Oona’s Open Invite
It seems struggling London Mayor wannabe Oona King is deploying a last ditch open-bar strategy. She tweets enthusiastically:
“YOU are invited to a party at campaign HQ on Wed 11, 6-8pm! Come down and meet me and the team and have a drink! PLEASE spread the word xx”
Guido is happy to oblige. So see you all tomorrow at 6 Heron Quays, London E14 4JB. Over in Canary Wharf. If the evening turns out anything like Oona’s old party days in Vauxhall’s finest after-hours clubs, it will be a messy one…
Can’t remember my moniker thanks Ms King for her invitation but unfortunately shall be swimming ….
I am watching paint dry
Hey! mental! Have you seen my cat anywhere?
I think its over there ( points )
Bugger. Missed it. Give us a shout if you see it again…
No worries
Fuck off.
Sch……….
The Superintendant of the Currrrr-Cuddy Cuckoo’s Nest has released the following statement:
Plans are in hand to install a plaque on the wall of our most illustrious customer as follows:
In this wee room
Jonah Brhoon, The Loon
O’ London Toon
Was confined
Fae’ his oon safety, an’ that o’ others
Joon, twa’ thoosoond an’ toon –
He shat in yon corna’ an’ callt it his jobby!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!
Guido’s doctored the photo to make her look like a c*kehead
Can you do that for every pic of Cameron and Osborne too or is that what CCHQ pays you not to do ?
5 No wonder you are going fucking mental!
“Come down and meet me and the team and have a drink!”
Now that’s an offer I can’t refuse Oona, see you tomorrow.
You must have thought the second day of the working week (that’s a laugh) was always going to be busy seeing as everyone used to say, “C U Next Tuesday.”
distinctly similar upward eye gaze as Diane Flabbot
I want to know if the white mark on her lip is coke or just the remains of her afternoon facial…
I think that some Oonanist has been at work.
I thought Oona King was the name of a Vauxhall night spot…
Struggling?
You mean Communist Ken is preferred to Oona?
It’s our country now, whitey… or at least our city… and if we want a communist and to be rid of freedom we will do as we wish
she is a fuckn loser
She is a waste of space. Curdles yoghurt too.
Hi , My names Tim Lovejoy and i am a BBC legend who likes Oona .
Hey Tim, you couldn’t get it up for Helen, you’ll never get it up for Oona.
Timmy needs it up the kyber.
Is this have a drink on Oona, or just have a drink, which you pay for yourself?
If I have to travel to pay for my own drinks then there is no benefit at all only the hassle of the traveling.
Given that the campaign HQ is not licensed premises there’s a fair chance that there’ll be some free Lambrusco going.
I ain’t going unless she’s buying – that’s the serious point. No mention of her putting a couple of grand behind the bar so far. She’ll probably be charging – like the ‘rent parties’ she used to organise.
What sort of party only lasts 2 hours? That’s fucking rubbish.
I can imagine Morrisey’s wake will be more lively.
He’s not gone out yet, nor come out, for that matter.
‘rent parties’ – do tell us more!
Please!!
I read that as “rent panties”… my eyesight must be going for some reason!
Nah, she goes commando. Ask That Lying C.unt Strawman!
You mean she’a a rentamob ?
I think she would frighten the children away…
But have never heard of her in fact…
Oona? Martys daughter?
Yes, I see it too.
Which one is her good eye?
And what the fook is hanging out of her nose?
It looks like a white substance…
What have you been up to, Guido ?!
Is she giving free blow jobs ?
Thought that was T ick as Th eves?
Yea but someone missed her mouth
“If the evening turns out anything like Oona’s old party days in Vauxhall’s finest after-hours clubs, it will be a messy one…”
Hoona fucking King, a bit of a party animal? I doubt it.
She looks like the type who nails all the ching and then fucks off home to nail even more ching.
I bet people close to her never let her rack up.
king’s idea of a party is KFC tub and a bottle of vimto…certainly no serious party animal
Her fucking eyes are looking in different directions. You’d trust someone who cant even see straight to be mayor of one of the greatest cities in the world?
Who couldnt even beat that useless self-obsessed bag of shite Galloway?
Nah.
Move on.
I thought she’d been doing some super strength disco biscuits.
Is that her in my soup
http://espanol.video.yahoo.com/watch/4899411/13052528
I think together with the boss eyes and white line under her nose – that Guido is possibly hinting at something…..
speaking of that nonce Galloway , it seems that the late Jörg Haider may have had some millions of Euros stuffed away in Liechtenstein , the proceeds of bigging up Sadam Hussein and Iraq. I seem to remember the nonce spouting much the same nonsense so perhaps he will get caught in the flak as well. Oh please let it happen. This is a link for Spiegel magazine (in english)
http://www.spiegel.de/international/europe/0,1518,710574,00.html
He always denied every such allegation but many must harbour doubts
Nah she being porked up the bum that’s her look of ecstasy when she cum’s, her eyes always went like a fucking gambling machine that’s hit the jackpot.
I should know I used to watch her in the mirror while being her rooster for the day
The last resort of Oona King
Was calling for a boozy fling
But when folk got to Heron Quays
They proved impossible to please
They gulped champagne and chicken bhuna
But still they wouldn’t vote for Oona!
They guzzled down the booze and then
Cast all their votes for dear old Ken.
Sir William Waad-Belloc, you are outed. I suppose you didn’t want to admit to a hyphenated name on this austere but vulgar site. Splendid verse sir!
Which sadly, after all that cost,
Dear old Ken went out and lost.
For Bhagwant, Jerzy, Femi, Doris
All preferred to stick with Boris.
It turned out well for Brian Paddick,
Back to the streets and his friendly addicts…
The truth held here by each poet
Is that these fraudsters morals are completely inchoate.
With their expenses and spin
They are mired deep in sin,
And above this, they all damn well know it!
Both have been rejected by the voters
Rumour has it she will be handing out a free teabag, if you want a hot drink she will piss on it for you!
And if I would like a chocky bicky with it, what would she do?
I’ve only got a plain digestive!
I should be around to liven things up.
Anyway Fawkes, i thought you were on holiday?
Is there a beach near Canary Wharf?
Not as such, but there is this, based at Canary Wharf.
http://www.urbanbeachtanning.co.uk/cw/home
Fawkes in ‘Speedo’s', under a tanning bed, little goggles on.
Savour the thought ladies (or gents).
What you save on the airfares, you lose on the booze prices.
Hmm.. an “interesting” mental picture, if not an altogether alluring one.
Not much fun for the Fawkettes, but hey, in the aftermath of the recession we’re all making sacrifices. Looking on the bright side, it saves having to eat sandwiches half-full of sand.
It must take you a full half day to rake that sand out of your bumhole, sweet tits.
Think he must be on the buses.
ONE EYE ON THE COOKING POT AND THE OTHER UP THE CHIMNEY.
Old song.
She’s Head of Diversity for Channel 4 FFS…
Explains it all…
Boss-eyed bint.
Cash bar for the cash cow?
If you want more, you have to give more…So how much is she willing to give?????
Dr King has my full support.
When she’s washed it I would like to have it back.
I will make a statement to the house on this at 15. 30
You’re too late. 1530 was 480 years ago.
Will George Galloway be coming
I fucking hope not.
George will be cooked live for Washies present…
With welly spicey sauce…
Is she really a space cadet, or is it just a very, very, unfortunate picture ?
It’s called photoshop.
You massive bell end. (p.s. Being one doesn’t mean you have one though.)
Is she another purcell ?
Hang on a cotten picking minute !
From 6-8pm ? what a shit party that will be !
Yeah, like you go to parties all the fucking time.
What is that on her lip? looks like some sort of white substance just below the nostril.
