Friday Caption Contest (Backhander Edition)
Piers Morgan is a Tory – Fraser Nelson
The Bunker Bod Funded Entirely by Unite – Standard
Welcome to the e-Election – John Harris
Mad Nad: Declaring War on Scantily Clad Women - Devil’s Kitchen
Cameroon Cliquishness is a Weakness – Matthew Norman
Youth Crime Stats Suppressed Until After Election – Indy
Factcheck: Labour Sure-Start Spin Untrue – Cathy Newman
Bercow Loses his Rag in Chamber – Paul Waugh
Cameron Casts Himself as Obama – Political Scrapbook
Brussels Attacks Darling Deficit Plan – FT
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Michael Gove said…
“There can be few more powerful forces of conservatism opposed to the flexibility, freedom and choice of the post-bureaucratic age than the Whelanist tendency now in control of the Labour party.”
+ Crude (June)
As of 16 Mar 2010
-Gilts (Mar)
As of 26 Feb 2010
Flat – No Positions
As of 23 Feb 2010 +30.81%
Is this how the women against gordon group started ?
…so THAT’s where my porn vids went!
SLAP!
Take that you cun-
“Hi Guys and Gels… It’s true… I really am not quie the ticket… My friend Lord Voldemort-Mandelpratt has allowed me out today…. I can confirm that I am suffering from acute delusions of grandeur and Big-shotism… and I’m on various medications to keep me from falling apart….
“Oh, by the way…. “Cluck! Cluck! Cluck!”….. It’s an an insult to Picnics to say that I’m not quite the Sandwich!
(all alleged of course… what a nice man!)
It was this big!
SLAP MY BITCH UP!
When I asked for a backhander I was hoping for a brown envelope not a Brown karate chop.
very good.
Shut up you silly cow!
i told you no feckin cheese sandwiches
Guido Launches “Spot the Nokia” Competition
could be a nice little earner Sir
To Mike Hunt,
Yo brother
I say Mike and Issac, what ho.
Show the IP numbers on posts then we might believe what you say, Mr Slight-of-Hand
Ignore this knob-head, Guido. He can’t even spell.
They’re called ip *addresses*, muppet.
If you do one thing, block this plonker’s IP address
you failed to answer my question speedo.
do you think that the pamphleteers who ridiculed the french monarchy should have published their names and addresses on the pamphlets they wrote traducing the french royals.
answer the question.
Jeremy Beadle was Mr Slight-of-Hand.
I think you mean Sleight-of-Hand.
‘We know where you live.’
You obviously know nothing about the Internet. I’m afraid an individual IP address is not associated with an individual user. The record industry makes that mistake every day. Also, have you never heard of proxies?
Wish you were isolated in your own subnet, Spaedo – you’re getting very boring.
It is important that we discuss the agenda at the G20 summit. This is a summit which needs to listen to the concerns of women as well as men, to spread equality throughout the workplace and is crying out to hear women’s voices as well as men’s.
We are fed up of the country’s resources being ploughed into Trident renewal and weapons of mass destruction made by men.
Women’s voices – our voices – must be heard at the G20 summit through widespread discussions about women and the global economic down turn.
It is not just about bankers and ministers meeting to discuss the economy. It should include representations from the Town’s Women’s Guild, women trade unionists, women MPs and councillors, and the Fawcett Society to discuss the downturn.
This is a discussion amongst women across different parts of the world too. It was discussed at the Gender equality Committee of the European Parliament. Women are linking hands across the whole world at this time.
Even as we speak gender issues are going straight to the top of the agenda at the Commission for the Status of women in New York at the UN and ahead of that the Government Equality Office met with NGOs.
It is high time the G20 summit understood that we are not just window-dressing.
You could make the tea for the men busily working away at the summit.
And the place will need cleaning as well.
Mr Fawkes it seems we have a Troll here and on the last thread
but YOU are a troll you silly fool.
Oh, you must be the thread policeman we all elected.
If so, get yourself a moniker that involves a bit more imagination than puerile misogyny.
Also consider a penile prosthesis.
Cocksucker
yes, you can consider me to be the blog police. I have no idea where you come from you silly old cow but we do not vote for the police in this country.
and if I have any more backchat from you I will bash your brains in.
you are new, that is the only reason you have been given any warning.
ps I am not gay and your name is andrea so that means you are the cocksucker, innit?
