September 8th, 2009

It is @GuidoFawkes, Ben

no_twitter_smallFirst things first, if you want to message use @guidofawkes. Better still, use email.  Ben Brogan has joined Twitter.  God knows why, suspect it might be something to do with Paul Waugh claiming Twitter-lead scoops.

How many million did the Telegraph lose last year? Don’t you have a paper to write Ben?

You ain’t gonna tweet your way to profitability…

Ben Twitter


94 Comments

  1. 1
    J.Presclott says:

    I’m a Twitter Twat

  2. 2
    Humble Servant says:

    If I can work out how to use this I could be first

  3. 3
    Come the glourious day says:

    Oh missus, Twitter ye not.

  4. 4
    Claudius says:

    Pillock

  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    Who the fuck are Ben Brogan and Paul Waugh?

    This has become such a clique site.

  6. 6
    Nearly Headless Nick says:

    Twat!

  7. 7
    Nearly Headless Nick says:

    Mind you a Twat, just like a CNUT is useful!

  8. 9
    Chief Cashier says:

    How much is a telegraph these days?

    • 35
      Engineer says:

      You can’t send one, now. You have to send an e-mail (if you’re in Yorkshire), a snail mail (if you’re in France), or a carrier pigeon. Or you could just ring them up on this new-fangled telephonic communication apparatus.

      • 67
        Seymore Clearley says:

        But you only need to use one hand for CB Radio. I bet more people have pulled on this media than twitter

  9. 11
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Guido
    Stop giving these nonentities the oxygen of banality.

  10. 12
    Penfold says:

    Another TWAT

  11. 13
    Charmian Sharman says:

    Dear Mongs

    Here at Order Order, you probably thought you were safe from the inclusivity agenda at this time. But let me assure you, you are not!

    We want to know what you think. We care about your opinions, your experiences, your input.

    So, to start the ball rolling, here are three tough questions to get you thinking – hopefully “outside of the box”, because that is the way to go if we want to continue delivering world-beating public services to the community!

    And may I just say one thing.

    1. How do we complete a change of mindset so that involving and engaging people is part and parcel of the design and delivery of services from square one?

    2.What are the right conditions for bringing services together? What is the role of targets, what is the role of resource allocation, what is the role of structural change, of changing job roles and changing the way that we think of local leadership?

    3. And how we can use the need for efficiency as a catalyst for innovation?

    Over to you!

    • 17
      Cardinal Fang says:

      Wait, I mean EIGHT tough questions.

    • 28
      Moley says:

      The public need to know what the cost is in terms of both income tax and expenditure tax. (e.g. The NHS cost 6p in the pound on income tax or 10% on VAT).

      The target with a government provided service is then consumer satisfaction and only consumer satisfaction, it is a simple measurement to take but is highly complex in the criteria it examines.

      The success of everybody who works in the service providing organisation is measured by the degree of public satisfaction.

      Everything else will follow.

    • 29
      Eduard Kakenshorten says:

      This type of questioning really is shite.

      I could spend all evening writing a reply but I cannot be bothered, if you don’t know the answers l am not telling you

    • 61

      1. How do we complete a change of mindset so that involving and engaging people is part and parcel of the design and delivery of services from square one?

      Customers not extortion.

      2.What are the right conditions for bringing services together?

      Customers Focus.

      What is the role of targets, what is the role of resource allocation, what is the role of structural change, of changing job roles and changing the way that we think of local leadership?

      To get customers, rather than extort from them

      3. And how we can use the need for efficiency as a catalyst for innovation?

      Cease extortion and charge. i.e. Customer focus.

    • 69
      Engineer says:

      1) Talk to the people at the sharp end. They usually know what is needed to do the job better or quicker.

      2) Bureacracies usually want to preserve themselves. Ignore them. More than one company in the private sector has found that they could lose one or two layers of management wholesale, and, after an initial period of shakedown,end up doing a better job.

      3) Keep it really simple. What is the service really there to do. Just do that.

    • 72
      I_Despise_Labour says:

      There’s a more important question….

      Why is it that no matter how much money is thrown at them or how many non-jobs created, public services are still shit?

      Sack every 3rd person employed in the public sector

    • 76
      Anonymous says:

      How about Bollox, no wonder the country is fucked with this wank speak all over the place. It really is bollox I mean really.

  12. 14
    SO17 says:

    Having found today that I have lost one of my two followers(the one remaining being my dad) what is needed maybe a spin doctor or better still an interesting action packed life.
    WLTM female 18-19 for fun filled sex in the most depraved manner possible/maybe more.
    Have car will travel.

  13. 15
    Leslie Phillips says:

    Old perv (45) seeks witless female to make tea and other stuff.

    Relaxed attitude to corporal punishment essential.

  14. 18
    Muhammad Ali says:

    Benny Brogan, is he a paddy too Fawkes? Did you know I hailed from Ennis?

