August 13th, 2010

News From the “Prison Camp”

Is summer dragging on? Are you tired of shopping? As the kids get restless, where better to spend a happy afternoon than at the Crazy Water Aqua Fun Park. In Gaza.

“The landscaped water park features three swimming pools, three water slides, ponds with pedal boats, a restaurant, a cafe, and a quiet area shaded by a tent where adults can sit on carpets and listen to music.”

Don’t tell Ken Clarke, he will want to build one at Pentonville.


  1. 1
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Sorry Guido i disagree , There are plenty of nice shopping centres in London and round the corner a fuckin shithole full of crackheads pimping there girl friends , One snapshot dont always tell the whole story .


    • 4
      Gone Fuckin mental says:

      And by the way there both to blame for the situation , Innocent people on both sides die becauseof over inflated egos


      • 8
        Drunk lawyer says:


        Also, my grandfather was detained during the war at a prison camp in Bavaria, which allowed the detainees (British and American businessmen who had found themselves behing enemy lines) to put on plays, stroll around in suits and even have a game or two of cricket. Nevertheless, they still considered it a prison due to the men with guns who would prevent them leaving on pain of death.


    • 26
      Tuscan Tony says:

      Two different but fouled up uses of the word “there”, Mr. Mental. Tsk tsk tsk,


      • 27
        Gone Fuckin mental says:

        But you get my drift ?


        • 35

          I do: I got an email the other day showing Gaza child brides, there’s a big back story that didn’t come across in it, which was a bit of a shame because the revoltingness of the idea was thus lost in the spinning.


    • 30
      MI5 says:

      Of couyrse it does not…

      Guido goes mad on Gaza

      Have a look to get a real impression

      Mossad really have got at Gudio…

      Perhaps it is jos former employment with Rupert

      And Rupert’s mother was an orthoxod j…

      Which everyone tries to suppress…


      • 181
        Anonymous says:

        So Stalin really got at you then, or maybe the Global world saver or may Tony the Middle East savoiuor, or maybe the real paece maker Martin The McGuinees… get of my back Charlie


    • 34
      Billy Smooth says:

      Poor analogy mental. We arent claiming a humanitarian crisis and sending out the wailing mothers any time a foreign TV crew is about.

      If the Gazans can afford to keep some in the height of luxury, there is no fucking crisis. Its a con and you have fallen for it, you shmuck.


      • 65
        Engineer says:

        Are you suggesting that Gaza is a paradise, and that there’s no problem? If there was no problem, why the need to board and search ships destined for Gaza?

        Nobody with an ounce of sense suggests that there isn’t terrorist activity. It’s just that for somewhere that doesn’t have a crisis (as you put it) there seems to have been a problem for a very long time. Strongly suspect that things are not that simple; if they were, the problem would have been solved many moons ago.


        • 82
          Billy Smooth says:

          No, didnt say that. All I am saying is if the Gazans can build fucking water fun parks, luxury shopping centres and the like, while some of their population are allegedly starving in third world conditions then its hardly the Israelis fault.

          I wouldnt be surprised if there was a crisis, in certain areas (I dont know, havent been there), but its one of their own making.

          Dry your eyes, pinko.


          • sockpuppet #4 says:

            you appear to be saying that you want Gaza to be run on very socialist lines. If some of them are getting rich they should redistribute it all to the poor ones eh?

            It appears to have a rather wobbly and unregulated free market, powered by stuff they can smuggle in.

            Oh, and you’ve swallowed some shit if you call that thing from the other week a “luxury shopping centre”. looked more like a set of pound shops under one roof. with a staircase. oooh the luxury.


          • Engineer says:

            There’s no need to be offensive – I don’t appreciate being called a pinko, mainly because I’m not one. I’m a completely neutral bloke living in North-West England (and of neither of the main religions involved) who’s knowledge of this subject is limited to what I learn from the media – so in other words, not all that deep. However, even I can work out that as there are deaths on both sides, there’s clearly a big problem. Why? Beyond my understanding. However, it is clear from the media that not all of Gaza is a paradise.