I think she was addressing Mike. Keep your hair on, tat, otherwise you might have to borrow some of Andrea’s.
collateral damage is unavoidable I am sorry to say.
bit like dropping bombs on Afghan weddings.
I make no apology if innocent civilians get caught in the cross-fire.
after all, no blood has been spilt, eh?
Do you swallow or spit me dear.
Also have you noticed when making love the man is domiant, although I guess you have only ever had sexual relations with family who treated you with kid gloves.
Parody? Comedy? You are havin’ a larf, inchya?
You’ll get nowhere pushing women’s issues on this blog. More misogynists here than you could shake a stick at. In any case, it’s the caption contest you’ve butted in on – check above.
Good thing when women are more like men, and men are more like women. And overall, humans are more like dogs – not the crazy type.
I agree in principle, nevertheless with the thrust of your argument HH.
Hands off, she’s mine. Hilde my dove, let us toil and moil together and unchain the burning loins of Lesbos. Strewth, not ‘arf. And no boys, you can’t film it.
MISOGYNIST, just pointing out, ( in an ever so humble way), is the correct spelling for misogynist.
The above to the highly opinionated, but generally literate Jgm2.
I think the key phrase here is ‘weapons of mass destruction made by men’.
Yes we did make them, just as we’ve designed and built every significant invention in the last 200 years.
Let’s look at your normal day shall we…….
Get up in the morning – take a shower (designed by a man, built in a factory by a man. If it breaks , it will probably be fixed by a man)
Get dressed, (wearing clothes woven on a machine designed and built by a man)
Drive to work (In a car designed and built by ….yes you’ve guessed it)
So you think you be given a voice at the G20, go ahead, but being as since your emancipatiion, you have basically contributed fuck-all to modern society other than giving birth to the men who have, I suggest you have a think about what you can actually contribute to the discussion.
Twelve years of government under our belt and the prospect of a fourth term within our reach.
What now, sisters?
And as the recent debate at the Gender Equality Committee of the European Parliament has shown, we’ve lost none of our passion for politics, or our burning desire for social justice and fair play.
We – women – will build the houses that people want, so there are affordable homes for the many not just the few, as Yvette will set out in no uncertain terms at the G20 summit.
We need more powers to local councils, and enable councillors to be true champions of their neighbourhoods.
Women councillors, juggling home, family, the workplace and local government as they do, are the bedrock of our democracy.
Motivated by public service. In tune with communities.
None of the things we value the most would ever have been delivered by market forces driven by men – Men! – not the public parks, or clean water, or the city squares, or the public works of art, or the public transport systems, or the museums and art galleries.
The great public services, buildings and spaces are expressions of the democratic will, made real by local councils and women Labour councillors.
Our women Labour councillors are the bedrock of all that’s best about Labour.
Complete troll. Posted by Labour trolls to elicit some quality mysogenist put-downs so they can get into a swoon about how nasty, right wing, racist and sexist Guido’s contributors are.
Useless fuckers.
‘Ere, I’ve got one for you useless c-unts – why don’t you stop wrecking the fucking country eh? Just give it a break. Ideally for another 50 years or so.
jgm2 – Some focused sampling would have led you to the following.
Harriet Harman’s speech to the Scottish Convention of Women:
http://www.harrietharman.org/uploads/abad41c6-2e26-2f94-2912-f7267a02534a.doc
Harriet’s “wimmin” count, once she gets up a head of steam, really is about one word in 2.5.
153 Comradeviad:
You are bang on, mate. Great posting which really hits the nail on the head and puts the feminazis in their proper place.
Women are basically only any use for giving birth to men. If anyone doubts that simple fact, then ask yourself why the Chinese have done so well in the last 20 years from killing off most of their female babies shortly after birth and only rearing boys. Simple.
Innit.
you sound like a mother’s boy.
but what did mother do to make you hate her so?
ah, the beatings; she beat you did she?
shame she didn’t beat you harder, you might have knocked some sense into you, you cretin.
innit.
let’s get it right: woman are grrrrrrreaat!!!!
and lesbian women are first class!
so says top boy.
Hope you don’t mind me agreeing with you tat, but you hit it in one. Thanks.
In Oxford in 1969, we in our College, drunk on Port and stuff one evening (actally in was about 02.15 am by then), once had a large debate about the sexuality of intellectual creativity.
You can guess the resultant conclusions.
The problem of Good and Evil enteres the calculation because of socialist philosphies. It is a pity that men created these as well as all the good they have brought to billions.
