Friday Caption Competition
Pub Landlord Thanks Donors – Mail
Vanity Fair Profile of Cameron – Michael Wolff
Dave Styles Hair on Sky News – Political Scrapbook
Dept. for Business Venture Capital Fund Loses 93% – FT
Whelan Vs. Ashcroft – Rachel Sylvester
Guardian’s Interest in Tory Defeat – Marc Henri Glendenning
Depoliticise the NHS – Helen Evans
Mandy Still Not Answering the Question – Tom Bradby
Prescott Curses Second Restaurant – Mandrake
Ashcroft’s Plans for Online Media Empire – Guardian
Bloggers Banned from Council Reporting – Guardian
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Ed Balls admitted to being wrong to Michael Gove…
“Following our exchange in the House yesterday I have now had an opportunity to look in detail at the figures you quote and I can confirm that they are, on this occasion, correct.”
-Gilts (Mar)
As of 26 Feb 2010
Flat – No Positions
As of 23 Feb 2010 +30.81%
-Gilts (Mar)
As of 19 Feb 2010 +20.13%
A terrorist for some oil gordon ? No problem me and mandy signed it months ago
I assume this is the Microsoft photoshopped version and Gordon is meeting the Mayor of Baltimore in reality to discuss Chris Grayling
Which one is the Prime minister. I hope it aint them shoes
Dear Colonel. I am in a bit of a jam. Can you please help me to make those SNP lot look like a lot of Terrorist loving liberals. Well this is what you can do to help. We will then help you to extract a few more Billion barrels as I will give BP the Nod. Yes Billy Piper I meant.
You don’t want the Yanks as we all know what they are like, They blow something up then torture a few people to admit it, then we won’t know where the fu-k we are.
Dear whogivesafuck, I’m a bit of a twat who believes everything Gordon and Tony told me about the Lockerbie atrocity and I’m too dumb to care that the UK relatives know Al-Megrahi didn’t do it. I’ll do what I can to help push the government line and avoid any embarrassing questions about the appeal and the trial.
I’ll also be pig ignorant about the fact that the yanks wanted him released and are busy drilling in the Libya with Exxon and Chevron. I’ll also be completely unaware that the US Embassy sent Macaskill a letter weeks ago saying they were fine with compassionate release. I’ll even be so fucking ignorant that I didn’t even know John McCain visited Gadaffi and praised him to the skies a couple of weeks ago as he lobbied for Oil in return for doing Gadaffi’s bidding.
porn film stars Bedouin Dover and Godin McCavity discuss their latest film
Indiana Mandlescum and the Raiders of the losened sphinchter
Shit. I thought you were Irish….
It is bad enough when people misspell “lose” as “loose” but even worse when they misspell “loosened” as “losend”, but I think HRR is on to something here!
typical gordon innit. one minute he says no more celebrity politics and the next minute he is sitting chatting to mickey rourke.
Semi-Finalists eye each other before final…
This year’s Biggest Hoon Competition looks to be a classic.
Nice one Guido…automatic editing and renaming, although “hoon” isn’t quite adequate for “rhymes with runt”
“My conkers are bigger than your conkers.”
1. So Mr Brown,what tips can you give me about running a dictatorship?
2. All we’re waiting for is Mugabe to appear & then we’ll have the Three Monkeys
Listen Gadaffi, I will tell you how a read dictator does things,
to start with you just lie to the public whist you oversee troughing
of public money.
“Wanna buy some pegs??? Where’s Dave?”
Gaddaffi ; dont look at me that way gordon i am straight
Gordon Who’s shit
Gaddaffi yours if you want it.
Hi everyone, I’m here….
Now Colonel, if you could give Megrahi the sort of reception I get that would be ideal.
Now Colonel, if you could give me the sort of reception Megrahi gets that would be ideal.
Mr Fawkes will there be a prize ?
you are new here aren’t you mike.
Only one more IRA sponsor to go now………
GB: Do you want to see my statement already prepared for Ted Kennedy’s death? I’ve had it ready for years.
Don’t worry, you’re not the mad dictator many people make you out to be.
but who said it ?
Therein lies the humour.
£3bn to repatriate him – sod off, you Jocks can have him for free
Having heard of McDoom’s curse, Gaddafi prepares to sprint from the room…
show me your chain of terror bagpipe man.
