January 18th, 2010

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View


  1. 1
    Anonymous says:

    Harsh but fair


    • 5
      Brown and out says:

      I would much rather that Gordon Brown was banned.


    • 40
      • 166
        DelBoy says:

        Is this a wind up? Who is he/she?
        Saw that Farage bloke on telly on Sunday. What a turd. The mouthy bint he was on with wiped the floor with him.


    • 54
      Anonymous says:

      Yes Gordon Brown should be made to wear a sack over his head.


      • 56
        Sarah Tweet says:

        full on family day with full on (delicious) traditional British Sunday lunch


        • 78
          Google says:

          English Sunday Roast 1,270,000 hits

          British sunday Roast 575,000 hits

          Looks like the Brown’s are trying to destroy English traditions and make them British.

          Will they be doing the same with Scottish traditions? I think not.
          The British Highland games and British Whisky come to mind.


          • Mr Ned says:


            Yeah, it is the British Andy Murray when he wins and the Scottish Andy Murray when he loses thing all in reverse.


        • 110
          jgm2 says:

          No false modesty from the Maximum Imbecile’s missus then. His proclavity for blowing his own trumpet is catching.

          I made a fucking delicious Sunday roast me. And I want you all to know about it.

          Did you save the world too Sarah? One roast potato at a time?


          • Rear Admiral says:

            Use Roosters, an Irish red potato, cut into almost ovoid shapes, boil until soft at the edges but not too soft to fall apart, rough them up a little by rolling around in a colander, or using a fork. Preheat Crisp ‘n Dry oil, or goose fat if preferred in a roasting pan, add potatoes and be generous with the salt. Cook at 200 electric for about 45′ – 55′, turning occasionally.


          • New Labour’s Faith Day dish. {replaces Sunday roast after 2011}

            Take national food of each of the 27 member states of the EU and mix together.
            Polish cabbage, French Onions, Spanish Oranges, Greek Yoghurt, Turkish Delight, Swiss Chocolate, Russian grain, German sausage, Dutch edam, Belgium sprouts, Irish potatoes, etc.

            Stir thoroughly until the mixture is viscous and difficult to separate.
            Leave to harden for a decade. Explain to masses that the dinner is inedible in its current form. Organise a new, more compatible Lisbon Menu. Appoint EU Super chef to supervise.


          • barefootcontessa says:

            Trust she followed Michael Caine’s recipe for roast potatoes. Michael Winner recommended!


        • 206
          Cheese Sandwich says:

          Did they ‘ave a curry, then?


      • 63
        TOO FAR says:

        Thick plastic, tied round the neck!


    • 91
      It's a cover up says:


      • 119
        Anonymous says:

        That woman is NOT British


        • 193
          Anonymous says:

          Being ‘able’ to raise issues that are directly connected with race and religion without fear of reprisals or being branded a racist is more important that the issue itself.


    • 231
      Charley Bourne says:

      Harsh and unfair.

      If you lived in my bit of West Londonistan you might agree with him.


  2. 2

    Jimmy Cagney/Bart Simpson hybrid?


  3. 3
    british media news for uk says:

    looking at this cartoon makes me feel very tired.

    still, here’s the news this morning for the UK

    1. haiti
    2. afghanistan
    3. royals in new zealand
    4. cricket in south africa


    • 11
      Koba says:

      Not forgetting benifits aren’t “Social Engineering”


      • 18
        Dave Blair says:

        not when they are given to bankers or millionaires like call me Dave they aren’t


        • 68

          Or, more importantly, when they are means tested and aimed squarely at shortening the fuse on the demographic time bomb that will exterminate Britishness forever, perhaps?


          • Labour lies and eats your life force says:

            well, if the brits dont make babies, they are commiting ethnic suicide.

            Its a choice, like women’s careers, birth control, abortion, divorce laws, attitudes to fathers.

            Lets face it. Who would marry a fat, burping, farting english girl who gets an arrow tattoed above her bum crack and banged at the office party. Well you could marry her but she will kick you out of your own house and never let you see your children.

            Designed by Labour. Lapped up by British voters.


          • Labour lies and eats your life force says:

            my recomendation, find a good foreign woman, settle down and start making british babies before Labour’s invaders take over.


    • 180
      Labour lies and eats your life force says:

      They say that adversity really brings out the best in a people’s character.

      It is so inspiring to see the people of Haiti, pulling together.

      I dont believe the stories of dead body stacking, machete gangs, looting and lynching.


  4. 6
    backwoodsman says:



  5. 9
    Chilcot says:

    Hot Powell anyone?


  6. 10
    Brown is banned by his own colleagues says:

    From The Daily Mail;

    “Mr Brown’s credibility as premier suffered yet another blow last night as Parliamentary Questions revealed that 12 Parliamentary Private Secretary posts remain vacant following last June’s Cabinet reshuffle, apparently because Labour MPs are refusing to serve under him”.