Top Boy, you’ve obviously never seen any real lesbians. They’re obviously not what you imagine them to be. Let me tell you, I have – and it ain’t a pretty sight.
Women in the window dressing, eh. Great! Where.
Amsterdam?
Put your knickers on and make us a cup of tea luv
Put the Kettle on Love and get yer nickers off !!!
and get the PG-TITS out
No-one wants to hear your views you stupid feminazi bitch and we certainly don’t want to be paying for more women’s rights crap through our taxes. It is high time that women put their hands in their pockets and paid their own way instead of relying on us men or is it that equality only works one way?
Try turning on the tears love ,it usually works!
Get back in the kitchen and make yourself useful.
can you make some sandwiches as well
Brilliant, brilliant, simply brilliant.
Bets caption ever, take your prize and now get lost.
I claim the prize.
It is in her mouth as women tend to close their eyes when something big enters their mouth!
Who told you that, inchdick?
Chris Gollumore
“Who told you that, inchdick?”
Your wife; she relates her experiences of being drilled by a train of guys constantly.
You can read her experiences on any toilet door in Milngavie.
But bring a torch as the bit at the bottom of the doors are usually poor lit.
Drove along the embankment this afternoon just as Brown was being cavalcaded back to his safe area. When the various swarms of black cab drivers saw who was in the Jaguar, surrounded front and back by Stasi Rangerovers, they were mostly all making the sort of hand gestures that Mandelson makes to his catamite Reinaldo and mouthing ‘you wanker’ at him.
Smack ma beetch!
Sorry, I thought you were Harmann…..
Get out of my life.
Not quite what Blair meant when he referred to the ‘big clunking fist’
No really, it’s as big as this with Balls
Let’s play “Silvio’s Dick” one more time!
http://up2.it/anony/browncock.jpg
I realise that it’s not a bad paint competition, but I felt my previous effort was too rude and uncouth, so here they are innocently stroking a unicorn
http://up2.it/anony/browncharlie.jpg
Da na call me a one eyed fat gay boy again.
no, you are a twat.
Obama is number one.
GO OBAMA!
NATIONAL HEALTHCARE SUPERB
PEACE IN PALESTINE AND ISRAEL EXCELLENT
THIS GUY IS BETTER THAN JFK FFS!
Tat,
Obama hasn’t actually delivered on any of his fancy promises yet. Don’t be surprised if he never does, either. Politicians are professional liars.
Tat (rhymes with twat, not coincidentally),
Obama and his administration are unravelling before our eyes almost as quickly as Wee Gordy and his Nulabour comic opera. That’s what happens when a politician is sold to the electorate like so much groceries. Basically, Obama is all packet and no contents.
and hard evidence coming out now about yet more of his “czars” – the stuff on Van Jones is dynamite. The tactic right now from the White House is to ignore Fox news and the blogs – this is a tactic that will ultimatley fail.
I came, I saw, I cocked up.
We’ll show Boris how to play wiff waff , ehh Hariett!
GB – Don’t call me a hoon Harman. I may look like one but you certainly are one.
It’s Tessa Jowell you hoon
……and that’s for going over budget on the Olympics!
And THAT’s for getting caught in the Ecclestone row!
And THIS is for arse lickin’ Tony!!
And THAT’S for not reading your fucking mortgage form!
And THAT’s for copying me by having a sham marriage!
And THAT’S for compounding the insult by having a sham seperation!
Blind and smelly
“Women faint en masse as virile glorious leader returns from his dangerous secret mission in Afghanistan”
It doesn’t need a caption. I can’t stop laughing long enough to think of one.
I’m with you.
I wonder if she ever found her teeth again after that cuff up the back of her heed
Tosser whacks Tessa.
Tessa was overcome by the smell of “raw power” emanating from Gordon’s Armpits
Pah! Beat me to it.
EXCLUSIVE: Brown finally exerts his authority… unfortunately two years late.
“And THAT’S what I’d do to David Cameron if I met him in a live TV debate!”
The reality is funnier than any caption.(Apart from ’spending our way out of recession’,of course).
*Thwack*
THE MOST POPULAR THING GORDON BROWN HAS EVER DONE
“Shut the fuck up, bitch; I’m talking!”
Crikey! Scouse wash again this morning, was it Gordon?
Gordon faces his critics
Honestly Harriet,it’s this big!
what on earth have you been eating woman !! ??
‘MY bum looks fine in everything,you cow.’