            If the Middle East question is to be answered, perhaps we might all contribute by moderating language and recognising that both sides have points worth considering.


          • sockpuppet #4 says:

            actually engineer. he appears to be the pinko.


          • Billy Smooth says:

            Sorry, I retract my pinko slur. Was meant in semi-humour but was very unfair.


          • Engineer says:



        • 185
          Old dog no tricks says:

          If the Israelies really wanted to hurt the people living in Gaza do you not think it would be prudent to start by cutting of all of their power supplies ? You never know – this might actually result in cholera taking hold and really doing some damage. Get it into your head that the terrorists work from within civilian communities (for goodness sake – even the BEEB managed to show a program with proved this without a shadow of doubt !) purely so that they can cry foul when said civilians get killed.
          If they didn’t hide amongst the civvies – then who would be up in arms about the israelies killing terrorists in retaliation – uhhh – Nobody ! The PLO learned in the 70’s that killing civvies was not a popular thing to do and used that knowledge to turn foolish peoples ideas around. They use propaganda me old mate ! Learn to sift the truth from the flimflam. Maybe turn off the BEEB once in a while.


      • 94
        God save arse holes says:

        So this is all fake scenery then?


        • 139
          Billy Smooth says:

          Good that you seek divine salvation of your sacred places….

          Seriously, what do these people expect to happen if they fire rockets at Israel? I didnt see any starving kids though. Funny that.


          • Anonymous says:

            I think Ireland should bomb**t they already did that and now they get paid expenses..stupid of me.


        • 189
          Anonymous says:

          my uncle has been to Gaza many times. He reports that, if there is a whole square of perfectly solid houses bar one that’s been damaged, the camera crews will make sure they get the damaged building in the shot.

          Likewise with the infamous ‘wall’ – in most places it’s little more than a chainlink fence which is more easily policed than an open field, but camera crews regularly go to the only strip (in the middle of Jerusalem) which is high, fortified and riddled with bullet holes.

          The fact of the matter is, media images play up the fighting and devastation in order to sell more stories. They’re hardly going to report on how little impact these things have on day to day lives, are they?


    • 106
      Realist says:

      Even Auschwitz had a swimming pool for the residents.


    • 173
      Osama the Nazarene says:

      Burkini’s not allowed by the naffing Hamas terrosit godfathers.


    • 184
      Alexander says:


      Gaza has about 3 million people – about the same as Greater Birmingham. Same as Republic of Ireland, Wales, Norway.

      Hopefully Gaza is not one huge war zone. The “Crazy Water Park” looked quite tiny but it is good that some facilities like that exist in Gaza.


      • 186
        Old dog no tricks says:

        You’ll probably find that everyone there is related in some way to the Hamas leadership – they wouldn’t want the plebs joining in – they might not appear dirty enough in the propaganda video’s.


  2. 2
    John Cipher says:

    I’m going to “Gaza Strip” tonight for a lappy.


    • 40
      Mr Ned says:

      Gaza Strip trivia.

      Cornwallis Street in Barrow in Furness is a street which in the 1990s was made up of nightclubs. It earned the nickname “the Gaza Strip” by locals by way of being Britain’s most violent street for several years running due to the enormous numbers of fights which broke out there, with stabbings and even murders occurring.

      Ahhhhhhhhh…. Great days indeed! I used to party down the Gaza 3 – 4 nights a week in it’s heyday and although I was only once involved in a fight myself. I held up scoring cards for quite a few.

      Now with 24 hour drinking, the nightclubs don’t all throw the piss-heads onto the street at the same time, which was usually when a lot of fights broke out. the Princess Selandia floating nightclub in the docks also meant that not all the piss-heads were contained in one street. Now people have a choice of location and they do not all come into contact with each other at once. Violent incidents have plummeted.

      The Gaza is now a sad and quiet ghost of it’s former, vibrant and dangerous form.


      • 97
        Scouser says:

        used to send loads of gear up there.


      • 145
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        sounds like many places up north.
        Taxi rank at 11:30pm used to be the top place for a fight.

        New labour really arsed up some fine english traditions.


  3. 3
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Love the music.


