iCampaign Hots Up
Labour has an iPhone App scheduled for release in early February. Dithering is not the preserve of Downing Street, the digital team admit they have yet to finalise the specification.
They want it to sync to local campaign events using GPS and postcode data, have a mobile version of their Virtual Phone Bank enabling a user to phone target voters plus have linkage into Facebook and Twitter.
With Labour’s record on IT projects Guido will bet it over-runs on cost and doesn’t work properly…
UPDATE : A Tory source says sniffily “We’ll announce our app when it is ready for release”. The LibDems are experimenting with tin cans and string.
Considering Labour’s core vote wouldn’t it more prudent for them to sponsor the Jeremy Kyle show?
Fuck off Labour.
You are filth and scum.
Fuck your propaganda devices you Comical Alis.
Nuff said.
Fucking great. A Labour App. I do hope that along with combining GPS data it is able to issue P45s in realtime as the election results come in.
Culminating in salary cuts for those cabinet (soon to be ex-cabinet) ministers when they’re no longer in government.
Bing
Hello Jacqui Smith. You are now unemployed. Please report to your local JobCentre PLUS.
Bing
Hello Mr Jack Straw. Your salary just went from 150K to 67K. You don’t have to do anything – your tax code will be automatically amended.
Bing
If only
I thought “Grinder” was the favourite ZaNuLabia app?
67K is far too much!
Wishful thinking jgm. Some of this NuLabour stuff you just could not make up.
‘Bing’? Fuckin ‘bing’? I don’t fucking ‘bing’ you c’unt. Shut the fuck up retard.
LOL, you will soon. Say bye, bye to google.
I’ll friggin ‘bing’ you Steve if you’re not careful. Don’t fuck with me. I’m fucking scary when I’m angry. Fucking ‘bing’ indeed. You fucks don’t deserve me.
Steves we’re coming to get you. Be afraid, be very afraid. We’ve got the chink’s on the run already.
Westminster MPs from the three major parties each get £7,000 per year free stationery and postage — but Ministry of Defence “budget cuts” will soon see the British Forces Post Office (BFPO) facilities closed down which will dramatically increase the costs of sending our soldiers letters and parcels when they are stationed abroad.
Under current Parliamentary expenses rules, stationery can be ordered from the supplier for use in direct connection with a Member’s duties. In the course of a financial year, an MP is entitled to be supplied free of charge with original House of Commons stationery up to the value of £7,000. This includes the cost of the stationery itself and postage on pre-paid envelopes. MPs may also purchase original House stationery (but not pre-paid envelopes) using their Incidental Expenses Provision or Communications Allowance.
Our Armed Forces have however been advised that the BFPO facilities in mainland Europe will be shut from September 2010.
Personnel and their families deployed in Europe currently enjoy the same postal rates as the UK. Withdrawal of this long established tradition will further erode personnel’s ability to communicate with their families in the UK and safe receipt of parcels, etc. through a secure network.
It also means soldiers’ families will have to pay the full rate to send parcels and letters overseas.
In April, the Government quietly announced the closure of more than one in seven military post offices to save £1.7 million. Some 11 mail centres across mainland Europe, including in Brussels, Brunssum, Ramstein, Stavanger, Karup, Naples, Rome, Milan, Lisbon and Valencia, are set for closure.
The wife of a serving soldier has now launched a petition which asks the Prime Minister’s office to reconsider the decision to remove BFPO from mainland Europe. All readers are encouraged to sign the petition which can be found here.
You must be a British citizen or resident to sign the petition. Please enter your name only; signatures containing other text may be removed by the petitions team.
Salutations,
Your post contained no link. Please re-post it.
Thanks & good luck
RAAARRRRKK!!! (flutter) OOZEACHEEKEYBOYZEN!!! (phwee-tweet) BALDIE!
Try reading the post – or are you one of those brave armchair radicals who thinks we dont need an army?
Ever had a girlfriend, other than your right hand?
Aimed At ?
Minarchists (moi) believe the role of the state should be confined to defence and very little else. I suspect (but can’t be sure) that the host here is one of those also.
smartfuckerists (toi) could be right
realists (nous) say no hope of governments ever being so inclined
Tat…come back..all is forgiven…don’t be churlish…nell is sending u extra hobnobs and we all want you to stay…we can give you your very own app…what will it take to
persuade you…more abuse…better ideas…5 more glorious years of our great leader…..
I have always said Tat is the grit in the pearl , and I’ll happily send him extra hobnobs but – voting for ‘five more glorious years of our great leader’ !
Sorry Tat I hope you understand but that would be a price too high to pay!
Tsk! grit in the oyster making the pearl!!!
just send him the hobnobs and the choc chip cookies …that could do it
yeah as a glove puppet on the left………
Yes you, but my right hand was better than you
Great post 130, the more information the better as you can’t rely on the State run media to provide it. Sally m ignore the the other twat he wont be on much longer after he’s finished squeezing his blackheads he’ll be off down the pub, staring at the girls wondering if he will ever loose his virginity at the age of 27. Then it will back home to his mom and dad’s house for a quick tug of his willy whilst the real hero’s in Afghanistan are risking their lives for him.
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/SaveBFPO/
link for petition to save troops postage
211 signed up and sent it to my facebook – many thanks
It’s a disgrace, but then we’re used to that from Labour.
Signed up but I wouldn’t hold your breath. Ditherer brown took pride in withholding funding from our forces and this is one more snide action on the part him and his cohort.
I’m on TPS. Go ahead punk make my day.
The technicalities of the delivery medium is irrelevent especially as we know their message will be utter bollox!
It’ll be a classic own-goal too. The Labour Party has next to no grassroots support and certainly out in their ‘traditional’ communities nobody with an iphone either.
The only folk who’ll be showing up to ‘spontaneous’ rallies as an unrepresentative partisan crowd will not be slack-jawed Labour activists but tech-savvy Tory spoilers.
‘You’re shiiiiiit and you know you aaaaare’.
Get used to it Labour. You’ll be hearing a lot of it.
If I get some Labour Huhne on my phone canvassing for support/money/my presence at a meeting s/he will soon wish they hadn’t bothered.
“LibDems are experimenting with tin cans and string”
Err … do you think the might like a rather frayed pair of semaphore flags I found in Oxfam the other day?
Actually, I know exactly how they feel….
iPhone App? I still haven’t got used to cordless phones.
So they are recycling. Very creditable.
Sir Trev.
Spot on, GiGo springs to mind.
first we had killer apps now courtesy of the new labour torture party we have ‘zombie apps’.
@#1, yup. The only people who would be using the iPhone app would be Labour appartchiks and partisan geeks who, like the dumb fvcks they are, vote Labour anyway.
What they really should do to improve turnout is switch off the TV broadcast and close all the fast food joints in an effort to get whole swathes of the unemployed off their muffin top ar$es out to the voting booths and not switch the broadcast back on until they do.
Now that would be effective.
Muffin topped women can on occasion be quite attractive.
Prove it!
I know what you mean Tuscan Tony – here’s a prime example
A ULCC of a woman, and I don’t mean that as a compliment. If she had burst in Prince William Sound the eco-disaster woudl have overshadowed the Exxon Valdez spillage.
A Cadbury’s customer, methinks.
Naahh, polling booths are often in school, working class tossers have a seriously bad aversion to seats of learning which is why they vote Labour in the first instance.
There’s a crapp for that.
No they will give Iphone’s to all core voters courtesy of the taxpayers and use the GPS to track them.
All benefit recipients will receive a postal ballot form with their next Giro.
LINK AS FOLLOWS
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/SaveBFPO/sign
It’s Official. I’ll not cut NHS fundingCameron is as mad as Bonkers Brown .
Promises to spare NHS and schools from cuts ‘insane’ says audit chief
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/jan/21/nhs-schools-cuts
Agreed.
Another promise that will have to be broken.
Another reputation becoming more tattered by the day.
Didn’t Cameron only promise to protect the NHS budget.Not schools.
True. So he is only half mad.
If it’s anything like the tom-tom app, they will be counting the vote in Mexico.
At least it sounds like they’re being ambitious with it. The Tory iPhone app is just the equivalent of an RSS of press releases.
Oh they haven’t announced it yet? Maybe I’m getting confused with the Facebook app. Is it legal to have the phone numbers of members of the public accessible from volunteers’ iPhones under data protection law??
Is there really any point in a sophisticated app for either the red or blue political nerds. Outside of the “metropolitan elites” there are only going to be handful of people who are
1 geeky enough to want that app
2 actually have an i phone to use it on.
They should just stick to facebook rather than trying to be too clever.
Is the labour app listed under games?
Is it called ‘Gordon Brown: seek and destroy’?
Superb!!! A real-life shoot-em-up for my iPhone!!!
If it’s potentially useful for campaigning then yes. I think a disproportionate number of people in politics have either iPhones or Blackberries.
Yeah fuck you too you c’unt. I fucking rule!!!
That’s what I wondered, Tom. Also the Post Office can be very protective of Post Code data.
no longer, Mr Berners is putting an end to that
http://www.data.gov.uk/home
You can buy/rent the PAF now anyway.
Would be amused if due to delays it is launched after the date of the election – wonder how much money Labour can waste on botched elections.
It goes without saying it will be late, over budget and completely useless. It’s Labour. Oh and we announced it before.
If they’ve outsourced it to Crapita (standard proceedure) it won’t be ready for the 2015 GE, plus a cost of £50 million.
Labour finds this technology for their own means. Our battalions have been asking for it for some time.
Battalions? Bet you have more Logistical Air Lift support, body armour and desert boots than our troops that you Bastards have hung out to dry.
Do you fund it with a bigger overdraft? Or can we all buy peerages on-line soon. Immigration racket? Kickbacks from shit Defence procurement. Or are the Unions having to stump up again in return for ‘Training Grants’, and ‘Research’.
You lot really are total scum.
OT, from the Telegraph today, perhaps we could see if we could get Gordon to have a go at this.
Watch the one in Maidstone town centre where the jewel robbers try to get away – credit to the cops where credit is due.
legendary i’m going to try that tonight wish me luck
You’ve gone very quiet, woof woof.
Woof woof?
Hello?
Woof woof?
No doubt about their guilt = string ‘em up
Well, that’s just dandy. But no App, no gizmo, no bell, no whistle can make ‘Gordon Brown – five more years’ sound appealing.
In fact, I wish the Labour Party and its ghastly cheerleaders would just fuck off.
Oh they will, they really will, with our money!
Don’t have an iPhone thank goodness, but if I did why would I sign up for digital tagging?
I might upgrade Google MyTracks to show the Jonah effect as it curses its way around Gordistan.
Brilliant – a new app called JonahTrack;
bust businesses
flooded towns
dead soldiers
earthquakes
new wars
old wars
ruined economies
That would keep a few hundred thousand people in a job just to administer it.
The biggest growth Industry in the UK. A one man career phenomenon.
Who needs 500,000 non-jobs based on a false premise of myths and legends, when Gordon can double that amount.
He is truly a walking disaster!
If you have a phone it will be compulsory soon anyway. In Spain all PAYG phones have to be registered just like contract phones and you can be sure the UK will adopt it some time soon under the banner of “the war on terror”.. The triangulation methods are much better these days, it used to be about 500 yards that they could pinpoint you too, I bet it’s much less these days.
I believe in the US 90% of all new phones bylaw have to include a GPS transponder. For terrorist reasons no doubt.
A cousin of mine in the US showed the GPS display on his screen which he could zoom down to the point where he actually had the plans for his house with his little blob up on the screen and when he moved from one room to the next so did the blob. I shit you not.
Nearest 500m? Nearest five fucking centimetres more like.
Was down to 1.5- 4.5 metres 4 years ago.
No, you’re both confusing GPS systems with the radio signals. GPS receive signals using satellites so that you can find your position with suitable mapping software. Your GPS does not transmit your location. However all phones call back to the nearest phone mast to pick up a signal and do this repeatedly, using two or more masts they can get an indication of where you are. It depends on the density of the masts and the technology.
Aye. I know the phone calls back to the nearest masts so that they can triangulate you if necessary. But it ain’t going to be a great feat of programming to have the phone relay the GPS co-ordinates back at the same time as it’s alerting the nearest transmitter where it is.
Is it.
bet theres no signal up harman’s fanny box
GPS technology +- 5M circular error of probability dependent on the GPS board manufacturer, can be as good as 1M for consumer products (better for military and fuzz). GSM triangulation up to 100M CEP in cities. Free GSM triangulation service to track your wife and enemies of the state available–leave contact details here. Also GSM cell blockers to sabotage Labour meetings available.
they must think us northerners are goin te fall fur this crap ap thingywhatsit..
we weren’t born yesterdee yous no
They all do, Iphone buyers aren’t very bright you know. Come to think of it, that’s probably why Labour are doing it.
You’ll have me. You want me. Yeah you do, you want me bitch. Yeah. You want me. Touch my screen. You like that baby? Yeah.
Surprise surprise CCHQ have no policy.
Jes, and this bunch of muppets are credible for winning and running our country.
I’m a Tory, cringing with shame at their total ineptitude at anything. Should I ask for a refund on my annual membership? I have no wish to but this is really despairing.
No wonder they are in politics and not the City. City folk are pretty shrewd and clued up.
Now if politics paid more perhaps you’d find a few more organ grinders in Parliament and not those monkeys pretending to be everything they are not.
“I’m a Tory, cringing with shame at their total ineptitude at anything”
Oh for fuck sake’s troll, change the record….
Oh why don’t you show the party faithful a policy or two?
Honestly sticks and stones. Hardly a troll. Just a totally baffled Tory voter who fails to understand why these people are in politics being paid to oppose when frankly they cannot do anything.
Let some real people in and let them have a crack at initially opposing the useless Labour party and then running the country which they are all destroying.
There a millions who think like me and probably a good percentage of the Tory Party.
Carry on like this an UKIP and I hate to say it, but the BNP will do well.
Shouldn’t you have pissed off to Switzerland by now ?
Or are you one of the crap ones in RBS ?
Don’t you worry my son, we, the talented ones, shall all be off have no fear.
We’ll let you muppets pay for the failures of these socialists, and the failures of the Opposition to do their job in opposing since 1997.
Enjoy the hung Parliament, enjoy the ensuing chaos and when you decide it is time for the earners to be welcome home we might return.
In the meantime enjoy the nonsense of being unable to protect your family, home and chattels. Enjoy the immigration of unemployables and future terrorists. Enjoy funding the feckless, idle, uneducated. Enjoy the increases in Council Tax, VAT, Income Tax and the host of Stealth taxes which are looming. Enjoy the absurd property prices, food prices, energy prices and the new broadband tax and the troughing MP’s and “Lords”. (What a joke they are).
Feel free to explain to the pensioners who have worked their butts off why they will have a deteriorating standard of living please but don’t expect to do so in a pub as there won’t be any left.
And should you fall ill, hope your driver can find a car park space at the local NHS hospital and if lucky can pay for it. Certainly I hope you don’t catch MRSA during your stay and you find a translator who can advise you of your illness.
This country is a joke.
We are the laughing stock of the world. And, after all your obscene taxes are paid, hopefully your cheap (hahaha) air ticket takes you somewhere nice in the sun for a couple of weeks a year to help you forget your miseries.
Toodlepip me old mucker.
I’m fully paid up Unite/Labour member and I think Gordon is the best PM ever.
I’m not a fully paid up member of anything and I think you’re a twat.
Actuall you are a fully paid up Huhne.
“City folk are shrewd and clued up ”
so how come you lost all that money at the banks ? Twat.
The Bankers lost YOUR money knowing that YOUR government HAD to consider them too big to fail.
The collapse after Lehman on the markets for stocks and commodities created bargain basement prices for those with liquidity (often those in the know) with a subsequent stealth bull market since March 2009.
The crash has made a lot of bankers very rich indeed in personal terms.
YOUR future taxes have enabled the creation of juicy bonus pools of the survivors who look out on a bank and investment world with fewer competitors for the next few years.
The Bankers are extremely shrewd and clued up.
Really ?
So given Lehman’s was one of the biggest banks going, why was it allowed to fail ?
Incompetent mangement not conspiracy , or are all those green lizards bankers too ?
Strong gossip was that not only was the Lehman CEO a total Dictator with a very overbearing attitude towards regulators, they also held just about all of the overseas investments of one Hugo Chavez. Not been on the White House Xmas card list for some time.
Cui bono, you are of course correct, Lehman should have been saved and the Crock and the 2 Scottish banks should have been allowed to go to the wall. But our dithering PM loved to lick your asses and showered his favours upon you all. You’ve still got a hold on him because he’s afraid to give you a proper kicking which you all deserve.
Maybe his mate Barry Obama will give him some backbone with his actions against the US banks. Nah, on second thoughts he’ll never develop a backbone but I do look forward to Barry’s fight with your mates in the states.
“Shrewd and clued up” eh.
Would that be the skillset you and your Wall Street mates employed to bring on the greatest financial disaster since ’29 perhaps? Sliced and diced trailer park junk mortgage, re-rated AAA, passed on +500% and leveraged beyond belief.
City scum helped by Labour cabinet conmen = immeasurable ruin and destruction.
Your lot should all be in court, stripped of political power, assets, bonuses, fees and uplifts, with your toxic banks liquidated.
Capitalism’s renewal first needs an Augean clean-out .
“City folk are pretty shrewd and clued up”
…and my best customers, they love a good beating.
As usual all talk and no action.
Even the Frenchies can organise a riot.
So you are unhappy with the bankers? Well do something instead of being the pub bore. In the meantime head back to your slave box and keep paying debt slave.
OT
Drink driving down 16% december. I knew there was another reason for having no grit
I thought i-phones were for complete wankers.
Oh, hang on………they are.
Hang on a sec, I’ve got one…..
Please let it be Lord Kinnock of Anywhere……anywhere but here.
I hear they’ve found a cure for erectile dysfunction.
That was a long time coming.
Are there not young Catholic lads for you to corrupt with your poison?
Millions of pounds worth of technology, thousands of man hours writing software, many hours of training for users, all so they can be told to fuck off by target voters.
It will be a very loud fuck off.
And nul points from Norway!
Not at all – I think Norway shows us the way in giving Labour a good send off…
‘Gordon Brown? Gordon Brown? Can you hear me? Jacqui Smith. Nye Bevan? Lord Kinnock. Lady Kinnock. We’ve beaten you all… Lord Mandelson, Lord Martin, Baronness Uddin, Tony Blair….We gave your boys one hell of a beating…’
Let the parodies commence.
Nice one.
.-.. .- -… — ..- .-. / .. … / … …. .. -
Labour is shit
Yup agreed
- …. .. … / – .- -.- . … / .- –. . … / -. … / .– — -. -.. . .-. / .– .– ..— / – — — -.- / -…. / -.– .-. … / – — / .– .. -.
T….I…/–AKE…/A–.E…/N…/.–—NDER/.–.–..—/–——K/-…./-.–R…/–—/.–IN
??
- …. .- – … / . .- … -.– / ..-. — .-. / -.– — ..- / – — / … .- -.–
This should be a laugh if nothing else. Do you think they are going for a spring election?
They ain’t got the money to compete with the Tories for the next 5 months. They seem to be trying to tell us unemployment is down and crime too. Tomorrow they’ll probabaly be saying we’ve never had it so good. Announce the election beginning of Feb…they’ll think it willl be a level playing field.
Otherwise we got to put up with this shit until May/June. Please an election now…..
O/T but perhaps not
I particularly like Straw’s appearance at Chilcot(taking place as we speak)so far he’s blamed the Americans;the French;Germans and the Mexicans although Blair and he strove for aUN Resolution(despite American delaying tactics) right until the end apparently and the “dodgy dossier” was regrettable in hindsight(!!!).
Straw is answering questions put to him with a fair amount of waffle that often doesn’t address the points that are put to him. You can see he has no real answer to some of them. I felt his failure to deal with the question of inspections having needed more time was telling.
If the decision to go to war had already been made, then another nine weeks or so would simply have meant the US/UK missing the invasion window. I remember thinking to myself at the time that Blair and Bush would go early in the year, before the Iraqi summer. That was why they began hostilities in January during the first Gulf war, and why they wouldn’t allow more time for inspections or diplomacy the second time around.
The election will be as late is is possible…. Brown will not have the courage to do it any other way… He’s always waiting for “something to turn up” to help his chances.
The only other possibility I see is a manufactured crisis of some kind where he feels able to postpone the election as a matter of security or “in the nations interest” or some other bullshit.
foot & mouth shutting down the countryside? On message Alcy Aida UK spectacular? Locusts?
Level playing field ?
I thought most of the playing fields had been built on because schools had to sell them to make ends meet.
You misunderstood me. I said ‘Levelled’ playing field.
Black is white. War is Peace.
You’re wrong and I’m right.
Derek Wyatt already has one in beta – search MyMP on the app store
Its a start, doesn’t look like a campaigning one, maybe someone is actually serious about being an MP
So, expect to see this app in 2110 at a cost of at least £1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,…etc.
Move on now,there’s nought to see here.
all of this iphone stuff is completely irrelevant anyway: the membership of the new labour torture party and the tory millionaire party has decreased so it won’t make any difference if they give a bunch of ponces new software applications.
FUCK THESE LOSERS VOTE INDEPENDENT FOR A DEMOCRATIC APPLICATION
(yawn).
oh dear that the best you can do cripple?
fucking do one you no mark.
thankyou.
innit
What a piss head.
Tut Tut, still not behaving are we? If you don’t shut up, I will have to post about the further adventures of Tropical Fish Tank Boy.
you are definitely a delinquent alright…. top marks there.
gobble gobble
Vote indy, get Brown.
(yawn)….scratch..fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap.
Couldn’t put it better myself
Please post the address of the independent party and the name of its leader I am keen to get a copy of its manifesto
That response will not encourage me to vote for your preferred candidate so you can get lost .
Who is the idiot now?
Ah that’s why the gummint has just removed the licence restrictions on distribution of Ordnance Survey/Postcode data. For their own app.
They are also lifting licence restrictions on other datasets (data.gov.uk) so we can expect more cheap stunts of this nature in the near future.
Saw the fraudster Brown being interviewed about Simon Cowell’s charity record for Haiti.
Brown gave the “weird smile thing” twice – this man is so away with the fairies,he must be locked away in his bunker each night and then woken at 5am for the drugs to be able to take effect.
For me,this IT crap will be worthless – the thing I am waiting for are the TV Debates – Brown will be found out good and proper.
By the end of the first debate run by that smug Alistair Stewart,you will see a white towel landing on the stage – they will know it’s all over within the first hour.
Not so fast. It will be just a longer version of PMQ.
Candidates will be asked pre-agreed questions and Brown will answer with ‘playing fields of Eton’, ‘airbrush’ and outright lies and rigged statistics.
Cameron should just develop a ‘cold’ and let Hague take his place.
“They want it to sync to local campaign events using GPS and postcode data, have a mobile version of their Virtual Phone Bank enabling a user to phone target voters plus have linkage into Facebook and Twitter.”
Sounds awful. Awful for both parties. Depressing. Futile. Remote from any process that could lead to a good decision being made. A sniff of Democracy’s bowel gas.
I think losing the SUN’s support will be much harder to overcome than trying to get I-Phone and Blackberry users to switch to, or back to the Total Control freaks.
This is gonna be a great app! Find out where the labour events are, turn up, and shout “Vote Labour fascism for a 2nd Glorious decade of total law enforcement.”, while wearing a “Gordon stole my pension, so all i have left is this lousy T-shirt” Tshirt.
Mwa ha ha, it will be such a monumental own goal, no labour groups will want to submit their little meetings to HQ to appear on this shitty little app.
Vapourware, like so many of Labour’s promises.
Beware of Labour Malware. Dangerous if you go into the woods expecting to come out alive!
“With Labour’s record on IT projects Guido will bet it over-runs on cost and doesn’t work properly…”
I’ll see your “over-runs on cost and doesn’t work properly” and I’ll raise you a “collect all your personal data on one giant database, load it onto a laptop, and leave it on a train”.
The LibDems are experimenting with tin cans and string..
Can I have one on expenses?
So, what should we call it, this marvellous new Labour ‘app’? Apparently, they can’t think of a snappy name for it.
How about iLose ?
Labour needs your help: go on, come on over, and share your ideas
iOU800bn?
iWash?
ispeakshite
Labour Party App – iMBroke
Labour apparatchik App – iSPAD
Or even iSPAZ
gordon brown: ilose.
iShit
Alastair Darling App – i-MF
LOL!
frau jackie schmidt: idcards bitte!
iBoots
(taptaptap) BRRRRIINNGG BRRRRRIIINNGG!!! (squeetle) iKRIPPLE!!!
iSpin, or possibly iLie.
iRobot
iNo…
Fucking delicious!
iOne…or Eye1
Blimey!
I wrote at about 5.25pm this evening;
“One i”
and it has now been removed!
Weird.
Labour MP John Mann said: “The idea that a millionaire like George Osborne would breach the rules to claim extra taxpayers’ money will rightly offend millions of hard-working families and it is deeply embarrassing for a man who wants to run the nation’s finances.
“David Cameron has made a lot of promises on expenses but he can have no credibility on the issue if he is too weak to make his shadow chancellor apologise in full for playing the system in this way.”
HEAR ! HEAR !
APOLOGISE NOW MR OSBORNE
Whistleblower– Osborne thinks it would be rude to apologise before the crooks
Darling and Hoon take their turn
Right he should! just after all the Government thieves do so! as they are in power and set the laws and rules we are forced to live by but still steal everything that’s not nailed down.
Whistleblower is the worst Labour troll on here. His grandad used to fiddle with him, have pity.
Giving Gordon a kick in the head – There’s An App For That
What a laugh! I think most of their core vote think that an app is when you have to visit the benefits office again!
Once the app is out, every tory activist will download it.
This is an Application that has been on Jaqui Smith’s iPhone for a while:
http://lakelandersview.blogspot.com/2009/05/more-expenses-claims-revealled.html
Gordon Brown inhabits me!!
I thought appathy had only one “p” in it.
Whatever.
I’ve just got hold of a “cast iron guarantee” app and will forward it to David Cameron “the toff”
I am rewriting Iraq history on behalf of Jack Straw on PM, it’s the right Labour thing to do!!
What a fecking twat I am!!
Quite right – It was all the Tories fault – Dennis I mean nobody expected them to believe what I told Duncan-Smith surely and troop through the government lobby almost to a man/woman ? I mean I made it as preposterous as I could in the forward to THAT dossier- 45 minutes and all that – and he still believed me unlike Charlie Kennedy when I fed him the same line. Some people are SO gullible. I ask you !Like taking sweets from babies !!!
Jack the Straw, Mr 1441.
Everything I have seen of IT projects tells me that the Lib Dems have the best idea with string and cans. IT Directors are responsible for my religious faith – survival of the fittest cannot possibly explain their existence.
Ah, you work in the Civil Service!
Gordon Stalin Brown would have an “app” fitted in each citizens anoose if he could get away with it
The man who took a carrier bag full of bricks to a party instead of beer really thinks he has a duty of control to prevent non Brownian behavoir
Did he really do that?
This is interesting – how about some posters of the boy Brown showing his meanness and benefit fiddling stuff?
Start with the bounced cheque for his 2/6d a week student digs rent. His landlord kept it …. framed.
“They want it to sync to local campaign events using GPS and postcode data”
So it’s another way for Labour activists to talk to each other instead of communicating with the electorate? Great!
funny guido , Ian dale (liked his comment on election night)has news of Labour Mps voting themselves a break in FEB , round valentines day , and now an app , does this suggest march ?? Very labour to high tech yet only be able to reach people wealthy enough to afford a £250 mobile , no doubt everyone else will get an SMS or be twittered to death .
I note harriet has flopped , but where was milliband , pretty serious stuff not being able to fund embassies unless that is you are brooching EU ones.
They still seem intent on making the EU idea work , without a vote , I could weep at how they would sell us off so easily.
Try bunging more than 15 quid on a Feb election at Paddy Power and see what happens…
Avoids Darling having to present a budget with all those tax increases and public expenditure cuts so it makes sense and catches the “political journos” like Robinson out. No doubt he’ll be appearing on the Daily Politics show or whatever and say something along the lines of “I can say that in confidence I have been told by sources close to Downing Street that there is absolutely no chance of a February election !” Andrew Neil: “Sorry to interupt Nick but we’re going live to James Landale outside No 10 as we’ve got live pictures of Gordon Brown on his way to the Palace apparently to seek a Dissolution with an election date of 25th February!”
Exactly. Bung your money on Feb, while you can…
As the old saying goes
” A fool and his money are soon parted”
My mother told me that it was, “a fool and his monkey are soon parted.” Although she had a thing about monkeys.
No chance. Brown knows his proles will not turn out on a cold February day.
…..and fuck up in general
Can I just add that Harriets tactic of bringing this “Class War” Rhetoric to the fore again proves that she is one of the biggest idiots in the New Labour Box. She is constantly putting her foot in it and frequently looks like a rabbit caught in headlights when being called to account for her stupidity.
Keep doin what your doin Mrs Dromey …..keep doin what your doin.
harriet harnan mp: idiot.
jacjie spliff mp: idcardsbitte.
A rose is a rose is a rose.
Amazing isn’t it. Blair had to fire her within months of giving her the social security ministry when he won in 1997 owing to her complete incompetence. Yet now, I’m told, she’s in the frame to take over from Brown. They really are a joke.
looks like a fantastique challenge for a software virus designer.
Making available phone numbers of voters they want to target sounds like a potentially weighty breach of data protection (depending on how those numbers were gathered etc)
Yes, that was my first impression. Great for the Tories, though – they can use the app to target Labour swing voters along the folowing lines:
“Hello, is that Mr. Lardarse? I’m calling from Labour HQ to check that you’ll be voting for us next week. As you know, we’ll have to make some cutbacks to your Housing Benefit, dole money and cheeseburger vouchers but… Click…. Mr. Lardarse? Are you still there?”
Legal if using names from electoral register for election purposes and they are not TPS registered and you can find them in phone book, or are TPS registered but have given number voluntarily during canvassing – but don’t blame me if you get arrested.
The Times “Straw: I considered resigning over Iraq war’
I considered having a shit in a plant pot after drinking a bottle of sherry at my cousins engagement, luckily I drank half a bottle of Malibu and shit my pants
Laughing at that one – brilliant image!
Straw:
“I considered resigning over Iraq war, but then I thought “Fuck’em”. I’ll just keep the Minister’s salary and perks, then stick in a big fat claim to boot.”
And above all else – we must get “Gordon Is A Moron” to number one!
David William Donald Cameron
Bit of a mouthful that,he hates being called “Billy”
Everyone who I know called Gordon stop using it when they get older because it is associated with poofs. Brown was baptised James but prefers Gordon. I wonder why .
It is no mystery to me.
he needed the second d to interrupt the w and the c. as in ‘he’s in d w c.’
ANNOUNCEMENT FROM APP CO-DEVELOPER
For those who are interested in knowing these things, the ‘app’ is actually a ZX81 emulator which auto-runs a Sinclair BASIC program John Prescott has been writing after going to night school in Hull, where spangly new fangled 8-bit computers are the latest thing. Indeed, the ZX81 is the ideal choice of machine, because it does not display lower case letters, giving the appearance the application is shouting at, or hectoring, the user, in the style of Harriet Harman. It is also cheap, easy to find at car boot sales, and uses a version of BASIC “any fool” can program, meaning this is one project that stands a realistic chance of coming in under time and budget.
Unfortunately, Prezza isn’t just “any fool” and the application as it stands contains a few bugs which are doing John’s nut in. As soon as these are rectified by the former deputy PM, the app will be rolled out via Micronet.
In the meantime, John would like to ask if anyone on here knows how to nest a FOR … NEXT loop, or if there is a simple POKE he can enter to get rid of the T Rex in 3D Monster Maze as it always seems to get him. Also, does anybody have a piece of Blu-tack with which he could stabilise his RAM pack?
Thank you in advance.
ANNOUNCEMENT ENDS
They’ve got Charles Hardwidge on the case.
He reckoned he developed Doom 10 years before id Software did.
Is that you Charles?
Pressplop didn’t write that program , he stole it from the INPUT magazine wk No.46 page 5 next to the article about cheat codes for Manic Miner.
O/t Simon Cowell to make a record for Haiti appeal
McBust exempts it from VAT and gives it the curse of death !
Max Clifford say’s it’s a time for ego’s to go out the window !
yeh right Simon Cowell , ego out the window !
Dont make me piss !
only took ten days to get round to it !
Lazy Labour MP’s
http://iaindale.blogspot.com/2010/01/lazy-labour-mps-vote-for-longer-holiday.html
Enough to make you sick! There are a lot of us trying to work out how much tax we owe the bastards. Hard earned money, so they can piss it up against the wall.
Why Scotish language differs from English !
yes means no
increase means decrease
I did nothing wrong means i am a fucking crook
it’s the right thing to do means a total lie
a rise in real terms means a cut in real terms
We will protect your jobs means your factory is doomed
Unemployment is falling means it is rising
I followed the rules means i commited a criminal act
and so on !
We English have been truly Prufrocked !
Vote for Gorrrdon and keep oor Buckfast benefits.
I always have an app at pmq’s
Bap, surely?
Followed by a crapp
My phone has a cracker app – iWank.
“Moron shall speak crap unto moron”, the motto of the BBC as it happens.
Hands up who here thinks Gordo and his beard Sarah have bumped uglies?
Anyone?
*GIANT TUMBLEWEED ROLLS BY*
Sarah is not a beard. She was hired to improve his image.
Marriage improved his image.
What does that imply?
OT
I was half asleep watchin the Iraq charade today, but did Jack really say that information was not given to the cabinet because they ” could not be trusted as they sometimes natter to their friends in the press” ???
Sitting with someone who has no interest in politics while he was on the news,
“He’s not still a politician is he?”.
“Yes”
“Not in the governement though?”
“Yes, Justice Minister”
“No wonder we’re fucked”
Yup -similar line to Campbell last week as to why Clare Short was kept out of the loop on reconstruction in the aftermath(she was only Minister for International Development after all)Blair didn’t trust her or anybody outside his “Sofa Cabinet”
Interesting – Osvborne declaring they will foloow Obama’s tough stance on banks if (when?) elected.
Just wait for Brown to come out and say that Obama’s tough measures actually……
“started in Britain”.
C*unt
re prev thread . e spy=e lie.
A nice change to have a Downfall redub about Obama’s problems for a change.
O/T Iris Robinson to face criminal investigation by police !
It’s a good job she’s suddenly found out she is Mad
otherwise they might have prosecuted her
Once they find she is to fucking barking mad to be responsable for her actions she will make a miraculous recovery !
So cynical. Are you a yummy young man perchance? Yummy!
A Labour Party i-phone App!
MPs can’t afford i-phones any more having blown expenses on blow.
Labour Apparachniks too uncreditworthy to get one on contract.
Ah! 75,000 criminals to be released early before election ( there’s a core vote for you). They can nick the i-phones and supply the pink mob as quid-pro-quo for the fact that they will all sign on for benefit between now and (May20th?).
Please note: If you wish to buy a cell-signal blocker-leave your temporary contact here ( get a g.mail or yahoo address).
Sorry to be a bore – but just how will any of this help any party?
with workers on the ground busy trying to work out how to use the damn things, just what will it achieve. OOh show me you GPS position and I’ll show you mine’ !
And I assume that to be any use to anyone they all have to have the phone in the first place.
Just what is the point? huh?
Internet – digital – electronic — yadda yada yadda. pointless.
The internet is useful – like when it expose the lies about Bush’s military service, like where it exposes AGM to wider scrutiny.
But come on lets get real.
Clapham Common is really dark at night, a GPS would be handy
Labour is saying tonight that they are planning , with their iPhone app, to emulate the campaign that Omaha waged and won. Pie in the sky!
They don’t seem to understand there are very fundamental differences between gordon and Omaha.
Omaha was a charismatic new boy on the block unsullied by office as opposed to gordon who is a dowdy, incompetent , much disliked incumbent of the no.10 bunker.
Omaha built an impressive legion of campaigners and campaign funds whereas labour is struggling to find supporters and they are already £30million in the red.
Omaha came across as fit, dynamic and attractive – gordon is looking decidedly ragged, stressed and increasingly eccentric.
There are persistent, very public, rumours that surround gordon’s personality – that his marriage is a cover-up for his gay past (if true that’s blatant dishonesty) , that he is heavily dependent on medication because of depression, that he has a violent temper , that he is socially inept. Omaha did not have these immense pr obstacles to overcome.
iPhone app or not – gordon can’t win.
Aa’ve bin looking at sky for past half hour and no pies yet.
There’s something you’ve forgotten or, I suspect, something that has never ocurred to you: Obama could never have won in England. I wonder why when all it takes is hard work to get to the top . . .
Now get back to the banjo
They were saying the same thing in America before he did win!
However colour is not the issue here – gordon is – you don’t say whether you think he can win here in Britain? So what d’you think?
Sounds like Winnie Mandela…
“With our iPhone Apps we shall liberate South Africa”
“One IPhone, one settler”
etc etc
WRONG! (as Brown would say)
Brown is not “much disliked” – he is HATED – absolutely HATED by millions of Britons and this is why he will be demolished in any election that he will eventually be forced to call.
You’ve hit the nail on the head -Brown IS hated by large swathes of the electorate and they will vote not so much to elect Cameron but to punish Brown and Labour.Never underestimate the power of the negative vote in British politics
what is interesting is that less than 50% of Labour voters trust the Labour party.
Nell,agreed.
Liebour and communication technology are strange bedfellows,they have proved beyond doubt that everything they touch in this area turns to billions of pounds worth of shite.
Their level could be in another area altogether,but the fire brigades need to be on alert (Smoke Signals)
“Fucking up the country: Theres an app for that”
So the Conscientious objector,Coward Jack (White Feather) Straw
Say’s that if he had said No to war
Neither the cabinet or the commons would have voted for it
So He alone is responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of muslims
and all our troops !
Wonder how the muzzies feel about living on his patch now ?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article6997260.ece
gordon is having enough trouble getting his message across through the usual channels – I think he’ll find digital way beyond him.
Yesterday in PMQ’s he said he was increasing spending and introducing new measures to combat terrorism. His dear friend, Mrs Kinnock, at about the same time, told the HoL that millions were being cut from FO budgets that were dedicated to countering terrorism on the A++fghan/p+++akistan border.
I don’t think an iPhone app is going to rescue gordon from these, almost daily, self destructive holes he keeps getting into.
Just another reason to erase this awful man from all of our lives – he truly is an evil man.
I USED to call Channel 4 News “Asian News” for a joke. Now it really is.
and now we have 8 million economically inactive people in the UK great job Labour FFS
There is a rumour that the unemployed will have Labour membership paid by the government.
Gordon Brown (Autistic Clown) will pay for it by cutting the defence budget.
Watch out we are coming
My name is Duncan and I am member DIGITAL LABOUR
Not the famous Duncan Mc Uregardengro ?
Labour – full of scottish shit.
I am known as Digital Duncan in Labour circles, watch and learn slack boy
Digital.
I suppose that’s because you are sat with your finger stuck up your arse.
Tiscan minarchists aimed at sally m.
Come on Guido, sort it out: we’re lashing out some serious corn for this. Or possibly not, of course.
Guido,
my work here is done.
I was winding the trolls up last time but now I really am leaving for good; there is nothing more I can possibly say to influence the vote.
my efforts have been heroic and if anyone wonders whether blogs can influence a general election campaign my contributions to this place prove beyond any doubt that they can. I am confident that the fruit of my labours and genius will be a hung parliament.
I would like to thank you for allowing me the opportunity to express my views here because let’s face it, no other blog would have allowed me the freedom that you have.
you’re alright Fawkes, you are a bastion of free speech and your blog is the best political blog in the country, by a country mile.
very best regards,
thick as thieves.
tat really is all folks.
end of communication.
coward
Hung parliament – nope I don’t think so – too many lies and too much political ineptitude on labour’s part for them to hold more than a minimum of seats.
But here’s best wishes Tat for your metamorphosis into something nice.
Tat – please come back: Order Order without your perpetual presence will be as strangely disappointing as visiting Taunton and not seeing a charva.
Sorry TT but what’s a charva?
Original name for a chav.
Farewell tat, don’t forget to vote, and if the parliament doesn’t get hung, be man enough to call back and admit your were wrong
Tat’s a shame.
Don’t go ffs. What am I meant to do with all these drugs?
gobble gobble sausages, if my nemisis leaves then i will have no reason to exist any more…….oh dear looks like i have to leave as well.
IT’S BEEN FUN
remember to vote labour lol
xxx
you can always reply to all your own posts like a massive tit like you were caught doing in the last thread concrete pump
Farewell. You had some fine moments. But a lot of tedious shit too.
9 out of 10 vote owners who expressed a preference said they could shove their aps up Gordon’s bottom where the only thing to shine is mandy’s nose.
The link for the BFPO petition mentioned further up the thread is
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/SaveBFPO/sign
Deadline June 9th 2010
Done.
Do you think the unelected git reads all the names off a huge list he has next to his bed in his single bedroom in the attic each evening and gives them to MI5 for phone tapping,satellite pass overs etc?
Just seen the prototype its called iLie and can be downloaded from knobsRus
You need a TWIT account
Plus a handle like
i reserved for G Brown (G Brown)
or
iRule (Mandelbum)
ithieve1-646 (reserved for MP’s)
ithieve_more1-100k (reservded for Europe)
Bet we can get some more of these going
How about an iPhone with an inbuilt .45 calibre barrel to deliver one tap to the head
iGiveUp
McMental is getting the “goodbye phone” as a leaving present
Its wooden and cant bounce back
I think they should give him the desk out of no.10 as a leaving present – he’ll need it to sit at in his lonely kirkcaldy house when he’s lost the next election – It will make him feel that he’s still important! Thing is his hands might still be superglued to it – so best let him have it!!!
chin superglued to boglid when sarahs pegging him much more appropriate gift to send him home with…along with one of your hobnobs of course.
Where did these hobnobs come from ? I cook chocolate chip cookies or honey & apricot oatcakes . And I wouldn’t send even one of them to gordon!!
Not even poisoned?
It’s the cost of flour and sugar and stuff these days – inflation in respect of food is just awful !!!!
Nice image
Him reaching for the “red phone” to Obama
or Putin from his chilly moth eaten scottish house
“Hullo Hullo?”
No reply , he then trudges down to primark for new underpants and some mittens
Do they have a Primark in Kirkcaldy? Apparently not
http://www.thestorefinder.co.uk/stores.aspx?store=Primark&location=Kirkcaldy
But they do have an ALDI, where underpants and mittens can often be had in the men’s section, between the trolley jacks and paintbrushes
are they the fully loaded undies
Phone call for Mr McMental
Excellent GUY NEWS.
Loved Clegg’s impersonation of Cameron.
LibDems must feel ridiculous.
Clegg scores hits on Broon while Dave falls on his arse at PMQs every week
You are a shit but making an educated guess I would not bet on your name being dave.
I think that any technology that allows Fabian Solutions to bombard the electorate with his (or her) incomprehensible garbage is to be applauded.
I am sure that it will prove the deciding factor in the majority of cases.
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/gordon-brown-toilet-roll-toilet-paper-50-million-pound-toilet-roll.html
hahahahaah Priceless
Just the thing after a bit of quantitative easing, I dare say.
hahahahah even better
David Cameron “I’ll cut the deficit, not the NHS”
Promises to spare NHS and schools from cuts ‘insane’ says audit chief
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/jan/21/nhs-schools-cuts
Bundred of course is a Labour appointed public servant desperately spinning to keep his job as the conservatives move into power!!!
Not one word he says can be relied upon because everything he said was to try and save is own sorry +ss!!!!!
still munching those turnips nell
any fool knows you can’t ringfence the NHS and schools then expect cuts to be anything but cosmetic
looks like Dave will be going for tax rises to cover the deficit
that should be popular
‘Audit Chief’ my arse. A more appropriate description of Bundred would be former Arthur Scargill NUM underling, ex Labour GLC councillor (a la Ken), rotten borough trougher and all round New Labour bully. Named by EU investigators for his role covering up scams involving bogus EU funded training companies run by his then Labour mates on Camden Council when he was boss there yet appointed by Labour to head the Audit Commission in order to make crap Labour Council’s look good against ever more fanciful measures (check out the Mills / Jowell connection). Ask the folks at Private Eye for the low down on this Bundred guy; he has a dodgy record as long as your arm. When the Tories get into power they need to root out and all these Labour plants in the civil service and quangocracy.
Wow – Brown will be going ballistic tonight with Omaha ignoring the world’s worst economist before he announced his truly massive spanking of the banks.
Await to hear him claim tomorrow on the sofa at hardhitting and hard interviewing GMTV that indeed he HAD called Omaha to recommend this action.
Brown is now so far gone he will be claiming he is the immaculate conception pretty soon.
Bonkers Brown.
And little Goergie Porgie has agreed with Obama about breaking up the Banks
Shame he can’t look after his own finances without expenses fiddling
Breaking news: brown changed his mind and will appear before chilcott before the election
not quite
he agreed after sending Chilcott a letter saying they could call him
nothing to do with stitching Blair up, if as the rumours suggest, Blair tries to shift all blame to Brown in a desperate attempt to get himself out of a warcriminal hole and help Miliboy’s Leadership Campaign after the election
Gordon Brown ‘to give Iraq evidence before election’
Going to be interesting hearing his bumbling account
To 287.
Broon giving evidence to Chilcot before election,is this true or rumour?.
was on the news so it’s true
“Mr Brown, are you bonkers?”
Was on BBPravda!
Obama
Less than 18 hours after getting a drubbing in Mass, Obama acts in a fit of pique to uber-regulate the US banks to stop what he considers ‘reckless trading.’
Does Mr I’ve-Never-Had-A-Proper-Job-In-My-Life Obama think he can take on the Wall Street and win?
Oh dear, change is going to come in 2012.
George Osborne agres with him
Don’t be so sure. The banking system only survived because politicians believed that they would be blamed for its collapse.
The problem with Wall Street is it believes all poker games can be won by a raise; in truth, many are won with a better hand
Aye
The banks NEED uber regulation!!!
How does one differentiate between an iphone virus and a labour iphone app?
[...] iCampaign Hots Up Labour has an iPhone App scheduled for release in early February. Dithering is not the preserve of Downing Street, [...] [...]