Monday Morning Cartoon
Another Twittish Tweet from Kerry McCarthy | BBC
What’s the Point of Our Anti-Business Secretary? | Ruth Porter
HuffPo Hiring Pro-Iranian Mehdi “Act of Desperation” | Fox News
Krugman is Seductive, Simplistic and Unrealistic | Jeremy Warner
Lower Taxes, Higher Growth, the Statistical Evidence | CPS
Bash the Unions, Gatecrash the Quangos | ConservativeHome
I Told You So: Euro is Doomed | Douglas Carswell
PM Speaks for the Nation When Bashing Balls | Quentin Letts
Time for an Alliance | Dan Hannan
Farage’s Plan | ConservativeHome
Guardian Open News is a Failure | Heather Brooke
Balls Calls for Deeper Cuts | Speccie
Lessons from the Thirties | CPS
PMQs Idiots | Harry Cole
Jon Cruddas is Not the Messiah | Dan Hodges
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Lord Lamont told ITV News…
“I think the PM is just human and Ed Balls is a pretty irritating person”
Paper bag on the head might work!
Her hubby will be watching Dirty Des’ new channel 5 lineup
“When big wobbling tits attack!”
“The Nazis in colour with tits”
“location, location, hairy bush”
“The Sex Gadget Show”
“Diana – The mystery of her tits and who wanted to kill them”
Sean Macaulay is a screenwriter, humorist and journalist, specializing in symptoms of the post-macho midlife crisis.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/author/sean-macaulay/
that’s really interesting
Please re-live Jacqui Smith’s greatest moment. Nick Robinson, she was not unlucky, she got caught on the fiddle, you silly man.
JJSmith? At least there was someone to acknowledge(The PORNN!leeds)
Strangely I would quite happily squirt my chili sauce over her kebab.
She might have stolen over £100,000 from the taxpayer but she’s still a better prospect than harperson.
Richard Timney would not do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Burqa! JJSmith proves it makeses sense!
Can’t these people just fuck off.
Maybe a sailing holiday around Somali.
Tosser
wank wank
W.W.
The chin count is way too low. Offensive woman was interviewed on Radio 5 Live last week and given a soft ride – the public apparently picked on her and she was found innocent of everything by watchdogs. No way.
Soft ride?
Hubba hubba
Soft ride? It is waay more tahn what I would do to five bellies!
It takes guts to take on a behemoth like the BBC. Five of them to be precise.
A cartoon character I actually recognise!!! Amazing!
I didn’t realise that Liza Tarbuck was the vice chairman of the BBC. Her dad must be very proud.
Esther Rantzen surely? At least she’s got some experience of being in TV, even if That’s Life was a tedious load of old cobblers.
At first I thought it was Janet Street Porter
Sausages
and I’m a REAL Star – just like Norma Desmond. My public adore me, want to see more of me on TV and are begging me to write more articls in the Daily Mail.
I have a knob that looks like a carrot. Unless, of course, you know different.
“So, how about we put on something my husband would like”.
Strap on?
You called?
Yes, I wonder if there are some form of reporting restrictions in place re: that the two films she claimed for, and she alleges her husband watched (Raw Meat 3, and At Your Service), are not exactly, ahem, mainstream hardcore pornography.
The DVD cover of Raw Meat 3 features four naked men. I seem to recall from Googling on the titles the day the story broke that two of then, identified as Duncan and Valentino both have improbably large penuses on display.
The film titles were published in very early (1-2am) editions of that days online papers, including the Telegraph. But by daybreak in the UK they had been edited out.
Funny that, perhaps a more titillating side of the story, just got airbrushed away never to be seen again.
Don’t they have a teenage son?
Hmm.
What on earth could possibly lead this absurd woman to suppose she could ever be worth more than £7,000 pa?
Got a sister in the organisation I believe. That’s how these parasites are able to flit form one lucrative job to another; they’re all got a network of crony contacts in the assorted bogus charities, qangos, public service institutions etc…
Who is also a liar — said her neighbours were lying about how often her sister stayed with her.