    • 32
      Can't remember my moniker says:

      Last time I supported Guido on Gaza, my comment was modded by permanent removal, so excuse me if I hold my tongue this time.


  4. 4
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    No wonder that bloke with a tunnel they had on the radio was so rich.

    He said once they lift the embargo he’s off to mexico to see how much he can make on their border with his tunneling skills.


    • 60
      Mr Ned says:

      You don’t need a tunnel from Mexico. They are not allowed to police the border at all in Arizona and an area extending a couple of hundred miles into the USA so that the drug gangs can get the narcotics into the US markets easily.

      This is with the direct contrivance of the Federal Government. The Arizona State legislature wants to police the border as they are constitutionally mandated to do. the Federal Government is preventing them from doing so.

      And they are targeting Texas too.

      ” After 16 days of denials by Laredo law enforcement and local officials regarding a Mexican drug cartel takeover of a Laredo area ranch, a Texas police blotter proves the alleged incident did in fact happen and that multiple agencies responded to the scene of a seized U.S. ranch.

      Think about it for a moment.

      One of the most brutal drug cartels operating in Mexico crossed the U.S. border and took a ranch from its lawful owner.

      Intimidation has arrived along the southern border.”


  5. 6
    Doctor Mick says:

    I’m sorry to disappoint but those aren’t water slides – I know a curly-wurly rocket launcher when I see one.


  6. 7
    What Language Would You Like Your Driving Theory Test in Sir? says:

    That ZaNuLiebor invention bottom left, the interpreter for diversity equality blah blah blah s talking rubbish


  7. 10
    Google Earth says:

    You’ve been ‘ad Guido, that’s just off the Edware Road, 30th July 2010.


  8. 11
    Gordon Brown says:

    I will make a statement about the Gaza water park to the house Saturday afternoon .


  9. 13
    Sir William Waad says:

    Lady Waad’s packing her burkini now and we’re going tomorrow!


  10. 15
    The optical illusion says:

    The camera can be a prism to sell its snapshots for propanda.


  11. 16
    Potato famine funster says:

    Guido would have made a fine kapo.


  12. 17
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Lets face it , We only dealt with N.I by talking , And yes credit to Both parties , Why cant a similar approch be done here?


    • 33
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      Because neither side drinks guiness.


    • 171
      Billy Smooth says:

      Talking? No utter capitulation to the PIRA followed by a mickey mouse pretend local government. Cant see the Israelis doing that.

      Have you checked the NI news lately anyway?


    • 190
      Enjineer says:

      Because it is in the interest of powerful people on all sides for the current situation to continue.

      For example, without all those images of poor Palistinians being crushed under the boot of the evil baby eating Zionists* plastered all over the media where would the rage of the average Arab (in say, Syria, Jordan Iran…) be directed.

      Their own government perhaps?

      *Not representative of my subtle and nuanced opinion on the conflict, which can be broadly summarized as ‘Fcuk the lot of them’.


  13. 18
    the beast of clerkenwell says:

    Fairs fair the israelis always put on some nice firework displats for them


  14. 18

    Now is a great time of year to visit the Gaza Crazy Water Park – no queues during Ramadan.


  15. 22
    Baroness Thatcher says:

    Appalling isn’t it. Palestinians attempting to live something of a normal life. Why aren’t they all wearing kiiffiyehs and throwing stones at nice Israeli soldiers?

    Come on Guido, it’s not the Palestinians fault that the Grauniad’s most hand wringing misery merchants have attached themselves to the cause. Their country continues to be illegally occupied, a fact in international law and UN resolutions, not just left-wing opinion, a fact that seems to be conveniently forgotten by the media and the allegedly pro-arab BBC.


    • 37
      Ghettobaby says:

      Well said! what twat Guido is for this post……….how dare the palestinians have anything nice in Gaza! Why dosent Guido give living in Gaza a try and see how he enjoys that………….idiot


    • 117
      Floppy Paddle says:

      Guido’s a bit like a 3×2 but they chopped the whole knob off instead of the foreskin. Twat.


