October 7th, 2010

Straw Calls Shadow Cabinet Election “Barking Mad” and “Daft”

The Labour Party’s “greasy pole” was slammed on Radio 5 this morning by a self-proclaimed “climber of the greasy pole”, Jack Straw. It seems the old timer is getting grumpy on the way out and is less than impressed with the system of electing the Shadow Cabinet:

“… if you are in the shadow cabinet it is elected, I, from a position of complete neutrality, said to my colleagues, I survived and prospered under this system for ten years, but I just tell you, it is barking mad, for arithmetical reasons as well, it is a daft system, and what it means is that of the eighteen or nineteen people in shadow cabinet, probably a dozen capable of being in the Cabinet, half a dozen are not and if and when we have a Labour government some of those who thought this is a meal ticket in to the proper Cabinet will be sorely disappointed.”

The presenter Nicky Campbell interrupted to ask whether Straw would come back on Monday and let the public know who the half-dozen unsuitable members are. Funnily enough the answer was “errrr no”.

Low down the pecking order contest is getting vicious and the rules governing how many women are elected could hurt the likes of Bryant, Bradshaw and Harris. According to punters over at Smarkets at the top Burnham and Khan are vying for the Home Office. There is still no clear frontrunner for the FCO shadow, but Balls is still the favourite for Shadow Chancellor, just, his wife isn’t far behind. By this time tomorrow we shall know whether Labour are opening up yet another family drama narrative…


  1. 1
  2. 2
    Olly boy says:

    The entire concept of the Labour Party and socialism is ‘Barking Mad’.

  3. 3
    Restandbthankful says:

    Is this the new generation Ed Mili-tant promised. Hmmmm.

  4. 4

    Does it really matter? I can’t see any of them fit for government at the moment.

  5. 5

    Sadiq Khan 4 Shadow Foreign Secretary inshallah

  6. 6

    Clutching at Straws…

  7. 7
    Potkettle says:

    Straw is a cock.

  8. 8

    Would that be DeadRedEd then?

  9. 9
    James42 says:

    Straw, “I, from a position of complete neutrality”

    When was that ever the case?

  10. 10
  11. 11
    Can the Khan says:

    Khan for the Home Office. Now that IS barking mad! Just highlights the lack of depth in quality within the Labour ranks these days. A spent party, with a spent ideology, and they spent all our money.

  12. 12
    Warts an' all says:

    Still claiming multiple council tax refunds because the forms are confusing? This talk of “greasy poles” and a “race to the bottom” sounds a bit iffy to me.

    Sod off and soon.

  13. 13

    On the contary Guido, Bryant and Bradshaw have a distinct advantage as they could be elected to the shadow cabinet as 2 of the 13 non-female or 2 of the 6 female contenders, what a gay day indeed!

  14. 14
    one life live it says:

    the majority of posters on this site are loooooooseers

  15. 15
    Wiliam Gaygue says:

    They’re jealous of a Cabinet of the caliber of me, Huhne, Oiky Gove, Fat Ken, even fatter Pickles, token woman Theresa, Gideon, Clegg and all the other giants of politics.

  16. 16
    If Ed Would, Would Wood? says:

    Wicker man.

  17. 17
    Cardinal Kasper says:

    What is Straw banging on about ” about 6 will not be fit for Government” Is this man stupid None one single howling barking mad member of the Labour party is fit for Government.

    You’re all fucked

    peace and love

  18. 18
    Ed Man Walking says:

    Just look at his leader

  19. 19
    U R Nicked says:

    I read that the McCann couple are unhappy that CEOPS is going to be part of the police. I wonder why that is?

  20. 20
    Bobby No-Moore says:

    Don’t mention the score.

  21. 21
    Cardinal Kasper says:

    I think it was a typo he actually said ” from a position of complete stupidity”

    didn’t want the historical record to be obsured.

    We’re all fucked

    peace and love

  22. 22

    Please let Balls be Chancellor.

    “The only way to get out of debt is to spend your way out of it.”
    Ed Balls is an adviser for ‘motion finance’.

  23. 23
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Jack who ? I thught he had died ?

  24. 24

    In fact, how long will it be before the gayers scream discrimination at the 6 women rule and insist on 6 gays in the shadow cabinet.

    Then there will be calls for 6 ethnic minorities on the grounds of racism, before we know it, there will only be 1 white straight English male in the Labour cabinet.

  25. 25
    Gordoom McBreath says:

    Do you mean me?

  26. 26
    Anonymous says:

    This is better than a system where you can put your friends in or stupid people in so that they don’t turn out be a threat to you. Look at Dave’s boys and girls in the cabinet.

