Friday Caption Competition (Window Licker on the Inside Edition)
Secret of Farage’s Success | Prospect
It Was Beeb Not Tabloids That Smeared Help For Heroes | Speccie
Alternatives to Business For Britain Are Muppets | Charlie Mullins
Obama Counsel Knew of IRS Claims Weeks Ago | WSJ
Bunga Bunga Trial: Dancing Girls, Nuns, Nurses & Obama | Reuters
Dave Must Learn From Conan the Barbarian | James Kirkup
Tory Infighting Will Let Miliband In | The Commentator
Real Swivel-Eyed Loons Are in Number Ten | Telegraph
Bozier Accepts Caution | Political Scrapbook
Getting to Know U-KIP | ConservativeHome
Farage Telegraph Advert | Political Scrapbook
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Tom Harris bemoans the public’s attitude to politicians…
“Mr Oborne echoes the lazy, anti-politics whine we hear so often these days, all based on the absurd notion that politicians were once loved and only fell out of public favour during the expenses scandal. He should take a walk to the Strangers’ Bar. But not to sup with the patrons he seems to despise so much, dearie me, no; he should instead look at the paintings on the corridor outside the bar, which depict the devastating fire which consumed most of the Palace in 1834. And he should reflect on the fact that on that dramatic night, as the Commons went up in flames, a crowd gathered on the South Bank to clap and cheer.”
Harold Macmillan says:
” Evans, dear boy, Evans “
I’ll be out late mummy, don’t wait up for me…
At first glance I thought it was old Dolly Draper.
W.W.
Isn’t that one of Guido’s luvvie blue rinse non celebrities `fat bore` or something like that? hey guido why not get us to do a caption on Ed Balls cleaning lady?
He did one of Yvette ages ago, try and keep up.
Wrong Yvette wears the pants in that houshold, Ed would be lucky if he can tie his shoe laces, still it won’t stop the bilderberger becoming Labour leader, he has already been selected, get your bets on now while the odds are still good and the poeple ignorant.
Who’d vote for that slab-faced greasy thug?
When the EU/NWO control both parties, it doesnt matter does it!
Realisation dawns on Harry that he’ll never get a proper job.
How about another cartoon of the pregnant whale Watson who seems to be back to his old Minister of Mudlslinging habits ?
Why is poor Harry’s tongue so spotty?
Man caught applying for £50k a year binmans job in Birmingham.
***He is turned down for being too scruffy.***
W.W.
Man caught applying for £50k a year binmans job in Birmingham.
***He is turned down because he is too scruffy***
W.W.
Sorry but multiple entries are not allowed.
Well they said it was OK for my postal vote.
W.W.
Speaking of which: The Standard is covering this one: http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23829658-police-alerted-to-postal-vote-fraud-claims-across-capital.do
Sorry, Guido, too hung over to think of a caption. And having been in the unenviable situation of interviewing epsilons like the one in the photograph for real, paid jobs, I just feel mildly depressed.
Typical of London – copying Bradford again !
(Except the Plod doesn’t dare get involved in Bradford – well, you remember the riots, don’t you – wouldn’t like all the honoured guests to get slightly miffed again, would we ?)
I’m sure they aren’t but thats what TB was googling.
2nd one was much funnier for some reason??
Clearly the secret to good comedy is………
Timing
What like burying your head in you hands, just when you happen to be on national TV.
In fact there is a new career for old Jonah they could do a re-make of ‘Some Mothers Do Have Em’ with Jonah playing the lead role.
W.W.
Have you seen my baseball?
Al – get two pints in to save time!
If I keep practicing I am sure I will reach my eyebrows
I said no tongues …..
If…I can…just…get past this…level….YES!
“Just going for a drink with Alastair”
Did Thuggie Whelan threaten you again last night Guido ?!
Those who swim with the sharks……….
Add 1 billion, carry the two and bingo there is no budget deficit really. Thank goodness for a calculator on my phone.
