March 31st, 2010

Punters Slash Odds, Ed Balls Now Expected to Lose

Right now on Betfair the odds on the Morley and Outwood seat being fought over by Ed Balls (2/5) and Antony Calvert (2/7) slighly favouring the Tory challenger.  Guido understands that Balls is cynically trying to shore up his vote in working class areas of the constituency by taking a knuckle draggingly tough line on immigration in leaflets going through letter boxes.

Antony Calvert has raised thousands online from grassroots Conservatives hoping to defeat the UNITE union backed and widely disliked protege of Gordon Brown.  Many of those hoping for Balls to provide a “Portillo moment” on election night are Labour MPs…

UPDATE : According to, Calvert has raised over £6,000 online in the last 7 days with the average donation just over £30.  The odds have moved even further in against Balls today, he is now 6/4 versus Calvert at 1/2.  Guido did manage to get a few quid on early…


  1. 1
    Kronos says:

    any examples of his leaflets we can have a laugh at?

  2. 2
    Hoon MacHoon Chief Hoon of Clan MacHoon principal Hoons of hereaboots and a liitle beyond! says:

    What a F*****g Hoon

  3. 3
    BillyBob - Stop immigration, reduce crime !! says:

    Will be worth stopping up for………I hope he is emotional !!

  4. 4
    Engineer says:

    Castrate the Brownites. Remove the Balls.

  5. 5
    jgm2 says:

    If reports are to be believed then even a ‘Portillo-ed’ Balls would still be able to serve in an interim hung parliament.

    And the leering fuck would love rubbing our noses in it.

  6. 6

    excellent news!!!!!!!!

    Other things……… Old Holborn’s election campaign is well worth a fiver to upset the apple cart…..

  7. 7
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    Please God, let the fat sweaty fucker lose by a country mile.

  8. 8


    How much has Calvert actually raised then?

    On his website it just looks like £1,254….. clearly it is more than than that….

  9. 9
    Dobby says:

    Well I couldn’t give a sh*t, but Balls is a target looking for a missile.

  10. 10
    Ed Ballsack says:

    You cant get me i’m part of the union.

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    Conservativehome dropping little crumbs re Labour party stalwarts and their links to kiddy fiddling – no mention of Operation Ore yet .

  12. 12
    Poor Bloody Taxpayer says:

    Huzzah! The champagne is already on ice……………

  13. 13
    Ralph Furious says:

    I can’t imagine anything would make me happier on Election night than to see Balls chucked on the scrap heap (….well except perhaps a BJ from Joanna Lumley)

  14. 14
    AndyinBrum says:

    I’m sure the Postal Votes will save Mr Balls, it’s not as if Labour have previous in the matter

  15. 15
    The Dirty Rat says:

    In my Pack of cards he is the Ace Of Clubs. I want to see the f*cker unemployed.

  16. 16
    Mitch says:

    Surely not? A hung parliament still only has one member per seat?

  17. 17
    Anonymous says:

    Are you a Gurka?

  18. 18
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Agreed. He is the man that even a pacifist would like to exterminate.

  19. 19
    The IMF is coming says:

    Or 2 votes

  20. 20
    Archer Karcher says:

    So the international socialists are adopting the rhetoric and policies of their “hated enemies” the national socialists for political expediency. What utterly cynical manipulation, these people are vermin, without a single principle in their bodies. Power at all costs, power by any means necessary.

  21. 21
    Villagers says:

    We are missing an idiot

  22. 22
    difficult, not impossible says:

    swing required would be almost 11%

  23. 23
    Dobby says:

    This is strictly Jack Straw cover up territory.

  24. 24
    The IMF is coming says:

    And Brown?

  25. 25
    Joanna Lumley says:

    Absolutely Fabulous.

  26. 26
    HMRC says:

    How can you possibly afford champers.

  27. 27
    UK Border Agency - A fine example of the asylum lunatics running the asylum says:

    Nothing wrong with a ‘ Knuckle draggingly tough line on immigration ‘ except of course Balls will be lying!

  28. 28
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Ace of Spades of course. I would like to see him dead.

  29. 29
    Gordon Brown says:

    My balls would be unemployed if it wasn’t for Mandy..

  30. 30
    DelBoy says:

    What could Balls possibly do in enforced retirement?
    A hot Housed Brownite shite, a career politician (spit) and total tosser.

  31. 31
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    If you believe the above odds, get yourself over to paddy power.

    they still rekon 7/4 conservative.

  32. 32
    Archer Karcher says:

    Scum like Balls will not stay unemployed for long. He will waltz straight into a non job in the EU or more likely a lucrative job in Quangoshire. The contacts have already been made and the deal sweetened with government money. You wait and see.

  33. 33
    John Major says:

    Oh yes. That would make many people not inconsiderably pleased.

  34. 34
    HoonHoon Hoon Hoon HoonHoon Hoon HoonHoonHoon Hoon HoonHoonHoon Hoon HoonHoonHoon Hoon HoonHoonHoon says:

    well that’s almost thousands

  35. 35
    DelBoy says:

    Brown could be Bliars bagman. could you see them cosying up on the red eye from Gatwick to JFK.

  36. 36
    UA.F Unite Are Fa.scists says:

    Sad to read in todays Mail of the demise of Guido’s old boss David Hart.

    We need a man like that to take on the Marxist Trots of Unite and RMT

  37. 37
    Roger Daley says:

    I would prefer to see Brown exiled in shame to a far flung Jockish island to be a hemit for the rest of his days.

  38. 38
    Al Megrahi,s Doctor says:

    Thanks….Your comment just made me LOL. You eeenglieeesh really know how to speak. A thousand blessings on your camels.

  39. 39
    Mitch says:

    BlackJack is too canny to get involved in something that serious.

  40. 40
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    He paid for it with projected future growth.

  41. 41
    Martin Day says:

    I’m over here!

  42. 42
    barefootcontessa says:

    Oh, that would so sweet!

  43. 43
    Reichschancellor ( in-waiting, and waiting and waiting ) Balls says:

    Arschloch !!!

    If I am ousted, Gordon will just ennoble me and I will be sitting next to Mandy !!

    Lord Balls of Bullyingthem !!

  44. 44
    Penfold says:

    Are dreams made of this?

    Let’s hope the bookies are right on the nose.

  45. 45
    Brown Hater says:

    He’d simply revert to being a SPAD for Brown.


  46. 46
    barefootcontessa says:

    Couldn’t have put it better myself.

  47. 47
    Carlos The Jackal says:

    We’ll see, we’ll see.

  48. 48
    Engineer says:

    He can take Balls as his sidekick.

  49. 49
    Mr Ned says:

    I do believe that they are actually B and P leaflets with the letters “B and N and P” scribbled over and the word labour written in in crayon!

  50. 50
    Brown Hater says:

    At least you’ll still have the uniform!

  51. 51
    nell says:

    Poor old edballs is between a rock and a hard place isn’t he?

    On the one hand he’s trying to win over the vote in his constituency by taking a hardline on immigration and on the other there’s gordon trying to convince us all that immigration isn’t out of control and in fact it’s falling. As always gordon’s statistics are either made-up or distorted.

  52. 52

    Quite so, but the *government* won’t be required to have won their seats, or indeed, any seats. The “continuity” plans over-ride piddling little things like elections to ensure that the people running the country remain the same.

    It’s the right thing to do.

  53. 53
    John Majors face full of Curry says:

    not as good a laugh as you provided us with John but a laugh all the same

  54. 54
    Al Megrahi,s Doctor says:

    Yeah sweedie!

  55. 55
    The Dirty Rat says:


    On this day a Tory landslide.

  56. 56
    Al Megrahi,s Doctor says:


  57. 57
    Yet ANOTHER Excuse To Use The Word Tossflap!!!! says:

    Not just a Hoon, but an utterly repugnant tossflap.

    Here’s hoping the tossflap gets kicked out.

    Fucking tossflap.

  58. 58
    Call me Infidel says:

    If Balls loses the YouTube replay count of his “Portillo moment” will be in the millions. I can’t wait!

  59. 59
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Bye Bye Balls – Just donated another £250 quid

  60. 60

    Oh fuck!

    I’ve just thought of something – in this “continuity” government McScum is planning, will the faux PM of the day be able to appoint peers? You can appoint a lot of vermin to the ermine in 18 days….

  61. 61
    barefootcontessa says:

    Why are Newlabour such bullies, and so bad mannered? Prescott last night butting in and shouting, Ed Balls talking over anybody in sight, Mandeslime positioning himself at the front and trying to block out anybody near him. Even Darling has started hectoring and throwing himself about. Is it because they were raised in the gutter? or were they just not brought up ‘right’?

  62. 62
    The IMF is coming says:

    Unfortunately, Whelan, Unite, The forces of Hull and a few thousand postal voters will try their best to beat the ‘nasty Tory’ and no doubt try to smear and bully him.