  27. 27
    Steve Miliband says:

    Shaun Woodward will be looking to go back to the Conservatives when he doesn’t make it

  28. 28

    Better yet is when the women split into ethnic origin women / non ethnic origin women and transgender ethnic women.

  29. 29
    Mumsnot says:

    You mean those caring socialist parents who went out to dinner with their trendy socialist friends and left their infant children alone in a holiday chalet

  30. 30
    Steve Miliband says:

    The ‘New Generation!’

    Full of err the Old Generation.

    As Kinnock said ‘…we have got our party back!’ – well allright!!

  31. 31
    Caroline Flint says:

    What about us Roma people

  32. 32
    Mike Hunt says:

    That’ll be them.

  33. 33
    MI7 says:

    UFO Plane abduction. This is more News Worthy than UK politics.

  34. 34
    Dave says:

    Me too. I gave you all jobs.

  35. 35
    P. Doff says:

    Claiming expenses?

  36. 36
    Steve Miliband says:

    Was Harman in the talentless, upper class, privately educated quota?

  37. 37
    Who cares? says:

    Rats fighting in a sack. Irrelevant rats, at that.

  38. 38
    Dave says:

    Fit as my boys and girl, cannot be any worse.

  39. 39
    P. Doff says:

    When in Roma… do as the Romans… oh no… wrong country.

  40. 40

    She would be more likely represent the Lesbian faction, on account that her partner won on an all female shortlist.

  41. 41
    Gordon Brown MP says:

    I look forward to 21.00 when I will elect myself as the new Prime Minister along with my lovely wife Susan.

  42. 42
    Dave says:

    Are you joking! Look at mine.

  43. 43
    This should be good for a laugh says:

    There’s a debate coming up in the next 20mins on This Week with Polly Toy Bee and Fraser Nelson. The subject? Whether Labour’s record in office was disastrous or actually good!

  44. 44
    This should be good for a laugh says:

    Sorry, meant to say The Daily Politics. This Week is tonight.

  45. 45

    Is that a picture of Jack demonstrating to Hattie just how stiff and greasy his pole is?

  46. 46
    Dave says:

    I have more then six.

  47. 47
    P Dantic says:

    Caliber = Vauxhall Coupe of the 1990’s or US spelling of the word calibre

  48. 48
    streamfisher says:

    Heard some labour fart Peer in a House of Lords debate proclaiming that reducing the number of civil servants and other public sector employees would reduce the States tax take and lead to a reduction in revenue, this is the level of thinking we are saddled with, hope NICE can get him some altzeimers pills, doddery old fuckers!

  49. 49
    Yosser Hughes says:

    Gissa job

  50. 50
    Red Ed the Manchurian Candidate says:

    What, an expense fiddler who wants to sell the defence of the Realm down the river? A very un-serious man.

  51. 51

    As opposed to Mad Hat, TomTom Harris, Bouncy Balls, mini Cooper, Wrath of Khan, Droning Dromey, Intellectual Abbott, Brainy Burnham, Quitter Dave, Redemption Ed, Liam Burnt…

    The list of labour’s political colossus is shorter than a hen night mini skirt

  52. 52
    Engineer says:

    25.4mmAllah, if you don’t mind. We went metric years ago.

  53. 53
    Engineer says:

    Loo seers? Think you mean “Toilets” Maguire.

  54. 54
    streamfisher says:

    Yes he’s got his party back all right, unelectable for at least 15 years just like the last time he poked his nose in.

  55. 55
    Dave's ethnic origin women / non ethnic origin women/men and transgender ethnic women and Hague's says:

  56. 56
    Engineer says:

    Strange how some politicians only start speaking blindingly obvious truths when they become political has-beens.

  57. 57
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Collossi, sir.

  58. 58
    streamfisher says:

    Why don’t we just have Susan?

  59. 59
    Steve Miliband says:

    Polly trying to say she is not biased

  60. 60
    Edward Balls says:

    The only way forward is more investment, more investment means more growth,increased tax revenue ,simple!!
    You can’t cut your way out of recession.
    The deficit isn’t a problem as long as we can get growth we can keep on paying for it. When I am chancellor these will be my policies!

  61. 61
    Achtung baby says:

  62. 62
    Martin Day says:

    Anyone rushing to sign PFI/PPP deals before the Spending Review could end up with significant additional costs if contracts have to be amended post financial close, warns Guido Fawkes,political blogger

  63. 63
    This should be good for a laugh says:

    Polly gives Labour 6 out of 10. Fraser gives 3.

  64. 64
    13eastie says:


    Here comes the double dip recession.

    It would take a climate change expert to make the chart say otherwise.