Gordon to Gadaffi:
Let me see if I understand this situation. On the one hand we have a nation training agents to destabilise the region by sending economic terrorists to neighbouring countries, infilitrating their governments and creating financial chaos and on the other hand we have Libya.
Colonel, you’re big tent is certainly more effective than mine
Draper gone, McBride Gone, third time lucky…..
“Send a washed and oiled boy to my tent immediately!”
“Just as soon as we have arranged Al-Megrahi’s release, Gordon.”
Gizza job
can’t spell your can I
Off Topic:
Nurses used to be described as “caring”, “wonderful”, and “angels”. Now, after 12 years of Labour governments, they are increasingly referred to as lazy, arrogant, uncaring, and even cruel.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1209573/The-harsh-truth-We-nurses-just-forgotten-care.html
So Colonel, you get your hair dye from Greenock……….
Sometimes you have to meet some pretty unpleasant people doing the job I do. Take the time I met the British Prime Minister…
Brown “So I’ll get a big backhander from BP, you’ll get Megrahi, and the dozy hoons of the SNP will get all the blame”
Gaddaffi (not speaking just thinking) O no I am doomed, Gordon is here, he’s making me look bad *toes curl upwards*
Brown (thinking) 5..4..3…2…1.. Smile — hold 100ms — serious look… “So Colonel, how’s Libya getting on these days? I hear that you are becoming a more and more credible country by the day.” (thinking) I will sort that out
Of these two unelected leaders, which one is popular and respected in his country?
I wanted to ask. How did you manage to stay as the unelected leader of the country for 40 years… I’ve only been doing it for two, and i’m barely hanging on..
Gb: I’ve always been an admirer of yours since I saw you in Saturday Night Fever.
Good Spot anon. It really does look like the John Travolta outfit.
The Islamic world is working to a different calendar.
In Iran its still 1352. In Iraq its 1855, but in progressive Libya its 1977 and Disco lives forever.
Gordon, I’m surprised you weren’t more taken with my female bodyguards. Silvio, he tried out some very close protection with half a dozen of them…
Ghadaffi ” Oh Gordon …..looking back now with the benfit of history I freely admit that those revenge attacks were a terrible mistake.
All I really had to do was wait for Labour to be elected and watch the way they destroyed the whole British economy.
By the way I had your new boss that nice Mr Mandleson in here last week.”
Gordo: “It wasn’ae me. A big Scottish boy called Alex did it, and ran away”
Brown: ‘So Tony, what made you decide to take a part in the Saturday Night Fever revival?’
Mentally-unbalanced leader of oil-producing country seeks advice on improving public image from Ghadaffi.
How do I get my hands on a tent and some bitches?
Gadaffi: I said I only talk to the man who makes decisions. Who the hell are you?
Colonel, will it be OK if I come to Libya in about nine months time as your extradition agreement with the UK suits me?
Can I come here on compassionate grounds everyone hates me back home?
I am your pal any chance of cheap oil?
Can I visit your tent colonel? I like to camp it up.
I like your robe, can I have one for the wife?
Seems like a good swap.
Ok Mummar, you take Thunderbird one and I’ll take Thunderbird two.
I am getting sex at home, no need to guard your nuts!
Gordon Brown thought he was arranging tickets for Michael’s “This Is it” UK Concert Tour at the O2 when they met
It was hard to break the ice at the inaugral meeting of the new “Uneleceted Dictators Who have Destroyed their Country’s Economy Society”
Winner, great work!
So, yeah Gordy, Grecian 2000. You should try it. It really rocks, man.
MG: “Are you cutting my sons housing benefit in April?”
GB: “Can we have that bomber back?”
How many more wars do I need to start to get medals like yours?
Mandy told me you’d be up for it, Colonel.
Brown;
I don’t talk to working class but in your case with your cash, I will make an exception.
“So Mr Bond, first we have destroyed the international reputation of the Scottish Government, and now it is time for yours ……..ha ha ha”
Tin pot dictator of a banana republic meets with Col. Gadaffi.
“It`s a wonderful flat Mr Malik”
Mandy sent me?
Brown
I have just told you a funny joke about me cutting benefits of the poor in my country and you are not laughing, something lost in translation?
Can anyone smell gas? It is from the Colonel’s backside or Gordon’s mouth? Stiff competition to guess which.
Brown
Any Rothschild villas round here; I need comfort when being given my orders.
Ah Ah Ah Ah Stayin alive!
Brown to Gaddaffi
I’m delighted to see you’re wearing the Bay City Rollers badge I sent you.
Gadaffi: I thought you said it was fancy dress
Brown: No I didn’t, I know nothing about it.
“Where did I get them you ask? – http://www.Medalsforyou.com – I can get you discount Gordon”
#1
“What’s it like to be a half-mad unelected dictator despised by tens of millions of your own people and treated as a pariah by the rest of the world?”
#2
Broon McTwat “I need asylum”
QuadaffiMcDuck “You certainly do you mad fuck”
#3
Fuckstick Evil PigScum McBroon “Ted Kennedy is dead and I told people he was my friend – will you pretend to be my friend now? I’ll give you the rest of our gold”
I can’t laugh at this man any more – he’s wrecking the place. Even the Sun wants his blood. FFS can’t we have an election – this is getting exhausting.
Hey, I’m unelected too.
Brown
As two of the world’s most noted terrorists we dress very well.
“Want any help packing your bags, Gordon?”
Hi, my names Keyser Soze, I steal £5bn from private pensions every year, and get away with it without anyone realising it. How can I help you Colonel?
Gaddaffi
So what you are saying is that I can get my military equipment before the British Army?
Gadaffi: What – what’s that thing you’re doing with your mouth?
Gadaffi: Stop looking at my bollocks.
Your tent or mine?
At the 2008 Labour conference
Gaddafi considers Gordon’s question about Mandelson coming back into government for a few moments and then replies..
“I agree. Better inside pissing out”
“When they asked if would i like to meet the queen I thought they meant The Queen.”
Which one is the dummy?
Gaddaffi
Like my campaign ribbons, never fought a battle in life, you should get some medals too.
Gordon: “Oh nooo… white chairs… just hope I haven’t followed through.”
Is the “Horn of Africa” on your badge the only horn you have for me Muammer?
“Itchy scrotum colonel? I’ve got a pair of rotten Balls in my cabinet too.”
Yes!
Applause!
Either: Who are you calling a сunt?
Gaddaffi
I love these silk suits, very gentle to man round the crotch, of a certain age, how’s your waterworks these days?
[muammar..] “Ah, but Gordy, unlike you I can float on a cushion of air.. “
#69 – Boom – tish !!
Gordon;
Lord Mandelson requests your company at dinner in Corfu on Thursday.
Any time your over Scotland do drop in. I live in a small village, you might know it. Its called Lockerbie
Ouch! <:0)
Brown: Whats it like being the unelected Dictator of a failed state whose biggest claim to fame is treating the indigenous population with contempt?
Gaddaffi:I would not know Gordon but having followed your career closely would venture to suggest that if you don’t know who does?
Staff found that ‘dress up Friday’, was quite a success with the patients in the Rampton soft furnishings ward for delusional dictators.
“………..and the fuckers actually want me to hold an election next year. WTF is that all about?”
Gordon wasn’t quite sure about Shami Chakrabarti’s new makeover….
“I really need a black cape because aeee, I’m the saviour of the world…..Peter also needs the dark knight outfit”
Gordon: You’re right, Muammar, elections aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.
Gordo, ” When I get stuffed at the election next year, any chance of a job, boss?”
“Have a safe flight home!”
or….”Why don’t you wear white trousers, Mr Brown?”
“It all started in America.”
“You are right.”
No Gordon, Khartoum is in Sudan. How about Tunis.
George Lard, sorry Laird is a prick
‘… I got my mouth-gape trying to cut my own sock,don’t cha know?’
Interesting picture.
When you put the cursor anywhere on the picture, a little box appears with the word “terror” in it.
??????????
‘ …I haven’t picked my nose and eaten it once today!’ Gaddafi rocks back on his heels.
You’re a disgrace. You’re an unelected joke, pretending to be a world leader. If your people had the chance they’d get rid of you and restore democracy. Brown: Now come on Colonel, that’s a bit harsh.
Read the Rhubarb Grumble Blog here.
