Comment of the Week
“What’s the difference between Derren Brown and Gordon Brown?
One gets all the numbers right whereas the other…”
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Lord Lamont told ITV News…
“I think the PM is just human and Ed Balls is a pretty irritating person”
…… just spends our money like he’s won the lottery
A new lottery jackpot win every minute of the day!
What’s the difference between Viv Nicholson and Gordon Brown?
Viv spent her own money.
Bloody hell Johnny .. that’s a rave from the grave, I remember her .. she lived in the next village to me, when I was growing up ..
Apologises for Alan Turing’s treatment
Did he go to an NHS hospital?
If he did he has my pity
May I just say one thing.
Can you count?
Mr Fawkes is this going to be a new regular feature now ?
Occasional, though not something that will trouble you.
Mr Fawkes thanks for the clarity and cut those claws lol
like I’ve always said mike; the best thing about your contributions is your name.
it is all downhill from there.
Who’s Derren Brown?
A bloke who cons people as a “magic trick”.
It looks like “mind control” but he’s said its all in behaviour and body language.
A trickster who understands humans, and is quite candid about what he’s actually doing.
So there is no difference, both are conmen and tricksters.
“understands humans”
…and ‘understands people’
Silly git, me – I meant ‘is quite candid…’. Doh!
Dunno.
I wish I could say the same about Gordon.
Heeees on youtube, Confused of Essex. My lad drew my attention to him; he did a trick on the telly the other day where he ‘predicted’ the lotto numbers at just before the same time of the lotto draw on another channel.
He does magic tricks except instead of calling it magic, he calls
it mind control.
Next week an explanation of subliminal thought control bia the TV, opening some common purpose training manuals hopefully, but probably explain only advertising
Unfortunately the traditional reply would be ..” gets all the right numbers” but in Gordon’s case “what numbers?” or “what is the numbers thing?” are probably nearer the mark.
Surely it can be a ryhme or be a spoonerism or some such? Something to with shite perhaps?
Numbers, also, are not our strong point
One tricks the public using smoke and mirrors and the other tricks the public using smoke and mirrors………….er……………No difference.
Both are complete tossers. Both stand in front of the nation and blatantly tell lies! One uses a split screen to hide his dodgy command of cheap tricks the other splits the scene to hide from the public whenever there is a need for him to command. Simples!!
One fucks with your head and the other is fucked in the head.
Round of applause
They are both cheating cnuts
is a traitor
…hands you a plastic carrier bag containing two bricks covered over with empty beer cans?
what is the difference between Gordon Brown and a bucket of shit?
The Bucket.
I love the old one-two.
What’s the difference between Ted Heath and Harold Wilson ?
They both smoke a pipe, except Ted Heath
Why does Brown wear his underpants in the bath?
He does not like to look down on the unemployed
Q: What is the difference between Gordon Brown and a savage and brutal beating by a gang of hardened thugs?
A: Gordon Brown damages the soul as well
One is an illusionist the other is a delusionist
** Claps **
mine too
… gets my vote for winner
++ encore ++
encore des frites
Very, very good.
very good very good
Whats the difference between Cameron and Brown?
One was bought up as Eaton the other looks like he’s been eaten and bought up
Brown does a lot for the NHS, he makes you feel sick
One got the balls right, the other has just got Balls
True. Ed.
Ex-cell-ent
Perfect…!
As I was going to say before the site so rudely crashed, if Brown ever had balls, they must have atrophied long ago!
one makes you bewildered with amusement wondering how he did it.
The other is a complete Hunt!
Derren gets all the numbers right whereas the other…has the fiscal prudence & understanding of a minor official in Brezhnevs tractor stats department”
And even less honesty!
One uses powers of suggestion and influence through mental capacity.
The other has suspect mental capacity and perceived superiority and influence.
One earns a living by producing illusions that delight and amaze the public, and one earns a living producing illusions that do not delight and amaze the public.
the other….talks balls all right
One of them is gay?
..and the other one hides in the closet.
One fools the audience while the other fools only himself.
The best – excellent
One earns a living the other skins the living……and the dead.
Claps
Gordon Brown is more of a David Blaine character.
They are both weird and happy to lurk in the background for weeks in silence.
You mean he should be suspended from a crane and have rotten fruit thrown at him?
Good on you cobber.
p.s.
sorry about the ashes
Did you mean David Blaine…. or perhaps David Brent?
Derren’s last big ‘trick’ was shooting himself. Can we get Gordon invited onto the show to try again? Tell him there’s some votes in it (which there probably would be, albeit posthumously).
Allowing Gordoom near a loaded firearm is probably not a good idea. If he tried to shoot himself, he’d miss, and probably hit an innocent passer-by.
One of them has a neat goatee arrangement. The other has an unruly beard.
Very good.
How do Autralians find their sheep when the grass gets long?
DELIGHTFULL !!!!!
lol
One will disappear and the other won’t!
This has been linked before but it is very appropriate:
http://www.tpadata.com/browncalculator/
Thanks Sir William – I hadn’t seen that before. Very amusing until you realise it is all true, then just depressing!
What is the difference between Peter Mandelsons arse and a toilet seat?
The toilet seat has a smaller hole and the smells better.
smell’s
One knows quite a few tarty pricks…
“What’s the difference between Derren Brown and Gordon Brown?
One gets all the numbers right whereas the other…” chews his digits what’s left
One is slim and fit and the other is fullof shit !!
and the other shoves his digits up his nose!
One has a split screen, and the other has a split personality
One gets all the numbers right whereas the other one has a dilated sphincter
One sells new books on Amazon starting from £3.70. The other hasnew books on Amazon selling for £0.01.
Not only can the Great Gordo take a vault full of tonnes of gold and turn it – Alakazzam! – into an empty vault, he can make pension funds vanish and turn budget surpluses into record mountainous ruinous crippling debt. With the mere flick of a wand, he can turn a solemn manifesto promise to hold an EU treaty referendum into – Abracadabra! – an out and out lie. He can even make himself disappear for days on end when the shit hits the fan.
Beat that, Derren.
Very good.
Spot on!
One gets all the numbers right whereas the other also gets the numbers right but is called Derren instead of Gordon
Doesn’t scan right. Like Gordon.
And they are both mentalists.
One goes to Gay Bars and the other used to.
What is the difference between a ‘Stinger’ device approved by the Home Secretary and a Porn film approved by the home Secretarys husband?
One Knackers your tyres the other tires his Knackers.
BBC:
”
A £114m communications system has been withdrawn by the Ministry of Defence from front-line service after failings.
Replacing it is Radwin, a £300,000 system from Israel designed to work in “severe conditions”.
”
Spot the difference? £114million for a system that doesn’t work, versus a 300grand system that does work? And labour says that there are no savings to be made and that the government draw up their contracts perfectly.
“Failings” sounds like shameful, euphemistic spin for “deaths, mangled bodies and lives spent with avoidable disabilities”.
Shame on them.
The dangers of standing in an exposed position with a flag in each hand are obvious to me; why couldn’t the government see it before they wasted all that money?
Easy. They don’t care because it’s not their money they’re wasting. If it was, they would be a lot more careful.
And I trust that we will be seeking a full refund from the contractor and deleting them from the MOD list? No, of course not, we will probably reward them with another contract….
It’ll probably depend on how much money (if any) the contractors donated to labour.
Alan Sugar’s donation of £200,000 to labour was immediately followed the same day by being put on the approved shortlist of contractors for his company, although I’m sure there was no connection and everything was above board.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1392428/Sugar-gave-200000-to-Labour-on-day-firm-won-Government-endorsement.html
I posted this on robinson’s blog too, because his comparison with churchill really pissed me off. Especially when you consider that, as “watch the skies” notes, “failings” probably means deaths, and the raid that brown brought forward for his own political reasons the other day also caused unnecessary death.
Labour: waste money, cause death, destroy the economy. scorched earth. it’s what we do.
The comparison was surely with the self satisfied jowly and extremely unappealing cartoon dog on the insurance adverts. Or have I missed something?
I daren’t read Toenails anymore for the good of my blood pressure.
I know what you mean. There’s something new every day, whether it be mourning the sad death of another soldier in Afghanistan, or the dodgy dealings of this sham of a government. The latter seems to be increassing by the hour.
By the time I’ve seen the news at 6pm, I’m usually severely hacked off with this country and all the people running it.
THe difference is that Churchill had physical health problems whilst Brown seems to have severe mental health problems. Anyone who can’t see the difference is deluding themselves.
Well, my posting got removed from Robinson’s blog, as did pretty much half of them from other people, and it’s now been closed off to avoid any more entries from needing to have the remove flag set. (the removed entries were perfectly benign; all just saying that comparing brown to churchill was simply wrong, and that robinson should stop doing it).
Adding more “removed” entries would make the BBC look bad in an audit, so they close off the topic before any more postings get made once they realise they’ve gone too far and pissed too many people off with their blatant pro-labour electioneering.
If anyone wants to see state propaganda and censorship in action, take a look:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/nickrobinson/2009/09/pay_later.html
Robinson; if you’re reading this, you had no right to remove all those entries. You can’t compare a negligent idiot like Brown to Churchill, and then ban anyone who disagrees with you. When the tories oust brown in 2010, I hope the first thing they do is put the BBC on the list of banned terrorist organisations. My income pays your wages, and the kind of approach you’ve got there is absolutely fucking sickening.
hear hear
Bowman is rubbish – Im a RAF engineer and can vouch for its crapness – see here:
http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/ld200809/ldhansrd/text/90205w0001.htm
Total cost for Bowman so far in the region of about 2Billion!
One is gay, lies to you for effect, and makes up numbers, and the other is a TV magician
One has all his balls in a line, the other has his Balls lining him up…..
One’s a man that plays with his balls on live TV, and the other is Derren Brown.
One of them has had astonishing success since he started regularly appearing on our televisions and on youtube, the other…
One is a prime mentalist, and the other is just a TV magician
They both look like morons and at one time appealed to the masses.
One saws ladies in half, the other isn’t allowed sharp things.
One of them strokes his beard when thinking.
Derren performs Cunning Stunts .. whilst McDoom is a ….
Gordon – what a stupid name.
what’s the difference between Prime Minister of Great Britain Gordon Brown and the English ladies first XI football team?
- they both like to be thrashed, Ja?
thank fuck those useless lezzers got thrashed last night and those crap English cυnts can’t play cricket when the pitch hasn’t been knobbled – takes the heat off how shit I am see
Ones an illusionist and the other’s a delusionalist
one takes it up the shitter, whilst the other is a one eyed pants wetting mincing scottish loon, who also takes it up the shitter!
What’s the difference? One is a master of illusion, the other is a stage magician.
Gordon is under attack on all fronts now, though. Isn’t he?
Obama disappointed in Brown, Campaigners worry about Brown’s negative impact on families, Brown under attack for rescue mission, Unions confront Brown. Brown isn’t doing very well!/a>
” One gets all the numbers right whereas the other one has a dilated sphincter ”
How dare you describe the cabinet in that way.
I have just come from the sperm bank where I often donate. I saw McSnottgobbler sitting there and said “I can’t believe you can seriously
be capable of donating your sperm”
He couldn’t speak,just puffed out his cheeks indicating he had a mouth full.
It’s forming in my mind….I can see it now…..it’s the future…..the image is clear now, yes, yes……..Labour will lose the election!
whereas the other … just plays with Balls.
PS: http://bit.ly/NcCVq
Mildld O/T but is Gordon Brown dead? Reason for the enquiry is that the Telegraph says he’s issued a posthumous apology.
Oh how I wish…
I really hate this phenomenon of someone now who has nowt to do with the original offence “apologising”. WTF does it have to do with Gordon, or any of us? And Gordon’s moaning about homophobic laws… they were the laws of the day. I thoroughly rate Turing – I’ve always been a fan. The feller did great things and it was a great shame. But that was how it was back then – if Gordon apologises to Turing, what about all the other whoopsies? Shouldn’t he apologise to them? Should he apologise to the families of murderers who were hanged? Should he apologise to abortionists who were jailed?
Why doesn’t Gordon instead apologise to us instead? Where’s our gold you Hunt? Say sorry for that eh? say sorry for your pensions theft. Fucking twat.
Every time I think that man can go no lower, he manages to sneak the bar down yet again.
Worst. PM. Ever.
Turing was a maths god. Gordon is a badly assembled mass of flaccid erectile forming a shambling heap of blethering insecurity. Other than that, they have much in common, such as both having the letter “g” appear somewhere in their names. This last, crucial point is surely the reason Gordon speaks out about this now.
No Brown spoke out because homosexualists are caring, lefty people who vote Labour. Apart from the ones who don’t.
He also spoke out because Turing is tied to WWII, courage, intelligence, Churchill, victory and all those other ‘good’ things that Brown likes to associate himself with.
As some kind of compensation for being an utterly useless arsehole. It’s the same kind of mindset that has him rushing half way around the world to get a picture in the same wide-angle photo as Obama Beach.
Another page in his autobigraphy writes itself.
‘There was the time when I personally took the initiative to …blah blah Alan Turing ….blah blah… brilliant man, like myself… blah blah … if he were still alive we’d have been great friends … blah blah…’
Simpering middle class, hand wringing, guilt ridden, lefty liberals absolutely love these faux apologies. It makes them feel much better about themselves afterwards. We should apologise for all the crimes commited by the government going back to the dawn of time.
Mind you that Joan of Arc, she was bang to rights.
McDoom maybe needs to get the pink vote onside (and possible lay the path for the inevitable “outing” once out of power).
As we get closer to the election I understand that the Pagan vote might be fairly crucial too in certain rural parts so be prepared for his sincere apologies for all those poor old cat-loving dears that were burned or drowned some years back.
And yet, as Heresy Corner points out today, that bastard’s government – so touchy, so feely, so “supporting” of otherwise sexualities – is close to criminalising S&M. After no coppers in the BNP and no alkie teachers we now get no subby social workers. Barring people from work because of their sex life. Isn’t this somethign Gordon should be apologising for? Oh, no, that fucker introduced it. As the Heresiarch says “Especially sinister is the abolition of private life implicit in such moves – that someone can be disqualified for a job, not because of anything that might interfere with their work, but because of their past choices, or because of aspects of their private life that they often manage to secret even from their families.”
There is nothing about Labour that is anything other than contemptible – and that applies whether you are gay, straight or celibate. They are the worst people in the world.
I want Gordon to apologise for being born.
We are tough on crime and tough on the causes of crime; if we have to be even tougher on those of masochistic tendencies then they will have to take that on the chin. Or bum.
Yeah. Sorry about that.
Yes it is odd isn’t it… Broon and Turing.
One was an autistic homosexual who had problems with his relationships with women and sought solace in numbers, preferring to be the back room boffin rather than in the limelight.
….
…..
……
The other worked at Bletchley Park during WW2.
Bollocks to that, MJ. Brown might be all the other things you call him, but he could never be accused of an interest in numbers, unless you mean those of chat lines….
Brown wasn’t born .. he was “hatched” by the warmth from the beam of a copper’s torch, as he slowly trickled down his mother’s leg ..
The BBC page about the bail-out is interesting:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/8249411.stm
the interest alone will be more than the entire education budget.
And:
“The UK and US spent the most, with the UK spending far more, 94% of its GDP compared to 25% in the US.
That equates to £30,000 per person in the UK and $10,000 in the US”
Makes me wonder, if the crisis was created in the usa, how come we’ve been hit proportionally so much harder? Maybe our financial system is a larger part of our economy proportionally that the americans’ is, but even taking that into account it’s pretty scary stuff.
Of course, if our government had policed its own system properly, then we wouldn’t have been hit at all because we’d have been almost immune from the knock-on effects. If our system had been in a situation of: “our leverage is safe; if a risk is unknown then it’s considered a loss when it comes to leverage calculations” then we would have been fine.
All this bollocks about not being able to safeguard against it because it’s a “global” market is utter shite. You can still police your own companies. If they operate on your soil or in your markets then they follow your rules. If they don’t want to follow your rules then you don’t let them trade here. Simple as that.
the interest alone will be more than the entire education budget.
That’s Labour even more fucked then.
Cameron will take them apart on that.
Prime Minister, instead of spending on ‘Education, education and education’ thanks to your utter incompetent handling of the UK’s economy you will be spending more on debt repayment, debt repayment and debt repayment.
Brown will turn puce.
No he won’t – he’ll say, as if it means anything “Tories are the do nothing party” and “Bankrupting the country was the right thing to do because it was the right thing to do”. And the pondscum behind him will cheer and he’ll go on, and on, and on.
Cameron will continue to load the dishwasher under the clock giving the wrong date.
He will then get on his bike (if not stolen) and arrive at the Commons to meet his useless/hopeless Shadow Cabinet whom noone has ever heard.
He will then shuffle up on the green leather bench, snuggling tight with his colleagues, staring across the Mace for his 15 mins worth of petty squabbling with a nut case PM.
Pathetic – and we pay these people to OPPOSE. He knows taxpayers want a rebate for his failings.
Yes, because after 18 years unelectable the hugely experienced team at ZanuLabour took office and just filled the cabinet with experienced, gifted politicians, all of them household names back in 97.
My Arse!
The present shower are mostly professional politicians, with no experience of anything beyond sponging from the public purse or lining their pockets at the expense of the poor. Their “experience” is not an electoral advantage.
Gordon, as Chancellor, purported himself as a world statesman, He well knew about the sub-prime problems in America as far back as 2005 when our economists were screaming for him to do something to regulate the FSA. But he had his eye on No. 10 and he chose to do nothing. We are now all suffering because of it, and things will get a lot worse.
I reckon that from day 1 in office Brown decided to take the UK economy along the same route chosen by Clinton in America that is ‘ don’t discourage the banks from lending more recklessly ‘–’ the economy will grow and the banks can be left to sort out any defaulters’
Brown (and Blair ) copied
this idiotic idea and as we all know there was economic growth.
America was first into this scheme so it was to be expected that the fiasco would occur there first .
This is what Brown means when he bleats,”It started in America ”
Brown chose to copy America ,no one compelled him to do it .He basked in all of the praise doled out by people who should have known better .
Why can’t he admit to his big.big mistake and just resign with the promise that we shall never see him in public again ? Why not? Because he is new labour –
no one in new Labour makes mistakes . Ever .
That’s all true that is. It ‘started in America’ in the sense that the yanks cut loose with ‘deficit spending’ ie insane borrowing and low interest rates.
And Gordon Brown copied them.
His ‘defence’ for his utter economic fuckwittery is the same as naughty boys the world over.
‘It was Merica’s idea miss…. They were all doing it too miss… ‘It wasn’t just me miss…. ‘
Well Gordon, if they all jumped off a cliff would you do it too?
Go on. Cheer us all up.
Gordon Brown said he was ‘deeply sorry’ for the inhumane treatment of the Cambridge mathematician Alan Turing.
Why, what did Gordon Brown do to him?
My old Dad often attempted and occasionally succeeded in treating Luftwaffe bomber crews in a cruel and inhumane way, with the full support of the government. Should I apologise?
Mine too. He was a rear gunner on the Lancs.
My first job was rear gunner on a milk float in Liverpool.
Nahh! 3.7 inch high angle, radar guided with proximity fuses and a 7 mile range. A real man’s weapon.
Exist.
Was the reply to 126. Queue jumper.
Turing has no living relatives, so to whom was Brown apologising?. May be, just a chance it was just a publicity stunt?
One simulates magic, the other dissimulates reality.
One Does Illusions, The Other Delusions !
One is a succesful and sought after mentalist.
The other is just a fucking menatalist.
p.s.
menatalist is the medieval French version of mentalist
A couple of weeks ago, the lotto jackpot was 2 million and Gordon Brown reckoned he could use it to reduce the national debt, so he bough 5 million quid’s worth of tickets – and still didn’t win
one is a very good illusionist the other one cannot even do that. he ran out of smoke and mirrors long ago. no one believes a word he says when he can actually be bothered to say anything. Al Megrahi will be dead before brown makes his mind up and eventually speaks out
well numbers are not his strong point
“What’s the difference between Derren Brown and Gordon Brown?
that’s easy!
they both own turkey basters but one of them uses their turkey baster to baste turkeys whereas the other one uses it for insemination purposes.
do I win a t-shirt Guido?
“……whist the other is a comedian”
smaller order figure causes