  16. 24
    Lovely holiday resort says:

    Apparently, videos that show settler violence get deleted.


  17. 28
    Chutney Ripple says:

    Have they got the stuff in the water that turns blue when you widdle in the pool


  18. 36
    Lord Chief Justice says:

    A little balance please Guido

    No one reasonable supports terrorism…

    But that is not an exucse for Israel to treat the ordinary inhabitants of Gaza like the j…ws of the Third Reich..


    • 42
      Lord Chief Justice says:

      I would add..

      Every Arab State which has aided Moozlim terrorism (there are many) should treated as harshly as we treated the regime of Hitler…

      To be balanced…


      • 58
        Baroness Thatcher says:

        Yep, the list of nasty and despotic Arab leaders is a long one and not all of them had had tea with the Queen, and only a few have Tony Blair on the payroll.

        But remember that many acts of terroism were carried out by Jewish extremists prior to the establishment of the state of Israel, and many of the perpetrators went on to serve in that country’s government.

        As the man says, to be balanced…….


    • 63
      Sir William Waad says:

      I wonder how well we would behave if for 62 years we had been surrounded by nations that had sworn to destroy and kept trying, very seriously, to do so.


      • 74
        Baroness Thatcher says:

        I suppose that depends on whether we would enjoy billions of dollars of American aid and the almost unqualified support of the US government.

        If we didn’t, I guess we’d just have to bend over…….


      • 78
        Baroness Thatcher says:

        Lest anyone should imagine that the Palestinians have a monopoly on terrorism….


      • 125

        Probably about as well as you’d expect, but then we aren’t the ones who insisted on putting a religiously based state in the middle of a lot of other religiously based states who didn’t like the idea, then massacred several villages of locals immediately after independence, are we?

        Should have let them have Utah for their land – the Septics seem to like them.


        • 177
          Must get a pseudonym one day says:

          But in truth, it all goes back to a shabby deal made by Balfour to get the USA to join in the First World War on our side, so who’s fault is it ?


    • 155
      Speak 4 yourself says:

      I support these troffing bastards in parliament being whacked.


  19. 43
    The optical illusion says:

    This is almost as bad as those holocaust deniers.


  20. 44
    Hugh Janus says:

    Slightly O/T, but the Audit Commission is getting the chop:


    • 159
      Shark says:

      wonder if it will be replaced by something with teeth


      • 187
        Old dog no tricks says:

        So the audit commission was supposed to ensure that the taxpayer was getting value for money….. No wonder it is being axed ! And thank goodness ! How could they think that going on Jollies was giving taxpayers value for money ? Not fit for purpose !

        So 50m quid saved – that is one pound less I should pay in tax (once the deficit is cleared !)


  21. 45
    Jack says:

    I have just been watching Central Chiense Television from Beijing

    It is far more objective and intelligent on world affairs (and it is global now in its reporting) than the BBC

    Shocking but true

    Close down and sell off the “BBC”


  22. 47
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Can i go there for my Alahdays ?


  23. 51
    Engineer says:

    Westminster already has many Crazy Water Aqua Fun Parks, but they serve Falling Over Water. Very cheap. This does not always assist wisdom.


  24. 55

    Lol, Fawkes gets the thread wound up again. I fucking piss myself at the knots some people get themselves tied in over fucking Israel and fucking Palestine.

    You’d think this thread was covered in 4×2’s and muslims.

    Oooo, wot about the poor palestinians oooo oooo oooooo but what about the poor juice, ROFL.

    Bomb the fucking lot.


    • 59
      Schrödinger's cat says:

      I am sure some people must have proposed the same solution for NI and Eire!


    • 98
      MI5 says:

      I think you have got it right

      As a famous French diplomat said about isreal a few years ago

      “Why create all this fuss about a f’cking little country with 3 1/2 million inhabitants”…

      As regards the Arabs, sadly since the 17th century they have just gone downhill mentally and spiritually…

      They are in the middle of a major identity/intellectual crisis and are trying to bomb and bluster their way out of it…

      In my world, you meet bombs with bombs…


      • 127
        MI5 definitely not a concrete pump sockpuppet says:

        You really are very bright Mr Pump. I take my hat off to you sir!