    Fancy a (unelected ) Prime Minister being so unpopular that his own Party walk around him like something on the pavement left by a dog.


  7. 14

    I must have missed something, but then once I see UKIP in the title I tend to look at the next story (when there is one)


  8. 19
    jgm2 says:


    Special mention for John Prescott and his stewardship of his constituency while part of the Labour government of all the imbeciles.


    The gap grew between the top and bottom of the economics rankings, it added.

    Hull had the highest percentage of people claiming jobseeker’s allowance while Cambridge had the lowest – but the gap between the two places nearly doubled in that time.

    Great work John. How do you find time to lecture the Chinese on anything? And do you never stop to consider what they think they’re buying ‘cos it sure as fuck ain’t what you think you’re selling.


    • 26
      Benny Fitz-Clements says:

      Two Jags and his ilk have done a magnificent job for the growth of Benny Fitz-Clements clan since 1997.

      Come and join us.


  9. 21
    concrete pump says:

    That’s probably R and M’s best cartoon yet, but don’t be too quick to have a pop at at Farage, He is an extremely engaging person, and an excellent orator.


  10. 27
    Not long until Labour gone says:

    Would love to see a televised debate between the UKIP and B-N–P, just to see how different they are.

    As it seems a fair few people will be passing their votes to these parties to let the main parties know their feeling towards immigration policy, it would help them make an educated decision.


    • 37
      Anonymous says:

      They already have.


    • 52
      albacore says:

      Wouldn’t we all, but it’ll happen only over the BBC’s dead body.
      Compare the two parties’ websites and you’ll see which is genuine and which, while stealing the other’s clothes, is as fake as a nine-bob note.


    • 188
      Labour lies and eats your life force says:

      I’d love to see a debate between UKIP, B.NP and Respect.


  11. 28
    Sir William Waad says:

    Who’s it supposed to be? It’s just a farrago.


  12. 35
    Hamspam Chowder says:

    For the avoidance of doubt, can I just explain that wearers of burkas are not berks.


  13. 38

    Another hilarious cartoon from Rich and Mark then.

    Lucky its only once a week i dont think I could take that much wit more often


  14. 39

    Why is Homer Simpson Wearing A Wig ?


  15. 41
    jgm2 says:

    This burka initiative from UKIP is surely the dictionary definition of a ‘blanket ban’?


  16. 42

    we need to declare all out campaign war on that little Ed Bollocks twot. He clearly doesnt recognise that trying to educate chavs with free laptops is social engineering. After all who wants that fucking lot competing for our jobs which they will probably get via some scum quota.

    And for another thing. I read yesterday that anyone who goes to university from a middle class family earning 50k plus would be hit with up to 7k in additional charges. I dont get it. Uni students are adults and fuck all to do with the govt what the parents earn. My duaghter casnt get the amount of loan she needs as she seems to have been means tested based on my salary. How can that be right?


  17. 46
    REEVO says:

    Most amusing, and fairly accurate “the British Public” hahaha thats a joke in itself. There is no such generalization in fact!

    The British People DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK what I wear as long as I am wearing something, which is very wise of them considering the freeze and the post Christmas lard I am currently trying to lose.


    • 126
      Tom Logan, Institute for Studies says:

      Have to agree there, I dont give a fuck really what people wear. So long as I can where a burkha next time I go on a pub crawl (more fun than dressing as a pirate i suppose!) i think its only fair that women can wear them if they see fit. One advantage of the burkha, no one can see how embarrassed you are when you are at wandering about in public looking like a berk! (sorry…….)

      However every time to do see some poor woman wandering about in her burkha i do have this urge to shout ‘help, help, Your being repressed!’ in a Monty Python styl-ee.


    • 191
      Labour lies and eats your life force says:

      Sorry. I dont like to see people living in Britain wearing foreign ethnic garb.

      Live in Britain, dress british or bugger off back, especially if you are uninvited.


      • 194
        thick as thieves says:

        so you want to tell women what to wear?
        that isn’t a British thing to say you dolt!
        the question is not the clothes it is whether or not women are being forced to wear them.
        you’re just as bad as the extremists.


      • 209
        REEVO says:

        Dress British…Now whatever could that be, dress like a Scot or even like a banana that I would recognize on sight.

        Talk British..Now whatever is that? from the post like a moron presumably.


  18. 47
    Purpleline says:

    Nor a Ukipper, but this is an excellent move by the party and will draw votes from the Tory party. Especially if the hate mob start to cuase trouble at Ukip events.

    Farage to beat Bercow now that would be the icing on the cake.


    • 53
      Angry Englishman says:

      Things are moving nicely in Bercow’s constituency – all nice and polite of course, but he will definitely be out. Voters here keep their thoughts to themselves, so polls are useless, but pub talk is all about getting Mr Bercow to spend more time with his family.