“Harriet – any mair o’ that equality nonsense and ye’ll get a wee taste of whit Tessa’s just had. Naa fetch ma tea, wumman!”
“No one in-between
How can we be wrong
Sail away with me to another world
And we rely on each other
Ah-ah
From one lover to another
Ah-ah”
….and when erect it is this big
Fuck off bitch I dont do women
“My sh*t does not stink, Bitch”
whoops forgot to put my name, see 40
your corrupt relationship with Libya – STINKS
SCOTLAND – STINKS
New Labour – STINKS
MP’s allowance’s – STINK
and your armpit – STINKS
“My sh*t does not stink, bitch”
Tessa and Gordon visit Invisible Fireman’s Pole Factory….
Tessa Jowell takes Olympic backhander.
Win.
Arf!
Very good
‘Just waving,…….not drowning’. apologies to Stevie Smith.
Gordon tries out feminism, Silvio-style…
Gordon demonstrates what we are fighting for in Afghanistan.
48. Like it! ;)
Wait your turn Harridan, Jacqui’s on her knees doing it the proper way !
GB – “You see Tessa, It’s all in the wrist action…”
TJ – “Oh, that’s why your such a tosser then!!”
‘Smell that, Bitch? Smell it? That’s the smell of success baby, man’s success. Right, where’s that other useless bitch Flint?’
Waft !! Waft!! Smell my Mandleson
Brown denies all culpability for ‘behind the hand’ attacks.
Gordon what will Obama do now you have nicked all his mannerisms
BREAKING NEWS
Gordon Brown gives his reaction to calls for an immediate General Election
“Talk to the hand because I’m not listening”
The Labour Party Theatre Group presents “Up Pompeii!!” , starring Gordon Brown as Lurcio and Harriet Harman as Ludicrus Sextus.
It’s not Harriet – I think it’s Tessa.
Though to be fair to you Flint, they are two cheeks from the same arse…
mmmm harriet’s cheeks
“That’s how you slap the monkey!”
‘My horse! My Horse! My Kingdom for a Horse! ………. there, that’s just for starters, ye bitch!.’ (apologies to Shakespeare).
Gordon’s cabinet meeting at the Olympic games building site caught giving and receiving backhanders
“Sorry, Tessa, someone shouted “slapper”.”
Get back in the kitchen before I bring your weekly thrashing forward
“Bring me sunnnshine…”
LMAO Frank – you got there before me ;o)
I’ll just have to go with:
“With an airy wave, the Sunk King rejected Tessa’s plan for Lord Fondlebum to open the Olympics”
Reminds me of this lolcat here (which always makes me smile): http://nqr.thesmallprint.org/d/4907-1/whore-mouth.jpg
“See, I am owrwrw[random jaw drop] in touch with youth. *smack ma bitch up* owrwrwr”
And if you were my wife and questioned how I paid off the mortgage, that’s what you’d get.
I put my hand up it was me that Farted.
you can do better than that mate (another old Rock Ape)
Tessa Jowell Arghhh is that underarm deodorant the sweat smell of success Gordon or did you use the Harman Hairspray by mistake again, you useless Scottish twat
Miss, Gordon wants to be excused.
…again.
Executed would be better.
Brown smites dissent
Ah’m far tae frightened o’ Clarkson tae take him on, but I saw ye winking Harman and I ken whit ye meant!
After some lessons from his American brother Chris, Gordon displays his new approach to criticism.
take a kiss of my ring biatch
I never wanted to be a lying failure, I always wanted to be a ballerina but mother wouldn’t let me because everyone in the village would have found out I was a poofter.
The end of all things is at hand.
An off-the-cuff remark may have repercussions!
I’m so sorry, she’s from Barcelona.
ENO’s modern-dress Tristan and Isolde featured singers of unparalleled ability.
A’hm a wee tea pot, short and stoot, another nine months and I’ll be oot
lol
Now that’s the way to do it!
That’s for dropping Silvio in it.
X Factor judged not impressed by piss-poor Morrissey impersonator
“Hang the PM, hang the PM, hang the PM”
Gordon in a coma I know, I know – its good news
I would gae oot the neet, but I dinna have the body armour to wear
“Now give me the bad news”
In the early days, the Krankies relied more on slapstick.
Aye … and then he bit wee Parky’s knackers off and fell off the fookin roof mendin’ his ariel. . . Rod Hull, a tell ye, fookin genius . . .
looking from both perspectives, this is a bitch slap.
