Looks like the Tories aren’t the only blues to see their Euro hopes destroyed. From the Everton FC site:
The Prime Minister will be cheering Everton on tonight as the Blues face Benifca. Gordon Brown visited the North West earlier and was asked about the nation’s favourite topic, football. The PM said he was hoping for a home win at Goodison. “I want to see all British teams do well when they are playing against European opposition,” said Mr Brown. “Everton of course play tonight. I hope they do well in the Europa League and I hope they get through this stage of the competition.”
Guido broke the news to Dizzy, a lifelong Everton fan. His exact words were “That’s it we’re f****d, that f*****g c**t has really f****d us now.”
Right.
Let’s start a sweepstake and guess how many Everton lose by….
Everton 0 Benfica 4
Gordon’s exact quote before the spinners got to it was
“I want to see all Scottish, erm , and Welsh, and Irish and er, that other nation,erm, can’t remember the name just now. Anyway I wish teams do well when they are playing against European opposition,but I wish Euro teams to do well also. I signed the Lisbon treaty that allows our teams to play in Europe and still be able to be treated in European hospitals providing they hold a European health card” said Mr Brown. “Everpool of course play tonight. I hope they do well in the 1st division and I hope they get through to the finals of the World cup.
I also would like to add that I like chocolate biscuits. Thankyou”
Well he has complety F*cked the UK so he might as well f*ck the football teams as well I guess and make it a job lot.
let’s hope eurodave hasn’t given a cast iron guarantee they will win either
Hi Gordon,
Could you give your full support and best wishes to the All Blacks this weekend.
Much appreciated.
Will the Jonah Curse work in reverse?
Gordon has said he thinks X-Factor’s twin contestants John and Edward Grimes are “not very good”.
I suppose that means they will win it now!
@Ollie Cromwell – almost certainly. A personal criticism from Gordon will be like the Midas touch. Vote Jedward now!
@Ollie – Jedward are consistently receiving the highest number of phone-in votes.
@Ollie
“Will the Jonah Curse work in reverse?”
Idon’t think so. Brown is so shite and his touch so lethal that it only works one way, and that is down, down, deeper and down.
Fortunately it was one of my evenings out last night and I didn’t have time to pass Dizzy’s message onto the lifelong Everton fan here.
Mind you when I returned it wasn’t a happy atmosphere.
you forgot to mention that it’s the right thing to do. and it started in america.
2157: Full-time Everton 0-2 Benfica
Well done Jonah!
7-0 on aggregate. There is only one side on Merseyside, and it ain’t Tranmere.
But I don’t like the little white sprinkly bits they put on my biscuits that look awfully like broken up Xanax tablets. Andrew Marr said he liked them though.
Everton, all out for 24 runs in the first set. Benfica to get 5 tries in the second chucka after biding 3 no trumps.
…..and the bowlers Holding the Batsman’s Willy…
Noooooooooooo Beeboid – I don’t know anything about cricket (yaaaaawn) but I do know that quote (typical – mind like a swamp):
“the batsman’s Holding, the bowler’s Willy” – simples!
There was also Lillie bowled Willy caught Dilly.
Beeboid was right, Sukie.
did Gordoom give a cast iron guarantee they would win?
Everton, Everton? What the hell does that mean?
Toffee.
It is also reputedly the home of a stripey mint known as a ‘humbug’. Quite a lot of that about, these last few days.
hey engineer, they call you are a full of humbug bullshit. innit.
you lying tory scum bastard.
if you tell lies you will never go to heaven.
during the recent EU related threads you were tricked into showing your true blue colours. yet you always lie that you are not a conservative.
desist from lying to the reader.
so you are a tory propagandist troll. nobody here cares.
so you can stop lying that you are not.
you lying fucking c’unt.
now go about your business in a more truthful fashion.
thankyou.
I can’t work out what that first line is supposed to mean but traitors like enineer make me get angry and I sometimes I start thumping the keyboard as if it were that tory turncoat engineer’s face.
but what I think I was trying to say is that engineer is a stupid fucking wanker who is full of humbug and he talks a load of bullshit because he is a lying TORY SHITFUCK or something like that.
fuck off engineer, you’ve been rumbled you c’unt.
Everton are the only British team to have lost with Pierluigi Collina reffing so maybe they will break this jink~?
you’re in the know, mate
Those Everton mints are striped black and white aren’t they? oops! suppose I shouldn’t have said that.
That Gordon jinx is just too powerful.
SPOT THE DIFFERENCE -
RADIO FIVE LIVE SAYS:
WE DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT WAR AND OCCUPATION SO WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT FOOTBALL INSTEAD
GUIDO FAWKES SAYS:
I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT WAR AND OCCUPATION AND SO I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT FOOTBALL INSTEAD
grow a fucking spine fawkes.
good men are dying so never mind this piffle. step up to the plate.
we are at war. if people here wanted this sort of inane post then they would either tune in to five live or watch sky sports.
get a fucking grip man. what is the point of being a propagandist if you are just going to piss it up against the wall by behaving like a coked up bbc producer. FFS.
a very disappointing effort.
I will give it a B-: and that is being generous.
must do better.
raise your game.
And who’s fault is our current Afghan predicament? Making light of those dying at the behest of your labour idols is truly beneath contempt (and therefore very New Labour in itself).
Kindly fuck off, you sorry little leftist troll.
whose fault? that is a good question, well done spastic!
well, more tories voted for the war in Iraq than any other party.
so you could say that the tories and tony blair are the most culpable players of the piece.
Afghanistan is ofcourse a different story. we didn’t kick the door in like we did with Iraq, we sneaked into Afghanistan like thieves in the night because the mission never did make any sense and our politicians knew that to be the case. the invasion of Afghanistan was nothing more than a bone thrown to the american people as revenge for 9/11. the guilty country was not Afghanistan but Saudi Arabia. Saudi Arabia is the country from where the terrorists who flew the planes into the twin towers. not one of the terrorists was and Afghan.
we should have invaded and changed the fascist regime of the Saudis after the attack on america.
we attacked Afghanistan instead: a country that had nothing to do with 9/11.
before 9/11 no Afghan had ever attacked an american and the Afghans did not start attacking american soldiers until the americans invaded and occupied their country.
these are the facts.
it is time to negotiate an orderly and honourable withdrawal from the region.
we have reached a dead end in Afghanistan.
I’m afraid Tat is right . Foul mouthed but right.
Me thinks it will be Bliar/Brown on trial for war crimes ,not DC.The buck stopped with the Bush poodle.Isuppose it was the tories who crapped on david kelly.
Saudi was always way off limits because of US oil interests but agree entirely its the desert camel riders that should have been obliterated.
Now of course its the worst of all worlds.
That said the troops in Afghanistan should be brought home now, history has shown the Afghans never lose.
Democracy in tribal robberland is a pipedream.
tat, you’re awful angry tonight aren’t you? Under the invective, you have a good point to make.
Can’t wait until QPR are in Europe.
Ghost of Brian Johnstone – nowhere to reply up there (points north) – I was right first time – I know absolutely nothing about cricket and hence should keep my ignorance to myself – but at least I got the ‘Holding’ and ‘Willy’ right (hee hee)…..(skulks away in shame). Apologies for my arrogance and ignorance. I’m not worthy – at cricket trivia anyway.
Just for you, Sukyspook.
Aaaahhhhh yes Aggers – ‘the corpse’ – it’s what cricket was invented for!!
Shortly after that, cricket was ’sold off’ – like everything that was nailed down or not – and footballers became walking billboards for giant and corrupt corporations too (AIG – allegedly, of course, comes to mind. . .).
I confess I used to watch cricket when it was solely TX’d on AlJaBeeba and in its heyday.
Everything, EVERYTHING has been ruined – for a quick buck….sigh.
Thanks for posting it – it made my morning, given the atrocious news coming out of Ford Hood overnight.
Love n hugs
Suke
Like us London Muslim – they already are…
I leave home for a walk with Old Holborn and that Scottish twat curses the mighty blues!!! Never leaving again! It’s not the leaving that greaves me but my darlin’ when I think of EU!
don’t forget GB Jonahed Dave in his recent interview with QueersPiers Morgan “Gordon Brown says David Cameron is a ‘very good politician’”
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/gordon-brown/6490015/Gordon-Brown-says-David-Cameron-is-a-very-good-politician.html
since then it’s gone a bit TU for Dave, albeit this was totally predictable
Gordo, for once, knew what he was doing!
Gordon sinks Everton’s hopes.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/europe/8342599.stm
Maybe bogey boy should wish Nick Griffin luck and do us all a favour
p.s. First…
Oooohhh – get her!
Would it be bad form just to shout BOLLOX as a general moment of zeitgeist – fank fuck I is now a fucking european – anyone got some decent bottled body odour – accidently had a shower this morning and that’s simply not done any more.
quite right Richard. went for 3 months without a shower once. never did me any harm. youngsters these days don’t know how well off they are. showers! bah.
Some of us have a bath once every 7 months, whether we need it or not.
Fucking Rooney
Your mate Dizzy isn’t Brian Sewell by any chance?
AAAAAARGH I FUCKING HATE HIM. Shit flows forth from his mouth like a chocolate fountain. The Cu*t can’t see the irony of what he said.
I quite like Dizzy SO17.
Will no-one rid us of this turbulent Prime Minister?–in the style of Thomas a Beckett by the sword-he derves it for hi complicity in Afghanistan.
Each soldier killed was worth 10 of this lying insincere bastard
not sure about your exchange rate there Jethro
tull it as it is..Jethro
Jethro your being far to kind one of our brave soldiers is worth 100 GB’s. Could we not get an IED for GB and for starters I will supply the mobile Nokia of course.
Afghanis are worth more too.
“What miserable drones and traitors have I nourished and brought up in my household, who let their people be treated with such shameful contempt by a low-born cleric?”
Was Thomas a the brother of the blessed Margaret?
Did he enjoy caravanning too?
Brown gives horses’ bell ends everywhere a very bad name.
That did make me laugh!
It’s not just Everton who are fucked. We’re all fucked.
“I want to see all British teams do well when they are playing against European opposition,” said Mr Brown.
Looks like we’re screwed for the foreseeable future then. What a Hoon.
Only sport this chump knows about is Tossing the Caber. Can anyone track down the genius who poked his eye out playing Rugby? Probably not…
It will go like a Brown government.
Everton a goal up after an easy start, confident until conceeding a half time equaliser. Then nerves and mistakes creep in to allow an equaliser. After that a swift collapse with the Everton fans begging for the final whistle to put them out of their misery!
Then,at 1-0 up Moyes just resigns and the Finance director takes his place.
The FD proceeds to then rack up the biggest goal deficit in history, while proclaiming that his team are best placed in Europe to win the champions league.
Nice one – had to laugh at that.
Me too.
When abused by fans the FD just hides in his dugout smirking like an demented dog being fisted by a vet.
As an Everton fan, I think that that was very funny!
If only ‘Braveheart the Gorgon’ hadn’t opened his mouth.
He hates the English, so why open his Gob?
He should stick to dreary Scottish Football.
He opened his mouth because Bill Kenright is a Labour luvvie. Blame Bill.
What happened to your proposed saviour as announced by Kenright on Samuelson and his Brunei based Sports Fund.
Dodgy buggers
Nuclear Bombs have kept the peace in Europe not the fucking EU.
We should invest more not less in Trident. Then at least when a nazisocialistcatholic fuck up takes over the continent we have a deterant against the Armada.
Nukes Are Needed Now, Yes! Nanny!
The islamo-nutters in Afghano-Pakistan are poised to take over a nuclear power. They’re not like the Russian soviets, who whilst brutal and bestial were not completely mad.
It’s just a load of old toffee.
Another one of our brave young soldiers bites the dust in Helmand
Province and all the SnotGobbler can think of is currying votes from
football fans. I hope every one of our dead soldiers fucking haunt him every night until he dies of poison bogies.
How is Susan Boyles arse for spots? Brown you are a Cu*t.
They’re OK, thanks very much for asking.
while drowning in snot
I’d prefer gassing…
Wilfred Owen paints a very vivid picture of a fitting end for the Maximum Imbecile – nails his breakdancing video too…
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And flound’ring like a man in fire or lime…
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.
If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil’s sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,–
That’d be a fitting end for him I feel.
Dolce et decorum est..
Those soldiers’ ghosts might say to him:
I am the soldier that you killed, my friend.
I knew you in this dark: for so you frowned
Yesterday through me as you bragged and lied.
In my dreams Brown and his ilk are the gas and we are drowning. Owen wrote this to highlight the tragedy and reality of war. Brown should take note that it is not ’sweet and fitting’ to die for your country in a pointless campaign.
The troops should be withdrawn NOW. No invading force will ever win in Afghanistan. They should be back in the UK invading the HoC.
O/T,but hey ho…
Has anyone else noticed that the rabid attack dogs (i.e. the usual suspects here) seem to have no interest in pursuing to a conclusion any particular subjects that Guido puts up?
There’s a pattern, where a subject is raised…and said usual suspects start foaming at the mouth with multiple,repeated posts,usually slagging off Tories/LibDems..blah blah.
Then,mystically,when a new subject is published,their venom is immediately turned to that new issue..and the previous one (upon which their lives seemed to depend) magically forgotten or ignored.
I wonder what this means??
Are they incapable of following more than one subject at a time?
Personally,I think they are too dumb to realise that their spoiling tactics are shallow and easily spotted.
Carry on,boys and girls.
what are you a psychiatrist?..had one of them in the regiment once…too clever by half. had to go. can’t say no more.
Strange you might think, that I had half a mind to become a psychiatrist. That’s all you need you know?
CO of the Grombooliland Mounted Rifles told me he once had a trick cyclist assigned to the regiment. Decided he should introduce him to the men gently so had him start with the padre. Poor fellow was calling to be carted away by the men in white coats within the hour; the head doctor fellow that is, not the padre.
Apparently as the padded wagon crossed the pass they could still hear him screaming about pointy sticks and goats’ heads. No one ever found out why.
I met the padre a few months ago – nice chap. Does a good funeral.
I used to work for Col Mitchell…and he passed away in 1996, so you ain’t he.
You miss the point, the main point, indeed the only point – there is only one issue – everyone hates Brown with a vengence. He is the festering centre of all that is wrong in this benighted isle.
Everything else is just a vehicle with which to express the venom we have for the retarded son of the foul manse.
I notice you’re not commenting about Brown/Everton.
Exactly my point,dear…I notice that your posts up to this point have been nothing to do with Everton either…rather more of a rabid nature.
Anon,…..135 ……If you’re referring to my comments, you are wrong. I have mentioned Everton at least twice. Once asking who the hell they were, and the second time mentioning the colour of Everton toffees/humbugs. My comment 84 was in answer to comment 17.
Since you dangled the carrot Guido – check out the logo of Everton.
The tower is called a Migdol Tower. Migdol is aka Magdalene or MADELINE. Remember that picture of Madeline McCann that’s been around the world hundreds of times wearing the Everton shirt – MM (M=13 therefore MM = 13 + 13 or 11/33) also – Everton date ‘1878′ which with numerical manipulation can read ‘888′ which is apparently the number of Christ…..
“it’s a big club and you ain’t in it”….
Just sayin’
http://www.anorak.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/_46583161_-7.jpg
If you type Gordon brown into babel fish and turn into Mongolian and then type that backwards it comes out as Financial misconduct = Brownfool.
Now that is Sukyspooky.
I don’t think anyone need use Babelfish or Mongolian to know just ‘who’ and ‘what’ Gordon Brown is and just what he’s guilty of Bill!
However, Madeleine in the Everton shirt and the Migdol Tower is sumptin else imo…just a coinkydink I guess most would say.. That’s why I’m called ’spooky’ lol.
Actually, I’m called ’sukyspook’ because I used to perv over my brother’s friends in the early 70’s and it’s what one of them nicknamed me!!
Are you a boy?
“Are you a boy?”
I’m a lady dontcherknow!! – however, I guess in these times it’s ok for boys to perve their brother’s friends…now in the 70’s. . .
I’ve never spoken to a real woman before.
how are you.
Suky, my greatgrandparents were worshipping at Goodison before the B’Bergs,C. Purpose or NWO had ever been considered. Your starting to sound a little odd now. Sorry but maybe time to trust the nice doctor hey!!
Love Dixie ;-)
My grandad (rip) was a lifelong Everton supporter too. At the OAP club in Walton Vale he had a collection box for the ‘turns’ which he made and painted in his beloved Everton colours…..awww.
I don’t need a doctor thanks Dixie – I’m doing just fine observing the global ’show’ as bizarre and like the overnight news, downright awful as it often is.
Migdol Tower = Write d gloom
And the motto means ‘Nothing but the best is good enough’, which by an amazing coincidence is the official motto of this blog.
Why, that’s the motto of the House of Commons too.
Super Sukyspookie
Bi boy – whilst I might be a woman, I never said I was a real one (arf arf).
Do tell us, what is a real woman? Still confused about Everton toffees.
http://www.sweetgreetingsshildon.co.uk/images/uploads/bolied/everton-mints.JPG
Can’t help you on the ‘real woman’. Google-imaged it but it was mainly porn.
I understand now about Everton toffees, but think I really should find out if I’m real.
The number of Christ is 777.
Do I have to put +44 before that or is it direct dial?
Like cricket – I no nooooothing!
Yeah, with all the criticism aimed at Cameron remember it was BROWN who ratted on his mainfesto pledge.
Oddly enough quickly forgotten by some. It was Brown that gave the country away and THE LABOUR PARTY. That should be engraved on every message.
The blame shall also lay partly with all those that voted for Labour at the last election. No doubt a few on here that are shouting for Ukip are among them but lifes full of little ironies I suppose.
Can’t agree more. Too much frothing of the mouth about the tories admitting they can’t hold a referendum into something that has been steamrollered into UK law (and of course many other countries who didn’t want it), while they aren’t in government and won’t be for another 6 – 7 months.
I think they both did.
Hilarious ! You just know Everton are going to lose tonight.
Out of interest, did he also “bless” Liverpool with his luck last night. Or maybe he switched on his telly with 1 minute remaining ?
Most interesting though is his comment >>
“I want to see all British teams do well when they are playing against European opposition,” said Mr Brown.”
Didn’t say that when signing our country away to the EU did he ?
Can we have a general election before the 1st December ? Please ?
On the up-side Rangers found out just how could they are.
Invite McDoom to Old Trafford ASAP.
I wonder if the Everton supporters will greet Brown with cat calls similar to those heard at Wembley with Frau Merkel, or in the same style as the Normandy Veterans at Obama Beach.
Will it be broadcast if he does receive a negative reception.
Of course it will be broadcast….just as soon as the sound track has been “rectified” with sounds of cheering, applause and adoration.
For the Rugby World Cup final in 2007 I was in a crowded pub in London. Next to me were a Scot and a Welshman who, pre-match, said they were doing the usual Celtic thing of supporting whoever England were playing. Laughs all round – gentle piss-take. Gordon Brown appears on the screen. 400 Londoners scream the most vitriolic, violent abuse you would ever hear from rugby fans. A (plastic) beer glass was thrown at the screen. It was pretty intense. The Scot and the Welshman were visibly shocked that Brown was so hated in England. They never said another word during the entire match.
strolling pics………….
http://ageofkali.blogspot.com/2009/11/stroll-in-smoke.html
Awwww thanks for the link/pics MMason – I sooooo wish I could have been there – it looks like a grand turnout! Well done OH and pals.
Lets pray to god that he has never said anything good about the U.K as a whole… Oh wiat he probbaly has U.K PLC is F@#K
http://newslion.blogspot.com/
Keep David Haye away from Gorgon! Not even near a phone to take a “please let me associate with potential success” desperate call from mcbust.
Haye aint got a chance anyway. The Russian will eat him alive.
No idea really! One thing I do know is that if Haye wins you can guarantee that Gorgon and his advisers will be in overdrive trying to set up a photo-op and have him there to meet haye as he gets off the plane etc.
Doubt we’ll ever see McCretin, blair or cast-iron dave there to see the return of dead soldier’s from the wars they start. hoons the lot of them.
Like guidos Hoon gizmo I am finding when I try to say the PMs name Cu*t comes out.
Br…Cu*t……BrrrrCu*t…..Gordon fishlips cocksmoking CU*T.
sorry I can’t do it.
Perhaps Gormless Gordon would like to wish good luck also to a EU team:
like….
Bayern
or maybe
Real Madrid
or maybe
Barcelona
or maybe
Milan
or maybe
Porto ?
We have a British secret weapon more potent than the German Focker:
The British Focker
‘Messyshit’ according to his wife.
That, in itself, does not make him a bad person…
Right then,that’s the fucking last straw from that Hoon,Gordon Brown.
I’m a lifelong Everton FC supporter and now intend to throw my hat into the leadership contest.
Everton will will 2-1 tonight,by the way.
Fuck off you Labour twat.
I’m terribly sorry,I didn’t realise I had posted on the conservativehome site.
Grow up Four eyes and make yourself a mug of tea
fuck off Burnham, isn’t it past your bedtime and don’t forget to take off your make-up before you kiss Billy Boy Kenwright goodnite!!
In your dreams and god help the NHS.
Andy how much mascara do you use sweetie? your eyelashes look super duper everytime you come onto the tv.
He probably uses – Extra Volume Glamour ULTRA BLACK by Bourjois Paris. ‘Cos it’s extra long lasting, enriched with intense black mineral pigments, and he’s WORTH it!
Blue eyeshadow tonight then Burnham? Some of Lady Scummangle’s lippy?
Boa sorte Benfica!
O/T
Just had that complete a****ole Tom Watson on our local TV News complaining that bangers should be made quieter.
The lady of the manor (normally a very placid person) has just observed that they should be made as loud as possible and placed in large quantities under the HOC – preferably with – as she put it ” All the b***gers in it
Clearly a lady of intelligence and breeding.
Toast that lady with your finest champagne.
Pa? Is that you?
How charming, the Prime Minister supports Everton, poor things, there goes their dream, they will suffer Brown’s “curse” I’m sure.
Aye that is right, I said all British teams because you English scum dogs do not exist any more all thanks to me the descendant of Robert The Bruce.
The EUSSR will live for a thousand years!
Hitler’s Thousand Year Reich aka the revived Holy Roman Empire (Hitler was also one of ‘theirs’)………in reality – it’ll never happen – it might look like a ‘goer’ on paper – but we have to make sure it is NOT enacted by us.
Let’s just try saying ‘N O’ at every opportunity and see what happens. We could also switch off our TV’s for a fortnight – that’ll put the b’Jeezus up ‘em…. No access to our minds and no feedback for ‘them’ to guage our next move. Simples!
The Internet is the new confession box (as I’ve mentioned too often).
The Irish tried saying “No” … and now they’re shiny happy EU citizens.
wrong. the EU thieving mafia won’t last five minutes. the products of shoddy materials and shoddy workmanship never last long.
we turfed out the romans anti citizen one.
compared to that occupation the ejection of the EU occupiers will be a walk in the park.
I think we will even be able to make quite a game of it.
this will be fun.
I wish I had your faith and optimism, tat. And a copy of your profanisaurus.
Wen FIFA explain that Europe will have only 1 team in the World Cup, EUSSR will be dead in it’s tracks
O/T I tink I have just watched my last QT
I too watched QT – it was awful – Peter Hain – well, what can one say???
Check out Brian Gerrish from the BC Group Conference from last Saturday 31st Oct for the ‘bigger picture’. I won’t post a link as they’re getting modded at the mo….they’re on youtube already though. I’m waiting for Christopher Story’s talk – not sure about him… He says all the right things then says something at 180degrees…
Feck me – my comments just been modded again!
Thing is, as reviled as they are, I’d sooner trust a scouse estate agent smack addict who hasn’t had a fix for a week before anyone connected with new liebour.
Well – see what you’re getting at, but – a SCOUSE estate agent smack addict who hasn’t had a fix for a week????
wondered what had happened to derek hatton…
Ahhhh….Degsy, such style. The golden era of politics.
Hatton went out and bought a BMW as soon as he could.
I thought it was an XJS – reggo DEG51Y.
You see, I’m in his fan club.
An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser are in a bar.
They’re staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner.
He’s so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad.
They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: ‘My God, it’s Jesus!’
Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint.
Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter.
Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another.
After he’s finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.
He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness.
When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: ‘My God! The arthritis I’ve had for 30 years is gone. It’s a miracle!’
Jesus then shakes the Aussie’s hand, thanking him for the lager.
As he lets go, the man’s eyes widen in shock.
‘Strewth mate, the bad back I’ve had all my life is completely gone! It’s A Miracle.’
Jesus then approaches the Scouser who says,
‘Back off, mate, I’m on disability benefit.
Thats funny, but nowhere near as funny as the European city of culture 2008. Very mysterious how that happened – clearly not on merit. Its almost as if someone with the power to pull the necessary strings got knobbled by someone close to them with a personal reason for doing it – like they hailed from that lovely place for instance, and asked hubby for a favour.
Sixty million United Kingdom citizens want me to stay PM while only a paltry seventy thousand tories oppose me.
I have been on cloud nine ever since the news was broken to me, I have even told Sarah to rush down to Ann Summers and buy something nice to wear for later on tonight to celebrate.
Yours Faithfully
Gordon Brown PM
But darling, – I haven’t told you yet – I’m going to take over from you as PM – in Millisquit’s old seat.
And we’re planning a final ‘triumphal’ tour – just like we did for Tony – so that people can say how sorry they are to see you leave.
Now just sit there and I’ll call Nurse to settle you.
Would you like to play with your toy money machine for a while?
can i run in the garden, shooting things with my finger guns at things again before dinner mandy?
pow pow die mr cameron, pow pow die mr owl in the tree pow pow
Shut the fuck up and take your medicine you nail-biting one eyed slack-jawed loser!
78 – Sorry, slight textual problem there: message should read:
Sixty million United Kingdom citizens want me to stay on PMT while only a paltry seventy thousand tories oppose me.
I have been on cloud nine ever since the wind was broken by me, I have even told Sarah to rush down to Ann Summers and buy something nice for me to wear for later on tonight to celebrate.
Yours Faithfully
Gordon Brown PM
May I make a suggestion an off the peg suicide corset,made in america,that’s set to go off when you get within 5 feet.
Who’s being put on the bonfire tonight? Looking forward to seeing pics of the gorgon, the bastard Blair, Mandelscum, et al having a good roasted.
Don’t know about you Contessa but this is the quietest bonfire night EVER for fireworks. We’ve usually heard bangers being thrown for a month before the night – and ‘the night’ is usually alive with the sounds of WW2 but not tonight.
I bet the sheople are all scared of creating too much CO2….sigh.
I too would love to see the traitors atop a bonfire – effigies, of course (not!).
I say we sling that useless lying thief david cameron on the bonfire.
what else is he good for, eh, barefootcontessa?
fuck all.
innit.
he has had two years to knock brown out and yet he has not laid a glove on gordon brown the JONAH.
we are all agreed that gordon brown is a useless untrustworthy self serving c’unt and yet and yet david cameron has been unable to land a single blow on the autistic fucking retard gordon brown the torturer in chief of the new labour war and torture and occupation party. so many targets and cameron missed them all; very, very strange, wouldn’t you agree bfc?
the only conclusion I am able to arrive at regarding this incredible state of affairs is that we have all been watching a a fixed bout and that david cameron threw the fight against gordon brown. the only other conclusion to draw is ofcourse that david cameron is just a totally useless c’unt, evidently more useless even than gordon brown who is a JONA. so that makes dave cameron SUB-JONAH FFS!
they are a pair of lying thieving c’unts. brown and cameron are as thick as thieves.
your party better get a new leader barefootcontessa: this one’s fucked.
trust me, I know these things. I’m a political genius.
Kairm down, kairm down!
Please tat,….not my party. I really want to get rid of the bastards we’ve got at the moment.
how many times must I say this?
there is more chance of gordon brown rimming george clooney’s arsehole and then fucking him all night long with a strap on cock than there is of brown winning the next election.
david cameron is also a useless c’unt has also been exposed as a liar and a thief.
vote independent barefootcontessa. your country is counting on you.
do the right thing for democracy, eh?
You are so wise Mr Thick….
Ok ok ok ok. Got the message, don’t have to nag!
Everton don’t need the Curse of McBroon to be crap, they already were!
‘Sright: just Toffee!
oh nooooooooooooooo
this cannot be happening
they’re bad enough without him
ohhhhhh ffffuuuuuccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Anyone want to buy some hubcaps? Like!
that’s new, fucker
We got your videos,
TVs and Radios,
kairm down! kairm down!
sign on, sign on, with hope in your heart
cos you’ll ne-ver get a jobbbbb
Everybody knows the reason scousers are fat is that fruit and vegetables are much heavier than crisps and chocolate and are therefore harder to steal.
it was self defence, honest like!
very true very true
O/T.
Another announcement by the MOD(Ministry of Death) of a brave soldier killed in the Afghan shite hole.
Just what the hell we are doing there is beyond me,this fucking bullshit of protecting us from terrorists is wearing a bit thin,the bloody terrorists are walking our streets.
Teflon Bliar and McMental have a lot to answer for in this Bush,s poodle politics game,it is sickening seeing most weeks the fucking politico,s going through the ritual of reading the names in parliament.
They put such stock on our brave soldiers that they appoint that fool Aintworthatoss as Defence Minister.
We should be pulling our troops out right now and tell the Yanks to get stuffed and carry on with their 2nd Vietnam because this escapade cant be won ask the Russians.
Finally my sincere condolences to all the families and friends who have lost loved ones.they didn,t deserve this for the sake of political nomarks.
I see gordon is in the news tonight , ahead of his “big speech on afghanistan tomorrow”, repeating all of his much repeated soundbites about being in Afghanistan to ‘keep the terrorists off our streets’ and ‘pursuing a policy of afghanisation’ (rubbish word!) by training afghans in the police and the army. Well hasn’t that lofty aim just tragically come to grief!!!!
I bought a poppy today. I used to do it as a remembrance for members of my family who died in WW1 and WW2. Today, as I bought it, I was thinking of young men, who should be here, now, living life, clubbing, laughing, doing all the foolish, fun things that young men do.
The old veteran of WW2 that sold me that poppy, had tears in his eyes as he said ‘we have to bring them home.’ Public opinion is turning – Big Time. Gordon is not listening but cameron had better be! Otherwise his government will only last one term.
At least gordon hasn’t also started to spout paddyashdown’s rubbish about ‘if we leave afghanistan p+++kistan will go the same way’.
What nonsense!!!. If that was true why didn’t p+++kistan come under alqeda and taliban control when alqeda and the taliban did control afghanistan in 2000/2001??
What lies these politicians keep spewing out in order to justify an unjustifiable war.
Erm because it is true, once the taliban get back into power in Afghanistan, they will send everyone to Pakistan while acting as a funnel and hideout for every rag head on the planet who decides to join the jihad.
Once the taliban get back into Afghanistan, guess which mugs will have to take half of the population in as immigrants nelly? when the taliban start to round up the ‘westernised’ apostates and ‘corrupt’ who stand in their way in the holy war.
Hope you’ve got room in your house to store three or four afghan families nelly, hope you’ve got enough to feed them with.
Once they have consolidated that block, Saudi and Egypt will be next until the whole of the middle east falls under extremist control, while Iran makes it’s nukes to take care of Israel.
Then guess who’s next on the list………..
With Jihadi warriors already in our midst in ever increasing numbers it will not be too hard or long before we fall either.
You keep looking at this situation as if the enemy is in one country like Nazi Germany nelly, hate to break it to you, but the enemy happens to be one of the fastest growing groups in the world and resides in every country.
Erm because it is true, once the taliban get back into power in Afghanistan, they will send everyone to P-stan while acting as a funnel and hideout for every rag head on the planet who decides to join the jihad.
Once the taliban get back into Afghanistan, guess which mugs will have to take half of the population in as immigrants nelly? when the taliban start to round up the ‘westernised’ apostates and ‘corrupt’ who stand in their way in the holy war.
Hope you’ve got room in your house to store three or four afghan families nelly, hope you’ve got enough to feed them with.
Once they have consolidated that block, Saudi and Egypt will be next until the whole of the middle east falls under extremist control, while Iran makes it’s nukes to take care of Israel.
Then guess who’s next on the list………..
With Jihadi warriors already in our midst in ever increasing numbers it will not be too hard or long before we fall either.
You keep looking at this situation as if the enemy is in one country like Nazi Germany nelly, hate to break it to you, but the enemy happens to be one of the fastest growing groups in the world and resides in every country.
Also don’t kid yourself that they will stop if we do pull out of Afghanistan.
It didn’t stop them plotting and blowing things up before 9/11 and will not stop them long after.
The only reason they got so enraged is because the infidel dared to show the temerity to stand up to the great ‘holy’ warriors instead of sitting back and doing nothing as usual or running away like cowards sans early 1990’s.
Letting them continue their little bloodless invasions and undermining of our systems chip by chip while making excuses for them and blaming ourselves was meant to be the script we all stuck too.
It is all their in the Quran, convert them by any underhand tactics neccesary, lie to them it does not matter or by the sword.
Dont be such a pessimist,it cannot be too far off the day all these jackass jihadists realise that the reason all those imams back home in the wahabbi theocracy urge them abroad to fight the infidel is because all those crown princes are scared shitless of a revolution (many prominent labour politco`s are scrambling to find investment oppo`s for “the freedom fund” and “the kingdom fund”)
Watch where the big investors in our Bruined Banks come from ,we were spun some dung how some lady banker had her finger on the pulse of the middle east and was able to secure billions for barclays,its just oil money thats too insecure to keep at home because in this day of the internet it wont be long before even the most illiterate camel-shagger works out that the Sheik is a bigger crook than the guy on eastenders!
well what the fuck else have we got left to look forward to?
What do you mean BACK in power ?
They are in power. Karzia’s not called the mayor of Kabul for nothing.
A corrupt fraudulent mayor, but mayor none the less.
And you haven’t ben keeping up on current events if you think P-Stan hasn’t been a haven for terrorists for decades. The difference now is Taliban factions the P-Stan ISI were funding and training have now turned on thier former masters.
There are already asylum seekers from Afghanistan who have trying to get into the UK for 8 Years. The numbers would rise as much as the Iraq asylum seekers did and we aren’t hearing alot about them these days are we ? Ask nell how many Iraqi’s she has in her house ?
“Once they have consolidated that block, Saudi and Egypt will be next until the whole of the middle east falls under extremist control”
Are we back to this domino theory nonsense already ?
It’s like the greatest idiotic hits of Vietnam all over again.
Do you even know who Afghanistans current backer and main trade partner is and why there is always such trouble between Afghanistan and P-Stan ?
India.
When in power the Taliban were backed by P-Stan which is why the Taliban were trained armed and funded by the P-Stan ISI.
Saudi Arabia were also Taliban supporters and if you think the current Saudi regime isn’t pretty extremist then you have a strange idea of democracy and what the Wahabi schools get up to.
“while Iran makes it’s nukes to take care of Israel.”
weapons of mass destruction you mean ?
The one clear winner in the Iraq War was Iran who now have a proxy state in Shia Iraq with huge influence over the surrounding area. They don’t need to launch a war of conquest because the US and Britain did it all for them by removing the Sunni Bathists from the power structure.
But keep cheering on a quagmire if that’s what get’s you off
Afghanistan is over and there will be a leave date set by either Cameron or Brown before very long just like Iraq.
These idiots think terrorists are incapable of moving around and don’t already have free reign in Somalia most of north Africa, Indonesia etc.
They also believe that terrorists actually need a vast mountainous country to plan an attack when a hotel room in Germany was all that was needed for 9/11.
Good point about P-Stan nell.
The problems with P-Stan include a power vacuum created by the inherited the detritus of a military-led state, the death of Bhutto and a weak coalition Government. Not just extremists they already had.
The P-Stan ISI and Army are at least belatedly cutting themselves off from those extremists factions friendly with the Taliban they had supported, armed and trained.
That proud young boy shown on the news tonight really should bring it home to our Leaders, only 18
Hey leave Andypandy Burnham alone,remember what he said a while ago when he became Health Minister.
He was talking about priorities and said the NHS was his No1 priority and then added of course after Everton.
Ass hole Cameron, you killed referendum. Big mistake! This has altered the future. Terminator cyborg will come to “re-programme” you.
Then you will be taken back in time and you will agree to referendum. Equilibrium restored in time continuum, frenchies and germans noses out of joint. The bogey eating socialist leader person chewing nails to a stump. Everyone happy. I’ll be baaack.
oh I say!
Hey
this is a great site and it’s good for me to be here this evening. I’m sitting here in the main stand of this wonderful old ground at Goodison in the delightful company of the Prime Minister, Gordon Brown. He’s going to come and see one of my shows in London’s West End shortly. It’s a newwie, so watch out for it, it’s called BlueBoyBillie loves to suck up to the labour party. It’s going to be great just like our Gordon has been for this wonderful country of ours. I love David Moyes even though he’s fucking crap at his job and I’m going to sack hom once we move to that wonderful connerbation that is Kirkby soon – see, it’s not just Gordon that’s fuckin mental!!!!!
Love ya
the opening of the olympics should be a right laugh then the involvement him and his cronies have had in it! Just think the EU President will be loving it.
It would be like a day at the seaside to see Tessa Turkeyneck frogmarched from the Digs box at the opening.
OT- And Good News too!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8345501.stm
Climate deal ‘unlikely’ this year
In other news a tax on Fishermans sails to stop tidal change is postponed.
Brown will be disgusted. An opportunity to sign something further tying our industry (or what’s left of it) in fucking knots trying to meet the demands of the Global Warming Cult. Gone.
I look forward to Dave taking up the baton
Looks as if Brown has brought the shite weather with him.
Bravo – I’m dripping wet now!
I hope Yvette and ed enjoy their last days troughing – This failed labour government is thankfully coming to an end.
This time, next year, labour are going to be history.
This time next year, when I watch the fireworks, I shall say Thank God.
Labour have gone!
Maybe Brown could capitalise on his anti-Midas gift when someone finds the balls to trebuchet him out of number 10. He could be a valuable secret weapon in the worlds of sport, commerce…
i think Brown would be a useful addition to the concrete industry
too late for the flyovers on the M1 innit
He said the other day that he doesn’t have much money . How sad!!
He said when he has finished being our PM he thinks he will do something for charity!!
I can’t even imagine which charity would want him!!!!
That must be why he’s spending ours, Nell.
Yeah, he’ll work for common purpose, the dark bastard.
If only he had £30 Million?
Its an interesting theory that a reverse midas touch may have benefits although in the ruins case , he could touch a turd only for it to turn into a “singularity” and the whole earth dissappear , with a jonah effect so strong its too risky to experiment
well good evening evryone from a chilly Goodison Park. I’ve had to put my heavy jacket on tonight. Not a great game up to now but Eusebio is in the ground to watch his beloved Benfica. When I spoke to him earlier I asked what he thought of Gordon Brown. He replied, who’s he, the cartoon in Snoopy?? Well , I smiled the started the commentry again. OHHHHH, nearly a corner for this pretty dour Everton team, crippled by David Moyes and Bill Kenwright…………Nil Nil
You see the difference between a good team and a merely average side is that a good team or a great team if you like will see an opportunity and grasssssp it.
Carlton. Carlton! CARLTON! Can we not knock it?
Piss off Guido, I don’t follow football, so why expect normal people to pitch here!
Oooops – just did…
QT panel: Welsh Secretary Peter Hain MP, the shadow environment secretary Nick Herbert MP, the former Metropolitan Police commissioner Sir Ian Blair, the former MEP and broadcaster Robert Kilroy-Silk and the comedian Natalie Haynes.
Kilroy-Silk. Adjust the contrast on your TVs to tone down the orange tan.
What a pointless QT. No one will be able to ask a question for laughing at the Orange one for being kicked out of the “party” he set up himself after being kicked out of one almost as laughable.
i thought hain was orange ?
There’s Hain orange, and then there’s Kilroy-Silk. And beyond that that bloke who does that ‘antiques for the masses’ prog, whose name escapes me. Oh and that camp one who did the supermarket trolley thing.
Never let it be said Veritas don’t have their finger on the pulse. Why, the front page of their website has bang up to the minute news as it occurred on April 8, 2009, a few mere months before the Telegraph exposed the unbelievable levels of corruption through every fibre of Westminster:
http://www.veritasparty.co.uk/
no limp dum?
I’m off to the bookies to put £1,000 on Jedward winning X-Factor.
Bruin says they are “not very good” – consequently, they will now win.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8345696.stm
No point.
“Mr Brown has declared himself a “fan” of X-Factor.”
After this declaration they will get no viewers on Saturday, the company making it will go bankrupt and Cowell will be sectioned.
Does anyone know if he also wished Fulham well this evening ? They lost !
got your tin hat at the ready?
better put it on then and get yourself to the front line.
no? you don’t want to go?
well shut the fuck up then you spineless c’unt.
spazzzzstic said: “It didn’t stop them plotting and blowing things up before 9/11 and will not stop them long after.”
er, as I understand it 14 saudi arabians were in the group of terrorists who carried out the terrorist attacks on 9/11. not one of the group was an Afghan.
so what the fuck are we doing in Afghanistan then?
surely we should have invaded saudi arabia, the country that is generating and harbouring the alqaeda terrorists.
the americans went into Afghanistan as a sop to the american people, as revenge. they did not invade saudi arabia because the bush family are friends with the bin ladens.
no afghan ever attacked an american before the american army invaded and occupied Afghanistan. that is a fact.
we have been drawn into a false and pointless conflict.
we have been drawn into one of america’s dirty wars.
it is time to withdraw our troops from this mess.
there is no victory to be found in Afghanistan.
TaT your forgetting multi millionaire osam bin laden was saudi , bound to able to rustle up some nutters from home
Tops tat.
isnt another life long everton fan Andy burnahm ! ruin is on location with Andy , would you want consolating by the ruin after he had caused it ???
Ruin definietly had touched two of my fireworks tonight , my wheel of fire , rotated slowly twice them stopped and burned and melted the centre .dam those spining thingys !!
merv and fed imply low interest rates , merv also announced we may be in for some infaltion gulp .£25bn more QE so darlings busted his lending figs then ? 14%of GDP not 12%
CW enjoyed one show Tony robinsons explantion of the debt situation was exemplery “its not so bad and these things can be repaid over time” he was also wrong that it is not as big as some countries , but cannily missed the important words as a %of GDP and how it will impact future government spending .
Any more cunning plans, Baldrick?
wheres the bishop of bath and wells when you need him !
What about a game of footie against the Taleban?
“Ahmeds coming up the inside , Mohammed is looking for a cross( probably to crucify somebody)
Mohammed shoots (his RPG) into the back of the net
They thought it was all over
It is now
makes the ref blame situation interesting at hooker and tea events
Get yer face out, get yer face out, get yer face out for the lads…..!
I was just told by someone I know who works for the civil service that the treasury has given them a 3.25% pay rise + bonus of about 8% of annual wage subject to union approval.
What a slap in the face to private sector!
..all that ballet in the evenings…
I find that hard to believe. Unless it’s a ten year deal. Or a very teeeny, tiny outpost of civil service-dom.
Either that or it is the final acknowledgement that rampant inflation and money-printing is the prefferred get-out-of-jail.
Look Gordon needs the public sector vote – after all they are the 27% of the electorate who keep saying they’ll vote Labour
No, Snotty just realised that all the money he printed so far has been used by the shit-face bankers to buy Aussie dollars. They are probably on a beach in Queensland as we speak, telling each other how clever they are
So he’s going to try wacking some quantitative easing into public sector pay, hoping the beneficiaries spend the money in Britain
0-1 Benfica.
Cheers, Snotty.
What about a game of footie against the Taleban?
“Ahmeds coming up the inside , Mohammed is looking for a cross( probably to crucify somebody)
Mohammed shoots (his RPG) into the back of the net
They thought it was all over
It is now
The curse is on target….
1-0 to Benfica … so far.
Brilliant. I’m going to hire him to back whoever plays Port Vale.
with you on that one !
You can take the girl out of Stoke, but you can’t take Stoke out of the girl. And I always went for the underdog.
Oi!
curse not up to its’ usual power, David Moyes must be due to spontaneously combust any second
No. His eyes are always bulging out like that. He reminds me of one of those kids toys you get – you squeeze ‘em and a great big gllop-filled ballon pops out of a tiny hole. That’s Dave Moyes eyes that is.
Might be a chance to make some money on the reverse Jonah phenomenon…
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8345696.stm
If Gordon says they’re no good then they should walk it.
Either way they’ll get more votes than Gordon did and some enterprising chap from The Sun should be able to get a few choice quotes from the boys along the lines of ‘If he thinks we’re no good at singing he should hear what we have to say about him as PM….’
Having never watched ‘X-Factor’ I have to say I couldn’t give a shit. But maybe I’m missing something, who knows?
Never watched it either but it’s on the BBC website and it struck me as a new test of the malevolent power of Brown.
Sure, everything he touches turns to shit – but what if everything he disses comes good? It makes sense. Kind of.
Call me old-fashioned, but I liked it when music was about the music.
From the beeb >> http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/8345329.stm
Benfica goal: The Portuguese giants break with pace, and there looks trouble right away. Angel di Maria plays a lovely one-two with Javier Saviola and then feeds the Argentine on the edge of the Everton box. He gets a bit lucky as the ball runs away from him but bounces neatly back into his path off Di Maria, and Saviola whacks it into the bottom left-hand corner or Tim Howard’s net.
2124: GOAL Everton 0-1 Benfica
The curse strikes on time !
0-2.
Definitely time to invest in the reverse Jonah before the odds shorten.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8345696.stm
John and Edward Grimes to win X-Factor. Nailed on.
What sort of football fan wishes Man U well?
Its the sort of thing my wife might say.
Everton losing 2-0 to Benfica as we speak with not a lot of time to go.
Jonah Jynxit Gordo strikes again !
it might be that it’s not gordie after all – david moyes is a terribly dour boring manager and plays 4-5-1 at home even when beaten 5-0 last match – what a wanker
Everton (managed by crap scot moyes) NIL Benfica (Eusebio of the marvellous dribble) TWO
Johnny Todd he took a notion
For to cross the ocean wide.
There he left his true love a-weeping
Waiting by the Liverpool tide.
For a week she wept full sorely,
Tore her hair and wrung her hands
Till she met with another sailor
Walking on the Liverpool sands.
O fair maid why are you weeping
For your Johnny gone to sea?
If you’ll wed with me tomorrow
I will kind and constant be.
I will buy you sheets and blankets,
I’ll buy you a wedding ring.
You shall have a gilded cradle
For to rock you baby in.
Johnny Todd came home from sailing,
Far across the ocean wide,
There he found that his fair and false one
Was another sailor’s bride.
So, all you lads who go a-sailing
For to fight the foreign foe.
Never leave your true love like Johnny,
Marry her before you go!
Hello Stan Kelly
Everton 0-2 Benefica
I just won £55.Thanks Gordon
Toffees caramelised by Brown, stuck in treacle!
At the time of writing, Everton are 2-0 down.
Doubtless some Labour spin doctor type twat could find some sort of positive in this.
Still, it will be good practice for Newsnight next May….
ahahaha
Full time….The Toffees go down 2-0.
Thanks a bunch Gordon!
Good job I support Liverpool!
Then again….
Lyon, nuff said
surely we can take away at least one positive from this match – it was only 2-0. However, the lessons will be learnt and it will be the right thing to do.
The PM said he was hoping for a home win at Goodison. “I want to see all British teams do well when they are playing against European opposition,” said Mr Brown. “Everton of course play tonight. I hope they do well in the Europa League and I hope they get through this stage of the competition.”
Celtic draw.
Fulham lose
Everton losing.
Nice work Gordo..
Wishing Everton well won’t go down with the ‘My dad voted Labour’ dolie Liverpool fans.
well thats Toffees stuck then.
How long can the curse run?
said it once and i’ll say it again and again as it probably isnt getting through, BUT please, please, please boycott any goods and services of any SME, corporation, bank or corner shop who dare employ any of this nuliebour scum when out of office. Please lets make them feel that the rest of the ‘little people’. With sincere thanks. MT.
2 nil! cyclops strikes again!
The Bruin jinx has really fixed it for English and Diaspera-Scottish teams:
Fulham stuffed
Everton stuffed
Celtic drawn
————————————
Total point on offer 9
Total points salvaged 1
————————————
Percentage of point gained so far tonite: 11.1%
Don’t worry I have arranged for 50 billion extra points to be allocated to these teams.
I say British points for British teams.
Did somebody say pints for British teams?
Did somebody say pints for British teams?
Why buy shares when you can just bet against McMental
the mans a fucking God send
Toffees are sucked, as predicted. 0-2. The G-curse works as per usual.
OT
Gordon Brown no good say X-factor twins…
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8345696.stm
interesting curseing the johnah before he makes judgement ! may ward off effect but i doubt it .
Get your money on em then!
and lo, it came to pass that after the prophet had spake the team was cursed!
It was your Meester McMental that won it for us
The Bruin Jinx is really potent tonite:
Fulham stuffed shitless 2:1
Everton stuffed shitless 2:0
Celtic could only draw 0:0
Total point on offer: 9
Total Goals: 1
Total Goals conceded: 4
Total points salvaged : 1
Percentage on Nite: 11.1%
Performance rating : Piss Poor
Gordon’s rating: Piss Poor
Final Observation:
If Gordon mentions England and South Africa 2010 in the same sentence…….
just had a scary thought what if johna wishes cameron all the best and looks forward to him winning the next general election , next may .
Luckily Gordon doesn’t believe he is cursed, so he never thinks to do that.
But others have noticed that the closer you sit to Brown the more likely to fail you become. Notice Jack Straw sitting at the end of the row at PMQ’s. Balls and Harman would love to get further away but the necessity of a female face and solid support keeps them close to him. That’s partly why they are so unbelievably awful at every thing they do.
Everton 0-2 Benfica
The cast iron guarantee of Jonah never fails to disappoint.
Apparently Brown also said that John and Edward (X Factor) weren’t very good and he didn’t think they’d win, and that the others were all really good.
So, that means an easy win for “Jedward” then.
Nice to see that our PM is spending all his time dealing with such important matters as football and the X factor.
It’s my way of showing how in touch I am with hard-working families.
I feel Everton fans’ pain……
Don’t diss me, man.
Is it ‘cos I is a fuckwit?
“The online demand for Mr Brown to stand down was tabled by Kalvis Jansons and had attracted 72,232 signatures by the time it closed on 22 October.
another petition, which closes next May and calls on the PM “not” to go, has attracted 67 signatures so far.”
hmmm, 67 versus 72,232, it’s a close call.
Looks like the 72,232 people are ignored in favour of the 67 morons.
At least the X Factor is democratic.
I think the reason Brown doesn’t like “Jedward” is that he sees that they could potentially win because of a media campaign, and anything which whiffs remotely of people voting for who they want rather than just settling for the status-quo simply pisses him off more than anything else.
Whats the difference between Jedward and Gordon Brown?
At least you get to vote for Jedward
Everton stuffed by Benfica, the curse holds.
Who is going to be the first to start a petition on the No 10 website requesting that Jonah never wishes an English team good luck.
Good idea
Dont give the Hoon ideas
McMental must know of his dark powers
Gordon has had to call off a visit to Fort Hood to wish American troops all the best due to security fears.
IT’S ALIVE!
@Zzzzzzzz
Exactly. Check the BBC News feed to see what’s happened at Fort Hood in Texas.
A large number of US personnel have been shot dead inside the camp.
Is this a mad person, or more jihad on US soil?
no mention of terrorism at all yet
mass shootings are not new on US soil sadly
From the BBC….
The army has named the gunman as Major Malik Nadal Hasan.
Hmmmmm.
This is beginning to sound more like politics than madness
But of course profiling is racist….
Let’s wait and see.
But if I hear something go ‘quack’ it’s usually a duck.
Or a patient who thinks their doctor doesn’t know what they’re doing.
3 Shooters (so lone nutbag gone).
72 Raisin collecting shooter is Major Malik Nadal Hasan, a recent convert to the religion of peace and a DOCTOR!
He’s a also major
(CNN) — Eleven people plus a gunman were dead and 31 wounded after the gunman opened fire Thursday on a soldier-processing center at Fort Hood, Texas, officials said.
The gunman was a soldier, and two other soldiers have been detained as suspects, Army Lt. Gen. Bob Cone said.
The slain gunman was identified as Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, 39, a law enforcement source told CNN. Licensed in Virginia, Hasan was a psychiatrist who previously worked at Walter Reed Army Medical Center but more recently was practicing at Darnall Army Medical Center at Fort Hood, according to professional records.
Ten of the other dead also were soldiers, while the remaining one was a civilian police officer who was working as a contractor on the base, Cone said.
Two of the injured were in “very serious” condition, Fort Hood spokesman Christopher Hogue said.
The two other SUSPECTS have been released and Fox News reports the major had been complaining of harrassment from other army personnel.
Sounds exactly like a postal scenario but that sadly might upset some of those getting excited and aroused because of his funny name.
Being a major just means he’s smart.
What’s known about his mental state? What’s known about his political leanings? Which means, what’s on his computer?
WTF Dumbledore doing Broon’s dirty work for him regarding DC’s ‘Abandoned Pledge’ on the Lisbon Referendumbledore. Harranging Nick Herbert, why don’t they fecking get on to Liebour….Hain, Blair & Broon!!
Attacking Liebour isn’t in the BBC script. Do try to keep up.
just watched QT – packed with more labour than usual – what the fuck is the BBC playing at? it’s almost as if they dont care about any illusion of impartiality anymore
did you know the BBC also packs your high street & towns with NuLiebore plants? that’s why the so called ‘public’ voted for Blair
it’s true! and they also indoctrinate your pets with stalinist BBC Liebore propaganda via the world service and womans hour beamed directly via radio wave into pet shops
your dog or cat is a filthy Liebore supporting Hoon and is actually barking or meowing “Vote Labour” to subliminally influence you
there can be no-other explanation for any criticism of the Tory Party and a failure to give any of it’s spokespeople a 10 minute standing ovation for merely speaking
Excellent astro-turfing – here’s another £6.50 now get back to work.
Yes…when Hain was rambling on about Camerons U turn on the referendum,” can’t be trusted etc”..Dimbleby studiously avoided the obvious question….
What about your manifesto U turn?
Hain is the new Goebbels – lie after lie after lie.
Herbert was fucking useless, completely out of his depth. Unbelievable.
The only one who was any good was the comedian FFS…! (She must be a shit comedian, didn’t come up with the PC crap at all).
And then, of course, there’s the champion of our “vibrant” multi ethnic culture and well known murderer of Brazilians, PC Blair
Yes, the cυnt who thinks he was sacked for being more popular than Boris, rather than for being an incompetent irresponsible PC new labour stooge.
Yup, Herbert looks and sounds like the beneficiary of affirmative action.
lets just nuke them and have done with it. That’ll stop them sending their hairy daughters to bradford.
What Everton?
BROWNS SHITTE AND HE KNOWS HE IS
HE’S SHITTE AND HE KNOWS HE IS
HE’S SHITTE AND HE KNOWS HE IS
HE’S SHITTE AND HE KNOWS HE IS
Sadly the curse of that ‘orrid man has again come to pass…
Public support for Afghan strategy plummets: poll
(AFP)
LONDON — The public is rapidly losing confidence that the war in Afghanistan can be won, after the killing of five soldiers by a rogue Afghan policeman, a new poll showed Thursday.
The YouGov poll found 57 percent of people thought British troops were not winning the conflict against Taliban insurgents, and “victory is not possible,” an increase from 48 percent just two weeks ago.
Thirty-three percent think the war is being won, or that victory is possible eventually.
Consequently, 35 percent want troops withdrawn immediately — compared with 25 percent two weeks ago. Another 38 percent want most troops withdrawn soon and the rest in the next 12 months or so, the poll showed.
Only 20 percent think troops should stay the course, down from 29 percent two weeks ago, the poll for Channel 4 News said.
73% think Troops should be sent home now or within a year
Expect Politicians to adjust their policies accordingly in the months ahead
Hoons
Hoon
Is that the only choice on the ballot paper?
….and Hoonmen. The periodical with the pre-moistened corners.
Watching QT now. When did half of Reading become ethnic? Not a fag paper between the audience or the panel, with the notable exception of Kilroy, on any of the issues. Nauseating viewing!!
its like the audience had been told to remain silent at any point made by the tory and clap wildly as soon as tango hain opened his mouth.
has tango had his teeth whitened too?
Perhaps I’m missing something..but Reading is indeed extremely ethnic.
Just take a stroll down Friar Street sometime..if you dare.
the British public is biased against the Tory Party
look around you the BBC are putting Liebore plants everywhere
your dog is probably a Liebore supporting plant
you have been warned!
Are you still stuck in that old Tory/Labour mentality?
Wake up. It’s you verses them. It’s the gravy train of first class diners,and you with only a platform ticket.
So what are you then, some kind of dopey anarcho-greeny, beeNpe-er, or can you just not be bothered to vote? Either way, you won’t be changing anything.
Ian “Diversity” Blair trying to shut down any criticism of the wonderful multicultural paradise his mate Tony has created.
Yup, just revel in the “vibrancy”.
Hmm. I have never liked Ian Blair but did not realise until watching him on QT just what a slippery non-entity he is. How that mediocre, self-satisfied and smug little man became Met Commissioner must have had more to do with his political credentials and perhaps Common Purpose than anything else.
If he is typical of modern senior police officers God help us all.
yes I was rather troubled as well , when did they turn into lord mayors ??
I turned off after fifteen minutes. I couldn’t stand any more of Kilroy and Tango’s rantings. If UKIP had any brain cells between them they would devote more energy to getting rid of this appalling government.
Nick Herbert looked very robotic and came out with pre-prepared answers that had little to do with the questions. I hope Cameron keeps him on the backbenchers after May.
I gave up 20 mins in. If Dopey Dave had any sense he’d have put a bigger/better hitter in post referendumgate. Herbert rolled over like a baby for the opening slagging-off.
I gave up when Blair started to speak, if a heavy object had been to hand it would of been heading towards the TV, not a good idea and what a waste of a good nokia!
dangerous too – remember Mr De menezez.
The Times reports that MP’s are obstructing the Legg enquiry . . . There’s a surprise. Alan Duncan, who claimed over twelve years for a mortgage that didn’t exist, was cleared of any “wrongdoing” yesterday. Yes, he was cleared. Remember, too, that Duck Island Viggers, Moat Hogg, and Mortgage Morley are eligible for over 64 thousand pounds as they depart Parliament next year.
Still think you are living in a democracy?
And what about the New Labour troughers?
What about the Lib troughers?What about the council troughers?what about the BBC troughers?What about the quango troughers?What about the charity troughers?what about the royal troughers?What about the house of lords troughers?What about the CofE troughers?And many more.
You’re either troughing,or paying for someone else to trough.
I thought we defended well in the first half.
A couple of mistakes cost us the game. We had several chances to win it but the referee kept blowing his whistle all the time and disrupted our flow.
There certainly wasn’t any cursing around here.
It wasnae me
I understand Everton have made a bid for Wayne Rooney.
Or is it Wayne Rooney’s made a bid for Everton?
Administrators say 373 Threshers stores are to close with the loss of 1,738 jobs.
Perhaps they can drink away their sorrows. Labour the scouge of the working class but if only they would know it
Administrators say 373 Thr*shers stores are to close with the loss of 1,738 jobs.
Perhaps they can d*ink away their sorrows. Labour the scouge of the working class but if only they would know it
Modded the last time so again…..
The only way to stop the population drinking.
There must be a good play in this.
I have been writing a play, it is about three gay men where one falls out with the other two buggers and decides to bugger them and everyone else due to his mad depression. There is an element of Gangsterism in it a cabal of dodgy characters, who set out to fleece a country with an economic plan to turn a big country into a small multicultural wasteland.
Your draft memoir’s are ready then,Gordon?
Administrators say 373 Thr*shers stores are to close with the loss of 1,738 jobs.
Perhaps they can d*ink away their sorrows. Labour the scouge of the working class but if only they would know it
Modded the last time so again…..
Reply
If i were a Threshers employee i’d stage a lock in.
yes ! in the immediate area of the italian red section and use the cheap larger for sand bags
Blimey things MUST be bad if the “Offies” are going into administration !!!
Like the pubs, the offies are being taxed into extinction.
apparently it was due to credit insurance issues. Suppliers wanted payment up front. no stock, no business.
The funny thing is there were some interesting sound bites on QT tonight , hains brilliant attack on facism in public broadcasting by er being a facist , kilroy silks moment of madness that transformed into an erudite description of why immigration is a problem , as we didnt vote on it , Nick herberts brilliant defense of cameron Eu position , and sir ian Blair who if i closed my eyes sounded like ken clark on nearly every answer . the lefty comedian /columist was bit champagne borg in a matter of fact sort of way , but we had a little real politk , but lefties at the moment are doing everything to dampen it all down , partly because it shows just how useless there argument is . audience seemed to like eurotopia , ere whats your problem , pottage doled out by labour proganda factory , but after last weeks peak there had to be a slump . the strange absence of the economy was worrying as though people dont really understand what the ruin has created .
Andrew Neil did his job of editing the events , wich some dont like , but then again we dont have that many none patsy political journos , wich the blair era created . CW enjoyed tom contis where did all the money go and reminded him of those sometimes brilliant bird and fortune bits on rory brenmer , where they explain where money goes and why the tax payer had to fund it . quentin letts partys over bit was good (his pre labour party conference one at bornemouth was a classic) , grrrr burn em all who want the EU i say Quentin .
prof heinz wolf nearly made a good question , as CW can think of all too many examples of scientific advice put out by goverment funded scientists that is pro wonk policy formulation , indeed i have avery big bone to knaw indeed on a recent Defra one . But then again isnt it this culture of spin and advisors that has effectively robbed us and made the proles , the cabinet acts dumb as it has advisors , you cant tell who the puppet is . It often feels like some great lavish ventriloquist act whilst our money gets blown .
ruin to make big speech on Afghanistan (so is obama) , Cw will be at the local parade , remembering them and trying to forget , the politicians that have failed them , not so much with equipment , but because they were only politicians who had never done anything else in there life and convinced us that they knew best , when they were mere children who had ever to be pissing themselves with fear at a question and not the next footstep !
I thought the lefty comedian blew her chances of being taken seriously by her ad-hominem attack on Kilroy, by comparing him to the old men in the muppets.
It wasn’t even funny.
And I can’t stand Kilroy.
Yeah, the Lefties never see the irony in their own bigoted sexual and age discrimination (“old men”).
where do you get the idea that cabinet are ‘acting’ dumb?
CON 41%(nc)
LAB 27%(-1)
LD 17%(+1)
You/C4
A UKIP MEP steals £36,000 in expenses.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/8344176.stm
Vote UKIP for swindling and thieving.
“But the former MEP for the East, who was thrown out of the UK Independence Party (UKIP)”
What, you mean thrown out like Smith, McNulty, Conway, Kirkbride et al ..
96 British soldiers killed in Afghanistan since the start of the year….
The country is borrowing £25 million an hour….
Our government surrendering more power over to EU…..
Our streets so violent that man gets kicking to death for asking for a hat back.
Gordon devotes his time to a really weighty and important issue.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8345696.stm
What the difference betwwen McDoom and Jedward?
At least you get to vote for Jedward.
Brown tells Piers Morgan – ” I didn’t know that the AAA-rated subprime
mortgage assets being sold to us and the rest of Europe from America were valueless.And nor should I have been expected to know.”
Mmm “subprime” now what does that mean I wonder ?????
Gordon Live on GMT now pulling an awful stunt trying to list the first names of the 5 dead soldiers, I think he messed it up too.
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Having finally completed my self-appointed (as opposed to elected) task of rewriting ‘Land of Hope and Glory’ which I have now re-titled ‘Boom-Bang-a-Bust’, I will shortly be transferring to the newly-forming EU philharmonic where I will play lead fiddle, ably accompanied by Mr Alastair Darling on second fiddle, a role which he has played for many years.
Other notables already committed to the ensemble include Mr Tony Blair blowing his own trumpet; the miniature Milliband blowing Peter Mandelson’s trumpet and Mandelson himself on bums. Peter Hain will be on double-base – or two-face as we fondly refer – and Bob Ainsworth will be playing with his flute (what else?).
Negotiations for video manager are underway with Jacqui Smith as current favourite – though husband ‘The Dick’ Timney insists he could handle it better.
Candidates for most other positions are currently being considered. As might be expected, there is a plethora of applications from experienced Westmister members who wish to join Alastair and I in the fiddle section (again) and as many more who seek to use their skills in the wind section . Such a wide choice means difficult decisions must be made and, as ever, this is proving to be very difficult for me so any suggestions will be gratefully received – though probably ignored (a la Nutt).
But why don’t we do what we usually do?
Give a ton of cash for one side of the Afghan hordes to fight the other side for possession of the mountains. We don’t care about either side, or the mountains but as long as they are fighting amongst themselves, far away from us, where we have no visible involvement as the cash is all CIA/MI5 special money,they won’t worry about us.
Its only when you put your own forces on the ground that it gets messy, like Vietnam.
Just stay out of it, but fund your choice of warlords.
Trouble is they hate us more than they hate each other.
Er…wasn’t that what they did when the USSR was in Afghanistan? I think a certain Mr Bin-Laden was the recipient of a fair amount of western military aid. I wonder whatever happened to him and his chums?
o/t but this could have serious repercussions
12 US soldiers shot dead, 30+ wounded in Ford Hood, Texas. Alleged Islamic soldier convert involvement unconfirmed
On the other hand, Pakistan is a nuclear power but with an ineffectual military with a bunch of armed, motivated islamistsin its own country and next door in Ag’istan. How long would those nukes remain out of the wrong hands?
well said, sir! you got got all that bang on.
I think Wee Doogie Alexander is the man for the job.
Wee Doogie can fight like fuck.