LibDems Try To Hire Apprentice
Bad news for Lembit Opik – it seems that Cowley Street doesn’t have faith in his bid to be London Mayor. Much like the Tories were before Boris threw his hat in the ring, the LibDems are desperately seeking a decent candidate for the coalition’s first big election battle. A yellow spinner said “that’s not the way we would do it”, but Guido hears that senior LibDems have approached The Apprentice winner Tim Campbell and asked him to put his name forward…
A rather odd choice of candidate given a) Campbell is not a LibDem and b) he has just taken up a role advising Boris.
Who ? Dont watchBBC
Surely, in the spirit of coalition, the Lib-Dems should put forward Lembit so as to avoid splitting their vote and allowing th*rs*y Ken back in.
This coalition sham really is a load of crap. If they are working together and all is peace and free love why are the LimpDumbs even fielding a candidate?
Labour Back in Power May 2011!
Not content with having offended the entire UK (and our most important ally to boot) by freeing Britain’s worst ever mass murderer, Nicola Sturgeon of the Scotch National Party is offering next year’s Holyrood election on a silver plate to Labour by proposing a minumum 45p / unit retail price for alcohol.
This would set fixed prices accross the ‘nation’ for items such as the following:
I think we’ll find out how important home rule is to the Scotch soon enough.
Presumably the authoritarian cow wants to live in a one party state, though not her own.
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HOME BRHOO, SUKKER
A TENNER BUY DA BINFULL
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GHAEDEAUX, MON BON SHAGG
LET*S TORKQUE ABAOUWT JOANNA LHUMLEA BEEYIN
MHYYRRHESSE O\./ LUN DUN
B FOUR DA SHITPOSTPLUGGERS B LOWE START FILLING IN
JOANNA PLHUMLy HAZZ A KLAENE SL8*
AND JOANNA NOSE OUHELL HAO TWO TUNGTORQUE TWO HAMS
AND OUESTMINCESTIR SPAMS
AND HAO TU GHETi HERR PRYHORRyTEASZE RITE
WYYDD JOANNA PLHUMLEE IN DA EGGSCHELLE OPPO SIGHT,
DA YOLKQUE OUILL B ON DA P*HOOFTERS,
AND JOANNA OUILL EMPLUOY MORE GURLS
FOUR DA BONY FIDO SIEVEILLE CERVHISS BUOYS
DAT IS HAO IT OUILL WURQK AOUWT
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HAO IS JOANNA LHUMLEE, GHAEDEAUX
HA\/ YU HERD ENKNEE TYEWMHEURRES
ENKNEE RHOOBARB
ORE IS JOANNA KNOT PLAYING ENNy MWHORE
JOANNA SHOOD START DA LUN DUN BARE TEA PARTY FOUR A LARF
AND HA\/ GHEURRHKQYN BARE AS HERR KHAMP PAIN M#KOT
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is ‘im a batty boi? troot be tol’ im a big token vote grabbah heh heh!
Boris is going to win anyway , Red Ken aint got a hope in hell having been rejected before
I like hard hard cock in my arse.
If not Lembit, why not the Cheeky Girls?
Got my vote.
Not for me thanks
If the Cheeky Girls got the mayoralty, would we all have to rise when they entered the room?
At least that would sort out the men from the boy-fanciers.
ou’ve got to love the tactics of the left. When you can’t beat them on policy, ‘nail’(excuse the pun) them on personal issues.
So, a reminder to you Labour freaks of the actions of the former, ahem, ‘Right Honorable’ Deputy Prime Minister, (now, and it’s not hypocritical AT ALL Lord Prescott) is in order methinks.
The fact that Mr Vague had to reference his wifes miscarriages to answer this s*&t says more about his accusers lack of morality than his own, whether he likes to tap young man arse or not. Is that the best labour can come up with? Sleaze……again?
Everybody knows the tories have a ‘do as i say not do as i do’ policy on morality, so even if it’s true, get this labour
1. In the 21st century, it’s irrelevant.
2. Sleaze is old news.
I feel sorry for him & his wife. This is what you’ve done to politics labour. You’ve made a boy from the welsh valley heartlands feel sorry for Tory Boy Mk 1. Nice tactic, i’m not sure it’s going to win you the next election (or 5).
Vote Diane Abbott so that your party at least generates some interest. If Balls wins he’ll never win an argument, just shout ‘BALLS!’ at him every time he speaks, if one of the MiliBLANDS get it i’ll fall asleep in protest. Apparently they’ve got a token northerner too, how quaint. No scots though, thank fuck.
