January 13th, 2010

PMQs Live Chat : It Was This Time Last Week Edition


  1. 1
    Postal Vote says:

    I waited a few minutes to see whether Guido put the warning up here himself, but all you posters note that if your blog name is well-known to your inner circle, your comments will end up in the mirror through whip brown whipping macguire if you’re not labour and want to stand against them.

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    brown has just said that they have given all the documents to chilcott inquiry but campbell said yestreday that blair wrote private letters to bush – so not all the documents have been given – shouldn’t brown have to apologise to the house for misleading the house and shouldn’t those letters now be passed to the chilcott enquiry

  3. 3
    Some bloke says:

    Let’s face it: Brown’s a c*nt.

  4. 4
    There's a parrot in the house, there's a parrot in the house, there's a........ says:

    Brown made an airbrush joke
    Brown made an airbrush joke
    Brown made an airbrush joke
    Brown made an airbrush joke
    Brown made an airbrush joke
    Brown made an airbrush joke

    Ad nauseum.

    No new job in standup after May then ?

  5. 5

    PMQs – wasted opportunity in the current format.

  6. 6
    Some bloke says:

    Detroit is the crappiest city I have ever visited.


    While everyone was eating leftovers and hitting the holiday sales on Saturday, my roommate Jason and I traveled to Detroit to see The Greatest Band on Earth. Ironically, The Greatest Band on Earth was playing in the worst city on Earth.

    Downtown Detroit is actually very nice… for about two blocks. Ford Field, Comerica Park, and the exquisite Fox Theatre all sit within a two-block radius of each other, and these are all very nice properties. However, I have never seen so much decay two city blocks away from such a nice area. On the evening that we visited, prostitute sightings were almost as common as the empty bottles of cheap gin and whiskey that also lined the city streets.

    Ignoring the fact that this ass backwards city was designed with every street being one-way, and driving across the city in a complete circle being necessary to make what would otherwise be a simple left turn. There is also a liquor store on nearly every block. That is not an exaggeration.

    In fact, while in the course of my travels through Detroit, I happened to find myself at a stop sign on MLK Jr. Drive and Lincoln Avenue. ‘Hmm,’ I thought to myself… ‘Martin Luther King Jr. and Abraham Lincoln. Here we have two men that worked relentlessly for black equal rights, at great expense to their personal safety… and there is a liquor store here at their intersection. I’m sure that’s probably how they would have wanted it.’

    Granted, a lot of these things could be found in many cities if you look hard enough down the wrong street or alley. However, there was one thing my roommate and I saw while visiting the classy city of Detroit that I have never, ever seen in the slums of Cincy, the bad part of Youngstown, or any of the streets in New York City that reek of urine.

    Me: Is that guy… no, no there’s way he’s….

    Jason: What?

    Me: I think that guy just took a shit on the sidewalk.

    Jason: No, no way.

    Well, sure enough, Jason and I watched a grown man take a massive donkey crap right on a sidewalk in downtown Detroit. The man was not homeless, he was sporting some bling and had a nice set of Timbs on to boot. Oh… and did I mention he had his girlfriend with him.

    I’m going to repeat that.

    This man took a shit, in full view of the public, on a well-lit downtown sidewalk… WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND WATCHING.

    I don’t know what the most disgusting part of all that is, but I think it’s that the girlfriend didn’t bat an eye as if it was an everyday common occurrence to treat a public sidewalk as a perfectly good place to take a dump.

    So there you have it, Detroit is the crappiest city I have ever been to. Literally.

  7. 7
    MisterE says:

    I’d thank you not to concern yourself with my “inner circle”…
    Good day to you Sir.

  8. 8
    Dick the Prick says:

    Cheer Peeps, Cheers Guido!

  9. 9
    Simon Cowell says:

    Not enough music; not enough weapons…??
    Perhaps I should get involved and liven things up a bit.

  10. 10

    Seriously, the only question I’d like to ask that treasonous fuck is “Would you like a blindfold?”

    here, have a look at this – http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/6977441/Naked-rambler-faces-life-in-prison.html – the rest of his fucking life in jail, just cus he prefers to walk around int he chud. What kind of country jails someone, permanently, for that? The *scum* I see on my streets, and this harmless feller is repeatedly jailed – he’s already spent longer inside than some killers. Madness.

  11. 11
    Dave Cameron says:

    OK, so I messed up at PMQ’s.

    A right old Eton mess

  12. 12
    oldfella says:

    why don’t the tories and lib dems agree a set of planted questions that build over the duration of pmqs into a cacophany of noise and ridicule of the fat beast at number 10 – hell, labour use planted questions all the time?

    Even if this only provides a few moments of mad panic from the old bastard it would be better than what’s served up at the moment. Brown is odious and the rats who have ‘supported’ him this week all deserve to be shown up and embarrassed.

    It’s not as if Cameron doesn’t have the ammunition!!

  13. 13
    There's a parrot in the house, there's a parrot in the house, there's a........ says:

    Airbrush that error

  14. 14
    next slide please, d-day says:

    I listened to the first 20 mins and decided to switch off. Brown the Hunt would not answer a question and just seemed hellbent on getting his childish quip about airbrushing into as much of his ranting as possible. Has he finally lost the plot completely? If this is how he is going to run his election campaign then he will only succeed in handing millions of votes to the other parties. Brown, for fucks sake grow up you prick.

  15. 15
    oldfella says:

    agree with you

    the ultimate in freedom of expression ;0)

  16. 16
    Dari Taylor says:

    Prime Minister, Is it true the government have learning disabilities and you are autistic?

  17. 17
    cant hunter says:

    Cameron was far too polite, after Brown made those personal comments about Dave tending to go red faced at times, the opposition leader should have retorted that “at least I dont piss myself when facing an audience of sceptical scribblers, at least my hands dont shake with anger when under criticism, nor do I throw cups, moblies at underluings when they answer back..”