Don’t let those hurtful accusations cause you sleepless nights, Mr. Brown. 20 years ago I was branded totally insane as well. I recovered; maybe you will too.
The Sith Lord meets Darth Vader to discuss their tactics for building an Evil Empire…
You know Mummar I wish I had all your medals for Courage.
I can only see half of you colonel, my friend Mandy would look great in the robe though ! Especially with the bars for achievment in the face of political disaster.
Would you like a job as defence minister?
Would you like a knighthood ? – I’ve got a spare one now for terrorist supporting enemies of Great Britain.
No! No! No! – I’m from North Britain !
…. and if push comes to shove, you can always come and stay in Libya where you won’t be deported for your economic crimes against the English.
PM—i never criticise terrorists on early release that have blown airliners out out the sky–however if it happened to british airways i might ban him from watching X-factor
GB: “Which medal relates to Lockerbie? Would you like a chapter in my new book “Cowardice”?
Well I could wish….
Brown: “What’s it like being unelected and hated?”.
Gadaffi: “Dunno mate, but you should know.”
Gordon: Lord Mandelson apologises, but he sent me to meet you as he is too busy…
Gordon : I have some nude pictures of Barak Obama in my wallet – would you like to see them ?
OH & loads of M15 shots of mandy (fly me)
sucking various cocks & find the mars bar,
funny,i only recognise 4 of ‘em.
A leader of world renown ….. and Gordon Brown
“You really need to end your reign of terror and oppresion and allow the democratic process to proceed…”
“But it would be a disaster for the Tories to win, Colonel!!”
Your name is Brown? What kind of mother would give birth to a child and call it the colour of camel shit?
Gadaffi: “My friend, Magrachi is frightened of dying in a Scottish hosptial.”
Brown: “But Colonel, the NHS is the envy of the world. It leads the world in so many ways.”
Gadaffi: “Lazy, sluttish nurses and MRSA.”
GB says : Colonel .. I promise you.. I have no idea how he got his prostrate trouble.
LOL – I assume that the general anaesthetic may have helped a little bit:)
GB
“So go over again how I would run a country?”
Gordon if you are just going to sit there not saying anything, this will be a very boring meeting.
Gordon: Ah, I see you piss your pants too.
Gordon – “Peter will join us later, he’s just having his prostate examined by a young Arab boy…”
GB: You Ain’t Seen Me, Right!
Now we arranged for the safe delivery of Megrahi is there anything else you require before I can announce the supply of cheap gas and petrol for 100 years?
Gordon Brown’s new role as a chat show host gets off to a bad start when he asks his first guest
“So Uri, I understand you were very good friends with Michael Jackson”
I’m not Uri Geller
Oh, right..{consults note card} “So, Peter, are you still in touch with Jordan?”
Brown to Gaddafi
“so you recommend wearing a cape and medals”
Gordon ’squinting’ – “Ahh Susan Boyle – I like your new makeover, a great improvement”
Now! Where’s the fucking oil?
behind the c unting chair
GB: We can arrange a release as long as my guys McBride and Draper arrive the homecoming?
Brown: Can you spare me a camel for Sarah?
Gaddaffi: Knowing you, I thought you might ask. Good trade.
He swapped his wife for a camel. He said it was a better hump
Gordon – ” I hope you like my special gift, it was handed down by my father but I don’t need it anymore”
Mad Dog – thinks – ‘ A moral compass ?? What the f**k am I gonna do with that ?’
No Colonel I’ve never been on a camel before, is it similar to riding a rocking horse ?
Thank you for the suggestion Muammar -Hit squads are a fine idea in principle; Harriet will want me to make them gender balanced,which might be a problem though.
Gordon – ‘So Colonel, did you see the football match this week?’
The Colonel – ‘I made a great fucking mockery of your country this week’
“What do you think Jonathan’s researcher will have dug up about you, Gordon”
Gaddaffi meets with the Saltire delivery man
Brown: “So, you’re saying you never were in King Crimson?”
Gordon – “Well I’ve managed to kill around 207 of our fine soldiers for you now – so when do we get the oil ?”
Mad Dog – “Not yet, not yet, Tony promised me at least 500 !”
You release Megrahi and I will get you a tent full of boys that are so tight they will make Ed Balls feel like a wizard’s sleeve.
