April 19th, 2010

Goodbye Darling

Word reaches Guido that the Darlings have emptied their Number 11 flat. All their bookshelves have been boxed up and are ready to go. They are clearly not planning on coming back to Downing Street again.

You can bet on who will replace him as Chancellor here.


98 Comments

  1. 1
    jgm2 says:

    He’s been the Invisible Man of this campaign. Him and Jack Fucking Straw.

    • 4
      no longer anonymous says:

      What did Mr Straw do to you?!

      • 10
        jgm2 says:

        Never forgave the cu*nt for imposing photo driver’s licences. I said at the time it was just a softener-upper for ID cards.

        • 49
          Disaffected says:

          Straw, Blunkett and Blair, according to Blair’s former speech writer Andy Neather, wanted mass immigration to change the face of Britain. Who gave them that mandate? Secondly, his input for the Iraq war leaves a lot to be desired, if one accepts he was a consciencious objector in his younger days like his dad. Finally, using his power to veto the promotion of a judge for criticisng Liebour policy says a lot about his and his party’s surpressive tactics to silence people who speak out against the government. So I agree fcuk Straw.

          • Road_Hog says:

            Those odds are farked. Jacqui Smith 2nd favourite at 2-1? I know the bookies have to make a margin, but that is some over round at 172.

        • 50
          Nick2 says:

          Not to mention a revenue stream, now every driver has to update their photo every 10 yrs (or more frequently).

      • 13
        jgm2 says:

        Never forgave the cu*nt for imposing photo dr*ver’s licences. I said at the time it was just a softener-upper for ID cards.

        • 86
          Mad as hell and won't have to take it for too much longer says:

          Not me, I still have my old paper license.

      • 15
        Engineer says:

        For starters, made a lot of mealy-mouthed and probably untrue statements about Labour’s immigration policy.

      • 18
        RantinRab says:

        Bye Bye Darling! Don’t let the door hit your arse on the way out, you Badger faced twat.

        Meanwhile, http://tinyurl.com/y6uoldw

        • 73
          Is it just me, or... says:

          You might like to note that “its” doesn’t have an apostrophe.

          Ta.

    • 16
      Labour is dying says:

      The Darling Dud of May 6th

    • 19
      Turned Out Nice Again says:

      All done with printing money to buy our own debt in order to maintain the current number of deck chairs on the Titanic

    • 60
      Farmer Joe says:

      Badger cull has been given the go-ahead to stop the spread of TB (Tony Blairites).

      • 90
        udderly 'orrible says:

        Come to think of it there is some resemblance between Darling and a badger.

  2. 2
    Doddy says:

    tatty Bye

  3. 3
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Has he redesignated his principal residence again?

    Perhaps he should be asked?

    • 24
      Engineer says:

      He has a portfolio of principal residences, one for the Commons Fees Office, one for HMRC, one for his constituency, one for his ministerial needs, and several left over for living in.

  4. 4
    obangobang says:

    Is he first behind bars? Let’s hope he’s not the last.

  5. 6
    The Ape Man Commeth says:

    Over the years my feelings have mellowed ever so slightly with eyebrows, while my dislike of his replacement have increased dramaticaly.

    If the BBC were impartial, this election would be a tory landslide.

  6. 7
    Just shoot the lot of em says:

    vote clegg get brown , i dont like the tories but i fuckin hate brown , so the tories will have my vote this time ( i do have grave concerns )

    • 30
      • 42
        Engineer says:

        I concur x 2.

        The Tories in their current incarnation are rather limp. We know what the problems are with the economy, immigration and the EU. Don’t mess about, just sort them out. Then you can do all the touchy-feely stuff.

        • 47
          Just shoot the lot of em says:

          only problem is , i know i am going to be let down by the tories , but the thought of brown for 5 more years , its a thought i cannot cope with

          • John C says:

            Too right.

            After 1992 we had another five years of Major and we wall all nearly suicidal by the time of the ’97 election.

            I can’t live through that again.

          • Engineer says:

            Major was a political and economic genius compared with what we’ve been enduring for the last 13 years.

          • Anonymous says:

            You are right Just shoot. It’s essential we get rid of McBroon & LieBour.

    • 53
      Groundhog says:

      Thank Christ Dave’s got four supporters left.

    • 75
      Thames Valley voter says:

      It doesn’t matter who I vote for, or if I vote at all. Nothing would ever cause my constituency to elect anything but a Tory MP. Nevertheless I shall be voting Tory, just to increase the anti-Brown vote by an infinitesimal amount.

  7. 8
    Engineer says:

    What would be more impressive would be word reaching Guido that Darling was instructing Treasury officials to prepare proposals for severe spending cuts with a view to balancing the nations books in 12 months, and making up the nation’s books to show the incoming government the true state of the nation’s finances.

    Somehow, I suspect that the opposite is happening.

  8. 9
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Move over Darling.

  9. 11
    Nick Clegg says:

    I feel like Tigger on crack!