  18. 18
    jgm2 says:

    Steady. Steady. Hold your fire. Hold your fire.

    On my command…

  19. 19
    mondeoman says:

    There is no point brown, never answers a question, bercow never picks him up on this, just gives him time to gather his thoughts. Will bercow be the shortest (not in height of course he already has that record) serving speaker? Brown was cr*p, looked cr*p and no amount of airbrushing will make him look electable!

  20. 20
    TAXI for BROWN says:

    You can reach Mangledbums “Inner Circle ”
    By the Rear entrance !
    Thank you!

  21. 21
  22. 22
    Pete-s says:

    Come on Guido, what is that statement all about given by Bercow just after PMQ. Email, precedent, tomorrow morning; whats it all about?

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    Daves just waiting till Gords seen the Queen THEN the battle will commence.

  24. 24
    Anonymous says:

    The issue about Greg Stone is all rather tame in comparision to Nick Brown claiming today that Newcastle Liberal Democrats want to commit electoral fraud.


  25. 25
    mondeoman says:

    I think a good tactic would be for the conservative front bench to walk out, leaving him to rant, whats the point of being there is he never answers the question, bercow says nothing, that would grab the headlines.

  26. 26
    Doc Trough says:

    Balls looks like he’s been on a 3-day bender (if you’ll pardon the expression).

    I doubt it’s from dusk to dawn sexual athleticism with the boy Jim (ah, the songs…)

  27. 27
    Raving Loon says:

    “The 50-year-old, who conducted his own defence while appearing in court completely naked, turned down an offer to walk free yesterday on the condition that he got dressed.”

    If only our politicians were this principled.

  28. 28
    Carlton says:

    or via the Conservative who leaked to Guido

    Clegg rattled Broon with Iraq.He’s clearly not happy on that subject.With good reason.Broons worried about Blair.

    Dave still doesn’t know what to do at PMQ’s and having launched a huge poster campaign for the election he should know better, even when he’s at his most desperate, than to keep calling on Brown to have an election.The whole country knows the Election is weeks away so it’s making him sound silly.You would barely know that Broon was in dire straights last week from that performance.Dave must learn to score those open goals.You could tell Hague was itching to make a few cutting one liners to Broon.

  29. 29
    Feck off Toenails says:

    Toenails reckoned that DC was below his best because he concentrates too much everyweek on Boom & Bust!

    It’s only because McDoom never answers the question that he does!

  30. 30

    I saw a gypsy woman shit in the street outside a kentucky fried chicken in West Ham, about ten years ago.

    it’s probably still there.

  31. 31
    Salford slim says:

    Fascinating…….. just out of interest who would you class as The Greatest Band on Earth

  32. 32
    Euro-Dave and his Cast Iron Peformances says:

    he’s been shit on purpose since the Leadership contest beating Davies.
    He was shit just now to make sure there wasn’t a Leadership challenge.
    Oh wait…..,,

  33. 33
    mondeoman says:

    Did you expect any other opinion from this excuse for a political editor of the beeb?

  34. 34
    Andrew Kneel says:

    Who is paying for Peter Haines tan?

  35. 35
  36. 36
    Throbber says:

    And where is he being incarcerated and harassed all the time…. fucking Jockland.
    It’s a microcosm of the shit we are all putting up with right across the UK at the hands of the ruling Jockish mafia.
    Horrible fascist bastards all of them. The sooner we are shot of all these controlling, holier than though fucktards the better.

  37. 37
    AC1 says:

    He’s not autistic, he’s a sociopath treated for depression.

  38. 38
    rocknrolla says:

    Given that Campbell has started the ball rolling, perhaps Blair will appear before the inquiry and lay all the blame on Brown, who will already have ruled himself ot of appearing pre-election giving no room for response. Blair would think nothing of sacrificing Brown and the Labour Party if he thought it could net him a few directorships and Cherie some more expensive jewelry.

  39. 39
    Throbber says:


  40. 40
    lol says:

    I thought he looked a bit pasty today – I’ll send him a couple of hundred quid so that he can change things eh?

  41. 41
    TAXI for BROWN says:

    The answer is SCOTLAND !
    Which i agree with !
    Who wants to see a load of Over weight Haggis Munching, Red headed, toothless Moragg’s
    wandering around with their tit’s dragging in the snow
    If he was allowed back into England they would leave him alone
    What happened to freedom of expresion ?
    Also in this weather his cock will be like everyone elses
    About the size of a fucking button mushroom
    so the police could rightly say
    “Move along Nothing to see here ” !

  42. 42
    's no warning says:

    Charles Kennedy on Daily Politics hit on the Achilles Heel for Brown and that is Chilcot – he suggested that someone might wish to follow up Clegg’s and Heath’s questioning and say fair enough Prime Minister you’ve said that the order of questioning is up to Chilcot as is the timing of calling witnesses and that you are happy to leave that to him but IF Chilcott decided in light of Campbell’s and subsequently Blair’s and to a lesser extent Hoon etc would you attend BEFORE the election ?

    Iraq is still apparently capable of inflicting electoral damge to Brown. As Andrew Neil said “You’d have thought that we’d still be discussing Iraq in 2010 ?”

  43. 43
    Kaptain Krunch says:

    yeah, not like he wants to get a far more commanding lead in the polls before then by being an effective leader of the opposition
    that’s crazy talk

  44. 44
    Disco Stew says:

    Just been listening to that twat,when the good doctor said that foreigners
    in this country with AIDS WAS COSTING US £3M LAST YEAR he said
    by paying that we were protecting our citizens.Only labour could come out
    with a line like that,has he not thought about stopping them from getting here?
    that would be much safer……..labour voters,born with the idiot gene.