        If only more people would agree with me, I mean you.


      • 157

        Daniel Bernard, French Ambassador to London, got the tone about right a few years back when he called Israel a “shitty little country”.

        It perhaps wasn’t the most subtle pieces of diplomacy ever, but since it was delivered at a reception hosted by the fragrant Barbara “is this my credit card, or the comapny’s” Amiel, we can be sure it was deliberate.

        Personally, I think Vespasian had the right idea.


  25. 57
    BAA overpaid Unite member says:

    Dear Guido

    My masters tell me that your boggg (don’t know how to spell that) is infuenctial

    I am a super highly paid technician workig for BAA..

    I am a Unote employee

    My masters trold me that we have not been able to cripple British Airways directly

    So they tell me now to strike to close down the airports BA use..

    Thay way; my masters tell me we will screew the British national flag carrier

    I fink that is the right thing to do…

    Don’t you ? And Thuggie Whelan (and we call him in Unite) agrees and Mr Drome (forgot his first name- does he have one ?) who I funk is is the House of Lords tells me it is great !


    • 70
      Foreign Secretary says:

      Now calm down super technician

      You handle my luggage at Thiefrow don”t you?

      I know why you are striking

      Your General Secretary at Unite told my friend who is a member of the Parliamentary Lobby (and ‘eees a VIP) that you wanted the same rights to have a massage, sauna, nanny and cook aservices (paid by the employerin addition to your salary, free flights etc) as your comrades who work in the Communitiies Department.


  26. 62
    concrete chump says:

    I fucking piss myself at the knots some people get themselves tied in over fucking Northern Ireland.

    You’d think this thread was covered in UDA and IRA

    Oooo, wot about the poor catholics oooo oooo oooooo but what about the poor protestants, ROFL.

    Bomb the fucking lot.


    • 68

      Check my reply at 62, you hit the nail on the head.



    • 108
      MI5 says:

      Quite right again..CC

      I’m beginning toi like you…

      But the solution is to give “independence” to Ulster”

      And let them fight it out…

      In the old days, we had KGB plans stating that they would “turn Ulster into the Ciba of Western Europe” (true)

      Since the USSR has collapsed Ulster has no strategic interest

      So let them get on with it..bomb thieve steal and extort – normal practice I am told…


      • 115
        concrete M.I.Fuckwit says:

        another sockpuppet bites the dust


      • 119
        Alex Sans Couilles Salmond says:

        I am Alex Salmond

        I am King of Jockland

        I demand independence

        On two conditions

        1) That you filthy English pay us £ 1 trillion cash upfront

        2) ttat you give us back our banks.

        Otherwise I will continue to take £ Billions under that lovely Barnet formula and you will continue to pay for our banks…


      • 132

        “The Ciba of Western Europe”

        CIBA – didn’t they make Zyklon-B?


    • 131
      MI5 definitely not a concrete pump sockpuppet says:

      I agree with everything I say! I mean YOU say, sorry, you say… of course.

      shit! did anyone notice or did I get away with it?


  27. 67
    BrianSJ says:

    What is the pizza like?


  28. 71
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m available for babysitting.


  29. 72
    Where's the sploot fellow? says:

    I wuv Gordie.


  30. 85
    Hasbara says:

    Well they can hardly go to the beach without putting themselves at risk of being shelled and shot at can they?.

    How many swimming pools for Palestinians in the West Bank? The water has been taken from the West Bank aquifer by the colonists many of whom have their own swimming pool.


  31. 96
    BrokeBack Cameron says:


    • 99
      pathetic whining pussy says:





      • 113
        Liddle Liebore twoll luvs his Gordie says:

        Gordie splooges on me evewy night! I wuv my Gordie! Splooge for me Gordie, splooge for me!


      • 124
        Sir William Waad says:

        Oh dear. The rehab just isn’t working.

        I see you’ve had a lot of rain down South. Up here at Castle MacTavish it’s been glorious and the birds are giving some very decent sport. The Scotch countryside is just so different from the towns – even more than in England – the towns are full of fat, sour-faced, unstable loons on benefits, while the countryside has decent, cheerful folk (mostly on benefits too, it has to be said).