Shaddap Byatch
Tessa says “Gordon – get some deoderant! Your armpits stink as much as your policies!”
Gorn: “And this is how butch Jocks toss a caber…”
Tessa: Shouldn’t that be, caber a tosser?
Whilst Gordon conducts, Harriet blows her own trumpet.
Like a baby’s forearm is that wee Mandleson!
“..and if you ever do meet Daniel Hannan, give ‘im this from me!”
Facking Olympic games…. You said that you’d get me the job of lighting the trough.
See Gordon you never listen, I said “You’d never be liken to being a Toff”
Besides, Seb says Go to ticket master like every other fecker, only the Tories are likely to get any olympic freebee’s
GB “You what!! You are going to the 2012 games with Cameron and not me?”
Jowell: “Peter, don’t jerk so hard – you’ve broken the string on the puppet’s left arm.”
Gordon: ” Who wants to pull my finger “.
Tessa: ” No thanks one early release this week has been quite enough “.
Brown relives his hero Michelangelo’s pitch for the job of painting the ceiling in the Sistine Chapel, but the result is strangely reminiscent of Il Duce.
“Look Jacqui love, I get you’re a feminist and that’s great. But this is grown-up time and I’m the man. Now get your jackboots into the kitchen and get me a sandwich bitch!”
”To be, or not to be, ……… in Afghanistan,…… that is the question!’
‘Out Out Damn Slut!’
Lol contessa – but a bit highbrow for most of the folks here ;o)
I see Gordo more as Lear, myself, so:
“Come not between the Scotchman and his broth”,
or (without need for change)
“You see me here, you gods, a poor old man,
As full of grief as age; wretched in both.”
perhaps?
I see Gordon more as a complete wanker. I know it isn’t funny but it does have the benefit of being true.
And if you think I have run out of phones to throw, think again…
I alone saved the world, darling.
Ditching you and your sleazy hubby
was integral to it. Tough cookie.
One old queen emulates another.
Want a smell? “Eau de Fear”.
One of the many free things I get with the job.
GB- What do you mean there’s gonna be no winners medals? Bitch, take that!
TJ- Don’t you remember Gordon, sob, you got rid of the gold…Anyway Ed has a cunning plan, we issue everybody with a tin of oil, that were part of that joblot we got from Gaddaffi
I’m a card carrying lefty, a swipe card. My MPs get the lucrative backhanders here.
Nurse, I don’t think you were supposed to inject the viagra into his arm.
Out here in the jungle, dear Tessa, nature makes its own laws.
I am a man.
And you … are a woman.
Listen, twát, if I tell you black is white, black is furkin white, gettit?
Ach, Tessa hen, ah’ve always had the hots for ye!
Hoo aboot ah gi’ ye a wee serenade?
“Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay!
Alas! I am very sorry to say
That ninety lives have been taken away
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember’d for a very long time…”
(Death rattle. Thud.)
‘Just think, under an Islamic theocracy this will actually be encouraged!’
+_+_+_+_+_+_+ He’s singing… +_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_
When I goo oot, I drink ten pints and I get rather plastered,
Then I go home and beat ma wife, cause I’m a Scottish bastard!
Very good.
Best one yet!
But, soft! methinks I scent the morning air.
Hamlet, 1. 5
GB: “What do you mean Gaddafi will be attending the London Olympics as a VIP and country leader and I won’t?”
Well alright!
Get thee to a women’s refuge, wench
I never said you were that close to mandy in the old days.
No, really, I was *this* far up Mandy’s arse.
The gorgon practises ten pin bowling to impress Tess o’ the ‘lympicvilles.
Fer fooks sake woman, sort yourself out, or those gypsies who you evicted from here will be camping in your garden.
Feeling suitably empowered Gordon then downloaded Missy Elliott’s “Is That Yo Bitch?” on to his Nokia.
Although a fan of scottish country dancing,Tessa was not overly impressed by his demonstration of the Gay Gordons
“If I’m not a complete and utter fruitcake then what am I????!!!!! ………. I WANT ANSWERS…. NOW!!!
Gordon Brown – the Saturday Night Fever years.
Political pas de deux,…… in rehearsal.
Get me a deep-fried mars bar and be quick about it ya sasanach sow
“One of these days… one of these days… POW! Right in the kisser!”
(With apologies to Jackie Gleason / The Honeymooners.)
Gordon’s impromptu ‘Strip The Willow’ gave all the ladies an attack of the vapours.
GB: “Smell my fingers bitch”
TJ: “Ewww you smell worse than those fuckin gypos”
“Who told you you could leave the kitchen?”
“beating a dead horse” is no longer politically correct after the RSPCA complained … from now on it will be replaced with the term “bitch slapping a useless MP”
Tessa: Ooooo, suit you sir!
Cancel this bitch, I’m gonna buy me a new one!
“Quick Tessa, you need to wind me up at the back..”
No, no. You have to lay out the cabinet papers in alphabetical order you idiot!
Just heard this fat one eyed retarded jock tool wanking on about Afghanistan (why is it he has no charisma at all? he just reels of lists of numbers like a fucking accountant) and who the fuck is ALKY ADA? Is it some long lost drunk Aunt?
The BBC bum bandits used to take the piss out of Bush for not being able to say “nuclear” correctly, yet the one eyed cretin from the north can’t pronounce the same of the biggest terrorist group without sounding like a fucking tool.
Gordon Brown delivers backhander to Tessa Jowell proclaiming;
“don’t talk to me bitch”!
Gordon and Tessa audition for the remake of Saturday Night Fever
Tessa Jowell reels as smell of Gordon Brown’s unwashed armpit chokes her!
“… and that’s for wearing the wife’s clothes again Mandy!”
Gordon attempts to do the ‘YMCA’ dance but manages to even f**k that up.
Don’t get too close – you are unclean. I only put up women so I can’t be called sexist – or gay.
I’ll show them whether or not I’m a coward.
….smack……….only Peter gets to kiss my ring
Labour gain 10 points after Gordon Brown smacks Tessa Jowell in the face.
‘After I kick Harman in the cu*t the elections as good as mine’,
He said to a shocked but quite pleased audiance.
I liked that one, well done sir.
Yes that is funny, but we should consider the Health and Safety aspects of our great leader undertaking such a course of action – what would happen if he fell in?
Gordon realises that his anti-perspirant’s claim to offer long-lasting protection was as reliable as a Snatch Land Rover in Afghanistan.
From the archives Sept.4th 1954, Opera Rehearsal, …. famous Scottish
director Gordon James Gorgonzola directs member of female cast…….
Gordon Brown reveals how deep UK soldiers put him septic tank while in Afghanistan.
Gordon Brown starts to dance highland jig but is reminded that he is attending a funeral.
Gordon Brown bitch slaps Tessa Jowell for ten minutes citing pesky fly.
Last time I did this, she didn’t get up.
“Do you really expect me to believe that your Quantitative Easing is that big Gordon?”
Gordon Brown speaks on budget government savings plans as he introduces open plan toilets in offices to cut down on walking times to bathrooms.
You use walk up to where two walls meet he cries out.
Put your teeth in, George.
The Great Leader demonstrates the new Party salute
Tragically Gordon’s 39th re-launch was doomed when Peter’s normally reliable remote audio instructions were garbled in transmission with “now sack that cack-handed slapper” becoming “attack with a backhand, just slap her”…
Shopper badly startled as M&S Manekin falls over
did I win it this week Guido?
we could consider the prize a late birthday present.
Tessa: “You’re gay?”
Gordon: “That’s right, I’m a bloody shirtlifter”
Audience: “Oh….If you’re gay and a gordon, lift your shirt” Clap! Clap!
“Ripped my balls on a barbed wire fence DOO-DAH , DOO-DAH”
Yer question mah leadership agin, and next time ya’ll git a glasgee kiss ya uppity ‘do as ah say’, southern twat yer.
Gordon responds as all scotsmen do when they are full of Courage
“Iron my shit, woman!”
He is a fucking weirdo, we can all agree on that, but im not sure he’s quite that weird.
Can i join in?
Oops! An amusing, yet unintended error – I meant “Iron my SHIRT, woman”
I like the original best. It’s more like something “Brown” would say.
And I said to Muammar, “No, I am THIS deep in the shit”
No more cheek by Jowell!
Very good.
Brown’s Political Vision works as well a his peripheral vision.
weak.
Spot on if he could see the rudy spot….
RUDDY!!
I like it
Tat’s a zanulab wanker
Gertcha!
Gordon’s going for the Eastender vote.
Time was not kind on the Karate Kid….
After 2 years as PM, Brown eventually ‘does the right thing’.
I wasen’t winking at you bitch
Don’t creep up on my blind side bitch!
Did I say you could speak?
