May 5th, 2010

The Next Election Battle : Labour Leader

All that jostling for TV face time and visiting of far-flung candidates by Ed Balls, David Miliband and Harriet Harman is of course nothing to do with the upcoming election, it is all about the election after that – the Labour leadership election.

Guido reckons Gordon will be gone sooner rather than later, and one way or another he won’t be facing Cameron at the next PMQs.  Labour will turn on itself, and turn on Gordon, Charlie Whelan and Ed Balls. The likes of Yvette Cooper, Chris Bryant, Iain Austin and Tom Watson will get some of the collateral blame for foisting Gordon on the party.  They in turn will blame Mandelson and Campbell for the campaign strategy, the Blairites will pointed to for their  many coup attempts and high profile corrupt consultancy deals, cashing in like Tony himself.  This will last for ever.  Gordon will brood with a seething rage which will make Heath look positively jolly in comparison.

The bookies currently are making Miliband favourite, Harman second favourite, Darling is seen as a safe pair of hands caretaker, Balls (if he survives) and Johnson are in the running.  Many wonder if Johnson is up for it.  Harman could be acting leader on Saturday many think, they assume the she will be a caretaker leader like Margaret Beckett.  Guido hears that they should not be so sure…


539 Comments

  1. 1
    Peter, First Lord Everything says:

    Shut up, Harriet. I don’t want to hear from you again.

    • 3
      Peter, First Lord Everything says:

      First Lord Everything and now first on Guido’s pages as well…

      • 19
        Harriet says:

        Greece is the word that you heard, its got groove its got beatings, civil contingencies act was not introduced without foresight chaps!!

        • 24
          Brownhog Day says:

          Or we could all awake to the nightmare of Brownhog Day!

          See here for the gory truth:

          http://randall4uxbridgeandsouthruislip.co.uk/

          • Iain Dale's Codpiece says:

            Meanwhile, Iain Dale is busy looking for two researchers for six or seven weeks of work, based in central London, with salary of £1,000 (each I think) – most generous considering how cheap travel and sustenance for siz or seven weeks in central London is!

            Minimum wage? He’s heard of it!

          • Natural Mystic says:

            married and a twitcher.I like him already

          • Hugh Janus says:

            John Randall and his ‘Brownhog Day’ – I like the cut of his jib!

          • six months into Eurofascist ECO tax Camerons election says:

          • Tulkinghorn says:

            Seems like a nice bloke. Plainly he is in the wrong job

          • Nice one! Brownhog Day!

          • salmon says:

            i would vote 4 him if i lived there,gotta be better than know all labour scum

          • Lib lab con munist = opperation kill Britain says:

          • One party state says:

            How Bizzare the Labour party made sure British soldiers would not get a vote in this election, yes really! why because the soldiers vote is split 50/50 between the Tories and the BMP, the Tories have said nothing!

          • CCHQ Spin Control says:

            There will be NO recriminations for Dave failing to get a majority against a useless piece of shit like Brown.

            There will be NO criticism of his farcical Big Society campaign.

            And there will definitely be no-one like David Davis or Laim Fox preparing to make their moveafter the collapse of a minority Tory Government due to the vote of no confidence after worst cuts and tax rises come in.

            Everything in CCHQ is just lovely.

          • Dave calls for Browns communist NWO says:

          • all key policies the public dont want the same so who really runs the show? says:

        • 80
          Anonymous says:

          Greece is NOT the word..

        • 118
          Take it to the limit says:

          Guns in the woods. it’s got bang and cover,and a deathly silence. Reaction,not an act

      • 56
        GET RID OF THESE ARSEHOLES FOREVER says:

        By 0701hrs tomorrow, Brown will have garnered more of a ‘mandate’ than he has ever had before.

        This irony must never be lost on any of us.

        We will all enjoy stuffing Brown’s self-made ignominy down his throat tomorrow.

        But rather than Brown alone, it is Labour itself, and its posse of dogmatic, spiteful, hate-based, corrupt, undemocratic, self-serving hypocrites that are to blame for what has happened to our country.

        And, yes, it was Labour that foisted an unelected (indeed unelectable) basket case on the country and the results speak for themselves.

        Labour must never be allowed to ‘govern’ again.

        The complete destruction of Labour should remain our goal well after this election.

        This election will have weakened Labour to breaking point, politically and financially.

        The eradication of Labour from these shores will be within our collective grasp come Friday.

        • 160
          Backwoodsman says:

          The disapointing thing, is that the limp dims will be just as bad ! Lets face it , all the nulab islingtonistas have despised the old wwc labour supporters from day one, so it doen’t take much immagination to see them morphing into one happy, shinny , left of centre , parasitical blob.

          • The Ape Man Commeth says:

            “The bookies currently are making Miliband favourite”

            WTF Did anybody see the way this peice of shit patronised the mother of a dead soldier in a tv debate the other day? it was sickning. Him and his revolting brother should be made to work in the sewers where they belong.

            Labour doesn’t love the working class, it doesn’t even like the working class, it only likes the IDEA of the working class*

            (*working class in the pre 1997 sense)

        • 217
          Animal says:

          And with a little bit of long overdue luck not only will the overbearing, intrusive and malicious Liebore party turn in and devour itself, but the warring factions will end up installing the screeching, incompetent Harman as their next leader. We can then look forward to a future 5 years of comical PMQs and the 2015 election featuring the most insane manifesto ever to wear a red rose to push Liebore over the edge and tumbling down into the abyss forever.

          But we must never allow people to forget the tragedy of the golden opportunity to transform this country that was wasted by Liebore. We must work to never allow the destructive and divisive evil of socialism be let near the corridors of power again. The next five years must feature a continual release of records about how Liebore treated the people of this country. Expose the people who broke this country and their lies. Shout about their cheating, their quiet deals, their theft of our pensions and taxation of the poor, and their vicious treatment of those who dared stand up to them. Remind everyone of their lust for personal wealth while breaking our hearts and destroying our society, our culture and our values. And do not let up, not for a second, until the disgusting stench of Liebore is finally consigned to history for the irrelevant insult to our intelligence that it truly is.

        • 306
          Gordon Fuckwit says:

          The punishments dished out to them and their band of talentless followers should be swift and very severe.

        • 381
          loftus road says:

          agree – we need these shitsters to be gone for good.

      • 354
        Hello Sailor! says:

        Is Mandlebum First Lord of the Admiralty too now? Does that make him a Red Admiral or, more likely, a Rear Admiral?

    • 9
      one-eyed ex-PM says:

      I thought I read ‘Fist Lord’.

    • 11
      Angela Merkel war meine Haushälterin says:

      You are forgetting Jon Cruddas – least bonkers of the Left and most acceptable to mainstream Labour. He could be the ‘dark horse’ that unites the tattered remains of Labour post Election.

      • 30
        Brownhog Day says:

        The dark horse to the dung that would be the remnants of ZaNuLab!

      • 39
        concrete pump says:

        We don’t want to see anything that unites what is left of the labour party, we want to see it chopped up and fucked off to the furthest parts of the universe.

        • 245
          ST says:

          Correct. Pretty please let it be Harperson,

          I was watching Armando Ianucccccccccccci last night of DP – the lefty toe rag wants to see a Lib Lab alliance of opposition so in his own words the Tories could do the nasty work then be expelled to the wilderness for a generation.

          Bastard conniving lefty scum. If Cameron gets a majority job 1 should be to redraw the constituency boudaries. We could also consider setting Scothland adrift.

      • 46
        Lil Olmey says:

        Crudarse ? I don’t think so. The name’s usually a dead giveaway with these vermin.

      • 134

        He might not be there.

      • 138

        Yeah, but they might ban the word Unite…

    • 41
      Rioter says:

      You better make sure you wipe your arse properly then or it will get full of Cleggys

    • 54
      Lord Voldemandy says:

      I’m up for it. Gordon promised that I can take over Hogwarts after he opens the Owl of Death message on Friday.

    • 68
      Smig says:

      Have a dose of “divide and rule”. Trust me you won’t like them apples.

      I have popcorn, beer and soon, my own distillery. I love my own spirits, drinkable and I can run the car on it.

      No more telly tax, nor more fuel duty. Cheerybye Labour.

      For all of the misery, and for selling mine and my descendants livelihoods down the river, may your eyes and armpits be infested with the fleas of a thousands camels.

      And just in case anyone was thinking about voting Labour tomorrow, a quick summary of the last 13 years:

      The emasculation of the Bank of England and the creation of the toothless FSA.
      The politicisation of the judiciary with the appointment of pro-EU, New Labour receptive Judges.
      The squandering of increased tax receipts instead of paying off National Debts.
      Selling gold at rock bottom prices, instead of buying it on the cheap in the event of a catastrophic financial event.
      Fiddling the unemployment figures by giving at least one million useless retards a job within the public sector.
      Allowing the creation of bad debt insurance in order to allow the gobshite, greedy bankers to lend without worrying about bad debt provision.
      Raising indirect taxation.
      Scrapping the lowest band of income tax for those most in need of financial help.
      Losing health records on laptops and USB sticks.
      Starting a pissant war just to keep the ‘merkins happy.
      Reducing the amount of strategic fuel and gas storage, leading us to pay spot price during cold winters.
      Increased spending on the NHS but not improving waiting lists one jot.
      Increased spending on education, yet not improving the ability of children to read nor write.
      The introduction of draconian laws to prevent protests outside of parliament and to give the Police extended powers of arrest without reason.
      Creating more redtape and bureacracy to strangle small business and to prevent small, hardworking businesses from expanding.
      Massive cuts in military spending to the detriment of troops fighting an unnecessary war.

      Anymore for any more?

      • 410
        Honest View says:

        But do you hear old Dave even whispering any of these things?
        Instead of holding Brown to account for this catalogue of catastrophes, he is so anxious to prove positive that he goes on about vacuous concepts like the Big Society.
        He’s much more fluent. amiable and no doubt cleverer than the clunking Brown, and he’ll get my vote as the best way of removing NuLab, but by God he’s making heavy weather of it!

    • 86
      William says:

      Won’t there have to be an election of a new Speaker first?

    • 92
      Mrs B says:

      Hello Guido. We thought you’d disappeared! Too busy with the telly job or down the pub?

    • 216
      Mzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. 'Mad' Hatty HaHaHaHaPerson says:

      Shut up, Harriet. I don’t want to hear from you again.

      Peter! – now be a GOOD boy and eat your tea. Dip your soldier in your egg nicely.

      And me ‘n the Wimmin will soon put you and your squabbling girlyboys to rights.

    • 293

      Guido’s been using those new-labour-ferrets since Feb 2009, has anyone actually got a picture of ferrets in a sack?

    • 476
      concrete pump says:

      Goolie faced piss licker!