  15. 20
    Dan Taylor says:

    What you DIDN’T know about Ed Balls… Well worth taking a look at!!!

    http://ddtaylor88.wordpress.com/2009/09/08/eds-balls-what-you-didnt-know/

    • 23
      Steve Expat says:

      Dan, this has been Guido’s “quote of the day” for the past week – keep with the times ;-)

    • 30
      Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

      Now now Dan, you’re straying back to self advertisement and the natives won’t like it.

    • 34
      The Admiral says:

      Might there be a virus on the end of this…?

      Just a thought……

      • 38
        Engineer says:

        If the definition of ‘virus’ is ‘shameless young self-publicist’, the answer is yes.

        • 51
          Bliar the Liar his pants are inflammable says:

          that’s actually the exact definition of a tweeter and also a blogger

  16. 21
    Steve Expat says:

    Cameron was right Benedict – too many Twits make a Twat!

    • 42
      Boycott the Р Я А Б Д А licence fee says:

      Steve Expat, you’re an IT wiz. Have you found a way to manage which comments you’ve read and which you haven’t? It drives me round the bend when there gets to be several hundred of ‘em and you get refreshed each time you comment and a new lot arrive. Is there anything available online or do I have to DIY a javascript of my own to sort out the chaos?

      • 90
        Steve Expat says:

        Boycott, I have to say I’m not an expert on this, I spend most of my days trying to keep the proles off the forums and blogs rather than encouraging them! And don’t start me on Farcebook or Twatter!

        A quick “googling” suggests that the ‘Forum Additive’ plugin for Firefox might be what you are looking for, although i’ve not used it myself. Take a look at http://mozillalinks.org/wp/2007/03/make-firefox-monitor-forum-threads/ and report back if it’s what you want or if it might be useful to others on here! It says it sends alerts for new posts or threads you’re following.

        Might be good, might be shit!

        Steve

    • 53
      Boycott the Р Я А Б Д А licence fee says:

      Don’t go away, Steve! I’ve a question in the mod pipeline for you!

      • 58
        Australian says:

        Boycott – you have still got your Cyrillic wrong. I would imagine that you meant to refer to:

        ПРАВДА Licence Fee.

        • 66
          Boycott the Р Я А Б Д А licence fee says:

          I already done gone and explained this in the earlier thread. I’m doing it this way so more people get the message. Most Brits won’t recognise the correct glyphs.

        • 91
          Australian says:

          OK – noted. I missed the explanation on the other thread.

          You should stick with being correct however, otherwise you are simply giving in to the NuLab edukayshun project for the complete dumbing-down of the country.

  17. 22
    The Admiral says:

    One question re. Twitter……….. WHY….

    I know someone wanted to make some money and dreamt this thing up, but I have NO idea why.

    We have the phone call, the text, the email, and all the facebook stuff, so…

    WHO NEEDS S*DDING TWITTER…….

    • 24
      The Admiral says:

      Oh I forgot, the IM

      • 25
        The Admiral says:

        and the FAX……

      • 60
        nell says:

        Writing letters has sadly gone out of fashion. What a pity. Nothing like a nice letter in the mail in the morning with that first cup of tea.

        • 65
          A man waiting for the day he can shit on Brown's grave says:

          You get mail in the morning? I haven’t had that since the Royal Mail cancelled the first post and moved the second post to around the middle of the afternoon.

          But I like to write mail in the morning. “Dear Gordon Brown, Jesus Harry Christ mate, can’t you see you’re not fecking good? Can you not see that you’re inept? Everyone hates you, quit, fucktard, quit!”

          He doesn’t, though. I guess he can’t read. Or he’s too busy hiding in a closet.

        • 85
          A pretty straight kinda guy says:

          I wrote a five page letter and sent it by email to half the local councillors at 11pm on Sunday night. My God, there must have been a lot of sleep lost that night. You can’t do that using Royal Mail!!

  18. 26

    Guido. I really don’t understand your antipathy to Twitter. It is an excellent medium for keeping in touch with other politically interested people and I have actually found out some recent major news stories via Twitter before anywhere else.

    Considering how well you have embraced and harnessed the blogosphere it seems very odd that you are so keen to shun another avenue of the technology. It all seems a bit incongruous.

  19. 31
    Captain Haddock says:

    Benedict who ????

  20. 32
    Moley says:

    I recommend Guido’s quote of the day.

    DC has a sense of humour, and those prices in the House of commons aren’t so much subsidised as free.

    This is a serious taxable benefit.

  21. 33
    TheCourtOfPublicOpinion says:

    Ahh the Telegraph … now that *is* a name from the past…

    • 52
      Bliar the Liar his pants are inflammable says:

      like the expenses scandal

      who even remembers that minor story anymore ?

    • 54
      Jethro says:

      Yes, but ,somehow, The Daily Telegram (and Morning Letters*) doesn’t sound quite, well, quite, now does it?
      (* for even older readers/bloggers/…)

    • 62

      The modern networking equivalents would be…

      The Daily Packet,
      The Daily Frame
      The Daily Stream

      all of while are dubious.

  22. 37

    How exactly are these newspapers going to make money in future and why aren’t the papers’ owners getting more annoyed about it? Rupert Murdoch was derided for suggesting that users pay to read articles in future, but at least he’s trying to confront the problem.

    • 49
      Moley says:

      What I want from the internet if I have to pay for news is the ability to purchase a package, just as I would with TV.

      F.T.
      D.T.
      Times.
      NYT
      Irish Independent.

      Would be a starting point.

      I would never want to lose the freedom to get my information from diverse sources.
      The BBC is excluded because I want information, not disinformation.

      • 64

        The BBC is only useful for keeping an eye on what the latest leftwing press release says.

      • 84
        MrsT says:

        Moley – scrub the DT from that list – it has been taken over by The Catholic Herald, and they have brought with them hypocricy, lack of ethics and breach of trust. Did I forget to mention hatred of their fellow man? They brought that too. Ask Damian Thompson about ‘Ma Pepinster’.

  23. 41
    Tim Knee-Scutcher says:

    Ssssh – don’t tell ‘er.

    Here’s the wifey in her pants and bellies. Watching her steam my upholstery. I love Cod!

  24. 45
    Fred Goodwin's Duck Palace says:

  25. 46
    billy furi says:

    If that old queen Stephen Fry likes Twitter, it must be crap. They’re all fucking narcissists.

  26. 57
    Trev says:

    FPT

    Why do you get your knickers in a twist – ? If I were an MP I would employ my wife. She would be very good. At least we would see each other. One issue and one issue only – getting the job done, yes without cheating – but why assume that employing a wife means cheating.

    I bet Pauline wished she had been employed as Prezzas diary secretary.

  27. 59
    bernard says:

    Guido

    Heard you on radio 4 this afternoon. So your blog costs £200/pm, but the adverts pay for it all and you make a decent income.
    Glad to hear it.
    Entirely agree with you about Murdock’s pay-as-you-read scheme. I also think it will backfire. ( I hope it will, is what I mean).

  28. 63
    nell says:

    What is twitter for?

    If you want to talk to your friends or your sisters (brothers if you’re a man) what better than to tie the phone up for hours on end in the evenings.

    Who do you talk to on twitter when you’re only allowed 140(?) characters per post?

    • 70
      Engineer says:

      Twitter is for making somebody a lot of money, and bemusing everybody else.

    • 81

      Big logical hole there. If you’re a man, the conversation will go along the lines of:
      “Which pub? Curry after? When?” over 100 characters left.

      I believe twitter isnt conversational though. you just broadcast the crap.
      ( Unless when you talk to friends its a bit like what you get from slightly deaf or senile old ladies, or teenage girls who think they are the centre of their little gang (I’m not accusing you personally of either), actually the latter is probably what twitter is for).

    • 82
      MrsT says:

      Twitter is for twits.

      And tits like Stephen Fry.

  29. 68
    Stephen says:

    Darlings! Loves!

    Watching a Wagnerian ring piece.

    Interesting choice of footwear his Lordship makes. Sublime!

  30. 71

    I use Twitter to give my Anglo-Saxon a good exercise. Other than that, I can see no use for the nonsense.

  31. 74
    Alan Duncan says:

    Why Great Britain and the United States must prevail in Afghanistan:

    http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/story?id=8474937

    • 77
      stilyagi_air_corps says:

      What? ForAfghan Botty parties? Is this the Kinky World War, or something? Somebody has to get a gri…
      Or perhaps not.

  32. 75

    I don’t use shitter, or faecesbook, they are for turdheads.

  33. 80

    I tried to get on with Twitter, but I don’t know. Maybe I’ll try again, later.

  34. 87
    Jimmy says:

    Perhaps guido can offer a tutorial. For example, how to delete tweets that you later wish to deny.

  35. 88
    Tubb says:

    ……’if you want to message ‘…..verbing a noun! Yuk!

  36. 94
    MoronNo2 says:

    Twitter is a tool used by vicious gossips, brain dead trolls and egotistical loons, like fatty two jags.

    Using Twitter says more about you than anything you say on it.



Another Twittish Tweet from Kerry McCarthy | BBC 
What’s the Point of Our Anti-Business Secretary? | Ruth Porter
HuffPo Hiring Pro-Iranian Mehdi “Act of Desperation” | Fox News
Krugman is Seductive, Simplistic and Unrealistic | Jeremy Warner
Lower Taxes, Higher Growth, the Statistical Evidence | CPS
Bash the Unions, Gatecrash the Quangos | ConservativeHome
I Told You So: Euro is Doomed | Douglas Carswell
PM Speaks for the Nation When Bashing Balls | Quentin Letts
Time for an Alliance | Dan Hannan
Farage’s Plan | ConservativeHome
Guardian Open News is a Failure | Heather Brooke
Balls Calls for Deeper Cuts | Speccie
Lessons from the Thirties | CPS
PMQs Idiots | Harry Cole
Jon Cruddas is Not the Messiah | Dan Hodges

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