“iPhone porn. Can’t beat it!”
Tory Bear Phoning to see if the VW Golf is still for sale.
http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0fU82xAgokf2p/610x.jpg
*applause*
Turns out the driver was a Labour supporter, so that’s twice in one week that they have been sidetracked by their “supporters”. What will event number 3 be?
Reminds me of Caucesceau’s speech to the faithful just before Christmas 1989 or 1990 – I believe they shot him shortly after.
we will know that is on the cards if labour announce plans for a grand rally after which the dear leader will be extracted by helicopter……its the right thing to do…….in fact the macabre thing is BOTH the former leaders bear a striking resemblance to their nu-labour counterparts……….as they will look in say 15 – 20 years time…..( shown in the images here )………….so given gordy’s known nocturnal lifestyle, and undead appearance the question has to be asked……was the execution the end for the transylvanian duo…or did they arise from the grave and rejuvenate(only slightly in gordy’s case obviously) and find a new band of peasants to fed on?…………….mwahhaahhhaaahaaahhaaaa!
It’s not the iphone he’s struggling with, it’s his thumbs he’s not used to.
*snigger*
gets my vote!
” so its true Cooper is a man and i have the evidence”
Who de man?
Car crash photo?
Michelin Man Milliblink.
Music for the lymph nodes makes tie droopy
Proof that Too many Twits do make a Twat.
Text reads….
“Please don’t forget to comb your hair, love mommy xxx”
Whoops, don’t know why I replied to the only unfunny one
Another public paid waste of skin to give our lives for. Tum ti tum…
Does my tongue look big in this?
Tweeter wears Twat on head.
“wheres the barbers ?”
Where is Emily ?!
Who’s removed Emily?
I’ll get to the snot if I do something else at the same time…
Now where is the nearest barbers…
Peppa-the-Pig learns to tie a double windsor knot but hasn’t quite figured out how to use a BlackBerry yet?
It’s clearly not a (double) windsor as one can see from the non-triangular shape and non-symmetricality. It’s most probably a half-windsor.
Jesus Christ Nu Labour have really let tie knot education standards drop in the last 13 years…
Of course it isn’t a double windsor.
Poetic license is clearly beyond you.
I was just being kind to the pig.
For those of you that went to one of those standard-bog-inter-city-comprehensive-review school thingys
http://www.tie-a-tie.net/
TB doesn’t seem the type for double windsor chavvery.
And what about all that inside info from the Spin Room Guido ?
“Right then, camera on in high def mode, shutter noise off, check.”
Now to ‘upskirt’ Kuensberg.
Nope or Dope? You Decide!
“How many more years do i have left at guy news”
Now, what comes after “C”?
“U”
“N”
“T”
N
“T”
One believes that one could spell ones Prime Ministers name with this grouping of words, must dash this place doesn’t run itself don’t you know.
S
“H”
“S”
Since taking up the office job, Wolverine had really let himself go.
good
What’s Toadfish from Neighbours doing on the campaign trail?
Currer
http://thecurrerball.wordpress.com/
Funny sketches Currer.
Good work.
Cheers mate. Forward on.
” this picture would look great on my id card”
DON’T FORGET
NU LABOUR IS A CRIMINAL CONSPIRACY TO DESTROY BRITISH DEMOCRACY
Same as the Tories and Dave the communist who will destroy the middleclasses with the aid of the EU.
remember the EU, that fascist organisation that Tory boy Heath got rolling for us knowing it was a conspiracy to destroy Britain and democracy!
Heath should be dug up and ceremonially hung as a traitor. We’d have no problem assembling a mass turnout of choirboys for the event – quite fitting, some would say.
Having stolen Mandelson’s remote PM control, Tory Bear has the power to make Gordon laugh or curse at the touch of a button.
I thought the NWO just used blackmail on the biggest deviants they put in office?
+++++claps+++++
Tory Bear spots the hidden camera and covers his cold sore up just in time.
