09:09, 09.09.09
Nine seconds later is everyone still here? No terror incident? Good. Keep calm and carry on…
Polly’s Voodoo Polling | UK Polling Report
Labour SpAd Backs the Bill | Mark Wallace
Guido Goes for the Lobby | Press Gazette
Argentina has No Claim to the Falklands | George Grant
Why Is Sarah Teather Still in the Government? | Mail
Guido Fawkes “Out Ran Lawyers” | BBC
Ed Wins PMQs in TV Blackout | The Commentator
Sky Twitter Madness | Guardian
The Case for US Support for Israeli Raid on Iran | Niall Ferguson
Liberal Leftovers | Liberal Vision
Bad Week for the Guardian | Harry Cole
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John Higginson of the Metro explains Quantitative Easing:
“There is £100 and 100 loaves of bread costing £1 each. QE creates another £100. Each loaf now costs £2.”
DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:
Maybe if they really wanted to “decontaminate the Labour brand” with business people, they shouldn’t have totally buggered up the economy?
Just a thought.
You’re two days early.
It’s supposed to be the end of the world today. Sure explains Alistair Darlings desire to not pay off the £2.5 Trillion debt in any hurry.
It was the end of my world when these morons were elected.
I’m patiently waiting for 10:10.10 on 10/10/10 now.
10-10 till we do it again, then.
See you on the flip side.
How about 11:11:11 on 11/11/11?
That has a nice symmetry about it.
Hopefully by 10:10:2010 Gordon will have retired or put out to grass – so Disaster might have been averted.
Dear All
Have you noticed how the days are getting shorter and the nights are getting longer?
I wonder what is going on.
Your sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
(Membership: 1)
Superstitious Catholic!
You have no idea how many times we’ve saved the world by saluting magpies
why do we do that?
I dunno. I daren’t risk not doing it to find out.
the magpie was the one bird that did not mourn the death of Christ and so is forever cursed .because of this you have to show respect to it by saluting
I shoot the fuckers.
Nigel – that seems a bit fucked up. The magpie did not mourn the death of Christ so we show it respect by saluting?
Under those circumstances I can understand the J*ws showing it respect but Christians should be blowing them (magpies) to pieces for their disrespect. Surely.
Is this another one of those things people haven’t really thought through?
How do they KNOW it didn’t mourn? P’raps it was crying inside, like most of the electorate.
How did they know it didn’t mourn? Because it didn’t leave a fucking enormously ostentatious bouquet outside the tomb like every other fucking bird. That’s how.
‘You are always in our thourts (sic)’ The Robins
‘We’ll never forget you’ The parrots.
‘God Bless. Tonight you sleep with the angels’ The Dodos.
Etc etc.
But the Magpies? Fuck all. And it’s not like they couldn’t afford it with all that shiny stuff they’re forever nicking.
Bastards.
@jgm2
Re:140
ROFL! screen splatter with coffee!
“there’s a nu star in heven tonite” – the tits
“4 a fallen soljer” – the mapie krew
Etc.
funniest thing here in a long while jgm2. well played sir!
might as well join in
‘Much loved carpenter and messiah. see you at easter’ The Ducks
JGM2 @140 – that and your post on the BMA earlier still have me laughing….Respec’ innit…..
You know its so nice to see order order back to being a funny place of witty comments and randomness.
Its been missing that a wee bit recently too many people trolling and taking life a bit too seriously!
Keep up the good work!
My grandmother would be distraught if she saw a solitary magpie. Some old rime about one for sorrow, two for joy bla bla. God moves in mysterious ways. Apparently the sight of a mole eating a pomegranate presages an asteroid strike.
Fat people move in even more mysterious ways. I saw one clog dancing last week. She may just have been getting up to buy more food though.
Oh bugger! Just spotted one of the little critters chomping away. Off to find a tricorn aluminium foil hat just in case.
its a Haemorrhoid strike
Men that Manipulate their Mortgages then Mince their way Merrily back into power Move in Mighty Mysterious ways too. MMMMmm.
@ 74
LOL
I saw a fat stripper last night. Not pleasant, still I did hear her give herself around of applause as she ran off the stage!!!!
@embassy club 1982
Ah. I say – Good Morning/Afternoon, Mr. Magpie. My mother told me to. So I do, bless her. Worked so far.
How do you know if it’s a MR? You are insulting 50% of the magpie population. No wonder Blair got elected and Brown took over.
one for sorrow
two for joy
three for a girl and four for a boy
fives for silver
six for gold
seven for a secret never to be told
eights a wish and nines a kiss
Ten is a bird you must not miss
Maaaaaaaaaggggpppieeeeee…. (for those old enough to remember that program)
Many thanks,Crap TV prog.
There were nine on next door’s roof on saturday and my wife was trying to remember the rhyme.She could only remember up to seven.
Wasn’t THE Magpie called Murgatroyd or some such?
Civilisation continues because I don’t change
radio programmes going over a bridge.
I’ll thing you’ll find it’s because I shout 333 at 15:33, obviously without my feet touching the floor.
EngVik – I hope you also run around churchyards while not thinking about foxes.
Just to be sure, you know.
Brown is still here though, doing the equivalent of a “Dirty Protest” on the economy
Exactly. 12 years of economic and political terrorism at the hands of New Labour and counting…..
Harry – but how long before McDoom finally does the decent thing and goes the way of Bobby Sands?
Yes we are Guido and the Westminster circus still carries on regardless.
Bercow has just hired his own spin doctor at £100,000. Using public money to “raise his profile.”
Well, you know the old saying, “you cannot polish a t***”
He’d have been better investing is some platfom shoes, the short arsed git. Or do a Sarkozy and get some midgets in train to hold his cloak as he enters Parliament.
…but you can pour glitter on it.
You could just eat the glitter first and save time.
Raise his profile?
He needs to raise his height.
Strange how he’s decided to do that so soon after Mr Farage’s announcement that he is going to stand against him in the next election.
Hopefully Mr Bercow will be one of those MP’s selling his taxpayer funded house and looking for a proper job next year.
Then perhaps the new MP’s can get on with the job of electing a proper Speaker.
He’s worse than Gorbals.
MPs’
He could always get a job as a short order cook
Mythbusters did just that a couple of years ago!
I can polish off a tart no problemo…
I don’t care if they polished or not.
Fuck! Another 25 quid lost.
Depends where you are in the world.
Gordonout?
I didn’t know he was in.
Prefer palindromes, me
01/1/10
Try this one;
A man a plan a canal Panama
Satan oscillate my metallic sonatas.
And fuck off while you’re doing it.
An old favourite:
Able I was ere I saw Elba
GrowlyOwl’s one is good, I haven’t seen that before.
Sorry, Guido. It has to be GREENWICH MEAN TIME.
Another 40 minutes to go.
Ooo er… tin hats, flak jacket and gas mask.
And Bacofoil.
Apparently tinfoil hats exacerbate the problem of mind control – or did ‘they’ just say that so we’d take the hats off? (or is it just me that wears one….?)
So much better than clingfilm.
…and I’ve just thrown out all my aluminium saucepans…
It’s in the ‘actual’ numbers English Viking – today is the 9th day of the 9th month 2009 = 999. Added to that, Guido was referring (I believe) to 9mins past 9 o’clock on 9-9-9 ergo 9-9-9-9-9.
However, in one sense, as it’s 2009 it could be seen to be 2+9 = 11 ergo 9-9-11…(the ’0′s don’t count, obviously). 11, and multiples of 11 are MASTER NUMBERS (very important in the occult apparently) (11th hour, 11th day, 11th month anyone? = 33 again funnily enough…).
On Friday it will be 11th of the 9th month 2009 which could be seen as a 911 if you don’t include 2009 ergo 11+9 but it could also be seen as 11+9+2+9 – I’m bored already so work it out if you can be arsed…
Actually, in a way, numerically, much of the above is ‘pants’ as anyone who did basic French knows that Sept = 7… September should be the 7th month, October the 8th, November the 9th, Dec the 10th etc etc etc ad nausium. Perhaps this is the solution to the ‘numerical manipulation of humanity’ as some would see it – once you ‘break the spell’ it has no more power over you.
Sorry, I do get carried away.
There are 10 types of people, those that understand binary and those that don’t
I go up to 11
whichever way you skin it the sum of digits is 9
showoff
Smell the Glove
Can you dust for vomit?
I thought you went up to 69.
Prefer a 68. Give us a blowjob and I’ll owe you one.
Funnily enough Reg511, I’m over 50 but I only realised this week that there are really only 9 numbers – all above 9 are ‘compound numbers’. Fancy that!!
Haarping (!) back to my earlier dull post at #10 – it wasn’t till I read it back that I realised that Guido’s 9-9-9-9-9 = 45 = another 9!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW THAT’S SPOOKY!
is zero a number?
No Reg, apparently ’0′ is not a number so it doesn’t count – see if you can’t count it, it’s not a number, so you DISCOUNT IT – how can you discount anything if nothing exists….I have a headache…
It is a whole number but not a real number.
Reg511 @9:44
Apparently not. There was a law case on this.
“Mr Justice Oliver rejected the submission, holding that nought is not a number, but a cipher of no value.”
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/obituaries/article6826362.ece
The digit 0 was invented by the Egyptians when they at their peak. Before that everything was effectively in base 9 (but obviously without 0 as an option). They also did not have a concept of leap years and believed they were undergoing climate change.
It’s a learning curve round here. Has anyone seen Geoff?
29A, the Number of the Beast!
667 – the neighbour of the beast
#91 Alan Philip Bonggg – so that’s what happened to the Egyptians – they too were carbon taxed into oblivion over ‘man made climate change’. Figures.
Another ’9′ coinkydink – Beatles albums re-MASTERED and re-released today, 99(200)9 – Number 9….Number 9….Number 9….Number 9 – reversed: “turn me on dead man”.
Aleister Crowley features on Sgt Pepper album cover – some would say he WAS/is Sgt Pepper…
664 – The Beast Next Door
0, zero, was invented by the Indians to represent the Infinite!
Some would say the ’1′ is the male and ’0′ is the female….so what does that make No 10? By rights it should be ‘balanced’… Hmmmm.
Infinitely small presumably.
There will be a zero percentage increase in spending
The second Zero was also invented by the Inidans for their roulette wheels on the Old Reservation Casinoes.
Oh how I laughed Phil #113 – priceless. rofl <:o)
whar’s this zero business? I learnt to count using my fingers and toes. which one is the zero digit?
The one where your willy isn’t
Hated maths at skool!
Yeah? Well I fucking hated you too.
Wanker.
September and October, etc., are Latin.
Julius and Augustus were bodged in to keep a couple of politicians happy. No change there, then.
Imagine if it was Gordonuary.
The darkest and most depressing month of the year. The hedgerows are bare of leaf and bird. The herds huddle together for warmth, facing into the bitter North wind.
Jack Frost roams the land…….no new generating stations are coming online and the corpses are piled up in the streets.
Plague wagons ply their grim trade…….
Sorry, got a bit carried away there.
Sarah – sounds like a perfect prediction for the first month of 2015 or thereabouts (on current estimates). “Gordonuary” will be the perfect way to remind people for evermore how truly appalling McDoom and his cronies are.
A truly melancholy Gordonstide to ye all!
I don’t care what the goddam time is, I’m screwed!
http://americangrandjury.org/lucas-smith-affidavit-now-filed-with-the-us-district-court-obama-kenyan-bc
I bet they are doing a roaring trade in Obama Birth Certificates for “cash consideration” in ol’ Kenya. And in Nigeria as well I shouldn’t wonder.
do they do birth certificates for abortions, Phil O’Shite?
Well, you got one.
Nice one tat. I’d recognise your syntax anywhere.
nah, not me retard.
S’right, titfer can’t do apostrophes.
said the after-birth.
Tee hee.
So what happened that story was yesterday
Help!
Oh hum numerology freaks to join the Jewish-papal-masonic-royalist conspiracy theorists
Are there any more to add to the list whilst we’re at it Paulstpancras #14? Pity to waste a good excuse eh!
ha ha ha awaiting moderation and I didn’t even name anyone/thing! lol
But we know what you were thinking.
Moi, Streamfisher
Hang on a minute…..modded for merely thinking – that’s ‘pre-crime’ – sheesh, I thought that was just zanuliebore’s modus operandi! Hang on, that’s another conspiracy…I’ll get my coat
just 12 hours since I was jammily beat by that Croat.
I’ll be wearing a Croatia t-shirt tonite.
What? You mean you haven’t got an Argentina top like every other belligerent, lemon-sucking, McEwans swilling, wife-beating fucker up there?
Is McBroon going to the game tonight at Wembley or will he see sense and go to Hampden instead.
Mind you he’ll think the fans are booing cos Croatia or Holland are on the pitch.
it’s funny because it’s a twatty little troll revealing how much of an ignorant bigot he is. get it ?
keep em coming chuckles
Andy M – you should know by now that when some mumbling derelict called Prudence ‘phones you to wish you luck, just don’t take the call. He’s probably reversing the charges on you anyway.
Be patient!
Gordoom can do what the calendar cannot!
Gordoom is a superman superhero!
Gordoom has integrity!
Clarity of vision!
A man of honour!
Gordoom saved the world and now he will save you!
You lucky bastards!
Y A A A A A A A A W W W W N N N N – did somebody say something?
The likliehood of you waking up SS is very remote!
You sleepwalked to this point! More than 50 years of sleepwalking!
The chances of you smelling the coffee seems remote!
PS.
He is not coming back, never, ever and no way!
Good night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Supergordon? The Man of Steal.
Personally I work to Unix time. And that runs out in 2038.
Arrrgh panic panic panic
Never mind. We will have more bits by then!
So do I but I’ll be retired by then so I don’t care!
And anyway I’ll be 87 so I may well be six feet under.
I’ll be 2,207,520,000 and so probably still working.
Everything will be 64-bit well before then!
We hope!
And if not, I was too young to get the shitloads of consultancy money that came from fixing the Millenium bug, so maybe this one will pay for my retiremnet?
Sir a black hole has appeared , Sorry was just going through the countrys books .
We did a Mexican wave to celebrate the world surviving. There were only two of us that did this so God only knows what the rest of the office made of it.
PS: Shameless plug for my sponsored weight loss challenge: http://bit.ly/NcCVq
Get that fat barsteward Brown to sign up for it.
I’d sign up. If only I could spell my name. Or read. Or write.
(Written for John by one of his retinue as John still has trouble with pens and pencils).
Congratulations on your wave Mike – had I known I would have joined in….
was there supposed to be? have I missed something?
if it’s supposed to match the american backwards date and their emergency number = 911 then don’t forget we’re europeans now…. our emergency number is 112
That liberal conspiracy thread is getting funnier and funnier – they are such miserable humourless twats over there. They Just Don’t Get It.
over where?
Over there
Yes, over there.
http://www.liberalconspiracy.org/2009/09/08/the-nadine-dorries-legal-action-something-odd
There?
On the stair, the little gimps with clogs on, well I declare going shit didly op on the stair, right there. (i’m sure that’d be racist over there for some reason)
Hi Geoff’s mum, how is your сunt of a son?
Still quite hoonish thanks. I’ll ask him to get in touch once he’s stopped murdering squaddies
What a bunch of po-faced wankers on that blog. I didn’t know it existed and now I will try to wipe every trace of it from my brain.
I only deleted the second Tweet to annoy him who must not be named. Wonder why he thinks anyone gives a damn about blog comments and tweets being deleted.
I do it all the time. Tippex built a business out of the same principle.
Jolly earnest types over there aren’t they? Almost too easy to wind ‘em up, really. Candy off a baby.
Yeah? Here I come.
It’s the group-think stupidity – Lefties just aren’t very good at humour, at thinking on their feet, at coming up with retorts on an individual basis. I really dont’ like that. I think a person without humour is definitely a lesser person. You think of the people who can make you laugh, from right and sometimes left, there’s always an intelligence there – and also empathy. You cannot make a gag about someone without knowing what it is to walk in their shoes – to *get* them. You can’t take the piss without know what stings. This is why Brown can’t do it – he has no idea what it’s like to be a Normal. But you look at Hague – effortless. Obama too – most of it’s pre-prepared but his off the cuff stuff is pretty good too. People don’t only like that, they understand that it betrays a quick mind, and a grasp of humanity. Humour, like music, is important to humanity. Lefties think things like pay differentials and drone-like equality are important – this is why they cannot win public affection or public trust. They’re inhuman. Dour. Dull.
Even George Bush could do it. Just ask Nick Robinson.
Frank, your analysis is spot on.You omitted one thing though: the humourless left (and right) who resort to mere personal abuse and empty threat
“Yeah? Here I come.”
……kleenex at the ready.
So, sooo true
that’s why Jim Davidson is the funniest man who ever lived
nick-nick
RACIST! Oh, err..what?
“You can’t take the piss without know what stings”
Cystitis? Poor Koalas.
I love to take the piss out of incontenent people
I see Dolly is repeating the unlikely defence that he did not pass on the libel but that his inbox was hacked into
Dolly Draper. A man of immense integrity…….NOT.
What they will do to save their sorry arses.
Agreed.Having said that, Nadine Dorries is not exactly a haven of rock-solid sanity
How dare you!
My crack space-lawyer/masseur will be serving you with a plate of boiled fish-heads forthwith. Expect dire consequences and the bloody merciless vengeance of the molepeople to follow your slanderous libel.
Even an idiot should realise that by putting one’s thoughts eternally to print, especially defammatory ones, there is a fair chance that one day they’d come to light.
I hope his missus gets another job soon to pay for the legal fees and damages.
look on the bright side phil, if you put all of your thoughts into print it would fit on one side of A4.
you dopey cripple.
they just don’t get satire do they ?
someone should sue
It’s all a red herring. The number 5 is the new number of the Beast. The 5/4 time signature was not invented until the early C19 and is still known only through a handful of curiosities such as Dave Brubeck’s ‘Take Five’, the Scherzo from Bartok’s Third String Quartet and the theme tune from Hawaii Five-O.
Also there is no symmetric tiling of the plane of order five but there is a tiling of the sphere with a five-fold axis. A football is just an inflated dodecahedron as you might have noticed when you are watching Match of the Day. Most people at home do not notice this as they are too busy knocking over tinnies and singing ‘who ate all the pies’.
But even this may be a red herring. It is not swine flu that is the threat. It is the vaccine. A CIA scientist told me in 1995 that technology even then enabled microchips to be injected into the blood stream via hyperdermic syringe. The government is going to use this to have us all tagged and put on a database. I speak the truth.
ha ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha, oh, stop, please, ha ha ha ha….
He forgot to mention that the Earth is hollow and that the royal family eat dead babies.
Allegedly.
Also 1995 will be an Illuminati special number which is why the vaccine was developed in 1995. By an astonishing coincidence every number is an Illuminati special number. Or the sum of special numbers. Or the reciprocal of special Illuminati numbers. Or a number deliberately chosen because it was not an Illuminati special number to lessen the likelihood of detection.
Allegedly David Icke’s discovery of the Illuminati, lizard controllers of the world, followed on fairly hot on the foot of his missus finding out he was having an affair. Although that’s just the kind of smear the Illuminati would create to discredit the purple one.
Anyway, enough, my chakra needs sustenance.
What? Someone actually had an affair with David Icke?
She must have been as biffy as he is.
And *you* forgot to mention that Boxcar Willie is an Illuminatus.
Neglect this and the whole theory collapses like a house of cards.
Boxcar Willie? Can’t they treat that with antibiotics, these days?
Puuuhlease you’ll be spouting off and ranting about the New World Order next.
Which is of course run by the spacelizard-bliderburger-illuminati-trilateral-freemason-troofer-nasa-skulll&bones-bankingfamilies-ers
And Elvis
PURPLE SHELL SUITS GET YOUR PURPLE SHELL SUITS HERE!
ROLL UP ROLL UP! A FIVER EACH WHAT A BARGAIN!
TWO PAIRS LOVE? NO PROBLEM!
It is irrefutable and therefore true.
http://www.davidicke.com/content/view/25191
It is not, and never was a red herring FFS, it has always been the green scaly reptiles, you only have to look at the front benches, get a grip oh Messiah
I must admit I was a bit sceptical of Icke’s lizard people until Alistair Campbell, Mandelson and Tony and Cherie Blair came on the scene.
It doesn’t need too much imagination to see the lizard creature behind the reptillian facade of that lot. It would look a lot like that lizard character in ‘Monsters Inc’.
…Or “V”. Does anyone remember that?
Not to mention blinky Balls
Re 5/4 time signature. Since the BBC is obsessed by the Beatles at the moment, may I point out thet their song “Don’t let me down momemtarily switches to 5/4 before reverting to 4/4 again.
The pieces are starting to fall into place now. David Icke must have gained his insight into the platonic solids during his spell as goalkeeper for Hereford United FC. Hereford is the base of the SAS who are going to be in the front line against any extra-terrestrial infiltration. The one flaw in his cosmogony seems to be the time signature of the theme tune to Hawaii Five-O but this may be deliberate. Islamic tilings, carpets etc always contain some design flaw because it is not for us mortals to aspire to perfection and it helps to ward off the evil eye. Right, David?
Book ‘em, Danno
Look, never mind all that bollocks, just tell me how many pairs of shell suits you want to order?
Why five of course, David. And turquoise, natch.
And Holst’s “Planets” suite.
You can keep 5/4 time by repeating the name “Rimsky-Korsakov”.
You are the Cresta ice skating bear and i claim my free bottle of Cresta
Ninety-nine……change hands…
Red balloons surely?
If we’re on abaht noombers, wot’s wrong wi’ ma favorite – pi.
As long as it comes with chips…
I thought it was 69*
*Beef with brocolli and fried rice.
The biggest threat comes not from a particular time on Astronomical Terrestrial Dynamical Time, rather from the loony green lefties that have taken over the EU.
Try not to be serious when we’re all having a pre-catastrophe giggle, that’s a good fellow.
Astronomer with a telescope says ‘sorry’. I thought ‘Call me Dave’ had put this one out as Conservative Policy…
Would that be Julian or Gregorian 9/9/9? GMT or BST?
What about the other time zones?They might feel left out
Yes. My personal time zone is sick of the lack of recognition.
You should worry more about that time you were dropped on your head as a child.
The other time zones aren’t as obsessed with terrorism as we are. Pre-9/11, would we really be worried about whether the IRA would strike at 09:09:09 on 9/9/09? Conclusion: it all started in America.
Still a couple of hours to go for the New Yorkers and a handful for the Californians. If you think we have tin-foil hats on….
Nein, nein, nein.
Yes. Yes. No; zzzzzzz
Topical with the release of the Beatles works digitally remastered, lets all sing the number nine song…Number Nine, Number Nine, Number Nine……..
60s pop group……..very topical.
[...] and, I was going to comment on this being the ninth day of the ninth month of the ninth year but someone has already beaten me to it.(Add it to the list so it wasn’t Bird Flu, the Millennium bug etc [...]
Time is a funny old thing.
When you think that it stretches as far back as it does forward.
I ask myself,’Where was my soul in the vast infinity of the past?’
In fact where was it just prior to my conception?
Is there life after death? is there fuck because there certainly wasn’t life before life and that is something unlike death that we are all witness to.
I think you may be a reincarnated gerbil, or possibly a hamster. To avoid future disappointment get a relative to cremate you and dump the remains in the Ganges or join the Labour Party.
go easy on the superskunk SO17.
FFS.
That’s a bit heavy going for 10.30am. I hadn’t even had my coffee by then.
It’s that old joke about the guy who bet a million quid on the end of the world happening.
Don’t think we are out of the woods yet….we still have to make it through 20:09 20 09 2009
Fuck off Bob, I’m fed up with your overlong and tiresome comments.
Profound.
I found his nihilistic take on the nothingness of the void rather shallow. Perhaps if he had expressed with more depth the emptiness of abandon I would agree with you NewGirl.
Check your punctuation
Bob sir you have made afew typos
Only in the sea of silence can we find the fish of peace.
You are Edward Monkton and I claim my aqualung.
Never heard of him but the usual web resource says that he shares an office in Notting Hill with Richard Curtis and Mariella Frostrup. That’s three reasons why he should be shot on sight before we even get started on the abominations he inflicts on the public. Mr Biscuit is not happy until he shacks up with Mr Potato, indeed. Albert, get my gun.
…Fish of peace is a cod-koan attributed to Sir Laurens van der Post in PE’s ‘Heir of Sorrows’ c 1986.
I do like the “madness hamsters”. I suppose its all reletive though. I only look at his work when bored in the kind of shop that only women like.
It’s the thought that counts, innit Bob?
if it is the thought that counts then you score a big fat zero phil.
which is rather apt because you are a big fat zero.
innit.
Ah, the teaching of silence – will you be my guru?
Oi, no swearing here. Guido doesn’t like it, you know!
Down with Gordon!
I’d love a firm pair of moobs to come down on me.
You can’t get firm moobs. That’s a condradiction in terms.
oops. That’s a typo…
Can I have ‘moobs’ ?
What are they ?
Is it like when you rub yourself Really HARD against a haystack ?
Someone just told me, – and I think it’s disgusting!!
Now, where’s my comfy blanket?
Is Gordon the name of your g-string?
How did you know that? Are you a peeping tom?
If i may , Is anyone else having trouble getting the times up on the web ?
At the third stroke it will be 11:00 precisely …..Beep…Beep….Beep
you are a minute out
precisely is an approximation.
At the third stroke…sorry, love.
Got a bit too excited, did we?
There is Talk among some labour backbenchers to push the Pm out and have a new leader , However there is a snag .
Once a lord always a lord
We live in hope for the first part, but don’t fancy the alternative in more ways that one.
There is meant to be an Act allowing Life Peers to relinquish their titles announced at the next State Opening of Parliament. Anyone who saw Lord M of H&F boasting of how good his pokerface was on Sky News can only wonder whether he will be thrice-reborn.
An’ rememba, nuth’ns ma fult!!! ye un’stn
Just keep watching Downing Street – when the “fuckers” start beaming up is the time to worry – as Nic Cage found out !!!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knowing_%28film%29
Given the Jack Straw has now granted a royal pardon to Michael Shields, due to a new rendition of old evidence, is there anybody here who would knowingly put their lives in the hands of any MP or person in authority?????
Fisrt Biggs then the bomber now shields are labour going for the crimanl vote ?
Since when are benefit cheats allowed to grant “Royal pardons” ??
WTF ?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/mps-expenses/5293369/Jack-Straw-apologises-for-bungling-claim-MPs-expenses.html
I think these are the first of many.
Having seen my post 190 i have relised what is going on , Labour have nicked the Tories ” hug a hoodie ” policy
Having second thoughts
this on UK’s ‘improving’ July trade deficit:
“Britain’s global goods trade gap narrowed fractionally to £6.5bn from an upwardly revised £6.5bn in June.”
http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/7db794c8-9d22-11de-9f4a-00144feabdc0.html
is that like a 0% rise? Even the ONS number-friggers couldn’t lie like the FT:
“The deficit on trade in goods was £6.5 billion, unchanged from June.” – ONS
‘FT – for scum written by scum’.
Sir this is as Mr Fawkes would say dead tree press
Doesn’t necessarily mean things are getting better. Just means they’re not getting worse as fast as they were.
Exactly. Still in the shit, and Darling’s 175bn estimate for borrowing still looking wildly optimistic.
The BBC buzz word of today is Green Shoots again, the economy is recovering because unemployment is not increasing…. wait for it…..quite as fast as it was.
Buzz words and are…for the pedants.
A llot of unemployed people are now on government training courses, which takes them out of the unemployment figures.
Link up with Microsoft has promised 500,000 ‘jobs’, the definition generally accepted by most people of a job has hitherto been being in payed employment, Nulab have now decided that a job is anything the Government dreams up to massage the unemployment figures.
shelling-out
don’t forget all those been sent to worthless organisations like A4e and Shaw Trust
or yesterday’s spin that UK’s factories are humming again due to 0.9% rise in manufacturing output in July – due mainly to an Indian owned factory in Brum producing a couple of hundred extra units for dealer launch stocks of facelifted vehicles – the definition of a tinpot economy.
Tata – by any chance?
Tata and thanks for all the Fish.
Don’t count your chickens yet, the US has yet to wake up and they are the main target
Actually 09 09 09 2009
Trust Jesus to spoil our fun. He can be such a bore.
The cost of journalism = 1 dead soldier, 2 dead civilians, 1 dead interpreter.
1 journalist is worth 4 lives.
What about a columnist?
Dead three + 1 Press.
Turns out the journo has dual nationality:Irish and British.Where was he born though?
Sadly I was going to have a glass of champers in celebration on:
09:09:09 on 09/09/09
But, alas, I couldn’t even find the opening to get the foil off before it was 09:09:10
Have to get this off my chest. The date is 09/09/2009. Now did everyone spot that 2009 has a 2 in it? Good, now we can stop all this nonsense about it only having 9′s.
My spouse yelled: ‘pedant!’ at me for saying just that…
Ah, you may say “no terror incident”, but of course that’s just what they want you to think…
McDoom is still here, that’s terrifying enough for one day
Guido
I have a big bruise on my leg and its sore.
In terror land, they are still back in the dark ages in the year 1430 AH, so back to the drawing board for significant dates; although, if you turn 666 on its head in Mexico you get 999 and have to tell the President..