March 4th, 2010

Jonah’s Pharmaceutical Omnishambles

The Curse of the One-Eyed Son of the Manse will not go away. Pharma big boys AstraZeneca were very chuffed when Gordon welcomed their chairman as one of Britain’s Business Ambassadors three months ago. This was never going to go well. The smile was soon wiped off their faces when Mr Ambassador fired 2,200 of his staff this week.

The curse was particularly powerful north of the border. Last Thursday Gordon shared the top table at a Labour Party fund-raiser in Glasgow with the leader of the council, the flamboyant “high-flyer” Steven Purcell. Colleagues say he was buzzing at the party.  The next morning his career was over.  Purcell mysteriously cancelled meetings before eventually clearing his whole diary and promptly resigned citing “stress“.

Purcell then spent the weekend in the Castle Craig rehab centre and brought in a friend’s crisis management company to handle the press.  The spin is that this is all stress related.  When Guido gets over-stressed he goes on a beach holiday, not to a rehab centre. It is rumoured that Purcell’s staff wanted to send out a more honest press release about his “chemical dependency”.  In any event the cover-up lasted less than 48 hours.  Has he blown his career? Who nose?  His spin team and lawyers are threatening to sue all and sundry. Peter Watson, his lawyer, told Guido that he would invoke Article 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights against him if the blog crossed the line into Purcell’s privacy.  What a proper charlie…

Downing Street is silent on the issue, perhaps like our high-flyer they need to sort out their line…


  1. 1
    David Cameron says:

    A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation, and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights woul d go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, “May I please use the restroom?” The bartender replied, “OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.” “Well, in that case I’ll just look the other way, ” said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

    She went to the bartender and said, “Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?” “Well, now they know you’re one of us, ” said the bartender. “Would you lik e a drink?” “But, I still don’t understand, ” said the puzzled nun. “You see, ” laughed the bartender, “every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.”


    • 139
      Gordon's dividing lines says:

      Purcell cracked up.


      • 148
        Anonymous says:

        While Purcell may or may not have white dust below his snout, there are otehr stories cirulating about brown noses in the publishing sector:

        Shouldn’t it read?: Gail Rebuck – wife of Lord Philip Gould and architect of the Neu Laber project – said “As an account of the nature and abuses of power”…


        • 201
          Martin Day says:

          We will crush you. Our deaths head legions of unemployed scum will drag this nation down to level Labour have always dreamed of doing!

          Our twisted repetative spin drones will pour poison into your ears.

          And finally we will release the brain dead Glasgow Labour voters to destroy whatever is left.

          All Hail,

          Gord is Great!


          • Labour Gangsters in the West of Scotland says:

            Rumours have it that the coke line, (pardon the pun), is a red herring.

            Tittle tattle says that he was shagging a fellow councillor’s husband and one of the SPT directors he got rid of the other week threatened to expose it to the press.



          • Qui Bono says:

            It’s all very simple, he is in rehab because he is NOT addicted to anything at all, so there. Nothing to see here, move along.

            Anyone who believes this credible and wholy honest tale, please contact me as I have some valuable swamp land to sell.


          • Henry Crun says:

            Damien, there’s some fag ends behind the bike sheds that need picking up. We’ve warned you before about using school property to post drivelm on blogs.


          • Would this have anything to do with the fact that this year Scotland has seen more snow than any year since Cheech & Chong played the Greens Playhouse in 1968.

            ‘who nose’. Good one. Next Week – Spinal Tap Returns.


      • 188
        Anonymous says:

        Guido, trying to read between the “lines” here but are you suggesting that Purcell takes his marching orders from Bolvia’s finest marching powder? Just asking like…


        • 379
          Cato Street Conspirator says:

          Oh dear, another coke and bull story.


          • ron Vibentrop says:

            So that’s two Scots twats who are junkies. notorious bullies, keen on little people and effing useless at their jobs.


      • 258
        Dame Mandelson of Jacksy says:

        I often have a Poof on my Skunk.


      • 279
        P Im Wright says:

        Purcell IS cracked.


      • 412
        • 499
          Bob says:

          Wonder what female presenters were getting shagged? Supposedly well known.

          Someone would make a fortune out of having the footage. Would love to see them getting shagged rapid.


      • 496
        Anonymous says:

        No he didn’t. He was about to become one of NuLab’s annointed when the Illustrious Greatest Leader Of All Time invited him to “Kiss my ring.”

        Unfortunately Purnell took the request too literally, dropped to his knees, and delivered his homage! The experience proved to be overwhelming, and it will take a great deal more than “re-hab” to restore the fellow’s mental stability!!!


    • 226
      Anonymous says:

      Such a statue used to be found in the ladies toilet at a West Riding pub (I seem to remember it was called the Greyhound)


    • 465
      The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

      James Purcell was “the real thing” but got “snowed” under due to stress
      cut the poor guy some smack guido


    • 492
      WOODEN SPOON says:



  2. 2
    MisterE says:

    What has Gordon done to that poor man, that’s left him feeling stressed and with a “milky” top lip…??!


    • 4
      George Osborne says:

      Left a mark ripping off his false moustache.

      He was doing his impression of Hitler


    • 10
      Not One Of Your Best says:

      Hmm… not such a good idea to lead on the cocaine line, excuse the pun.
      Dave and Gideon can be tarred with the same brush.


      • 20
        Richard Manns says:

        “Gordon and Harriet can be tarred with the same brush too.”

        Look, mummy, I can make amazingly baseless allegations and pretend they’re true!
        Do I get a prize?

        Yes, dear, Downing St’s been looking for a replacement to McBride for a few months now…


        • 29
          Anon says:

          Please look at the comment below made by the scientist.
          Don’t you think it is important to know whether the future PM took cocaine and other illegal drugs?
          Our host obviously thinks drug use is important or he wouldn’t have posted this thread.


          • backwoodsman says:

            A) Glad you acknowledge DC will be the future PM
            b) The ‘scientist’ ( lab troll to the rest of us) clearly didn’t have too strong a grasp on the practicalities of the science.
            C) Do we think Camerons’ rumoured juvenile drug use, to be relevant, compared with browns confirmed destruction of the nations economy, not a lot.


          • Dick the Prick says:

            No, I don’t really. As long as they still don’t and having being a drugs worker for over 6 years I can spot a junkie from 100 metres.

            Coke is addictive but you’ve got to want it. Smack and crack are the ones that almost immediately destroy lives.


          • concrete pump says:

            At last, someone being realistic about recreational drugs.

            Thanks Dick.


          • Tell the truth says:

            Smack, crack and crystal meths – killers. Shout that truth from the rooftops first and then add realistic warnings on other drugs if you want your children to believe and to heed you.


        • 39
          the cowardly TaT who dare not squeak his name says:


          you couldn’t make this shit up that’s for sure
          great stuff
          absolutely shameless hypocrisy

          as to the councilwonk, amusing if not quite rotten boroughs type corruption
          no doubt there are hundreds of councilwonks who could also be outed popb**ch style


        • 241
          Anonymous says:

          They’re never going to tar Gordon and Harriet with the sane brush, though are they?


      • 37
        Archie says:

        That fucker’s far too fat to have a serious toot habit!


      • 44
        Grumpy Old Man says:

        There’s not a man reading this blog who didn’t experiment with recreational chemicals in their young and reckless past. Try as they might, snivelling Labour hoons have not been able to come up with stories of current misbehaviour – such as “Toilets” cunning plan to trap GO with a fake waiter and a glass of Lager-and-orange-juice at the Autumn conference. Your man was caught snot-nosed at a public Liebour event, and if Liebour are reduced to getting money from a Scot, you’re really up agin it. Now toddle off back to drone control and reprt, “mission failed”.


        • 73
          60's student says:

          speak for fuckin’ self, GOM.


        • 89
          Sue Denim says:

          Speak for yourself. I never did.


        • 90
          Beer boy says:

          Not this guy, matey. Nothing stronger than Newcastle Brown and Old Holborn ‘baccy. I’ve never done drugs.


        • 99
          The Dirty Rat says:

          Don’t include me in that statement unless you include a pint of best.


        • 116
          The Alternative Snorting Powder says:

          I liked Sherbert Dip, does that count?


        • 140
          Tom Logan, Institute for Studies says:

          I have never experimented with recreational chemicals, that, sir, is a slanderous lie!

          I have imbibed them as they where meeant to be imbibed to ensure maximum narcotic effect.

          Experiment with drugs? they are too expensive for that. You wont find me dropping an acid tab into the goldfish bowl ‘just to see what happens’ or boiling away a gram of speed over a bunsen burner. Experiments are for people in lab coats, real men just take their drugs.


        • 141
          The class of ' 68 says:

          Personally I just fucked the women undergrads and had the occasional pint of lager and vimto !!


        • 199
          Scott says:

          me neither. G.O.M go and have another joint, it will make you feel better.


        • 488
          Anonymous says:

          I never took drugs, you fucking bell end – not even a tug of ‘nabis. Don’t assume everyone’s the same.


      • 46
        Just Get On With It says:

        Big difference between snorting something 20 odd years ago in College and last night out of a hookers belly button.


    • 56
      Jock Mac Scrotum says:

      Stress and exhaustion in such a high profile weegie job is not to be snorted at I’ll have yoos know.


    • 125
      Osama the Nazarene says:

      HIGH flyer eh!


    • 274
      stilyagi_air_corps says:

      That’s what I love about your blog, Guido = your innate ssssense of sssssubtle innuendo.


      Err, what was I saying?


    • 483
      Gordoom cooks the books says:

      Are we all sure it`s milk was Lord Mandybum about? ooh you are awfull


    • 490
      jo public says:

      thats really a story not to be sniffed at


  3. 3
    David Cameron says:

    I was at my local garden centre today, and saw a sign saying 80% off garden gates.
    It sounded too good to be true. I looked closely.
    Where’s the catch?


  4. 6
    AndyinBrum says:

    Omnishambles? Are you a reader of Mr Fawkes?


  5. 7
    The puppet master says:

    She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie; cocaine.


    She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie; cocaine.



  6. 8
    Martin Day says:


    The Conservative Party will not have to forfeit £5.1m in donations from a firm belonging to its deputy chairman Lord Ashcroft, the BBC understands.

    The Electoral Commission has ruled that the donations by Bearwood Corporate Services are “legal and permissible”, after an 18 month probe.

    Firms must be “carrying on business in the UK” to be allowed to donate money to British political parties.

    The donations probe is separate to the row over Lord Ashcroft’s tax status.


    • 13
      righty right wing (mrs) says:

      “the BBC understands”

      I see.


      • 32
        Grammar School Boy says:

        …the BBC understands…usually means we nabbed it from SKY.


        • 51

          Shocking. £3.2 billion in telly tax and they only ‘understand’
          Send someone along in a gold taxi and find out.


          • In other news, the BBC understands that it will not have to cut its cloth according to its means providing that NuLiebour are reelected.

            Free propaganda and rent boys ‘n’ coke all round!


          • Mr Ned says:

            “the BBC understands…” = “The BBC very fucking reluctantly and under extreme duress has to finally acknowledge and accept the truth that…”

            So it took 18 months to finally establish that no laws, or rules, or guidelines were broken.. The BBC must be pissed off about that!

            Can we focus on the other nom-doms in labour now that there is nothing to see here in Lord Ashcroft’s conduct? Can the BBC bitch and moan that Lord Paul has cost the British tax payer hundreds of thousands of pounds, in spite of not paying a PENNY of tax on HIS foriegn earnings here? Whereas Lord Ashcroft never claimed one penny?

            Or are the BBC now going to throw out the baby with the bathwater and refuse to cover ALL nom-dom stories?


        • 80
          A fat expense-fiddling arsehole Labour MP (while stubbing out his fag in one of the Commons bars) says:

          …the BBC understands…usually means that the BBC is admitting defeat on one story and have to find another smear story.


      • 78
        South of the M4 says:

        The BBC does not need to ‘ understand ‘. It just needs to report.


    • 65
      Australian says:

      Poor little Martin. He sounds a bit upset.


    • 112
      More Tories Please says:

      Whitewash? Are you saying that The Electoral Commission is biased? Not sure that is a policy the Labour Party would want to follow too closely.