  10. 12
    DNTT says:

    Bye-bye Badger Badger!

    He always had his arm twisted up behind his back by Brown and Balls.

    Don’t forget to repay for your home flipping on the way out Darling.

  11. 14
    Doctor Mick says:

    There’s no fun being Chancellor anymore now that there’s no gold left to play with.

  12. 17
    Grumbler says:

    Security -Please check the boxes _ I dont trust any MP’s…..whoops was that a gold bar that fell out of the box!……….nope! its a broken nokia!

    Better to have vote on which quango or bank directorship he has been offered..my guess is Golden-Hacks.

  13. 20
    Sam says:

    So he’s going back to being a children’s party clown – making penises out of balloons and farting in their faces.

    Fucking c’unt.

  14. 21
    Jac says:

    A collective sigh of relief – now all we need is Nick ‘Saint’ Clegg to follow in the ex-chancellors footsteps and hope that people will soon wake up to this Euro loving lot of ‘PC’ forgive the terrorists nut cases.

  15. 22
    God says:

    Hopefully Darling will be replaced by Osborne, but the Tories will need to get their campaign into gear and start levelling with the public over how the public sector needs to be reduced in size, or it may well be Balls who walks, grinning, into No 11, to complete Labour’s task of reducing Britain to a wasteland, where everyone “works” for the government!

    • 41
      Brown's a Tosser says:

      Balls into No.11 won’t happen. In a coalition that is one office that will go to Cable given all the media hype and Clegg support for him. The interesting one is what can Brown offer Clegg to keep him happy. Deputy PM perhaps? And what do the electorate get FIVE MORE YEARS OF BROWN. Whooppeeee.

      • 70
        floating in Hornsey says:

        I have voted Lib Dem for the past 6 elections but the prospect of them enabling Brown to continue is making me think of voting Tory. My Lib Dem MP will get in anyway so my vote may as well be used as a marker in the popular vote

        • 83
          Anonymous says:

          Put the word about, every little helps.

          • God says:

            Cable is so financially deranged that he would be positively dangerous as chancellor – worse even than Brown was, if that is possible!! The idea of a Lab/Lib coalition of some sort is the worst nightmare of anyone who really cares about the UK. Hopefully, the electorate will realise the folly of supporting Clegg and his daft little bunch and voite for the only party which can see Gordon Brown out of Downing Street – the Conservatives – they’re not perfect, but they sure as Hell are preferable to five more years in the Brown stuff!

  16. 23
    Irene says:

    IF by some whatever, it is a hung parliament with Labour and Libdems surely St Vince would be made chancellor, wouldn’t that be part of the deal?

  17. 25
    Arch Stanton says:

    Wonder which House he will now designate as his second home ?
    Perhaps Guido can find out as he sure as hell will do so.

    Useless Chancellor just a mealy mouthed mouthpiece for the Gorgon, I wonder if he has any pride left ?

    The next few Days will tell

  18. 27
    Postal Vote says:

    It’s probably Whelan’s call, but Darling is reportedly very relieved he won’t be the one welcoming the IMF.

    • 35
      Engineer says:

      Darling, in fairness to him, inherited an almighty mess, courtesy of the real criminals, Broon and the Testicular one. However, Darling’s efforts at containing the economic conflagration had about as much effect as a little boy pissing in a blast furnace. He can’t really be regarded as a hero.

      • 55
        Nick2 says:

        His main saving grace IMO was that he wasn’t as maddeningly arrogant on camera as Brown used to be when Chancellor.

      • 91
        Allan@Aberdeen says:

        Come off it – Darling is a posh Trot and is absolutely delighted to have played a part, albeit a minor one, in the trashing of the UK’s economy. He wrecked Edinburgh’s finances when he ‘worked’ there and now he’s had a part in ruining the UK. High-fives among the posh Trots! Yippee, because we don’t get affected by the chaos that we inflict on the proles.

        • 98
          Newt says:

          Thank God, at last, someone who remembers Darling’s first fuck-up! Why don’t the press ever cover the near bankruptcy of Edinburgh City Council under Darling?

  19. 28
    Labour is dying says:

    Like a badger leaving the sinking ship.

  20. 31
    Postal Vote says:

    In other news, it has been reported that the libdems will settle for alternative vote for commons elections – bye bye conservatives, bye bye Great Britain; welcome little Britain.

    PS Cameron should nail libdems on their true intentions for electoral reform. If Clegg won’t rule out AV for the commons, Cameron can justifiably claim that a vote for libdems is a vote for many more years of Brown. With alternative vote, policy making will be hijacked by public sector unions and benefits recipients.

  21. 33
    lolol says:

    Hell does that mean Cable is the next sucker/chancellor does that mean that tax will go up a penny or two pence each week and will we have Vat on us paying tax.

  22. 34
    Jung says:

    Good riddance. Do not slam the door on your way out!

  23. 39

    Let’s all hope his neighbour will be moving out with him on the 7th

  24. 43
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    LOL. Jacqui Smith is at 50/50 to be next chancellor.

    • 59
      Nick2 says:

      Saw her on DP. Smith criticised Sarah Teather for saying that the Child Trust Fund was inefficient, and then went on to commend the CTF for the same reasons that Teather had (mildly) criticised it.

      Jacqui won’t be missed.

  25. 44
    Adler says:

    Too be fair he was the least hated of the Labour cult. Then he brought out that pile of nonsense of a budget Fucking liar.

  26. 45
    Lizzie says:

    The “road to recovery” is under construction, Labour have made so many “financial black pot holes” in it the repair crew have given up and gone home.
    Has Brown started packing yet?

  27. 46
    Canary Wharf Rat says:

    Meanwhile Brown is nailing everything down and getting ready for the siege!

  28. 51
    A Future Fucked For All says:

    I want the Cyclops to be around when the IMF come and lower the school leaving age to 12 and raise the retirement age to 103.

  29. 54
    Sir Everard Digby says:

    McDoom will fight them on the steps of number 10,from the jacuzzi at Chequers and behind his wee potting shed in Fife.

    ‘This does not involve running away to Scotland, simply some minor repositioning to eliminate any hint of a southerly bias’ his spokesperson said.

  30. 56
    I hate New Labour says:

    I’m sure he’ll find *another* second home to flip now.

    Greedy, useless f*cker.

  31. 61
    John Bull says:

    Fucking hell Guido, you’re flogging this betting lark to death aren’t you? You whore.

  32. 63
    The Admiral says:

    O/T BUT…
    My M&D in their 90′s have had 4 (yes FOUR) postal votes.
    Silly thing is they always walk and vote. Someone must have done a sweep and thought it worthwhile driving coach and four through privacy laws…

  33. 64
    Human Rights Watch says:

    Fuck off Darling, Brown and Campbell. Jog on w*nkstains!

  34. 65
    Human Rights Watch says:

    Oi! Thieving parasite, settle the account before you go.

  35. 66
    AAron Porter NUS says:

    Who will give us our beer money now?

  36. 68
    QWERTY says:

    Anyone who thinks the one eyed homosexual fucking jock mong will take any notice of the Limp Dems is living in a fantasy world.

    For starters the next Chancellor will be Balls, even if he loses his seat the gay fucking mong will simply make him a fucking Peer. Notice how we are run by bummer Mandelson, Lord fucking Adonis (another fag) and Lord West not to mention Lord fucking Kinnock and Lord fucking Sugar.

    Having Lord Balls-up as Chancellor will be just another unelected fucking mong. The Limp Dems won’t bring down the mong as they can’t afford to fight another election this year.

    The gay mong will hang on in power in the hope of getting a few more million fucking halfwits and public sector jobs (they will keep printing money Zimbabwe style) to give them an overall mandate.

    Notice how the gay mong’s polling numbers keep falling but Liebour still keep ending up as the biggest party? How the fuck did the Tories and Limp Dems allow that one to pass?

  37. 71
    Dobbings says:

    If or when the Tories get in the blame game in the HoC & the media is gonna be fun No doubt they’ll try but liebour won’t be able to blame the Tories OR the Yanks for the state of the country

  38. 74
    AAron Porter NUS says:

    I will miss him. Which one of you Tory tramps will buy me a pint?

  39. 77
    Miriams No 2 fan says:

    Must be true as James Macintyre thinks he is Labours secret weapon…

    http://www.newstatesman.com/blogs/public-accounts/2010/04/osborne-plans-darling-attack

  40. 79
    Anonymous says:

    Just a rumour, with no source accredited = worthless “journalism”

  41. 82
    Postlethwaite says:

    I remember Beardless Alistair Darling. Had to shave it off as beards make women voters think those men are untrustworthy.

    Imagine that?

    Postle

    Oh and I also remember him as a tin-pot anti-car councillor so in truth he has hardly moved on – but then he was bearded (of course) . . .

  42. 87
    Anonymous says:

    Never did like Darling from the moment he said that disabled people should work for a £1 a week because at least then they are working. My question to you Darling is would you. I will answer that for you – no you wouldn’t. You are not any one’s darling.

  43. 92

    [...] Finally, Guido Fawkes, ever one for a strategic quip, points out that Alistair Darling has packed up everything at Number 11 Downing Street, as if he knew he was moving on after May 6th. [...]

  44. 40
    Anonymous says:

    You’re fucking barmy.

  45. 48
    Thats News says:

    Darling is leaving No 10? Is this his way of showing two fingers to Brown?

  46. 72
    Anonymous says:

    Ayee, as barmy as a member of Gordon’s red and white army.

  47. 93
    50 Calibre says:

    He’s probably the only realist in the whole rotten fucking bunch.

    He had enough of McTwat and he knows he will be getting the push whatever happens on 6th May. Not long now!

    Simples…


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A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”



Nick Clegg says:

Do you want lies with that?


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