  65. 65
    anal twat watch says:

    desperate anal twat = desperate anal twat

  66. 66
    This should be good for a laugh says:

    Fraser ripping Polly to shreds who quickly changed subject.

  67. 67
    Cardinal Kasper says:

    Its a bit like the Morality abduction that has just taken place. UK Government fails to denounce Fascist filth video No pressure because it has been swallowed up by a a passing QUANGOCRACY.

    were all fucked

    peace and love

  68. 68
    streamfisher says:

    She should be an Ofsted inspector.

  69. 69
    I hate New Labour says:

    “when we have a Labour government”.

    Er, jumping the gun a bit there aren’t you Straw?

  70. 70

    Odd that the New Labour boys didn’t abolish this rule when they were killing of clause 4 and then later abolishing on of the PMQs .

    Anyone would have thought they believed they would never lose office – or perhaps those involved knew their careers would be dead then and as selfish socialists ( the only sort) they didn’t care.

  71. 71

    I predict it will be – very good, but Iraq was a mistake..and civil liberties… and not taxing bankers more..but on the whole 8.5/10

  72. 72
    This should be good for a laugh says:

    Brillo just revealed Tory membership has fallen by a third since 2005. Toy Bee will make great hay out of this.

  73. 73
    Engineer says:

    He has, but only from the neck up.

  74. 74
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Get used to this folks. As predicted, the story of the entire 10’s regarding liebour will be nothing but splits and infighting, as if they needed anything else to make them unelectable.

    Notice this current wrangle has nothing to do with the elephant in the room of a man at the top being forced in against the rank and files will.

    This return to liebours comedy Foot and Kinnock era would be much funnier if it hadn’t cost the country so much.

  75. 75
    Looks Like Labour have already decided what Bollocks is doing says:

  76. 76

    You mean they are all a bunch of cocktrumpets ???
    Dave and Ed and Nick’s best MPs are incompetent buffoons ???
    That’s a fucking shocker if you’re a complete dickhead who hasn’t been paying any attention to British politics.

  77. 77
    AC1 says:

    Not a little bit Ironic is a follower of a religion based around war, saying War-Monger.

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    You mean there’s a doubt?

  79. 79
    Cardinal Kasper says:

    Cameron ” The people’s Hypocrite” doing what he does best talking out of his arse. This is the same man who endorsed those nice people at 10:10 who would like to see us all blown up! The same man who while claiming to endorse Unite against fascism will not denounce the 10:10 no pressure video. I am quite sure His Holiness can see right through this bag of shit!!!

    We’re all fucked

    peace and love

  80. 80
    Ireland here we come says:

    and this is before the cuts hit

  81. 81
    AC1 says:


  82. 82
    Mr Ned says:

    I am honestly surprised that he has not defected to one of the coalition parties already.

  83. 83
    Pete Van Man says:

    Don’t you have a dead kiddy fiddler to worship or something?

  84. 84
  85. 85

    Maybe Cyclops would have been more appropriate.

  86. 86
    Bastard says:

    here are the shadow cabinet results …..

    and shadow barking mad minister is …….Jack ‘warmonger in chief’ Straw

    they are all truly baring mad though aren’t they?

  87. 87
    Bastard says:

    here are the shadow cabinet results …..

    and shadow barking mad minister is …….Jack ‘warmonger in chief’ Straw

    they are all truly barking mad though aren’t they?

  88. 88
    Labour Party activist says:

    Labour Party activist = humourless

  89. 89
    Mr Ned says:

    So house prices are slowly becoming more affordable and this is a bad thing? Well maybe some people who were insane enough to listen to Brown and believe he had abolished boom and bust, and then think that property would increase in value forever so bought property after 2005.

    This is a healthy realignment of property values and should be welcomed as a part of creating a more balanced economy.

  90. 90
    The English Taxpayer...the cash cow says:

    The First Ministers of Scotland,Wales & Northern Ireland team up to condemn the speed and depth of the cuts.Now why am I NOT surprised at that……..?????

  91. 91
    Bastard says:


  92. 92
    AC1 says:

    3 is 3 too high.

  93. 93
    Mandys best friend says:

    I want to know more about his ‘greasy pole’.

  94. 94

    Bit of a harsh mark from Polly.
    Did she take marks off for spelling and handwriting?

    Seems a bit unfair on Gordon if she did.

  95. 95
    Lexander says:

    As long as we have the usual collection of lesbians, homosexuals, nose pickers, champagne socialists, blacks, yellows, in betweens and very rich I will be happy never to vote for them.

  96. 96
    Anonymous says:

    Where is Norman Beresford Tebbit gone? Is he still a member of Dave’s conservative party?