  63. 63
    Hang The Bastards says:

    With Balls gone from the government Cooper-Balls wont have to worry about getting caught sucking off journalists !

  64. 64
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Carpe Diem. Lets see the f*cker on YouTube swinging on a rope like NL. did with Sadam.

  65. 65
    Engineer says:

    Slimy Perverted Antagonistic Drone.

  66. 66
    Lord Manglebum says:

    And he has a lovely smile.

  67. 67
    ST says:

    Come on give us a clue.

  68. 68
    barefootcontessa says:

    In any case Nell, the dye is cast. They’re all over here already, thanks to the distorted, warped, and deliberate planning of Newlabour.

  69. 69
    The Sleeper says:

    Hi Liam…

    Next time you see that lying bag of fermented camel shit,Ed..could you please tell him he will be the fuckin’ jam on the toast of Labour,when it’s served up early on May 7th.

    Thank you.

    Yours sincerely.

  70. 70
    Maladroit Labour Chump says:

    EVERYBODY hates Bullyboy Balls…..

  71. 71
    Fred says:

    Lets get the scriptwriters of ‘Coronation Street’ to free Gail Platt/macintyre and get her to take in Gordon Brown as lodger!

  72. 72
    barefootcontessa says:

    You can say one thing for him, he’s a first class bully!

  73. 73
    Self-Employed says:

    No wonder McMental wants a consensus on Immigration, he’s looking after his ballbag-carrier or a scrotum-carrier is it!

  74. 74
    The Dirty Rat says:

    If balls looses his seat perhaps he could donate his pumped up eyes to the Hadron Collider project. I would love to see them explode.

  75. 75
    Harriet Harman says:

    How do you do that non-denial denial trick again?

  76. 76
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    I like your style, Tossflap.

  77. 77
    Engineer says:

    I blame the parents.

  78. 78
    Dopey Dawn expense fiddler, failed-conartist, and smearer says:

    “Dopey Dawn” Butler, the thickest MP in parliament apart from David Lammy, has been caught trying to smear her opponent Sarah Teather. You’d think Dopey Dawn would have learned from being caught out conning Obama into signing that letter, wouldn’t you?

  79. 79
    Hoon MacHoon Chief Hoon of Clan MacHoon principal Hoons of hereaboots and a liitle beyond! says:


    The fact that Dave is a distant relative of the Queen will be a massive disadvantage to them if there is a hung Parliament. The Monarchy being hellbent on self preservation will do anything to avoid being partisan towards Dave. in short they will overcompensate by allowing brown anything he asks for. The alternative is Labour will turn on the Monarchy and accuse it for standing up for its blood kin. i appreciate he is a fifth cousin twice removed, but it is a degree of relationship which is documented and in the public domain.

    The only way to forestall this problem is for all parties to immediately demand that the Cabinet Office, The Palace and NO10 immediately publish the guidelines they will be operating under!

  80. 80
    Mrs B says:

    Couldn’t have put it better myself, Charles!

  81. 81
    another villager says says:

    Fuck off, you can keep the lying Labour scumbag.

  82. 82
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    The sort you could never get tired of punching.

  83. 83
    Mitch says:

    Probably not. Apparently no major decisions can be made during this time. It’s purely about obtaining a majority. Brown can drag it out, but it won’t be long before some establishment smoothy has a quiet word.

  84. 84
    Engineer says:

    You are so right. It is unbelievable. Mostly because it’s a load of bollocks.

  85. 85
    Hangman Smig says:

    My noose doesn’t care about you, nor your repugnant Union.

  86. 86
    lol says:

    Was it Andrew Roberts off the Telegraph?

  87. 87
    The Dirty Rat says:

    That is how socialists win their arguments. It is in their genes.

  88. 88
  89. 89
    streamfisher says:

    Its no accident I think that Ermine is the fur of a Stoat, also known as the Short-Tailed Weasel.

  90. 90
    Delboy says:

    Err, no actually. I foresee a longtime in clink for the Strawman, when he is eventually caught by a proper copper.

  91. 91
    Mrs B says:

    I see the BBC is still going on about the Poll Tax riots on its front news page.

    Do you think they evil soialist scum are trying to peddle a subliminal message there?

  92. 92
    Hoon MacHoon Chief Hoon of Clan MacHoon principal Hoons of hereaboots and a liitle beyond! says:

    How is your patient doing Doctor. Any news on the Libyan cancer cure and when it will be available in the shops!!

  93. 93
    Mrs B says:

    socialist socialist socialist ffs

  94. 94
    Mr Ned says:

    OK according to the newspapers:

    According to (conveniently) newly “discovered” laws, Minister’s of state could remain ministers of state in a coalition Government IF a hung Parliament fails to create a new Government.

    So, IF the tories win most seats in a hung Parliament, but do not give in to all the SNP’s Lib-Dem’s, Plied Cumry’s socialist and corporatist demands, then they will all refuse to form a Government with Cameron. If this situation is not remedied in a few weeks, then Brown’s old cabinet stays in power (even if The Ministers in it have lost their seats in the election) for the good of the nation and the economy and to support the value of the pound.

    This, of course, ignores the fact that Brown’s government has seen the pound devalued by 30% already.

    The laws also are there to prevent the Queen from shutting Parliament and calling a fresh election.

    This also allows for the civil-contingencies act to be enacted as an extra measure if Gordon Brown believes it to be required too.

    This is NOT a charter for the stabilisation of Government. It is a fascist dictator’s charter. This is leading us down into a totalitarian dictatorship akin to a banana republic.

    Anyone for Civil War???

  95. 95
    Erich Honecker's ghost says:

    The Guardian says that Gordon Brown doesn’t have to resign as prime minister even if he loses the next election.

    So that’s that sorted then.

  96. 96
    barefootcontessa says:

    Oh Yea? Vote Tory. We don’t want a hung parliament, although a hung Gordon et al wouldn’t be so bad.

  97. 97
    Engineer says:

    The quality of trolling has dropped right off. They clearly can’t get the staff in the bunker these days.

  98. 98
    another villager says says:

    What are the odds of one day seeing Gordon Brown being tried for the ethnic cleansing of his own people ?

    I think they just got a lot shorter.

  99. 99
    Disco Biscuit says:

    Is there any truth to the rumour that Labour MPs are amongst those who have donated to Antony Calvert’s campaign fund?

  100. 100
    ST says:

    Are you serious?!? Jack Straw? What makes you think that?

  101. 101
    anonymous says:

    in what way is this justice?

    does this mean we can punch our local MP and get away with it?

  102. 102
    Maladroit Labour Chump says:

    To help mend B£iar and Brown’s Broken Britain

  103. 103


  104. 104
    Mitch says:

    The Queen will behave perfectly, as always. She will not be involved in any controversy. Cameron is the leader of one of the major parties. He will get his chance if he deserves it, relative or not.

  105. 105
    The Population says:

    Don’t be so sure about that, pal…..

  106. 106
    Hoon MacHoon Chief Hoon of Clan MacHoon principal Hoons of hereaboots and a liitle beyond! says:

    They will test to destruction the expression”major decision” Shall we nuke Russia? probably not. Create 200 Gobshite Labour peers, just a small bit of admin!!

  107. 107
    Bagehot says:

    This country doesn’t work that way. It will be sorted out behind the scenes, one way or another.

  108. 108
    bees fan says:

    I’ve met Dawn Butler. She really is as thick as shit but she’s completely self-obsessed and thinks she’s fucking wonderful. Fact is, she’s only there because she’s the right colour.

  109. 109
    anonymous says:

    “Smellie said he mistook a carton of orange juice and a camera in Ms Fisher’s hands as weapons when she approached from his “blind-side”.”

  110. 110
    Snoring gently says:

    I wonder what is worse; smearing an opponent or calling someone limp wristed?
    Sounds like case for Harry Hill……..FIGHT.

  111. 111
    Delboy says:

    Well, the job in Westminster isn’t quite finished yet, until the last whining little git is kicked out, and then we have the lords… can’t bloody wait!
    I had however hoped that the gravy train route to Brussels had dried out and that there will be no repeat of a nice little earner. I can’t see any properly elected (!) politician sponsering the likes of Balls & Co. into a job for life.

  112. 112
    Ed Ballsack says:

    Come on give us a clue.Andrew Marr ?

  113. 113
    Vince Cable is a fucking joke says:

    If Gus O’Donnell says Brown can keep his job even if the Tories win most seats, then that’s it, five more years of Brown it is.

  114. 114
    Hoon MacHoon Chief Hoon of Clan MacHoon principal Hoons of hereaboots and a liitle beyond! says:

    I seem to remember the Poll Tax-community charge was incredibly popular among those who didn’t riot. but nobody listened to them. Most of the non payers were Labour voters who as usual wanted something for nothing! If the Conservatives had had any guts they would have toughed it out instead they sacked their leader. Country has been crap ever since!!