Her neighbours were proved to be totally correct.
Like ZaNuLieBor, what Al JaBeeBa does best ….. is lying or deliberately hiding the truth!
Another failed politician who has ideas well above her very limited ability, wanting to join our profligate and left-leaning state broadcaster. Should be a doddle.
Would be surprised if she didn’t get it.
She should go back to giving cookery classes, it’s about her level.
Would you really wish to trust any aspect of your son or daughter’s education to a thieving, lying, failed politician who expected the taxpayer to pay for her porno films? No thanks. In my book she’s completely unemployable in any proper job, given her record.
No doubt she will eventually find some non-job in public life where she can continue to suck, parastically, on the public teat.
How to boil an egg …!
We need a Simon Wiezental figure to hunt these fuckers down and ensure that , in the absence of being banged up, they never receive another penny in tax payers’ money as long as they live.
Yup. Most of these scum have evaded the criminal law so there needs to be strong attacks in print when they apply for public sector jobs.
Challenge them to sue. Its not defamation when their character is already shite. There’s a public interest defence in keeping them away from public money and libel can be defended by showing that what’s printed is true.
Also, would they really welcome the publicity of a court case?
We used to have a school dinner lady that looked a bit like that – come to think of it, it was her actually
That was at Haybridge – Can you believe she learned to tap-dance?
She kept falling into the sink though.
Did you register Jaqui’s cheerful acknowledgement of instant ministerial job-change in a recent interview? No previous qualifications needed!
£100 000 for not knowing where someone lived?
I thought at first that this was a windup and am still unsure if it’s true as I haven’t seen anything about it as yet,but hell’s bells if this is true and our Dave sohh (shit on his head) then is part of the same problem so we are back to square 1 then,with corrupt politicians getting jobs/loads of money way above what they are capable of/worth.
What the fuck.
That’s it, I am definitely not getting a TV in my new place – or if I do, it’ll just be for DVDs.
Just dont pay – I am three years in to non payment. They have sent many threatening letters & BBC thugs to intimidate me – all to no avail – I still have not paid & still have not been to court.
Its a bluff on their part – dont let them into your home & dont let them see your TV switched on.
They are essentially powerless.
Starve the beast – dont pay you TV tax – & if a mere slip of a girl like me can do it you can too.
Good work, susanne.
It is also a good tactic to ask the TVL goons if they have a warrant to search your home. This stopped the TVL ‘representative’ who visited me dead in his tracks. A few days later, after months of nasty, harassing letters, TVL sent me a nice letter asking me for access to my home should one of their goons visit again.
That was in 2006. I haven’t had another letter or visit since, although I have been told they start again after five years, so 2011 might be the year I take action against TVL for harassment.
Furthermore, I don’t have a telly, so I am not breaking the law.
They are nothing more than nasty, money-grabbing, bullying tossflaps
dont have tv
watch on broadband using
http://tvcatchup.com/
simples
Oh come on now guys. If it’s true and Jacqui Smith, she of the troughing, house swapping, video gurgling criminal activity can get a job, any of us can … no??
I don’t get it, what’s all this about? What’s the story here?
Hahahahahaha!
Yep, that is how good these cartoons are. No one understands them. Few people even recognise who is being portrayed.
That’s really funny. Thx for the lol!
Yup, cartoons for people who read the news and know politics. Terrible really.
Or, from the perspective of someone who does read a newspaper article or two, very funny indeed.
You are Richard and Mark and I claim my 5 Pounds.
It seems she told the reported from the Mail on Sunday to ‘Fuck off’.
No bad thing in itself, but not exactly the sort of behavour one expects of ex-Minsters who are now ‘applying for’ new positions involving the unending rip-off of taxpayers.
On second thoughts, maybe that’s exactly the sort if thing we should expect from dishonest immoral scum like her.
She seems an outstanding candidate, has all the qualities we are looking for at the BBC.
What about relocating her to Salford
…..canal.
That may cause a big problem, it would be blocked for weeks and the stench over Greater Manchester would be toxic. Hmm, on second thoughts….