  2. 2
    gone fuckin mental says:

    the next labour leader hasnt been born yet!

  3. 5
    Shocked of Sheen says:

    I’ve bet £10.00 that Balls will lose his seat.

    • 36
      Cheese Lover says:

      I’ve paid £10 to the campaign to help.

      • 296
        Observer says:

        I have bet a monkey on Opik being a Limpdick following castration by Glyn Davis in Montgomeryshire. See Cameron popped in to support Glyn this afternoon. Ole Opik desperate has defaced his own posters.

        • 535
          Duncan says:

          You’re just giving your money away mate. Lembit has been returned with an increasing majority in a historically liberal seat. Glyn David ran against him before in 1997 and got almost half as many votes. Last time he got over 50% of the vote in a higher than average turnout. Glyn… has a good blog.

  4. 5
    we're all Greeks now says:

    Still singing for the Bankers, Fawkes?

    • 50
      Angela Merkel war meine Haushälterin says:

      Ach Ja!

      Triumph Acclaim!!!!

    • 66
      Shire Tory says:

      I’ll be in Crete in June, Operation Mercury MkII?

      Perhaps it’ll be Drachma again.

      • 171
        SarahN says:

        Oh, don’t be so drachmatic!

        • 311
          Shire Tory says:

          Sad that one of the oldest currancies in the world was replaced by the useless Euro.

        • 369
          Jethro says:

          173 Brek-a-kek-kek, co-ax, co-ax
          A propos the brek-akeks: cahp on holiday in Greece tore the seat of his trousers, so went into the nearest Tailor’s shop he could find, and pointed to the split.
          Greek Tailor: ‘You rip-a-dees?’
          Englishman: ‘You mena-dees?
          (I’ll get my coat – Oh, it’s already on the pavement, with my hat and my stick!)

        • 520
          Jezabell says:

          Ribbitt, ribbitt, ribbitt.

    • 493
      AC1 says:

      Troll, Still covering up for the regulator (Gordon) who decided to massively increase debt to hide his economic devastation and grab a vastly more taxes than bonuses?

  5. 7

    I hope that it is a bloodbath. A very, very long and nasty bloodbath.

    …….. hope also Militant come to the fore again.

    • 35
      Fred Kite says:

      They’ve never gone away…they are there lurking in the background with the marxist trade union leaders waiting to do a “greece” on the country if the conservatives win, and actually dare to cut a non-job or two.

      • 76
        Anonymous says:

        I was thinking about this.. if the civil service goes on strike, they don’t get paid, if they’re not paid, the cash that would have been spent on their wages can be spent paying off Brown’s debt mountain.

        It’s not as if civil servants do anything useful any more; private contractors clean the streets and drive the bin lorries. Civil servants just sit in expensive plush offices, holding meetings about road humps.

        Let the fuckers strike.

        • 212
          environmental health are twats says:

          whats the betting productivity will actually rise without the pencil sharpeners and elastic band counters.

          • "Concerned" shop steward says:

            Sharp pencils?!?!? Everybody out until there has been a safety audit and everyone has has the relevant safety training re: dangerously sharp pencils and potentially dangerous associated stationary equipment.

          • Jethro says:

            … and when we’ve sorted out the problems with the stationary equipment, we can really go to town on the moveable stuff.

          • AC1 says:

            Less road traffic from the non-jobs commute = increased productivity.

      • 239
        Animal says:

        Let the public sector strike and suddenly discover first-hand how they are despised by the taxpayer for their unaccountability, profligacy and thoroughly undeserved social status, before retreating back to their desks and counting their pensions and job benefits.

    • 73
      concrete pump says:

      Agreed, massive public sector strikes will bring the spazmo left to the fore which will equal more strikes, which in turn will allow my friends and i to do rotten fruit ‘drive by’s’ on striking public sector workers from the slide door of a Ford Transit.

    • 275
      Shit is brown therefore brown is shit says:

      Yeah but striking pen pushers rioting,it’s not going to be much of a ruck. think I’ll join the cops so I can at least break a few skulls

    • 315
      Dirty Trot says:

      Bring back Dave Nellist.

  6. 8
    gone fuckin mental says:

    guido, you doing live chat election night?

    • 64
      GUIDO FAWKES says:

      take 2 forgot you cannot mention the demon d*r*ink

      • 332
        streamfisher says:

        Hoist by your own petard.

        • 391
          HUNG PARLIAMENT says:

          TNS – BMRB May 4 Apr 27
          CONSERVATIVES 33% 34%
          LABOUR 27% 27%
          LIB DEMS 29% 30%

          Opinium – Daily Express
          Opinium – D. Express May 5 May 3
          CONSERVATIVES 35% 33%
          LABOUR 27% 28%
          LIB DEMS 26% 27%

          • amongomous says:

            I wonder how Labour are going to fund another campaign.

          • Busted nokia says:

            good question.. but I suspect they will be in the process of an internal war – and fully expect their vote to go down even further.

            They could be finished for good if the limp dems ever get their act together.

          • Mr Plum says:

            Yawn

  7. 10
    Anonymous says:

    I think milliband will prove to be a bigger k unt than the mental one…..

  8. 12
    bergen says:

    Their campaign has been worse than 1983-it may had a manifesto described as the longest suicide note in history but at least it was honest and accompanied by idealism,however misplaced.The present lying and cynicism of all of them has sickened me.I suspect history will be kind to Darling but no-one else.

    • 108
      Steve Expat says:

      Good point about Darling.

      He has been the closest Labour have had to a safe pair of hands, and even managed to avoid the sack from Brown when he was odds on to be replaced with Balls.

      Only one day left of this rotten government.

  9. 13

    I head that if Gordon loses the election but get most seats he will squat in number ten and be damned the lot of you . . . . .

    • 147
      Hugh Janus says:

      If so it will make the storming of the Bastille seem like a mere stroll in the park.

    • 162
      Engineer says:

      If that happens, the economy will go south faster than a turbocharged Concorde with go-faster stripes. He’d last three months maximum, and then it’ll be the IMF in Number 10.

  10. 17
    Desperate Dan says:

    How gormless are the other 200+ Labour MPs that they just tug their forelocks and choose their leader from the same limited cabal every time.

    • 57
      Tris Stokes Old Boiler says:

      Very.

    • 281
      GET RID OF THESE ARSEHOLES FOREVER says:

      You forget just how fucked up the Labour Party is.

      The trade union block vote (28% voted for fucking Prescott in 1994) as well as the constituency membership need to be won over by whoever becomes the next party leader.

      Neither group has had the chance to vote on anything since ’94 – the unions will not trust another Blairite, and the mass exodus of New Labour supporters from the membership list will see the remaining grass roots membership leap further to the left by default.

      Frankly it barely matters whether the likes of Dianne Abbott are gormless or not, because another baptism will not be tolerated.

      Due to Labour’s fucked up system, the winning candidate will need to be as

      Stupid
      Ugly
      Jealous
      Charmless
      Spiteful
      Self-serving
      Hypocritical
      Inept

      as the people who will vote him in.

      • 402
        Fair Action for All says:

        And BENT!!

      • 442
        The Ape Man Commeth says:

        “28% voted for fucking Prescott in 1994″

        That made me laugh out loud, how pigshit ignorant do the unions have to be to want a stinking working class traitor who can’t even string a sentence together for their prime minister. It just beggers belief.

        • 486
          VGER says:

          It is surely nothing but coincidence that this is the precise percentage of voters whom the latest polls indicate will be voting Labour tomorrow. Pleasing symmetry and nothing more.

  11. 18
    Ratsniffer says:

    Please god, make it harmperson. She is so odiously unpopular it will keep labour in 3rd place for years.

    • 28
      The IMF is coming says:

      Did you hear on Stephen Nolan the other night?
      Slaughtered and completely out of her depth. Let’s hope it is her

    • 196
      TH Robin Cock says:

      Just saw her on DP election debate, wearing some sort of purple rug.
      Very fetching. Made me fetch straight away.
      Just for balance, Brillo almost ignored Lynne Featherweight of Limp Dumbs and some sheepsh’agger from the valleys.

  12. 20
    Anonymous says:

    Harman would make a good caretaker: carrying a big bunch of keys, putting chairs out and shovelling sand on sick is just within her capabilities.

    • 111
      Smig says:

      Harm men is so slow, even McBride beat her to that job.

    • 116
      Gordon Brown stole my pension says:

      I think you’re over-rating her.

      Losing keys, knocking over chairs and being sick are within her capabilities. Nothing else.

      This woman is so staggeringly thick, so totally out of her depth, she thought private pensions are paid out each month with the contributions paid in by other contributors, as with state pensions. She had no idea it’s paid out of investments – the ones from which Gordon stole £130bn. And yet this fuckwitted bitch, this Queen of Cretins, is Leader of the House of Commons. For the next 36 hours, anyway.

      • 149

        God? Was she really that dense? Well, I never.

        • 271
          Ruth's my middle name says:

          Harriet, dense?
          Harriet, Queen of Cretins?
          Wonderful descriptions of the nagging Harridan who is married to the seeming transvestite Jack Dromey, selected for a safe seat from an all women shortlist.

      • 204
        Geordie Scoot says:

        I liked the story of when Harman stole Simon Heffer’s (very expensive) umbrella from some restaurant he was at. He was handed some cheap floral thing and noticed she had his umbrella in her hand and confronted her. She swore blind it was hers, when he pointed to his initials on the brass ring on the handle she claimed they were also her sister’s initials and only gave it back with bad grace when she was handed the cheap floral thing that trully belonged to her sister. I think it was reported on this site back in 2007.

      • 266
        Shit is brown therefore brown is shit says:

        she has that confused with a ponzi scheme

    • 323
      I'll do it says:

      she needs a good arse fucking

      • 405
        cant hunter says:

        Are you going to come round to my house, with a mop, a bucket and some cleaning fluid. l think you have a moral duty to clean up the vomit that somehow exited my mouth upon reading your comments about performing anal sex on HH.

    • 397
      Jethro says:

      20 – Yes, I can imagine it:
      ‘Craig, here’s the sand: I want you to shovel it on to the sick.’
      ‘But, Miss, it wasn’t me, it was Keira who sicked on the floor!’
      ‘Yes Craig, but little girls – especially poorly little girls – mustn’t have to add to their distress by dealing with sick: and, in any case, any self-respecting girl who had to sit next to you had every reason to be sick! Go on! Be..fORE I RUB YOUR NOSE IN IT!!

  13. 21
    Manslickscum & Sweaty Balls says:

    Peter will decide. It is likely to be Milibandblairist.

    • 252
      bandersnatch says:

      You mean bananaman rather than the marginally preferable green one with the gargly voice? Milliband Major has proved he is a quitter by not challenging the Gorgon when he had a chance. He is too limp a… whatever… surely, for the job.