  115. 115
    Ordinary Bloke says:

    The aptly named Chris Huhne is just as bad. What a rude cu*t!

  116. 116
    The Blue Rinse Brigade says:

    The one thing that will get the Tories out in droves is the thought of Brown leading a hung parliament having lost the popular vote. I’m sure the military might be watching carefully too, they are Tory you know. I think it will be the naughty step for Gay Gordon and his band of rear end socially engineered misfits.

  117. 117
    Alex says:

    God no – a country mile, I want there to be no mistake in his mind that a huge majority of his constituents hate his guts.

  118. 118
    Tee Shirt says:

    Guns Get Shit Done

  119. 119
    Poor Bloody Taxpayer says:

    I have donated to Calvert’s campaign. It will be worth every penny to see Balls unseated. At least, Portillo went with grace. Little Ed will stamp his feet and skweem and skweem. And cry, hopefully.

  120. 120
    Balkanised Burnley says:

    Gordon Brown, Tony Blair, and the architects of the plan to flood the country with millions of Africans and Asians: Barbara Roche, Jack Straw, and Margaret Hodge.

  121. 121
    Granny smith says:

    Have i missed something?.

  122. 122
    righty right wing (mrs) says:

    Just thinking about Ed Balls losing his seat makes me so excited that a little bit of wee comes out.

  123. 123
    smellie by name says:

    I’m surprised she didn’t get arrested for ‘racism’.

  124. 124
    streamfisher says:

    Don’t invite them round for dinner again.

  125. 125
    Down With Brown! says:

    Down with Brown will buy a drink for anyone from Morley and Outwood if they vote out Balls.

  126. 126
    Alex says:

    Not a chance – he’ll ooze his way into something well paid within days of the election.

  127. 127
  128. 128
    Down With Brown! says:

    Balls is a Hunt!

  129. 129
    Man on a clapham omnibus says:

    If brown loses he has the choice of leaving by his own free will or being removed from no10 with extreme prejudice.

  130. 130
    Old Skool Nokia says:

    Didn’t Norman Tebbit ask questions in the HofL recently about why the Dunblane report is subject to a 90 year non-disclosure period?

  131. 131
    George Robertson says:

    It’s all about individual freedom and the right to express oneself.

  132. 132
    The IMF is coming says:

    Balls v Allen. Peter Allen wins.

  133. 133
    Grock says:

    i wuz edukatd here so i dont no wot u min

  134. 134
    five more years of Brown, Bals, Huhne, and Cable says:

    Radio 5 reported on a ‘secret deal’ being struck between the Lib Dems and Labour to form a coalition in the event of a hung parliament, even if the Conservatives win the most seats.

    Current polls indicate that is the most likely outcome.

  135. 135
    Gordon McMandelson says:

    What’s wrong with limp wristed boys?

  136. 136
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    not if you’re british.

  137. 137
    Granny smith says:

    Wicked humour 74.

  138. 138
    Bagehot says:

    Er, not quite.

    As the incumbent PM Brown has first dob in a hung parliament. But he won’t get long, and if he can’t do it he’ll be out.

  139. 139
    Hoon MacHoon Chief Hoon of Clan MacHoon principal Hoons of hereaboots and a liitle beyond! says:

    Bagehot, unfortunately you are living in a different country to the one I inhabit. The old mores and standards have been thrown against the wall along with the Nokia. The senior Civil service is no longer impartial and will not insist on fairplay. Daves kinship to the Queen will count against him. The whole situation is a nightmare!

  140. 140
    Down With Brown! says:

    Balls went on TV under the influence of coke on Marr on Sunday.

  141. 141
    Oh and by the way says:

    Quite right too. The Police were defending liberty from violent extremists.

    However I question why this corrupt government put them in the position to defend their incompetent handling of the economy in the first place.

  142. 142
    Dobbie says:

    Justice? When has that had anything to do with the courts?

    It is them and us old fruit. Politicians, Judges & Co. vs The Rest.

  143. 143
  144. 144
    Heathcliffe says:

    I’ve heard these rumours about Yvette Cooper and a journalist.
    Is there ‘owt in it?

  145. 145
    The Sleeper says:

    UK Stats Authority has slapped Browns wrists over misuse of Migration stats….

    And another one (Nokia) bites the dust….

  146. 146
    Man on a clapham omnibus says:

    Smelly was tried infront of a judge without a jury.WTF

    Something stinks and its not just smelly.

  147. 147
    Freddie Flintoff says:

    eh up lads , balls is a hoon of the highest order and needs a shotgun up the arse .

    ps dont forget to watch me on sky one tomorrow night

  148. 148
    Geordie Scoot says:

    Lord Fondlebum, Lord Apenis, Baroness Scotland come to mind, and not a seat between them. Arise Lord Balls, Lord Chancellor of the Exchequer.

  149. 149

    This country doesn’t work that way

    Ever opened a history book? Yes, it does work that way. We’ve been in a brief coupla hundred years of stability, more or less. But this is a volatile place. We fight vicious bloody wars over issue of principle, succession, detailed treaty. We’re not pissy pushovers, we’re not dull drones, we’re not sodding SHEEP.

    This is the England of Cromwell, Kipling, Churchill and Orwell, not Blinky fucking Balls and Dale Winton. Brown is seriously misjudging this country – Dave too. All those bastards are pushing their luck.

  150. 150
    Man on a clapham omnibus says:

    Just like his ladyboy wife he is going down.

  151. 151
    Bingley white flight says:

    If we British have been ethnically cleansed from many of our towns and cities then so can the immigrants.

    Stop immigration, start repatriation!

  152. 152
    Red Bacon says:

    I understand she’s partial to a small ghurkin

  153. 153
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    how come people believe what radio5 says all of a sudden

  154. 154
    oops says:

    Didn’t you hear. There’s going to be no election. Gordon’s decided he doesn’t want one after all.

  155. 155
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Lies to Chicot.
    Lies about immigration stats.

    How much longer are we going to allow this liar to keep lying.

  156. 156
    streamfisher says:


  157. 157
    Carry On Don't Lose Your Head (1967) says:

    I’m still waiting for the first MP or Lord to stand up in their House and quip:

    ‘You know, given that we are such a bunch of fucking sociopaths and the prevalence of murder, rape and child abuse in the population as a whole is not insignificant, why is it that we are so under-represented in the crime statistics? Something just doesn’t add up!’

  158. 158
    Illegal says:

    If thats the way it is then I am going to deport myself

  159. 159
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    Was the journalist Roger Boyes?

  160. 160
    coup d'etat says:

    It was the case that the leader of the party who won most seats had first crack at forming a coalition government. Why has Gus O’Donnell now decided to change this to allow Brown to stay on even if he comes second to Cameron in seats won.

  161. 161
    Mr Ned says:

    Then Brown would have a back-bench labour MP in a safe Welsh seat killed just so Balls could get in in the immediate by-election. Either that or Brown would have Balls made a Lord, like he did Mandelson.

    I am coming around to the thought that only a most violent death could stop these foul traitors and anti-British extremists in the labour party.

  162. 162
    stitch up for a Lib/Lab pact says:

    Perhaps people believe it because neither Labour nor the Lib Dems have denied it?

  163. 163
    RAM says:

    For someone that wants to ‘hang the bastards’ you seem to be giving the bastards quite a lot of money. Unless you think the Tories are going to be less sleazy, corrupt and generally incompetent? How short some people’s memory can be- but keep those notes coming, both parties need morons like you to keep jamboree going. Hang the bastards aka give the bastards lots of money.

  164. 164
    Ordinary Bloke says:

    Dave needs to nail those limp wristed liberal boys Clegg, Cable and Huhne to confirm that under no circumstances would they do a deal with Brown Liebore in event of a hung parliament to form a LibLie coalition.

    On the presumption that they won’t make such a commitment then they can trumpet quite truthfully that a vote for Libs is a vote for the One Eyed Scottish Cu*t!

  165. 165
    Dick the Prick says:

    There’s a theory that Brenda has helped the lad out through his career and I say bloody well done ma’am. Now if she could just ask one of her officers to pop a few bullets in some Labour MP’s heads I think we could all retire for Pimms and cucumber sandwiches over a lovely summer.

  166. 166
    Blow Job Cooper says:

    I heard it was the Telegraph too!

    Come on give us the name ?

  167. 167
    Mr Ned says:

    He’ll be made a Lord and sit alongside Mandy in the upper house!

    Sickening isn’t it!

  168. 168
    The IMF is coming says:

    Good point.
    Also narrow win puts us in recount country – Chads

  169. 169
    Alex says:

    Why do you think the military have been packed off in their thousands to wars we should have nothing to do with on the other side of the world?

  170. 170
    The Jobs Yours says:

    A man with a clear vision

  171. 171
    UKIP have my vote says:

    Normally I would be happy to support noble efforts, but sadly I have woken up in the middle of the night to see the CCHQ staffers trying to pull the wool over my eyes like they have been doing to the rest of you obviously.