  32. 101
    ADL says:

    Guido Fawkes is a Catholic anti-semite who uses his blog to stir up religious tension. We are monitoring his activity.


    • 104
      concrete pump says:

      I’m monitoring Dave’s fat bottom and wanking furiously

      Fap! Fap! Fap! Fap! Fap! Fap! Fap! Fap! Fap! Fap! Fap! Fap! Fap! #SQUIT#


    • 143
      Honest Bob says:

      I am a co-conspirator and Protestant

      What you say is intergalactic balls

      You are a wacist sectarian…


  33. 103
    Fuse says:

    What the fuck has this to do with blowing parliament up you phony?


  34. 105
    Fuse says:



  35. 107
    PLO says:

    your on our list


  36. 121
    Ed Balls says:

    Καθοριστική ημερομηνία η 29η Σεπτεμβρίου,έστω και τώρα μπορούμε να φέρουμε τα πάνω κάτω και να ξαναπάρουμε τις τύχες μας στα χέρια μας.


  37. 122
    BrokeBack Cameron says:


  38. 128
    Nice Communist Bob says:

    I am the working class

    I am on £110,000 a year with subsidised housing..

    I am a Communist

    I am a member of the Nomenclatura

    I will wreck London for my way of life…

    And I am a penis…


  39. 136
    Martin Day BBC political correspondent says:

    The right wing political blog site Order Order responsible for the failure of the Tories to gain an overall majority in the General Election is to be scrapped, it was announced today.

    Communities and Local Government Secretary Eric Pickles said that Order Order had “lost its way” and would be disbanded.

    The blogging duties will now pass to the Conservative Home – while its in-house jokes will be transferred to the private sector.


  40. 140
    Gordie is my hero! says:

    I wuv Gordie! Even when he loses his rag at 2:26 like a total mentalist mong, it gives me the horn! Sploot for me Gordie!


  41. 164
    Duffed up says:

    duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff
    duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff
    duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff


  42. 165
    Ampers says:

    Typical Guido, he misses the real story.

    The Israelis built the “Crazy Water” complex for the Palestinians to make amends for the accidental battle on those boats.

    You must be dense if you didn’t know that!


  43. 168
    Kosher slosher says:



  44. 174
    Indigo says:

    Gosh, put only

    “Crazy Water Aqua” Gaza

    into Google, and the results show that Israel has carpet-bombed the web with what you are supposed to think about this resort. Guido has just cut-and-pasted, as a good little uncritical friend of Israel.

    Soooo, Israel is helping Hamas to be corrupt because it helps Israel. Tell me something I don’t know. There have always been collaborators, and collaborators get rewarded. And then shot.


  45. 179
    Facts not Fictions says:

    Gaza’s problem (and by extension that of Israel and the Palestinian Authority) is that, unlike in a concentration camp, Gaza is in a demographic trap. The population is growing at an enormous rate and life expectancy is rising.

    The problem is that they want land and see it in Israel (and that is instrumentalised in the same way by the Hamas extremists as by corrupt Islamic goverrnments throughtout the world who have demonised Israel to distract from their own problems. Problems caused by similar Third World burgeoning populations and lack of opportunity.

    If the Gazan population has its way, Israel will cease to exist.

    There is a massive Islamic inspired propaganda campaign underway to score points eg the Turkish sponsored flotilla.

    Human Development Index

    The HDI measures the average progress of a country in human development. The Human Poverty Index (HPI-1), focuses on the proportion of people below certain threshold levels in each of the dimensions of the human development index – living a long and healthy life, having access to education, and a decent standard of living. By looking beyond income deprivation, the HPI-1 represents a multi-dimensional alternative to the $1.25 a day (PPP US$) poverty measure.

    The HPI-1 value of 6.0% for Occupied Palestinian Territories, ranks 24th among 135 countries for which the index has been calculated.


  46. 180
    Anonymous says:

    You kind of lose it when you do stuff like this.


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