Gaddaffi: I hear you deal a lot in snake oil. I have some magic carpets out back you might be interested in.
McDoom says:” I would never have thought that grilled Snott is also a delicacy in Libya”
If a speccy bald bloke starts asking for details of our discussions – don’t tell ‘im Pikey!
GB
I would love to wear white but I dare’nt in case……..
Colone,l I need your help to further discredit my government, make me look a complete cowardly fool and Mandy a double dealing hypocrite, as well as ending the ’special relation ship’ – between Tony and the Yanks (to stop his lucrative lecturing deals). And, if you could make Alex Salman seem not as wonderful as is his compared to me at the moment, that would be the icing on the cake! And in return I’d like…….. a couple of boxes of dates for Christmas….. errr sorrry….. Winter Festival.
Gadaffi: Your breathe smells like a camels arse, you’ve pulled.
sniff sniff & your arse smells of Mandelslimes
‘au de toilette’ !
Mandy told me that the buggering was intense.
“Colonel which one of the ribbons did you get for masterminding the murder of 270 on PanAm103. I salute your courage, Excellency.”
Knowing how Mandy likes to do business, Brown clenches tightly and asks… “please sir, can we have some more”
Gordon, as your career is in terminal decline and you may only have months left, I want to repay your Scottish compassion by offering you safe passage to the Great Socialist People’s Libyan Arab Jamahiriya.
Mister Brown, I only have two words to say to you.
“Grecian 2000″.
Take two bottles into the shower? I just wash and blow
Thankyou for the gifts Gordon – but what am I supposed to do with the box of Scottish flags ?
`I’m sorry Gordon, but the oil price has gone up by three deaths a barrel.`
Sarah you look great in white.
A litte advice, Colonel. The Scots fart discreetly like this. That way, you can let one go without anyone noticing.
You might have got 270 in your innings, but I have 200+ not out.
“Fuck you!” – “No, Fuck You!”
Boy Blunder talks to Batman.
i have a hard on – so do I
Brown to Gadaffi: I know I’m overdressed for your pyjama party but Sarah packed my Porky the Pig jammies and I thought…
You remember the Arms for Contras Aid – well this one’s the Alms for Britain Aid
Gaddafi: Bugger me!
Brown: Yes?
My favourite drink Gordon? I call it the Lockerbie, others call it Scotch and American, on the house.
gadaffi to release Brown to go home to die at the polls
Brown: So can you teach me moonwalking?
Muammar al Gadaffi demonstrates his state of the art invisible jet pack, the only problem is, he has to hold onto his balls and can still only get two inches off the floor.
Brown, always the international jet setting Mr Fixit says it shows great promise and gives him 2 billion UK £ , fresh off the press, for research and development!
Further suggesting that if he gets in touch with his good friend Lord Handlesthebums of Boys at BERR he could easily get a couple more squillion.
Brown: “So what’s anal like with a Camel then?”
Gadaffi ” Better than anal with Mandelson, or so my son says”
Tyrannical leader of third world country meets Gaddafi
“Yes – I got 100% of my party to nominate me as well.”
With friends like these does Scotland need any enemies?
A pleasure to meet you. My named is Achmed…..are you also here for the Gay Gordon Disco Dancing championship?
Scotland the brave!
not
” Friend or Foe?”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5q45Cvp1-k
that’s my kind of diplomacy
go on – tell me how you really do that bending spoon thing
Brown: So, Tony, when you decide you’d take a part in the ‘Saturday Night Fever’ revival?
Whoops – two minds not working in co-ordination.
Gordon Brown meets with Bob Dylans evil twin
GB: I saved the world and I didn’t get a cape!
2 Compassionate men, discussing compassionate things in a compassionate way wanting more compassionate oil.
GADAFFI – “If you scratch your balls like this, your toes curl up!”
BROWN – “My trick is to bankrupt the country and blame it all on America”
Brown: Now this is how it is going to work, Obama is going to be the front man for the North American Union. Tony, the same for the European Union,
Wen Jiabao gets the Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere and you my friend get to run the sh*thole otherwise known as Africa and the pleasure of keeping us in oil, diamonds and minerals.
How can I get a kilt in the MacGrahi tartan?
First to blink buys the next round.