    Tories boast about 25 million war chest, Yet when the GE comes nearer and nearer the Tories like every other party are sticking the begging bowl out to the public.

    Yeah sure pals whatever.

  172. 172
    Labour gave me a new Biro says:

    My fingers are all cramped filling in all these Postal votes

  173. 173
    bergen says:

    No.In theory the PM could still sit in the Lords-but not the Chancellor of the Exchequer.

  174. 174
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Bravo Smellie.
    She was told to stay back and she didn’t. Are our police on these lines required to ask for a statement of intent when some idiot wants to have a go. She is lucky that she wasn’t demonstrating in:
    India, etc etc.

  175. 175
    Canary Wharf Rat says:

    Since when did getting elected(re-elected) matter on who sits in Brown’s cabinet? If by some travesty NewLiars hang on then it doesn’t matter if Balls is elected or not. Don’t forget we have entered the Post Democratic age with New Liars.

  176. 176
    the endgame approacheth says:

    EDL versus UAF, but who’s the hardest?

    There’s only one way to find out…..


  177. 177
    Gordon ( SoldGoldAtThe ) BottomBrown says:

    Yup, we’re having this dumped on you….

    Main article: Enabling Act (Nazi Germany)

    In the United Kingdom
    Although there was never an enabling act in the United Kingdom resembling the one in Nazi Germany, the idea of an enabling act has been advocated by prominent British politicians.

    In the 1930s, both Sir Stafford Cripps and Clement Attlee advocated an enabling act to allow a future Labour government to pass socialist legislation which would not be amended by normal parliamentary procedures and the House of Lords. According to Cripps, his “Planning and Enabling Act” would not be able to be repealed, and the orders made by the government using the act would not be allowed discussion in Parliament.[1] Cripps also suggested measures against the monarchy, but quickly dropped the idea.[2]

  178. 178
    Whump says:

    she don’t need the independence,she needs a brick in her bag

  179. 179
    Carry On Don't Lose Your Head (1967) says:

    Jesus, I thought you wrote ‘Balls vs Alien’ for a sec. There’s no guarantee Alien would win against Balls.

  180. 180
    Down With Brown! says:

    Find out why Cameron is right to send Fink packing:

    5:30 in.

  181. 181
    Hold tight.. says:

    Balls really is a Hunt of the first order

  182. 182
    PM says:

    He can take his f**king Mrs with him too.

  183. 183
    Lib/Lab Pact Mark II says:

    Too late. The deal’s been done. Clegg, Huhne, Cable, Hughes etc have agreed to go into coalition with Brown even if the Tories win the election with more seats than Labour but not enough for an outright majority.

  184. 184
    Weres wally says:

    that chin is a fawkes

  185. 185
    Hoon MacHoon Chief Hoon of Clan MacHoon principal Hoons of hereaboots and a liitle beyond! says:

    Alec Douglas Home was PM for a number of days after he renounced his peerage and before he was elected to the Commons. Quite incredible when you think about it. Off course had he not won his by election he would immediately resigned as PM

  186. 186
    stitch up says:

    Clegg and Brown have done the deal already. It’s going to be a seventies style Lib/Lab pact if there’s a hung parliament.

  187. 187
    Eager layer says:

    Two runner race ,2/5 one ,2/7 the other ? Surely some mistake ? If not ,please bet with me . Cash bets only.

  188. 188
    Ken Lorp says:

    I will put a bottle of 85 Krug on ice on election night just in case Balls gets the boot!

  189. 189
    bergen says:

    At the time of Dunblane I assumed that the reason Hamilton legally held such firearms was on the basis that Scots law on the subject was radically different .I was wrong.That the records are sealed and that a D Notice was imposed suggest there is indeed something to hide.

  190. 190
    Lord G says:

    If there is any justice in this world then Balls will lose that seat.

    No stronger message could be sent to Liebore than ousting the blinky douche-bag

  191. 191
    ST says:

    LOL Mandy will destroy him if he is. Once he’s from under Broon’s protective wing the gloves will be off.

  192. 192
    Carry On Don't Lose Your Head (1967) says:

    Nah, that’s Old One Eye himself doing some micro managing by posting direct. He doesn’t have a great sense of humour, does he?

  193. 193
    Maladroit Labour Chump says:


  194. 194
    Pay Peanuts, Get Monkeys. says:

    Yes the standard has well and truly dropped, at least the old bunch of assorted misfits and trolls could make you laugh.

  195. 195
    Canary Wharf Rat says:


  196. 196

    For once I am in full agreement with you Engineer.
    Guido, I think it is time for for you to re-post the photo of Ed Balls the Bilderberg fascist wearing a Nazi uniform.
    Ed Balls is the heir to the unelected dictator Gordon Brown.
    The fascist Ed Balls must die for our democracy to live.

  197. 197
    Lizzie says:

    No more Ed Balls………..perfect world.

  198. 198
    Brown hates England says:

    Come on Guido – why no blog on Gordon Browns ‘hate speech’ today??

  199. 199
    streamfisher says:

    Between a rock and a hard place, that reminds me of the joke about gelding ranch style, dig a trench, lie flat on your back with a brick in each hand until the unsuspecting animal wanders across into range and then, slam!.

  200. 200
    Gordon ( SoldGoldAtThe ) BottomBrown says:

    There are lies, damned lies and Liebour statistics….

  201. 201
    The Bay City Rollers says:

    Bye bye ballsy,ballsy goodbye

  202. 202
    Oh and by the way says:

    It was only Common Assault in a Magistrates Court. This charge would have been preferred because it would have been easiest to prove. A conviction would have meant the end of this officer’s career……… for what McDoom’s photo opportunity with Omaha Beach?????? It was deliberate to get rid of him.

    The IPCC have said that he could now face a disciplinary hearing on the same evidence. The hidden agenda being that the socialist agenda of getting the Police to defend their actions and at the same time persecute those defending them will be met. This officer can look forward to many months of worry before he knows his fate. What for? A corrupt and useless government???

    If you are to get indignant (WTF) then perhaps you can get a WTF for Smellie having to face 2 trials on the same evidence………… now that is WTF!!!!!!!

  203. 203
    Wayne Trombone (Lord) says:

    I bunged this bloke 20 sheets

    you should too.

    Let us get that muthafucka BALLS out

    (See tony on stage at sedgefield – looked like an aged Magnum PI.)

  204. 204
    Self-Employed Tyke says:

    Donated £10, a good investment I’m sure to a local lad rather than a slimy non-Tyke who takes our good West Yorks people for granted!!

  205. 205
    Goldfinger says:

    No Mr Balls, I want to see you die!

  206. 206
    Lizzie says:

    The strain is starting to show, Brown has “screwed up” his immigration figures on his podcast.

  207. 207
    Anonymous says:

    They’ve all been on the same training course.

  208. 208
    Jonathan says:

    It’s just the way of the majority of lefties. They know they can’t win an argument by the use of reason, logic and facts; so they use bullying, intimidation; then threats and violence. The right is far too polite when dealing with their thuggish tactics.

  209. 209
    Ed Falls says:

    just print his website with the Unite logo etc on it out – who is funding the website?

  210. 210
    SPEND WISELY says:

    If you want justice then donate to


    He’ll be roasting Piggies for 5 years if he wins Cambridge.

  211. 211
    Ed Falls says:

    gordon’s crap with figures.

  212. 212
    Archer Karcher says:

    Who would want to work for them?
    Face it, long hours, minimum wage, scripted Q&A`s / talking points, flying Nokia`s, threatening and abusive employers and a six week contract.

    Hardly inspiring is it?

  213. 213
    Sir William Waad says:

    Ed’s sister is heading up the new NHS campaign against testicular cancer. “Men should examine themselves regularly” said Ophelia Balls.

  214. 214
    jgm2 says:

    The slap-down will get no publicity. The grand-standing by Brown will be all over the BBC until the next bit of Labour grandstanding or Tory pratfall.

  215. 215
    funny that says:

    It’s funny how, at the same demo, half a dozen ‘demonstrators’ were allowed by the police to smash bank and shop windows with impugnity while dozens of cameramen and reporters filmed it for that night’s news programmes, but some young woman who got a bit mouthy was whacked with a truncheon.

    Meanwhile some poor sod who was wandering home from work was attacked for no reason by the police and died.

  216. 216
  217. 217
    Aristander of Telmissus says:

    Oh, my, but this has brightened an otherwise drab and undistinguished day, and truly gladdens the heart. What a shame that there’s not the remotest chances of a classic double, with Yvette Balls (Alton’s finest, the woman with the amazing elastic accent) losing as well?

    What are lamp-posts for, other than hanging ghastly people like them. OTOH, it will be exquisite to watch them trying to rub along on a single MP’s salary and just one set of rigidly-policed expenses, with no realistic prospect of getting their hands on the levers for a good few years.