      • 231
        bandersnatch says:

        The Electoral Commission are an inefficent, arrogant quango. To illustrate how much so… Recently I got sent (to a strange corrupted version of a name a bit like mine) a rude and bullying letter with several forms and an instruction to fill in one, and send it to my ‘new’ electoral officer ‘because you have recently moved house’, or I would lose my vote in the upcoming General Election. ‘Even if you have not moved house you may still lose you vote’, it said. I knew it was carp, but it was nasty, officious and totally mendacious carp. We have lived here, in this house, in this decent and competent local authority area, for 35 years and we always get sent a postal vote.

        By the next post my better half got a similarly smelly letter based on similarly false information, this time addressd to ‘The Occupier’. Another bunch of forms included there. You could get postal votes if required. After complaining to the Electoral Commission, I got told they get their information about addresses of house movers from Experian, which I discovered, is a credit agency! A plague on both their houses! I’ve never been a customer of theirs… and my credit rating is blameless anyway. :-D

        We are paying at two removes for Experian to trawl about for information on us, supposedly in the public domain, just this side of illegality under the Data Protection Act, marry it up and sell it on… and it’s incorrect anyway!

        Also, just as bad… Aren’t The Electoral Commission supposed to be the independent watchdog charged with rooting out electoral fraud… esp postal vote fraud?… There they are sending out great bunches of ‘claim a vote’ forms to people who don’t need or merit them.

        Accordingly, why should I believe anything they serve us up about Ashcroft’s business? They are a shoddy outfit.


        • 277
          Number 7 says:

          By the sound of it, your vote has already been cast (by a Liebore Activist).


          • bandersnatch says:

            No way Jose! In true Meldrewista style, I rang our delightful registrar about all my not so minor problem, and we are not the only home in the area to be deluged with their carp. The Keeper of the Rolls in this little Independent Republic knows his onions, his Electoral Roll, and his Quangocarp.


        • 361
          Que? says:

          “After complaining to the Electoral Commission, I got told they get their information about addresses of house movers from Experian, which I discovered, is a credit agency!”

          Hmmm, Experian provide the information used by the Conservative’s Merlin database which they use to target potential floating voters. I wonder if that is why the Tories are doing so badly in the polls?


        • 396
          Engineer says:

          On the subject of Experian.

          Some years ago, I had cause to sell a small packet of shares, just a few hundred pounds worth. I rang the stockbroking arm of my bank (with whom I’d had accounts for over twenty years) who said sure, but we’ll have to do an identity check first. No problem, I said. We’ll just look it up with Experian, they said. Whatever, I said – never having heard of Experian then. Oh dear, it’s coming back with nothing, they said, so we can’t execute your order. What do you mean, nothing? said I. They can’t confirm your identity, said the bank. Gimme their phone number, said I.

          To cut a long story short, because I’d paid off my mortgage and didn’t operate a credit card at the time, Experian refused to acknowledge that I existed, even though I’d been on the electoral role at the same address for fifteen years. On the phone they were arrogant, and in subsequent correspondence, utterly dismissive. They kept banging on about credit rating – and totally ignored the question of why they would not confirm the identity of a blameless member of the public.

          Experian are hoons – satan’s spawn, vile arrogant filth with far too much access to personal data and control over other people’s lives.


          • I am a non-person says:

            Correct. They can only monitor current and recent debtors and have no idea of the world outside credit. My last ‘credit’ was more than twenty years ago. Found it a pain doing the paper work and got onto debit card as soon as possible.

            They are utterly flawed.

            Checked my credit rating with them on the internet.

            No debt, you don’t exist.


    • 113
      This does not mean the pound here at home in your pocket has been devalued says:

      Who the fuck cares about Ashcroft apart from the Westminster Villagers and the BBC ? The electorate certainly don’t I would suggest.In the “REAL WORLD” they have more pressing concerns of the which the following are but a few

      Firms are closing or down-sizing(the latest in Loughborough which may be Labour but extremely vulnerable to Conservatives whom used to represent it..only perhaps the University students keeping Labour in power there(with little chance of getting a job on graduating under Labour so who knows if they will continue to support them ?) certainly not the surrounding areas such as Charnwood,Swithland etc)…thousands of the unemployed cannot get jobs and graduates are being used as unpaid tea-boys.Meanwhile the sterling and the bonds market is fearful of McChump getting re-elected. They should be !!!–making-pay-privilege.html


    • 131
      Osama the Nazarene says:

      Move on, move on nothing here to see! Ashcroft’s donations are as legal as Pauls! You’re simply flogging a dead horse. Permanent resident, long term resident who cares!

      What are you going to do about the debt THAT IS IMPORTANT you bunch of incompetent bankers!


    • 165
      Laud Pool says:

      Im hoping Gordon can stall the FOI request about me as child labour money finding its way into his coffers will not look too good.


  7. 11
    Bong, Bong, Bong, says:

    Did Mandy give him a ‘facial’


  8. 12
    righty right wing (mrs) says:

    They should really chop out a few lines quick to quell the rumours.

    The poor headlines are racking up in neat little rows now.

    Septum twitching at the prospect of further details to follow, perchance?

    The bloke looks like two dinners Watson – another obese Charlie.


  9. 14
    School for Scoundrels says:

    He is still quite porky, given all the er.. Stress he has had….


  10. 16
    Eileen Critchley says:

    Maybe he’s been chasing a dragoon.


    • 155
      no smear too small says:

      a gay hussar surely?


    • 233
      Anonymous says:

      I thought that sort of thing had died out in Victorian times in the guards, mind there was a bit of scandle in the early 70’s any one remember the scit by Monty Python team? it raised a few hackles.


  11. 18
    Not a rumour, The BBC says:

    Council planned Purcell ‘chemical dependency’ statement


  12. 19
    Moley says:

    Sorry to go completely off topic.

    There is widespread concern that cocaine use is out of control; I saw a number of articles but cannot remember where.

    This is a drug that is rotting our society because it is considered as almost “de rigeur” by the rich and famous. It is addictive and it affects the judgement of the user, making them unjustifiably superconfident in their own judgement and abilities.

    The illegal production, distribution and sale of cocaine is responsible for a huge proportion of our crime and funds terrorism.

    The abuse of cocaine is more than likely responsible for some, (if not all) risk taking and errors of judgement in the financial sector.

    Its use is common in the BBC and there are many who suspect that its abuse is central to “edgy comedy” and the errors of judgement that led to the Jonathan Ross affair.

    It is time for the State to set an example and mandate compulsory drug testing in all public sector employers and in critical industries such as finance and transport.

    We cannot go on like this.


    • 45
      Moley says:

      I know that Labour spinmeisters like to suggest that the Tory party is filled with politicians who do or did abuse cocaine.

      Let’s have a private members bill to test parliament for cocaine abuse.

      It would be extremely revealing to see how MPs voted.

      I am sure that testing parliament would reveal as many (if not more) surprises on the Government benches than the opposition.

      Why is Government so overconfident in its abilities, and so incompetent?


      • 86
        trisha says:

        problem is moley, cocaine cannot be detected after 24 hours by basic urine/blood testing. a problem i came acrss personally when trying to deal with this destructive drug when it blighted my family.


        • 122
          Dick the Prick says:

          Beat me to it. Pot stays in your system for 28 days!! The best drug by a country mile and random drugs tests can wreck your career. Plus and this is a kicker, they can detect in your hair too so by being a long haired hippy you get doubly screwed. Hmm….


      • 166
        Susie says:

        I can think of at least two prominent Labourites (initials TB and AC) who display and have displayed all the attributes of cocaine mania — the manic/depressive behaviour, the recklessness, the self-belief despite all the evidence, the callous disregard for others (Dr. Kelly).

        Hair samples please?


        • 192
          Moley says:

          I am currently reading “The End of the Party” (highly recommended), and what I have read about TB and the Iraq war set me thinking along the same lines. (No pun intended)


          • bandersnatch says:

            I shall order it from Amazon, Moley. I’ve been reading the extracts in the newspapers. I bought ‘Servants of the People’ which was also… illuminating.


    • 48
      the puppett master says:

      You after a job in the mandetary drug testing soon to be, industry then ?
      Just a thought.


      • 71
        Moley says:


        Though I would be up for a job to bring back decency, honesty, truthfulness, self restraint, and competence into all areas of public life.


        • 136

          Drug tests for all arent’ the way to go Moley. I’m Mr Clean these days, but I did a fair old bit in my yoof, and know plenty of people who still partake. It’s *competancy* and *honesty* we need in public life.

          I quite agree that coke is a shitty, corrupting drug – and most of the people being corrupted by it aren’t aware of the dulling, destructive nature of the deal. But intrustion into personal life to that degree isn’t warranted. What would come next? Making sure all MPs were in bed by 11? Daily booze limits? Nah. Wrong way to go.

          And as others have suggested, toot is *at least* as damaging in the media as anywhere else. I’d add another line (sorry) too – education. Seems to be a LOT of charlie in the teaching “profession”.

          Maybe it’s easy for them to score….


    • 204
      Nick2 says:

      Sorry – I disagree. Every employer I have worked for in the UK had a ‘drug abuse’ policy (basically, if they have suspicions then they’ll test you and if positive your career is over).

      Compare this with the US where random drug/alcohol testing by employers is far more prevalent. And they’re not looking for concentrations consistent with regular use – just exposure. I’ve even heard of smoking (even in private, at home) being grounds for dismissal under some US employment contracts.

      It takes some stretch of the imagination to think of a more repressive policy – especially as once the principle is set by testing for cocaine then it’s just a matter of time before it can encompass anything that remains in the human body.


      • 238
        Moley says:

        I agree with a lot of what you say.

        I have a thirteen yo daughter; my aim in bringing her up is not to impose discipline, but to teach self discipline. (With very variable success).

        I guess that the public sector is far more lax on drugs than the private sector.

        We had an “office alcoholic” when I was in the civil service and no one did a thing about it, despite the fact that he was sometimes drunk and incapable during working hours.

        We need a change of culture, not repressive and intrusive testing


    • 225
      Gordon McWhiteStuff says:

      Absolutely right, especially with regard to decision making. It’s users will swear blind that it does not affect their work, but it does. People that take this stuff are not equipped to make decisions. Even doctors are using cocaine.

      These past 13 years will be remembered as an era when there was enough cash and enough movement in the house prices and enough shady deals that these incompetent little shitheads were able to make vast amounts of money to buy their Ferraris and snort their cocaine and ruin the economy. Basically we saw assholes in action.

      Coke users are usually the most disgusting people in the world exhibiting the most deranged body language exemplifying the most twisted desires and the most worthless value systems. All while snorting cocaine.

      Not only is coke a wretched drug, it turns the user into a complete asshole. Just an observation.


      • 248
        concrete pump says:

        Id hate to meet the coke users you’ve met. All the ones i know have good jobs, (which they are very good at), healthy kids, friends and get on in society very well.

        It is very, very simple when it comes to drugs, and that includes alchohol…….There are people who can………and there are people who shouldn’t.

        Unfortunately, it’s always the people who shouldn’t, who think they can.

        And it is these people who you are writing about, G Mc WS.


        • 287
          Dick the Prick says:

          Moderation is the key to it all. Just bloody moderation and education. Don’t get fucked during the week, don’t increase your dose, don’t take it on your own and be honest with yourself – if you want something too much then the chances are you should sack it off for a bit.


    • 304
      The Fallen Angel says:

      Go for it….I’ll sign up to mandatory drug testing purely to see the response on those who (1) don’t (2) fail.

      I’ll love to see the aftermath!!! The country will be metaphorically decapitated in so many walks of life….


    • 369
      Dave "sniff" Cameron says:

      When we win the election Gideon “George” Osborne will be put in charge of all trade agreements with Columbia.


  13. 21
    Tory Dan says:

    How the frilly heck is he going to invoke Article 8, I would like to see that stand up in Court.


  14. 22
    A Scientist says:

    Look, David Cameron refuses to answer this point but we can clear up this whole ‘did Dave and Gideon ever take cocaine?’ question quite easily.
    All we have to do is take a strand of hair from them and analyze it.
    Hair retains the chemicals contained withing cocaine forever.
    So if anyone manages to get hold of a hairbrush the drug user suspects have used or if Dave and Gideon shed a strand of hair it can be tested and we can scientifically tell whether either of them has ever taken cocaine.
    Problem solved.


    • 35

      We’ll need to get a move on. Dave is going bald


    • 47
      AC1 says:

      “A fake scientist”

      Hair grows. Maybe you should stick to getting grants for “climate change”?


      • 126
        Dick the Prick says:

        A completely fake scientist. There are tests which can determine drug use but they are incredibly invasive and hurt like hell plus, you utter twat, your entire body regenerates after 7 years so if the lads were snorting at university even the horrible test won’t work. Penis.


    • 54
      concrete pump says:

      Does it fucking matter?

      If i knew for a fact that Dave and George spent some of their youth getting utterly fucking mullered on class ‘A’s, i would have a much healthier respect for them.


      • 213
        Peter Grimes says:


        But not half as much respect as one would have if they were still doing lines (no, not the written sort!).


    • 55
      anon, anon, anon..... says:

      Are You a climare change “Scientist” ? Coke only shows in hair ’till it grows out!


    • 84
      Clarence says:

      “Look, David Cameron refuses to answer this point but we can clear up this whole ‘did Dave and Gideon ever take cocaine?’ question quite easily.

      All we have to do is take a strand of hair from them and analyze it”

      Good idea.

      Initially, Osborne and Cameron will have to complete the test on a voluntary basis, but if they refuse, send the police around and force them to do it. If they still refuse to show their papieren and abide by der law, lock zem up in a gulag. It is ze right thing do do.

      Then, introduce legislation to make drug tests optional for everyone except Party members, but make it clear that if people refuse to abide by the law, citizens will be denied hospital treatment by the Fatherland and will have their assets confiscated.

      I don’t think this goes far enough, though. The state should have to right to take DNA samples from people’s bottoms in order to monitor who has had anal sex and with whom. This is a public health issue and it is in the public interest to monitor anal behaviour.


      • 130
        Mandy says:

        I don’t like the bottoms and anal sex bit but otherwise OK.


        • 173
          jgm2 says:

          Don’t worry Mandy. Didn’t you read the detail? Party members will be excluded.

          As you’re now on the inside. After being on the outside. And then on the inside. And before that on the outside. And then on the inside prior to being on the outside. You should be safe.

          For now.

          But all this in-out will have to stop. Just stay in in future.


      • 152
        Lord G says:

        Finally a voice of reason. I’m voting for you Clarence.


    • 169
      Laud Pool says:

      Maybe Steven Purcell could start the ball rolling with regards to the Grampian marching powder.


    • 227
      Sir William Waad says:

      I’m sorry to say that I found my son, Young William, taking drugs – some of my best stuff.


      • 267
        bandersnatch says:

        Glad to see you’ve lightened things up Billy Baad.

        I was much more bothered about TB’s definite galloping luvva gaaard religiosity and self-righteousness, and his unshakeable self belief because of it… than any other possible, rumoured er… habit, concerning though that would be.

        I think we should draw a veil over politician’s juvenile trangressions and not keep raking up youthful white powder allegations… In government and on the old Columbian Marching Powder would be a totally different and serious matter.


    • 253
      anon says:

      What if you’re bald?


    • 262
      DNTT says:

      Quick! Move the goalposts!
      The tree-ring data doesn’t tally with the thermometer readings!
      Smear and robustly oppress any opposing dialogue!

      Coke shmoke.

      Fuck the charlie.
      Bring me the head of the gobshite that fiddled while Brittania burned.
      Bring me the heads of all the idle, troughing fuckers that did not oppose this shower of incompetent bastards.


  15. 23
    Damian McBride aka BULLY For You says:

    Give me that Peter Watson’s number. Looks like he can use BULLY For You .


  16. 25
    concrete pump says:

    “Has he blown his career? Who nose?”

    Was that error some sort of cocaine joke?

    Or did you fuck up, i need to know, cos i’m a bit thick.


  17. 26
    davemcwish says:

    has he talked to Frank yet ?


  18. 27
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    How relieved Tally Ho Cast Iron must be that all the rumours regarding his coke use is in the past and not being dragged up again each time something like this happens.


  19. 28
    Damian McBride aka BULLY For You says:

    Give me that Peter Watson’s number.

    Looks like he can use BULLY For You .

    My usual generous introduction fee applies.


  20. 31
    Lord Palmerston says:

    On the topic of AstraZeneca, the jobs are going in Loughborough.

    Gordon Brown visited Loughborough last year where he said that Loughborough University was a good example of how hi-tech research can drive on business and take the country out of the credit crunch.

    Whilst in Loughborough, Gordon Brown also launched Labour’s New Industry, New Jobs policy.

    More information here:

    And here:


    • 123
      Swithland Woods says:

      Loughborough is expected to return to being Conservative at the election


      • 180
        Ali Barber and his 40 postal thieves says:

        Not if we have anything to do with it!


      • 187
        old john says:

        as someone bought up on swithland lane the whole area was years ago so not before time.


        • 254
          Loughborough Old Boy says:

          Stephen Dorrel was MP for Loughborough during the 90’s.

          But Labour have fucked about with the boundaries and created 3 Labour MPs to one Tory.

          A future Fair For All My Arse!


    • 129
      mondeoman says:

      Future jobs Mr Brown!


    • 390

      AstraZennica, for a moment I thought you said Astraport, which of course, is an entirely legal company and has nothing whatsoever to do with buying marginal seats at the next election, honest


  21. 33
    Pablo Escobar says:

    My boys are watching this thread


  22. 34
    Anonymous says:

    It is at times like this that I wonder whether GF is a Labour fifth columnist.


  23. 36
    Alky Liver says:

    Cocaine is dangerous. Purcell would have been safer doing ecstasy and a bit of blow in moderation.


    • 408
      stilyagi_air_corps says:

      Nah. Smack cut with barbs, and a Wray & Nephew chaser. Stress problem solved permanently.


  24. 38
    Captain Black says:

    When the BBC reported snowfall in Scotland I’d assumed the wintry variety.


  25. 43
    obangobang says:

    We never used to get snow in Glasgow.


    • 57
      jgm2 says:

      He’s just a champagne socialist. The rest of Scotland is sucking on Buckfast before moving seamlessly to heroin but he has to go all aristocratic.

      Vote Labour – so that thick c*nts can afford rich people’s drugs too.


  26. 49
    B£iar says:

    Talking of scum-sucking bastards from the sewer:

    “Tony Blair’s memoirs to be published in September” :

    The war criminal mass murderer is calling his lying shite, “The Journey”. It should be called, “£100 million from jews straight in my pocket for slaughtering hundreds of thousands of Muslims, and realising the ‘protocols of the elders of zion’ in Britain”.

    Evil fucking Hunt. It’s galling that the filthy slag he’s married to, and his pig-faced daughter and trash snorting sons, will all be sucking maximum gravy for life, because American Nazi filth will lap up Blair’s lying shit, and hand over $$$$$$$$s.


  27. 50
    jack straw land says:

    fat cnut


  28. 53
    P Im Wright says:

    Will the Curse of Jonah travel to Dundee East and scupper Katrina Murray (Lab).

    Steve Purcell should know.


    • 74
      jgm2 says:

      The people of Dundee are Stepford voters.

      Did you know that Aberdeen is only the centre of UK oil production because the in-bred, thousand year Reich of Labour idiocy in Dundee over-played their hand when the oil-cos were looking where to base themselves?

      Look at a map. Dundee is much closer to Glasgow and Edinburgh and all existing transport links. It was a much more natural place to base all the North Sea oil infrastructure and support. Do you know why they didn’t? Because the Labour council saw this as yet another opportunity for mass kick-backs, contracts for their brothers building firms etc etc and kept presenting BP with longer and longer lists of outrageous claims for the privilege of bringing untold wealth and prosperity to the shit-hole that is Dundee.

      Aberdeen council just went to Dundee and said. ‘Please come’.

      With the result that the people of Aberdeen have been rich beyond their wildest dreams for the past 40 years whereas the Dundee jackasses have been piss-poor. Still hasn’t stopped them voting Labour though.

      That jackass off Celebrity Big Brother was their MP for a while too.

      What a city full of imbeciles eh?

      Labour could nuke ‘em and the survivors would still vote Labour. Economically that’s pretty much what did happen.


      • 93
        Captain Scott says:

        The decline and fall;

        Broughty Ferry by Dundee:before becoming home to 19th century jute barons who had their factories in Dundee. At this time it was known as the ‘richest square mile in Europe’


      • 100
        dundee cake and eat it says:

        Dundee council is run by the SNP and most of the MSPs’ are SNP so maybe they have seen the light.
        The closed shop was still union policy in Dundee long after Foot was told to GTF . That’s why Ford changed their mind about building the new car factory there and why NCR wouldn’t employ you unless you filled in the union forms at the interview stage.


        • 119
          jgm2 says:

          NCR – is that the NCR with all the big empty office buildings lining the A90 bypass?

          Oh, how Dundee could have used all that oil money.

          Thatch closes a few uneconomic pits and Scotland has never forgiven the Tories. Their councils’ are run by corrupt, incompetent Labour arseholes without one iota of integrity and yet they’ll re-elect ‘em again and again and again.

          Lunatics. Self-harming lunatics.


          • Dundonian says:

            Yeah, but therz no poll tax now


          • dundee cake says:

            Yeah most of the NCR jobs finally went abroad. A few top engineers left I think.
            I preferred the poll tax. My first council tax bill was double what I paid in poll tax.


      • 257
        Four-eyed English Genius says:

        But they do make exceedingly nice cake!


  29. 58
    Rickytshirt says:

    There’s snow way this snort of behaviour that should be acceptable in a major political party in the UK. These kind of people should be sniffed out


  30. 60
    Revised Spin says:

    People with £400 per week sugary doughnut habits need our compassion.


  31. 62
    Snow White says:

    Alcohol is a problem. It is the gateway drug.


  32. 64
    Postal Vote says:

    I sniff dont understand sniff where you sniff get that impression from sniff.

    Labour sniff does not at all sniff get startingly high sniff postal votes sniff.


  33. 70
    gildedtumbril says:

    That fellow looks like another fat, odious porker out of the Pickles mould.The misspelling intentional.Never mind, we can take heart that a great many ‘worthy’arsewipes and high-flying noseflute players will be discarded in the impending holocaust of political musical chairs.
    Who could forget the delight when the odious and priceless Shirley Williams got the boot and then was ‘parachuted ‘ but rejected again?I really enjoyed that event. I expect many more.
    As for Michael Fart…I remember one night on BBC news Jan Leeming said,” Michael Far…Foot said today…” At that moment what I had been telling folk for years was clinched. The media, off air, referred to him as Michael Fart.
    Good riddance.


  34. 72
    The IMF is coming says:

    Milk Marketing Board unveil new face for their successful poster campaign


  35. 75
    Jan says:

    O/T The Daily Politics.F…..g Andrew Neil really putting the boot into Ken Clarke with the help of Georgie Porgie Monbiot.Lord Ashcroft’s tax status still rumbling on.Also Neil referring to ‘young call-me-Dave’.Must have got that from Hatty yesterday.Neil now saying that Conservatives ‘haven’t ever run a whelk stall’. This t………r should be sacked after the next GE.I don’t remember him giving a very young inexperienced Brown and Blair the same hard time.Disgusting…I detest this man.


  36. 77
    Bong, Bong, Bong, says:


    A ‘British’ boy has gone missing in Pakistan where he was on ‘holiday’


  37. 85
    sniff says:

    That Danniella Westbrook slag from the fucking diarrhoea on the jew-controlled BBC, Eastenders, had her proz nose eaten away by fucking drugs:

    How come Purcell is such a big pig? You would think he would be thin like the shit junkie Amy Winehouse, or the trash scum junkie, Peter Doherty. The fucker still has his snout in tact.


  38. 87

    Alwight, can someone show me the causal fucking link?


  39. 88
    The Last Words Of Wisdom From The Great Thick As Thieves says:

    This thread is fucking dire and we need something at this point to make it more interesting and worth reading.
    And so, as everyone else is copying his comments, why shouldn’t I?
    Here, for all of his fans, is the last post that thick as thieves ever made: cherish it, for it is his grand farewell and marks the end of the golden age of blogging:

    dear fans,
    thankyou for following my posts so closely and for listing the content of my comments so concisely.
    in the future, students of politics will study the pages of this place and discuss if and how this blog influenced the outcome of the 2010 General Election which will be a hung parliament and Esther Rantzen will win Luton South.
    but in a way you are right. I have commented here for some time now and have covered most aspects of British politics and policy and the danger of repetition is a dangerous and avoidable one and I have other matters I wish to concentrate on in my life.
    and so I depart and wish the reader well. it has been a blast motherfuckers.
    goodbye Guido.
    best regards,
    thick as thieves
    this really is the final post our hero will make and this place will be lesser for TaT’s departure.
    Fans may make their tributes now; spastics can snipe to their hearts’ content for their sniping merely emphasises how crippled they are and how great the heroic thick as thieves is.
    end of communication.


    • 487
      the cowardly druggie tat who dare not squeak his name says:

      so why are you still here thick as thieves?

      apart from being a shameless liar of course

      and you forgot the bits where you call everyone on this blog and Guido cripples, spastics, fuckwits, shils etcetera.

      I’ll be sure to remind you of some even better ones since you like it


  40. 91
    Labrats says:

    New Labour are hypocrites. I hope this man is hounded to death by government and media. He does not deserve proper help and support. Drugs are evil.


  41. 94
    Section D Notice says:



  42. 95
    Angry At Brown says:

    Those intellectual heavyweights Victoria Derbyshire and Gobby Logan are still parroting the government line about Ashcroft. What does it take to shut the BBC up? Their editorial line has consistently been pro-labour. In what way is this ‘balanced’ reporting. The BBC should be closed down today!


    • 106
      The IMF is coming says:

      8 answers (plus another 3 or 4 plants) at PMQ’s all managed to mention Ashcroft.

      The story has been going for 10 years so the Medja want blood. There might be a small graze but the UK population don’t care. Move along please


    • 110
      Anonymous says:

      Any mention of Lords Paul and Cohen? No? Why’s that?


    • 137
      mondeoman says:

      Someone must put a stop to this, an unbalanced reporting in the media is a problem, no matter how it is dressed up, this is constant and dangerous ground!


    • 153
      Jobs for the girls says:

      Gobby Logan – an example of a nothing rising to the level of mediocrity that is the BBC.

      Dull,monotonous,thick as s*hit,nothing of any value to anyone.

      Clean out the BBC – bury half of them alive along the Shepherd’s Bush Road.


      • 197
        Ex Smackhead says:

        Bet Gobby has snorted some marching powder while getting a chilli up the arse during her long tenure at al beeba.


      • 220
        Because I'm worth it, licence payers says:

        Gabby swears by killer heels, tinted moisturizer, fun accessories and a good blow-dry. “Bad hair can let even the most expensive outfit down, but if your hair is blow dried you can get ready in 10 minutes,” Gabby says.


  43. 96
    ian e says:

    Not offering us any clues over what this is all about then?


  44. 98
    Martin Day says:

    Meanwhile ….Lord Ashcroft

    Mr Prentice, who waged a long-running campaign to have the peer’s tax status made public, said the Cabinet Office and an appointments watchdog would also be called.

    He wrote on his blog: ”Just back from the Public Administration Select Committee where we agree to do a special one-off inquiry into the Lord Ashcroft affair. It will be on Thursday 18 March.

    ”The issues fall squarely within the Committee’s bailiwick. We keep an eye on the Cabinet Office and the House of Lords Appointments Commission. We shall see what they have to say.

    ”Oh yes… the Committee will invite Lord Ashcroft to come before it.”


    • 108
      The Dirty Rat says:

      Yesterday’s news.
      Look out for the Paul shit about to hit labour’s fan. It will make the HOL look like a farm yard.


    • 186
      Fidel X Penses says:

      Sorry Martin – the story expired this morning. The Coulson story didn’t run and no-one outside Westminster and the media cares about Ashcroft.

      Put your pants back on, go to your handlers and get your next non-story.


      • 323
        How the Mighty Fall says:

        Yeah yeah nobody cares about the Aschroft story old new move along quickly for fucks sake no one cares Aschroft told lies and ripped the taxpayer off for 125 million old news fish and chip wrappings here on order order we know what normal people think and how they feel move along now please please move along and don’t talk about the liar Aschcroft for Christ sake move along!


  45. 101
    Labrats says:

    He should be stoned to death.


  46. 102
    Confucius says:

    Man with marching powder habit and a cold risks blowing his brains out into a hanky.


    • 283
      bandersnatch says:

      Speak, O illustrious one, and tell me something I’ve always wanted to know. What marching-powder-traces-detector-substance is it that if you put it on the shiny top of your bright, white, integrated, low-set, china, bogwater-tank-flushing apparatus that acts like luminol on a bloodstain?


      • 458
        bandersnatch says:

        Wot no reply? I shall just have to sprinkle Vim or Harpic on it and see who starts sneezing come Saturday evening.


  47. 105
    Anonymous says:

    So privacy is important after all? Hasn’t the concept of privacy been airbrushed away over the past few years? Or are only politicians entitled to it?


  48. 107
    fat tits tone says:

    who is that half-wit on Sky talking about LORD Ashcroft?


    • 118
      Ministry of Truth Rebel says:

      Who knows…..let’s face it there are so many on both Sky and BBC it could be anyone


      • 276
        Undecided Voter says:

        Guys, I think the reporting you are talking about is called “losing control of the narrative.”
        While you are here moaning all the time like fishwives, out in the real world the Tories are taking a hell of a beating.
        I suppose you can always console yourselves with your usual mantra of “nobody cares if a millionaire evades tax while they have to sweat their nuts off to make a living.”
        Here in the safe tory womb of GF Tory Land I suppose that is comforting for you.
        It doesn’t win elections though, that’s the only problem.


        • 371
          ian e says:

          Dear Mr Undecided Voter – I understand how hard it is to make up your somewhat limited mind w.r.t who to vote for. Perhaps I can mention Lakshi Mittal and Lord Paul who are NuLabour donors who are in the same position as Ashcroft – utterly terrible the thought of voting for a party which accepts donations from such tax-evaders. Oh yes the LibDims are not exactly innocent in this regard either. Hope this helps your struggle to find the most deserving party to vote for!


  49. 115
    Anonymous says:

    BBC propaganda machine in full flow today.

    It seems that their expert could not blow up a plane.

    Can I point out an huge error in his experiment: THE DOORS ARE OPEN

    Explosives are only effective in enclosed areas and when the air frame is pressurized.

    Look at 24 seconds into the film. What are they trying to do? Have airline profits dropped that much that they need to prove bombs do not work.

    (My hint is to remove the naked scanners! No one is flying any more, and the Cruise companies are laughing)


    • 127
    • 157
      Making waves says:

      Except the cruise liner in the Med that took a full-on hit from a wave that was even greater than Brown’s wave of utter crap spoken every day and actually killed two tourists.


    • 232
      Nick2 says:

      Another example of un-necessary BBC non-news reporting.

      First, as already pointed out, the aircraft cabin was at the same pressure as the air surrounding it.

      Second, FAR more impressive footage of a 747 & a Tri-Star (closed up, pressure difference inside similar to normally pressurised cabin at 30,000 feet) has been on YouTube for at least a year.

      So it wasn’t new, it wasn’t news & it wasn’t scientific. Business as normal at the BBC then…


      • 252
        jgm2 says:

        That explosion will be caused by a fair bit more than whatever that chap had strapped to his leg.


    • 261
      .243 Win says:

      That’s more than just crap reporting.

      (1) Aircraft skin has been reinforced by using blanking plates instead of real windows (even then one looks like it’s come adrift…)
      (2) “Bomb” is placed so that terrorist/dummy shields aircraft skin from blast (chances are he would have been trying to use his body to “shape” the charge)
      (3) Bomb is detonated alongside strongest part of aircraft – the wing root
      (4) Aircraft on ground and therefore not not subject to normal in-flight stresses or loadings from full/representative passenger distribution

      Pretty slack as trials go.


  50. 117
    Labrats says:

    He should be castrated.


  51. 121

    looks a bit too chubby to be a cokehead.


  52. 134
    Labrats says:

    He should be bullied to death.


  53. 135
    Butler to Lord Fondlebum says:

    His Lordship would like it known that he doesn’t see anything wrong with a lovely lad like Steven Purcell relaxing with the occasional line or two! Anyway it’s all Lord Asahcroft’s fault!


  54. 142
    Michael Six Foot Under says:

    I got to hand it to Guido he always tells corkers.


  55. 143
    Bong, Bong, Bong, says:

    Where is the ‘British’ boy who has gone missing?


  56. 144
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Don’t worry about coke.

    ‘Government health crackdown on British fish and chips’


  57. 145
    When thicko Harman comes to town. says:

    Just watched a massive car crash – yesterday’s PMQ’s starring a woman who simply cannot string a sentence together.

    That this THING,this utter nonentity Harthing can ever be allowed near Parliament,let alone her constituents (who of course do not have the benefit of stab-proof vests) amazes me.

    Her performance yesterday was an insult to the British people – the country is fast becoming a laughing stock when these idiots stand up and try to bluff their way through 30 minutes of so called questions for the govt.

    Harriet Harman is so out of her depth that the Mariana Trench in the Pacific Ocean is but a few feet deep in comparison.


  58. 147
    Michael Six Foot Under says:

    I tried sniffing coke once but the ice cubes got stuck up my nostrils.


    • 251
      Dry Martini says:

      I sniffed coke once and talked complete bollox for over 5 hours. Don’t all politicians do the same?


  59. 151
    Disco Biscuit says:

    I understand massive coke use can lead, counter-intuitively, to an insatiable hunger for food. Which might explain why he’s such a fat fucker. Must be all the sugar in it…


  60. 154
    APL says:

    Guido: “Has he blown his career? Who nose? …. What a proper charlie…”

    Oh, your are a wag!


  61. 159
    Get Real says:

    Off topic, but can someone explain how this asphyxiation thing works? Where and when does the orange come into play? Will any citrus fruit suffice? Can anybody give the relative merits of mask vs hood? Has it anything to do with the Indian Rope trick? I’ve read about the strangulated blood flow of hanged people producing erectile phenonema, but that’s the full extent of my knowledge. I’m almost completely in the dark.


    • 162
      The Dirty Rat says:

      Take a word of advice and don’t bother – you can’t beat a straight forward J Arthur.


    • 170
      Odd balls says:

      Bloke next to us did it about 5 years ago.

      His body was being taken out on a “gurney” as my kids walked home from Junior School.

      When the house was sold,they found all sort of hooks on the ceiling – bizarre,I always keep my pots and pans in the drawer in the kitchen – why would anyone want to hang them from the ceiling?


      • 439
        Susie says:

        A bloke who used to get on our train did it too… wife and kids away on holiday, tied himself up and drowned when the cellar flooded. What a prat.


    • 182
      Sir William Waad says:

      I understand that the orange takes away the nasty taste of amyl nitrite, which does something or other that these perverts like.


      • 185
        jgm2 says:

        Amyl Nitrate causes massive heart palpitations and presumably a massive rush of blood elsewhere too.



        • 194
          Bong, Bong, Bong, says:

          Amyl nitrate is a muscle, specifically anal muscle, relaxant.


        • 205
          The Sleeper says:

          Funny that..I used to use Amyl Nitrate as a fuel additive when I was a lad and racing model aircraft….

          It didn’t half increase the engines power output!!!


          • Slippery slope says:

            Amyl nitrite is employed medically to treat heart diseases such as angina and also to treat cyanide poisoning. It is also used as an inhalant drug that induces a brief euphoria state, and when combined with other intoxicated stimulant drugs such as cocaine or ecstasy (see MDMA), the euphoric state intensifies and lasts for several minutes longer. Once some stimulative drugs wear off, a common side-effect is a period of depression or anxiety, colloquially called a “come down”; amyl nitrite is sometimes used to “come up” again in order to stop the user from feeling lousy. This effect, combined with its dissociative effects, makes it an attractive but risky recreational drug .

            Another common use is as an additive booster propellant for model diesel engines as mentioned by q94


          • sockpuppet #4 says:

            Planes: I thought it was mainly nitromethane. similar stuff though.

            Nitroglycerine has similar effects on heart muscles. Not sure what that would do the plane though


          • albacore says:

            33% paraffin, 33% castor oil, 33% ether, 1% amyl nitrate or nitrite, was the standard mixture, as I recall.
            Happy days!


          • Susie says:

            Do not confuse Amyl NitrAte with Amyl NitrIte..

            One is a stimulant, the other is a diesel engine oxidant.
            I cant recall which is which, though.


          • ah yes. nitrate for planes, nitrites for all sorts of other stuff.
            I never had a bottle of either.

            Oh, and nitromethane is used in glowplug engines.
            Sad git award of the evening to me.


    • 240
      Beautiful Day says:

      If the blood can’t get to the brain it has to go somewhere else.


      • 278
        Get Real says:

        So from the material sourcing aspect – fruit/headgear/hook selection box/rope/pharmaceuticals/ladders/instruction manual – does Tesco’s have a range of kits or is it more of an Amazon/on line purchase?
        Does my local Tech. sorry university. run a three year course yet, and finally, is it strictly a homosexual/bbc activity or can anyone have a go?


  62. 163
    streamfisher says:

    Another prodigy (charlie says).


  63. 164
    Ex Smackhead says:

    I thought Ketamine and that plant food drug where all the rage these days?


  64. 171
    blob says:

    It’s not just the banks as financial items that are a concern. As employers they are just as bad. I know someone who was made redundant last year from working in IT at RBS. That same person cannot now get a reference from the company she worked for , for years, having now, a year later got another job, because she is not able to give an employment number. She can’t give an employment number now as she hasn’t worked for them for a year!! No one will speak to this person because HR don’t recognize who she is despite being paid a pension by the same bank etc etc. What the fuck are the banks for anymore? Who do they think they are?


  65. 172
    Irene says:

    Your inuendos are brilliant!! spelling errors I think


  66. 174
    Michael Six Foot Under says:

    Is he on first name terms with Kate Moss’s dealer?


  67. 175
    Gordon McWhiteStuff says:

    Lets (sniff) draw a line under all this and start getting on with the jobbie.

    Is that icing sugar under my nose or am I just pleased to see me?


  68. 176
    Bong, Bong, Bong, says:


  69. 179
    Sir William Waad says:

    Hmmm…this story has given me an idea for re-using the old broiler hen-house at the Home Farm. The lighting and temperature control are already in place and we have plenty of fertiliser.


  70. 189
    Morgan Everett says:

    It started in Colombia.


  71. 190
    Albert Hall says:

    Steven Purcell went missing from private clinic
    EXCLUSIVE: Police search after council leader disappeared from Castle Craig hospital


  72. 193
    streamfisher says:

    We are all quite mad here.


    • 260
      Survivor says:

      There were swathes of people who bought into that stuff from the swinging 60’s when the beat generation went viral in middle class student circles…and it hasn’t stopped since.

      A former purveyor of the counter-culture explains his apparent ‘conformity (five bedroom house, swimming pool, triple car garage etc)’ with the throw-away line ‘Look around you, we’ve got everything we wanted’.

      At times, looking around, I am tempted to think he has a point, perhaps


      • 348

        From the greatest generation to the greatest self veneration…

        That generation has stuck the bill for their excess on their own children.


      • 431
        stilyagi_air_corps says:

        As Brian Jones foppishly put it, “drugs aren’t nearly so much fun now all the riff-raff are taking them”


        • 443
          Susie says:

          Someone really must publish a book ‘The Wit and Wisdom of the Stones’.

          My personal favourite was Keef, asked about the death of Diana, “Dunno, never met the chick.”


  73. 195
    Charlie says says:

    Meow yow meow yow meow.
    Charlie says don’t take coke from strangers.


  74. 202

    Fantastic stuff Guido. Keep up the good work. Since your blog came to prominence 18 months ago , with thousands of hits more than other political sites, or so you keep claiming, Tories lead in polls has gone from 29% to 2%!! and thats even before the campaign starts and even more exposure is cast on your friend Cashcrofts activities,”Give us our £127miliom you Belize Bastard” I’m really looking forward to a hung parliament, a LibLab coaltion introducing PR and the closing of the door to power for you and your ilk for many many years. If you still have those “Hang Mandela” they could be worth something on ebay”” you apartheid supporting Hunt


    • 211
      Gordons battered bell end says:

      Great article.Dont mention Lord poole and Indian child labour as its not serious.


      • 324
        How the Mighty Fall says:

        Maybe if GF shut this site down Tory support would go up?
        Worth a try innit? Nothing else is working.


        • 467
          The big D says:

          Sooooo many trolls here. We may have to ask the Monty Python team to do another version of the Spam song replacing Spam with Troll.


  75. 203
    Chewtobacca says:

    He is a skunk


  76. 207
    Gordons battered bell end says:

    The beeb are concerned that an incoming tory government will teach them a lesson by cutting the licence fee to £120.Thats why theyre fighting so hard for Labour as they know its a vote winner.How nice to watch Eastenders and be quids in.


  77. 208
    dr. sipp says:

    he needs diet coke


  78. 209
    Handel_not_Purcell says:

    Wonderful!! Counsellor!!


  79. 212
    That BBC News Transcript in Full says:

    BBC Interviewer: Harriet Harman, welcome to the studio. Please send my love to Jack and the kids.

    HH: Thank you, Kirsty. I shall.

    BBC I: To start. Two plus two – it’s four, isn’t it?

    HH: Five, but thanks to Lord Ashcroft’s money the Tories will cut it to four. Lord Ashcroft should not be allowed to influence maths because he does not pay tax on his earnings. He should resign and the Tories should be banned from contesting the election.

    BBC I: We’ll discuss Lord Paul after the election perhaps but do you think Ashcroft has something to hide and should therefore be executed?

    HH: That’s for the court of public opinion to decide but yes, he should. Lord Ashcroft has serious questions to answer. Did he finance the referee who disallowed Sol Campbell’s goal against Portugal in Euro 2004? Was that Lord Ashcroft on the grassy knoll and if so, did William Hague know? Lord Ashcroft has failed to come clean about his membership of the National Trust and the Tories repeatedly dodge questions about it. Why is this? It’s immoral and we demand answers.

    BBC I: Harriet, darling, thank you.


  80. 214
    Ex Smackhead says:

    I would love to snort blow of a hookers buttocks and then shag her brains out for two hours, if only the JSA wasn’t so low, I could afford this dream.

    Fuck you very much Labour.


  81. 215
    Grrrrrrrrr says:

    OT but is anybody else getting a pop up from IBM when accessing Guido’s site via Firefox?


  82. 223
    The Fourth Reich says:

    Germans Tell Greeks ‘Sell Your islands’

    “Two politicians, both allies of Chancellor Angela Merkel, suggest Greece should sell assets rather than rely on hand-outs from the European Community.

    ‘The Greek state must sell stakes in companies and also assets such as, for example, unpopulated islands,’ said Frank Schaeffler, financial expert of Germany’s Free Democratic Party.

    ‘Those in insolvency have to sell everything they have to pay their creditors,’ said Schlarmann, a senior member of Merkel’s Christian Democratic Party. ‘Greece owns buildings, companies and uninhabited islands, which could all be used for debt redemption.’

    Greek deputy foreign minister Dimitris Droutsas responded by saying that such suggestions were ‘not appropriate at this time.”

    When the Jerries have finished blitzkrieging Greece and turn on us, could we sell Scotland to them?


    • 259
      Mr Plum says:

      How much do we have to pay the germans to take scotland


      • 264
        Immobilienmakler says:

        You’d have to pay them to take Scotland, sorting out the socialist mess that was the GDR was enough…and represents 60% of the German national debt. But they only have a 3.3% deficit and can refinance on more favourable terms., so anything is possible.


    • 271
      Richard Branson says:

      I’ll take two!


    • 289
      Pennyless Paddy says:

      We can sell the Elgin Marbles to China, then lend the money to the Greeks at a good rate to help us pay of our’s.


  83. 230
    Arthur Haynes (Comedian) says:

    Went missing from these sherbet specialists apparently:


    • 275
      Naomi says:

      Sherbet !!


      He looks as thoiught he likes Scottish wine as well…

      But perhaps all these excesses give him “street cred” in sunny Glasgow…

      It really is time to float these people off into the Arctic Ocean…do your stuff SNP please


    • 471
      John McNab & Fish Benjie says:

      Missing in the Borders – not Richard Hanney is it?!

      Perhaps it was Richard Timney – check the DVD outlets in the Kelso area!


  84. 236
    BBC - they get everywhere..... says:

    “A BBC radio producer who secretly filmed himself having sex with five different women has been jailed for eight months”.


  85. 237
    Sir William Waad says:

    So we should look out for inappropriate overconfidence in one’s own ability coupled with mood swings towards depression and paranoia. There’s somebody who fits that description so well but I just remeber his name.


  86. 246
    AndyBurnhamsMedicineShow says:

    There now follows a Government Health Warning


    • 250
      Thats News says:

      A friend of mine shouts when he is on the phone. It’s so bad other people in the office can’t make calls at the same time. He does it because he can’t help it. He is deaf, but doesn’t admit to this.

      Gordon Brown is destroying the economy of the UK due to the fact that he is dense. But doesn’t admit to this.


  87. 249
    comments off says:

    The NHS is paying for all members of staff to see a shrink. Each public service worker employed by the NHS will be entitled to six session totally free of charge.

    Don’t worry, we’re paying!

    Just think of all that money that’s been diverted away from patient care.


  88. 265
    Undecided Voter says:

    How are the polls going for you Tories?
    Not so good, eh?
    Oh well, look on the bright side, you did have a chance of winning the election but then Dave Cameron and Lord Ashcroft went and fucking blew it for you!
    What a pair of dirty fucking rotters.
    Losing the chance of a majority thanks to those two millionaire chancers must really have pissed you guys off.
    You see it’s all about leadership. Good leadership wins elections and dodgy fuckers like Dave lose them.
    Better get David Davis in to head up the Tory party, he is far more honest a character than Dave Cameron who has failed to connect with the voters.
    Mr David would do a fucking sight better than that pair of benefit cheating tax evading wankers you have running the party into the ground at the moment.
    Just a thought.
    Happy to help.


    • 271
      Martin Day says:

      Sod off, I’m the only crap Labour Goebbels on here you turd!


    • 273
      Labour Listing badly says:

      Get stuffed Jonty


      • 281
        Undecided Voter says:

        Well there’s no need to be like that!
        You see that is why the Tories are doing so very badly in the polls, you have no manners and no class and you are just nasty and selfish and that turns the voter off.
        Manners maketh man.
        You will have to learn that the hard way I’m afraid.
        And here at order-order your disgusting selfishness and bad attitude is plain for all to see.
        I am sure Labour list salutes GF, for, with the help of useful idiots like yourself spreading your cancerous bile on his posts, he is doing the Labour party’s work for them.
        Just trying to help.


        • 286
          Undecided Voter says:

          Ps: I’m actually very insecure, hence the pompous lecturing arrogant Labour feel to my posts.

          I don’t get out much.


          • Undecided Voter says:

            You see, originally this site was a very good idea propaganda wise, I’m sure. On paper it must have looked great.
            You know, get all like minded Tories in one place so they can get organised and use modern technology to win power.
            Hasn’t quite worked out like that though, has it?
            The problem isn’t the technology, it is that the content is still the same old nasty Tory commentators that are using that technology, they simply haven’t moved with the times.
            This place has become more and more akin to a serial killers convention where all the Tory scum gets together and pours forth its nasty Tory hate filled negative rancid opinions in one place.
            It’s like a blocked of sewer.
            And it really stinks of shit. And the stench is just unbearable for normal, decent people who want a better future for this country.
            I mean, if you were an undecided voter who visited here and read the sort of nasty comments the Tory supporters post would you vote for such a party?
            Lets’ face it, GF’s blog was a good idea that just didn’t work out.
            That’s all.


          • Naked Gordon says:

            Undecided Voter is our old friend MB! I’d knbow that juvenile smarmy tone anywhere.

            Hows the wanking and shit eating going MB?


          • Undecided Voter says:

            Thanks again for showing people who visit this place what vulgar scum the Tories are.
            You are an excellent example of vulgar Tory scum.


        • 294
          Sir William Waad says:

          I suppose it never occurs to you that there is anyone out here who doesn’t just blindly support one political party or another.


          • Undecided Voter says:

            That is far too rich coming from Tory scum like you, Sir Waad.


          • Sir William Waad says:

            There you go again, making assumptions. Only some of my postal votes go to the Conservative Party. Look old chap, you ought to fight this antithetical “Four legs good, two legs bad” way of looking at other people.


          • Undecided Voter says:

            You must think the reader is as stupid as you Sir Waad.
            Well sir, they are not.


          • Sir William Waad says:

            You must come round for a drink some time.


        • 295
          Anonymous says:



          • Undecided Voter says:

            Yes, you probably are.


          • Don't just stop there fool, throw the kitchen sink at them says:

            fascist, baby eater, tory troll, white demon, zionist jew, hitler henchman etc etc.


          • Undecided Voter says:

            Thank you to the Tory troll above for illustrating my point so well.
            Another serial killers rant from a Conservative party member.
            And you wonder why your polling is dropping off the edge of a cliff?


        • 338
          jgm2 says:

          That’ll be it. GF’s blog is being read by 50,000,000 people and because we’re all so terribly rude about the Maximum Imbecile and his utterly mendacious, incompetent, economy wrecking regime of Labour jackasses they have thought to themselves ‘I say, that’s jolly unfair’ lets just give that incompetent arsehole Brown another five years. After all I’m sure his complete incompetence to date has been only a 13 year ‘blip’.

          Maybe he’ll come over all competent in the next five years.

          Naaah mate. Your answer lies is the 24/7 cheerleading the Maximum Imbecile gets from the BBC.

          It’s hard for the Tories to counter a 3bn a year propaganda organisation like that.


          • Undecide Voter says:

            You miss the point.
            The larger the readership of GF the less people are inclined to vote Tory. That is probably because the Tories who appear here are desperate to be returned to power and desperation is not an attractive trait. Any normal person who visits will probably be disgusted by the vulgar, base and aggressive language that the Tories use in their desperate attempt to get into office.
            Their language is most unbecoming of a party who seeks power and after reading the disgusting content posted here people are less, not more inclined to vote Tory.
            As far as the Conservative party is concerned this place offers them ever diminishing returns.
            Basically this place’s purpose has backfired and blown up in Mr Fawkes’ face.


          • jgm2 says:

            You are seriously deluded if you think more than a few thousand people frequent here. And even more deluded if you think they’re wavering voters one way or the other.

            The answer for Cameron ‘only’ having a 6 point lead lies in the BBC’s 24/7 cheer-leading for the Maximum Imbecile even in the teeth of his atrocious 13-year reign of idiocy.

            If Guido could decide elections he’d be a rich man through selling advertising alone.


          • Grandma says:

            Labour deserves to get in so it can sort out its own mess and the entertainment can continue. LOL


          • jgm2 says:

            It would be highly entertaining grandma if ou were watching this from a country with an adult government. Unfortunately this Labour maladministration is a government of incompetent, infantile jackasses.

            Another 5 years would only see them spending five more years continuing to lie and cover up the failings of the first 13 years. Which is kind of cute in a red-faced five-year old who has been caught out fibbing about breaking a vase but rather more serious when it’s a bunch of Labour jackasses fibbing about bank*upting the UK.


    • 292
      Mr Plum says:

      You sound about as undecided as the bbc


    • 478
      g1lgam3sh says:

      Lord Paul
      3 x Collar Felt, (more to come)
      Squeeker Martin

      Lest We Forget:

      David Kelly


  89. 266
    MI5 says:


    I love your comment that this Zanu Labour scot is a “high fllyer ”

    And the cornflakes under his nose…

    What scum Labour seem to produce

    He must be ther successor to Gorbals Mick…


    • 334
      The PM shouldn't be disturbed but this cunt is says:

      Scum glide to the top in one party states

      Fuck the Scotch


  90. 268
    The IMF is coming says:

    They just won’t let it go, asking people to contact Tory MP’s and PPC’s

    Maybe Labour MP@s PPC’s should be contacted along these line:


  91. 280
    terrace bar frequenter says:

    The drugs in the Purcell story the media company he hired can handle; that was always getting out into the public domain.
    His nocturnal activities as a single gay man having removed himself from the shackles of marriage to a WOMAN were however not as discreet as perhaps they should have been.

    In that scene one keeps interesting company. High profile and very low profile. One key person is not averse to profiteering from the story but the Scottish media will not as yet touch it. I can see why he has the panic lawyer in play.

    Not much support from labour hierarchy; guess they want to see if the newly extruded shit hits the jacuzzi or they can keep trying this “stressed” defence, brought about because he got caught.


    • 284
      A Positive Suggestion says:

      For one who claims to be a terrace bar frequenter you have nothing worthy of note to add to the thread.
      Perhaps you should turn your hearing aid up and stand a bit closer to people of import so you can earwig their conservations more successfully?
      We would all be most grateful.


    • 290
      Shirt lifter says:

      So he’s an arse bandit as well.


  92. 298
    timid british lackeys-pathetic? says:


    read this and weep…….

    its long but has some real gems like creating gender equality in jamaica!


    • 385
      Funding grant junkey says:

      Uphill struggle that one.

      Idea would fund years of studies, jaunts, conferences for an appropriate team of reasearchers from a range of disciplines.

      I’m sure that a case could be made to a funding body with public money to invest.

      Nothing venture, nothing gained as the saying goes.


  93. 299
    Martin Day says:

    Headlines like these give me an orgasm

    Boy am I easy to please

    Tories in disarray as Ashcroft row deepens


    • 312
      The Dirty Rat says:

      Yesterdays news. The new news is the content of from the FOI request on that thieving lying Asian chap Lord Paul.


      • 313
        The Dirty Rat says:

        Guido. Why are posts on Lord Paul modded?


        • 335
          Don't just stop there fool, throw the kitchen sink at them says:

          Cause he is a P*ki


          • jgm2 says:

            Naaah. It’s the name P*ul. The real name of the blog host is verbotten. So (probably) is his surname.


          • FH says:

            All of Labour’s main donors (apart from the unions) are foreigners (mainly Asians and Jews) inc Lakshi Mittal, Lord Paul, and Ronnie Cohen. Labour are a fifth column funded and controlled by aliens hostile to the interests of the British people.

            Whatever happened to Labour’s chief fundraiser Lord Levy BTW?


          • concrete pump says:



        • 419
          lol says:

          He’s Guido’s sugar-daddy


      • 353
        The Dirty Rat says:

        Yesterdays news.
        The new news is the content from the FOI request on that thieving lying Asian chap Lord P**l. The shit is about to hit labour’s fan. The HOL is going to look like a farmyard.
        Let’s see how much air time the BBC give this story.


        • 373
          jgm2 says:

          The BBC, if it gives the story any air-time at all, will ‘contextualise the story by contrasting Lord P*aul with Lord Ashcroft. Thus bringing the two into the frame as opposed to the previous three day party political broadcast by the Labour Party (BBC Chapter) smearing Ashcroft and the Tories.

          It will also draw helpful parallels between the amounts of donations received. Ie Ashcroft donated more so his (non) sin is ‘greater’ than ‘Lord P*uls.

          ‘Neither side comes out of this well but it is Lord Ashcroft who has donated more – Lord Mandelson claims this money has been used to buy marginal consituencies’. [subtext – hello marginal voters – how does it feel to be bought by a non-dom Tory toff – vote Labour to teach Ashcroft a lesson].

          Ie an uncountered soundbite from Mandelson will be repeated verbatim and no competing view on Lord P*ul will be aired at all.

          Etc etc.

          The BBC. Helping you to make an unbiased, informed decision before you vote.


          • David Cameron says:

            I have decided not to win this election, George & I will really enjoy watching Brown explaining streets full of rioting ex-public sector unemployed.

            We can’t wait to see Brown turf a million homeowners out on the streets by doubling their mortgage repayments.

            Better still, just wait till our credit rating is dropped and our defecit hits 400 billion next year.

            Losing the election is the right thing to do trust me.


          • Got a point there Dave. says:

            I actually think you may right.

            Watching Labour and the unions rip each other to shreds in a ghastly dance of death may be the better option.


          • The BBC making the news for Britain - TO-DAY says:

            The BBC is in a state of shock…..they confidently expected the Electoral Commission has exonerated Ashcroft… “But he’s he’s A TORY, for God’s Sake !!!!” expostulates an incredulous BBC commentator.

            Menawhile BBC schedulers are in turmoil as they have to hastly remove Newsnight Special Ashcroft Exposee from their programme schedules to be replaced by re-run of Dad’s Army episode from 1971


  94. 310
    Martin Day says:



    David Cameron found out that Lord Ashcroft was a “non-dom” within the last month, according to a member of his Shadow Cabinet.
    Liam Fox told Five News’ political editor Andy Bell: “I understand David Cameron knew within the last month about the non-dom issue.”


  95. 320
    Martin Day says:

    What a great afternoon

    I’m hearing that “The Sun” newspaper will withdraw their backing for the Conservatives



    • 346
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      where are you hearing that?

      If its an inanimate object or a pet animal that’s saying it, or even an abusive substance, can you ask them whether they are sure. If its a voice in your head, don’t listen if it says anything about who you should kill.


  96. 321

    Purcell is to be praised for his contribution to trade between Britain and Columbia.


  97. 325
    QWERTY says:

    John Sopel on News 24 just hammerred the woman from the Electoral Commission suggesting that she hadn’t done a proper job of investigating Lord Ashcroft (because he was cleared) and that she was covering up Tory sleaze.

    I’m still waiting for the BBC to tell me about Lord Fondelbum’s dodgy mortgage application.


    • 349
      Some things never change says:

      Yup Anna Jones did the same on Sky asking incredulously….”So there is nothing else that you wish to add ? ” Woman from Electooal Commission.” No.We have carried out a very extensive investigation over many months and there is no question of any illegality and nothing further that,we,the Electoral Commission,wish to add !”


    • 357
      Cassandra King says:

      The BBC is doggedly clinging to the labour smear offensive that nobody outside the labour party and the BBC gives two shits about, the vast majority of people couldnt give a flying fuck about the non story and the mong leftists are too retarded to see it!
      If only they could see how pathetic this continued fixation with trying to sling mud and groundless accusations, on the eve of eletoral oblivion they choose to stick with what they know best?

      The labour mong retards are talking to themselves like some disturbed Jock tramp outside Waterloo station FFS.


      • 386
        Undecided Voter says:

        I am not a Labour supporter Cassandra.
        You see that is your problem, you just don’t get it, do you?
        Apart from the ranting fanatics like you there is no real support for the Tories.
        Your logic is that as Labour have fucked up so badly, and I agree, they have, then everyone should come running to the bosom of the Tory party.
        The flaw in your logic is that millions of people had a very bad experience under the last Tory government and if anything they will run in the opposite direction.
        The fact that you have some good looking smoothie as your leader doesn’t change people’s memories of what your party was like last time.
        It just doesn’t cut the mustard. And the fact that David Cameron ripped off the taxpayer for every penny he could despite being a millionaire, and that Lord Ashcroft ripped of the Treasury for 125 million pounds by telling lies does not help your case at all.
        These are the facts and the realities you are refusing to face Cassandra.
        And for that refusal the Conservatives will pay a heavy price at the ballot box.


        • 459
          Undecided nutter says:

          Mutter mutter… expletive… spit…”yer all fuckin’ Hunts!” belch…mutter mutter…


    • 427
      Johnny says says:

      Perhaps John should ask David Abrahams for comment…


    • 452
      Peter Grimes says:


      And for the Met/CPS to explain why they let Abrahams and ZaNuLieBor off the hook for the most blatant case of dodgy donations we have ever seen.

      To date!


  98. 326
    The PM shouldn't be disturbed but this cunt is says:

    Oh this is a fooking beautiful, beautiful I said!!
    I said bootiful!

    As someone who has largely departed to a fair tax system/low crime nation I have to say really I want these Labour fuckwits to gain power with a comfortable majority.
    It’s not gonna be fun laughing at these liars, bullies, druggies, mortgage defrauders, dodgy passport expeditors, war criminals, smearers, pompous, puffed up, preening, bankrupt, employers of illegals, above the law, spendaholic loonies unless they’re in power.

    Plus of course I cant wait for the day when the benefits/public sector non jobs gravy train hits the buffers at 200mph.

    It’s gonna be emoshunalls innit


  99. 327
    David Cameron says:

    Hmmmm this Ashcroft story could lose us the election, rendering us not able to make 3 million unemployed, force up mortgages by 50%, closing down businesses with high interest rates on loans and having to deal with riots on the streets.

    Oh dear how sad never mind – ‘chortle’!


    • 329
      Gordon Brown says:

      We will make more people unemployed than the tories, they are novices.


      • 333
        How the Mighty Fall says:

        Oh no Gordon, The Conservative party are fucking experts at throwing workers on the scrapheap.


        • 341
          jgm2 says:

          Good. They’ve got at least a million of the fuckers to identify that the Maximum Imbecile hired with no visible means of paying except pyramid borrowing.


          • How the Mighty Fall says:

            I was talking about the previous Tory adminstration which threw 3 million private sector workers on the scrapheap.
            Don’t you remember?


          • jgm2 says:

            Which private sector workers were they? The miners? No. They weren’t private sector. British Leyland? No. British Steel? No. British Airways? No. British Telecom? No.

            What are you talking about?

            Three million? I think you’re two million too many there.


          • Undecided Voter says:

            Thank you for hi-lighting the disastrous policy of privatisation that were forced upon us by the last Conservative administration.
            We were forced to buy utilities that already belonged to us.
            Good trick, eh? A trick that George Osborne is trying to repeat with the sale of the Banks that already belong to us. He has no shame, has he?
            And those industries were slashed to boost profits and millions of jobs were lost in the process. Your semantics will not feed a jobless person, they are of use to neither beast nor man.
            Oh, and The Tories have already admitted their privatisation of the Railways was a mistake, so I wouldn’t argue against your party line on that one, that would be most unwise.
            And have you tried phoning BT lately?
            Takes an hour to get through my old china, so that wasn’t much of a success either, now was it?
            Gas, electric? Prices have gone through the roof as a consequence and the regulators are toothless and so old people die from fuel povery by the tens of thousands every year.
            But thanks for listing all the industries the Tories destroyed last time they were in power, most instructive, although I don’t think it will help to persuade anyone to vote Conservative this time round.
            Apart from that good post, well done.


          • jgm2 says:

            I’ll give you that rail privitisation was a fuck up.

            But the rest were fucking brilliant.

            And if the Tories can sell the banks and pocket a profit before the same institutionalised mindset of British Coal, British Steel, BT, BA, BL etc etc sets in then so much the better.

            In fact better to take a small loss on the deal than end up with thirty years of a British-Coal-a-like all over again. Don’t you agree?

            Imagine that. The bank ‘key-workers’ all going on strike. NO direct debits. No access to money. The economic equivilent of the miners going on strike and leaving grannies to freeze to death. No. We definitely don’t want to get to that stage.

            Get the fuckers off the state books ASAP.

            I’m sure you’ll agree.


        • 352
          Anonymous says:

          How the Mighty Fall:-

          Really? I’d be very interested to know where you get your information from.

          My spouse and myselfhave been made redundant 6 times between us. Five of those redundancies were under a Labour Government. This is a fact.

          Pot, kettle, black.


          • How the Mighty Fall says:

            I am not a Labour supporter and so your analogy is off the boil.


          • Pete says:

            “I am not a Labour supporter”


            Course not, sunshine, yer a Libdum innit?


      • 362
        Gordon Brown says:

        How am I going to tell the 1 million non-job public servants who voted us in for 5 more years that they are to be sacrificed to save money, bollox, why have we closed the polls so close, do i really want to inherit my own shit?

        I’m gonna have to re-think what winning looks like.


  100. 330
    How the Mighty Fall says:

    Haven’t the Tory trolls gone quiet?
    Reality is starting to sink in I suppose.


    • 356
      Not as far as Brown will fall after May 6th says:

      No.Unlike Labour Trolls we actually have to work for our living. I know that that is a strange concept..that you actually have to get up and turn in for work and actually earn a wage rather than just go down the JobCentreplus every fortnight to pick up your benefits cheque


    • 359
      plan 9 says:

      Nope! just watching you labour ar*ewipes washing your tiny minds in public hehehe !


      • 403
        How the Mighty Fall says:

        You seem to be doing a rather good job of that yourself.
        And I am not a Labour supporter but you are probably a bit too thick to be able to comprehend that fact.


  101. 332
    The truth is out there if you listen. says:

    It’s surprising how many of my friends, family and just nice normal people that I talk to are saying that they have always voted for Labour but now say they will never vote for them again. The reasons are obvious but the main ones are because they lied to us over the Iraq war and then have continued to lie about everything else from the economy to crime and immigration.

    The simple truth is that Labour are now the nasty party led by nasty greedy people out to grasp as much as they can. Tony Blair is the best example of this. Also, just tune in to PMQ’s and listen to the horrible bullying and sneering replies by Brown and Harman. And the vile comments on this blog by Labour government supporters are another example. They are not setting out to win more votes by reason of good policies it is just more of the same nasty sneering.

    When pushed and if they trust you these ex Labour party folk will finaly and quietly say “well it has to be the B******* N******* Party.” When I ask what they would say if asked by a stranger, i.e. a pollster, I am told, “oh I will still say Labour”.

    Only the GE will tell us which way the nation will finaly vote but to crow about polls one way or the other at this stage is stupid, albeit typical of the followers of the most destructive incompetent government we have ever had. How can this government even pretend to be Socialist when the people have been so poorly treated is beyond belief.


    • 336
      How the Mighty Fall says:

      And yet still the Tory support is falling off the edge of a cliff.
      Why do you think that despite the terrible and catastrophic governance of this useless Labour party the Tories still can’t get their shit together?
      It’s a fucking mystery, isn’t it?
      Why is there stilll no popular support for the millionaire benefit cheat and his tax evading L funder Lord Liar?
      Oh, and thanks for the straw poll, very enlightening. Yawn.


      • 342
        Wake up & smell the brown stuff says:

        Hello nasty party. Another vote for you know who then.


      • 345
        Cassandra King says:



        • 351
          How the Mighty Fall says:

          Better wake up Cassandra, you are in the process of losing an election love.
          You will have to start shaking that ass a bit.


          • Gordon Brown says:

            We must do something to lose, I have fucked the economy and will never be able to put it right. People will start to hate me if I make swinging cuts and if I don’t the IMF will take me away.

            I’ll ring Piers, he likes a good sob with me.


          • Cassandra King says:

            Ooooh dear oh dear, I am as anti newfaketory as I am newfakelabour as anyone who reads knows all too well. I despise honest Dave and his gang of midget non entities, the sellout fake Tories sold out to the NWO monster via their eurotrash masters.

            I hope the newfaketory muppets lose the election and i would happily watch as they implode like a paper bag filled with doggie mess. The only person in the entire nation who is more dangerous than McMental is honest Dave IMHO.
            Word of advice to the wise, if you want to attack the newfaketory machine quit attacking Ashcroft, its a non story and wasting time on a non story neans the real stories are going untold FFS, Dave must be pissing his knickers with glee as the left waste their energy on a story that the public doesnt care about, they see rightly or wrongly a man that gives millions to the forces and does good works.

            All the average person sees is a smear job now and anything else is lost in that perception. If the left concentrated their firepower on the many issues honest Dave is trying to hide they might just pull off a miracle recovery.


        • 363
          Ex Smackhead says:

          I would put money that the B*N*P will get one MP in westminister at the GE. People have changed and have tuned out of listening to the usual stuff in the media said about them and are willingly to try them.


          • Anonymous says:

            Especially when you have twats like Trevor Philips continually stirring up trouble.

            He most be one of their biggest recruiting sergeants.


          • Bob Page says:

            As much as I think they are a complete joke as a political party, them getting one or two seats along with UKIP would be quite entertaining and would certainly shake things up.


    • 350
      Gordon McWhiteStuff says:

      I’m one of those people. I’d voted for them since 1986 – 2005.

      I’m not ashamed to say I’d allowed myself to become hoodwinked and hypnotized by the left-wing media. Plus I was never really old enough to fully appreciate what damage Labour governments had done previously.

      Such as organized unions being allowed to wreak havoc, keeping the UK firmly near the bottom of any list of countries for investors thinking of where to do business.


  102. 339
    Cassandra King says:

    I see the desperate labour droids are trying to peddle the dead Ashcroft non story, flogging a dead horse and hawking the same old boring smears over and over Zzzzzzzzzz!

    The smear is all they have left now, a few years ago the labour media monster would have pulled it off but the monster is not what it was, its a shadow of its former self and more importantly people have sussed out the workings of the poisonous labour smear’N’lies machine.
    Nowadays the only people they are talking to are themselves, round and round in ever decreasing circles assisted by a dwindling band of media allies like toenails Robinson.
    If the labour mongs didnt have the Ashcroft smear to peddle they would have nothing to hide behind, labour is sleepwalking into electoral destruction and good riddance, a poisonous crew of cheating,backstabbing,ludicrous,greasy shits with a bloated sense of entitlement.

    Note to labour mongs: go peddle your boring smears elsewhere to people who could give a shite and those people are few in number.


    • 347
      How the Mighty Fall says:

      You are Dave Cameron and I claim my 5 euros.
      You’re fucked Dave, you compromised your and your party’s integrity for a few million quid and you knowingly did it at the expense of the country.
      All hope of any type of majority has gone now.
      And it was all your greedy fault.
      Oh well, could be worse I suppose, the Conservative party could kick your useless selfish ass to kerb and parachute in the decent and honest David Davis to replace you!


      • 365
        plan 9 says:

        You are a labour puppet and cretin! and I claim my right to hurt you in inventive ways , and my mind is a real cesspit so worry you red bitch !.
        ps love to gord


      • 401
        Cassandra King says:

        I despise the tories and newlabour with equal intensity, the liblabcon sellouts can go drown for all I care.
        What I do recognise is a newlabour battle of the bulge destined to end in failure, so used to the smear they dont have the intelectual capacity to attack honest Daves real weak spots with the electorate and there are many if only the labour mongs would pull their collective heads out of their rectums. The labour attack puppies are attacking their own fucking tails instead of taking Cameron by the balls and squeezing hard.
        Dave and his band of circus freaks must be laughing into their lattes.


  103. 339
    How the Mighty Fall says:

    Another day closer to the General Election and another thread lost by the Tory trolls and on a Tory site too!
    It must be worrying them quite badly by now that they are on such a losing streak and they must be getting very angry indeed.
    But the problem is, every time they lash out in anger they become even more unpopular.
    What a pickle they are in!


  104. 355
    Martin Day says:

    It just gets better for Labour

    Conservative Party ‘refused to allow interviews during Lord Ashcroft investigation’
    The Conservatives refused to allow interviews of any of its officers or staff during an investigation which has cleared the party and Lord Ashcroft in relation to £5.1 million of donations, the Electoral Commission said.


    • 367
      The Dirty Rat says:

      Ashcroft is yesterdays news. The new kid on the block is Swraj Pa*l. Watch and learn.


      • 482
        Gordons battered bell end says:

        Martin.Lord poole pays top wages to his indian child workers.It will be in the public domain next week and we can all praise him.He is a great businessman.He gives us £68000 and draws £280000 in expenses.Priceless.


    • 381
      Bob Page says:

      It’s nice that Labour loyalists have a hypocritical witch hunt to focus their tiny minds on.

      The rest of us are more concerned about the fact that our economy is about to collapse again. Oops, I forgot that stating facts is now classed as “unpatriotic” and “talking the country down”.


      • 410
        jgm2 says:

        Aye. Anybody pointing out the bleeding obvious is ‘talking the country down’. I say bleeding obvious but of course to 30% of the population, breast-fed since birth on the lie that the BBC is an unbiased source of news, it will not be obvious just how fucked we are and how Labour are 100% responsible.

        The biggest news today should be ‘Oh Fuck – we’re another half a billion quid in debt with no sign of stopping the insanity’. As it is though the BBC will be leading with a five year old boy being kidnapped in P*kist*n followed by ‘Tory Peer cleared’ [subtext – on a technicality] and paradoxically the one story that would really worry the dumbed-down electorate (apart from the truth about our dire economic state) ‘UK house Prices drop by 1.5%’.

        The electorate’s eyes will collectively glaze over if you explain how the economy is fucked and how we’re in 800bn quid of debt already and the jackass is going to add another 200bn quid just to make the payroll this year.

        But tell ‘em their house ‘went down’ by 1.5% and they’ll shit themselves. You mean I’m not as ‘rich’ as I was in January? You mean I can’t remortgage and buy a family holiday in Mauritius? How is the electorate supposed to live the life it deserves if this fucking government can’t even get its shit together to keep house prices rising so that the electorate can borrow even more money and piss it away? Eh? Answer me that.

        Brown knew that his electoral health depended on increasing house prices which is why he stoked a boom for an entire decade. Labour’s resurgence in the polls can be placed at the feet of the BBC and unprecedented borrowing and record low interest rates stemming a flood of forced house sales thus further tanking the market. The whole action taken in propping up the banks has been to stop ‘em forcing sale on their defaulted properties PLUS bunging the newly unemployed money to keep ‘em in houses they can’t afford PLUS cutting interest rates so that the private sector (who have had two years of pay-cuts) can still afford their mortgage.

        If house prices start to tank again even after all this artificial stimulus then expect Brown’s poll ratings to go back where they should be. In the shitter.


        • 454
          Low cunning in the vicarage says:

          And QE’d to allow interest rates to be virtually zero to postpone the onward decline until after the election. He hoped to reduce the electoral disaster (from Labour’s party point of view) to a heavy defeat. He did not expect to be in office (hence absence of any real business in the Commons for 18 months now).

          The the 225bn debt fuelled growth has recorded + 0.3for q4 and should rise to +1,5% for q1 (2010) and that’s what the moron is waiting for.

          The recovery is here, he will bellow. He knows that’s bull.


    • 395
      Treasury: We are quite relaxed about non-dom says:

      Ron Sandler, the troubleshooter brought in by Gordon Brown to oversee the rescue of Northern Rock, has been revealed to be a non-dom who does not pay UK taxes on his offshore earnings.

      Quite legally.


      Mr Sandler will be paid £1m a year for turning the nationalised bank around, and will be expected to pay taxes on his UK earnings. But the revelation of his non-domiciled tax status constitutes an embarrassment for the Government which recently announced measures to penalise non-doms by imposing a tax of £30,000 a year after they have lived in Britain for seven years.

      The Treasury said it was unable to discuss an individual’s tax arrangements, but a spokesman added: “If he were a non-dom, we would be quite relaxed about that. We have got a tax regime which allows people not domiciled in the UK to come here and work. Regardless of what people’s position is, they pay tax on their income in the UK.”


  105. 366
    Dogman says:

    Its a completely used up, washed out story yet the media let labour retards onto ours screens churning out anti tory drivel. Any ‘guest’ brought on to discuss a topic always deviates to the Ashcroft is guilty line. Tearful girl soon to be heard on CBBC says ‘Ashcroft ate my hampster’. Apart from Gove shoving it up old hagface on Newsnight, no Tory with a backbone to be seen argueing their corner. They don’t deserve getting anyones vote until they get out of their torpor.(not to be confused with Tapir!)


  106. 372
    Undecided Voter says:

    I’m feeling much better now. God, that’s good stuff.


  107. 378
    Doggy in the window says:



  108. 393
    Dogman says:

    How come my post is actually shown along with the comment ‘awaiting moderation’. Is it me or is that a rather labouresque thing to do? I’ve seen virtually every word from Millwall F.C’s dictionary on this site yet ‘labour retard’ or ‘Hagface’ seems to draw offence.


  109. 397
    Gordons Beard Sarah says:

    I have another new friend. That black man from elsewhere introduced me to his wife, she is called number 5 you know. Such a lovely girl, she reminds me of Naomi in lots of ways.


  110. 400
    The Dirty Rat says:

    I’ve just been modded for having a knuckle shuffle in Tesco – whatever next.


  111. 404
    Bryan McGrath says:

    Guido why no pithy thread on “Ashcroftgate”? Perhaps is it because it isn’t smart for a tory lackey (like your good self) to kick the paymaster in the goolies.

    Catch your site again next year, if you’re still around


  112. 406
    Anonymous says:

    dont expect the herald and evening times to expose anything on this story

    their cheif editor is a mate of purcells and all his other contacts

    just look at how cowardly they are in avoiding the details on this story

    free press my ass

    bunch of shills more like


    • 489
      Anonymous says:

      That’s because the lawyers the herald and the record use are the same as the ones used by Purcell…


  113. 407
    Joseph Zuma says:

    That nice bloke Gordon brown has offered me loads of other people’s money to revitalise Soth Africa. So me and the bitches are off to Harrods via a Mercedes dealership – my ashtray is full. Kerching!!


  114. 409
    Al says:

    Now that the Electoral Commission have cleared Lord Ashcroft of any wrongdoing are the BBC going to mount a similiar smear campaign against the Labour supporting non-doms?:

    Lakshmi Mittal – £4.125 million in donations to Labour.

    Sir Ronald Cohen – £2.55 million in donations to Labour. Cohen was appointed chair of the Social Investment Taskforce, which was announced by the then Chancellor, Gordon Brown.

    Lord Paul – £69,250 in donations to Labour, including £45,000 to Gordon Brown’s leadership campaign. A close friend of Gordon Brown and appointed to the Privy Council last summer.

    Sir Christopher Ondaatje – £1.7 million in donations to Labour.

    Sir Gulam Noon – £532,826 in donations to Labour.

    William Bollinger – £510,725 in donations to Labour.

    Mahmoud Khayami – £985,000 in donations to Labour including £5,000 to Hazel Blears’ deputy leadership campaign.

    Dr David Potter – £90,000 in a donation to Labour.


  115. 416
    dogman says:

    Darn it, removing my post just makes me look silly. All I said was the only Tory to stand his ground was Gove when he shoved it up old hagface on Newsnight and then I called the conveyor belt of labour media guests retards. Why did that need to be removed?


  116. 421
    dogman says:

    Now my comment at 3.54pm is back and I look even more daft. Are you playing footsy with me eh? I don’t touch my toes or swallow just to set the ground rules.


  117. 429
    Anonymous says:


  118. 433
    The Dirty Rat says:

    I do hope that Gorgon has a good nights sleep tonight in preparation for tomorrow. Think hard you cnut and explain why you withheld funding from UK forces.
    Happy nightmares you putrid piece of shit.


    • 453
      Tesco is fucking the country says:

      I second your emotion, Dirty Rat, but shit has a function. It removes waste from the body. Gorgon the Moron Cyclops IS waste, disgusting waste, and I hope there are enough parents of servicemen and women at the Chilcot enquiry to reduce him to such a blubbering wreck that he has to be sectioned and taken to a secure psychiatric unit for the rest of his lying, incompetent, hypocritical, bullying, scheming life. I hope he retains enough of his dubious functions to realise the complete loathing a majority of the population hold for him and his revolting comrade in arms, Tony ‘I’m a multi-millionaire and you pathetic wankers that voted for me are idiots’ Bliar.


  119. 435
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    I’d sniff coke, but i can’t open the fucking cans with my nose…..


  120. 438
    Cassandra King says:

    The utterly hilarious thing is that it could have been so very different if newlabour had ditched the maximum imbecile and his gang of numpties and elected a real person like Frank Field as leader, OK they might have still lost but the coming utter destruction of newlabour could have been avoided.
    But oooh no newlabour just had to stick with the worst leader ever to lead the party, he makes Foot look like a Mr popular winner FFS.
    Whatever people think of newlabour most people hate Brown with a fierce intensity, he is leading the labour party to utter ruin.
    Still Frank Field could well be the next speaker post election after the poison dwarf gets the heave ho and he might just salvage a small amount of dignity to a devastated post election labour party!


  121. 441
    Gordon 'Mansey Boy' Brown says:

    You were warned but you didn’t listen. Did ya, you moronic oaf.

    “Where the Commission suggests that our public investment plans may be excessive we do not agree. We simply do not accept it.”


  122. 444
    John Slinger says:

    I’m all for political banter, claim and counter-claim, etc in the blogosphere, but I’m really not sure why you have to descend to puerile personal insults which attack someone for their disability (“One-Eyed Son of the Manse”). This is playground bully territory and as such, is unbecoming of Guido.


    • 472
      Barnabas Scudamore says:

      Who ever said that it was taking the piss ?

      Gordon brown does ONLY have one eye

      He is the son of a manse

      Guido is giving the clear truth.

      It’s your own shameful bitter twisted mind that has taken it as being derogatory.


    • 473
      Barnabas Scudamore says:

      I can’t resist it :


      (this is playground type behaviour).


  123. 464
    IainM says:

    There is a place in Scotland where you can go to cure a ruuny nose and they can cure it in 2 days! Its a miracle, look out Lourdes you have competition and Nu Labour have found a way to cure the ills of the Scottish economy with a blizzard of the stressed puring into the country! And the Pope is planning a vist soon as well! Halleluyah! We are saved! Rejoice in the son of the manse – he saved the world again!


  124. 470
    Anonymous says:


    THIS HAS JUST WON THE PRIZE FOR BLOGPOST OF THE YEAR 2010 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



  125. 475
    Barnabas Scudamore says:

    Why does the picture of purcell have something under his nose ?

    Also, guido made a spelling mistake “…who nose….”

    I think you mean Knows guido. poor english !

    Also, calling someone a charlie isn’t nice, I think you could have just put “C”.

    Change of subject, but making that crack about gordon only having one eye, really isn’t Rock n’roll !

    Plus, if gordon gets back into number 10 guido, you’ll be in a line for spanking.

    I only hope once the dust has settled, gordon won’t be too angry and won’t give a toot about this blog !

    I’m off too listen to some Bob Marley and have a cola !


  126. 479
    Jimmy says:

    “When Guido gets over-stressed he goes on a beach holiday,”

    From what?

    I must admit I hadn’t realised libertarianism was this “flamboyant”-ophobic.


  127. 484
    Raptor says:

    It seems that the BBC/New Labour smear campaign against Lord Ashcroft has not succeeded — unlike their highly-successful character assassination of Christine Pratt, only last week. Much easier to destroy a woman, eh, chaps ?


  128. 485
    Hamish Macbeth says:

    “”Peter Watson, his lawyer, told Guido that he would invoke Article 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights against him if the blog crossed the line into Purcell’s privacy. What a proper charlie…””

    For fucksake… since when has the ECHR applied to non state/public sector bodies…Peter Watson needs some urgent legal training!!


  129. 486
    Tufton MacBufton says:

    I wonder who is paying for Stephen Purcell’s legal and media advice. Surely no career Labour politician would stoop so low as to pass the bill to the tax payer?


  130. 494
    harpic says:

    Everyone repeat everyone should access website and read about the paedophilic tendencies or comments made about the one-eyed git from the manse – this should be exploited and broadcast to all.


  131. 498
    Bob says:

    The biggest case of Stockholm Syndrome known to man and beast.

    Labour could nuke Glasgow and the survivors would still vote Labour.


  132. 500
    The Master says:

    what a charlie


  133. 501
    Ian Rosebery, Edinburgh says:

    Steven Purcell – local news [yawn].
    Soi-disante high-flier of the not-very-high-flying West of Scotland Labour Establishment. It’s been in power for about 80 years in Glasgow and its satellite and rottener burghs [Scottish spelling folks]. Any notion that an openly gay and, for the city, worryingly young and relatively capable councillor could turn around the institutionally corrupt Labour tanker was sadly misplaced.
    The Labour Party in the West of Scotland is part of a Catholic Church and Celtic Football Club power axis in which the common thread is that peculiar brand of Glasgow Irish Republican catholicism, whether observed or secular. There are the odd few Uncle Tom non-Catholics, like the City’s current Lord Provost. He is some kind of Protestant and even went to a state selective school, later sacrificed by his party in the city 1960’s class-war. Conveniently, he supports Celtic rather that the vilified enemy and representative of evil sectarianism [a one-way street in this city, it seems] and referee bias, Rangers FC, which does allow him to join those unoffical Labour Party group meetings in the Parkhead stadium hospitality suite of a Saturday. Like any embedded Establishment, anywhere, they can’t see anything wrong, while the city and Region they dominate excels in all the negative indicators that matter – tops in murder, drug crime, educational underachievement, gang crime, joblessness, single-parent families, people on benefits, etc., etc.
    There is no way of knowing, until it comes out, if Purcell’s demise was genuinely stress-induced – local councillors and quangocrats have been resigning for ‘health’ reasons in numbers recently as their expenses have come under scrutiny. Not just in Wesminster folks. If Purcell has drug and sex skeletons in his closet, and that’s by no means certain despite the inuendo, let’s not allow them to mask the real rottenness of Labour when it’s dug in so deep it’s immovable. As one whose grandfather was an Independent Labour Party councillor in the 1930s, I cannot help but feel immense sorrow for my native city and immense relief that I no longer live there.


  134. 502
    James says:

    To think he was accusing the SNP of being anti-Glasgow!


  135. 507

    […] Jonah’s Pharmaceutical Omnishambles The Curse of the One-Eyed Son of the Manse will not go away. Pharma big boys AstraZeneca were very chuffed when Gordon […] […]


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