      • 70

        “Spend more time with family”
        Isn’t that what they say when they have to resign
        due to them being caught stuck up some rent boy in a public lav ?
        or on Clapham common
        Oh well i was walking home at 4am and i got caught short
        so i went into the bushes to relieve my self
        as i thrust my cock into the bush
        i realised that i had accidentally entered a young man
        who was tying his shoe lace in the bush
        and thats when the News Of The World photographer took a picture !


        • 158
          Mr Ned says:

          Get into the 21st century. Nowadays it is simply a different lifestyle choice and anyone who disapproves of a married minister putting his cock up a young boy of 16 on Clapham Common is a bigot who must be hounded out of the media.

          It was only sleazy when tories did it. Now it is behaving in a politically correct manner.


      • 73

        yes but his Mrs will be in parliament in amongst all that taxpayer funded booze. Once she falls off the wagon there should be some great pics of her voting with her feet (behind her ears)


      • 150
        Thats News says:

        but pub talk is all about getting Mr Bercow to spend more time with his family

        Yikes! That’s cruel!


  19. 48


    1) Can someone explain to Guido that Dominoes are things that you use to play games in pubs, and Domino’s is a type of pizza?

    2) Emily’s hair seems to get shorter every video, is she trying to morph into Melanie Phillips? (long hair = sexy; short hair = mad right wing woman)


  20. 50
    Just asking? says:

    Brown did a TV interview in regard to the governments emergency funding to Haiti (not the private donations sent in) and announced the UK government was sending money. Anyone per chance have a link to this interview as I cannot now find it anywhere?

    I know it would have been ITV or Sky as I never watch Pravda?I am not referring to the numerous newspaper articles on this subject but a specific intitial TV interview where the aid announcement was made and done in the last few days.


    • 157
      lol says:

      the right hoonarable douglas alexander has been doing the media rounds. he claims that the uk government is trebling the money to haiti from £6M to £20M. he said this was in addition to what the british people had raised, some £15M – WTF, isn’t the so called government’s money £20M our money as well, it’s our money not his or this lousy government’s!!!!

      just shows how they view the people of the UK – their money indeed!!!!!


  21. 51
    City of Vice says:

    O/T – Note to Dave: Please keep the likes of Michael Gove off the media if you are serious about winning this election with a decent majority. I heard Gove on radio 4 Today this morning banging on about the shoddy standard of woodwork teachers or some such micro-management tinkering at the edges shit and had to turn my radio off. How about taking schools out of central / local authority control altogher? The public finances and basic institutions of this country have been fucked by Labour, including the education system. We don’t need minor tweaking we need change. Surely CCHQ realise this? Are they so overrun by guilt ridden trendy metropolitan public schoolboy types they don’t realise that we ordinary proles demand red meat from the Tories this time round. Where the fuck are the new Tebbits and Thatchers?


    • 77
      albacore says:

      Sorry, they’re all on Common Purpose revision courses.
      Please hold for the next five years while we play variations of “To Joy” and “The Red Flag”.


    • 79
      David Attenborough says:

      Tebbit is the wrinkled pin up boy for the wrinkled right. It’s 2010, wake up.

      UKIP/old Tories are a fringe group and will never be in government.


      • 145

        At least Tebbit is not Blue Labour.

        > It’s 2010, wake up.

        Are you seriously suggesting that the next decade has to be more of New Labour’s policies (doused in a “cast-iron” Cameron blue rinse)? ::shudder:: where did I put those forms about emigrating to Australia?


  22. 55
    Dave's astonishing plan for Education revealed by Oiky Gove says:

    After Gove was forced to admit there would be no new money (of course) Gove and Dave’s masterplan for education was revealed to be …,,
    Dave will say he likes teachers.

    f*cking genius !

    The only profession the public respects less than politicians is bankers (though it’s like the choice between anthrax and bubonic plague) but Gove and Dave think if Dave says he likes teachers often enough that’s education sorted

    And you thought Blair was shallow ?
    Dave has less substance than transparent candyfloss

    You may now wail “Liebore Troll” for daring to criticise Dave on this supposedly politically independent website even though I think Bruin is a pile of rank shite and would never vote for these useless Liebore fools (such things matter not to the reactionary sheep)


    • 81

      Can anyone tell me One Just One Tory policy because i don’t know of any ?


      • 87
        cast iron guarantee says:

        no referendum on europe


        • 94
          Anonymous says:

          No more Grammar schools.


        • 124
          Snotsicle says:

          No, but he is going to try to negotiate (in the strongest possible terms) an option to schedule a discussion on whether the rest of the EU might actually not mind undoing the Lisbon treaty that they have spent so long ratifying.
          If he is successful then he may just allow us a non-binding referendum as long as certain pre-conditions are met, such as the French agreeing to never go on strike and the Gremans discontinuing the manufacture of Bratwurst.

