December 14th, 2009

Five Hours Until the #BlogWars Begin

Tonight sees the logical extension of online political warfare.  Teams from CCHQ, Labour, GuyNews.TV and assorted political campaigns are being extraordinarily rendered into the back of black vans with darkened windows to an undisclosed secret location for battle.

For those who want to follow the action tonight’s hashtag is #blogwars.  See also ‘Bambi-killer’ ToryBear, Shane GreerThis is not just paintball….

*Guido extracted this old picture of him the late 80s on the frontline between freedom and Marxist dictatorship (unfortunately his freedom fighting friends are probably still classified).


97 Comments

  1. 1
    thick as thieves says:

    am I allowed to bring my axe?

  2. 2
    Technomist says:

    What I did on my holidays?

    Guido, this is nonsense, and you know it.

  3. 3
    Talwin says:

    Guido, if you still own that footwear shouldn’t you now be pissing about on the streets of Copenhagen?

  4. 4
    Talwin says:

    Techno, see above right, ‘Tittle Tattle and gossip’. Also known as light relief.

  5. 5
    SimonMagus says:

    It’s my axe – you get the sledgehammer

  6. 6
    oldfella says:

    **** BREAKING NEWS ****

    news has just reached me that our dearly beloved leader Herr Brown is to leave these shores tomorrow evening for Copenhagen, two days early, in order to ‘unblock’ the talks on climate change which have already descended into farce. Just who does this man think he is. FFS????

  7. 7
    Engineer says:

    Sandals…..pink splodges….

    Glad I’m oop north. We don’t do pink splodges oop north.

  8. 8
    Mike Naylor says:

    just the man to save the world. Thank God for Brown (although he’s no friend of mine, obviously).

  9. 9
    Jonah says:

    Gordon Brown visits the David Beckham Academy

    Gordon Brown visits the David Beckham Academy

    David Beckham shuts down football academy… and even his sister is angry about it

    http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23783375-david-beckham-shuts-down-football-academy-and-even-his-sister-is-angry-about-it.do

  10. 10
    Gurka the mercenary says:

    The one eyed fucker gives GBP 1500m to FIGHT fictional climate change in other countries other than our own. More than france and germany.

    Yet he can omly just find after significant pressure GBP 24m for the TERRITORIAL ARMY who are fighting a rwar.

    Our boys die in the STAN

  11. 11
  12. 12
    Touching Cloth says:

    Brown walks like he has got a couple of spearmint tic-tacs tucked in his foreskin

  13. 13
    mandy says:

    Don’t point that thing at me buster.

  14. 14
    Sir William Waad says:

    And you think Gordon looks silly?

  15. 15
    Irene says:

    Nice sandals!

  16. 16
    Sir William Waad says:

    Never tried it but I’ll take your word for it.

  17. 17
    dierdre says:

    Yeah, it’ll be just like you to flash your chopper, сunt.

  18. 18
    The Dresser says:

    I’d get back on that diet too Guido, The combination of the’ Mallen Streak’ and the safari suit is good look.

  19. 19
    Mike Naylor says:

    ?????

  20. 20
    Harriet Harperson says:

    Don’t worry, I’ll be in charge whilst he is jetting off in a sort of carbon friendly type way to meet his best friend Obama

  21. 21
    STW says:

    Is that like soap in the jap’s eye?

  22. 22
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Egypt got 7 plagues. We get gordon Brown. Who does God wish to punish most? discuss.

  23. 23
    Taxi for McLetchie! says:

    Still plenty of Marxists about Guido and they aren’t all in Denmark.

  24. 24
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Don’t you mean Omaha?

  25. 25
    dulux says:

    With sandals like that you should turn the gun on yourself.

  26. 26
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Seconded.

  27. 27
  28. 28
    thick as thieves says:

    you shouldn’t be watching you fucking sex pest.

  29. 29
    Rolf Harris says:

    What do you do after you have painted your ball?

  30. 30
    caesars wife says:

    I take you expect other bloggers will be huddled in the bunker and you can keep em from venturing out .
    Advertising revenues should go up if you wipe the opposition out !

  31. 31
    Dave"Copy & Paste" Cameron says:

    Three pairs, a Swedish couple, an Irish Couple and a Scottish couple are about to tee off at St. Andrews.

    The Swede’s wife stepped up to the tee and, as she bent over to place her ball, a gust of wind blew her skirt up and revealed her lack of underwear.

    “Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any skivvies?”, Ole demanded.
    “Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any,” she replied.

    The Swede immediately reached into his pocket and said, “For the sake of decency, here’s a $50. Go and buy yourself some underwear.”

    Next, the Irishman’s wife bent over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blew up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies. “Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You’ve no knickers. Why not?”

    She replied, “I can’t afford any on the little money you give me.”

    Patrick reached into his pocket and said, “For the sake of decency, here’s a $20. Go out and buy yourself some underwear!”

    Lastly, the Scotsman’s wife bent over. The wind also took her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked.

    “Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where the hell are yer drawers?”

    She too explained, ‘You dinna give me enough money to be able at affarrd any.”