Surely not?
Slightly O/T – but what is a Luxury Parrot??
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1301770/Jobless-benefits-family-new-300k-7-bed-council-home.html
As opposed to a necessary parrot?
Probably the most expensive – Hyacinth Macaw, a stunning example of a psittacine.
Very rare though, so i doubt the scratter family in the Mail story have one.
They’ve probably got red macaws or african greys.
From the size of her belly, it looks as she’s been eating them.
Get stuffed.
Beautiful plumage squire
or Norwegian Blue
Abhaart 800 nicker g’vnor!
I’m invited to all her parties.
i LOVE A CACK in a Posh bog
A new day has dawned has it not?
I heard she likes it up the back door
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010/aug/09/treasury-eu-direct-taxation-plans
one, two, buckle my shoe
three, four, knock on the door
five, six, pick up sticks
seven, nine… at least it will rhyme.
I said to Ellie that she causes me to prematurely ejaculate, ‘when does it occur?’ she asked – I said, ‘usually between hello and would you like to come in!’
Prematurely; that’ll be on Friday night rather than Saturday.
“Saying Balls to your partner
Arse against the wall
If you never get f’cked on a Saturday night
You’ll never ger f’cked at all”
As I keep telling him…
” The problem with socailisim is that you always run out of other peoples money “
I don’t accept that. Running out of excuses for torture is a far more pressing problem for any modern European socialist.
Yeh too true. Err, what exactly is socailisim?
Guido – I think you are going to have to link to your previous use of this graphic for the newbies on here…
five, six, a cupboard full of black pudding chutney
Is that snot or pot under her nostril, in your picture?
Jizz.
Not your jizz I hope concrete….ho ho ho, hee hee hee!!
He he he! Twat!
It’s meant to be c*ke. Which Guido was never hospitalised for abusing.
New Statesman – Cameron’s war on benefit fraud: the unanswered questions
http://www.newstatesman.com
Who the fuck gives a flying fuck what the Staggers thinks?
who gives a fuck what you think weasel
Mastur Bates, is that you? Long time no read, but my luck ran out! How is the herring fishing?
go fuck yourself you shit eating weasel
It IS you, Mastur Bates! Welcome back!
Fraud ‘a cover for hurting the poor’ / Britain / Home – Morning Star
http://www.morningstaronline.co.uk
Good God – does the Morning Star still exist? You must be it’s only reader, Jonty.
It’s well subsidised – it doesn’t need readers.
Everything socialist needs subsidising ‘cos it’s all crap that nobody in their right minds would want
Little wonder you’re a brain damaged ginger twunt, reading the Morning Star.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1301656/Unions-plot-general-strikes-fight-Government-cuts.html
Fuckin lefties
Union barons are secretly plotting a series of crippling general strikes in protest at Government cuts….
Militant union leaders have set aside their differences to focus on drawing up a united package of industrial action aimed at bringing the country to a halt.
The walkouts are expected to involve health workers, teachers, postmen, transport unions, local government staff and others. Up to four million workers could strike in the biggest show of union militancy since the 1970s….
I don’t know who the ‘others’ are, and the ‘transport unions’ could be a problem but if the rest go on strike it won’t make any difference whatsoever, and will merely go to show what how unimportant they are in the short term.
In the short AND long term Sir R…
What do you expect, ‘ Unions call for additional skills training and improved schools to help build private sector economy and prosperity for all’ ?
Wasn’t she on the telly with Alf Garnett and married to Cherie’s dad?
Rob Hayward: The vulnerable MPs who are beginning to feel the heat – Commentators, Opinion – Th
http://www.independent.co.uk
Seventeen Liberal Democrat MPs nearly one-third of Nick Clegg’s parliamentary party will be looking over their shoulders as Labour support recovers. Among those suddenly appearing vulnerable are the party’s deputy leader, Simon Hughes, and Chris Huhne, the Energy and Climate Change Secretary.