          Can’t say fairer than that.


      • 97
        Anonymous says:

        No third runway at Heathrow


      • 100
        Anonymous says:

        Foreign aid not only to be ringfenced but increased.


      • 105
        CMD says:

        no more ties
        open those shirts


      • 108
        Anonymous says:

        They are convicted to man made global warming.


      • 125
        Carry on up the same road says:

        Carry on throwing money at the NHS at the same rate even though most of the money just goes to waste.


      • 147

        “Can anyone tell me One Just One Tory policy because i don’t know of any ?”

        Here’s a copy of the New Labour manifesto for 1997 – Dave’s just the same, but with a picture of President Cameron on the front.


      • 153
        Thats News says:

        81, just check through the list of policies Labour ‘borrowed’ from the Tories. There’s quite a few, there.


        • 182
          Mr Ned says:

          They are copying labour copying the tories.

          It is quite pathetic really.

          Cameron used to have a load of policies, I used to list them quite often on forums in defence of the tories, but now we are approaching a real election, he seems to be getting rid of the ones that were conservative.

          Labour abandoned the middle-class “mondeo man” voters in their class war, and are now abandoning their core, to pretend to appeal to the old “mondeo man” voters again.

          The more I see, the more I am convinced that neither party wants to win, but are too afraid of their puppet masters to admit it.

          I shall happily grant their wishes to lose and vote UKIP.


  23. 57
    Anonymous says:

    Is it Richard Nixon?


  24. 59
    George"Last of the Tory Trolls" Osborne says:

    I took a right load of shit last week at work.

    That’s what you get for working in a sewage farm.


  25. 62
    Sarah Tweet says:

    visited Tropical Forest at Syon Park today http://www.tropicalforest.co.uk/ – they have a giant tortoise that often wanders off like a nomad


    • 95
      Maladroit Labour Chump says:

      That woman has got some serious issues to deal with.

      She’s married to a total loser who’s got no genuine friends and who’s up there in the Top Three Most Hayed People in Britain.

      Gormless is 1st= with Tony Blair. No wonder she spends time twotting total gibberish.


    • 118

      of course she saw a giant tortoise she is married to the fucker. slow (witted). hard outer shell and ugly droopy face.


      • 131
        symbolism says:

        I got the impression that the “giant tortoise that often wanders off like a nomad” was a reference to her husband.


        • 151
          Hugh Janus says:

          Surely no one could confuse G McBust with a giant tortoise?

          One is slow and plodding who hides in his ‘home’ when the going gets tough and who has nothing relevant or convincing to say, and the other is a giant tortoise.


    • 241
      GORDON McBUST(and his amazing magic cheque book) says:

      Sarah 10 Soon to be Sarah p45


  26. 64
    Tapestry says:

    I see no serious attempt being made to win Buckingham.


  27. 65
    anon says:

    Having Rich & Mark on this website is akin to having a one legged Sunday league footballer playing for Real Madrid.

    Come on Guido, take them round the back & shoot them.

    They are using up valuable oxygen & site space.


  28. 66
    UKIP if you want to mate says:

    Farage made a total t-w-a-t of himself on yesterdays’s BBC Politics Show as an incredulous Jon Sopel and that asian women from Respect with the big gob(who sounds like Saira Khan wearing a Hijab)literally tore him to shreds.At one point Farage alleged that 200,000 Muslim women wear the Burka and when Sopel asked where he got the figure from as he’d been told it was 2,000 said that he’d go this info from “experts”but couldn’t name the actual “experts” or source for this allegation

    If you’re going to go for the BeeEnnPee vote Nigel at least try not to sound like a total idiot that’s making the facts up as you go alongwhilst you’re doing it !


    • 75
      Anon says:

      “Literally tore him to shreds”. He’s dead then?


    • 76
      Hugh Janus says:

      A pity that Sopel isn’t so fastidious when it comes to challenging NuLiebour’s made up statistics.


      • 93
        Anonymous says:

        Or Marr, or indeed any other BBBC political “Expert”!


        • 106
          Maladroit Labour Chump says:

          Try reading Sopel’s hagiography of B£iar or Andrew Marrtian’s History of Modern Britain.

          They’re both so left wing that you’re left in no doubt as to why they’re in the BBC.


    • 80

      no there are at least 200,000 women wearing the burka. I have seen them all sitting outside their houses of rubbish collection day


    • 167
      Conservative Socialist Democrats says:


      remind us again what the Tory policy on the EU is?


      Repealing the 111 tax hikes on the English middle classes?

      Third way Tories – socialism with a hint of blue.

      Fuck the Tories – they have only themselves to blame when people like me waste our vote on others.


      • 187
        Max the Impaler says:

        165..Have to agree with you.We need a leader with some grit.We need to gut these socialist bastards before the whole dam political and financial system comes tumbling down.The clock is ticking.