She could do a re-make of the Little & Large show with diddy Hazel Blears!
OK guido readers – which is worse the BBC or the Labour party? Honest question, I really can’t work out where five bellies would be most at home.
Are they not one and the same?
The Labour Part is the military wing of the BBC. Along with the Police, of course.
Not all the police, just the ACPO.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newsvideo/uk-politics-video/7689516/General-Election-2010-Former-Home-Secretary-Jacqui-Smith-loses-Redditch.html
Watching that has again cheered me up this Monday morning….bloody awfull women!!!
“Working for the BBC” only because of troughing oppertunities, THAT’s the only qualifications she has!!!
Cheered up my Monday too.
The lardy trout should follow the sort of path of rehabilitation trodden by John Profumo.
I’d prefect the one taken by John Stonehouse
But she’s a member of the Labour party – you know, the party that cares about the downtrodden and disposessed, no, really.
“Put on something my husband would like”
In your case i would imagine Concrete wellies would be his choice
And a burqa.
was going to say bikini , then had a sudden clash wuth reality
you are right, burka, avec total hijab and niqab to boot
–
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NB Kelly Brook in a transparent burka said to be sight for sore eyes!
The BBC Trust is already seen as a totally ineffective and very expensive poodle, so can it really get any worse if they let her in? It’s just another quango – wasteful and ignored by most.
That’s probably because ‘most’ don’t know anything about how much they earn.
“The BBC Trust is the sovereign body of the BBC, responsible for setting the strategic direction and editorial standards of the BBC. It has a line of accountability directly to licence fee payers.”
Final sentence – really? How do we impose this (alleged) accountability then?
Good point.
All of my complaints got a weasel-worded reply dismissing them.
As do all of mine, even all the replies to their replies that tear apart, item-by-item, the blatant lies and falsehoods in their dismissive replies.
I have not read anything from the BBC that leads me to believe that they give a rat’s ass about their viewers. They only respond to a select politically correct demographic to demonstrate how “right on” they are and in order to pursue a political agenda to subliminally create an “acceptable version of reality” in the minds of their viewers.
The BBC have a very distinct idea of what is acceptable and what is not. What is sane political discourse and open for debate and what is not. What information it will allow the public to debate and get angry/scared/frustrated by and what information must never be fed to the ‘plebs’
The BBC do attempt to “set the norms” of society. You can tell this by the way their commentators/interviewers on the news react whenever any member of the public gives them information outside “the norm”. Often followed by a snide and dismissive, “you are not seriously suggesting that…..” kind of question.
Jacqui Smith looks after her talentless sister!
You still don’t get it do you 5 bellies?
Nobodyy on #TelevisionX has 5 bellies!
This is great.
The BBC is digging its own grave.
Putting that champagne socialist as VP just brings the day closer when the taxpayer says:
“NO MORE!”
I am very happy to be three years into non compliance & non payment of the TV tax. Join me – make a difference – starve the beast to death.
Some more programmes her husband could wath on the BBC
Blue peter
Knob the builder
Are you being serviced ?
Only tool’s and horses
Knobenders
Holby titty
Snatch of the day
The south wank show
Flog it
Thongs of praise
last of the bummer wine
Huntryfile
Yes, yes,yes Minister
Last of the bummer whine
Antiques Peepshow, with Judy Finnigan.
ROFL!
Surely not even the BBC are stupid enough to appoint this woman?
The PR fallout would be enormous, plus observers would be watching and waiting for her first inevitable clanger.
‘watching and waiting for her first inevitable clanger’
That implies that the vice chair of the BBC does something tangible for their £750+ per day plus expenses and the public can scrutinise whatever it is.
Her husband watched TelevisonX” Enough said!
And totally O/T
a programme just for Mark Oaten
The multi coloured plop shop !
why can’t she go back to being a supply teacher in the black country?
She’s had a taste of the perks available to the champagne socialist elite. She won’t be giving those up in a hurry.
Why can’t she go to a black country, preferably deepest Africa.
Not a bad idea, I’m sure she’d find Mali or Burkina Faso a life changing experience.
Fatos might look good in a Burka.
She’d feed a village for a week…
Democratic Republic of Congo.
Then she will see what REAL prejudice against women is. The UK is an absolute paradise of equal opportunities and fairness between the genders compared to DRC.
It even makes Afghanistan look progressive.
And the real shame is the massive amount of media hype over what Saddam was doing to his people (and many examples of the most brutal tortures and executions have since been independently proven to be false and invented for propaganda purposes) as a push to an unnecessary war, yet millions have been killed and butchered in the Congo and it never gets a peep on the news.
Nigeria or Somalia
Why does this woman always go for jobs that are funded by the state and provide exorbitant expenses?
Economics teacher, councillor, MP, BBC board.
..Think you’ve answered your own question
She wants a guaranteed income that needs no work. The higher up that greasy pole she climbed, the less real work was required. Just employ more minions on the public teat to do the work for you.
Big Jugs 3.
Kiss My Booty 2.
The best thing to do with Jaqui would be to build her a pool to live in and chuck her fish 3 times a day.
LOL. Very good.
They could make a film about it called ‘Catch Jacqui’…
And hubby can watch Free Willy all day (18+ versions).
Clitty Clitty Gang Bang.
Can you show The Brown Stuff?
This woman is out of her depth in a puddle.
Star Whores: The Empire Licks Crack.
In Diana Jones and the Temple of Poon.
Pulp Friction.
Gangbangs of New York.
Well done Jacqui, you are an example to us all !
Shaving Ryan’s Privates
Don’t forget about me.
Jacqui, when you get the new job can you get these into the schedule?
Your ever loving Dick
Schindler’s Fist
Riding Miss Daisy
Big Trouble in Little Vagina
Free your Willy
Who Reamed Roger Rabbit?
A Fisting Full of Dollars
Forrest Hump
Strictly Cum Dancing
Beverley Hills Cock
Around the world in 80 pleasures with Dan Quickwank
FFS this women is so full of bullshit…. How can she live with herself. She (and many other polititions some “ex”) are a fucking disgrace. When she got booted out of parliament at the GE she was given a large severence payment.
THAT really pisses me off. should have got a prison sentence…. or a bullet!!
Hanging is too good for this capitalist trash.
Redditch is the next constituency from errrmm!
Debbie Does Hull.
Was it ever verified if it was her husband or her underage kids that watched the porn?
Her son was down to take the falll and he said “no” then it was Timney!
Saturday Night Beaver
Batman in Robin
Snatch Adams
Dude, where’s my Hoon
I hate Brown. But I love brown.
Fucking bitch needs putting down.
I love my wife, Ms Macauley.
And I love you.
Note how all our ranting is to no avail. She”ll be a shoe in, just like Dozy Millipede, with his brother Gromit given something lucrative and special, whilst Harriet retains her deputy position as promised. So, so disappointing this NWO.
Is McDoom:
Asexual
Autistic
Sociopathic
Or all three?
A sexual what ducky ?
Nice to fleece you, to fleece you…nice!
Did her sister “legitimacy” get a job at the BBC?
hey, great bbc radio 5 programme on now.
Victoria Derbyshite interviewing dim woman about her day with her new labour, newcastle Mp to prove they work for us after all.
the bbc working hard for the establishment
Is the XaNuLab thicko who went off to play Bingo with her constituents?
I’d like a cookery programme all about making riiiiice and peeeeea!
Shitenders.
Forest Dump
Dr Poo
Pan-aroma
The Number One Show
Have I Got Poohs For You
Have I Got Shit For Pooh
Adam Smith Institute giving Al Beeb both barrels.
“At the moment, the BBC invests heavily in opinion management and capturing UK regulators. Instead, it should look outwards towards the international media market, exporting prime time content to other countries (particularly in the EU) and competing for the first time with the major US studios. Rather than just exploiting the exclusive benefits of public subsidy, it should be contributing substantially to the national economy.”
http://www.adamsmith.org/blog/media-and-culture/scrap-the-tv-licence-fee-and-reform-the-bbc/
Far better programmes made abroad — from France, Spiral, from Sweden, Wallander.
All the BBC can come up with is Lark Rise, an antiquated soap vehicle for all the clapped out luvvies.
I actually watched part of an episode of the last of the summer wine the other night.
It was like a comedy graveyard from the 1980s. It has not updated well, and the script, the acting, timing and delivery were equivalent to something out of a school Christmas play.
What a very sad end to what used to be a decent, gentle comedy show. Compo will be spinning in his grave.
wank wank
wank wank
W.W.
The BBC has really nice people to dish out the expenses, so she needn’t worry too much about the salary being only £70-odd-k.
How much lower can the BBC go?
They are already plumbing new low depths that would thwart BP.
Are they doing a burn and pillage exercise knowing their days at the trough are coming to an end?
Jauqi Smith , Sums up labour .
Morning windowlickers
Fuck you!
Only if you wear a burka
Jacqui Smith! Did her sister “ever” pay earnings on the room that she bleyt?
I like crayons. They very colourful.
I was asked to leave the local swimming pool today as the large bulge in my Speedos was upsetting some of the other swimmers. I pointed out another guy in similar trunks & asked why he was not being asked to leave.
Because he hasn’t shit himself was the reply
I can clean that up!
because his bulge is in the front of his trunks ?
and they said there was no waste in the public sector ?
Why does Jonah hate women?
I really love my wife Sarah Macaulay and though we are not able to be together as often as we both would want, I know that on the rare occasions when we meet, we can share some quality time together in our seperate bedrooms.
And, I’d like to add that rumours that I am in fact a homosexual, and that my marriage was one of convenience driven purely by a manic and insatiable desire for political advancement are completely unfounded.
Oh, and by the way, I want to be clear that my children will never be used for cheap politicking or photo opporunties. But if you want to come down to the boating pond next weekend, we all might be there.
I said to Yvonne
“you’re the double of Cheryl Cole”
Yvonne said
“do you think so?”
I says
“Yep defintely. She’s 8 stone and you’re 16 stone you fat bitch!!”
Yvette?
Yvonne who? We should be told…
Bollocks, it is Ed Balls. We don’t expect him to remember mundane things like his wife’s name. He is far too busy getting himself massively humiliated in the labour leadership election for that.
“Workers of the world unite “
Another mouth for us all to feed.
Another 5 bellies to feeed
So glad to have your input Bob
you’ve been quiet lately
-=er
‘um
Welsh NHS execs have their snouts firmly in the trough. Ten years salary protection + benefits if their job is reorganised. What a f***ing disgrace.
http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/2010/08/02/axed-nhs-executives-get-salary-protection-for-10-years-91466-26977566/
This is music to my ears
The coalition will fall apart very soon
Bob Crow for Prime Minister
RMT general secretary Bob Crow said: “The TUC has to be the launch-pad for the fightback against the coalition Government’s decision to launch all-out class warfare through their unprecedented attack on our communities, public services, welfare state and transport system.
“Our defence must be built on generalised strike action and community resistance in the biggest public mobilisation since the anti-poll tax movement.
“RMT is in no doubt that the Government is using the deficit as a thinly veiled cover to engage in an ideological dismantling of the state and an attack on workers, and the most vulnerable in our society, which goes far further than even the dark days of Thatcher.”
I think if they strike then the private sector should go on a tax strike , That will teach the Hunts
Just had sex with Bob Crow.
I’m so fucking happy I’m skipping.
TUC members – rise up against the evil Tories!
But don’t forget to pay your subs, so comrade Crow can be paid £80,000 salary, £25,000 pension contributions and £15,000 expenses again this year.
Remember, he is working hard for YOU
Labour lost, they’ll never be in power again. Once we’ve cleaned up the shit they’ve sprayed for the last 13 years we can all live happily ever after. I’ll start by finding Martin Day and having him burned at the stake in public in front of pictures of Brown being evicted from No. 10. Anyone fancy a ticket ?
Hi , My names Tim Lovejoy and i am a legend .
I am a leg end.
you sir are a dead end!
Your English is appalling. Luckily you are a legend, i.e. imaginary.
FOAD (or rather, continue non-existing.
)
And I thought that vile little misandrist ‘Bidisha’ presenting Woman’s Hour was the last straw for the BBC – and now this!
The certainly know how to boil one’s piss.
‘Bidisha’ or whatever the stupid cow is called really gets on my tits. What is it with a one word ‘name’ FFS? Who does the man-hating bitch think she is? Madonna?
Her self-promoting offal in the Grauniad really make me want to puke.
Fuck you Bidisha!
She has a good face for radio. Ever noticed how feminists are usually mingers?
Can’t get a bloke, so she has to take it out on men in general.
http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/arts/author/bidisha/
That is taking minging to new levels man!
You mean Bidisha Bandyopadhyay.
Why does she refuse to use her family name? Is she ashamed of her background?
Excellent cartoon, the best yet. Before the porn story broke she used to display enormous cleavage; it reminded me of the opera singer in the old Tales Of Hoffman animations, the one that sustained a long note and gradually deflated to a head on a heap of clothes.
I think she’s turning Japanese:
http://fxbites.blogspot.com/2010/08/jacqui-seeks-aunty-to-replace-sister.html
What’s the odds on Sam Cam’s sprog looking a lot like uncle Boris?
wank wank wank
W.W.
Getting very excited already about Jacquis casting interview, a DP with a BBC, must get that on video.
Has she tried putting on a burkha? That would improve her looks 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 times
Why the flattering cartoon?
What has the ugly thieving cow done to deserve it?
Is there a broom cupboard at the BBC she can claim is her second home?
Are you suggesting Fat Slag Jacqui is a witch?
You would not do anything over her?
(R Timney bought stuff of Tele visionX if you know what mean)
I almost had a coronary when I discovered that the arch moron of the left has been given a seat in the Lords! Lord Prescott yet! Can the idiot even spell it?
After what he and his chums in the Fire Brigades Union and the LGA have done to the Fire and Rescue Services he should be removed and Westminster Bridge decorated with his head!
why is this fat cow not in prison? what the fuck did I vote Tory for (ditching the principle of viting against further rule by the EUSSR) if not to see these bastards doing porridge?
Well it would cut out the Middle Man, the BBC could now get it’s orders direct from Moscow.
“Fuck off!”
I thought we heard the last of this slag!
To put it bluntly she should be told to fuck off – she isnt wanted
Mind you the BBC trust is a bunch of minging tossers anyway so whats one more minger amonst the stinking cesspit that the BBC Trust
Hopefully we wont have to wait long until the TV licence is abolished and the parasites at the BBC are thrown out
We will have a choice of paying a subscription or not
and guess what I wont and may other wont either
Good Night Beeb, Good night!
I think we need just one TV channel and one radio station for public service broadcasting only. i.e. no Jonathan Woss etc at our expense. The licence could go down to about a tenner then.
This would just be in case a proper war came along again and we needed them to broadcast messages to our agents in france.
Pardon me, i’m talking through my arse again, thats what happens when mandy the shirt lifter invites you to stay the night.
[...] Again thanks to Guido, this is an absolute classic: http://order-order.com/2010/08/02/monday-morning-cartoon-5/ [...]
She’ll find a nice big trough there to get her snout into.
She should never get another public job again. She has screwed us for long enough
She will be at home there with their unlimited expenses. So much so she will not notice that she is no longer a member of the corrupt house of conmen.
Another example, if one is needed, of why the bbc poll tax should go. Let the thieving b’stards earn their keep instead of living of backs of the taxpayers. I am sure there is a dictatorship somewhere looking for their propaganda skills!
I really do not know But I hate JJSmith because she lived with her sister in A and did she ever pay tax on her declared rent rimetances?
I am not saying anything but I i were how Did this waste of space do anything and now her younger sister is expected to provide her with a lifeline?
I hope the BBC do not lower their standards anymore!!!