Come sooner – I do.
Oh – and the drinks – non-alky of course … which reminds me . . .
My dear Mrs Kensington-Gore
I really can go on no more
I’m covered in sweat
You haven’t **** yet
And look at the time – half-past four!
After writing my book on saving the world and fighting for a fairer country i have decided to apply for the vacant manergers job at Aston Villa fc.
I belive my talents are suited to such a job , My courage , My economic skills, My team leadership skills and my one 2 one skills .
I know all here would like to wish me luck .
Especially the West Brom fans.
who are you again ?
BOING BOING
She any relation to Marty Feldman?
Is Ed Miliband about to get into bed with John McDonnell? « Tribune – Labour leadership gossip, new
http://www.tribunemagazine.co.uk
Vote for Balls !
Will it be as messy as the toilets on Hampstead Heath after the males from the BBC have been in there?
David Laws assures me they are quite safe.
But I still prefer Nick to fuck me senseless in the safety of Number 10.
Fawkes moralising about the dangers of dr.ink and now partying.
Oh dear, oh dear, of dear. That is laughter you can hear.
Hickory dickory dock,
my wife was sucking my cock,
the clock struck two,
I squirted my goo,
then wiped my dick on her frock.
“Vauxhall’s finest after-hours clubs”
Ministry or a more gayer one?
ministry isn’t an ‘after-hours’
It’s open after my local Wetherspoons!
Eds pledges
1 . Free Vuvuzelas
2 . A picture of my naked wife
3 . A free copy of Gordons book on saving the world
4 . The public flogging of Tony Blair
5 . And end to boom and bust.
Vote for me , Vote for change .
Love Ed xx
Any chance of bringing back the Wanky Balls Festival?
Glad to see you have changed item 2 from your original manifesto pledge of
“a naked picture of my wife”.
I am now prepared to consider voting for you but as a sign of your firm intention to guarantee implementation of the manifesto I need you to send me a large sample of the picture of your naked wife.
and I despise coke heads. The coked up Oona King is a sad Labour puppet!
she does suck cock well
I prefer Oona Stubbs
I prefer Worzel Gummidge
Who’s paying for this?
And, bloody typical, holding an event in docklands which disenfranches all those who live in NW, SW and W London, who pay the highest rates and taxes and subsidise the rest.
Oona clearly reliant on the usual suspects of benefit cheats, idle layabouts and state dependants.
‘A drink’? I can see why she lost Tower Hamlets.
O/T
Can you please remove that awful face of Madoff Mandy from this site please Guido..
Makes me ill looking at him…
In addition to my duties in the house (like washing up and cleaning the windows) – I shall be meeting with my ministerial colleagues before welcoming President Obama to Kirkcaldy and touring the local Morrizonz zuperm*arket where I hope to return my world-cup magazine and stickers coz it was all crap.
My new book ‘What a Pisser’ (Ladybird Books) ISBN 001996843 priced at 99p will be out in November and will become a best seller I tell you!!!
Where’s that woman that lived with us? You know, the one that had 2 children, was she the cleaner?
Must go now, I have boys to bathe.
Who are you ?
Sounds like some serious shit you’re on there. Can I have your dealer’s number?
That’s a good photo
http://cyberboris.wordpress.com/2010/08/05/boriss-challengers-on-dodgy-ground-for-2012/
There are huge doubts about ALL the candidates opposing Boris, including Ken Livingstone and interestingly, some of these doubts come from the Guardian.
http://cyberboris.wordpress.com/2010/08/10/what-is-the-point-of-john-biggs/
And while we are on the subject, he sneers, he bullies, he is appallingly rude, what is the point of John Biggs?
She’s as mad as a box of frogs.
She should get together with Nick Griffin, their kids would look like Marty Feldman.
(Yes I know he’s blind in one eye and that this is discrimination.)
some people will do anything to get into power