December 14th, 2009

Five Hours Until the #BlogWars Begin

Tonight sees the logical extension of online political warfare.  Teams from CCHQ, Labour, GuyNews.TV and assorted political campaigns are being extraordinarily rendered into the back of black vans with darkened windows to an undisclosed secret location for battle.

For those who want to follow the action tonight’s hashtag is #blogwars.  See also ‘Bambi-killer’ ToryBear, Shane GreerThis is not just paintball….

*Guido extracted this old picture of him the late 80s on the frontline between freedom and Marxist dictatorship (unfortunately his freedom fighting friends are probably still classified).


  1. 1
    thick as thieves says:

    am I allowed to bring my axe?


  2. 2
    Technomist says:

    What I did on my holidays?

    Guido, this is nonsense, and you know it.


  3. 3
    Talwin says:

    Guido, if you still own that footwear shouldn’t you now be pissing about on the streets of Copenhagen?


  4. 6
    oldfella says:

    **** BREAKING NEWS ****

    news has just reached me that our dearly beloved leader Herr Brown is to leave these shores tomorrow evening for Copenhagen, two days early, in order to ‘unblock’ the talks on climate change which have already descended into farce. Just who does this man think he is. FFS????


    • 8
      Mike Naylor says:

      just the man to save the world. Thank God for Brown (although he’s no friend of mine, obviously).


    • 20
      Harriet Harperson says:

      Don’t worry, I’ll be in charge whilst he is jetting off in a sort of carbon friendly type way to meet his best friend Obama


    • 35
      Escape to victory says:

      Like my old boss used to say – ‘ Don’t complain about travelling, while you’re marching you’re not fighting.’


      • 47
        Martin Luther King's Image says:

        May all the plumbers lay down their tools

        May all the economists lay down their pens

        May all lawyers lay down their whigs

        May all weathermen lay down their maps

        I have had a dream

        And is says to me

        That Brown must be stopped

        That he must be brought back from Copenhagen

        That he must not waste anymore time

        That he should be strung up for grand larceny, for impersonating a human, for having a bad bad haircut

        And then peace will reign in old England town



    • 57
      Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

      There goes another £1.5 billion of our money…..


    • 64
      My Vote Never Counts says:

      The man from Dyno rod?


    • 82
      Penfold says:



  5. 7
    Engineer says:

    Sandals… splodges….

    Glad I’m oop north. We don’t do pink splodges oop north.


  6. 10
    Gurka the mercenary says:

    The one eyed fucker gives GBP 1500m to FIGHT fictional climate change in other countries other than our own. More than france and germany.

    Yet he can omly just find after significant pressure GBP 24m for the TERRITORIAL ARMY who are fighting a rwar.

    Our boys die in the STAN


    • 26
      Grumpy Old Man says:



    • 33
      concrete pump's mixer says:

      That money was already budgeted to save the World. He even had the foresight to know he was going to double the already generous offer, when everyone else baulked. (Already budgeted for!). The man is total Genius.


    • 94
      Real Alternative says:

      When is Cameron gonna take it back? he ain’t, Cameron is BlueLabour.

      We need a real alternative.


  7. 11
  8. 12
    Touching Cloth says:

    Brown walks like he has got a couple of spearmint tic-tacs tucked in his foreskin


  9. 13
    mandy says:

    Don’t point that thing at me buster.


  10. 14
    Sir William Waad says:

    And you think Gordon looks silly?


  11. 15
    Irene says:

    Nice sandals!


  12. 18
    The Dresser says:

    I’d get back on that diet too Guido, The combination of the’ Mallen Streak’ and the safari suit is good look.


  13. 25
    dulux says:

    With sandals like that you should turn the gun on yourself.


  14. 29
    Rolf Harris says:

    What do you do after you have painted your ball?


  15. 30
    caesars wife says:

    I take you expect other bloggers will be huddled in the bunker and you can keep em from venturing out .
    Advertising revenues should go up if you wipe the opposition out !


  16. 31
    Dave"Copy & Paste" Cameron says:

    Three pairs, a Swedish couple, an Irish Couple and a Scottish couple are about to tee off at St. Andrews.

    The Swede’s wife stepped up to the tee and, as she bent over to place her ball, a gust of wind blew her skirt up and revealed her lack of underwear.

    “Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any skivvies?”, Ole demanded.
    “Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any,” she replied.

    The Swede immediately reached into his pocket and said, “For the sake of decency, here’s a $50. Go and buy yourself some underwear.”

    Next, the Irishman’s wife bent over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blew up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies. “Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You’ve no knickers. Why not?”

    She replied, “I can’t afford any on the little money you give me.”

    Patrick reached into his pocket and said, “For the sake of decency, here’s a $20. Go out and buy yourself some underwear!”

    Lastly, the Scotsman’s wife bent over. The wind also took her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked.

    “Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where the hell are yer drawers?”

    She too explained, ‘You dinna give me enough money to be able at affarrd any.”

    The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and said, “Well, fer the love ‘o decency, here’s a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit..”


    • 34
      joke hell says:

      What’s this got to do with paint balling fuck face?


      • 42
        Dave"Copy & Paste" Cameron says:

        I’m glad you asked that.
        I am playing mind games and trying to destabilise “Old Holborn” before I go into action paintballing.
        O.H. loves my gags before battle


        • 75

          I don’t do adverts (or censorship or moderation) at the Old Holborn blog.

          So no invite.


          • Real Alternative says:

            So you are one of us, HO, the citizens.

            ConsHome, LabHome, LabList, Guido, Mrs Dale, they are all part of the same corporation. NuLabour BluLabour, same old, same old.

            We need a real alternative.


    • 43
      P. Dough says:

      Its the Brown approach to the defence budget


  17. 40
    bernard manning says:

    Guido wearing Jesus Creepers. Not good but very funny


  18. 44
    Gordon Brown says:

    Sorry to notice from the picture that you only appear to have a left leg.
    Do please let me know if you lost your right leg in friendly fire?

    Fancy a round of golf ???


  19. 48
    The Man who saved the world says:

    Gordon Brown has brought forward his arrival in Copenhagen to tomorrow night in order to be seen to be the first major world leader to join the climate summit.

    Guess what…That means No PMQs for him this week.


    • 51
      The IMF is coming says:

      Glad to see they are using a flattering photo of him. What a helmet


      • 55
        Anonymous says:

        Downing Street will use Copenhagen to boost the image of Gordon Brown, who was in Afghanistan at the weekend, as a world leader

        Well they failed miserably to boost his image in Afghanistan, will Copenhagen be any better? Old Chinese proverb say you can’t polish a turd,


      • 69
        Anonymous says:

        I assume that as he is wearing an ultra short length Flak jacket then there is nothing to protect in the manhood department.


    • 59
      Muppetry says:

      Just who is pulling his strings ???


    • 62
      By the throat ............ says:

      William Hague’s chance to really savage Harperson ??


    • 66
      HandsomeDavid says:

      Yet he could not make it to the Lisbon Treaty signing on time. A TOTAL hypocrite.


  20. 49
    Dave Cameron says:

    May I be the first to pay a tribute ?

    Murder squad detectives were today investigating the death of a man who fell from the window of 10 Downing Street

    The man, believed to be aged 58, was discovered outside Number 1o Downing Street
    He was taken to a north London hospital with multiple injuries but died a short time after arrival.

    Witnesses told police there was a noisy disturbance in the house before the man fell.


  21. 52
    Mr Cholmondley Warner says:

    Nice picture, but obviously not a very successful fight as we’ve ended up with said Marxist dictatorship!


  22. 56
    The Dark Continent says:

    Looks like you’ve shared a drink or two with Greg Wales.


  23. 58
    Catflap says:

    Copenhagen talks collapse.
    The Curse can be invoked just by suggestion of intent.
    Well done Gordon


  24. 60
    Anonymous says:

    So, BA cabin staff couldn’t give a shit about their customers. sack them willy


  25. 61
    Nick2 says:

    I see that the Copenhagen summit has been ‘suspended’

    “Developing countries fear they would lose many of the gains they made when the Kyoto agreement was signed in 1997.

    They point out that the Kyoto Protocol is the only international legally binding instrument that has curbed carbon emissions, and also that it contains functioning mechanisms for bringing development benefits to poor countries such as money for investment in clean energy projects. ”

    The prospect of aid-demanding nations threatening to de-rail the agreement that gives them yet more money is bizarre! Hope they succeed!


  26. 65
    Jimmy says:

    Those were the days. Back when terrorism was cool.


  27. 67
    Jimmy says:

    Those were the days. Back when terrorism was cool


  28. 72
    PJs plaque says:

    OOOOOH matron


  29. 74
    Last Chance Sal - HOON says:



    Jim Fitzpatrick (DEFRA Minister and Vegetarian) was heard to refer to conversation between himself and ‘Wedgie’ Benn (DEFRA Minister and Vegetarian) concerning the timely release of FMD (Foot & Mouth Disease) from Pirbright Laboratories (Surrey) which will be announced two weeks before the next General Election.

    The objective / strategy is to delay the Election until the finances improve and to show how magnificent Brown has performed during the crisis – The disease will last for at least THREE months and an estimated 5 Million cattle will be destroyed.

    The disease will be released in five key areas almost simultaneously and will be made to appear it has been spread by cattle movement

    Brown will involve the ARMY and will ‘manage’ the crisis via COBRA himself.


  30. 76
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Who’s that twerp sitting behind a machine gun pretending to be hard? Have you seen those sandals? Must be one of those lefty ‘revolutionary tourists’ we always used to be hearing about – you know, the ones who went to Nicaragua or Cuba for their holidays.


  31. 79
    Mr Plum says:

    The Copenhagen summit has been suspended due to breaking news –
    Scientists have just realised that they had the Hockey Stick Graph upside down.
    They are now calling for more carbon to be released, poor countries will now have to pay the developed countries to help warm them up and prevent an ice age.
    Ocean levels are due to drop 100m creating a land bridge between Britain and France.
    People are being advised to stay indoors, turn up the heating and eat more red meat to stay warm.
    Vegetarians will be the most affected, the ground will be too hard to grow root crops and will suffer frostbite from wearing sandals.
    However Gordon Brown has joined the climate cooling deniers saying that it is all a made up plot by right wing extremists.


  32. 88
    Anonymous says:

    You look like a fat callous fuck in that photo. Plus ca change old boy.


    • 92
      Cato Street Conspirator says:

      It’s the sort of picture your mother gets out to embarrass you when you take your first serious girlfriend home.


  33. 90
    Anonymous says:

    The only thing you are on the frontline of Guido is the queue to the buffet


  34. 93
    Real Alternative says:

    Guido extracted this old picture of him

    Whoever goes into combat wearing sandals? Looks like the same procurement people as are now in the MoD.


  35. 97
    Anonymous says:

    I can’t wait for tomorrow to hear the squeals of pain from the fat bastards that are ‘all mouth and no trousers’…

    Having a very loud blog voice sounds a bit silly when the Fawkes is audibly a wimp and probably acts a soft southern [irish] nonce…


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