What about simon Hughes ?
is this bloke a gay spad ?
Bigoted homophobe!
You forgot ‘misogynist’.
and fascist
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MHISSODGJYINMISSED
IN MHISST
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Having worked with Tim on the Apprentice I cannot say enough good things about him – If his politics makes him a Lib dem, fine – He will however find himself way out of his depth when “swimming with sharks” to quote Alan Clark
How old is the silly Huhne? There’s something of the SpAd about him.
And for fucksake LibDums, hoist your banner around cheap ephemeral celebrity and you’ll seem relevant only until nulabor wheel out that grotesque Lily Allen thing again.
Try thinking up some liberal policies instead. Try to be more like Lembit.
Tim nice but dim.
OT
Here’s one for you Guido. Not content with benefitting from multiple voting in the parliamentary and council elections Labour likes to have multiple votes in its own leadership elections…
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-11162916
Labour MPs, MEPs, party members and members of affiliated trade unions and socialist societies are all entitled to take part in the contest.
But people can register for more than one vote by joining different bodies.
Senior MP Tony Lloyd said it reflected Labour’s federal nature and that they had never said the contest was run on a strictly one member, one vote basis.
UK council elections and general elections must likewise be run according to Labour’s ‘federal nature’.
‘Feral nature’ surely?
Feudal
Corrupt
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KHWEEUR
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Charles Kennedy anyone?
Make mine a double
Hi , My names Tim Lovejoy and i am a BBC legend who is not running for Mayor.
Ps More money for the BBC so they can employ top talant like me .
Ker Ching !!!!
You are welcome back at the pink windmill anytime son
MP drunk, recorded making allegations regarding Hagues sexuality
that sounds a lot like Nigel Farage.
more details please
That’s not Farage, whoever it is has spent a fair amount of time in Wales or the west midlands. And Farage spent April in Buckingham and May in hospital / resting at home.
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http://www.londonethnicradio.com/londonturkishradio-listenagain.html
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Bloody hell, these “MP groupies” are thick as shit….. Hoping for an illicit shag and a paytime from Max Citerus
Maybe Ffion is not good enough at Judo? Anyone up for a grapple Ollie Reid/Alan Bates style?
Errrr – have you actually listened to that recording? That ‘proves’ Hague is gay in the same sense that it ‘proves’ the Theory of Relativity.
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DA THEORY O\/ RELLATIFFyTEA PRHOOVES
DAT AL BEURRT EYE N STEYN
WOSZ WRHAOUWND DA LHOOP
AZSWELLIE AS WRAOUWND DA BEND
A OUILLO HAGG
OUYYDDO HAGUE IS DA PHRRHENTCH WHYTCH
BOSHMAE QHONNy
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yeah right. Its not August any more.
Even if it feels like it on a French beach.
Why does everone keep suggesting knob heads for london mayor.
Because London is 60% knob heads 35% Muslims and 5% cockneys, knob head vote is key.
the numbers should add up to more than 100%
The other 10% are orcs, they don’t vote.
They do in Kirkcaldy.
I tried an apprentice once.
But I didn’t like it.
And don’t forget that the 35% Muslims get a dozen postal votes each…..
Well that’s only fair isn’t it?
Yeah but , What do Mossad think ?
Mossad don’t think – they just act.
illegally
Legality… …Schmegality. We don’t give a fuck about your legality. And nor will we until the USA stops turning a blind eye.
The LibDems are an irrelevance. Ignore them and they’ll go away.
If I keep very quiet I will be able to hear them – they have bugged my teddy bear. I think hey put something into my fizzy orange so they can hear my thoughts.
They’re using the straw as an antennae Gordon.
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4pm. 2.10.2010
Mr Brhoon has had a quiet day under heavy sedation following his severe relapse yesterday. All copies of the previous Prime Minister’s book have been removed from his immediate environment and no-one is allowed to mention it.
‘A further bulletin will be released at the same time tomorrow for those who wish to be acquainted with his progress.
‘Signed. (Dr) Batty MacTatty, Director
http://www.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/6245803/browns-plan-for-the-future.thtml
McBust is going to “save” Africa. God help them, the loon believes his own deranged fantasies.
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Can’t we have more dwarf related stories?
no they get short shrift
That’s not big and it’s not funny.
It comes in under the radar though.
I think that one went over their heads.
This article about dwarfs is a stub. You can help Guidopedia by expanding it.
Yo am not ta say dat ‘Short’ word or da uvva wurds wot says da bleedin obvus!
I have a short one
The Apprentice is full of wannabee TV stars who reckon they are experienced business people. On the whole they aren’t.
Perhaps they could choose an X factor winner or a Big Brother idiot.
Mayor Susan Boyle
Mayor Josie
Or maybe just have someone ‘normal’ and not utterly full of themselves and thus likely to be in it for selfish reasons above anything else.
Surely “The Government” is full of wannabee TV stars who reckon they are experienced people. On the whole they aren’t.
Politics is showbiz for ugly people.
If they’re so ugly they can’t get into showbiz or politics they go on reality TV. Nuff said.
In the good old days this ****** would have been cutting sugar not working for a *** of the same name
Wait Wait Wait. Back up. Im pretty sure this article refers to Boris as ‘decent’. Whatever next?! ‘Lloyd George was a good family man’? ‘Gordon Brown has people skills’?
Il admit, being welsh, i feel uncomfortable commenting on your wonderful language, but surely the word ‘decent’ cannot be applied to Boris, can it?
Then again, labour are apparently having a ‘leadership’ election. Whatever next! Is english losing all meaning? Or has my hillbilly hick brain just stopped processing the subtle changes?
Help me! Im confused!
Hey Mr Tallyman tally me banana
daylight come and I wanna go home
In reply to Beast — I haven’t got a banana. Guido’s Reply feature’s gone wrong (again)
Racist bigot!
We know that you are
If it wasnt for the fact that you were of a dusky hue you would be licking envelopes in the BBC mail room or claiming grants for some yoof project
Innit
I say, sir! Dashed unsporting! Dashed untrue, as it happens.
I prefer licking men’s ring pieces. Ooh ducky!
Sir Trevor, I can understand. But Dotun Adeboyo (of BBC Radio 5′s late night graveyard slot) leaves me totally unimpressed, ever since he left their ‘Brief Lives’ obituaries programme, where he performed a useful service in reporting the lives of people who would never have merited even a quarter page in the Telegraph.
He’s got an MBE, for some reason: ‘for services to insomniacs smashing in their radios from anger at how far the BBC is dumbed down’?
Advising Boris….
Oh no, please don’t tell me bonking Boris is a bicycling bender?
For god’s sake, just when you think politics can’t get any more ridiculous something like this comes along. Why don’t they go all the way and get someone from Countdown?
Or put someone from Playschool in the House of Lords.
How ridiculous would that be, eh! What the f***?!
It’s all about inclusion silly! Any talent someone has is neither here nor there. A talent for ripping off the small people however is very much encouraged.
Talents do matter – for example, the talent of being black, or the talent of being female or the talent of being both.
What can be more ridiculous than Prescott – Lord of Pies?
Does it matter…the LibDems have f*c* all chance of winning this or any other future election.They’re totally f*c*ed electorally
He looks like a lizard !
Advising Boris coz he iz blak and can get dahn wit th yoot (many of whom seem perfectly happy to be left alone to shoot and knife each other thank you)? Reporting of most crimes of this nature seem to go hand in hand with the word “Trident”.
Abbott should be running for the Labour leadership on a ‘deport all black males of fathering age’ platform … she may have a point.
Only a tenth of the population give a monkeys who gets elected as London Mayor. Why waste time on a minority interest. London is a money pump sucking the life blood out of the rest of us. Who cares?
Don’t you understand? London is an international financial centre and us party types are in hock with the tossers who run the place.
Not doting on London’s little foibles and games is akin to biting the hand that feeds you.
In any case Europe says we have to have mayors etc. as it continues the mirage that people have some control over their silly small lives. It also provides us with even more employment opportunities with which to feather our retirement nests.
It’s a “money pump sucking the life blood out of the rest of us” but is a minority interest no ones outside of london cares about?
have you thought this through?
GORDEYSPLOOTEYBOT-BOT! (grape) (crest) HOMOPHOBE! (cuttle) SKREEEEWKK!!!
The butler done it !
What on earth are Tim Campbell’s qualities? I view him as the FRank Bruno of the bsuiness world. Know what I mean Sir Alan!
3 Current England footballers are gay
Steady on old boy, that’s just not cricket.
So what?