Gordon Brown lookalike contestant does last minute revision of tractor stats
TB, dear, you put those two things that look like big chocolate marshmallows over your ears, love mummy
Tory Bear texts the first photo from the hanging of Gordon Brown.
‘Kerry, I’m good at licking envelopes..need any help?’
How about sewing postbags?
The communists are unaccountable and that includes Dave
“Dear Electoral Commisioner, I am forwarding the enclosed tweet from a K. McCarthy, which I believe is a serious breach of the law.” Yrs TB
Tory Bears models the new ‘Pie-Master’ range of chin massagers.
“joe -eeey!”
I dropped my shoe!
Urrrrr……what a Deacon.
Mandelson was cruising on Gaydar and found the only Bear in the room.
I remember an episode of Top Gear where that Lie-bore luvvie Stephen Fry was a fan of an I-Phone App called “Grinder” works just like Gaydar but without the guesswork plus it works anywhere in the country.
Yes and notice that there were no “complaints” to the BBC (well officially). I just wonder if a male straight celeb had gone on there with an app to find female prozzies if the BBC would have slapped Clarkson down?
The BBC “Shit stabbers are fine with us and whatever they do”
What a cool app that would be. ‘Catcall’ or something.
Curtaincall
Beefcurtaincall?
Hopefully I this time machine will work!
I’ll stitch that fucker fawkes up if it’s the last thing I do.
David Aaronovitch’s new toy boy practices his rimming technique.
“did you here the one about me, guido and emily ?”
#text to Brown: How’s that dopey, strangey grin working out for y’all?
Chris Moyles making a call to ‘comedy’ Dave Cameron.
“Oh… this is an odd text from Guido. ‘I bet you can’t stick your tongue out and touch your nose.’ I’ll give it a try and see… {{++flash!!++}} What was THAT?!”
” Dave can i be your window licker?”
Want to kill Gordon with a mobile triggered I.E.D? I’ve got an app for that.
After spending 6 years without success searching for a Gordon Brown lookalike, artist Alison Jackson fianally finds her man.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7186807.stm
Try his brother.
Under what charges? Is it the cleaning bill thing again?
Hi Contessa
I’m HIS brother and I’m in Paris taking orders from Electicite de Frence
So that we can take over the UK nuclear industry
Complete accident that I am HIS brother of course…
The corporatocracy of the NWO does not exist, nothing to see, move along.
Its a picture of Sue
There’s even an app for ‘Gordon is moron’
” tory bear recives naked picture of justin greening”
Why is (s)he ‘greening’ ?
Tory Bear tries to remember the instructions to turn on his moby……
Just texting Broadmoor to let them know the grinning lunatic they are probably looking for is on the stage at Birmingham University.
“Ill have..er..a lamb bunah, pilau rice, kima naan. poppadoms, & an onion bahgee… 10 mins? “
Chin punch
This snake game is quite addictive really
special needs salad dodger finds animal porn shots on guido’s blackberry
Another twat twitters
Looks like ‘Hobo With a Shotgun’ is now in production for real.
Bored with debates? Headphones not working? Try Pornography.
Mmmm….
One…………two…………four, no, that’s not right, start again. One……..three…….four……..nearly got it. Oh yea, just come to me, One…two….three….four. Knew I’d get it in the end.
Where’s the nearest wood, Guido? I’ve gotta go!
It had all gone wrong for John Grimes since Jedward split.
[Keying into his blackberry] I am a hot blonde slut, take me hard you great black stallion.
Prescott replies, it will be very dark when we meet won’t it?
Darkness can’t hide the fact that Prescott’s dick is smaller than his brain.
Cum ere
I’ll do ya
Igor!! Increase the voltage!!!
It’s from Abdul Basset Al-Megrahi.
“Hi TB. Weather here, wish you were lovely.”
Ed Balls has just been toasted at a hustings in Morley.
Link ?
Link!!!!!!
type of toaster?
Dualit?
Curse of Jonah: Gordon Brown’s launch of a poster interrupted by a car crash.