    The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and said, “Well, fer the love ‘o decency, here’s a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit..”

  32. 32
    Mike Naylor says:

    The new Steve Irwin

  33. 33
    concrete pump's mixer says:

    That money was already budgeted to save the World. He even had the foresight to know he was going to double the already generous offer, when everyone else baulked. (Already budgeted for!). The man is total Genius.

  34. 34
    joke hell says:

    What’s this got to do with paint balling fuck face?

  35. 35
    Escape to victory says:

    Like my old boss used to say – ‘ Don’t complain about travelling, while you’re marching you’re not fighting.’

  36. 36
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Sandals in the snow? The demonstrators have all turned up in their looted Seattle wintersports wear.

  37. 37
    dierdre says:

    I’ll watch what I’ll fucking want to, knob jockey.

  38. 38
    concrete pump's mixer says:

    So why did it close? There were going to be Millions of children going to benefit?

  39. 39
    Escape to victory says:

    Better than sm -egg and cheese.

  40. 40
    bernard manning says:

    Guido wearing Jesus Creepers. Not good but very funny

  41. 41
    P. Dough says:

    look for two little boys

  42. 42
    Dave"Copy & Paste" Cameron says:

    I’m glad you asked that.
    I am playing mind games and trying to destabilise “Old Holborn” before I go into action paintballing.
    O.H. loves my gags before battle

  43. 43
    P. Dough says:

    Its the Brown approach to the defence budget

  44. 44
    Gordon Brown says:

    Sorry to notice from the picture that you only appear to have a left leg.
    Do please let me know if you lost your right leg in friendly fire?

    Fancy a round of golf ???

  45. 45
    Catosays says:

    Sister?….You mean there’s more of the twats?

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    Exactly. Gordon was Bullshitting Big Big Time. Why haven’t the MSM picked up on this? Gordon gave the impression that this was a government initiative for every child in the country, he was even trying to justify the 2012 games through it. PURE BULLSHIT.

  47. 47
    Martin Luther King's Image says:

    May all the plumbers lay down their tools

    May all the economists lay down their pens

    May all lawyers lay down their whigs

    May all weathermen lay down their maps

    I have had a dream

    And is says to me

    That Brown must be stopped

    That he must be brought back from Copenhagen

    That he must not waste anymore time

    That he should be strung up for grand larceny, for impersonating a human, for having a bad bad haircut

    And then peace will reign in old England town

    Amen

  48. 48
    The Man who saved the world says:

    Gordon Brown has brought forward his arrival in Copenhagen to tomorrow night in order to be seen to be the first major world leader to join the climate summit.

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/environment/copenhagen/article6955750.ece

    Guess what…That means No PMQs for him this week.

  49. 49
    Dave Cameron says:

    May I be the first to pay a tribute ?

    Murder squad detectives were today investigating the death of a man who fell from the window of 10 Downing Street

    The man, believed to be aged 58, was discovered outside Number 1o Downing Street
    He was taken to a north London hospital with multiple injuries but died a short time after arrival.

    Witnesses told police there was a noisy disturbance in the house before the man fell.

  50. 50
    Dick the Prick says:

    How old is that photo Guido – yer fat knacker?

  51. 51
    The IMF is coming says:

    Glad to see they are using a flattering photo of him. What a helmet

  52. 52
    Mr Cholmondley Warner says:

    Nice picture, but obviously not a very successful fight as we’ve ended up with said Marxist dictatorship!

  53. 53

    > Why did it close?

    The next “Canary Wharf” is being built there.

  54. 54
    Ray Manta says:

    I’m no fan of Steve Irwin

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    Downing Street will use Copenhagen to boost the image of Gordon Brown, who was in Afghanistan at the weekend, as a world leader

    Well they failed miserably to boost his image in Afghanistan, will Copenhagen be any better? Old Chinese proverb say you can’t polish a turd,

  56. 56
    The Dark Continent says:

    Looks like you’ve shared a drink or two with Greg Wales.

  57. 57
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    There goes another £1.5 billion of our money…..

  58. 58
    Catflap says:

    Copenhagen talks collapse.
    The Curse can be invoked just by suggestion of intent.
    Well done Gordon

  59. 59
    Muppetry says:

    Just who is pulling his strings ???

  60. 60
    Anonymous says:

    So, BA cabin staff couldn’t give a shit about their customers. sack them willy

  61. 61
    Nick2 says:

    I see that the Copenhagen summit has been ‘suspended’

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8411898.stm

    “Developing countries fear they would lose many of the gains they made when the Kyoto agreement was signed in 1997.

    They point out that the Kyoto Protocol is the only international legally binding instrument that has curbed carbon emissions, and also that it contains functioning mechanisms for bringing development benefits to poor countries such as money for investment in clean energy projects. ”

    The prospect of aid-demanding nations threatening to de-rail the agreement that gives them yet more money is bizarre! Hope they succeed!

  62. 62
    By the throat ............ says:

    William Hague’s chance to really savage Harperson ??

  63. 63

    First footage of Tory Bear in action

  64. 64
    My Vote Never Counts says:

    The man from Dyno rod?

