June 21st, 2010

Rory Campbell’s Close Shave

Bad Al Campbell’s son Rory is, like many privileged Balliol Oxford* graduates before him, currently on a “gap yah” jaunt in Asia, doing what you do when you are young in Asia. Guido’s beach-dwelling-co-conspirator-in-a-smokey-haze reports Rory spends his days showing off his shaved legs to girls in the bars of Saigon. Apparently it helps the keen Oxford Blue cyclist perform better in his races.

A tip no doubt from his father, who would do anything to increase his rate of spin…

*Studied Politics, Philosophy and Economics


  1. 1
    Pirate says:

    Gone in Saigon


    • 7
      Mombus says:

      whats the weed like there,it cost the yanks a war so it must be good shit.


      • 14
        captain cumshot says:

        Vietnamese weed is shit, well the stuff they grow over here in semi-detached rental homes is.

        They then launder the money through those fucking ‘nail bars’ that infest every high street.


        • 60
          please ignore this minor political story says:

          The number of British servicemen and women killed in the pointless Afghanistan quagmire has reached 300.

          Last week Britain promised to send the corrupt President Karzai £200 Million to supposedly help it’s schools, hospitals and farmers while Britian’s face massive cuts.

          TROOPS OUT NOW.

          No if’s but’s or maybe’s.


          • Jethro says:

            It won’t matter a shit until it gets it’s Saigon day.


          • Noise says:

            There was amusing rumours of the worlds largest lithium ore being discovered in Afghanistan recently, supposedly from “secret” soviet era maps

            Lithium was useless back then, relatively speaking. Now lithium is the future of green electricity and battery storage it may potentially have been worth it


          • W.M.D. says:

            there were ‘rumours’ and hype about a huge oil find in Vietnam when that catastrophe was sinking fast in the publics opinion too


          • Noise says:

            touché, thinking about it – it was on the beeb


      • 17
        Anonymous says:

        WHAT A SCOOP!


        • 44
          Alistair Forum says:

          What a poop.


          • Disaffected says:

            Bad Al wanted us to go to war with Iraq and was prepared to help Blair lie about it. Send his son in support of his father’s deeds. He should not be at university but on the front line detecting IEDs. They are all scum. Remember Doctor Kelly Campbell?


        • 52
          Lord Carrington's Binoculars says:

          News that Campbell and his missus Millar got their son into Oxford will be very gratefully received over at the Guardian blog site, CiF.

          Millar never shuts up about the glories of the comprehensive school, blogging and ‘writing’ the same article over and over.

          If, as I suspect, private tutors were involved for Campbell Minor, she will be blown to smithereens.

          And why does that matter?

          Because Millar is one of the leading opponents to Free schools.

          Please try and think a bit harder….


          • Please try and dr-in-k a bit harder says:

            if that twat has said people should be banned from sending their children to Oxford then that would be hypocrisy

            perhaps you could also point us to where she says holidaying in Asia, shaving legs and frequenting bars is also verbotten ?


          • Lord Carrington's Binoculars says:

            The point is that Millar believes – and campaigns – that all children should go to the local comp and that education should operate on a level playing field.

            If she used a private tutor – like the Blairs – her entire life’s ‘work’ will be declared null and void. And she’ll be an even bigger hypocrite than Harman and Abbott put together.


          • Ed (youcayshun) Balls says:

            The irony of the Bliars sending their brood to a State school ( The Oratory – in the grammar stream equivalent….) is that they ‘topped up’ the kids’ education with private tutors from……….Westminster School – a top private school….


          • I doubt it they bother with tutors, dahlink. Why should they? It’s not what you know, it’s who you know….


          • The Bottle Fed Illegitimate says:

            ‘Ang on! Ali ain’t married to the Millar bint is ‘e. That makes Rory a right Bas………………….!


    • 57
      Georgie Porgie says:

      we’re all shaving our legs together.


    • 68
      Jib jab says:

      Again Guido, the snide references to Oxford are just jealousy from you.

      You messed up your A- Levels and never went to university. Get over it.

      Stop taking it out on people who are clever enough to have made more of their lives at 18-22 than you did.


      • 100

        Think you misunderstand, we do snide references to everything.

        Incidentally, some of Guido’s best interns went to Oxbridge.


        • 101
          Jib jab says:

          Yeah, I know you do snide references to everything – which is why the blog’s great fun to read.

          But this is the umpteenth repetition of this side-swipe. And the second time this week. It’s just beginning to look like insecurity now.

          Most of your other snide references have a coherent argument behind them. This seems to just be “let’s have a go at Oxbridge”.


          • Anonymous says:

            Enough of the jibber jabber, jib jab. You sound like a typical whiny, Oxbridge, PPE studying cocksucker!


      • 123
        The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

        Oi! Jib Jab, some of us never went to Oxbridge. Some of us never went to university. Some of have done well in our lives and are honest, hardworking citizens without the help of stringpulling hypocrites getting us in to places and jobs other more deserving people should have.


    • 72
      Engineer says:

      Why would any self-respecting bloke waste that much time shaving their legs? It takes me more time than I’d like to spend every morning shaving my chin.

      Mind you, I don’t do bike races, especially in Asia.


  2. 2
    Ding Dong says:

    Incredible news. Fascinating.


    • 35
      BREAKING NEWS says:

      David Mellor’s son spotted screaming abuse at a sparrow in a local park.


      • 45
        Bill Oddie says:



      • 46
        Tuber says:

        any film?


      • 47
        Do you know who my dad is Officer? says:

        Jack Straw’s son spotted attempting to launch a blog, and failing miserably.


        • 50
          Rocking Horse says:

          Gordon Brown’s son last seen accompanying his family from Downing Street.


        • 59
          Leon Plopski says:

          Jack Straws son attempting to go the bog and failing


        • 61
          jgm2 says:

          It’s just a stepping stone to a safe Labour seat. As befits his training since birth. Just like John Prescott’s kid.

          Champion of the poor Prescott you know. Just accepted the Lordship to cheer up Pauline.

          Prescott reminds me of an old joke (in more ways than one)…..

          Woman goes into a bar and sees her husband with his hand up some woman’s skirt.

          ‘John, she says, who is this?’

          ‘It’s Tracey, my mistress’, he says.

          ‘You bastard, we’ve been married 30 years and you have a mistress. I’m divorcing you’.

          ‘Well you can if you like but you’ll have no more chauffered c*rs, no more free nights in 5* hotels, no more free lunches, no more free holidays, you’ll have to pay for everything yourself, the kids have left home, everything is in a trust in my name you’ll be out on the street and you’ll get fuck all’.

          Pauline thinks about that for a moment then she spots Chris Huhne with his hand up some woman’s skirt.

          ‘Who is that with Chris Huhne?’ says Pauline.

          ‘Oh, that’s his mistress’ says John.

          ‘Our mistress is better looking than his mistress’, says Pauline.


  3. 3
    captain cumshot says:

    Looks like a nice boy.

    Shaved legs are easier to clean after miss-placed bukkake pop shots – so i’m told.


  4. 4

    Rory looks like Jimmy Sommerville doing an impression of Alastair Campbell.


  5. 5
    Alyingstare Campbell says:

    Which safe seat will we parachute him into ??


  6. 6
    Humtpy Dumpty says:

    This blog is dying a horrible death – what has Campbell’s son got to do with anything? He’s not in public life, he hasn’t done anything wrong – you’ve lost the plot, Guido. Or you’re desperate for stories. Or both.


  7. 10
    Andy says:

    Brilliant. I do love a story about someone who has nothing to do with anything other than be related to someone who used to do something. Especially when the story’s as exciting as ‘young man chats up girls while on holiday’. Those people who say your best days are behind you are simply wrong.


    • 12
      Bren says:

      it still beats the MSN


    • 13
    • 96
      Jan says:

      His mother Fiona Millar is always banging on about her children and their education so as far as I am concerned he is fair game for any story.His mother put him and his siblings into the public eye. by constantly using them to push her stupid ideas about education.Because like the Bliar’s she sent them to state schools, but ones which are not available to ordinary working class children.Or perhaps a few token ones who just happen to live in an area which has been gentrified.


  8. 15
    Guido's gone down the crapper says:

    At the top of this blog it says ‘Tittle tattle, gossip and rumours about Westminster’ Mother of Parliaments. So this story is in the right place. Oh, wait…………

    1/10, load of shit, must do better Guido.


    • 33
      Spank Sinatra says:

      So what if it’s a slow news day – tittle tattle and idle gossip helps to make the world go round.


    • 93
      Noise says:

      Feck off and read a left wing blog then, a fate worse than death.

      The paresthesia of a solid hour reading through progressive drivel is enough to kill a man/harman. It’s a requirement of membership that you ‘study’ some 5 hours a week university course, amounting to a grand total of 2 months full time work over a 3 year window.


    • 104
      John Bright says:

      England is the mother of parliaments is the correct quote as some of us Guidoistas know


  9. 18
    The Ghost of Dr David Kelly says:

    Don’t forget about me…


    • 55
      T Bliar says:

      Unlike the forces of conservatism from the nasty party, I will never forget you. I always think of you and your heartbroken family, right before I buy Cherie another multi-million pound mansion and we go on another shopping spree. You’re always in our hearts.


      • 71
        Tony Cameron the Heir to Blair says:

        Unlike the forces of real Conservatism from nasty MPs like David Davis, I will never forget you. I always think of you right before I buy that lovely Liberal dreamboat Nick Clegg some flowers and heart shaped chocolates.
        You are always in my heart.


  10. 19
    I love stereotyping people especially when I'm right.... says:

    I bet he’s an arrogant little shit, full of piss and importance and assuming everything he wants will be his. Hunt!


    • 23

      A bit like Will Straw.


      • 42
        Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

        Not a bit like Will Straw, who is active in politics and gets confused over the ownership of wine. He’s fair game.


    • 25
      Historian says:

      and it shows labour has gone from working class to Oxford in a generation. I remember two old dears in a bus stop.One said “Isn’t it great labour got in. And the other said That fucking Blair isn’t labour.How right she was. So I think Guido is high lighting it..


      • 26
        Mr Plum says:

        Always seems that oxford wins every election


      • 99
        Jan says:

        Historian..In the 60s many in the Labour cabinet came from Oxbridge.The idea that Labour MPs came from the working class is a fallacy.One or two token workers became MPs but that’s all.The working class has been used by the Labour Party for much of its life.Middle class intellectuals and socialists used the working classes to gain power.


        • 103
          William Blagg Esquire says:

          Anthony Neil Wedgwood Benn (born 3 April 1925), formerly 2nd Viscount Stansgate, is a British working class Labour politician as is the niece of Her aunt Elizabeth Pakenham, Countess of Longford, and her cousins include the writers Lady Antonia Fraser, Lady Rachel Billington, and Thomas Pakenham.

          Salt of the Earth working class types and I should know
          I was a miner, I was a docker
          I was a railway man between the wars
          I raised a family in times of austerity
          With sweat at the foundry between the wars


        • 115
          Glescarene Swine says:

          (Adam McNaughtan)

          Ah’m mair workin class than whit you are
          Ah wis brocht up in Parkheid
          Ma Da wis a navvy an we’d nae inside lavvy
          We ate coarn beef an dry breid
          Now Ah live in a villa in Clarkston
          But don’t tell me Ah’ve selt the pass
          The lavvy’s still on the hauf-landin
          Cos Ah remain true tae ma class

          An Ah’m mair working class than whit you are
          Ma claes they were aye secondhaun
          On Monday at school Ah wis late as a rule
          Ah’d tae wait tae get stuff oot the pawn
          Noo ma shoes they are ninety quid Barkers
          In ma wardrobe Ah’ve seventeen suits
          But ye’ll still find me wearin ma bonnet
          Cos Ah remain true tae ma roots

          Oh Ah’m mair working class than whit you are
          Ah left school when Ah wis fufteen
          Stuck in at ma trade an ma progress was made
          Wi hard graft an wi keepin my nose clean
          So now I’m Projections Director
          Computing the company’s goals
          Well keyboard work is manual labour
          So Ah remain wan o the proles

          An Ah’m mair working class than whit you are
          Twa cars an a yacht are nae crimes
          Cos Ah thinks it’s fair – in agreement wi Blair
          That the party should move wi the times
          But Ah’ll always be wan o the workers
          The reason Ah’ll easy explain
          As lang as Ah’m wan o the workers
          They’ll elect me again an again an again
          an again an again an again.


    • 28
      Spin On This says:

      You left out: Arrogant c-unting little shit, full of shit and self-importance and assuming everything he wants will be his because his father is a crooked evil c-unt who’s raised his kids to be just as evil and crooked as himself.


  11. 20
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Apparently alcoholics have troubled sleep, what with all their incontinence and whatever, so here’s something to sooth away the good doc-sexers bedtime worries: http://tinyurl.com/38rovmy


  12. 22

    Edwina Currie’s daughter Debbie was spotted buying eggs in a local supermarket.

    You read it here first!!


  13. 24

    It’s a bit like buses..nothing, then 2 or more shitstorms arrive together.

    A bit like volcanoes really, I think we’re overdue.


    • 29
      jgm2 says:

      Perhaps Mount St Helens could give Obama another opportunity to huff and puff and show us all how terribly important he is.

      The arsehole.


      • 67
        Heir to Blair says:

        Obama’s view of Cameron: a lightweight

        Barack Obama was unimpressed by his encounter with David Cameron earlier this year and commented: “What a lightweight!”

        Cameron’s view of Obama – “BRILLIANT!”

        “I’m enjoying watching Barack Obama. I think he’s a brilliant speaker, I think his optimism and sense of hope for the future is inspiring a lot of people. It’s great to see. Too often [politics] gets down to hope and fear and I think it’s wonderful when hope wins. I’m enjoying watching him, I must say. I think he’s compelling,” Cameron told Radio 5 Live’s Breakfast programme.


    • 30
      Jet engine sucking in and spraying shit says:

      Hope it’s a volcano, I can handle ash but I don’t fancy being covered in shit.


  14. 34
    pp says:

    Yes come on guido…

    Was there anything in the savings mismatch thing I sent you?

    I see conservative home are showing the stone henge visitors centre cut saving £25,000,000


    While english heritage say only £10,000,000 has been cut..



  15. 36
    I'd like to smash Venables's head in says:

    Bulger killer Jon Venables has been charged with doing a Gary Glitter and owning paedo material.

    Where are all the bleeding heart lefty libs who supported giving that c-unt early release?


    • 97
      Anonymous says:

      So, IF he is found guilty will he have to spend the rest of his ‘life’ tariff inside?


  16. 37
    gildedtumbril says:

    A little OT but I want to see camoron’s and cleggovers birth certificates. With foreign ‘aid’ ring-fenced at £13 billion one suspects they are both Kenyan born muslims.
    Oh how I enjoy the tittletattle.
    As for campbell’s brat, notice he only studies the confidence trickster’s subjects.


  17. 39
    Sir William Waad says:

    When you mentioned his ‘Gap Year’ I thought you meant he’d taken a job as a shop assistant.

    George old chap, how about a special tax on PPE graduates? Since their main aim in life is to eat other people’s taxes, shouldn’t they pay a bit more themselves?


  18. 40
    Sturmey-Archer Gears says:

    I think you’ll find that cyclists shave there legs so that their grazes aren’t all clogged up with hair when they have a crash – nothing to do with aerodynamics. Well, that was the excuse I gave my wife anyway, but it was somewhat undermined that day she caught me fishing her old pantihose from the dustbin.


  19. 41
    Anonymous says:

    Dave should draft him. The Blair boy too, if he isn’t too fat.


  20. 43
    Up Yours says:

    I can think of two occasions were we have been here before. when the ruling class was made up of close linked familys. Both occation resulted in revolution. The french one cost them their heads


  21. 58
    Hugh Janus says:

    What a really fantastic and absorbing story Guido. Have you alerted the media?

    How do you find ‘em??


  22. 62
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Two Dons supporting farmers are flying over Aberdeen with their herd of sheep to the markєt.
    Suddenly, the plane engine develops a fault and it rapidly descends towards the ground.
    Dons fan 1: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump!
    Dons fan 2: What about the sheep?
    Dons fan 1: Fuck the sheep!
    Dons fan 2: (pause) We haena got time!


  23. 80
    Suck On That says:

    Rory C-untbell, son of C-untstair C-untbell.


  24. 84
    Girl in Saigon says to Rory Cuntbell says:


    • 89
      Fuck em,he's fair game to ruthless fuckers says:

      I hated the little twat when we were both kids. Now everyone hates him,see how right we can be about other peoples kids.


  25. 98
    Scottish minging says:

    I couldn’t care less they have screwed it for our kids so sod theirs Anyway its his fault for having Ali as a father


  26. 102
    Colonel Madd says:

    Im very drunk and bored …………………and may have to shoot some people in Pimlico this evening.

    Its the only thing to do to shake off this appalling ennui

    Fair warning


  27. 111
    the face arranger says:

    Just look at that jaw !
    i would love to smack it
    please just one !
    just one would make my year


  28. 114
    Fuck the Received Wisdom ! says:

    Isnt it time we reviewed the content of those PPE degrees as they seem to be turing out wankers and arseholes by the pound ?


  29. 116
    Mrs David Kelly says:

    The boy looks to be good with colours, but whitewash comes to mind.


  30. 118
    Anon says:

    Has he got his Dad’s drinking habits yet? It tends to run in families.


  31. 126
    innit says:

    A cyclist shaves his or her legs to make the treatment of gravel-rash easier, more hygienic and less painful. Nothing to do with racing performance.

    Apart from the trannies, obviously.


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