  45. 45
    oldrightie says:

    Toenails really is just what it says on the tin. A Dickhead if ever I saw one.

  46. 46
    jgm2 says:

    Fucking priceless. Nick Brown wouldn’t trust the Liberal Democrats with the ballot boxes. This fom the party that engineered the Glenrothes vote, mass postal votes and subsequent disappearance of the voter’s register?

    Labour is getting its retaliation in first. We need UN inspectors for the coming election. We need observers from the EU.

    That’s if we get an election at all. The chances of which will be severely diminished if Brown’s 300bn quid of deficit spending hasn’t bought ‘growth’ in Q42009. Can you imagine? All that money squandered and still no ‘growth’? The ‘growth’ deferred till Cameron takes over?


    Do you imagine he’d just let hat happen? @that’s my ‘recovery’. Mine. I only need to be inpower until mid-July and then everybody will know it’s my ‘recovery’.

    But Mr Brown the election has to take place by the beginning of June…

    ‘Who says so? I’m the prime minister… I want to have it in mid July. Then everybody will know it is my ‘recovery’..

  47. 47
    lol says:

    I hear David Steel’s daughter is standing as Lib Dem candidate in Edinburgh

    Kepping it in the family – it’s what we do!!

  48. 48
    Titus Aduxas says:

    From Sky News:

    Sky’s political editor Adam Boulton described it as a “ragged, messy and pointless PMQs”.

    “But Gordon Brown gave David Cameron a bit of a mauling – and for once had the (slightly) better jokes.”

  49. 49
    DelBoy says:

    I saw him once – walking down the side of my house. Didn’t look like a lifer to me.

  50. 50
    10-50l0 says:

    I think that’s where Mandelson becomes crucial
    Though if Blair did try to Blame everything on Brown it would mean any hope of a Blairite becoming the next Labour Leader would vanish.

  51. 51
    cant hunter says:

    The obvious question, though I suppose the bit about the bling makes it redundant, but was he ,you know, in anyway, er,ethnic….

  52. 52
    Randy Coulson says:

    We’ll trim more than the wanker’s toenails when we take over, don’t worry.

  53. 53
    Disco Stew says:

    He is a bad comedian,uses the same joke over and over again.
    Bit like Joe bland…1)I’m fat 2)I’m a fat bird who likes a shag, or variations.

  54. 54
    jgm2 says:

    No. I think Dave just isn’t very good. Or lacks the killer instinct. Or is afraid to escalate things because Brown has made it quite clear he has some dirt on him.

    Or something.

    This is why I thing Dave is making a grave error agreeing to a ‘leadership’ debate with Brown. Even Blair didn’t agree to one with Major because he (Blair) had absolutely nothing to gain. The race was already won.

    Same with Cameron. He can only screw up. There is no potential upside. He is home and hopsed. Most voters have already made their minds up and it is in his favour.

    He needs to develop a ‘flu’ for these ‘leadership’ debates and let Hague go in his stead or simply call it off as a distraction from the serious business of preparing for government.

  55. 55
    jgm2 says:

    And a dring. She likes a drink. And a smoke. She likes a smoke. A fat bird who likes a shag and a drink and a smoke.

    It’s a living.

  56. 56
    Steve Hilton says:

    David Cameron can not and will not go on like this.

    Useless at Prime Ministers Question Time

  57. 57
    jgm2 says:

    And a dr*nk. She likes a dr*nk. And a smoke. She likes a smoke. A fat bird who likes a shag and a dr*nk and a smoke.

    It’s a living.

  58. 58
    Mr Plum says:

    He looks a bit like Brains out of Thunderbirds except Brown is pulling his strings

  59. 59
    Doc Trough says:

    Little Feat…..when Lowell George was a-livin’.

  60. 60
    TAXI for BROWN says:

    Hague is the man
    he used to rip Blair a new one every week
    you could see Blair wanting to be sick every time William stood up
    Blair hated being belittled by Hague and prescott was worse !i never missed one PMQ,s at that time i used to get my radio and climb up on to the roof of the building so i was not disturbed

  61. 61
    The IMF is coming says:

    He just churns out his prepared lines and fits them in regardless of the question

  62. 62
    Squatters rights says:

    Driving along the Oxford bypass a few years ago – about 7.30am – and there in a lay by was a trucker (next to his European plated truck doing the same).

    What should really concern us all, is that Gordon Brown does the same on all 60 million of us every day.

  63. 63
    nell says:

    Talking of bercow does anyone know if he has managed to change constituencies for the next election ? I did hear he was trying to avoid facing farage over the ballot box because he was afraid he was going to lose.

    Don’t I wish!

  64. 64
    Gordon Brown says:

    Want some more Dave ??????

  65. 65
    jgm2 says:

    He wants to move to India. No end of butt-naked loons wandering the streets in India. Plus the locals give you free food if you’re that bonkers.

  66. 66
    ed round ones says:

    So what? Nobody watches them anyway, apart from a few anoraks.

    Hague gave Blair a good mauling on a regular basis, and look what happened to him.

  67. 67
    Spank Sinatra says:

    Thank you so much for sharing that with us all……..is this some sort of allegorical reference to contemporary British life or just a rant?

  68. 68
    Joch strapped says:

    er,mine is the size of a big cucumber in the cold.

  69. 69
    Arse wiped says:


  70. 70
    jgm2 says:

    In Detroit the ‘ethnics’ are the white blokes.

  71. 71
    SAW says:

    Somalians shit in the streets of London everyday, they have the good manners to squat over the gutters and avoid the pavement though, our cultural diversity puts us a notch above Detroit.

    No wonder we got the Olympics.

