be retaken by Argentina, by force and there aint gonna be shit we can do about it.

  345. 345
    I hate New Labour says:

    No, it won’t.

    Just look at Labour and how they failed to find a collective backbone when they were clearly being led by a lunatic.

    These weasels are in power and must know they’re going to be very unpopular and potentially could be out for another 13 years in 2014/5. Hence no-one will want to give this up.

  346. 346
    Al Johnson says:

    All this finance stuff is a bit heavy for me – a bit like my old post sack – and I’ve only managed to read the contents page of that book that Gordon gave me. Wish I had got the Shadow Deputy job as there would be less work. Now I’ve got to pretend that I understand things when I don’t. Ed doesn’t care so I’ll just wing it for a bit.

    PS Anyone’s seen my cat lately? Here Jess ….

  347. 347
    Handycock says:

    How dare you. I will not resign. All I was doing was giving holistic succour to a constituent. The rumours about 14 year old pregnant girls are not true, and I would have proven this in Court, except I couldn’t attend, as I was troughing in Europe. The bottom line is, as I already stated, I now have a political mandate for shagging mentally impaired constituents and underage girls, as I got more votes than Les Cummings in the general election. The electorate have spoken and I will act upon it.

  348. 348
    Lulu the Lapdancer and pompey good time girl. says:

    Well said Limpy darling. See you after school tonight.

  349. 349
    Handycock says:

    How dare you impugn the honesty and integrity of the two houses. They are filled with the most honourable members that our great country can provide, and I am a classic example. Oink Oink. Shag Shag.

  350. 350
    Archie says:

    Surely they could have seated a few more around that table?

  351. 351
    Archie says:

    Hear bloody hear!

  352. 352
    Archie says:

    Who the fuck is that closest to the camera? Fucking nut case if ever I saw one!

  353. 353
    Archie says:

    Who’s the white bloke at the table? I didn’t think they were allowed in Bradford! What a shit hole this country has become!

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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