Hands up if you think your a tosspot
Gordon: “I’ve quit. I’ve had enough of this job. I’m going back to Scotland”
Tessa: “You’ve lied about everything else, how do we know you’re now telling the truth?”
Fair fa’ yer honest sonsie face
Great chieftain o’ the puddin race!
Fair fa’ yer honest sonsie face
Great chieftain o’ the puddin race!
Weel are ye worthy o’ a grace
as lang’s ma arm
“DON’T mention the war, bitch”
McBust shows his appreciation of another window-dresser.
Now, when he’s nice and bent over, I spank him . . . thus!
Not that you’d appreciate the finer points missus!
On returning from Tripoli Gordon displays his new found affection for Libyian Hygiene.
It is a well known phenomenon that a former partner of a common criminal is often attracted to another abusive partner and thus the cycle continues.
By the way how is the money laundering investigation going Tessa , have the Police seized your assets yet ?
SMACK! ”Don’t you EVER suggest I don’t respect
my female ministers AGAIN! You stupid BITCH!”
Take that you pesky shrew!
Take THAT, you mingeing cow.
Gordon’s nightclasses at “The Ike Turner School of Relationship Management” were really beginning to pay dividends.
lol
Where is my fucking medication Harman!!!!
I need my anti depressants,i NEED MY ANTI DEPRESSANTS!!!!
Never ever mention the name Eric Joyce infront of me again , now get back to knitting me some usefull spin , you uselass sasonac
Take That You Tory Bitch !
dont tell me what to do woman!!!!!!!! im the boss of everything. this clegg lad thinks women deserve rights . HA HA!!! Back to the kitchen
Would All Those Responsable For Letting The Lybian Terrorist Go Please Raise Their Hand !
Would You Care To Make A donation To Our Childrens Charity Mr Brown ? Out Of My Way You Sponging Old Crone !
This is my tribute to Michael Jackson.
“This is my tribute to Michael Jackson”
A scene from “Blunderbirds”, one of Gerry Anderson’s lesser-know series.
Madam Tussards reopens Chamber of Horrors.
Smack up ma biatch
‘Shit, sorry Tessa, I missed my balls’
“I’m a little teapot,
short and stout,
here’s my handle,
and pour me out.”
“I want you to start saluting me like this.”
Wumman – know yer place – away tae the kitchen an’ get the kettle on.
Thats boo…..not body odour!
No made up caption – just the plea to remove this piece of shit from our newspapers and TV sets,as well as his position as the worst Prime Minister in history – he is the most depressing git to have to look at – get rid of him NOW.
Stab Stab Twist Kill Stab
Gieves and Hawkes reveal new dummy.
tae think again…
YOO! HOO ! Peter Love I’m Over Here !
Worzel Gummidge Cuffs Aunt Sally !
Waving … and drowning.
Where’s that rocking horse when you need it?
Think I should have gone to SpAdSavers.
Was that a boundary or a six?
Gordon rearranges the window dressing
I Hit You Because” It’s The Right Thing To Do !” Where As The Do Nothing Tories Would Have Just Walked Past And Done Nothing !
Bitchslap!
And quite right, too… I don’t agree with violence against women but ZanuLiebore Wimmin are the exceptions…..
Maybe she knicked his happy pills….
This his comment just after the one-eyed-cuant had been wanking in the bogs over pictures of Kathryn Blair aborting her brother (after sticking a coat-hanger up her syphilitic hole while Cherie was whipping her tits shouting ’slag’).
“See, I can flick spunk into your mouth from 5 feet you retarded ho.”
“This is what I dream of doing. If only I had the courage”
I’ve got the courage, I just can’t get past security.
In breaking news The BBC reports that Tessa Jowell walked into a door.
…….and that her husband the convicted thief is innocent though nobody believed that part of the report
GB “Tessa.. can anyone see Mandleson working me from behind?”
TJ ” NNNoooooooooo”
PM (hidden) “Love the Pearl Necklace”
Mention Tony again and ypu’ll get another one.
And no sooner had the slimey toad left me when, suddenly, “POOF!” there was another one crawling up my arse!!
I said ringtone …not ring TONE
Gordon Brown´s first ever catwalk modelling assignment ended in tragedy today when his trademark flamboyant twirl went horribly wrong.
I am Gordon, hear me roar!
Harriet and you are a pair of bitches!
PM is scared to lead his army into battle, PM is scared to face Eurocrats down, PM scared to keep convicted terrorists in Jail, PM scared to face up to his administrations mistakes. PM finally summons up courage and strikes woman. Labour Party and Media confirm he is man of courage and integrity.