    • 232
      Anonymous says:

      If Sopel was a footballer he would be so far out on the left wing that the pitch wouldn’t be wide enough for him.
      Farage was saying what a lot of people think.
      Even if 10 women wore the burka in this country, then that is too many!!!


  29. 69
    Anonymous says:

    What’s bad about this Cartoon is that the reply from the British public is a long way away from the truth.

    Cartoons are funny because they are so close to the truth.


  30. 72
    Engineer says:

    Not altogether sure about this. Think UKIP might not have the nuance quite right.

    There are some women (and men) for whom the burkha should be made compulsory. Harperson, for example, and Pollytwaddle. (In John Prescott’s case, a marquee might be a better option than a burkha, but the basic arguement holds.) If in each case, the burkha could be made soundproof so much the better; in Pollytwaddle’s case, it must be designed to prevent access to computer keyboards or typewriters.


  31. 74


    IMF says double-dips a threat

    also seems to be saying that the world wide recession is a white anglo saxon effect because the upturn is being led by emerging economies in Asia, adding that the IMF sees China’s growth in 2010 close to the levels seen before crisis.


    • 82
      jgm2 says:

      Of course a ‘double-dip’ is a threat. In fact it’s a nailed on certainty. We’ve borrowed 300bn quid since the beginning of the recession and most folk expect that to have bought a single quarter of growth last year. 1bn quid worth of ‘growth’ for 300bn quid of subsidy. What do you think will happen to that ‘growth’ if we stop borrowing an average of 200bn quid a year?

      It’ll fucking well disappear innit?

      Nailed on.

      Of course we’re going to have a double dip. Big fuicking deal. I’m more pissed off about the 300bn quid we’ve borrowed to engineer 1bn quid of ‘growth’. Just so the Maximum Imbecile can swagger onto the TV screens and declare the recession over.

      Meanwhile out-sourcing agencies are fucking swamped with middle-class professionals clutching their P45s.

      It’s fucking insane.


      • 89
        A World Without Love says:

        Go to the Link and you will see that it is warning about Dave n George’s policies not Peter and Gordon’s.

        “Developed countries may slip back into recession if they exit strategies taken to battle the global financial crisis too early,”



        • 117
          jgm2 says:

          Aye, just as |I said. If governments make any effort to balance their budgets then ‘growth’ disappears and we’re back into recession.

          Which just goes to show how real the ‘growth’ is if you ask me. It’s just the governmental equivalent of getting another credit card and maxing out on that.


        • 178
          Rip Van Winkle says:

          What a great fucking idea. Let’s spend another £300bn to get another £1bn of growth next year, too.

          And it is so, so obvious, right from the very start of this depression. Until they deal with the REAL problem, they’ll simply spray YOUR money all over the fucking place – tax subsidies for you to buy Korean, Japanese and German cars for instance – in the HOPE that private consumption will replace Government subsidy. It won’t.

          The US and UK consumer is now dead, defunct, kicked the bucket, SKINT, has no more money, no more credit lines, no more house as an ATM machine. The consumption orgy is OVER. It’s back to a real economy as agianst the phoney economy we’ve had for the last 10 years. And the Government debt just makes it worse, much, much worse. Particularly when this jackass in charge sees interest rates rise. And they will.


        • 197
          Mr Ned says:

          The Government has been paying its credit card bill, with its credit card.

          The financial markets know that this is unsustainable. They also know that the tories will probably form the next administration and *might* possibly stop doing that. BUT, without any large scale increase in manufacturing for export, this country has NOTHING to replace the borrowing with, hence the inevitable arrival of a double dip recession. Whoever wins the next election, we WILL have another recession.

          What is really scary is that some commentators are saying that the economy will soon be sound enough for interest rate rises.

          A combination of that and the massive tax increases that blu-labour are looking at will kill off any chance of recovery.

          The EU will not allow the tories to make our business sector competitive enough to attract enough inward investment to make any difference. As it is a lot of our companies are relocating to Hungary and other former Soviet satellite nations.

          The tories are set to inherit a scorched earth, but they refuse to get any new seeds or fertiliser.

          Labour are utterly sick, vile, evil even. But the tories are NOT offering a worthy or even a slightly capable alternative.

          While labour are pouring petrol on the fire of this nation’s destruction, the tories are offering kerosene as an alternative.



    • 84

      is a double dip like a dunkin donut


    • 138
      Sir William Waad says:

      In order for a recovery to take place businesses will need to raise finance to expand stocks, extend credit to customers, recruit staff and acquire equipment. The banks are not going to lend this because they are still broken. Expect a slow recovery, at best, with more businesses that have been just hanging on going bust.

      If our public finances had been managed at least as competently as, say, those of a drunken sailor on his first shore leave, we would be able to help things along by expanding the public sector, but since it’s already bloated to bursting we can’t do that. Stir into the mix the Revenue catching up with unpaid tax and you have the recipe for a double dip.