  72. 72
    Daves Combover says:

    It’s all about mending the roof while the sun is shining

  73. 73
    nell says:

    What is the matter with cameron at PMQ’s at the moment. In the past he’s managed to push gordon into losing his temper and making idiotic retorts. Just lately it’s almost as though cameron feels sorry for gordon and goes easy on him.

    C’mon dave where’s the fire gone? Must do better.

  74. 74
    Gary Gilmore says:

    I prefer to look the executioner in the eye, myself. Blindfolds are for poofters.

  75. 75
    Barry Obama Painter & Decorator says:

    I just loved your PMQ’s

  76. 76
    TonkaTom says:

    I’d like to see a Tables, Ladder & Chairs version of PMQs just like the WWE :-)

  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron was very poor today and Gordon actually quite good.

  78. 78
    jgm2 says:

    This is true. And it matters not a whit how well Dave does because it it gets reported at all on the BBC it will be the one 5-second quip where Brown raised a laugh (out of context).

    Likewise these leadership debates.

    I won’t be watching because I can no longer bear to look at or listen to the Maximum Imbecile. My mind is long made up. But Dave runs the risk of some monumental blunder that throws the whole thing up in the air.

    He should do what Blair did. Just scoff in the face of such an idea. ‘I shall take my message direct to the voters….’

    Brown has nothing at all to lose and everything to gain. It is his last throw of the dice when he shouldn’t even be getting his hands on the dice.

  79. 79
    SAW says:

    Labour Doublethink, by starting wars we are creating safety, by importing AIDS patients we are protecting Britons by treating them, by giving the banks a trillion pounds we are saving the country from the fact we fucked up their regulation.

  80. 80
    Har-Man and the Masters of the Hooniverse says:

    Was it just me or did Gordie look like a psychotic Mr. Bean?

  81. 81
    The IMF is coming says:

    It’s the PMQ’s format.

    Asks a question, Brown replies with prepared lines regardless of question.
    Next question. Brown replies with prepared lines regardless of question.
    And so on until the last question when Brown then just responds with his best line, normally about IHT.
    Thus gives the impression he is in control.
    DC can ask as many witty/cutting/searching/difficult/killer questions as he wants but the response will be the same, straight from his scriptwriters notepad. GB thus looks good.

    During a TV debate even a dipsy Breakfast TV presenter will be able to get Brown to answer the question. Brown will not be in control and remember he is a control freak. He has is very slow on his feet and without humour. It will be a different outcome. He can do sincere but that’s about it. The ebb and flow of unrehearsed questions and answers will show him up and I expect he will come across as ill tempered.

  82. 82
    Gonk says:

    Please God, Let it be strategic punch pulling by Dave.
    Please.. please.. I’ll be good. I’ll buy the Big Issue now and then.
    I’ll stop being rude to overseas callers… Please…

  83. 83
    Groucho says:

    I saw a guy take a shit in a doorway in Amsterdam many years ago. The householder opened the door just as the crapper was in mid dump. I don’t speak any Dutch, but I definitely got the impression that the resident wasn’t best pleased.

    Also, whilst waiting in a late night bus queue in Sunderland once, the young lady next to me squatted down and took a huge piss. Right there in the queue, in full view of scores of people. Classy.

  84. 84
    When is someone who is dead,actually still alive? says:

    I know for a fact that vote rigging has been going on for many decades in the North East – I have the names.

    Getting deceased voters “re-born” to get in the Labour vote.

    Nothing new for them.

  85. 85
    Mike Naylor says:

    I am not normally a fan………………………………………

  86. 86
    cant hunter says:

    I suppose Somalians must suffer from some genetic/ collective bowel disorder, I wonder what the streets of Bogadishu are like..

  87. 87
    Spank Sinatra says:

    Yep – thought so!

  88. 88
    VOTE AGAINST THE BIG THREE and 5 more years of TROUGHING ! says:

    Cameron is crap !
    crapat pmq’s crap as a leader
    crap at policies
    crap on europe infact he’s just crap ! and No i’m not a lie-bore or lib-demic troll !
    he’s not even as good as Ian Duncan Smith !

  89. 89
    queens counsel says:

    Dave and his team should really know better by now. They’re not gonna get any sensible answers from this fuckwit.

    They should restrict their questions to the, ‘When did you stop beating your wife?’ variety.

    Anyway, it don’t really matter, it’s not as if it’s having any effect on the polls is it?

  90. 90
    Moley says:

    Keeping Chilcot going until after the election is a very good idea.

    It means the enquiry is not finished by the time labour’s influence, bullying, and lies can no longer manipulate events and conclusion.

    Witnesses can be recalled.

    I love it.

  91. 91
    lol says:

    ah yes Gordon’s doing all he can to keep the country going in the bad weather that started in america.

    note the comment about farmers use of oil in tractors….


    who’s country is this ours or theirs??

  92. 92

    Agreed, and you wouldn’t be able to aim your last spit.

  93. 93
    Daves Combover says:

    I think Brown was wrong to stoop to personal attacks, I have not seen that before at pmq’s.

  94. 94
    I Hate new Labour says:

    True, but the morons in this country preferred to vote for someone with hair.

    I swear if Hague wasn’t bald he’d have come much closer to beating phony Tony.

  95. 95
    Anonymous says:

    Can’t someone on the opposition pull Brown up about the difference between debt and deficit. He’s asked questions about the deficit but keeps referring to our debt.

  96. 96
  97. 97
    Seebag says:

    nell – Cameron is sure Brown will lose Labour the election so he’s scared stiff about landing a killer punch on him. C needs B in place for the next 5 months.

  98. 98
    cant hunter says:

    On the BBC lunchtime news the political report was given by Ben Wright, son of prominent Labour MP Tony. His reporting has gone a little to near the pro Labour camp on the radio in recent weeks, on a couple of occasions; he seems now to be a fixture on the television news. Normally I dont get too excited about Lefties at the BBC, but I really think this guy wants watching very closely–until he gets a parliamentary seat of course.

  99. 99
    streamfisher says:

    The only thing snake-eyes will do is hand out more xmas presents to his core voters in the run up to the election, this has the extra benefit of screwing our finances even more, expect further ludicrous pledges and commitments on a weekly basis in the coming months.

  100. 100
    Gordon's favourite Butt Plug says:

    I still want to know how the Tories IHT plans only affect the richest 3000.

    If they actually only do, then it would be best to delete the policy and stop Gordon’s and labours only comeback on all the maladministration they are responsible for.

  101. 101

    you forgot tampons and thatcher

  102. 102

    I would have kicked the emerging turd straight back up his large intestine again, the dirty, dirty bastard.

  103. 103
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Camerons first question should be, “Are you going to answer my questions with a straight answer, yes or no?

  104. 104
    Groucho says:

    Thanks for helping to clear the roads lads, here’s a massive fine.

  105. 105
    sinosimon says:

    perhaps that non-thinking think tank where he squirelled away the £100,000 he ‘forgot’ about is helping …….

  106. 106
    jgm2 says:

    You might well be right. But Dave does not need to take the risk. Blair used to knock Major into a cocked hat but he didn’t take any chances of leaving himself open to a one-off prat-fall when the election was already well in the bag.

    I don’t want to credit the Maximum Imbecile with anything seeing as he is uniquely responsible for our economic clusterfuck but whatever else Brown may be (jackass, incompetent, mendacious) he ain’t George W Bush. He wasn’t parachuted into power purely for his idiocy. He did something right (right in the sense of ‘managed to manouvre himself into that position somehow’). It wasn’t pure fluke.

    Brown only needs to get lucky. Cameron have a head-cold and be a bit off his game and wallop. Or blind-sided by events – Osborne photographed the night before in bed with a donkey (say).

    There is no conceivable up-side. A couiple of extra percentage points maybe. But he’s home free as it is.

  107. 107
    I Hate new Labour says:

    It has to be.

    Brown is such a lunatic that Cameron must know if he forces the fat scottish tw@t to go postal, he’ll be replaced.

    I think he’s probably saving some real venom for the televised debates.

    Brown’s avoidance of giving a straight answer to a straight question will make him look *very* bad him during those.

  108. 108
    Groucho says:

    You have to be a special person to work as an HMRC compliance officer. One step up the evolutionary ladder from a leech, but not as warm and affectionate.

    I have had a run-in with these chaps in the past and nothing they do would surprise me.

  109. 109
    Moley says:

    What Nick Brown is doing is trying to cast doubt on the election result in a constituency where Labour knows it cannot safely rig the vote.

    The answer is for the parties to agree to exchange observers so that all procedures can be 100% supervised by appointees from each party.

    There would be no shortage of volunteers.
    A full time police guard would be a very good use of police overtime. I would happily pay for it on my rates.

  110. 110
    Numpty Geordie in T-shirt during a blizzard says:

    Oi? Are you looking at my bird…?

  111. 111
    streamfisher says:

    If you are right Cameron will up the anti shortly, unthinkable then that Labour could replace Brown so close to an Election date and anyway they have already proved none of them have the bottle to oust Brown.

  112. 112
    10-50l0 says:

    All the leaders agreed to the debate to save money.
    Dave has some cash but not nowhere near enough for the exposure those will get him.
    Same with Brown and Clegg.
    Even if they all personally fuck it up they at least get the policy soundbites they want to hammer into the ground across to millions of voters.

    Do not underestimate how worried the Parties are about their public image either.
    They all want to look good after expenses and the debates make them appear more serious, important and ‘Presidential’.

  113. 113
    Anonymous says:

    F*CK TO GET.

    Rearrange that one, One Eyed Idiot Bown

  114. 114
    jgm2 says:

    Oh aye. She fucking hates Thatcher. She’s fat and it’s all Thatcher’s fault. That and making her work in a mental hospital. Full of mental folk. Who are now being ‘cared for’ in the community.

    Maybe that’s why Brand hates Thatch. Mebbe she got a P45 when Thatch released the loons into the community.

  115. 115
    stilyagi_air_corps says:

    Went to use a phone booth in South London last year, there was a pile of human ordure on the floor. How did I know it was human, you may ask… easy. There was used khazi paper on top of it.

    Think about it.

  116. 116
    Tron says:

    That story about Motown street life was more interesting than all the shit spoken in PMQ’s.

  117. 117
    stilyagi_air_corps says:


  118. 118
    SAW says:

    People from Sunderland are mackems, they hate being called geordies and get their birds to piss on your shoes

  119. 119
    normal person says:

    green shoots of printed money! Where’s the investment…the only thing Labour is good at is creating sink estates and emmploying social workers and spin doctors..what does all that do for the long term…
    Whats the point of a British worker black or white voting labour …..?

  120. 120
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Then if he doesn’t get satisfaction bring in ‘Tarzan’ to whack him on the bonce with the mace. That would make good watching.

  121. 121
    jgm2 says:

    But I thought the whole point with counts on the night was that all parties had their election observers there and so there was never any question of ‘tampering’. They’re all volunteers – a few hours overtime or time in lieu for the council staff and there you go.

    Everybody happy.

    It’s only this delaying the count nonsense that has got folk (rightly) heated.

    But that’s not purely a Lib Dem initiative.

  122. 122
    normal person says:

    how come we all discuss our doubts over the legitimacy of postal votes but we hear nothing on the BBC…do they pay them to uncover stories or to cover them up?

  123. 123
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:

    KRAAAAAWWWKK!!! (pheew-twitt) BALDIE!!!

  124. 124
    Realist says:

    I think you might be under the misapprehension that more than 0.0001% of the population are interested in PMQs. Or politics.

  125. 125
    Unsworth says:

    So you didn’t watch Brown’s comments on Eton, then?

  126. 126
    Anonymous says:

    To which the f*ckwit’s answer will be/contain/manipulated to retort:
    “Whereas YOUR party will look after the rich by refusing to implement IHT legislation …. ”


  127. 127
    BROWNED OFF says:

    Why don’t the Tories respond to this ridiculous jibe that only the top 3000 people benefit from the inheritance tax plan?


    The rest of us that have worked and bought our houses with already taxed money and whose houseS are worth more than £300K all benefit.


  128. 128
    Cheese Lover says:

    It’s already been said, several times. We want Brown to stay, we don’t even want an election in March, we want him to survive past budget time. Gently does it and helps boost his ridiculous ego until it is ready to be BURST in one great shower of…

  129. 129
    normal person says:

    I heard he has 103000 tins of cuprinol in his garden shed..oh no I got that wrong they were an anonymous donation and he doesn’t know who gave them to him but he has given them back
    How the hell can you give something back to someone when you don’t know who they are ???????

  130. 130
    No, no, take my money, go on says:

    Perhaps we should give muslim weirdy-beardy nutters benefit money as well.
    Oh, hang on…

  131. 131
    Throbber says:

    The state is not your friend – under any circumstances.

  132. 132
    I Hate new Labour says:

    That’s it exactly.

    If Brown went publicly nuts, even the spineless labour scum would get rid of him. Not something Cameron wants.

    Brown is an asset to the Tories, keeping him in place has to be their best chance.

  133. 133
    Kaitan says:

    “But he’s home free as it is.”

    try that line out on Hilton, Coulson, Dave and his inner circle or anyone at C.C.O. and see what kind of response you get

    even Blair didn’t believe he had won in 97 till all the votes were counted

  134. 134

    Did you know that only Israel has more Jewish Politicians than Britain?


  135. 135
    bandersnatch says:

    I can’t understand why others don’t seem to be perturbed by Brown’s rhythmic karate chopping with right hand… Hand flat, held vertical, smashing down on the despatch box. I expect to see it fall in two as you used to see with a pile of bricks in old-fashioned Variety shows. I expect he thinks it makes him seem insistent and determined. To me he looks full of barely suppressed anger, with occasional bursts of glee breaking through when he thinks a point has hit home.

    The person who has regularly upped the quality of his performance in these daft encounters is young Cleggover.

  136. 136
    VOTE AGAINST THE BIG THREE and 5 more years of TROUGHING ! says:

    O/T The useless C*nt Ainsworthless is blaming the Tories for the helecopter fuck up “this is a sorry tail dating back to 1995″
    the Tories at least bought some fucking helecopters you dumb shit !
    we have now been in Afghanistan for 6 years you have had these helecopters in storage for 8 years and done nothing with them ! apart from try to modifie them on the cheap which has now cost the tax payers millions !
    and still only two are ready !

  137. 137
    Partridge Farmer says:

    Ian Duncan Smith is not even as good as Ian Duncan Smith

  138. 138
    Anonymous says:

    I think it far more probable that Dave thinks he doesn’t really need to try too hard.

    He performs at his peak when under pressure – hence his previous performances at PMQ when behind in polls/when he HAD to provide brilliance to take tory leadership contest etc.

    The live debates should be interesting – I hope they BOTH feel under pressure esp when the very capable Clegg is providing some uncomfortable debate.

    That way Dave is exceptional … and Brown self explodes.

  139. 139
    Anonymous says:

    But he is a c’unt.

  140. 140
    I Hate new Labour says:

    Yes, but truth and fact plays no part in a discussion with Labour.

    Frankly better to not dignify the lies with a response.

  141. 141
    Ozymandias Broon of McDoom says:

    Just a lonely bell was “ringing”,
    Clunk, clunk, clunk,
    In that little valley toon,
    Clunk, clunk,clunk,
    They were ringing for bad old Jimmy Broon.

    seems apt

  142. 142
    streamfisher says:

    Better watching than Eastenders at Xmas (I don’t always control the remote), a script unoriginally based on Cluedo, we know Dr Black was murdered in the saloon and the weapon was a bust of Queen Victoria but who was the perpetrator, Miss Scarlett?

  143. 143
    Archer Karcher says:

    Dismal Dave is ALWAYS poor, he is useless. He has aligned himself with all the mantras of ZaNuLab and consequently cannot attack them coherently or credibly.

    There is nothing between the consensus within any of the big three, it`s just more of the same, dressed up as change.

  144. 144
    Fony Blair says:

    Surely Fony Blair!?

  145. 145
    Ozymandias Broon of McDoom says:

    A lot can not work the difference between capital and income of all parties.

  146. 146
    bandersnatch says:

    Ridiculous to bang him up… a harmless eccentric… Mind you, I’m glad McBroon shows no signs of taking up his cheery public nakedness.

  147. 147
    HASH GORDON (saviour of the universe) says:

    Interesting point
    Who was britains last bald PM ?
    Was it Churchill ?

  148. 148
    HASH GORDON (saviour of the universe) says:

    No he’s not !
    A C*nt’s usefull !

  149. 149
    Australian says:

    No Frank -I’m sure some KFC operative would have shovelled it up quick smart to be recycled into some “finger lickin’ good” product!

    By the way given the content of Some Bloke’s story, do we know if a certain Mr “Oatcake” has ever been to Detroit? Or is he booking his ticket right now?

  150. 150
    Al says:

    You are troll.


  151. 151
    jgm2 says:

    I suppose even if Dave doesn’t do well in the debates it still leaves the Labour voters with the choice of Clegg. In fact it is Clegg that Brown should be most afraid of. I’m sure there are a lot of voters out there who, for cultural or historical reasons cannot bring themselves to vote Tory but are looking for an alternative to the epic incompetence of Labour.

    Clegg could be the big winner here.

  152. 152
    Australian says:

    “they have the good manners to squat over the gutters and avoid the pavement though”

    Unlike Vera Baird and her dog!

  153. 153
    jgm2 says:

    I think that question was answered when the BBC sacked Gilligan.

  154. 154
    David Cameron says:

    What, some more of your droning repetition you drug crazed mental patient?

    Gotcha with the line on campaign literature.

  155. 155
    streamfisher says:

    Beginning about ten years ago we started hearing good things about the Browns.

  156. 156
    Ozymandias Broon of McDoom says:

    more surely, Phoney B’Liar

  157. 157
    Daves Combover says:

    It’s all about wasting my sad life trolling for a doomed government.

    Labour are finished, but they pay me.

  158. 158
  159. 159
    Archer Karcher says:

    Farage will win! Rejoice, Buckingham will have a real tory for the first time since Bill Benyon.

  160. 160
    Al says:

    Sit back and watch the Labour trolls fart their feeble farts onto the site.

    Cameron is doing exactly what is needed in the chardade that is PMQs. Keep saggy Gordon in place until the lection.

    Cameron landed a good one on campaign literature, made Labour look more stupid than usual.

    Job done.

  161. 161
    Mr Ned says:

    At least the tories have at least half a dozen people in their party who are more than capable enough to take over from their weak leader.

    Cameron is far better than Brown and Brown is still head and shoulders above the rest of the labour cowardocracy.

    Cameron will be under pressure for the leadership from as soon as he gets through the door of number 10!

    Shame that they are ALL wrong on policy though!

  162. 162
    Mr Ned says:


  163. 163
    Ozymandias Broon of McDoom says:

    So did I when B’Liar was was PM, (at least lived in hopes) but fairly rapidly changed my mind after Mc Broon had been in power for a very short space of time, when is Nuliebour’s funeral.

  164. 164
    Trumpetface says:

    thanks for that gem Dick Sniffin
    what’s your ‘final solution’ to this factoid then?

  165. 165
    Co-op Funeral Services says:

    not sure yet but we are ready

    bury or burn??

  166. 166
    Archer Karcher says:

    It is not the format, it is CMD. He believes in all the consensus crap that has got us where we are.

    The EU, Global Warming, Keynsian economics, the Quangocracy, bloated government, nanny statism, corporatist elitism etc, ad nauseum.

    He disagrees with none of it, just the degrees at which it is implimented. If you imagine CMD will change anything, anytime he is elected, you are a fool.
    Dismal Dave represents only a more competent version of the social fascist “third way” not an end to it, in any meaningful sense.

  167. 167
    streamfisher says:

    The Andrews Sisters version is a lot better, as near as they could get to a piss take in Presbyterian (Upbringing ?) 1950s America.

  168. 168
    MisterE says:

    You think that was bad?
    Imagine how rattled he must have been – squat down to take a dump, wait… it that? yep, two blokes over there watching me shit! now one’s taken his camera out!!

  169. 169
    Archer Karcher says:

    Are the Tories really so tribal? They want the country to be completely ruined by McMental so they can have an easier victory?
    If that is true then and the level of cynicism that reveals is correct, they are definitely no better and probably worse than, the present shower of unadulterated shite.

    Or of course, Dismal Dave really is that useless, it`s one or the other, for sure.

  170. 170
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    Brown made a remark today about Cameron going red during PMQs…and it got a big laugh from the Labour backbenches.

    Imagine the howls of protest, from those very same backbenches, if Cameron was to point out to Brown next Wednesday that he always stutters during PMQS.

  171. 171
    Archer Karcher says:

    Seconded, no matter how touchy feely they like to project themselves as, there is always a heart of darkness at its core, that could not care less about you, or anyone else outside the elite circle.

  172. 172
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    This pisses me off too. I don’t understand why Cameron doesn’t respond. Silence from the Tories only makes the jibe sound accurate.

  173. 173
    Archer Karcher says:

    Wonderful, one incompetent EU fanatical party, gains seats from another incompetent EU fanatical party. I suppose people assume that way they are “changing” the way the country is governed. Some chance.

  174. 174
    Smug Telly Hoon says:

    Tax Needn’t be Taxing!

  175. 175
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    Was feeling a bit depressed earlier, possible beckoning unemployment and all that. Then, I remembered the look on the faces of Neil Kinnock and Ben Elton when it became clear that Labour had lost the 1992 election which made me feel much better. Then I began thinking about the look on the faces of Brown, Mandelson, Balls, Harman etc later this year and I now am in party mood.

    Roll on May/June.

  176. 176
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    I’m having trouble trying to work out why Cameron doesn’t just run across the floor of the house and give Brown a good kick right in the nadgers.

  177. 177
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    Noticed this on the Spectator web site:

    “Brown’s performances must be boosting his confidence before the three planned televised debates”

    Is Cameron giving Brown a false sense of confidence at PMQs in preparation to knock him out comprehensively during the televised debates? Afterall, we have had weeks and weeks of Cameron deliberately pulling his punches during these PMQ confrontations.

  178. 178
    Fuck off Brown forever says:

    Yes, the very thought is starting to make my widger flaccidulate too!

  179. 179
    Granny smith says:

    £300 million.

  180. 180
    I Hate new Labour says:

    Oh yes, I wonder if that will be the night when Brown finally loses it on air?

    I do hope so…

  181. 181
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    Cameron: “Mr Speaker, why don’t you get off your fat troughing arse and make C’unt Brown answer my questions?”

  182. 182
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    Cos he’s at the end of a fucking long queue

  183. 183
    Cheese Sandwich says:

    I agree with you there, Frank. Especially in their Lemmy period.

  184. 184
    Browned Off says:

    Flaccidwidger I agree. Anything would be better than Dave’s withering look which I’m tiring of. Bellow back at the bastard and demand an answer to the question. Don’t just sit there with the incredulous you’re demented stare. Go kick him in the nadgers.

  185. 185
    Cheese Sandwich says:

    I am so fed up of the wimmin’ in the shithole, that I have turned and life is much easier.

    Beware Scottish Presbyterians.

  186. 186
    Browned Off says:

    and does that crab thingy with his hand.

  187. 187
    sinosimon says:

    it won’t be a pickfords van calling on may the 7th, it will be a padded cell on wheels with dog handlers and men in white coats with tranquillizer darts…….

  188. 188
    Browned Off says:

    There are going to many parties that night. You’ll be able to change your name to rigidtodger or such like.

  189. 189
    Anonymous says:

    I was on a bus in Asia a few years back. When the bus stopped this old guy in native dress got out, squatted in full view of all the passengers and proceeded to have a five minute dump. He then calmly got back on the bus leaving behind a pile of white shit like the old white dog turds that I fondly remember from the ’70’s. Looking back on it I should have stood up and clapped him back onto the bus.

  190. 190
    Gordon's favourite Butt Plug says:

    TV and moving pictures were not as relevent then.

    How many households had a TV at the start of the war?

    Churchill was an amazing leader in War. “The hour cometh, the man cometh”, and all that. Old and bald just would not cut it in the New Media age.

  191. 191
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    “Because, Mr Cameron, I’m the Prime Minister’s little lap dog and I owe my job to him and his cronies. Anyway, he’s never answered a question in his life, why is he going to start just because I ask him to?”

  192. 192
    Lord Carrington's Binoculars says:

    Funny. I’ve just got back from Detroit.

    I stayed in the MGM Casino hotel. Reminded me of the recent Labour policy of ‘saving’ collapsing cities by building a casino in the middle of the chaos.

    That was Labour shitting on the inner city pavements.

  193. 193
    I Hate new Labour says:

    And, of course, the mong-type action he does with his jaw.

  194. 194
    I Hate new Labour says:

    Vote Farage.

    That is all.

  195. 195
    mondeoman says:

    and picks his nose.

  196. 196
    mondeoman says:

    and eats it!

  197. 197
    bbc staffer says:

    We’ve already cancelled our champagne order.

  198. 198
    Down with Brown! says:

    Cameron 6 (Excellent to ask about the lack of grit, a real issue in the real world outside the Westminster Village, some good jabs, needs to ignore the taunts of Labour MPs.)

    Brown 2 (He’s trying to be funny but he’s no William Hague, screaming more than is healthy, kept taking about debt when asked about the budget deficit. Does he not know the difference?)

    Clegg 8 (Much more confident and fluent. Iraq is a good issue for the Lib Dems and will get them votes from Labour.)

  199. 199
    Down with Brown! says:

    Attacking Cameron for going to Eton or for blushing or being air-brushed is probably hilliarious for Labour hacks but isn’t funny to those outside the party. Gordon is just going after core Labour votes and has nothing to say to the middle ground.

  200. 200
    Down with Brown! says:

    He came across as a real bastard today. The guy is a smug bully who thinks he is funnier than he is. Labour MPs might think he’s funny but most people in Britain think he’s a git.

  201. 201
    Down with Brown! says:

    Cameron was clever today. People, especially women, like leaders who are polite. His performance would have won many more votes than Brown’s. Gordon came across as a bastard who can’t say sorry for anything or admit he is ever wrong.

  202. 202
    Down with Brown! says:

    Brown must go before Chilcot before the election.

  203. 203
    Anonymous says:

    I have just tried setting up a petition at no 10 for Brown to give evidence at the Iraq Inquiry before the general election, but having trouble.
    Any one else fancy a go ?

  204. 204
    HASH GORDON (saviour of the universe) says:

    You are troll ?
    fuckwit ?

    you fucking foreigner
    who real name Ali
    and can no spelling engrish word
    so fuck off back to school Johnny foreigner !
    which way is benefit office i have lot of children ?

  205. 205
    HASH GORDON (saviour of the universe) says:

    I had the same problem when i tried to sign the petition for him to go
    15 attempts before i got on
    it is rigged !

  206. 206
    Lightweight Cast Iron says:


    Cast Iron has always been a PMQ lightweight.

  207. 207
    Please don't say factoid says:

    Please don’t say “factoid”.

    It makes you sound like a cnut.

  208. 208
    Old Holbonkers says:

    Please don’t pretend to be Dick Sniffin

    it makes you sound like a gay Nanziboy skinhead

  209. 209
    Anonymous says:

    But, but, Mr Robinson (not Iris’s old man) said that Brown did well at PMQs. Why would he have done that if it wasn’t true?

  210. 210
    Coholic says:

    hey stupid
    they had the coup attempt last week despite Dave being shit all the time
    only a complete arselicking moron would try to keep the bullshit about Dave being shit on purpose going now

    Brown is safe you cock

  211. 211
    Ronnie Reagan says:

    The words most guaranteed to frighten anyone:

    “I’m from the government and I’m here to help”

  212. 212
    john says:

    It is now clear that Campbell and Blair fabricated the “dossiers” as a cover for their real intentions. This leads to another question: why did they persecute Dr David Kelly, the British UN Weapons Inspector, when they probably knew he was right? Why did Kelly have to die? See The strange case of the death of Dr David Kelly, UN Weapons Inpector. It is worrying that Campbell and Blair could have been ruthless killers at home as well as abroad, the verdict on this conclusion is, however, open.

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