See times “Labour follows debate failure with car crash event”
“Somehow, Gordon’s truss has ended up round my neck.”
James! Stop calling me about Kerry’s sex life!
TB, licking his lips, : I’ve just stuffed hoodie Whelan again…
lip smacking, fast texting, suit ill-fitting, tie akimbo, eyes bulging, not listening, spin doctor ignoring, blackberry using, ever twittering, hair fizzing, Tory Bear
Was this picture take a split second before the air-bags on Harry’s PoliticsHome.com pro dashboard went off?
How do you spell ‘gastric bypass’?
(sorry bear)
Err you spell it
B i g – g u t
Thought Guido used the friday picture to ridicule people,so what wrong has Tory Bear done to you.
Bear prolly lost a bet.
paulwaugh —-on Blairs return
Cameron on Blair:
“Great to have him back in the country. He’s one of few people who can afford another Labour govt.”
Brown just had a 10 year old ask him about the post code lottery for prescription drugs
Sky freeview news just had a weak or no signal during Dave’s rant about Brown taking the public for fools, lucky there’s this eh?
To edit (even spelling mistakes) or removing another’s posts (no matter how unlawful) means you risk losing the laws protection ….
“You are a much better shag than my husband, Mr. Telegraph journalist.”
My PC is sick and in dock. I’m on my better half’s machine in the sitting room and I haven’t got a Friday picture to caption
There is just a blank space… Boo hoo
get flash sado
this site has 16 scripts running in the background, many related to the ad’s and google. Block ‘em. Then use no script to allow to allow the java / flash scripts you need (ie youtube). The rest are just spying on ya!!
thanks
Here comes the pic… What a slow machine!
Tory Bear (or whoever) sniggers:
‘If I jiggle this knob I can make Hattie Harperson’s tits wobble.’
Oi – that’s my job. Unfortunately.
Photo of Blair in the Times now
THE ORIGINAL ORANGE GRINNING APE
HIS EYES ARE WEIRD AS WELL
NU LABOUR
THE PARTY OF NUTTERS
One Cowboy, and a load of Indians.
Pic of Bliar on the online Torygraph front page. He looks WEIRD – almost a caricature of himself.
picture of a quaker on scots porridge.
Guido you are twat, twat, twat of twatter world.
Brown getting attacked by grannies left right and centre
I eat Grannies on Brown toast for breakfast. Saddo yourself.
er was this you
sado
fuck me you can’t offer advice without being threatend
Retweet.. Eng Dems xxx; Greens xxx; UKIP xxx; TUSC xxx; BNP xxx; Lib Dem xxx; Tory xxx; Labour xxx, #gameON!
Opps… delete.. cancel…
serves them yanks right for laughing about our ash cloud now they have oily slicker
From BBC GE 2010
1457 Mr Brown is asked by one pupil why he went into politics – he says he saw unemployment around him as he was growing up and wanted to do something to help. He then asks the children what subjects they like at school and what they want to do when they grow up. One says he wants to be an inventor and invent a time machine. Mr Brown says he could introduce the boy to Doctor Who – quite a claim, but then several Doctors have backed Labour’s election bid.
Well his dream came true, Brown increased unemployment!
Perhaps the numerous Doctor Who’s supporting him can take him back in the TARDIS and he could decide on another profession instead of politics such as a businessman, that would do something about unemployment; but no, Brown’s types always want to take the money off the businessmen and staff and want the ability to spend it a little on us but the rest on their pet social projects!!
I’d like to introduce Gordon to Dr. Shipman.
Where have the Miliwank sisters got to? Haven’t heard from them for a while.
The thick plottens……
BREAKING NEWS
Alky “We’ve had it” Campbell just taken to the Priory
He’s having another nervous breakdown and was seen publicly blubbering again…
Could not have happened to a nicer person..
OT – From BBC live feed.
Fucking hell – Gordon is on a roll….