  65. 65
    Jimmy says:

    Those were the days. Back when terrorism was cool.

  66. 66
    HandsomeDavid says:

    Yet he could not make it to the Lisbon Treaty signing on time. A TOTAL hypocrite.

  67. 67
    Jimmy says:

    Those were the days. Back when terrorism was cool
    .

  68. 68

    Iain Dale practising

  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

    I assume that as he is wearing an ultra short length Flak jacket then there is nothing to protect in the manhood department.

  70. 70
    backwoodsman says:

    *Guido extracted this old picture of him the late 80s on the frontline between freedom and Marxist dictatorship (unfortunately his freedom fighting friends are probably still classified).
    Whereas, harriet harperson, our very own would be marxist dictator , has been ‘out’ for some time and will be running the junta in the dear leaders’ absence !

  71. 71
  72. 72
    PJs plaque says:

    OOOOOH matron

  73. 73
    Mr Plum says:

    I think its a ploy to stop him going

  74. 74
    Last Chance Sal - HOON says:

    BREAKING NEWS

    BROWN’S SCORCHED EARTH STRATEGY

    Jim Fitzpatrick (DEFRA Minister and Vegetarian) was heard to refer to conversation between himself and ‘Wedgie’ Benn (DEFRA Minister and Vegetarian) concerning the timely release of FMD (Foot & Mouth Disease) from Pirbright Laboratories (Surrey) which will be announced two weeks before the next General Election.

    The objective / strategy is to delay the Election until the finances improve and to show how magnificent Brown has performed during the crisis – The disease will last for at least THREE months and an estimated 5 Million cattle will be destroyed.

    The disease will be released in five key areas almost simultaneously and will be made to appear it has been spread by cattle movement

    Brown will involve the ARMY and will ‘manage’ the crisis via COBRA himself.

  75. 75

    I don’t do adverts (or censorship or moderation) at the Old Holborn blog.

    So no invite.

  76. 76
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Who’s that twerp sitting behind a machine gun pretending to be hard? Have you seen those sandals? Must be one of those lefty ‘revolutionary tourists’ we always used to be hearing about – you know, the ones who went to Nicaragua or Cuba for their holidays.

  77. 77
  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    If a joke then IMO it’s not funny, and if you really believe it then you’re deluded.

  79. 79
    Mr Plum says:

    The Copenhagen summit has been suspended due to breaking news –
    Scientists have just realised that they had the Hockey Stick Graph upside down.
    They are now calling for more carbon to be released, poor countries will now have to pay the developed countries to help warm them up and prevent an ice age.
    Ocean levels are due to drop 100m creating a land bridge between Britain and France.
    People are being advised to stay indoors, turn up the heating and eat more red meat to stay warm.
    Vegetarians will be the most affected, the ground will be too hard to grow root crops and will suffer frostbite from wearing sandals.
    However Gordon Brown has joined the climate cooling deniers saying that it is all a made up plot by right wing extremists.

  80. 80
    Talwin says:

    Deja vu, then.

  81. 81
    barefootcontessa says:

    At least he’s not wearing white ankle socks with his sandals!

  82. 82
    Penfold says:

    Flash

  83. 83
    Road_Hog says:

    We still had an empire when that was taken, it’s amazing these days how they can take an old Victorian black and white photograph and turn it into colour.

  84. 84
    Nike says:

    Very good, and so many images of TaT with American ‘Cousins’.

  85. 85
    Nike says:

    Er Greed?

  86. 86
    Veggie says:

    Vegetarians eat veg which is grown by farmers.

  87. 87
    Nike says:

    Brilliant.

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    You look like a fat callous fuck in that photo. Plus ca change old boy.

  89. 89
    Road_Hog says:

    Yeah I can understand it, Brand Posh Beckham are really struggling for money, it’s not like Beckham couldn’t have subsidised his on academy, not on the 25 million a year odd that he makes.

  90. 90
    Anonymous says:

    The only thing you are on the frontline of Guido is the queue to the buffet

  91. 91
    Boycott the Licence Fee says:

    Nice one! Has a ring of future truth about it, too.

  92. 92
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    It’s the sort of picture your mother gets out to embarrass you when you take your first serious girlfriend home.

  93. 93
    Real Alternative says:

    Guido extracted this old picture of him

    Whoever goes into combat wearing sandals? Looks like the same procurement people as are now in the MoD.

  94. 94
    Real Alternative says:

    When is Cameron gonna take it back? he ain’t, Cameron is BlueLabour.

    We need a real alternative.

  95. 95
    Real Alternative says:

    So you are one of us, HO, the citizens.

    ConsHome, LabHome, LabList, Guido, Mrs Dale, they are all part of the same corporation. NuLabour BluLabour, same old, same old.

    We need a real alternative.

  96. 96
    Observer says:

    Poseur

  97. 97
    Anonymous says:

    I can’t wait for tomorrow to hear the squeals of pain from the fat bastards that are ‘all mouth and no trousers’…

    Having a very loud blog voice sounds a bit silly when the Fawkes is audibly a wimp and probably acts a soft southern [irish] nonce…


Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath


Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers