April 30th, 2010

Friday Caption Competition (Window Licker on the Inside Edition)


228 Comments

  1. 1
    Templar says:

    I’ll be out late mummy, don’t wait up for me…

    Like

  2. 2

    If I keep practicing I am sure I will reach my eyebrows

    Like

  3. 3
    James says:

    If…I can…just…get past this…level….YES!

    Like

  4. 4

    “Just going for a drink with Alastair”

    Like

  5. 5
    Shas says:

    Add 1 billion, carry the two and bingo there is no budget deficit really. Thank goodness for a calculator on my phone.

    Like

  6. 6

    “iPhone porn. Can’t beat it!”

    Like

  7. 7
    One Careful Owner until he met Gordon says:

    Tory Bear Phoning to see if the VW Golf is still for sale.

    Like

    • 55
      • 144
        Jonah's Car Crash Campaign says:

        Turns out the driver was a Labour supporter, so that’s twice in one week that they have been sidetracked by their “supporters”. What will event number 3 be?

        Like

        • 168
          Geordie Scoot says:

          Reminds me of Caucesceau’s speech to the faithful just before Christmas 1989 or 1990 – I believe they shot him shortly after.

          Like

          • sinosimon says:

            we will know that is on the cards if labour announce plans for a grand rally after which the dear leader will be extracted by helicopter……its the right thing to do…….in fact the macabre thing is BOTH the former leaders bear a striking resemblance to their nu-labour counterparts……….as they will look in say 15 – 20 years time…..( shown in the images here )………….so given gordy’s known nocturnal lifestyle, and undead appearance the question has to be asked……was the execution the end for the transylvanian duo…or did they arise from the grave and rejuvenate(only slightly in gordy’s case obviously) and find a new band of peasants to fed on?…………….mwahhaahhhaaahaaahhaaaa!

            Like

  8. 8
    C M Carter says:

    It’s not the iphone he’s struggling with, it’s his thumbs he’s not used to.

    Like

  9. 9
    gone fuckin mental says:

    ” so its true Cooper is a man and i have the evidence”

    Like

  10. 10
    Inspector HoonClouseau says:

    Who de man?

    Car crash photo?

    Michelin Man Milliblink.

    Like

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    Music for the lymph nodes makes tie droopy

    Like

  12. 12
    Call Me Dave says:

    Proof that Too many Twits do make a Twat.

    Like

  13. 15
    serving raf officer says:

    Another public paid waste of skin to give our lives for. Tum ti tum…

    Like

  14. 16

    Does my tongue look big in this?

    Like

  15. 17
    minge says:

    Tweeter wears Twat on head.

    Like

  16. 18
    gone fuckin mental says:

    “wheres the barbers ?”

    Like

  17. 19
    Bob says:

    Where is Emily ?!

    Like

  18. 21
    Steve Expat says:

    I’ll get to the snot if I do something else at the same time…

    Like

  19. 22
    Anonymous says:

    Now where is the nearest barbers…

    Like

  20. 23
    Did I Win? says:

    Peppa-the-Pig learns to tie a double windsor knot but hasn’t quite figured out how to use a BlackBerry yet?

    Like

    • 79
      No says:

      It’s clearly not a (double) windsor as one can see from the non-triangular shape and non-symmetricality. It’s most probably a half-windsor.

      Jesus Christ Nu Labour have really let tie knot education standards drop in the last 13 years…

      Like

  21. 24
    Jack says:

    And what about all that inside info from the Spin Room Guido ?

    Like

  22. 25

    “Right then, camera on in high def mode, shutter noise off, check.”

    Now to ‘upskirt’ Kuensberg.

    Like

  23. 26
    bunnco says:

    Nope or Dope? You Decide!

    Like

  24. 27
    gone fuckin mental says:

    “How many more years do i have left at guy news”

    Like

  25. 30
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Now, what comes after “C”?

    Like

  26. 31

    Since taking up the office job, Wolverine had really let himself go.

    Like

  27. 32

    What’s Toadfish from Neighbours doing on the campaign trail?

    Currer

    http://thecurrerball.wordpress.com/

    Like

  28. 33
    gone fuckin mental says:

    ” this picture would look great on my id card”

    Like

  29. 34
    MI5 says:

    DON’T FORGET

    NU LABOUR IS A CRIMINAL CONSPIRACY TO DESTROY BRITISH DEMOCRACY

    Like

    • 164
      the sheep will vote for the wolfs says:

      Same as the Tories and Dave the communist who will destroy the middleclasses with the aid of the EU.

      remember the EU, that fascist organisation that Tory boy Heath got rolling for us knowing it was a conspiracy to destroy Britain and democracy!

      Like

      • 209
        UKIP Until We're Free says:

        Heath should be dug up and ceremonially hung as a traitor. We’d have no problem assembling a mass turnout of choirboys for the event – quite fitting, some would say.

        Like

  30. 35
    Nick B says:

    Having stolen Mandelson’s remote PM control, Tory Bear has the power to make Gordon laugh or curse at the touch of a button.

    Like

  31. 36
    jgm2 says:

    Tory Bear spots the hidden camera and covers his cold sore up just in time.

    Like

  32. 37
    The IMF is coming says:

    Gordon Brown lookalike contestant does last minute revision of tractor stats

    Like

  33. 38
    Anonymous says:

    TB, dear, you put those two things that look like big chocolate marshmallows over your ears, love mummy

    Like

  34. 39
    jgm2 says:

    Tory Bear texts the first photo from the hanging of Gordon Brown.

    Like

  35. 41
    Catosays says:

    ‘Kerry, I’m good at licking envelopes..need any help?’

    Like

  36. 42
    Backwoodsman says:

    “Dear Electoral Commisioner, I am forwarding the enclosed tweet from a K. McCarthy, which I believe is a serious breach of the law.” Yrs TB

    Like

  37. 43
    jgm2 says:

    Tory Bears models the new ‘Pie-Master’ range of chin massagers.

    Like

  38. 44
    someone who went to school in the 80's says:

    “joe -eeey!”

    Like

  39. 45

    Mandelson was cruising on Gaydar and found the only Bear in the room.

    Like

    • 87
      PD77 says:

      I remember an episode of Top Gear where that Lie-bore luvvie Stephen Fry was a fan of an I-Phone App called “Grinder” works just like Gaydar but without the guesswork plus it works anywhere in the country.

      Like

  40. 46
    A Firm PAir Of Breasts says:

    Hopefully I this time machine will work!

    Like

  41. 48
    Harriet's Gnarled Clit says:

    I’ll stitch that fucker fawkes up if it’s the last thing I do.

    Like

  42. 50
    guess who says:

    David Aaronovitch’s new toy boy practices his rimming technique.

    Like

  43. 52
    gone fuckin mental says:

    “did you here the one about me, guido and emily ?”

    Like

  44. 53
    jgm2 says:

    #text to Brown: How’s that dopey, strangey grin working out for y’all?

    Like

  45. 56

    Chris Moyles making a call to ‘comedy’ Dave Cameron.

    Like

  46. 57

    “Oh… this is an odd text from Guido. ‘I bet you can’t stick your tongue out and touch your nose.’ I’ll give it a try and see… {{++flash!!++}} What was THAT?!”

    Like

  47. 59
    gone fuckin mental says:

    ” Dave can i be your window licker?”

    Like

  48. 61

    Want to kill Gordon with a mobile triggered I.E.D? I’ve got an app for that.

    Like

  49. 63
    Cameraphone says:

    After spending 6 years without success searching for a Gordon Brown lookalike, artist Alison Jackson fianally finds her man.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7186807.stm

    Like

    • 90
      barefootcontessa says:

      Try his brother.

      Like

      • 138
        Family of expenses cheats says:

        Under what charges? Is it the cleaning bill thing again?

        Like

      • 163
        Andrew Brown says:

        Hi Contessa

        I’m HIS brother and I’m in Paris taking orders from Electicite de Frence

        So that we can take over the UK nuclear industry

        Complete accident that I am HIS brother of course…

        Like

        • 171
          the sheep will vote for the wolfs says:

          The corporatocracy of the NWO does not exist, nothing to see, move along.

          Like

  50. 64

    Its a picture of Sue

    Like

  51. 66

    There’s even an app for ‘Gordon is moron’

    Like

  52. 67
    gone fuckin mental says:

    ” tory bear recives naked picture of justin greening”

    Like

  53. 71
    Penfold says:

    Tory Bear tries to remember the instructions to turn on his moby……

    Like

  54. 72
    Philip McArthur says:

    Just texting Broadmoor to let them know the grinning lunatic they are probably looking for is on the stage at Birmingham University.

    Like

  55. 73
    Al Megrahi,s Doctor says:

    “Ill have..er..a lamb bunah, pilau rice, kima naan. poppadoms, & an onion bahgee… 10 mins? “

    Like

  56. 76
    Nasty Bastard says:

    Chin punch

    Like

  57. 77
    Grebo says:

    This snake game is quite addictive really

    Like

  58. 78
    John Bull says:

    special needs salad dodger finds animal porn shots on guido’s blackberry

    Like

  59. 80
    twats r us says:

    Another twat twitters

    Like

  60. 81
  61. 83
    Stepney says:

    Bored with debates? Headphones not working? Try Pornography.

    Mmmm….

    Like

  62. 85
    barefootcontessa says:

    One…………two…………four, no, that’s not right, start again. One……..three…….four……..nearly got it. Oh yea, just come to me, One…two….three….four. Knew I’d get it in the end.

    Like

  63. 85
    Is the pope a Catholic? says:

    Where’s the nearest wood, Guido? I’ve gotta go!

    Like

  64. 88
    Sir William Waad says:

    It had all gone wrong for John Grimes since Jedward split.

    Like

  65. 89
    Major Bonkers says:

    [Keying into his blackberry] I am a hot blonde slut, take me hard you great black stallion.

    Like

  66. 93
    Dr Frankenstein says:

    Igor!! Increase the voltage!!!

    Like

  67. 94
    Engineer says:

    It’s from Abdul Basset Al-Megrahi.

    “Hi TB. Weather here, wish you were lovely.”

    Like

  68. 97
    Burnt to crisp says:

    Ed Balls has just been toasted at a hustings in Morley.

    Like

  69. 100
    Busted nokia says:

    Curse of Jonah: Gordon Brown’s launch of a poster interrupted by a car crash.

    See times “Labour follows debate failure with car crash event”

    Like

  70. 101
    Right Bastard says:

    “Somehow, Gordon’s truss has ended up round my neck.”

    Like

  71. 102
    RatCatcher says:

    James! Stop calling me about Kerry’s sex life!

    Like

  72. 105
    Bobby says:

    TB, licking his lips, : I’ve just stuffed hoodie Whelan again…

    Like

  73. 106
    I K H L F says:

    lip smacking, fast texting, suit ill-fitting, tie akimbo, eyes bulging, not listening, spin doctor ignoring, blackberry using, ever twittering, hair fizzing, Tory Bear

    Like

  74. 109

    Was this picture take a split second before the air-bags on Harry’s PoliticsHome.com pro dashboard went off?

    Like

  75. 111

    How do you spell ‘gastric bypass’?

    (sorry bear)

    Like

  76. 113
    the real lolol not the one who's using my moniker says:

    Thought Guido used the friday picture to ridicule people,so what wrong has Tory Bear done to you.

    Like

  77. 114
    Don't forget to vote Labour Gran! ...you big0t says:

    paulwaugh —-on Blairs return

    Cameron on Blair:

    “Great to have him back in the country. He’s one of few people who can afford another Labour govt.”

    Like

  78. 116
    Kim Jong says:

    Brown just had a 10 year old ask him about the post code lottery for prescription drugs

    Like

  79. 117
    Kim Jong says:

    Sky freeview news just had a weak or no signal during Dave’s rant about Brown taking the public for fools, lucky there’s this eh?

    Like

  80. 121
    barrackroomlawyer says:

    To edit (even spelling mistakes) or removing another’s posts (no matter how unlawful) means you risk losing the laws protection ….

    Like

  81. 124
    Gobshite says:

    “You are a much better shag than my husband, Mr. Telegraph journalist.”

    Like

  82. 126
    bandersnatch says:

    My PC is sick and in dock. I’m on my better half’s machine in the sitting room and I haven’t got a Friday picture to caption :-( There is just a blank space… Boo hoo

    Like

    • 131
      Granny Power says:

      get flash sado

      Like

      • 172
        random says:

        this site has 16 scripts running in the background, many related to the ad’s and google. Block ‘em. Then use no script to allow to allow the java / flash scripts you need (ie youtube). The rest are just spying on ya!!

        Like

    • 136
      bandersnatch says:

      Here comes the pic… What a slow machine!

      Tory Bear (or whoever) sniggers:

      ‘If I jiggle this knob I can make Hattie Harperson’s tits wobble.’

      Like

  83. 127
    Car crash Gordon says:

    Photo of Blair in the Times now

    THE ORIGINAL ORANGE GRINNING APE

    HIS EYES ARE WEIRD AS WELL

    NU LABOUR

    THE PARTY OF NUTTERS

    Like

  84. 128
    Zen says:

    Guido you are twat, twat, twat of twatter world.

    Like

  85. 129
    Granny Power says:

    Brown getting attacked by grannies left right and centre

    Like

  86. 134
    I K H L F says:

    Retweet.. Eng Dems xxx; Greens xxx; UKIP xxx; TUSC xxx; BNP xxx; Lib Dem xxx; Tory xxx; Labour xxx, #gameON!

    Opps… delete.. cancel…

    Like

  87. 139
    Har Har says:

    serves them yanks right for laughing about our ash cloud now they have oily slicker

    Like

  88. 142
    Doctor What the f.. says:

    From BBC GE 2010

    1457 Mr Brown is asked by one pupil why he went into politics – he says he saw unemployment around him as he was growing up and wanted to do something to help. He then asks the children what subjects they like at school and what they want to do when they grow up. One says he wants to be an inventor and invent a time machine. Mr Brown says he could introduce the boy to Doctor Who – quite a claim, but then several Doctors have backed Labour’s election bid.

    Well his dream came true, Brown increased unemployment!
    Perhaps the numerous Doctor Who’s supporting him can take him back in the TARDIS and he could decide on another profession instead of politics such as a businessman, that would do something about unemployment; but no, Brown’s types always want to take the money off the businessmen and staff and want the ability to spend it a little on us but the rest on their pet social projects!!

    Like

  89. 145
    happy man says:

    Where have the Miliwank sisters got to? Haven’t heard from them for a while.

    Like

  90. 147
    Ambulance man says:

    BREAKING NEWS

    Alky “We’ve had it” Campbell just taken to the Priory

    He’s having another nervous breakdown and was seen publicly blubbering again…

    Could not have happened to a nicer person..

    Like

  91. 148
    jgm2 says:

    OT – From BBC live feed.

    Fucking hell – Gordon is on a roll….

    #
    1533

    Leaving a Nottinghamshire school on the Labour leader’s tour, we witness another literal rather than metaphorical car crash at a nearby roundabout, says the BBC’s Iain Watson, One of those days!

    Like

    • 149
      jgm2 says:

      Might be a good idea to ground all the planes again until after 6th May.

      Like

      • 150
        Ambulance man says:

        Lock up Jonah they cried

        Even the binmen…!!

        And even the BBC is turning its coat…

        Like

    • 156
      Florence Nightingale says:

      A labour candidate crashed into a roundabout in Kent this week also

      Labour have problems with roundabouts

      Since they think the earth is flat

      They think roundabouts are there to drive over

      Poor things..or perhaps they are just too “emotional”

      Like Prezza losing it again this morning…

      Poor things

      Like

    • 157
      Bobby says:

      Damn

      Another miss

      Please be more accurate

      Like

  92. 151
    David Cameron says:

    It’s Martin Day in drag

    Like

  93. 152
    Disco Biscuit says:

    “What do you mean my hair’s unruly? I’m a BEAR for fuck’s sake”

    Like

  94. 153
    Jon Rosenberg says:

    ToryBear looks lustfully at the picture of a pot of honey that came through on his internet porn fetish bookmark.

    Like

  95. 158
    sid dayshus says:

    Fuck the funny comment, I just want to punch it!

    Like

  96. 159

    “who was prime Minister of the UK but was never elected.? Begins with G.”

    Wow, tough quiz. I know! …G..L..A…D..S..T..O.

    Like

  97. 161
    Anonymous says:

    New poll gives the tories chance of a majority according to the daily express, whilst labour slumps and the lib dems would take second in vote and seats.

    Tories 42%
    Liberal Democrats 35%
    Labour 18%

    Like

  98. 165
    Chubbarow says:

    > OK maybe you are, but you still look like one to me.
    > Cheers, Gillian Duffy (Mrs).

    Like

  99. 166
    Alan Philip Bonggg says:

    Gordon uses his finger but I can do it with my tongue

    Like

  100. 170
    PhaetonFlanFlinger says:

    Text: “I need a man with a tongue like a lizard and can breath through his ears. Yours Harriet xxxx”

    TB heavy breathing…

    TB: “Ok, check tongue…. ” …. oh boll*cks….

    Like

  101. 178
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    This screen is not big enough to see Sally’s complete flange.

    Like

  102. 181
    Jimmy says:

    Tory Modernisation Programme continues: #94: Opposable Thumbs.

    Like

  103. 182
    Susie says:

    Hmmm… not a bad dandruff harvest… should keep me going.

    Like

  104. 184
    Prince Rupert says:

    What has happened to the Bad Al Video, has he bullied Guido to remove it???

    Like

  105. 185
    Del says:

    Give me a pony, mummy, or I will hold my breath! I will! I will! I Will!

    Like

  106. 186
    verticalwater says:

    Brown calls Mrs. Duffy a “baguette”, pass it on. ……..wait a minute!

    Like

  107. 188
    Mohamed was a kiddy fiddler! says:

    Who is it, anyway?

    Like

  108. 189
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Fucking hell that Ed Ball’s pushed all my buttons
    with this Busters world website !

    Like

  109. 190
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    If you think this lap top decoration is childish
    you should see my school books !

    Like

  110. 191
    Jolly Todger says:

    ComparethePissflaps.com

    Like

    • 194
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

      MUUUUUM !

      Like

      • 196
        Can't remember my moniker says:

        Evening Frankie! We have had some TaTs today on this morning’s page but they don’t work after lunch, despite putting in overtime claims to Victoria Street.

        Like

  111. 192
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Harry Botter?

    Like

  112. 193
    TB's unsent text says:

    “Guido, I have embarrassing photos of you so don’t
    you dare photo caption me.”

    Like

  113. 195
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    This Photo has definitley Not been “HairBrushed “!

    Like

  114. 197
    The Beast of the west says:

    The hair to scare

    Like

  115. 199
    Lincolnshire Squire says:

    Fuck me. Ties like that are back in fashion? Better go and rescue them from the bondage drawer.

    Like

  116. 202
    Pamplemousse says:

    The lovechild of Orson Welles puts the finishing touchs to his greatest tweet yet…

    Like

  117. 203
    jimbob says:

    Gordons ‘special’ advisor.

    Like

  118. 204
    The unvarnished struth says:

    Weak, Guido. On the final Friday before the GE, I expected to be ripping into a pic of pasty, unshaven McDoom as he mumbled through the debate, not one of your pasty fat media pals. But it’s your website.

    Like

  119. 215
    HARD PARTY GURL says:

    &
    %
    *
    *
    *
    *

    SPOTTID DYQK

    *

    ASTA

    Like

  120. 217
    Barnabas Scudamore says:

    “window licker ” ?

    That’s a bit harsh.

    Like

  121. 218
    Archie Wedderspoon says:

    Who is this bastard? Why isn’t he under lock and key?

    Like

  122. 219
    Anonymous says:

    Yeah, who is he? I don’t get it …

    Like

  123. 220
    Diablo says:

    Damn predictive text! Every time I try to type Nick, I get Gordon!

    Like

  124. 221
    easyleys says:

    Only another few millimetres and I’ll get that bogie out

    Like

  125. 222
    Dame Davina Pancake says:

    TB endorses the exclusive New Labour saloon “Hair by Hopeless”.

    Like

  126. 224
    Anonymous says:

    Pleeeezze someone tell me – WHO IS HE!!!
    Obviously one of Broon’s mongos but I can’t join in the fun till I have a proper name ….

    Like

  127. 226
    cynic_99@live.co.uk says:

    I love this bit where she takes her knickers off

    Like

  128. 227
    Cynic says:

    You don’t know me but I have been following you now for 8 weeks and opening your email and I think I am in love.

    Please Gordon tell me you’ll be mine!

    Like

  129. 228
    Cynic says:

    Any time he was down he watched it, again and again. Tim loved the subtle way Maggie’s breasts quivered as she announced “The Lady’s Not for Turning” ……. but still he could dream!

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

Does Europe Really Want Britain to Quit? | Nick Wood
Immigration Nation | Hopi Sen
Tories Choose Anti-Israel Candidate in Rochester | JC
Osborne’s Daycare Obsession is a Time Bomb | Kathy Gyngell
BBC Marr Pinko Trying to Ban the Queen | Speccie
Eric Hobsbawm: Companion of Dishonour | Standpoint
Guido Party Gossip | Iain Dale
Russell Brand Comes Out as 9/11 Truther | Guardian
Health Revolution is Underway | Fraser Nelson
UKIP Gets Professional | Red Box
Kelly Tolhurst Wins Rochester Open Primary | BBC


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS




AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,544 other followers