#
1533
Leaving a Nottinghamshire school on the Labour leader’s tour, we witness another literal rather than metaphorical car crash at a nearby roundabout, says the BBC’s Iain Watson, One of those days!
Might be a good idea to ground all the planes again until after 6th May.
Lock up Jonah they cried
Even the binmen…!!
And even the BBC is turning its coat…
A labour candidate crashed into a roundabout in Kent this week also
Labour have problems with roundabouts
Since they think the earth is flat
They think roundabouts are there to drive over
Poor things..or perhaps they are just too “emotional”
Like Prezza losing it again this morning…
Poor things
Damn
Another miss
Please be more accurate
It’s Martin Day in drag
“What do you mean my hair’s unruly? I’m a BEAR for fuck’s sake”
ToryBear looks lustfully at the picture of a pot of honey that came through on his internet porn fetish bookmark.
Fuck the funny comment, I just want to punch it!
“who was prime Minister of the UK but was never elected.? Begins with G.”
Wow, tough quiz. I know! …G..L..A…D..S..T..O.
Glads toe?
Camel toe?
Well, all of them, actually.
I think I’ve got it! GladsTony! What is the prize?
New poll gives the tories chance of a majority according to the daily express, whilst labour slumps and the lib dems would take second in vote and seats.
Tories 42%
Liberal Democrats 35%
Labour 18%
Link?
Are you trying to influence betting markets?
> OK maybe you are, but you still look like one to me.
> Cheers, Gillian Duffy (Mrs).
Gordon uses his finger but I can do it with my tongue
Text: “I need a man with a tongue like a lizard and can breath through his ears. Yours Harriet xxxx”
TB heavy breathing…
TB: “Ok, check tongue…. ” …. oh boll*cks….
This screen is not big enough to see Sally’s complete flange.
Tory Modernisation Programme continues: #94: Opposable Thumbs.
Hmmm… not a bad dandruff harvest… should keep me going.
What has happened to the Bad Al Video, has he bullied Guido to remove it???
Give me a pony, mummy, or I will hold my breath! I will! I will! I Will!
Brown calls Mrs. Duffy a “baguette”, pass it on. ……..wait a minute!
Who is it, anyway?
Fucking hell that Ed Ball’s pushed all my buttons
with this Busters world website !
If you think this lap top decoration is childish
you should see my school books !
ComparethePissflaps.com
MUUUUUM !
Evening Frankie! We have had some TaTs today on this morning’s page but they don’t work after lunch, despite putting in overtime claims to Victoria Street.
Harry Botter?
“Guido, I have embarrassing photos of you so don’t
you dare photo caption me.”
This Photo has definitley Not been “HairBrushed “!
The hair to scare
Fuck me. Ties like that are back in fashion? Better go and rescue them from the bondage drawer.
The lovechild of Orson Welles puts the finishing touchs to his greatest tweet yet…
Gordons ‘special’ advisor.
Weak, Guido. On the final Friday before the GE, I expected to be ripping into a pic of pasty, unshaven McDoom as he mumbled through the debate, not one of your pasty fat media pals. But it’s your website.
&
%
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*
*
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SPOTTID DYQK
*
ASTA
“window licker ” ?
That’s a bit harsh.
Who is this bastard? Why isn’t he under lock and key?
Yeah, who is he? I don’t get it …
Damn predictive text! Every time I try to type Nick, I get Gordon!
Only another few millimetres and I’ll get that bogie out
TB endorses the exclusive New Labour saloon “Hair by Hopeless”.
Pleeeezze someone tell me – WHO IS HE!!!
Obviously one of Broon’s mongos but I can’t join in the fun till I have a proper name ….
I love this bit where she takes her knickers off
You don’t know me but I have been following you now for 8 weeks and opening your email and I think I am in love.
Please Gordon tell me you’ll be mine!
Any time he was down he watched it, again and again. Tim loved the subtle way Maggie’s breasts quivered as she announced “The Lady’s Not for Turning” ……. but still he could dream!