      The first priority should be to mend the banks. Unfortunately the banks have learned nothing and forgotten nothing.


  32. 85
    Cannon Fodder says:

    My wife and I are pensioners now and apparently get the worst state pension in Europe. We do have small private pensions that we saved hard for, they would have been bigger of course but The Great Gloom stole a great lump out of them as one of his first of many acts of Social Engineering. We can’t do a lot nowadays as finances are very tight, even driving a few miles to see the grandchildren has to be budgeted for carefully.

    Meanwhile in the New Affordable houses close by the lights stay on all night, windows are open even on the coldest days. Mind you the unemployed and grossly obese occupants are wonderful parents as they always stand by the back door to smoke their cigarettes before going to the supermarket in their nice new car.

    How Zombie Brown, Barmy Balls and the Smarmy Mandleson have not been lynched I do not know but I live in hope. It seems to me that the country and the TV sycophantic news people need to get some balls and tell Balls to go forth and multiply before criticizing anyone else about Social Engineering.


    • 119
      Gordon ( SoldGoldAtThe ) BottomBrown says:

      Those are Key Workers in Affordable Housing – how dare you criticise them !

      It is essential that they, our benefits clientele and imported voters are stuck firmly to the State teat. Otherwise, we might be consigned to th Dustbin of History if I ever find enough courage to call a General Election.


    • 128
      anon, anon, anon..... says:

      To be fair the car is provided foc through the Motability scheme. Reforming druggies get them free. One such family had the gall to ask me for a £1000 loan so that they could upgrade from the basic cars on offer to a Volvo estate so they could get the dog on board. Surprisingly I haven’t heard from them since we declined.


    • 141
      Sir William Waad says:

      Dear Canon, you have at least the consolation of your faith, as well as a small but reliable pension from the Church.


  33. 88
    Skid Mark says:

    Has Polly managed to squeeze that shit out yet? She does look rather bloated from too much good food.


  34. 92
    GORDON McBUST9and his amazing magic cheque book) says:

    O/T Gordon McBust/McMental has now TRIPLED the british contribution to haiti to £20,000,000
    So it looks like the Presedent will get his new palace afterall


    • 101
      Just asking? says:

      Brown did a TV interview in regard to the governments emergency funding to Haiti (not the private donations sent in) and announced the UK government was sending money. Anyone per chance have a link to this interview as I cannot now find it anywhere?

      I know it would have been ITV or Sky as I never watch Pravda?I am not referring to the numerous newspaper articles on this subject but a specific intitial TV interview where the aid announcement was made and done in the last few days.


    • 135
      Hugh Janus says:

      …and enough left over for a fleet of Mercedes limos…


  35. 102
    Vietghanistan says:

    latest reports confirm Afghanistan is falling yet further into political chaos
    there is no end in sight
    there is no plan ‘B’
    troops out now!


  36. 107
    BRAS says:

    BRAS – removing the UK from BURKAS


  37. 113
    Dave"Compassion is my middle name" Cameron says:

    I’m doing my bit for the Haiti clear-up operation. I’ve sent 20 rubble sacks.
    Hope they’re back before the end of next week, I need the hardcore for the footings to my new conservatory.


  38. 115
    GORDON McBUST(and his amazing magic cheque book) says:

    Tragic as it might be
    i can’t believe all those people in Haiti sitting around like Cookoo’s
    waiting for someone else to rescue their relatives
    tens of thousands of them sat doing nothing
    while a few hundred rescue workers try to rescue thousands of trapped people !


    • 129

      how dare you they are NOT just sitting around. They are robbing and killing each other.


    • 132
      Ethnically English says:

      Danny Glover says global warming caused it, and that it was God’s revenge for the failure of Copenhagen. Makes sense.


    • 134
      mongs says:

      what a pair of wankers


    • 137
      jgm2 says:

      When the UN says it’s the biggest disater to ever strike they don’t mean it in the sense that most of us would understand it.

      Ie a bigger disaster than the boxing day tsunami. Or a bigger disaster than the Bangladesh floods.

      Fuck no.

      It is because Haiti is so spectacularly fucked up even before the earthquake that it has a permananet occupation of Red Cross, Save the Children and UN offices. When the UN says it is the biggest disaster ever they mean it is the biggest disaster ever for their salaried employees.

      50K a year tax free and your own Toyota Landcruiser and villa and servants. And now you’re having to hide in the hills to avoid being eaten by the locals.

      And with all those people right there on the ground they still can’t organise shit.

      The UN. Fucking useless.


      • 146
        anon, anon, anon..... says:

        Well said. (Always wondered whether the 2 is a 2 or ‘squared’ ?)


      • 179
        Anonymous says:

        You are right about the Landcruisers and tax free salaries. The only useful thing the UN does is support the motor and sat phone industry. They can’t even drive old 4×4’s they have to be brand spanking new especially imported in for the disaster. They won’t let locals distribute the aid because they are frit that they will no longer be able to justify their non jobs, so they invent stories that starving locals are all looters.

        The most useful thing in UN aid are their light blue tarpaulins complete with UN logos, these Tarpaulins are the best that money can buy and if they fall into the hands of locals they immediately become the perfect shelter from the elements and a home, far better than the flimsy plastic tents that are too small to stand up in and stiflingly hot in tropical climates that are usually handed out.


  39. 127
    Conservative Socialist Democrats says:

    We in the Socialist Democratic Conservative Party are very angry indeed about the 111 tax rises that Labour has forced onto the English middle classes.

    We are so angry we are not going to do anything about repealing them if we win the General Election.

    We are the heir to Blair, we are Blue Labour.


  40. 139
    anon, anon, anon..... says:

    Seen Elsewhere ( above right) ,,Douglas Carswell has this link. Worth reading and passing on.



  41. 143
    Sir William Waad says:

    Off topic, it’s nice to see the IPCC admitting that they just made up the story about the Himalayan glaciers melting by 2035.

    This is not just Science…..this is Climate Science. Any old tosh will do.


    • 160
      Thats News says:

      Not any old tosh but carefully crafted tosh. Because only the best will do.


    • 165
      bosh says:

      The politicians will believe anything if it says, ‘scientifically tested’ the fucking simpletons that they are.


      • 211
        Mr Ned says:

        When you consider that the climate is merely the connective layer between the output of a variable super-massive energy source (the sun) and a variable and enormous energy store (the oceans), then the idea that a change in a tiny trace gas will create a massive and unending change leading to catastrophe is ludicrous.

        It is like saying increasing the mass of a fly by a factor of two will stop the fly splatting on your windscreen and instead the fly would splat the car.


        • 223
          Australian says:

          Point taken, Mr Ned – but have you seen some of the flies we have in Oz? Double their mass and they would destroy not just your car, but even a bl**dy great Kenworth 18-wheeler…!


    • 200
      Max the Impaler says:

      Well if I understand the ramifications of Chaos Theory correctly, any type of prediction even if all the facts are known is impossible.All of the arguments put forward are meaningless.


      • 237
        Sting's Beard says:

        But more importantly everything that is meaningless can at some time be used to bolster some lack lustre statistic.


  42. 148
    tick tock says:

    Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock…..the sands of time are running out for you Brown, you piece of shit. No more hiding, no more ducking and diving, no more dithering, no more fucking relaunches, no more fuck ups period.

    You are the weakest link…..goodbye.


    • 172
      I Hate new Labour says:

      Oh yes, soon the one eyed fat scottish twerp will be banished to history.

      Abandoned and unwanted, with nothing but jealousy, spite, and never-to-be-realised plots of revenge.

      I wish him a long and painful death. Him and Blair.


  43. 162
    lol says:

    Peter Watt on derbyshite radio5 now


  44. 164
    Brown's Buggered Britain says:

    UKIP are a nothing party but there is a small possibility they could fuck things up – a hung parliament with THOSE creeps doesn’t bear thinking about.


    • 173
      Conservative Socialist Democrats says:

      And you thjird way social democratic Conservative interlopers who have date raped the Party will only have yourselves to blame when traditional Conservative voters (like me) spend our vote on UKIP.

      We have to draw a line – & DCs lamentable performance against McMuppet really has been an eye opener.

      DC will do nothing to protect the wealth creators & the English middle classes from McMentals fiscal lunacy & taxes.

      The Tories will not repeal a sinlge one of the 111 tax hikes McStalin has foisted upon the English taxpayer.

      And I say English because via the Barnett Formula Scots & Welsh are better off by £ thousands of piounds each year – paid for by the English taxpaying middle classes.

      Vote UKIP – teach Cast Irion Dave & Blue Labour a lesson about loyalty.


      • 218
        Mr Ned says:

        Very true. This is how the labour party succumbed to the “third way” Marxist-fascist removal of our control over our country as it was unlawfully handed over to a foreign power. Labour were taken over from the inside by the same philosophy that is now destroying the conservative party from the top.

        The tories have been infiltrated by the same “third way” philosophy and I am not going to vote for that. Cameron has castrated the tory party, and turned it into another Third way treason church.

        Why the FUCK do tories blame real tories (for wanting a return to true conservatism) instead of their treasonous “leader” for cutting the balls off the tory party?

        I am not going to vote for higher taxes, more political correctness, more powers transferred to the EU, more climate taxes. I am not going to vote for a party that cannot act on immigration or on making businesses flexible enough to compete in global markets.

        Why should I vote for more labour policies under a tory badge? IF I want real conservative policies, It makes more sense to vote for a party that offers me those policies. The Conservative party does NOT offer me any real alternative, in terms of policies or general guiding philosophy, to what we have with Brown.

        If I am wrong, then show me the CONSERVATIVE policies and philosophy. I haven’t seen it from call-me-Dave.


    • 222
      I Hate new Labour says:

      Well there may be some truth to that.

      But the Tories have to get the message that people aren’t that keen on their policies – they just want rid of the corrupt and useless one-eyed scottish tit.

      I will vote UKIP, because I see ‘Dave’ as Blair MkII. The first royally f*cked up so why would I want that again?

      I expect the Tories will get in, but with a slender majority. Half the problem with Blair was ’97 was such a landslide that he felt invicible.


  45. 170
    Hullaballoo says:

    None of this shit would happened if OJ Simpson was President


  46. 175

    The Haiti Rap

    Just wanna dedicate this topical rap
    to a country that has always been crap
    sorry for da earfquake and da billdins fallin down
    but none of dem was worf more dan arf a crown
    re-build quickly wiv no if an buts
    but next time stick to dem old mud huts
    coz when the concrete comes down and falls on your ed
    it will hurt then turn you very quickly dead
    now there is all that robbin and looting
    watch out coz dey might call the tonton macoutes in

    the original with accompanying masterpeice cartoon is here


    eat your heart out rich and mark !!!


    • 181
      Tube Thumper says:

      I’m a fucking spastic
      my attention span’s elastic
      surgery to my brain will have to be drastic
      because I’m so fucking tragic
      retarded since birth
      suffer intellectual dirth
      I am of no discernable worth
      I’m a bullshit pumper
      my name is the tube thumper
      a big fan of the kkk
      I have nothing clever to say
      secretly I am gay
      I suck cock
      and wank in my sock
      I’m a bullshit pumper
      my name is the tube thumper
      ignore all of my posts
      they’re shit.


    • 195
      concrete pump says:

      A bit harsh, Thumper.


      • 199
        concrete pump says:

        I am concrete pump
        the gay lover of the tube thump
        my posts are shit
        I’m a dopey git
        etc etc…


  47. 192
    Dear god, when will they stop.... says:

    Has to be the least amusing, least clever, most satire free “cartoon” from R & M yet!


  48. 198
    andywoo says:

    To be fair he’s right. We don’t want to see women in burkas. But neither do we want to see unenforcable laws governing what we can and can’t wear. But then it’s easy to come up with base, lowest-common denominator tabloid-fodder like this when you know you’ll never have to follow it through. The Tories are hamstrung by the likelihood of winning – reality being something of a handbrake on what you can promise…


    • 217
      Ali Pali says:

      We muslims know how to treat our women.

      As long as they have permission to be out, wear the clothes they’re supposed to, walk behind us as a mark of respect to the males, and don’t mix with filthy English slags and morons, they have a wonderful life.


  49. 216


    4 out of 10 for cartoon – Could do better.
    Talking of cover ups:


  50. 219
    Colonel Nut says:

    Cameron is cashing in on appearances too.He’s just been on Sky News saying teachers should have a tutu or higher.Is he on viagra or is it 2 fingers up at the Moslem extremists and their sympathisers in our schools.Imagine someone wearing a burkha and a tutu, no doubt a turn on for some of our weirder politicians but also reflective of diversity in modern Britain.


    • 220
      jgm2 says:

      Cameron has forgotten about grade inflation. A 2:2 is the new ‘third’. In fact a 2:1 is probably the new third.


      • 224
        Colonel Nut says:

        And like A’s at A level the number of degree Firsts is rising so fast they’ll soon be regarded as of little value;all in the pursuit of New Labour’s “Equality” agenda to attack what the Party perceives as elitism.Mediocracy for all.


  51. 221
    Sian says:

    What I dislike, – y’know, disgusting oppression and misogyny aside – is walking past a woman wearing a burqa and feeling like I’m being judged on the spot for wearing a nice dress or a skirt that doesn’t quite reach past my knees. Perhaps it’s just paranoia and perhaps I’m being as judgemental as the other women but living in Whitechapel and having been told on more than one occasion by an “older male” that I shouldn’t be wearing what I’m wearing, I somewhat doubt it.


  52. 239

Seen Elsewhere

Speaker Bercow Defeated | BBC
Nigel Farage is Bigger Than Jesus | Speccie
Year of Sleaze | City AM
Top 10 UKIP Donors | London Loves Business
Tory Candidate Leaflet Blooper | Get West London
Why Aren’t Middle Class Voting Tory? | Sun
UKIP Do Not Have Monopoly on Fruitcakes | Danny Finkelstein
Ed Must Stop Dithering | Mary Riddel
Ed Cannot Rebuild Trust From Westminster | Rafael Behr
An Open Letter to Russell Brand | "Jo"
Merry Bin-Mas From the Greens | Speccie

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