  14. 22
    gone fuckin mental says:

    It could be Micheal Foot?

    • 101
      William says:

      H’mmm. Not without its merit.

    • 115
      Smig says:

      Problem is the dead don’t lie. Fondlebum of Boy won’t be able to work with that..

      Oh, hang on didn’t the soviets wheel out a dead Brezhnev every May Day for about five years?

  15. 23
    Steve Expat says:

    It’s got to be Milliband (either of them), Johnson or Darling – they all seem somewhat normal. One may disagree with what they have to say, but they seem to be honest people.

    Going with Balls or Miss Inequality herself would be suicide for Labour, they are such divisive and smeary characters (like Brown) that the party would be unelectable with one of them in charge, especially up against Cameron.

    • 52
      Hugh Janus says:

      “Going with Balls or Miss Inequality herself would be suicide for Labour.”

      Yes, please God make it Hatty (mad as a hatter) Manhater-Harperson, or the Testicular One (assuming he isn’t clutching his P45 on Friday morning). Odious creatures that they undoubtedly are, either would guarantee a very long time in the wilderness or, better still, the total destruction of NuLiebour.

      If there is a God….

    • 96
      ST says:

      It won’t be Darling the man has had enough. A shame because I’ve a great deal of time for him and I think he would be a responsible opposition (assuming a Tory gov).

      • 122
        Rent Boys at Dawn says:

        You’re right. He’s already vacated Number 11 to make way for next tenant.

        • 194
          Max the Impaler says:

          He’s a fucking Trot. for Gods sake get a grip.Liar, traitor and looter..bastard wants hanging.

      • 209
        TH Robin Cock says:

        More scotch anyone? Thought not.

    • 215
      Mdame Defarge says:

      No sorry the Millipedes are far from normal. Dreadful pair of Marxist offspring.

  16. 25
    Ratsniffer says:

    Greece is imploding, 3 people killed after rioters set fire to a bank.

    • 42
      Angela Merkel (EU Fuhrer) says:

      Zey vill learn to obey ze orders!

      Oh Fatherland, Fatherland,
      Show us the sign
      Your children have waited to see.
      The morning will come
      When the world is mine.
      Tomorrow belongs to me!

      • 173
        Gordon Brown stole my pension says:

        Bomben! Bomben!
        Bomben auf Engelland!
        Wir stellen den britischen Löwen
        Zum letzten entscheidenden Schlag.
        Wir halten Gericht.
        Ein Weltreich zerbricht.
        Das wird unser stolzester Tag!

        etc etc,

    • 67
      Red Flag Banking plc says:

      Greek cats apparently do not bounce.

    • 327
      Ulrich says:

      If only they put as much effort into work as rioting.

  17. 26
    Goodbye Democracy says:

    Much as I hate the thought of it, its pretty obvious now.

    Harman will be PM by next week with Clegg support, Cable Chancellor etc.

    Its a done deal

    • 48
      Vote Clegg get Liebore says:

      And all those idiots who voted for flip flop Clog because they “wanted something different” will have …more of the same…

    • 77
      Steve Expat says:

      If Brown (specificaly Brown, not Labour) cannot form a government, does the Queen not then call Cameron??

      That was my understanding. If Parliament is hung following the election, GB can attempt to form a government, if he cannot do so then he must resign as PM and invite the queen to call someone who can, who could only be Cameron, unless Clegg gets hundreds of seats.

      It’s possible that a Lib-Lab coallition might be formed on the understanding the GB will stand down at some point in the future, say after six months, but not I believe for someone else to be ‘crowned’ as PM.

      The key figure to note is whether the numbers of Lab and Lib seats combined allow them a majority or not. If it does then the wrangling will begin.

      • 178
        ST says:

        Yes,the precidents are Brown is asked to form a Gov’ if he fails then the leader of the largest party gets a shot. To then unseat Cameron they would have to vote down the Queens speech or bring a no confidence motion. There is no question of another Labour gov’ in these circumstances under anyone but Brown without first unseating Cameron.

        • 217
          The Labour Disease says:

          Since when did precedent or tradition bother the Labour Party?

          • ST says:

            It might just bother head of the Government though..

          • Honest View says:

            I bet the poor old Queen is shaking her head and wondering what’s she’s done to deserve this little problem. Is there a precedent for this crazy mess? Other elections seem to have produced a fairly obvious PM.

        • 458
          English Viking says:

          I’m afraid not. Churchill was not party leader when asked by the King to sort out the mess caused by Chamberlain. If Brown cannot form a Gov, HM The Queen will ask who she thinks will most likely carry the confidence of the house, which will not necessarily be Cameron.

      • 238
        lolol with the real lolol moniker says:

        Libdums is Liebours second slice of the cake,if Liebour get in with a hung parliament then it’s guaranteed that the Libdums will back Liebour,it’s the only way they will get near a sniff of power

        • 247
          ST says:

          Lets hope we don’t get a lib con deal. I don’t want the Tories implicated when the pound smashes into the ground. The left should reap what they sow.

        • 399
          Gobshite says:

          With all the crap coming up, it would be pretty funny to have a Lib/Lab coalition taking all the heat.

          Give it a year, and both the buggers will be out of office for a very long time.

    • 270
      ST says:

      If it happens it happens fuck it.

      As far as I’m concerned a Tory gov is a win but so is a LibLab coalition.

      Remember a LibLab coalition will have to force through austerity measures while the public, their activists and union supporters twist and moan. It’s not easy for a left wing Government to cut spending. It’ll rip both parties apart and turn them into electoral toxic waste. As far as I’m concerned that two birds with one stone. They won’t hold office for long there will be far too many splits.

      It’ll shaft the country even further but do the “Great” British public deserve anything better?

      • 400
        Cheese Lover says:

        NO! Because the first thing they would do is some sort of ‘PR’ fiddle.

        • 510
          I used to believe in democracy before Postal voting says:

          PR got us two B*P MEP’s Do we really need any more.It may even get the Green Witch Caroline Lucas elected in Brighton.

      • 443
        Honest View says:

        You’re assuming they will do anything other than sit around hoping for an economic miracle. If the IMF force them to act a few months down the line, they’ve got a scapegoat. Whatever happens, it won’t be Gordo’s fault and certainly not his successor’s, if he is tossed out.

  18. 27
    No lover of Labour says:

    I can’t wait…

    BRING IT ON! MELTDOWN!!!

    • 98
      Busted nokia says:

      yes hopefully they will never recover – consigned to the dustbin.

      I will enjoy watching Gordon taking over Heaths mantle of the incredible sulk. Oh what joy seeing Balls loose his seat, seconded only to seeing Mrs Richard Timney crash and burn..

      Now if only the Millband brothers would fall as well..

      • 351
        more sleaze says:

        Coat 2 of the dark lords used butplugs with jam and give them to the millipead babes for dumiies

  19. 29
    Jane Dinham says:

    Would the public really accept a Labour leader who has a name that no-one can spell – and a brother with the same surname? This isn’t Poland, you know.

  20. 31

    Cooper, Bryant, Austin, Watson and Balls: sounds like a rework of Trumpton by Tim Burton.

    That Bryant bloke is total pants, by the way.

  21. 32

    But you’re forgetting the left and their union money. Blairite Milliband? possibly, but only after a blood bath. – BTW take a look at this for Labour ignorance >> http://whogoeshome.co.uk/?p=1048

    • 511
      I used to believe in democracy before Postal voting says:

      If this were to happen the saintly Iain Dale would be an early victim on two fronts.

  22. 33
    Stepney says:

    Johnson, read my lips, Johnson, will never, ever be leader of the Labour Party.

    He’s not so much a coward, more, how could I put it…he’s lacking in self-belief. He just simply doesn’t think he’s up to the job.

    And he’s quite right.

    He isn’t.

  23. 34
    Nobby says:

    Whats this about Warsi saying she and her kind have no morals?

  24. 37
    gone fuckin mental says:

    could be jack-ass straw

  25. 40
    Mad Hattie says:

    Well now that I’m leader it seems a shame to confuse things and have a leadership election.

  26. 43
    John Prescott says:

    Oh, fuckin’ ‘ell, Pauline. I knew I should have hung on for another five years.

  27. 44
    Vote Labour says:

    cake with jam now and forever.

  28. 45
    gone fuckin mental says:

    Heard this rumor , if elected sally bercow will be leader

    • 154
      Smig says:

      What’s the point in replacing one stupid, gnarly old c/unt with anoth…

      Oh I see what you’re doing there. Very clever. Better the devil you know and all that.

  29. 47
    Cheese Lover says:

    Neither of them appear to be British.

  30. 49

    I want Hattie to be the leader, I detest her more than any of them, she will be a poison in the party and make then un electable for many election to come

  31. 53
    The last days of Labour says:

    The utterly reprehensible Harriet Dromey was on BBC2′s election debate today. Brillo grilled her over her hypocrisy in allowing hubby Jack come top in an all-women’s shortlist. My favourite moment came on the issue of Liebore’s deathbed conversion to electoral reform. Brillo said Labour promised a referendum on PR in 1997 and then asked her “Can you remind our viewers what year it is?” and she actually said “It’s 2010″! Good old Brillo always knows how to expose and embarrass them!

    • 268
      Non-Working Class Peasent says:

      yes one of the best men in the media. i’m suprised the BBC keep him on considering his unbiasedness

      • 512
        I used to believe in democracy before Postal voting says:

        He must know where the bodies are buried or have a copy of all the senior managers unredacted expense claims or which ones bother children

  32. 62
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Harman was absolutely terrible at the PMQ’s she stood in for. She’s much more useful in the office – that’s 2 sugars please, there’s a love. Mind how you drive home too, because everyone knows where to find you.

  33. 63
    Panic-stricken Taxpayer says:

    Does anyone know how to cancel a bid on eBay?

    Yesterday I put in a bid for a “Cowboy Outfit” and now it seems I’m only thirty six minutes away from getting the Labour Government !

    • 79
      Anonymous says:

      First rate wit there.

    • 81
      A Kircaldy Resident Writes says:

      ..a cowboy outfit….Yes please….I’ll get one of those for Peter…We’ll use banana’s for guns….Yeeeeehaaaa

    • 103
      Sir William Waad says:

      You should see Lord Mandelson in his chaps!

    • 165
      jprescott999 says:

      FOR SALE TO IGHEST BIDDER, LIKE

      Warn only once, a cowboy outfit what is the best quality, unwanted gift, warn only once I said that already anyroad, this ere cowboy outfit is the dogs bollocks.

      http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/5164726.stm

      Genuine reason for sail, I want the money.

      Buyer pays postage or can collect from Ull. Leave feedback or just feed me, I like pies, will swap cowboy outfit for pies, what have you, must be igh in calories. Also seeking puke bucket, with lid for prefference. Also seeking ferret robes, no mothballs, must look like new, none of your dead piers stuff thank you.