  218. 218
    Jonathan says:

    What a horrible thought….that’d be like getting one off your brother!!!

  219. 219
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Double jeopardy.
    Obviously a political decision to prosecute. Who could blame him if he said WTF. and an outstanding officer jacked it in. This filthy government apply the same rules to the military when points are there to be scored. Detestable shits all of them.

  220. 220
    cobblers says:

    Looks like Smellie is going to get away with it like Ali Disaei did for years.

    Oh well, that’s the way the Met is run these days.

  221. 221
    thedukeofhunslet says:

    If you don’t like what you see here…get The Balls out.

  222. 222
    mmmmm says:

    Fink is a Labour plant. I wouldn’t trust him an inch.

  223. 223
    amongomous says:

    Bollocks losing his seat would be nice but not enough retribution for anyone who’s had to suffer the insidious little twat.
    Have him tarred and feathered and imprisoned on Lundy island and force his boyish looking wife into drugs and prostitution.

  224. 224
    sarahs ginger growler says:

    13 years of immigration.

    “to rub the rights noses in it”

    well there’s a blinding policy……..

    now gordon tries lying again………

    just search the net for video wembley immigration bnatp……

    what does it require for this turd to be locked up?
    every word he says is a fecking lie!

  225. 225
    JL says:

    Brown has lied over the immigration figures and has already been found out.

    Sky have reported it but not the BBC of course.

  226. 226
    streamfisher says:

    Ah, of course, he meant to screw them down.

  227. 227
    Liberate Us Mr Putin says:

    Don’t worry everyone I sent a handwritten letter and an email to Mr Putin to come invade and save us.

  228. 228
    .243 Win says:

    I suspect the “support the pound” argument will die on its arse in the event of a failed coalition following the election of a hung Parliament as all and sundry ran away to minimise their risks.

    Cue the straightforward dictatorship.

  229. 229
    Oh and by the way says:

    Why should anybody donate to someone else’s election fund?

    Nothing against OH but is this not just another form of troughing off of someone else?

    Open or not is it not a serious question that any PPC wanting to have the benefit of a privileged job of being a Member of Parliament should at least pay their own deposit and election expenses? Why do PPC’s seek funding from anyone else, this is why parties are dependent on the unions and big business.

    Corruption starts early.

  230. 230
    Good grief says:

    A bj from a 64 yr old???

  231. 231
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Funny That.

    Get some in you twat.

  232. 232
    Jonathan says:

    I don’t really think we want the military getting involved in politics; this isn’t Cuba or Venezuela! Anyway, they’re all in Afsponistan.

  233. 233
    Gordon Brown says:

    It was not a lie, I have always told the truth and will not let you down. Immigration is at an all time low and the statistics prove conclusively that there has been a 0% rise since we came to power.

    We are resolute in defense of our borders, why sometimes we deport the same person 3 or 4 times. Who else would do that? Certainly not the do nothing Tories, that`s for sure.

  234. 234
    Anyone with a frickin brain cell. says:

    BBC = Shit news…And the Weather!

  235. 235
    .243 Win says:

    Not that we need and enabling act with the Civil Contingencies Act 2004 conveniently stashed away…

  236. 236
  237. 237
    The Ghost Of Clement Blair Peach says:

    F*ck off Cobblers.

  238. 238
    Sheikh Saleh says:

    me like boy woman me pay good price

  239. 239
    Vote_For_Balls? says:

    If I went into a booth with a voting form that had….. “”BALLS”” ….written on it

    I would march right back to the electoral official and complain about some hoodlum had scrawled graffiti on it

  240. 240
    Mark Oaten says:

    It’s everyone’s duty to make sure he pays for his balls up. What’s the betting blinky won’t do any post-defeat interviews?

  241. 241
    Sir Purplenurple SG,MD,C.U.N.T says:

    That’s because i performed a humourectomy on Gordon to make room for his ego.

  242. 242
    Jack Ketch says:

    I am very keen on “swings” and I think that there will be a lot of surprises come election night and Ed Balls will be one of them

  243. 243
    Oh and by the way says:

    There have been quite a few ‘ethnic’ officers promoted beyond their skills in the politically correct atmosphere brought in by this corrupt government after the Stephen Lawrence (MacPherson) Enquiry.

    This corrupt Liebor government were so quick to brand the Met institutionally racist they had not given it a moment’s thought (as with many other shoot from the hip Policies) as to the consequences were.

    Once out of the bag this racist tiger has never been tamed… look where we are now, immigration out of control, politicised police, and crime figures fiddled.

    Don’t blame the police blame these corrupt and vile Labour politicians.

  244. 244
    Anonymous says:

    There are still 80 million muslims left in Turkey, and EU Dave is hoping to import them.

  245. 245
    BBC Trust says:

    We believe in free migration, unlimited immigration and a world without borders.

    ***As long as the bastards keep paying the license fee, don’t take our jobs and keeping letting us get away with whatever we want.

  246. 246
    stilyagi_air_corps says:


  247. 247
    Mrs Complete Balls says:

    This just isn’t fair…my darling Eddie baby has done a wonderful job for his constituents & for the Labour movement. He is a king amongst paupers!! I’m sure that he’ll become the next Fuhrer, sorry I mean PM, of the UK!!

  248. 248
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    no thanks. already got a couple. no room left.

  249. 249
    streamfisher says:

    “some hoodlum had scrawled graffiti on it” that’s Ed and his contribution to state education.

  250. 250
    What larks,Pip ! What larks ! says:

    As a Minister Balls would indeed still be a Minister whether he was elected or not. Ministers and Prime Ministers are servants of the Crown and can continue in office(as would the Labour Government) until dismissed by HMQ or if the Prime Minister hands in his seals of office to the Queen.It is tradition in modern times that firstly the Prime Minister must be a member of the commons(not Lords) and that they should command a majority in The House with or without support from other parties and only if defeated on their Queens Speech which is effectively a Vote of Confidence must they resign and the Queen would then send for the leader of the opposition and offer him an opportunity to try and form an administration.If he failed the Queen would then endeavour to get all parties to form a coalition interim government for a set time limit say 12 months max and then grant another dissolution. She would not immediately grant a Dissolution should parties be unable to agree amongst themselves but would detrmine it not in the national interest to do so and would command that they endeavour to try again for consensus.If they could not obtain a consensus then SHE would grant a Dissolution but in that event….God help us all

  251. 251
    I hate New Labour says:

    If he loses, it proves the existence of God in my eyes.

  252. 252
    The negotiator says:

    But she ain’t worth an ounce of cocksnot,i’ll throw her in for free if you behead her hubby live on the net.

  253. 253
    .243 Win says:

    Nah. The law on Section 1 Firearms in Jockistan was the same as in England – still is with minor differences.

    At the time there were a lot of questions being asked about the failure of the local constabulary in failing to revoke his certificates… more here.

    More like a collective arse-covering exercise rather than anything more sinister.

  254. 254

    […] Spotted this bitty bit on Guiod just now. The bastard’s likely to go down in his constituency. Time he did, such a bugger. And nasty with it. […]

  255. 255
    The Jeremy Whine show is the biggest heap of shit on Radio 2 says:

    No, not a noose; handcuff one of his ankles to the back of a car and drive it around the M25 v e r y s l o w l y. 1st gear with the engine on idle-revs, mostly, although you’d have to speed up a bit going up Reigate Hill.

    People could bet on how many junctions you could pass before his screams fade away.

    If by chance he survives, do a lap on honour.

  256. 256
    Anonymous says:

    Longing for that Ballsaching Portillo moment… Still over a month to wait… Sigh…

  257. 257
    Sir William Waad says:

    Arise, Lord Balls of Scrotum….

  258. 258
    decimus says:

    Next time Brown gets up to speak,everybody within earshot should stick their fingers in both ears,and shout “Liar,liar,pants on fire”.Why anybody listens to a man who wouldn’t recognize the truth if it hit him between the eyes(sorry,eye)
    beats me.I’m just happy that when he sold half our gold for $250 an ounce,I spotted a wonderful opportunity,and bought some.It’s worth 4 times as much.

  259. 259
    Sir William Waad says:


  260. 260
    bandersnatch says:

    Whoops… Mozilla… New browser… I said…

    Longing for that Ballsaching Portillo moment… Still over a month to wait… Sigh…

  261. 261
    Ripple says:

    dont believe the internet polls..there will be no hung parliament..byby balls

  262. 262
    Total Fabrication and Lies says:

    Brown’s statement “Controlled Immigration for a fairer Britain” needs to be scrutinised. It is valueless and without any effect on the REAL immigration problem and pressure created on jobs,housing,health services and education.