  97. 97
    CCHQ fuckwit says:

    anal twats are always hilarious
    they are the life and soul of the party, Hague’s bedroom buddy parties

  98. 98
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    So you’ve never seen a kestrel.

  99. 99
    streamfisher says:

    You forgot the nought percent increase, 8.5/100.

  100. 100
    MI7 says:

    And drugged there kids up with sleeping tablets before they went out.

  101. 101
    Rt Hon Gordon Brown says:

    Where’s my carer? The one they all keep calling my wife. Sharon I think her name is. Tell her to bring my fizzy orange.

  102. 102
    The Shadow Cabinet says:

    we work in harmony

  103. 103
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    House prices going down. fancy that. It was amazing it didnt happen before.

  104. 104
    Sadsick Khunt says:

    If I don’t get the Home Office shadow, I’ll use my favourite card.

  105. 105
    MI7 says:

    if that’s a kestrel i’m ghengis khan

  106. 106
    MI7 says:

    and the earth is till flat.

  107. 107
    Lil OLmey says:

    Since when did Dave have a conservative party ?

  108. 108
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    More likely to be a perigrine actually Mr. Kahn.

  109. 109
    Sir William Waad says:

    More likely a peregrine or some other falcon – kestrels attack prey on the ground.

  110. 110
    Gordon Brown says:

    I watched Mr Cameron’s speech yesterday. It made me so angry, I did a jobby in my underwear. The men in white here weren’t happy about that. I had to sit on the naughty step for a few hours. Bigots.

  111. 111
    MI7 says:

    sorry sockpuppet but the ufo is breaking the laws of physics the way it moves from being stationary to catching up with the plane. How many fucking kestrals have you seen that can move at those speeds and accelerate upwards from being stationary. use your brain.

  112. 112
    Private sector worker says:

    For once, Maritn, you might be right. But any decent company should have covered themselves in the contract.

    Our advice is that we will actually be better off if the govt cancel our contract with them. It’s what expensive lawyers are for…..

  113. 113
    Anonymous says:

    Thought “Call me Dave” is the leader of conservative party.

  114. 114
    MI7 says:

    and disapear into thin air in a cloudless sky.

  115. 115
    Nelson's revenge says:

    As First Ministers they should know these are not cuts but reductions in spending, so when there is possibility of a double dip recession these reductions are reversed to return to increase expenditure.

  116. 116
    bergen says:

    Woodward is far too grand.Some of them are in trade.

  117. 117
    Sir William Waad says:

    It’s Howlin’ Mad Jack.

    Five months ago in May 2010, a cracked political unit were sent into opposition by a military court for crimes they certainly did commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Westminster underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as politicians of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire… The B-Team.

  118. 118
    Shrek & Princess Fiona says:

    That looks really realistic.

  119. 119
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I was thinking more about mobbing behaviour. Although I must admit kestrels don’t mob very often.

  120. 120
    troughers still says:

    I wonder if the authorities cut the ex-MP pension to Iris Robinson after she resigned in disgrace…or is she receiving the full whack.
    Maybe First Minister of NI, Peter Robinson, could let us all know.

  121. 121
    Stoke says:

    If I had any input into the shadow cabinet debate, it would be to hand each of them a knife.

  122. 122
    Albi Here says:

    No c*st ir*n Dave is the leader of the NuConned us party,the Conservative party died years ago when it found that the only way back was to behave as a Liarboor sh*te party ,it’s members comitted suicide or comitted suicide threw away all their scruples and joined wavy Davey in his bid for power,note: this was for power NOT public service.

  123. 123
    Cuddle Cat says:

    Look, how many times do I need to repeat that they were only dining with friends! Just as you or I might do any night of the week. They had a babysitter there for the younger two, the babysitter was many months older than her two charges.

    The UK police thoroughly investigated the potential of brining charges including neglect but it was thought that as they were ‘dining’ and not simply eating they were beyond reproach.

    Repeat after me – dining with friends!

  124. 124
    Cuddle Cat says:

    I couldn’t give a flying fuck what they think. Why do they prostitute themselves so much?

    Cheap fuckers.

  125. 125
    Cuddle Cat says:

    Look, how many times do I need to repeat that they were only dining with friends! Just as you or I might do any night of the week. They had a babysitter there for the younger two, the babysitter was many months older than her two charges.

    The UK plod thoroughly investigated the potential of bringing ch*ar*ges including neglect but it was thought that as they were ‘dining’ and not simply eating they were beyond reproach.

    Repeat after me – dining with friends!

  126. 126
    Cuddle Cat says:

    Look, how many times do I need to repeat that they were only dining with friends! Just as you or I might do any night of the week. They had a b_aby sitter there for the younger two, the b_aby sitter was many months older than her two very young charges.

    The UK plod thoroughly investigated the potential of bringing ch ar _ges including neg_ lect but it was thought that as they were ‘dining’ and not simply ‘eating’ they were beyond reproach.

    Repeat after me – dining with friends!

  127. 127
    Cuddle Cat says:

    Look, how many timës do I nëëd to rëpëat that thëy wërë only dining with friënds! Just as you or I might do any night of thë wëëk. Thëy had a babysittër thërë for thë youngër two, thë babysittër was many months oldër than hër two vëry young chargës.

    Thë UK plod thoroughly invëstigatëd thë potëntial of bringing chargës including nëglëct but it was thought that as thëy wërë ‘dining’ and not simply ‘ëating’ as thë rëst of us do thëy wërë bëyond rëproach.

    Rëpëat aftër më – dining with friënds!

    (fucking moderation bollocks)

  128. 128
    the beast of clerkenwell says:

    Woman stoner!

  129. 129
    GrimeLord says:

    Tesco’s club card?

    Do you get double points

  130. 130
    Postal Vote says:

    Straw could say the same about postal voting in general elections but he keeps rather quiet about that …

  131. 131
    Airey Belvoir says:

    O/T but the best description of the Miliband Bros psychodrama: “A Geek Tragedy”.

  132. 132
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Be quiet Flint and get back to work, those pegs and bunches of lucky heather won’t sell themselves.

  133. 133
    Albi Here says:

    Sir Billy,you appear to be a very optimistic person,”The B Team”, no, more like the ZZZZZZZZZZZ Team even then I wouldn’t be calling for help from them,calling them,lieing,thieving gits yes.

  134. 134
    Senator Bloodn' Gore says:

    Not been to Leicester recently then?

  135. 135
    Albi Here says:

    moderated again ,I give up.

  136. 136
    Senator Bloodn' Gore says:

    No, no, no he was saying pay them and then we can tax then instead of don’t pay them then we have to pay them (unemployment etc.) but don’t get the tax – simple. If you’re earning £100k/year as a civil servant then your tax will be £30k (plus NI) unemployment will be er…………£100k for the first year + housing allowance, retraining etc.. See the previous Government made sure that it was almost certainly better not to work why are all these public sector people moaning?

  137. 137
    Senator Bloodn' Gore says:

    He only abolished Boom and then majored on Bust.

  138. 138
    Tossflap Watch Is Back With A Vengeance!!!! says:

    You fucking deranged tossflap.

  139. 139
    Dave Mili says:

    Welcome to the world view, Jack. Nice on the outside, eh? Quite crystal clear in clarity. However you forgot to add ‘bunch of Hoons’.

  140. 140
    13eastie says:

    3.6% in a month is not slow, healthy, or a re-alignment.

    Absolute declines in property cause falls in output elsewhere. They don’t increase demand or volume. They scare people off and associated negative equity stops people from selling.

    House prices are one of the best indicators of confidence.

  141. 141
    Edward Balls says:

    Hoping to see you next week Gordon perhaps we can discuss our plans for further ‘investments’ to save the country from these deficit cutters! Give my regards to Sarah if you see her.

  142. 142
    My Considered thoughts on Jack Man of Straw says:

    Ever the opportunist, Jack Straw would sell his granny if he saw political advantage for himself. An odious unprincipled creep of a man.

  143. 143
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    You said it.

  144. 144
    Anonymous says:

    Why are you defending a Paedo ? You protest to much I think.

  145. 145
    This is small and that is far away. says:

    Its not a UFO breaking the Laws of Physics at all you knob jockey. Its a flea on the lens of the camera. Fuck me no wonder some people vote Labour when they are as gullible as this !!!

  146. 146
    "Mrs" T says:

    What you talking about , FOOL !

  147. 147
    Wanker Watch says:

    Is it just me or is Jack demonstrating his technique for knocking off a Hand Shandy in the pic for this item ?

  148. 148
    Unsworth says:

    Gipsy Tart

  149. 149
    Animal says:

    Straw’s mangling of English is almost on a par with Prescott and the awful grammar of the posts on this blog. Useless nark.

  150. 150
    Old dog no tricks says:

    I had to see my bank manager today about my credit cards and loans not being paid off ! I told him that I wanted more money so that I could follow Gordon (I saved the worlds) advice and spend my way out of debt !

    He said – fuck off and give me your credit cards now !

    I think he was being most unreasonable !

  151. 151
    Old dog no tricks says:

    Seconded !

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