    • 179
      John Prescnut says:

      I had to hand mine back. Kept gettin’ bloody saddle sores on me chipolata.

  34. 65
    gone fuckin mental says:

    micheal meacher , from the ultra left

    • 158
      bergen says:

      That clown will always be haunted by his farcical failed libel action against Alan Watkins.Not one of the workers,however much he protests.

  35. 69
    The IMF is coming says:

    Do they have a similar post on Labour Listing?

  36. 70
    Angela Merkel says:

    When I went to Duckie at the Vauxhall Tavern on Saturday to celebrate 13 years of Labour delivering equality and LGBT rights, I thought I got the warmest possible reception (helped along by the fact I drew the raffle and in a lucky sign the winner was – a pink Number 10!).

  37. 74
    Miki says:

    Just in case it comes to this…what is the proper British English equivalent for “dimpled chad”, “hanging chad” etc?

  38. 77
    Flipper says:

    Jacquie Smith can move at short notice from her sister’s spare bedroom.

  39. 84
    eddie foster says:

    “They in turn will blame Mandelson and Cameron for the campaign strategy,”. The balls up which is the Labour campaign is hardly the fault of dear Mr Cameron – or do you mean Campbell?

    • 100
      Manseman says:

      Have you ever seen them in the same room together?

    • 107
      Brown's Buggered Britain says:

      I can’t help but feel that Mandy will emerge smelling of roses – After all, he sacrificed his top Brussels post to help poor Gordon, but alas Gordon was just too useless.

      Mind you, he might be more interested in a position in the NEXT government, whatever party/parties it consists of.

      • 339
        Henry V says:

        No it shows that he knew the Euro game is up Merkie Angie the German leader has already begun briefing the Germans for their exit from EU. It won’t be long before the Teutonic masses realise that not only have they been hobbled by the Frogs, but they played for the privilege too. Where are the French Euro billions to prop up the Greeks?

        {Sorry I have got bored with the General Erection……}

  40. 85
    Thick As Thieves says:

    The first Demo for Democracy takes place Saturday 2pm Trafalgar Square. Get involed! #democracydemo http://bit.ly/doU6Xj

    • 414
      Gobshite says:

      Is this a UAF rent-a-mob event if the Tories win?

      I hope Sgt. Smellie has given his baton a good polish.

    • 509
      Anonymous says:

      TAT! Looks like you were right about a hung parliament…how long were you predicting it?

    • 517
      EastMidlander says:

      Is this the first of the riots during the summer of discontent (Soap and deodarant will be available)

  41. 88
    Natural Mystic says:

    Coming soon

  42. 90
    I hate New Labour says:

    Balls or Harman, pleeeeeaaaase.

    It would keep Labour out for decades.

  43. 91
    Anonymous says:

    Dear Lord, I know that I haven’t talked to You as much as I should have, but
    this past year You have taken away my favourite actor, Patrick Swayze, my
    favourite actress, Farah Fawcett, my favourite musician, Michael Jackson,
    and my favourite cricketer, Alec Bedser.

    I just wanted to let You know, Lord, that my favourite Prime Minister is
    Gordon Brown. Amen

  44. 102
    Trouble at mill lad says:

    Do Dave and the Tories really want to win, when Greek style riots are on the Horizon?

    • 244
      British rioting competetor says:

      I really want cameron to win, when the riots kick in I would rather him in power than the mentalist.
      At least we know cameron is too nice to crackdown like brown would.

  45. 109
    Mrs B says:

    Ed is a lovely man. He’s MP in my consituency in the former pit-villages of Doncaster.

    You never see him up here, but his leaflet tells me how nice he is. Perhaps I’ll pop down to Islington one day to see if I can catch a glimpse.

    How lucky we are in Donny – Labour councillors f’ked our Local Authority and now we’re left with its MP slime who barely know/care if we exist.

    • 122
      Cheese Lover says:

      You sound bigoted to me.

    • 133
      ST says:

      You have an interesting mayor though….solidly right there’s hope yet surely?

      • 224
        Mdame Defarge says:

        I heard the Mayor of Doncaster is having a really bad time as they are trying to oust him. What has befallen the place is truly tragic I hope you all fight back but suspect there are too many “owned” by Labour for that to happen.
        And HTF did Millipede get that seat he has no connection whatsoever with South Yorkshire.

        • 331
          My Vote Never Counts says:

          Typical ‘dog in the manger’ politics from the usual suspects who lost against him in the Mayoral election.

          Co-operation between parties in a hung Parliament ?

          Forget it!

          Don’t let a good power struggle get in the way of working for & representing the people of Doncaster.

  46. 110
    The Morris Marina a nasty log laid by British Leyland says:

    You HAVE to go for the ‘Sistas’ Hattie and horse face. Those two dykes would keep Liebour out of power for decades.

    Go for it.

  47. 114
    Bertie Bagshott says:

    Animal Farm is burning…….

    • 135
      Steve Expat says:

      Someone forgot to tell Labour that Animal Farm was indended by Orwell to be a warning to future governments, NOT A FUCKING INSTRUCTION MANUAL.

  48. 117
    Gordon is not going anywhere soon says:

    You are wrong Guido, in the event of a hung Parliament unless Gordon resigns then we are stuck with Gordon until he loses a vote of confidence in the house.

    • 142
      Not the right stuff says:

      Nick would not work with Hattie and Balls, both have criminal records involving driving whilst on a mobile phone. British PMs should be above the criminal class.

      • 164
        J.R. Ewing, Jr. BP sabotage our speciality says:

        Labour Ministers have such low aspirations. By the time I was 13 I had someone to answer the phone on my behalf while I driving around the homestead.

      • 300
        O O (ie O2) says:

        That seems to be a good trick.
        Most mobile phones seem to be too small to even sit on.

  49. 121
    Steve Expat says:

    If it weren’t for the election, all the news today would be about the Greek riots.
    Two days of General Strike, widespread public disorder and the government failing to keep control over people who want to retire at 45 on 80% of their salaries.

    Same here in a few months’ time, once it becomes clear how fucked we are??

    • 184
      Where's Norman St John Stevas when you need him ? says:

      It’s obvious that some of the electorate have a total misconception of what a Hung Parliament would mean…they seem to think that representatves from ALL parties will go into a “government of all the talents” or “National unity” which is as far from the truth as you can imagine.
      If on Friday 7 May Labour comes 2nd..Brown as the sitting PM will try and gain agreement from Clegg and LibDems to go into a coalition.If Clegg refuses whilst Brown is PM..the moment Brown resigns the Queen has to call on the leader of the largest party in parliament, in this case the Conservatives to form a government it won’t be a case of areplacement .If he fails then the Queen can try and appoint a temprary caretaker PM who could try and gain support on a non-party basis pending an election or the more likely scenario would be another Dissolution Labour leader being made PM that is contrary to the Constitution
      If the Conservatives are the largest party they can decide to form a minority government or go into a loose pact with another smaller party on a “Confidence and Supply” basis
      The fact is that there is NO requirement for ANY party to go into coalition so people had better realise the hard choices they face tomorrow.

      By all means vote for a Hung Parliament if you really think that is the best option but do not vote with any conceptions that this will sort out the country’s ill because all it will ensure is days of the ensuing chaos

      • 449
        Honest View says:

        Surely the Queen is true blue, if anyone is? Whatever, the result, if the Cons have more than 3 seats, she should send for Dave, declaring that she’s had enough of these Communists.

      • 522
        EastMidlander says:

        Alec Salmond will show Cameron how its done.( In return for more English gelt)

    • 257
      Steve Expat says:

      I just had a thought (I know, I know). The news tomorrow WILL be all about the Greek riots, as any talk of the election is banned on the big day itself.

      Will this story dominating make people realise just how fucked up we are, and therefore more likely to vote for the blue team as the only option for a stable next government..?

    • 273
      Geordie Scoot says:

      The best bit of news coverage of the riots was courtesy of the BBC News Channel earlier today. When I was watching it they split the screen so that on the left was shown Gordon Brown delivering his election speech in Bradford, and on the right were scenes of rioting in the streets. The subliminal message was further reinforced by the fact that the slogan on Brown’s lecturn, in big red letters, was “Fighting For Our Future”.

      • 304
        I dream of Gordon says:

        You’re sure it was ‘our future’ and not ‘my future’?

      • 492
        Curry On Regardless says:

        The rioting on the streets of Bradford came under Labour’s careful watch. Saw that the University of Bradford’s strap-line is “Celebrating mediocrity”. Doomed from today’s visit by Jonah. Mind you. it’s national league position is pretty poor already.

  50. 124
    Sunday Morning says:

    What about the Miliband brothers doing a double act?

    David and Edward….we could call them Dead Wood for short!

    • 152
      amongomous says:

      Loathsome pair of hard-on’s.
      I love to see them on fire.

    • 368
      Tattooed_Arry says:

      They, the Millblands, remind me of “Dusty and Dick” (Bryan Elsley and Harry Enfield). Couldn’t find an image online, but those of us of a certain age will remember them as a pair of besuited nutters who used to do an act with models of the Thunderbirds Vehicles on their heads.

  51. 126
    Anonymous says:

    …and where’s the money on Dave’s successor if he fails

    • 371
      Tattooed_Arry says:

      My money’s on “The Chingford Skinhead”. I’d do a “Tower Hamlets” if we had a vote for him.

      • 420
        Gobshite says:

        He writes a good column in the Telegraph.

        Like any good politician, he loves a good heckling too!

        One of the few parliamentarians out there that I respect.

  52. 135
    Cheese Lover says:

    Gruaniad has an election predictor you can fill in, come on, let’s all go over there…
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010/may/05/general-election-2010-results-predictor-quiz

  53. 137
    Ash Cloud says:

    I’m up for a ruck

  54. 143
    Simon Wiesenthal says:

    I thought my work was done but it’s just started.

  55. 144
    The Sleeper says:

    OK..It’s all very well talking about what the Labour Party may do after the election,but…..if Labour get most seats without a working majority ,but Browns’ position is deemed untenable,and resigns…..what will the electorate do if another unelected PM was foisted upon them?

    My guess is civil unrest..especially if,say, the Tories had a higher proportion of the popular vote in the election.

    • 186
      Adios el Gordo says:

      they will do nothing. people in this country don’t – half of the donkeys who vote will vote labour anyway despite how utterly, utterly crap they are.

    • 456
      Honest View says:

      Nope, only if an unelected Tory gets the job. Tories are too…British to riot. That’s for Lefties and rent-a-mob.
      Take those young Greeks- are they rioting about their pensions? Nah, it’s just good fun to hide your face behind a scarf and have a punch-up. It’s like football used to be (actually still is in Rome, Luton and Istanbul).
      Those affected will march about with placards, but the rioters are just having fun.

  56. 150
    Steve Expat says:

    More commentators going with the idea of the IMF doing an independent audit.

    George Osborne, if you’re reading this, it’s the best chance to blame some serious cuts on Brown’s mob

    http://www.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/5972558/niall-ferguson-britain-should-call-the-imf-now.thtml

  57. 151
    The Daily Politics says:

    Jo Coburn or Anita Anand – who’s best?

  58. 153
    angelnstar says:

    http://cyberboris.wordpress.com/2010/05/05/england-expects/

    Labour would kill to have a backup as good as this……. instead of the weirdoes and nutjobs they are fielding.

  59. 163
    Killer Move says:

    Conservatives have took over the whole of youtube all day tomorrow.

    • 228
      Shit is brown therefore brown is shit says:

      Yeah first ad as soon as you get on site, must have cost a fortune.

  60. 168

    This does rather suppose that brown will go. On Comress polling Labour have 279 seats to Tory 278. Why should Brown go? If he offers huge extra PFI style funding for Wales and Scotland and NI then he is in power for as long as he wants.

    Five more years of Brown.
    Its a very real possibility.

    • 532
      Jezabell says:

      But where’s the funding coming from? We’re in the mire right up to our nostrils, we’ll be sinking into the vat of sludge while Brown’s offering to bribe the country.

  61. 170
    Swiss Bob says:

    I hate to say it but Brown will almost certainly still be PM Friday.

    On the upside the EU may be finished.

    • 526
      Ex Pat Luxembourg says:

      Does this mean I will have to return to this G.d forsaken country ?

  62. 172
    swatcher says:

    Don’t you mean Mandelson and Campbell re Labour strategy. Surely Cameron is’nt that clever ?

  63. 176

    [...] “The Next Election Battle : Labour Leader“. The end of the election is the beginning of another election the author is sure. Unsurprisingly many observers are quite sure that Gordon Brown will retire as the leader of Labour in case his party will lose its (absolute) majority. But even if Labour would win the elections the author indicates there will be a good change that Brown will drop the leadership of his party before the next election period anyway. Though the author states his opinion of the chances of the potential candidates, I could not quite figure out what exactly his personal guess was. But at least he said “The bookies currently are making Miliband favourite, Harman second favourite, Darling is seen as a safe pair of hands caretaker, Balls (if he survives) and Johnson are in the running.” So betting always was of the Brit’s favourite pleasures… [...]

  64. 180
    Gordon ( SoldGoldAtThe ) BottomBrown says:

    An emotional, genuinely heart-felt message to all you bigots out there :

    Remember when I made that brilliant decision to sell 400 metric tons of your Nations’ Gold Bullion Reserves at approximately $260 per ounce ????

    Well, I made yet another brilliant decision at the same time. I bought EUROS and the EURO is on the brink if collapse….

    A VOTE FOR LABOUR IS A VOTE FOR CONTINUED INSANITY !!!

    • 213
      Goldgate says:

      Tomorrows Telegraph headline I understand

    • 219
      Reichschancellor ( in-waiting and waiting and waiting ) Balls says:

      You can’t take ALL the credit for that, Gordon. I helped you with that master-stroke.

      • 243
        Gordon ( SoldGoldAtThe ) BottomBrown says:

        No need to worry. I think I invested the euros in ten year Greek and Spanish debt.

  65. 187
  66. 189
    gone fuckin mental says:

    what about lord lucun?

  67. 191
    Sir George of Formby says:

    Turned out nice again…

    :~)

  68. 192
    Electoral Fraud says:

    My daughter is at University in London. She is voting for the first time and is still registered at her home here in Yorkshire.

    She has only been sent a voting form for London because she is living in a rented flat there.

    So hey presto she has two votes ! One in London & one in Yorkshire.

    AND THATS WITHOUT HAVING TO COMMIT FRAUD ! Fucking unbelieveable !

    • 200
      Killer Move says:

      Vote tory for her

    • 207

      I have a postal vote. I can see the polling station from my bedroom.
      I could throw my polling card. Yet I was allowed a postal vote?

    • 279
      Bloke with aching feet says:

      You can be registered in two places, just illegal to vote in both – but who’s going to find out!

    • 286
      bandersnatch says:

      Even worse is an ‘Electoral Commission Mailing’. You get a rude letter telling you that as you have moved house you need to claim your vote from the local authority or you can’t take part in the election. Two such letters arrived at this address one addressed to The Occupier, and one addressed to someone with a name just a tad like mine. We got five ‘claim a vote today’ forms in all and no-one has moved in here; we have lived here for yonks, and already have postal votes. That watchdog has rubber teeth and is CREATING electoral fraud.

    • 455
      Geordie Scoot says:

      I voted twice in the 1979 election – once for Libs and once for Tories in 2 constituencies 280 miles apart.

  69. 198
    The Morris Marina a nasty log laid by British Leyland says:

    Even if Cameron gets a majority, the one eyed twat won’t go.

  70. 199
    Go Fourth says:

    The B & P are predicting that they will come 4th in the number of votes cast. If that happens will the British public really vote YES in a PR referendum?

    • 202
      Killer Move says:

      link?

    • 230
      Steve Expat says:

      That’s quite possible.

      The UKIP campaign has all but dried up except in Buckingham, the various Nats aren’t standing everywhere and the B&P have more than 300 candidates. Don’t forget they got a million votes in the Euros last year, in fifth place.

      If they get a million votes but no seats tomorrow, it will act as a serious counter to all the PR supporters. 2% under PR would equal a dozen seats in Parliament for the filth

      • 378
        The only B*NP in the village says:

        The Filth as you call them have a manifesto what the old Tory manifesto used to be.

  71. 205
    • 237
      An optimistic pessimist says:

      Notice they only picked Labour/Libdem voters. So much for Calvert’s surge!!

  72. 208
    kipper says:

    I’m smoked

  73. 210
    WAKE UP CALL says:

    <<<>>>

  74. 211
    WAKE UP CALL says:

    LABOUR DO NOT REALISE WHAT IS COMING TOMORROW

    • 232
      Simon Wiesenthal says:

      I think not! they’re currently in their departments burning any incriminating evidence.

    • 353
      Postal Coordinator says:

      “LABOUR DO NOT REALISE WHAT IS COMING TOMORROW”

      *chortle* Oh yes we do…

  75. 223
    Frankie Howerd says:

    Vote ye NOT!

    The scams of democracy are upon ye.
    Is but a cloud of deceit, that ends up with tyranny of many colours.

    The Prologue…

  76. 226
    Engineer says:

    Nightmare scenario for Friday.

    No overall majority, but Labour have slightly more seats (postal votes, anyone?). McRuin refuses to leave Number 10 (as I believe he’s entitled to do if he’s the incumbent in a hung parliament).

    Lord Fondlebum rings Nick Clegg and offers a coalition. Clegg says OK, but the Broon goes first. Fondlebum seen entering Downing Street, period of quiet followed by gunshots. Lengthy silence.

    Saturday morning, press statement announcing the death of the PM by heart attack (brought on by being shot through it, but the press statement glosses over that bit). The Deputy Leader is therefore assuming the role of PM, and Clegg, having been outmanouvered by Fondlebum, is now in coalition and accepts two cabinet posts, Ministry of Administrative Affairs and Ministry of Silly Walks (or some such) for his party.

    The Queen, through gritted teeth, is constitutionally obliged to invite Hattie Harperson to lead a WomensLibLab government. The IMF man the phones for the inevitable call, and Cameron sits back to await the inevitable shitstorm and an October election, which the Tories then win by about 200 seats.

    • 289
      bandersnatch says:

      And then they all continue building the windmill.

      • 434
        Can't remember my moniker says:

        … discovering in the process that there is no wood left and all the tools are either blunted or broken and the Chinese have gained control of all the commodities as they can pay for them in cash whilst our “unconditional order in writing addressed by one person to another, signed by the person giving it, requiring the person to whom it is addressed to pay on demand or at fixed or determinable future time a sum certain in money to order or to bearer” is deemed to be worthless.

        [With thanks to the drafters of the 1882 Act.]

  77. 227
    a future fucked for all says:

    please please please let hattie take over……..

    she is even thicker than brown………

    ps i wonder what reward gordon will get from the russians?
    new dacha on the black sea?

    he and his prop forward wife can live there whilst doing charity work!!!!!!

    can u believe the shit this hoon comes out with?

    gordon will give it all up to do charity work!!!!!hahahhaha….

    like fuck he will………they only want people with SKILLS in africa old girl………
    i can just see you building a house or digging a well…

    (mind you,sarah has got hoddies legs)!

    useless fuckwit!

  78. 231

    Is it too late to send a patrol craft up the Thames to find colonel Brown and “Terminate with extreme prejudice.”

  79. 234
    An optimistic pessimist says:

    The BBC are not mentioning it at all and Sky only mention it during the business news. We are apparently going to be running a deficit of 14% GDP, which is the highest in the EU. Time to stock up on catleprods!

  80. 235
    Manslickscum & Sweaty Balls says:

    It’s going to be our ‘Azel Blears.

  81. 240
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Who gives a flying fuck which nonentity leads this irrelevant rabble? They no longer have a realistic base. There is no such thing as a ‘working man’ in the terms that the party was founded to represent. The only thing that held them together is now being prised away from their grasp. Their finger nails are tearing and bleeding as they attempt to hold onto something that has largely slipped away over the cliffs and is picking up speed as it hurtles towards the unyielding grey-black granite rocks below. When the tide comes in it will remove most of the blood and tissue, if not the bones which will gradually bleach, if we get any sun again.

    Meanwhile we are economically back to the times of the Anglo-Saxons. Constitutionally, we are back to the times of William the Conqueror. In terms of liberty we are some time pre Magna Carta. Militarily back to the Hundred Years’ War. Socially we are back to the times of the English Civil War. Financially back to 1945, but this is based on known national obligations. When the truth becomes known, we may find that we are back to when the sea first cut us off from the continent some 7,000 years or more.

    And all this was wrought in just 13 years.

    We have some work to do.

    • 287
      Engineer says:

      See what you’re saying, CRMM, but think you’re being a bit harsh on the Anglo-Saxons. As far as I’m aware, there’s no historical evidence of them running up large debts; indeed, I think there’s quite good evidence that they settled up on time. I seem to recall that the Vikings, for example, were rather insistent on that.

      • 387
        Can't remember my moniker says:

        Engineer, as always, I value your excellent contributions. I am a great fan of the Anglo-Saxons and the Making of England exhibition at the British Museum in 1991 was for me a revelation of their wonderful craftsmanship, especially in gold work. They traded all over Europe and with the far east. I did not accuse them of running up debt at all. I was simply trying to point out that in economic strength, it were as if we had been taken back to those days, losing the value of a millennium of trading.

        My thoughts for debt were clearly classified under “financially back to 1945″. Some commentators have said that things were much worse in this respect when we emerged from the Second World War. I beg to disagree. Despite the best efforts of the Luftwaffe, we still had a serious manufacturing capacity. This put the debt, awful though it was, into some perspective. I have spent virtually my whole lifetime in finance. When I look at the incredible levels of debt we have incurred, add a reasonable estimate of what is not declared, and then consider that against our current ability to provide added value i.e. the means to repay it, I challenge any human being, whether economist, banker, politician or otherwise to name a less propitious moment in our financial history.

        My financial career came to its natural conclusion in 2001 when I said that the sub-prime business that all my clients wanted to write would end in tears. They told me I was out of touch. My previously very comfortable and busy existence became a modest and quiet one. I even began to doubt myself and had health problems. Then the wheels finally came off the wagon. Fortunately I had got out. It gives me no pleasure to be able to say to my previous critics, “I told you so!” But I do think it, especially now we are deciding who is going to manage the shop next.

        • 490
          Engineer says:

          CRMM – My apologies for my misinterpretation of your original post – indeed, on re-reading, I share your fears. It is a worrying aspect of this mess that much is being concealed; let us fervently hope that the true state of affairs is not quite as bad as we fear.

          There are some grounds for quiet optimism, I think. It has been said that the British are at their best when their backs are to the wall. If the next incumbents are rather more honest with us than the current lot, and fully explain the gravity of the situation, it may galvanise the more enterprising to action. Much has been said about reviving our manufacturing industry, and whilst steady expansion would be welcome, it has to be said that we have never completely lost it – we are still world-beaters in many areas. If we can cope with the competition from the rising economies of the far east, mainly by avoiding shoddy or labour-intensive products, manufacturing may grow again, but it won’t save the economy on it’s own, and not in the short term.
          There are other contributors to the economy that should be encouraged. Tourism, for example, and food production. We import 40% of our foodstuffs – let’s encourage farmers to get that down to 20%, say. Our best universities are still among the best in the world, so let us unashamedly cash in on that. Despite the current fashion of banker-bashing, we need to nurture the financial sector, perhaps with a return to more old-fashioned values that (for example) the Swiss never really lost. We need to exploit our strengths, address our weaknesses, and demand that government gets off our backs and lets us get on with it.

          That said – it’s still a hell of a deep hole to climb out of; if we manage it, it will take far longer than falling into it did.

      • 393
        Tattooed_Arry says:

        The Anglo-Saxons are widely regarded as being the most culturally advanced society of their time.
        Elected Monarchy if my memory serves me correctly, (our History Teacher used to read us The A.S. Chronicle in the original tongue)
        .

  82. 246
  83. 248
    Jack Meoffe says:

    I heard that Labour had hired a Magician to try help save them the election, but he pissed off, when Mandy kept asking to enter his magic circle!!!!

  84. 255
    Thick As Thieves says:

    Im voting Labour BECAUSE ROBERT MUGABE BACKS THE CONSERVATIVES – Telegraph http://bit.ly/9o0CMJ #GE2010 #ukelection

    • 267
      The cock tappers and arse shunters social club says:

      Mr Mugabe is a fine humantarian and poitician and i shall follow his lead.

  85. 263

    Hattie for labour leader! Huzzzah!

    Seriously though, who gives a shit? Labour are fucked but then, so are Dave’s “conservatives” – mainly cus they ain’t conservatives. The libdems are fucked when the bubble bursts, and anyway, we’re all of us even more fucked than Greece. The only thing keeping our economy afloat is misplaced optimism in the goodwill of our grandchildren, as yet unborn.

    I’d like to meet an individual who thinks they’re *not* fucked, in this fair land of ours. What a sad deluded fool they’d be.

    Bollocks to everyone. That’s my motto. I just don’t fucking care any more, and I’ll kill any cünt who tries to make me think otherwise.

    • 284
      Sir William Waad says:

      Fancy a glass or two?

    • 301
      lolol with the real lolol moniker says:

      You may be right FF about Daves “conservatives” was in a market town today and both Liebour and Conservatives were about,I could figure out who was the Liebour ppc as he had a suit that must have cost an arm and three legs,the thing that got me was how friendly they were with each other bosom friends my mrs said.it’s all a game and the game is against the braindead public,umtil the twats lift their eyes occasionally from the tv and see that they are getting screwed this is life..

    • 310

      Time to apply for Guido’s Victor Meldrew spot, Frank.

    • 359
      Shit is brown therefore brown is shit says:

      My grand kids and great grand kids are now on a small farm I arranged so I am ok and prepared for a world of dearth. They are being taught all the old skills of the 19th century and as much off the grid as possible.

    • 422
      Geordie Scoot says:

      “When they knock on your front door
      How you gonna come?
      With your hands on your head
      Or on the trigger of your gun?”

  86. 272
    yvette coopers snatch says:

    bit pongy in here

    • 299
      Edward Odessa Balls says:

      That’s why i only do your arse,oh and coz you looklike a schoolboy.

  87. 274
    Moley says:

    My favourite candidate would be Darling because he appears to be honest human and intelligent.

    But being honest, human and intelligent, he has already said he would not consider the leadership “even for five minutes”.

    I think he means it.

    As for Milband, he is Batboy to Batman Mandelson, the Dark Lord sweeping through politics with his cape trailing behind him.

    All the decent people have been driven out by Brown, Balls and Whelan, there are some decent people still in the Labour Party but no one with any sense or ability wants the job.

  88. 276
    HeyJude says:

    If either Ed Balls or David Miliband win then all parties will have leaders form Generation Jones. Generational identity is one of the salient, yet underplayed, elements of this race. I read a fascinating piece in The Independent about how Clegg and Cameron are members of Generation Jones (between the Baby Boomers and Generation X). GenJones leaders have apparently taken over global leadership recently (Obama, Sarkozy, Merkel et al) and with the election this week will do the same here (the new Parliament will be dominated by Jonesers who will fill previously Boomer MP seats). Here is a link:
    http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/jonathan-pontell-cleggs-rise-is-the-sound-of-generation-jones-clearing-its-throat-1961191.html

    • 385
      stilyagi_air_corps says:

      Hmmmmm… Generation Jones – isn’t that a media-friendly way of saying ‘Thatcher’s Children’?

      Well, I’d rather be one of those than one of Brown’s Babies!

  89. 278
    marcus aurelius says:

    If My Lord Mandleson is offered a seat on the BP board to fund his lifestyle please can we organize a national boycott of BP?
    It’s bad enough with imbeciles such as Baroness Jay on the board of BT because her old man was once PM.

    I’m about sick of carrying a this scum because of its string pulling connections. I know it’s very multiculti European and Indian sub continental but it ain’t fair.

    • 355
      Shit is brown therefore brown is shit says:

      When the Americans finish with BP they won’t have a company to sit on the board

  90. 280
    Sandy McBlaster says:

    A “well hung” parliament will require all members to be exposed to thorough scrutiny. How will Harrperson get around this.

  91. 288
    Sir William Waad says:

    After long and serious thought, I have come to the conclusion that Gordon Brown is a thrush.*

    *an irritating cnut

  92. 291
    Gorgon Clown says:

    Fear me! Love me! I’m your leader, now and forever!

  93. 294
    yvette coopers snatch says:

    just had a tx from ed.

    morleys gone to the tories.

    hopefully that will keep the stammering cleff pallet Hunt away from me tonight

  94. 297
    theprofromdover says:

    Labour shortlist -what a sorry crew.

    Mandy (nope)
    Milli-Vanilli (nope)
    Ed Rubberband (nope)
    Margaret-a-Beckett (for the last time, nope)
    Ed-Bollix (nope)
    Postmaster Johnson (nope)
    Harriet the Harridan (nope)
    Man-of-Straw (def. nope)

    That leaves only three -er four, er five
    Darling-Darling (after the makeover)
    Pater Hain * (in his mind at least)
    Baldemort
    Denis Healey, Roy Spluttersly -anyone from the Lords
    Tony B…………………………. !

    When u see that lot, you realise the Great Leader could invoke an underwear-change in all of them with just a scowl.
    If they don’t watch out, Labour will become the permanent third party for at least a generation. They better pray there is no proportional representation from a tory/lib.dem coalition govt.

    The old social democrat gang of four must be skipping round the playground in anticipation.

    (* joke)

  95. 298
    Labour Are Dead says:

    The awesomeness of Brillo in action:

  96. 302
    oldfella says:

    Given that there will only be a transit van load of new labour MPs after the election I reckon they will never be able to select/appoint/chose/adopt/badger in a new leader. They’ll be too busy fighting … and in a van!!! So we will have to look elsewhere for a leader, not too far, maybe the BBC indeed – imposed from above (allah) – Ross Kemp with Nicky Campbell as his sidekick

  97. 303
    yvette coopers snatch says:

    hey

    what am i doing on andrew neils head?

  98. 312
    Kevin Webster says:

    I want Gordon “Norris” Brown to win
    He and Rita Mandelson can then both f** off into the sunset together as the world implodes

    • 343
      Deirdre Barlow says:

      My Ken reads the Guardian, you know.
      The snotty-nosed stuck-up miserable leftie bastard.

  99. 314
    Ed says:

    I see that rioting Greek communists/socialists have just murdered three bank workers, including a pregnant woman.

    It seems these violent scum will stop at nothing to ensure they have feather-bedded government jobs on demand, from which they can retire at age 50 on generous pensions.

    • 318
      BBBBB says:

      Bob Crow and Derek Simpson will be so proud.

      • 338
        Lightweight Cast Iron says:

        parasites do not take kindly to being torn from the taxpayer’s teat

    • 360
      streamfisher says:

      No coincidence it happened at a Bank, wondered how long it would take before another Storming of the Bastille and then getting the guillotine out, but as ever its the innocents that suffer.

  100. 321
    streamfisher says:

    I’m more worried about this election, if Gordon Brown stays on as P.M via another sleazy stitch up I will play Russian roulette with a Blunderbuss and insist I have first go.

    • 340
      Shit is brown therefore brown is shit says:

      I remember firing one of them when I was about 14.it took a telegraph pole out and threw me about 8 feet.

  101. 322
    Dark Lord says:

    Sky news interviewer – “Do you know who you will be voting for?”

    Woman cuddling small child – “I will make up my mind in polling booth”.

    So much for policies then!!!!!

    • 337
      Shit is brown therefore brown is shit says:

      BBC .to pothead. Who are you voting for.? pothead.why whats going on

    • 352
      Engineer says:

      I’ve heard a quite a few vox pops along those lines, and in some cases I think it’s down to people being too polite to say “Piss off and mind your own business”.

      There are of course, a few people daft enough to vote for someone because they have a nice name.

    • 377
      Professor Henry Brubaker, Institute for Studies says:

      I kind of work that way when picking a nag for the Grand National, seems to work.

  102. 324
    Cato the Uncensor says:

    Just driven around Islington and there are a lot of Labour boards. How badly does Nulabor have to fuck things up before these people put their brains in to gear?

  103. 328
    Shit is brown therefore brown is shit says:

    Don’t go too mad tomorrow

  104. 330
    amongomous says:

    I’d love to see Dennis Skinner as the next Labour leader,that should ensure they’re never elected again.
    But i reckon Cleggy will be facing Cammers at pmq’s so i really couldn’t give a fuck who leads a fragmented discredited fringe party like Liebore.

  105. 334
    yvette coopers snatch says:

    http://conservativehome.blogs.com/thetorydiary/2010/05/tory-lead-is-8-in-first-poll-of-the-evening.html

    first poll up

    torys with an 8% lead

    anyone got any vagisil?

  106. 335
    shameless BBC are becoming even more biased says:

    BBC Radio 4s Today programme has just broadcast a report blatantly urging people to “vote tactically” against the Tories tomorrow.

    If Cameron wins tomorrow, one of his first acts must be to cut these Labour shills down to size before they increase their attacks against his new government.

    • 356
      Henry V says:

      It didn’t take long for ZanuLabour to reshape the Beeb in their image.

      Growing up I remember the BBC’s colour scheme was a nice sombre dark blue. Now it is red; I am believer in the blatantly obvious school of propaganda.

      If DC has anything about him he will break the BBC so it can never be used again by any party.

    • 439
      Axe The Telly Tax says:

      Dave must destroy both the BBC and their trade union chums in the first 100 days or they will destroy him.

      • 451
        Umptious says:

        Give me the job. I will tear through it like a hurricane in 24 hours.

        • 525
          Brown Hater says:

          A swift review by Kelvin Mackenzie ought to do the job. He can report back to Dave by Saturday morning!

          Splendid chap!

  107. 348
    Boulay says:

    the silly thing is that brown would thrive as oppo leader with the lying and attacking people. He has spent the last 13 years blaming the Tories for everything and has been asking cameron questions at pmqs for two years.

    I imagine he is the person cameron would least like to have opposite him in parliament.

    However I personally will be happy never to see his lying face again.

  108. 357
    Davey One says:

    One thing of course who ever gets ths Job, (David Milliband I would bet on) will at least have job security for the next 14 years as leader of the opposition! (God forbid Harriet ‘equality’ Harman)

    We could always take a tip from Simon Cowell who commented in The Sun today that we do need change, been obvious to most of us for over 2 years but we could take it a stage further and do a “Rage at the Machine” protest vote and get UKIP in , Like when Cowell assumed he would always have the Christmas number one;

    • 539
      Todger says:

      The new leader of te Labour party will be…………………………..Gordon Brown but I wonder who the new leaader of the Conservative party might be

  109. 358
    The Sleeper says:

    As the last campaigning draws to a close,am I the only person to think that Clegg has finished in exactly the same light as he started….?

    …..Lightweight….like a prebubescent schoolboy..full of enthusiasm,but nothing of any substance to say.

    • 382
      nell says:

      I’d still like the libdems to end up as the 2nd party in parliament, the opposition, and labour to be reduced to a minority party.

      It seems to me that would be an appropriate punishment for what they have done to our troops, for all their lies and for the mess they’ve made of economy and the country.

    • 394
      barefootcontessa says:

      No, you’re not the only one, I’m another one.

    • 415
      Grandma says:

      Bit like a young, enthusiastic Labrador, perhaps?

      • 527
        Brown Hater says:

        …capable of ‘licking his own bollocks’ and that’s about it!

  110. 363
    Anonymous says:

    BBC news just asked all three of the main candidates two questions each.

    Both Clegg and Brown didn’t answer their questions and rambled on with a mantra that was nothing to with the questions.

    I think that people watching that will see Cameron is the only straight talking politician of the three. Another nail in the coffins of Labour and the Lib Dems!

    Would love to have heard a roper response to Browns question of “will you stand down as leader of the Labour party if you lose the election?”

    • 379
      Anonymous says:

      Now the Beeb giving Gordon a free party political broadcast. Stooges asking questions which is obvious by the fact they are taking no interest in his answers or giving eye contact.

    • 403
      Captain Codling (son of Haddock) says:

      Cameron straight talking? You need to steady up a bit on the Crack pipe he’s as slippery and as obfuscating as the other two political cockroaches

      • 437
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

        Talking of crackheads how are you TAT ?
        have you put the rope on the tree in your garden ?
        for tomorrow life will become unbearable for you
        as Gordons chums que up to lose their deposits and their dignity
        you will lie there in your own filth as the will to live slowly drains away from your piss soaked corpse
        goodbye tat !

  111. 364
    Gooey Blob says:

    Labour would remain unelectable under most of the alternative leaders. Darling is probably the only one who would stand a chance of regaining seats. Labour’s best chance might have come with Purnell, but he is standing down at this election.

    Miliband, Johnson and Harman would drive more voters to the Tories.

  112. 365
    nick says:

    Caroline Flint taking her clothes off now on the Parliament Channel

    • 497
      varsteiner says:

      Kate Silverton the interviewer and getting tits out for the lads ?

  113. 366
    Wazza says:

    Aint the best thing that the Lib/Lab Govt have to call in the IMF, make the cuts and then let the govt fall and have a proper election when the truth is known.

  114. 375
    nell says:

    You have to remember gordon has all the properties of superglue.

    Even if he loses the election badly tomorrow, he’ll hang onto the labour leaders job tighter than a limpet to a rock at low tide.

    I see after his interviews with cleggie, cameron and gutlessgordon , adam boulton was talking vaguely about candidates who have delusions of grandeur. He wasn’t referring to cleggie and cameron.

    I was wondering the other day what we’d find to blog about when we finally lost gordon the comedian. Well I don’t think we’ve heard the last of him for some time yet. The next couple of weeks might be even more entertaining than the election campaign has been.

    • 395
      Anonymous says:

      I have a feeling their will be ex aides/secretaries /civil servants queuing up to sell their Gordon stories.

    • 398
      the election will be in june! wrong! says:

      no he won’t

      • 427
        nell says:

        June hmm? Is that worth taking a bet on ? And any idea what the odds might be?

    • 424
      Ted Bundy says:

      Don’t worry Nell there will be plenty to blog about the Nu Conservatives just like Labour will very quickly and corruptly start helping themselves to the trappings of power and the people’s cash. Blogs like this will turn on Cameron with the same venom and hatred they used against Brown. Cameron is a greedy expense flipping shyster who like many others should not now be in Parliament.

    • 471
      Honest View says:

      In an odd way, I don’t want Gordo to go. He’s really a unique comic act, with a seemingly endless repertoire of lunatic statements while still adhering to that trademark gurning- there’s just no-one in his class as a clown.

    • 538
      Todger says:

      Agree. Wonder what cleggie will do if Brown offers him 27 percent of all cabinet jobs to represent Cleggies percentage of the vote.

      I suspect Cleggie, for all his “moral principals” will find it irresistable.

      Brown is a cunning fox, shameless, and will not give up easily

  115. 376
    politicalfretting.com says:

    I see you’re not taking the polls too seriously either Mr Fawkes.

  116. 383
    amongomous says:

    My fucking neighbours have no shame,there is a vote Labour poster in their garden.
    Rest assured i shall be posting the contents of a dogshit bin through their letterbox tonight.
    Shame on them!!
    Shave their heads.

    • 418
      nell says:

      Hubby just been on the phone to no.1 daughter telling her she has to vote tomorrow for cameron.

      What a laugh I was having!! Said she quite likes the nice mr brown and was thinking of voting for him. And no she wasn’t kidding!! Thought hubby was going to have a heart attack!!!

      After a spirited argument he seems to have persuaded her to vote UKIP (anything but brown or beenp party)

      No.1 son fortunately follows his parents line of thought so no problem there. At least we’ve done our bit to get the vote out.

      Happy Days!!!

      • 430
        Anonymous says:

        nell, given your well documented distaste for Brown, what went wrong with No.1 daughter exactly? And what is so nice about a man who rubbished an old woman behind her back? Doesn’t she watch the news?

        • 494
          nell says:

          +++Laugh+++ Life has taught me you can raise your children well but once they leave the nest they are their own person and don’t necessarily share your views.

          I shall have my revenge. If she keeps on her path I shall not be leaving her my bantam hens (always supposing I have some) when I peg out!!

    • 428
      Voting is war says:

      wrap it around a house brick and lob it through the window.

      • 445
        Axe The Telly Tax says:

        Sneek in the garden at night and replace it with a vote Conservative poster.

  117. 384
    TRUCK OFF BROWN YOU MENTAL C*NT says:

    Brown is at Eddie Stobbart
    who the fuck invited him there
    they were a front runner in the fuel protests under blair
    they transfered their operating base to Belgium because for each penny rise on fuel duty costs them £4,000,000 i can’t believe that they think better of Brown than Blair after all Brown forgot to put restrictions on eastern europeans comming into this country to under cut their business !

    • 406
      barefootcontessa says:

      I thought more of Eddie Stobart. Was Eddie Stobart himself present? I think not!

      • 425
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

        Eddie stobbart is dead but the son and his buisness partner were there !

    • 444
      Kunts says:

      Their wagons shipped a lot of the cheap gold out,some dummy runs went with them

  118. 386
    Dark Lord says:

    I kid you not when I tell you that a person posted on a blog for my village that he will vote Lib Dem because the candidate is “approachable”!!!!!!

    Policies!!!!!!

    Oh we have been here before.

    • 404
      streamfisher says:

      Well at least that rules out most of the Labour Party, especially Gordon Brown, John Prescott and Ed Balls to name but a few.

  119. 390
    Cast Iron Cockup says:

    After much wailing and gnashing of Tory teeth tomorrow night the next election could well be to replace the busted flush that was Call me Dave.
    If he fails to deliver an overall majority he wins the Jeff Astle trophy for the most glaring miss in the biggest game of your life.

  120. 392
    thick as thieves says:

    due to that fuckwit cameron becoming pm on friday and the imminent sight of my punt of £5000 on a hung parliament going down the shitter, I can now reveal the good news – that I will be open for business as usual in the kings cross area. filthy tramps and pensioners especially welcome, with a new bogof offer in the pipeline.

  121. 407
    Obey The Law says:

    Gordon Brown has been ordered to release information before the general election about his controversial decision to sell Britain’s gold reserves.
    So as that is tomorrow why has he not obeyed the law? Why has the Telegraph gone all quiet?
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/investing/gold/7511589/Explain-why-you-sold-Britains-gold-Gordon-Brown-told.html

  122. 409
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Brown yesterday on the telly was at an Asda he was taking questions from members of staff
    untill one girl said her partner was made redundant and couldn’t find a job
    he turned around and said “does anybody want to ask a question about tax credits” ?
    the questions must have started to touch a nerve
    on 5 live this morning he was taking questions from a phone in and he said the same thing
    does anyone want to ask a question about tax credit
    what a prick telling the voters what questions he wants to answer Bye Bye Brown !

  123. 411
    There now follows a party political broadcast from Prezza says:

    my fellow countrymen, women transgendered persons persons of neutral sexual identity, and all that other bollocks harriet keeps bangin on about I am here tonight to say to you I that know that right now at this moment in time you have a dilemma you’re thinking should I vote for a party which can get us out of this mess which started in america, a party you can trust, which is honest and fair or should I vote labour well the answer my friends is that gordon brown is your man he may not have the spin and polish of the public school fraternity and he may sometimes put his foot in his gob aproprole calling that old bat a biggot but you know what I say to you is this my friends I am working class and I understand your fears I know you are worried about losing your benefits and having to go out to work but you know we have tried to help by importing lots of people to do the jobs you can’t be arsed to do so give us credit for that and we have helped make more space in hospital wards by killing patients off with superbugs and we have introduced more postal voting so you don’t even have to miss coronation street to go and vote and incidentally don’t worry if you put a cross against the wrong candidate we can sort that out for you too so in conclusion my friends I will say to you now do the right thing tomorrow vote for the best man for the job but if you can’t bring yourself to vote cameron then give gordon a go eh

  124. 417
    concrete pump says:

    Shouldn’t you be on your way to Barcelona Bernie?

  125. 421
    Dack Blog says:

    I think that a lot of people who say they still don’t know who to vote for mean it – and do intend to vote. I’m one of them, and talking round the table at lunchtime at work, many – most – feel the same… and they’re not cagey types, non-voters or too shy to tell me to mind my own business. This is a fascinating election thanks to the great unconvinced. It’s like pinning a tail on a donkey.

  126. 423
    The Sleeper says:

    Brown fucks up at the end of it all.

    At Eddie Stobarts depot he says..”I noticed that all the lorries have names……

    …do you have one named after me?

    Fuckwit..they’re all girls names!!!!!

    Mind you..this is from the social dropout who can’t drive a car!!!!

    I can think of perhaps one suitable name for your truck..

    ..GayBoy McSnot

    Any others???

  127. 429
    The Sleeper says:

    FFS Guido..can’t you provide us a list of words that gets the automods knickers in a twist?

    No mention of d*i*k..so what’s the fucking problem?

    • 472
      Idi Amin says:

      This one is good for crashing firefox,remove the stars l*aunch c*odes

  128. 435
    The cock tappers and arse shunters social club says:

    Who was the lucky bastard who bought our gold reserves?,i’d vote for them as that was a blinding bit of business.

    • 468
      Chalky says:

      That traitorous little squirt Gavyn Davies formerly of Goldman Sachs had a lot to do with it.

      “From an RSS feed I received a year ago, a person by the name of Peter Falconer aka Sir Peter Falconer, had this to say:
      “Gordon Brown over rode the Bank of England and sold the gold on the advice of his friend Gavyn Davies from Goldman Sachs, who along with other bullion banks maintain a huge short position in gold and they needed physical gold to prevent the price from exploding.”
      I guess the person to ask about the sale would be Gavyn Davies.

      In Wikipedia, Gavyn Davies garners a few paragraphs and this one sentence stands out:
      “Davies is reported to have amassed a wealth of £150m through shrewd investments.”

      Hat tip The Telegraph comments section.

      • 473
        Jan says:

        McDoom on Sky at the moment.He really is mental. Boulton sitting there red-faced.It’s one long monologue from McDoom.’I am going to fight every inch of the way every second of the day…’ Nutter.

      • 474
        The cock tappers and arse shunters social club says:

        Gordon’s a real fucking mug,i bet these sharks couldn’t believe their luck!

      • 489
        c.eng says:

        Isn’t Gavyn DAvies married to Sue Nye, the one who introduced McDoom to Gillian Bigot.

        And wasn’t Davies pre 1997 the impartial commentator on the BBC every breakfast time, spoiling my day, by declaring everything that Ken Clarke and John Major did was financialy clueless.

        How the fuck do they all get away with it and why are the British electorate so stupid, and why are the media complicit in this corrupt cover up.

  129. 454
    derek says:

    Labour wankers, liberal arsehole, thank god I can go back to Canada.

    I came back when it was safe

  130. 457
    Idi Amin says:

    Any heads that roll tomorrow I will eat them

  131. 460
    Neil Boyo Kinnock says:

    Well alright! Well alright! Well alright! Well alright!

    • 481
      amongomous says:

      One thing i remember about the 92 election was the pundits saying the English would never vote for a sheepshagger,surley the English haven’t changed so much that they would consider voting for a moronic scotch mug.

      • 498
        Anonymous says:

        Dont worry after Gordon is jetisoned by his own Party they will install a shiny New Moronic English Mug for you to vote for next time and everything will be alright wont it Nigel ?

  132. 463
    SomeoneFromItaly says:

    Grumpy lot of fuckers on here tonight I see

    • 466

      That’s because we’re having an election where each and every candidate is an arsehole, all the parties are conspiring together to avoid giving us any real choice, and no matter who wins, the public loses.

      Now what was your fucking point again?

    • 480
      The Sleeper says:

      And apart from what Frank said,we’ll have nothing to moan and whinge about after all the fuss of the election has died down..

      Fuck me..we’ll have to go back to insulting TaT.

      And that makes me grumpy.

  133. 465
    Steve Expat says:

    £10 to charity for the first person to quote verbatim what William Hague just said about Labour’s record at the Bristol Tory rally – it WILL be quote of the day tomorrow and on News at Ten tonight…

    • 482
      The Sleeper says:

      Go on then…put us out of our misery.

      • 484
        Steve Expat says:

        I can’t – that’s why I was asking. I listened to it about an hour ago on the BBC politics page.

        It was something like “Gordon Brown doesn’t want to talk about his record, we are more than happy to talk about Labour’s gold selling bank.rupting troop ill-quipping referendum dodging …. (and on for about 30 seconds) record…

  134. 469
    Idi Amin says:

    Arrest in Peterbourogh election fraud

  135. 470
    Bags Packed! says:

    Fucking Sky just made me nearly vomit my dinner when I click onto it and saw the one eyed idiot getting air time again. FFS.

  136. 478
    A Firm Pair Of Breasts says:

  137. 479
    Rioter says:

    Go over here and tell em what you think should be done by Cameron in the first 100 days, notice I said Cameron.
    http://debate2010.force.com/debate?debate=a07A00000023EwqIAE

  138. 485
    Rioter says:

    modded for being too long.so until Guido does his censoring hair’s the link to the conservative manifesto for 1910
    http://www.conservativemanifesto.com/1910/jan/january-1910-conservative-manifesto.shtml

    • 488
      Homer says:

      The similar circumstances are amazing

      • 531
        HARD PARTY GURL IN THE AULD KYNGDUM O\/ PHYFFE says:

        *
        *
        *
        *

        HAI GUISE

        MILLyBRAND

        MILLyBRHAND

        THE PERFPHYQKT KHANDyD8*

        PADDY SHAOUWER UNIT SAYS

        MILLyBILDERBRHANDELBHURGHURG8*

        WUN/TOOTERRTEA

        PHFHAMILLy TREE

        SHAM WRHEQKXSZ

        SHAM WRHOQKXSZ

        #AM

        AM#

        KARBON6O

        SWURVYN MYRRHVYN KAROLYNE KLEIN PYQKS AOUWT AN UDDER WINNA

        AN SAYS

        LET THE TOP BRHAND PLAY ON

        ON AN ON AN ONTU

        INDyEND

        MILLyM#

        *

        ASTA

  139. 496
    GET RID OF THESE ARESEHOLES FOREVER says:

    Who the FUCK actually votes LibDem?

  140. 500
    r.soles says:

    “seen mandelson in his chaps” i thought the chaps were in him

  141. 503
    Banjo Benn says:

    The turning point in our history. At some time since 1945 we have started the journey back through our history

  142. 505
    Brown and out - not long to go. says:

    Just back from a 16 hour day at work – have booked Friday as a holiday – worth it so i can watch the excrement Gordon brown and his thugs being forced out forever and Brown being driven out of Downing St.

    Not long now – 48 hours time and he’s gone out of our lives.

    Fantastic – champagne chilling.

  143. 506
    Brown and out - not long to go. says:

    This site really is crap now – modded for nothing – Guido – there are other sites – adios.

  144. 507
    Anonymous says:

    right so we the private sector pay our taxes to the goverment
    the goverment spends that money on the public sector right so if we are
    borrowing 178 billion a year to pay are wayl does that not tell us something.
    WE ARE FUCKING BANKRUPT.

  145. 524
    Duncan says:

    Why on Earth would Ed Balls be involved in a struggle for the leadership? Can you be a party leader if you don’t have a seat in the commons?

    • 533
      English Viking says:

      You can under the rules of Parliament, but you cannot under the Labour party’s constitution.

  146. 537
    It's Time Labour Had a Lordly Leader says:

    Lord Fondlebum of Foy is the candidate from the dark side.



Clegg’s Revenge | Nick Wood
Cleaning Out Stables | Biased BBC
Time For Single Income Tax | Matt Sinclair
Tech City CEO About to Go Bust | Kernal
Goodbye Guto | Guardian
Hunt Under Investigation | ITV
“Hungarian Little Fascist” | Scrapbook
Beecroft Leak | Telegraph
Guido’s Column | Daily Star Sunday
2020 Tax Final Report | TPA
€ Crisis Ripe for Creative Destruction | Guardian
Naughty Steve Hilton | Bruce Anderson
Time to Embrace 30% Tax | City AM
Greeks Withdrawing Bank Cash to Buy AK47s | Trevor Kavanagh
Why Replace Evil Empire With Stupid Empire? | Peter Hitchens
What Cuts? | Stephen Glover
No Time to Tinker | Fraser Nelson

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Peter Botting



Norman Tebbit has a humble brag:

“We Maastricht rebels were derided and abused for opposing the single currency by the wise, clever, Guardianista soft centre left establishment from whom we now hear so little on the matter.”



The last Quango in Paris says:

Mr Bryant and Mr Watson managing to make the whole hacking affair look like a farce – the more they moan the less I care about the whole subject! So partisan it beggars belief at all costs. They cannot rise above it ! If I was to call the PM a ‘liar’ I would want to be VERY sure.



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