    It is not a matter of controlling the number of Bangladeshi Balti chefs,The REAL problem is the massive influx into the UK from the new accession states of the EU…principally Poland;Rumania;Lthuania etc. These quotas cannot be controlled under the EU free movement laws within its boundaries. The majority of EU states with the exception of UK arranged transistional arrangemnts on immigration into its country from the eastern european states on the date they acceded to the EU.For whatever reason Labour did not(ignoring the allegations regarding Labour wishing to swap the UK for party political purposes with immigrants)

    The fact is that Brown can pontificate as much as he likes and trumpet on about controlling immigration.He can’t control what the real problem is and effectively he is once again taking the electorate for fools.His promises/policies are worthless

  263. 263
    Yvette says:

    I put something on Ed’s Balls but he didn’t thank me

  264. 264

    Does anyone else find it ironic that as Gordon Browns tells us immigration is really good for jobs, Ed Balls has to assure his constituents it’s not!!

  265. 265
    Bagehot's grandad says:

    One parliament does not bind another.

    ‘Enabling’ legislation may be invoked to ease the passage of laws through parliament, but should it seek to perpetuate itself by the repeal of the Parliament Acts re. Elections, then it’s into civil war country.

    Parliament was effectively born out of civil war and the assumption by ‘force majeure’ of the royal prerogative (sovereignty in the English and Welsh case, with the later addition of Scotland and eventually Ireland to the settlement).

  266. 266
  267. 267
    Al says:

    Get these animals of of office.

  268. 268
  269. 269
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Gordon Browm

    The nutter on the bus.

  270. 270
    Maladroit Labour Chump says:


    Do your Balls hang low,
    Do they wobble to and fro
    Can you tie them in a knot
    Can you tie them in a bow
    Can you throw them o’er your shoulder
    Like a regimental soldier
    Do your balls hang low
    Do your balls hang lowwwwwwwwwwww

  271. 271
    Full Stop says:


  272. 272
    Regrets says:

    The weather is fucking TV from Winterhill. so much for digital,stupid Hunts

  273. 273
    The Thick End of the electorate says:

    A sizeable proportion of the electorate have the attention span of a gnat(why do you think that programmes on TV have a recap of what’s gone before every 10 minutes immediately after the adverts ?( e.g. how many times in a 45 min programme(ignoring breaks) do with have to be told that Kirsty and Phil are helping some aspirational thirty something couple to buy a town pad in London and a retreat in Provence with a budget of £1.7 million ?).

    Most of the population under 35 have no idea of British history other than they believe that Thatcher was akin to Hitler or where palaces like Mozambique are in relation to the UK. We have bred a generation of thick;pleasure seeking;irresponsible morons. Do you honestly think that they will even comprehend or actually dissect Brown’s claims especially when the media such as Sky and BBC are feeding them a drip drip of lies and obfustications ?

  274. 274
    Maladroit Labour Chump says:

    @237 and 265 above, thanks.

    I don’t trust Brown, his bully boys or his Forces from Hell one inch.

    Civil War here we come…..

  275. 275
    Peter Grimes says:


    Well they have got form, lots of it, in stealing from the UK far right!

    Do you remember ‘British jobs for British workers’?

    Never forget that ZaNuLaBor are Commufascists!

  276. 276
    Bring back the Light Programme says:

    Analogue still working here(until 2013 at least) although DAB radio is total shite and often goes off air for hours at a time.Thank God for FM band

  277. 277
    Dorian Smith says:

    Not forgetting the BBC of course.

  278. 278
    streamfisher says:

    ? You’re supposed to smoke it.

  279. 279
    Groucho says:

    Not to mention the extreme rapidity with which a certain senior Scottish Labour minister involved with the issue of the firearms licence was whisked out of the country into an anonymous role at NATO, never to be seen again.
    This happened at the exact time the D Notice was applied, but I’m sure that ws just a coincidence

  280. 280
    Hoon MacHoon Chief Hoon of Clan MacHoon principal Hoons of hereaboots and a liitle beyond! says:

    What if Farrage beats the Hoon Bercow. When the commons re-convenes it wont have an agreed hoon to be speaker. Labour would make merry with this and unse proccedural wrangles to delay for ever any votes of confidence in the commons!

  281. 281
    Just Asking says:

    Did I see that Tony Cameron on telly yesterday?

  282. 282
    Lightweight Cast Iron says:

    Christ! Balls is a repulsive c’unt.

    Peter Allen did quite well, there. I didn’t think 5L had any spine left.

  283. 283

    So, according to Gordon Brown, Balls is engaging in “dog-whistle politics”.

  284. 284
    cobblers says:

    fuck off yerself fucktard

  285. 285
    Started Summit says:

    When your balls are low
    and there dragging in the snow
    and you get that funny feeling
    you could whitewash any ceiling
    Oh Mandy put your fanny next to mine

  286. 286
    Lightweight Cast Iron says:

    Sadly, for her constituents, she’s just too thick to realise she’s thick.

    She genuinely believes she’s a sharp thinker, silly sod.

  287. 287
    Anonymous says:

    So we can have a referendum on membership of the foul fascist EU.
    Tory liars.

  288. 288
    Ed Falls says:


    Ed Santa Dash Event for RNID 26 Nov 2009

  289. 289
    Dorian Smith says:

    Labour (and Mervyn King) talking the pound down since August 2007, and no one has picked them up on it, about time someone did.

  290. 290
    Fact 2 says:

    They don’t watch the news

  291. 291
    bloody norah says:

  292. 292
    The truth seeker Gordon Brown Feb 2010 says:

    Bergen.If you google my title you will find who signed Hamiltons certificate.

  293. 293
    Jackass Straw says:

    For the last 13 years we’ve been deliberately flooding Britain with immigrants for purely greedy, selfish party reasons.

    Now, with just weeks to go before an election, we’re going to cynically promise to clamp down on immigration.

    So vote for us, you mugs.

  294. 294
    ? says:

    Is he from Dunblane?

  295. 295
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:

    ‘EDTHEBALL!!! ‘EDTHEBALL!!! (phweee-tweet) (squit) ONTHE’EDSAHN!

  296. 296
  297. 297
    lol says:

    He looks a bit like Wee Georgie Robbertson

  298. 298
    Joanna Lumely says:

    I have some pretty useful lads that can be mustered if necessary…

    To be honest, they’re already champing at the bit.

  299. 299
    Vote Vote Vote for Jacqui. says:

    I heard it was a Telegraph Pole.

  300. 300
  301. 301
    Taggart says:

    Wee Alan Milburn went on leave at the same time.Och the new

  302. 302
    stilyagi_air_corps says:

    Odd silence from the barking uaf dog, lately… been bought to heel by its masters, has it?

  303. 303
    cock robin says:

    Has Gordon Brown seen this? He claims immigration has been strictly controlled throughout 13 years of Labour government.

  304. 304
    Jackass Straw says:

    That’s what I like to see, plenty of new, eternally gratefully little Labour voters, with not a ghastly English face to be seen.

    Ethnic cleansing. You can’t beat it!

  305. 305
    Yvette and Jon, sitting in a tree: Kay-Ie-eSs-eSs-Ie-eN-Gee. says:

    With Ed out of the way, Yvette will be able to swan around the HoC with a mattress strapped to her back and knee pads.

    I bet she’s donated big, to Antony Calvert war-chest, and is busy buying up boxes of open-gusset knickers ready for the next parliament.

  306. 306
    LOL says:

    Is that where they filmed Black Hawk Down?

  307. 307
    barefootcontessa says:

    God, he is SO awful!

  308. 308
    Not your dad says:

    your mums the same

  309. 309
    Greg Dyke-Turd says:

    A great recruiting ground for the BBC

  310. 310
    Blow Job Cooper says:

    Im up for civil war. We’d be better of without Labour scum

  311. 311
    Labour Scum says:

    Importing a new electorate to ensure permanent Labour rule.

  312. 312
    Blow Job Cooper says:

    The Bastards I am referring to is this corrupt Labour government that has systematically destroyed this great country, given it up to Europe and have feathered their own nests !

  313. 313
    Sir Cliff says:

    I don’t think that’s at all funny

  314. 314
    Labour Scum says:

    We might as well have been ruled by the f-ing IRA for the last 13 years. They couldn’t have been more anti-British than this Labour filth.

  315. 315
    white flight says:

    Thank God I moved to Hemel Hempstead!

  316. 316
    M&r( 04ten says:

    it has a certain attraction

  317. 317
    John Of York says:

    Notice the spokesperson about the trial without a jury was not a white ENGLISH man

  318. 318
    do tell says:

    So who’s this journalist she’s carrying on with?

  319. 319
    Moley says:

    Over reaction by the Conservatives.

    Prescott was allowed to punch a voter in the face and get away with it, and a Conservative councillor is suspended for describing Labour campaignbers as “Limp wristed boys”.

    Fuck it.

    My mind is made up, I am not going to vote for the gay conservatives; I’ve seen enough.

  320. 320
    Vote_For_Balls? says:

    OK, a graffito…


  321. 321
    Trevor Phillips says:

    White English men have been ethnically cleansed for being intrinsically racist.

  322. 322
    Sarah Brown says:

    Did someone call me?

  323. 323
    barefootcontessa says:

    Not quite. Still plenty of Newlabour scum hanging around the planet.

  324. 324
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:

    RAAAARRKK!!! AYEAYECAP’N! SHIVERMETIMBERS!!! (tappitytap) (hornpipe)

  325. 325
    D L George says:

    It does under Liebore Bagehot.

  326. 326
    Anonymous says:

    Oh fuck off you shower of fucktards, this mad cow was working herself and the crowd into a frenzy, she was precicely the type whom you normally decry as being rabid loony extremists if the situation had got out of hand and a real riot had occured all you bedwetters would have been the first to decry the Police. His actions were proportionate end off. Mad cow !

  327. 327
    Dr Andy Burnham says:


  328. 328
    English Heretic says:

    I’ve paid my due – bring on the election night eviction, oh yes – BALLS OUT.

  329. 329
    Moley says:

    The way that democracy ought to work is that when somebody stands for public office, it is the electorate who decide whether they agree with what the candidate / officeholder says, and not the party leader.

    If the Conservatives are going to expel everybody who does not take an oath of loyalty to the homosexual fan club, they are going to have very few members left and get very few votes.

    Tolerance is not one sided; it has to work both ways.

  330. 330
    Call me Infidel says:

    Did you also perform his charisma bypass?

  331. 331
    Anonymous says:

    Absoluteley shocking! people walking down a high street.

  332. 332
    JR says:

    Get rid of the FLIPPING SWINE not only on the hosue front!!!

    Who will employ him if Liebour don’t win?


  333. 333
    JR says:

    It should have read HOUSE but so excited about the clown getting kicked into touch my spelling went astray.

  334. 334
    Disaffected says:

    Today McSlug was corrected by the statistics office because he did not provide accurate immigration figures- well that’s a surprise from a party who wanted to change the face of Britain by mass immigration- Brown won’t let you down. I wonder if he and Darling took the immigration figures into account when spinning the budget figures or the amount to be spent on public services? McSlug also forgot to mention he wants Turkey to join Europe so the limited UK taxpayers can feed a few thousand more on the welfare state. He only wanted to talk about non-EU immigration. How about EU immigration and asylum figures on top of the ones he produced? In 2005 anyone who dared to challenge Liebour were tagged a racist, now McSlug wants a sensible debate limiting, I suggest, the evidence that could be thrown at him. Straw, Blair and Blunkett also instigated mass immigration. Bring back Andy Neather who first let it be known what they were up to and how they were going to spin it to the public. No wonder he does not want his opponents to use evidence agianst him. Liebour wanted to change the face of Britain for their own political ends, not to serve the interests of the country. British jobs for British workers- try telling that to the mass unemployed and how you put them out of work McSlug. Brown won’t let you down.

    Trust Brown’s judgment: Brown robbed everyone’s pension in 1997 and is now wondering what should be done to finance people in their old age- Brown won’t let you down. Brown sold our gold when it was at its lowest price costing the UK £7 billion pounds- Brown won’t let you down. Brown wanted to change the face of Britain by mass immigration- he now understands the cost to the UK- Brown won’t let you down. Brown improperly financed the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, thousands of people lost their lives because Brown did not provide enough money. Brown’s denied this in complete contrast to the evidence of military chiefs. He then realised he did not fund the wars properly and wrote to confirm he was wrong- Brown won’t let you down. Brown is the one who was given a good economy and now it is bankrupt- Brown won’t let you down. Brown still claims for a second home that he does not have, brown won’t let you down. Brown recently told the country- I won’t let you down. He cannot be trusted. Brown has let you down for 13 years, it is time for change, vote him out.

  335. 335
    Taggart says:

    Just like the wee lass Hollie Grieg.Och the new

  336. 336
    SarumSea says:

    …..and it doesn’t hurt at all. Unless you catch your thumbs twixt the brix….

  337. 337
    Anonymous says:

    Have they never seen different coloured people doing their shopping before.?

  338. 338
    SarumSea says:

    The books are stacked with enabling acts. You haven’t been paying attention, naughty voters.

  339. 339
    Snotrocket says:

    Yes, 115, the Poll Tax was very popular amongst those who would actually pay. But labour and the SWP managed to mobilise the great unwashed and the uninfomed. But, and this is worse, Maggie was being advised by the toe-rag Hesseltine – who later stabbed her in the back – and he persuaded her to let him change things to Council Tax. And there, for those who need the fucking history lesson, was born the 17.5% VAT: the extra 2.5% was the sop to buy off the supporters of the PT.
    All that was ever worng, if I may continue the history lesson, was that a great idea was screwed up, mainly by civil servants with an axe to grind, during implementation. That was a cock-up.
    Fortunately, Hezza never profited from his back-stabbing.

  340. 340
    Taggart says:

    There are a few people in Dunblane who would like to take him for a walk in the woods.Och the new

  341. 341
    SarumSea says:

    What are all these donations used for? You can’t even buy a potential supporter a pint!!

  342. 342
    SarumSea says:

    Yes, the fairest tax ever. FAIREST. Got that Gordon?

  343. 343
    Call me Infidel says:

    Not disagreeing with you per se, but you fail to consider how many people from Africa and the rest of turd world have been given European passports now. Whilst there has been a massive influx from Eastern Europe. Most of these people are at least prepared to work. I doubt you could say the same for many of the former “refugees” who now have free right of movement and have set up shop in Britain thanks to the insane welfare policies. Oh and they are also able to take advantage of the EU family member visa like this chap….

  344. 344
    Anonymous says:

    I remember listening to that on the radio as I drove home from work, in open mouthed disbelief at Ed Balls. He has got to be the biggest c’unt to ever get into politics, and that is going some. If anyone deserves to lose their seat, it is Ed Balls. What a complete tosser.

  345. 345

    he is a fat fuck Pig

  346. 346
    we've been taken over says:

    Yeah, a British high street but not a white face in sight amongst thousands.

    Nobody voted for that.

  347. 347
    Jez says:

    Its supposed to be London not fucking Mogadishu or Islamabad you prick.

  348. 348

    Takes a Tweeter to hear a Woofer.

  349. 349
    dick sniffin and his toytown chutney ferret nazis says:

  350. 350
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Was Balls not ‘parked’ in a fake, labour-financed, so-called charity while waiting for a seat – the Smith Institute?

  351. 351
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Eeeeh by gum, twill be fuckin hilarious when the fine people of yorkshire tell balls to flip the fuck off.

  352. 352
    Cant stand Gordon Brown says:

    Gordon got the figures wrong with regard to the armed forces funding, he’s now got the figures wrong on immigration. It beggers belief that he was chancellor for over a decade. No wonder this counry is in such a fucking mess. Get this bastard out. Don’t waste votes on other parties who have no chance of holding government. A vote for any other party other than conservative is a vote for Brown.

  353. 353
    Downtown Lhasa says:

    Haven’t you Tibetans seen Chinese walking down the high street before?

  354. 354
    Anonymous says:

    Aye and the good Mr Purcell was only buying talcum powder North o’ the border as well.

  355. 355
    davew says:

    Sir Peter Tapsell would take the chair as Father of the House (the current Father, Alan Williams, is retiring at the next election).

  356. 356
    Don't make a fuss says:

    I bet local history books showing photos of those areas before the onset of enrichment have quietly disappeared off of library shelves.

  357. 357
    Jethro says:

    Always wondered, now I know: R.N.I.D. stands for ‘Royal National Institute for the Desperate/Disgusting/…

  358. 358
    Henry Wood says:

    Oooooh, I’m just a poor old pensioner but I’ve just sent all of five pounds from the money what Gordon sent for me electric bill to that Tory bloke who will castrate Balls.

    p.s. the proper words to that song (from 1944) are:

    When your balls hang low,
    Can you tie them in a bow?
    Do you get that funny feeling
    When you stot them off the ceiling
    And you catch them when you’re kneeling
    On the floor

    ON THE FLOOR WITH ED BALLS! The blinky squinky quunt!

  359. 359
    Never appeared on this blog says:

    The proles will all be too busy watching strictly so no chance of a grassroots uprising against our political masters.sorry.

  360. 360
    Jethro says:

    Dick the P***k
    Sir, I was going to call you out, for having referred to our Dear Queen in a most un-becoming way. However, from the rest of your post, I think that, given a little education from someone like me, in more courtierly ways, you could be an asset: anyone who thinks that popping a few bullets in some Labour M.P.s’ heads is a good idea, is, by definition, a good bloke.

  361. 361
    Anonymous says:

    Lets stuff Zanulabour

  362. 362
    Cat Apiller says:

    can I run my tracked bulldozer over the remains?

  363. 363
    Henry Wood says:

    p.s. I’m just a poor old pensioner from Scotland so now you will all know just how much that fiver means to me.