There’s 11 of the fuckers who can’t play football either
And crap at football
Ok we’re shit and we know it. But we only had 3 poofters in our squad of 22. That’s small beer when you look at this government, and nuffink compared to them labour muppets. Who’s the libdems?
Christmas is coming.
What should we get Gordon?
Nokia warranty?
Waterstones credit valid for recent political memoirs?
Sock puppet of Ed Balls?
Tony Blair punchbag?
Dignitas vouchers?
A new “Wife”
Bulk saver pack of black marker pens?
How about a trained, invisible Parrot that sploots in his chloral hydrate and croaks ‘Nevermore’ at random, but frequent, intervals?
That’s what I had last year!
A Vuvuzela ?
A dildo ? Pref with nails attached
A Iain Dale poster ?
A dose of reallity ?
A radio microphone and remote recording equipment?
An overdraft facility representative of his personal means?
Office trolley ?
I’m just going to give him a tie as usual. He seems to get through them so quickly.
Yes a tie — the Nanny State one from these people… http://www.old-town.co.uk/products/ties.htm
If the idiot is an apprentice doesn’t this indicate he knows fuck all about fuck all just now? Way to go LimpDumbs!
This guy is as qualified to be Mayor as he is as a Special Adviser at the Foreign Office.
Surely “as qualified to be Prime Minister”
Of Zimbabwe
The last time the Lib Dumps had a mayoral candidate it was a “bent” ex copper
Now they seem to have chosen Tarzans chum
Yo am not ta say dat ‘Short’ word or da uvva wurds wot says da bleedin obvus!
that guy ed fordham would be a guid shout.
what about the special one ? even they could tempt him ?
Yes the BBC has been guilty of chronic left-wing bias – but that is now the past. It looks as though we might lose our luxurious lifestyles paid for via the licence fee, so we promise to be more balanced in future (at least until we have negotiated a favourable licence fee with the Government.
Said the spokesman for the “Official Opposition” and “Anti-Coalition Alliance”
Does anybody else have the vague feeling that some quiet, unrecorded conversations have taken place between senior beeboids and senior politicians along the line of, “License Fee….saving public money…Charter obligations…political balance….wouldn’t want things to get nasty and public…”?
Think also the Minister for Culture Media and Sport has made public noises about value for the License Fee payer and possible reduction of same.
Let’s hope so.
They’re going on strike, that should be a opportunity for a good shake out. I went to an Any Questions recording the other week… it was surreal, all the shit I’d thought about the BBC was confirmed.
Recent winners of the Apprentice have all had the habit of jumping into bed with their new colleagues and getting themselves up the duff when any serious business people would have concentrated on making a success of their new career. I trust all Sugars appointments aren’t as bad as this since it says a lot about his judgement.
It says everything about his judgement, follow the track records of his hirelings, most mediocre.
I wonder if this political betting site has odds on which minister will be the third ConDem one to be caught with a rentboy?
David Cameron goes into the Doctor, Doctor says “right, I need a urine Sample a poo sample and a sperm sample all bringing in tomorrow”
David Cameron leaves the doctors and goes home to Samantha”well what did the doctor say?” Samantha asked
David Cameron replies, “ermm for some reason he wants me to bring a pair of your knickers!”
Told you before – stop pinching other people’s screen-names.
Stop posting old jokes, too. Do us all a favour and find some new ones.
pfffff…….BALLS!
Ha ha – a monkey as Mayor of London. That cheap mong black bastard will legalise pimping, and crack, and will have fat tattooed white-trash slappers selling melons on street corners.
Send the spoons back to Africa.
Is he a shirt lifter? Where is he flocking from? When are we going to start picking on people with disabilities, retards? The we can pick on the moozies and then the lezzies and anyone who under 5′ tall, fookin dwarves. Then we can start on the old coffin dodgers. Then soap dodging sponging students. Then the workshy socialist. Then the nutjob psychos.
Do not ever pick on the middle classes
bets best
best
No offence to Tim but the LIBDems are getting desparate I think
I believe that the Lib Dems should select Lembit Opik. Lembit is keen to take the challenge on and is a true Liberal. This will not be an easy election for the Lib Dems but politics is unpredictable, and the party could construct a campaign behind Lembit who is both a politician and widely known. It seems pretty clear that Lembit is the only Lib Dem who wants to do this. Press ganging someone to be our mayoral candidate will not help in the long run. Let’s go with Lembit.
Ed Joyce