“I’m not sure Travolta’s suit and Keanu’s Matrix jacket would work for me”
Gadaffi: Jesus Gordon, in profile you look so much like that other Scottish tosser, Gerry ( we’ll just leave you here to be kidnapped while we f**k off and have a good time) McCann
Gordo says “thats really weird – I also get a little stiffy when meeting powerful men”
Brown:
Now if you could find your way to buy £20Billion of our government debt we’ll call it quits.
You know..I had my face so far up Peter’s arse that they had get my eye out with forceps!!!
Grecian 2000? No, NHS 2009.
There – if the Americans had been on the ball they could have got two for the price of one.
“Politics is a grubby business. Sometimes you have to swallow all your pride and principles, and simply do the deal. No matter how loathsome, slippery and untrustworthy the other guy is, one’s country’s longer-term interests have to take precedence over one’s own sincere deeply-felt prejudices and misgivings. So that’s why we’re here, Mr. Brown.”
…and in the case of the Dark Baron, lots of semen!
The two mentally ill dictators found so much in common, they couldn’t wait for the media to leave them alone to their lusts.
What a coincidence – I wasn’t elected to be national leader either !
Och nu, gis us a sec Colonel, just lettin one go
Brown to Gaddafi
“You call that a fart. Cope hold of this one baby”.
“Do you know Scotland, Colonel?”
“Only from the air.”
oh – that is a good one.
lol
Don’t look so surprised. Jack’s seen your todger, twice.
“Sir, I salute your courage, your strength, and your indefatigability …”
…now you see Col., Peter’s a real card, we have this little wee Scotts tradition, you wear the wee sporran back to front, kind of over your ass and it’s got a wee hole in it. Hours and hours of frolics and much more fun than lieing about immigration figures.
“Now let me explain Prime Minister, these shoes were specially made for me by Churches of Bond Street, they are for camel riding. The upturned toe hides a devious little spring that shoots me into the saddle in the twinkling of an eye. You see, Prime Minister, as Supreme Leader I must always appear virile and manly and they’re great for a fast get away too.”
Thinks,…. “Wish I could appear virile and manly. There are occasions when I need to make a fast get away from mandypops . Could easily afford a pair of those wizzo shoes. Perhaps I should ask him where he gets his medals, his whiter than white polyurethane trousers and his black shiny devil’s cloak too.”
“Errr…Colonel…I have to say I am angry and repulsed by the magnificent trade opportunities that exist between our two nations.”
Colonel, one more thing could you let me know the name of your tailor please? I think they would love me in that sort of clobber in Kirkcaldy!
“Colonel, do you know why the camel is called the ’ship of the desert’? No? It’s because they’re full of Arab semen!”
“I’ll get me coat.”
Gaddafi prepares to supply Gordon with unlimited natural gas.
Browns infidel breathe knocks Gadaffi back on his heals.
Gadaffi: Just like you I have an army of dykes to protect me, but at least mine are good looking
The Prime Ministers spokesman said ” Gordon has always been a fan of Michael Jackson and was pleased that the rumours of his death were untrue”.
Gadaffi: Fuck me, whats that smell of piss ?
Gordon: Never mind that, whats that smell of oil ?
GB: We gave you the prisoner, now you tell me the secret of how to avoid calling an election
So what can i do for you? that won’t get me in the shit.
Gordon: Its OK, Colonel, we’ll get some nonentity from the Scottish Parliament to take the rap for releasing him early then we can get on with trying to rule the world.
Gordon Brown meets AIDS victim, popstar Mr Lionel Ritchie.
Brown,
Thats good news that there is a spare seat on the plane. His name is McBride, Damian Mc Bride I’m sure he will be a great asset to your propaganda strategy.
That’s better my knees were getting sore.
In the picture-
One man is an unelected dictator who maintains control through state opression and restrictions in civil liberties. The other is Colonel Gaddaffi from Libya.
Khomeni, Saddam, forget those fools. You were always my favourite.
When I was growing up, we collected a whole book of Green Shield Stamps, not just one page of them. We call them Government bonds now.
So, as one arsehole to another, what do sheep’s eyes taste like, really?
International pariah meets Gaddaffi
One of us is dressed for a party !
Is that a colour chart pinned to your chest?
Gordon Brown visits Pinewood during a break from filming the new Star Wars movie.
Gaddafi:
I’ve read that you’ve introduced goats into your government taste – do they taste as good as the one we’ve just eaten?
Brown:
We like them roasted in their own juices.
…liberally smeared with an unpleasant concoction of our own making….
Caught on Camera: The precise moment Gaddafi let a ripper of one off..
After yet another embarrassing pause in the conversation, Gaddafi let one go, and this time he really did levitate.
Shut your stupid mouth you dirty jew.
Gaddafi looks pretty cool.
I’m bitterly disappointed that he did not seize the opportunity to stab the c,u,n,t war criminal Brown in the throat. Gordon Brown is filth. The dirty twat should be burned alive.
Agreed. But let’s give him a lengthy and explosive show-trial first, eh?
Anything else I can do for you sir?
Gordon: “Here’s a message from Simpson”
(OK it’s a bit obscure – John Simpson once interviewed Col Gaddafi, who farted the whole way through the interview)
I’m new to this blind dating, so your favourite group is Al Queda, I have all their top tens…
…and release a few myself, sometimes.
So, Prime Minister, I hear that you eat your own bogies.
Gordon:
Don’t worry. If the US kicks up too much of a fuss we’ll get Kenya to publish Obama’s birth certificate.
Two of The Middle East’s Biggest Terrorists Exchange War Stories
You don’t look like your official pictures Prince Andrew
Brown :- “I thought you were dead Mr Jackson”
Not As Dead As You MR Brown
These PVC chairs are great – no skid marks.
I Have Said It Before And I’ll Say It Again Niether Myself Or Any Member of My Government Has EVER Or Will Indeed Ever Meet With With That Terrorist Fucker Gaddafi
Have You Got Something In Your Eye Gordon ? Yes Glass !
& the next time you want to skull-fuck
someone i’l keep an eye out for you.
Do I look like a Liverpudlian?
Yes! – you do – Mr Brown!
Now You Chose Number 3 Your Prize Is A Weekend In Bagdad Will You Come Back An Tell Us How Ye Went On We Hope Ye Ave A Lorra Lorra Laf’s Ladys And Gentlemen Muammar And Gordon !
Gordon was suitably impressed when Gaddafi’s own fart lifted him two inches from his chair.
Just keep shtumm about it, Mumi.
Gadaffi: “I could offer you a job as a washer up in one of my kebab shops but you’d have to smarten up or wear a burqa
Err Brut Brut Brut Um Excuse me Colonel, I wonder if I could have the name of your barber?
It was only 240. I manage 1000’s a year in the NHS.
Madam Tussaud is unsure which waxwork is the biggest dummy?
You are Michael Jackson, I claim the prize.
Sorry about the typo, I’ll try again.
GB ‘You are Michael Jackson, I claim the prize !’
Madame Tussaud can’t decide which of her latest creations is the most complete dummy.
The man from El Tripoli he say, who the fuck are you?
Gadaffi…Thinks…..Damn his eyes I cant even use the camel milk prank this fuckers got a nappy on.
Your prison or mine?
Like so many people seem to be these days, I am suffering from terminal prostate cancer – having been found sentenced to an estimated 2 year NHS term, hopefully via their open prison incarceration system (aka Outpatience). The period will probably be reduced (with time off for inefficiency), parole only being available via the Death ™ system.
My question is simple, I feel deprived of the ability to cause an International Diplomatic incident – is this only available with the BUPA version of this game?
“So your father made you stand on a stool as well…?!”
oh, and by the way, low taste though this contribution is – I am entitled to post it since its veracity can be cross checked – so no “taste trolls” need apply……
Would you like to meet my plastic surgeon Gordon…..
creepy motherfuckers.
black magic satanists.
did I win the prize Guido?
Fatman and the Caped Crusader…
Batman meets Robin’ (bastard)…
LOL
“Did you have to pay extra for the Batgown?”
Hey Gordo as a former terrorist fundraiser like Teddy Kennedy can i have a honorary knighthood aswell?
You dum dum give me gum gum!
Vote Conservative on Thursday.
“Then Andy Pandy said time for bed….”
TOSSERS
gordon looks with lust at fatima whitbread
“There must be some mistake. I came here to meet Colonel Gaddafi, and instead I met Weird Al Yankovic.”
“And you are just weird.”
One of my constituents told me that goats are tighter than sheep, is it true?
Of course I’m Irish, as Peter Simple pointed out long, long ago.
Oh no you aren’t.
BROWN: “Yes, there was a time not so long ago when I also had an interest in a Big Tent. ”
OR
BROWN: “So, I think you have covered the Horn of Africa.”
OR
BROWN: “Oil be seeing you.”
GHADAFFI: “It’s been a gas, naturally.”
I see it’s true PM, you don’t have any gongs.
After Northern Rock, I thought about living in a tent too!
The one female bodyguard I’ve got keeps stabbing me in the back.
Wanna do a swap?
I only fly by the seat of my pants.
Can’t say I’ve ever been to Lockerbie. I only fly by the seat of my pants.
Oooooh! I do like your medals – the only one I`ve got is a canteen one.
They never let me fart like this on air in the UK you know.
Now Gaddafi Tell Me How I Can Stay In Power For The Next 40 Years !
Knob Jocky Meets Camel Jocky !
Since I Came To Power Our Healt Service Is The Best In The World, Our Education Is The Best In The World , Our Social Housing Best In The World And Our Military The Best In The World ! And My People Just Love Me ! So How Is It With You In Britain Mr Brown ?
And what do you do with the children once youve caught them
If I Can Just Get This Mental Twat To Pose Infront Of My Statue Made From The Shot down F16’s That Would Really Piss The American Infidels Off !
Yes Mr Brown Theres Over a thousand Square Miles Of Desert Sand Out There For You To Bury Your Head In !
Right You Get Him Back In Exchange For The Murdering C*nt That Shot Yvonne Fletcher !
I’ve never used seat 34b since then!
Hoon squared
Note the body language in the sitting positions. Who’s top dog?
Gorgon ” ..and this is my relaxed pose”
Yes lord, the rebels will soon be destroyed. To the Death star!
2 Hoons with big Hoons on their heads walk into a bar. The barman says “where did you get those Hoons?” “That’s a Hoon, not a Hoon, you Hoon” say the two Hoons. “I was talking to the Hoons” says the barman.
Well, my dear President we sing it like this:
LOCKERBIE REMEMBRANCE
(Sung to the tune: Flowers of Scotland)
Oh Powers of Scotland
Did you think you’ve done well?
When you freed a mass murderer
From his prison cell
To the families of victims
You didn’t give a hoot
But showed legal feelings
With a two-fingered salute
The Scots’ flag is flying
Over where victims’ fell
Not only in Scotland
But in Libya as well
So when ye are judging
Was it worth extra trade
Remember a victim
And remember a grave
And Powers of Scotland
Your deed will live on
When the grief of the families
Are all long, long gone
Oh flowers of Scotland
Hang your petals in shame
At this craven decision
And Gadaffi’s grinning gain
“Let’s pour oil on troubled waters.”
Terror boom de ay, terror boom de ay
“I’m an unelected dictator”
“No I’m the unelected dictator”
“No I am”
“No it’s me”
etc etc ad nauseam
“Did the media give you any trouble when you seized power?”
Broon the Hopeless Hoon: We’re increasing Britain’s national debt to unmanageable proportions and letting lots of terrorists into the country. Send us all you have you bad boy.
Gaddafi: I’m trying to contain my excitement Gordy baby but my engorged member has reached my knee and now it’s lifting my feet off the floor.
Anyone seen Gary Glitter?
“Restrict the media you say? Well, 40 years speaks for itself, I guess…”
Would you please let me have the name of your tailor?
Can you teach me to moonwalk Michael?
With Preparation H, I can even lean back in my chair like this and wiggle my toes Gordon.
I don’t know where this Gaddaffi chap is I’m supposed to be meeting, but I thought you were great in 9 and a half weeks.
Do tell me the name of your tailor Colonel
You look like you need some of my hair dye, as well as my oil.
Gordon Brown complements Kenny Ball on his lifetime achievements in playing the trumpet with his Jazzmen.
If you don’t believe me.. check this out.. http://www.ribchestermusicfestival.co.uk/2008/2008/2008/KBJazzmen.jpg
Colonel Gadaffi meets Colonel Bogey.