I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche,scaramouche will you do the fandango-
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me-
Galileo,galileo,
Galileo galileo
Galileo figaro-magnifico-
But Im just a poor boy and nobody loves me-
Hes just a poor boy from a poor family-
Spare him his life from this monstrosity-
Easy come easy go-,will you let me go-
Bismillah! no-,we will not let you go-let him go-
Bismillah! we will not let you go-let him go
Bismillah! we will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go let me go
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
Mama mia,mama mia,mama mia let me go-
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,for me,for me
Substitute “Gordon gay-o” for “Galileo”
Phew, what a stinker.
Gordon: I ended boom and bust
Tessa: You’ve just boomed me and now my nose is bust
Not an entry in the competition, but go have a look at Old Holborn – http://bastardoldholborn.blogspot.com/2009/09/sick-man-of-europe.html – quoting Not Born Yesterday – http://www.notbornyesterday.org/brownhealth.htm –
Anyone know if its true?
The axila of evil
like it !
EVERYBODY: Hold A Chicken In The Air Stick A Deckchair Up Your Nose
Buy A Jumbo Jet And Then Bury All Your Clothes
Paint Your Left Knee Green Then Extract Your Wisdom Teeth
Form A String Quartet And Pretend Your Name Is Keith
Skin Yourself Alive Learn To Speak Arapahoe
Climb Inside A dogAnd Behead An Eskimo
Eat A Renault Four With Salami In Your Ears
Casserole Your Gran Disembowl Yourself With Spears
AND I TRULY BELIEVE IF WE FOLLOW THESE FEW SIMPLE STEPS IT WILL BRING US OUT OF RECESSION !
[...] Friday Caption Contest (Backhander Edition) [...]
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? !
Guess who forgot his Right Guard deodorant…….
“You snore once more Harriet and I’ll really wallop you.”
Tessa Jowell – “I know you only have one eye Gordon, but I’m Tessa not Harriet. Harriet is the Minister for Women and Equality, GOT IT. Not only that WE SNORE DIFFERENTLY”
Gordon unleashes his six foot, needle-thin willy for Harriet to chew on!
I fucking told you once!!!!
In the background is that Harriet’s set of golf clubs with a Miliband-like cover for the driver?
Harperson and Winky do an impression of a flange of baboons because it’s the only way they can communicate with each other.
McBonkers is surprised by Blackadder in a Nu Zebra costume
Fuckin hell Gordon buy some deoderant
Take that – and don’t you ever mention Megrahi around me again.
“So it was you who told the caterers not to serve me cheese, Chianti and over-ripe avocados, now every man and his dog knows that I am majorly depressed.”
http://www.thefirstpost.co.uk/53143,news,the-mole-gordon-brown-on-drugs-to-control-depression-poor-health-rumours
I use Rexona and I will continue to do so , you rude bitch.
“Follow my lead,” I said to Karzai: “women hold up half the sky.”
FWIW… bandersnatch votes for English Viking’s effort at 297 :-D
“I hope I can rely on your vote, bitch!”
Gordon sings Buck’s Fizz with his dolly bird Tessa…”don’t let your indecision take you from behind…you’re making your mind up!”
“Don’t you wave your arm at me you queer Hoon!”
‘When I let one go, I let one go! Just like this.’
Gordon Brown demonstrates the Govan Flamenco
Just thank your lucky stars it wasna a wasnee a glasgow kiss tessa
How’s this for a Benny Hill impression?
“Yes I did.”
“No you didn’t.”
“Yes I did!”
Government ministers practice for their show “I Am The Very Model of a Modern Prime Minister” at the forthcoming Labour Party conference.
‘When I said more Lynx Gordon, I meant helicopters’.
“She was imprudent, Tessa. you know how I hate imprudence.”
Down, window dressing, down!
No, no, no, I won’t go to bed nanny, I’m a big boy now! I’m Prime Mentalist so there!
Make way harridan
*thwack*
the velveteen Queen of parsnips is on la promenade
~pirouettes~
Peter says i’m not fat i’m ample
je suis Belgium
quack
Tak the hairy side of the hand bitch
Allow me to waft my Libyan foreign policy over.
The Cabinet are advised to take up tai-chi and breathing exercises
Half a million battered women in England….. and Im still eating mine plain! take that!
Well in the absence of my prize of an XL guido tee shirt here is our glorious leader swinging his arms about again!