    Castrate Balls! = Oi’ll give it five! (I gave it a fiver!)

    p.p.s. I’m just a poor owld pensioner frae the Hielands but Aa was fair black affronted during last years collectin’ o’ the peats fae the winter. Divvee ken, some high-falutin’ Lord frae doon Sooth tried to join in wi’ us, and afore a single soul could stop him, why, the only gay in the village was up to his knees in Pete!

    Aye, ye can tek the poof oot o’ the hielands but ye canna tek the poof oot o’ Westminster, can ye no?

  364. 364
    Snotrocket says:

    I hope we are aware that the DAB system that we have in this country is now superceded by DAB+ (try using a UK DAB radio in France). Pretty soon we shall all have to change the DABs we’ve already bought. Why can’t the government just butt out of these sorts of schemes and allow the market to figure it out? Rather like Blue Ray is being determined.

    Let’s face it, governments, especially this one, always manage to cock-up IT programs. Then again, perhaps they have ulterior motives for moving from FM…

  365. 365
    Jethro says:

    Are you serious? Proper Copper? Extinct ca. 1959, surely!

  366. 366
    Zer Dangly Knutts says:

    Make it a bigger number. Hitler will ask for a recount – did he have 1 or 2 balls?

  367. 367
    Nun of the Above says:

    Can he claim back the Council Tax for staying there too?

  368. 368
    Allan@Aberdeen says:

    It’s now claimed on the PNB’s website that fewer than half of live births in England are to native Britons. If true, and it’s all duly referenced, then we are on the way out of our island regardless of what happens with immigration. Those who would breed us out are already here procreating at our expense. Can’t blame them. After all, a nice big flat for the 5 – 6 kids paid for by whitey is much better than a cardboard box in Nairobi, Lagos, Mogadishu……..

  369. 369
    50 Calibre says:

    Do you mean Yvette Fucking Cooper?

  370. 370
    Herr E. Knackers says:

    Fondlebums and Balls has a certain ring to it.

  371. 371
    Paul Parton says:

    Scousers haf no sense of humour like la!

  372. 372
    Paul Parton says:

    She knows there is 24 hours in the day

  373. 373
    Mike Litorus says:

    It was in the 87 manifesto, the commie turds had their chance to get rid of it then, but the country flicked the V’s in their direction.

    And I will be encouraging everyone I know to email the Youtube link to Bollox’ Portillo moment, both to him and that ugly tranny he is usually accompanied with…

  374. 374
    Al Megrahi,s Doctor says:

    Oh fine fine, thanks for asking!

  375. 375
    Testy Balls says:

    I gave a tenner to Antony Calvert because I can’t abide Balls. I have never contributed to a political cause before.

  376. 376
    Jac says:

    Oh I do hope so – that man is so insidious even the most warped of minds would find him appalling.

  377. 377
    RT says:

    As far as I know, the Queen will ask the party with the largest number of seats to try to form a Government. If they don’t manage to stitch up a deal, she’ll then be obliged to ask the next largest party to see if they can form a Government. But I honestly don’t think it’s going to come to that, unless the Tories screw up magnificently during the campaign.

  378. 378
    streamfisher says:

    Nothing wrong with how it was written the first time, don’t take things personally and you might find the hidden message (that Balls is a delinquent).

  379. 379
    udderly 'orrible says:

    …and should that fail to work McSlime’nSlug would have enough postal votes and rigged ballots boxes in reserve to ensure he and the eunuch BBBalls stayed in power.

  380. 380
    Technomist says:

    Balls has a brillian sense of humour. Confronted by the people of Walthamstow complaining of a shortfall of over 160 primary school places for this coming school year, he explained the lack of provision for all these kids was due to more parents than expected deciding not to send their kids to private primary schools.

  381. 381
    Ford Escort says:

    don’t talk dirty!

  382. 382
    Boule de Suif says:

    but he would rapidly find a job as a researcher for charity. Remind me what his going rate was for the Smith Institute.

  383. 383
    Learned Physician says:

    I presume the humour was black bile? I hope you let it out through trepanning.

  384. 384
    Gordoom cooks the books says:

    surprise surprise liebour are talking big on immigration a few weeks before election YAWN ps just watched Paxo rip wanka woolas a new arse on newsnight woolas was well pissed off

  385. 385
    Engineer says:

    Not me.

    Warning – namethief about.

  386. 386
    Grammar School Boy says:

    Without a vote in the GE !!!

  387. 387
    Ophelia Balls says:

    Hey, I never said that!

  388. 388
    You can never trust a Tory says:

    I don’t think that’s clever or funny. For a start, the ‘canned’ laughter idea has been lifted straight from the compilation of Gordon’s hilarious YouTube ‘dancing’ video.

    Now, what would you do if it was Cameron in the pic?

    “I propose to cancel the taxes of millionaires and make up the shortfall from everyone else – Vote For Me”?

  389. 389
    It's just a game says:

    Balls is up against the BNP. Morley has the only BNP councillor elected to Leeds City Council. (And whilst we’re on the subject of Leeds City Council, is there a fag paper of a difference between lefty Andrew Carter’s policies and the Labour lot that preceded him? I think not.) Everyone is missing the point – it doesn’t matter whether Labour or Tory wins Morley and Outwood – the UK will get the same Fabian/Marxist/pro-EU policies for another five years.

  390. 390

    Fuck you boyo!!

    Analogue is off so you can stick your telly tax – 140 quid buys a hell of a lot of videos and DVDs for me.

  391. 391
    mort says:

    hmm no pmq’s today.. sod my daily bile throw is wasted.. feck better go home now

  392. 392
    YMCA says:

    Power to the village people

  393. 393
    DOLE HEAD says:

    It is also the country of Eastenders, X factor, Relocation Relocation and Come Dine With Me, trust me the plebs will never get off their arses for civil war.

  394. 394
    D L George says:

    Cut your TV intake or Watch Grand Designs instead.
    It’s better for the health.

  395. 395
    Snuggles says:

    I hope the electorate give Balls a kick in the balls!!!!!!! ;-) Still his other half Yvette Copper will still have her seat, and so be able to look after him!!!

  396. 396
    Politwecal says:

    He’s doing fine on twitter still… At Politwecal you can follow the latest party opinions and reactions side by side here: . Balls is there too, unflinching.

  397. 397
    KEN BARLOW says:

    Surely Gail Platt has had to cope with enough already.

  398. 398
    smellie by nature says:

    Or Homophobia

  399. 399
    Sheila Farquerson Colostomy Bag says:

    Nor I.

  400. 400
    Alvin Stardust says:

    My missus works in an office where a couple of days ago two girls in their twenties were ogling some pictures of Robbie Williams, my other half remarked ” hes ok but hes no Elvis” to which they replied ” Whos Elvis”.

  401. 401
    rotten to the core says:

    if i googled

    The truth seeker Gordon Brown Feb 2010

    how many more would pass this on?

  402. 402
    carter says:

    lying about the odds again..balls price to win are 2/5..hmm thats not 6/4…you daft twat.

  403. 403
    Yvette and Jon, sitting in a tree: Kay-Ie-eSs-eSs-Ie-eN-Gee. says:

    “Put a monkey on the pony at 100-to-8″

    That’s the sort of shite that giant he-pig, Clare Balding, says before nipping down to kennels to shag the dogs.

  404. 404
    Piss stained y-fronts says:


    Oh, you mean this fella…

  405. 405
    Henry Wood says:

    “Gordoom cooks the books” said:

    ‘ps just watched Paxo rip wanka woolas a new arse on newsnight woolas was well pissed off’

    Shute! I read your comment and went to watch. Honestly, I’ve not watched “Newshute” for yonks and Poxman truly has become a caricuture of all those comedy shows showing hard interviewers. I switched off after about 10 mins then realised I must have missed the Woolas NAR so am now going back to watch. It better be guid, as me and Gorgon say as we enjoy our bevvies.

  406. 406

    I’m all for seeing that fat c*nt swinging on a rope. Add his mentor as well and I might just have to mess my pants.

  407. 407
    Hangman Smig says:

    I like that suggestion.

    I’ll also be invoicing for wear and tear on the car, and mileage at 40p per mile.

  408. 408
    GDS says:

    I think it’s a poor metaphor for mass immigration but a perfectly aposite one for multiculturalism and ghettoisation. They are the true legacies of Labour’s immigration policies.

  409. 409
    smig says:

    Hmmm, how the fuck are they going to use the phone when they’re deaf?

  410. 410

    […] Meanwhile Guido has posted on the prospects of Ed (Damien) Balls prospects of keeping his seat, here: […]

  411. 411
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    No, Yvette Ball-Scooper

  412. 412
    bob says:

    just a length of piano wire and a lampost. Twang !!!!

  413. 413
    tony benn's will says:

    why no new subjects since march 31?

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers