August 20th, 2009

Tories Thrash Labour

edelman-roundersThe annual parliamentary staff rounders and picnic competition saw the Tories beat Labour 32 1/2 to 17.  Sadly, no pictures of the totty have reached Guido.  Very sad…

UPDATE : Guido pulled a few strings, and here is the victorious Tory Totty Team:



  1. 1
    Vote labour ,,,,,,, OUT says:

    labour are shit at everything

  2. 2

    rounders? do you mean softball/baseball?

    • 22
      Anonymous says:

      yeah, but with a smaller bat. perfect for hitting people with.

    • 80
      Anonymous says:

      Rounders always turns into a softball/baseball/rounders hybrid in my experience which is odd. I’m sure we have all played rounders at school but nobody seems to remember the rules whilst we never played baseball but most people are aware of the three strikes crap. Americanisation is everywhere.

      • 171
        Susie says:

        We played it first. Catherine plays it in Jane Austen’s Northanger Abbey circa 1807.

        If the yanks can produce earlier evidence let them produce it.

        • 189
          Atlas shrugged says:

          The World is still playing British games, and by British Imperial Rules.

          We also invented many sports, such as Cricket and Football.

          Please be reminded.

          The Sun never did set on The British Empire, ( we very wrongly believe that it did, because we were lied to when we were at school) and it looks as if, it never will. Which is likely just as well, otherwise we really would be well and truly f…..d beyond belief.

        • 219
          jgm2 says:

          Quite so. The sun rises over Greenwich then moves on to Bermuda, hence to Anguilla and Montserrat and then around to Pitcairn and then back home again to Greenwich.

          All stand.

          Land of ho-ope and glooory,



        • 221
          jgm2 says:

          S’cuse me, forgot about the bit between Pitcairn and the BIOT/Diego Garcia as it is sometimes known. Then back home to Greenwich.

          All stand….

  3. 3
    JT says:

    There was a competition regarding the picnic? So who had the biggest lunchbox?

  4. 4
    shelling-out says:

    They can’t even win a game of rounders! Speaks volumes, that does.

  5. 5

    Baseball started in America.

    • 11
      • 14

        so baseball it is

        • 19
          shelling-out says:

          No – it’s rounders. Has been ever since I can remember.

        • 44

          It doesn’t matter what it was called but the important thing is, it is unimportant who won or who lost, but Labour’s share of the runs did rise significantly.

          Also at this stage of the game the Tories should really be scoring in the high 40′s if they are to have any hope of a victory at the world series. David Cameron must be very disappointed with this result.
          And anyway under Tory cuts there would be no more Baseball or Rounders or Softball , which are all funded from the same pot as they are the same thing, but we call them by three different names so it looks like we are spending three times as much.

          So vote for the party who no longer care about winning and who would be happy if they can even field a team to take part next August.

        • 98
          Four-eyed English Genius says:

          How can anyone win or lose in this Utopian, egalitarian society that the wonderful Bliar/Broon/Fondlebum triumvirate has created here?

      • 176
        Susie says:

        And for more evidence see my post 171 above.

        • 314
          Dont Tell Em Your Name Pike says:

          Spot on susie,very correct.However my problem with games has two prongs at my oldest childs school sports days the teams were organised into 4 house teams, so far so good,each house was given a team colour,at the end of the “competition” the points were tallied and the cup was presented to the winning house which contained all teachers and governors kids.The cup was decorated in the team colours with ribbons. I very politely asked how had they known in advance that this team would win as they simply took a cover off the cup to reveal it had green ribbons on it already,the teachers insisted that the cup had only just been dressed as the winners had triumphed.So show me the ribbons purchased in advance for the other three teams just in case! I was then informed that I was behaving in an anti -social manner.Discussion over!
          My other point is where is our olympians of the future to come from if no local clubs are in existence or do we import them too

        • 378
          Dixie Dean says:

          How dare these people use their wealth,influence or connections to ensure their children had advantages over others. I’d pull my sprogs out of that public school pronto- it’s just not fair!!

          Stop moaning you little tit!

  6. 6
    Champion Gurner says:

    Very Sad indeed

  7. 7
    Anonimouse says:

    shurely shume mishtake … Labour came first after the judicial review and inquiry. It was set up by Gordon to investigate the circumstances of the match but only with a remit to examine the Labour score and round it up to 50.

  8. 9
    Jonathan Cook says:

    I’ve seen the Labour totty……….. Margaret Becket, Harriet Harman and Margaret Moran etc….

    I’m glad there are no photos……….

  9. 10
    RavingMad says:

    hey, good on ya Guido, at last, a sports page :0)

  10. 12
    Farmer Grimes says:

    What’s a picnic competition?????

    Bun fight at the OK Coral?

    How to lay a cloth straight on the grass?

  11. 15
    Anonymous says:

    This man reading his decision over Al Magrahi just loves the sound of his own voice.

    • 16
      Anonymous says:

      I’m ashamed to be Scottish.

    • 20
      They're all at it says:

      It’s funny that the first day-and-a-half of his speech was all “I have the responsibility… It is my task…etc”, yet when it came down to actually doing anything about the conviction (stability of conviction…etc) it was all “it’s someone else’s job to…”

      What a pathetic dweeb.

      • 57

        I suggest Kenny MacAskill take to the stage with his wasnae me speech.

        • 261
          barefootcontessa says:

          I thought K MacAskill was great, came to the right decision in spite of intolerable pressure from the USA. I hope he meant what he said, as his decision must be a first for politics, a moral decision! The true story of the Lockerbie bombing hasn’t been told. Like a giant iceberg, most of the story is hidden. Mrs T had information that apparently the Scottish courts knew nothing about at the time of the trial. Americans, keep out of another country’s business.

        • 370
          EC1 PhD says:

          I’m with you there barefootc. As long as this is not pressure from Whitehall regarding oil contracts and that the Scots are truly a moral race then hats off to them. Cancel the tartan export contracts though.

    • 25
      mad fred 2 para retired says:

      Grandstanding hoon.

      BBC Pravda WATO gave his “sermon” full coverage.

      Looks like the SNP has chosen to be friends with Libya over the US of A.

      That is a really, monumentally huge mistake.

      I for one am so glad that this has been sold as a “Scottish Government” decision – & the SNP prove once again that naive student anti Americanism is at the heart of their political belief structure.

      • 33
        number 10's cat says:

        I wonder if the US Navy have a carrier in the Med ATM

        • 47
          Hurf Durf says:

          Better be one in the North Sea. I for one would welcome the overthrow of the Salmond regime.

        • 263
          barefootcontessa says:

          Alex Salmond is a clever guy, and I hope one day Scotland get their independence if that’s what they want.

      • 68
        Dr. Jim Swire and Rev. John Mosey won't be silenced says:

        some of you people should try reading up on the actual case instead of mouthing off ignorantly.

        you might learn about the real scandal and why the UK Lockerbie relatives are furious that this is silencing their attempts to get to the truth.

        • 102
          Dirty Business says:

          Al Megrahi sent home to silence the appeal.
          British and US governments wring their hands and blame the Scots.
          The Scots assert their independence.
          Everyones a winner.

        • 264
          barefootcontessa says:

          I agree.

        • 266
          Don't take the shots says:

          The decision to release Al Megrahi must have come from Gordon Brown himself. Why? because about 5 weeks ago Jack Straw said that Roni Biggs would stay in prison for showing no remorse against his crime as a train robber. Why was there a sudden change of heart? because not even this low life slimy government could expect to get away with keeping Roni Biggs locked up while releasing mass murdering terrorist of more than 240 victims allegedly, on grounds of ill health.

        • 360
          Salt Peter says:

          Well said!
          The bloke didn’t do anything and all the Dopey Mail readers are outraged. Time for the gut less wanking MSM to remind people of the pile of fabricated shit on Lockerbie that was called “evidence”.

        • 365
          CIA Spooky Tooth says:

          We know it was good evidence. We planted it!

      • 119
        I'll have some of that says:

        I think WATO assumed the guy would take 5 minutes, not the whole fucking programme…..what a wanker, must’ve spent weeks practising…..

        • 136
          Augeas says:

          It saved them having to send real journalists out to real places to find out news. Pure idleness.

  12. 17

    Guido! You must save that headline for next April at the GE. It made my heart leap with joy to read it – only to be deflated when I read it was all over a rounders game.

    Tories Thrash Labour…it has a certain ring to Guido. I’m sure that you will be using it again before too long.

  13. 18
    Sir William Waad says:

    If only it had been like the Picnic at Hanging Rock and the Labour contingent had quietly and mysteriously disappered.

    • 32
      X Marks the spot says:

      What we really need is something like the ‘Greek Colonels’ only we could go one better and have the ‘British Generals’ put some decent people in power like General Dannatt and a few other strong military types, then we could use our vote to decide which ( ie most ) of the MP shysters should swing!

      Then one stage further on we could have all the armed forces just for the defence of this country instead of sable rattiling and posing as some world power in countries beloning to other people.

  14. 21
    They're all at it says:

    Guido – I really enjoyed that headline, but was sorely disappointed when I read that you were talking about a game of rounders and not pistols, fists, whips and 2-by-4s…

    • 26
      Metric martyr says:

      4 by 2 surely or has that been Brusselated

      • 144
        Steve Expat says:

        4×2 is now to be known as 101.6×50.8 – because it’s simpler, innit..

        • 278
          thick as thieves says:

          don’t get cheeky steve.
          I have given you a golden ticket, but don’t get cheeky.
          just behave yourself and keep your nose clean steve.
          now go about your business.

        • 371
          Stalker hunter says:

          Good to see that you are taking your medicine, thicky. Your outbursts have been far more civil of late. Well done.

        • 373
          Stalker Hunters MI5 Shadow says:

          We’ve got our eye on you sonny! Leave our top operative alone.

        • 381
          Stalker hunter says:

          According to Thicky, Stalker hunter is a girl but you’re so off message you haven’t picked that up. Perhaps if you were a decent handler you might not miss little details like that? Leave it to the professionals, you amateur.

      • 330
        The Campaign For Tedium At Glasgow University says:

        or front-wheel-skid if you prefer

      • 410
        Archie says:

        2 x 4 is the Yank and Canadian thingy.

  15. 23
    Anonymous says:

    Rather off topic I’m afraid, but did anyone listen to that dreadful pompous boring prat, the “Scottish Justice Secretary” Kenny MacAskill. He went on and on like some demented laddie. I couldn’t take anymore and switched him off. Christ, if that’s a typical Scottish politician then the sooner we get rid of that God-forsaken land the better.

    • 29
      chronic says:

      Another Scot on my hate list, fuck me I am running out of paper.

    • 34
      nell says:

      tony bliar meets with Libyan Leader – hen BP announces it’s investing about the same amount of money libya paid in compensation to the bereaved families, into libyan oil exploration and then comes the announcement that the bomber is being released.

      Anybody hear gordon saying ‘ there is absolutely no connection between these three events.’?!!!!

      • 36
        shelling-out says:

        Oh nooooo, it’s coincidence.

      • 37
        Gnomes of Zurich says:

        UBS annouce that US account holders to be named to IRS, any chance we (and HMRC) could get a look at Tony’s


        • 49
          Hurf Durf says:

          Fondlebum meets with Gaddafi’s son for wine and blowjobs in a villa in the Carib, few days later the Lockerbie Bomber breathes free air.

          Total coincidence, though.

        • 141
          Ever Vigilant says:

          What we need is a forensic examination of any offshore accounts held by
          Mandleson .

        • 162
          The UK is becoming East Germany circa1976 says:

          We need forensic accounting audit`s on everything ZaNuLab have touched over the last 12 years.

          Everyone of the thieves and their corporate accomplices, should be brought before a court for as many trials as is needed to convict them all. Then, they can be stripped of their assets and imprisoned for the maximum duration, as a warning to all who follow.

          CMD of course, will never allow it, he wants buggins turn more than anything else.

    • 42
      Sir William Waad says:

      The Union made Scotland great and made Britain great thereby. It produced a great flourishing of Scottish engineering, philosophy, science, culture and invention. Now some Scots want to retreat into an imaginary past and become the Transdnistria of western Europe. The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity. It would be a tragedy for us all if it happened.

      • 50
        Crazy D says:

        Sod you lot trying to run Scotland, you’ve fecked it up for 300 years – Oh the United Kingdom of Great Britain – look at my Empire – deluded fools.

        Soon we will be rid of your interference and colonial ros bif attitude, come on Oz beat the English w@nkers in the Ashes.

        I’m afraid that Scotland is yet to have the last laugh.

      • 52
        Anonymous says:

        Agreed! I’m a Scot, but now thankfully reside south of the Border. There was always a dreadful parochialness about Scotland and Scottish public life, but the SNP have driven it to new heights of stupidity. I’m afraid I wouldn’t blame the English if they were to force Scotland to be “independent” – at least it would stop this continual SNP “it was’nae me”.

        • 145
          Steve Expat says:

          And it would get rid of a large number of Liebour MPs at Westminster in a flash. Maybe this is part of DC’s plans to reduce the number of parliamentarians?

        • 192
          Augeas says:

          Yes. It would be a real “Clause 4″ moment for Dave if he dropped the Unionist bit from Conservative and Onanist Party.

        • 271
          barefootcontessa says:

          There have always been a proportion of educated Scots who have connived with the English to their own advantage but to the disadvantage of their own people. The same situation pertains today.

        • 412
          number 10's cat says:

          Can’t be having that…. The Barnett formula would be no more and the Glaswegians would have to (GULP) pay for their methadone

    • 165
      Agreeing with Anonymous says:

      Likewise. His chance on centre stage and he wasne gonna lose it. He went on and on and I thought at once stage he was going to launch int poetry. A simple written statement of the decision would have been enough. What an utter egocentric prat indeed.

      • 341
        Dont Tell Em Your Name Pike says:

        Yea or nae would have sufficed

      • 380
        Hugh Bristic says:

        Remember that the SNP aim is to lead Scotland to independence. By making this controversial decision and cocking a snook at the USA Salmond hopes to demonstrate that Scotland can become independent and run its own foreign policy.
        I think the decision to release this man was a disgusting insult to the bereaved American families, but I think it was less to do with compassion than stirring up a political maelstrom in Scotland.
        Salmond is calculating that the Scots will respond to the outrage in the usual chippy way and be more inclined to vote for independence in the teeth of American outrage

  16. 24
    X Marks the spot says:

    All it means is that no matter what, they are all goods mates, all members of an exclusive club, united in the act, of either screwing the country or the poor old electorate or both, with said electorate conned into believing that their X will make a difference, dream on!

    • 333
      albacore says:

      Yes, a House united in every vice you can name.
      Hague’s got a fan club here – but next time you see one of his comic turns, notice how fulsomely the Labour butts enjoy his jokes, too.
      As for Cameron, all he has to tackle is a prize gimp yet he goes about it like a man made of smoke.

  17. 28

    That would make a good youtube video!

  18. 31
    Scotland on view to the world says:

    Why the fuck doesn’t someone straighten up that no entry sign outside Greenock prison?

    All those coppers stood around it twiddling their thumbs and no one has the nounce to tell them to stand it upright.

    • 35
      Highland Games says:

      Have you got a picture

      • 38
        Scotland on view to the world says:

        It is on BBC News Live broacast now, not sure how to get and publish a screenshot.

    • 39
      shelling-out says:

      It’s not in their job description to straighten signs.

      • 89
        'Elf 'n' Safety Executive says:

        Cordon off the whole area; we’ll need a team of qualified sign-straighteners to resolve this issue.

        • 115


        • 167
          The Sign Straightening Czar says:

          An equal opportunities development co-ordinator and a diversity awareness inspector, will first have to vet and select any team of sign straighteners, to ensure that they reflect accurately all sexual, racial and ethnic communities equally.

          Please note, enforcement measures will be taken and penalty notices issued, for all aspects of non compliance.

        • 181

          Full Rights for Bent signs!

          Stop the OPPRESSION!

          Sign FASCISTS

        • 343
          Dont Tell Em Your Name Pike says:

          A polish lad would do it as a favour,last time I worked in Scotland two years ago they were the only people I met apart from English and Irish who actually earned their money!

      • 273
        barefootcontessa says:

        We’ll have to set up a quango to deal with this one!

        • 376
          Headhunter says:

          Chief Executive to run newly created quasi-non-governmental organisation responsible for a three phase roll out culminating in the implementation of a re-alignment and re-positioning strategy of iconographic knowledge management statements. The applicant will possess considerable experience in change management with a proven track record in wasting government money through useless knowledge management programmes while executing tedious horizon scanning sessions over champagne with prostitutes in the local spa. The contract period is for a minimum of 36 months, salary in the region of £200,000 plus Isle of Wight weighting allowance. Contact nicola at HR with the codeword: ‘bent signs’

        • 407
          barefootcontessa says:

          Great! I enjoyed reading that.

    • 62

      It’s the wind laddie that does it – ah, the wind, the wind … the wind GENERATED BY THE ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. 45
    Engineer says:

    No Tory totty pics?

    I’m not bothering with this thread, then.

  20. 48
    Scenic says:

    Labourlist has expired, they cannot even run a fucking blog,

    • 53

      Speaking of Labour org .. who killed off the Hardwidge?

    • 125
      Unsworth says:

      Sadly it’s up and running.

    • 160
      tat says:

      I did.

      • 194

        Claim your own reward. Choice of his left behind possessions

        1. Zen Buddhism and the softer soul
        2. Graphics fidelity for beginners
        3. Economics for Dummies
        4. Box of kleenex mansize .. nearly empty
        5. Book on Courage
        6. Stick on Goatee and ponytail hair extension
        7. I luv socialism mug
        8. used cinema ticket for one for Star Trek the Movie
        9. Labourlist membership badge
        10. Signed photo of Gordon at Alton Towers.
        -To my best mate -Love Sarah

    • 236
      Canary Wharf Rat says:

      It’s still there a quick, perusal shows gave me an insight into why I would never vote Newliars.
      One interesting Headline:

      Liverpool, Manchester and Bournemouth chosen for 2011-14 Labour party conferences.

      Can anyone identify which phone boxes have been chosen?

  21. 51
    Colonel g' Daffy says:

    Not nice dying of cancer. My Nan died of it an no one gave a shit.
    If she would have thought to have bought down an airliner with a Sam-7 she could have got a full days news coverage before she went.

    I told her to make her mark on society but she just made jam. Silly old baggage.

  22. 54
    Hurf Durf says:

    Maybe he’ll miraculously recover while there and he decides, oh hell, weather’s nice, he’ll stay.

    “On tonight’s news, Operation Kill The Mad Jock Fucker swings into action. British and NATO forces strike Edinburgh, leaving a series of smoking craters. Salmond is missing, presumed fucked.”

    We’d get some tasty oil fields too. Bargain.

  23. 56
    Jocks are traitors says:

    I see Gaddafi has his own plane, no doubt Gordon will be watching with envy.

  24. 58
    I bet Polly Toynbee's caravan stinks of fishfingers says:

    I wonder what Polly Toynbee really thinks of Margaret Becket?

  25. 59
    Anonymous says:

    No-one even got pictures of the cheerleaders?

  26. 60
    Canary Wharf Rat says:

    Now watch Scotland’s economy disappear down the crapper as USA consumers give their answer to this decision.

    • 65
      Dr. Jim Swire and Rev. John Mosey won't be silenced says:

      I’m sure they are petrified at the thought of those stupid enough to believe it wasn’t Iran not turning up in droves like they did when the U.S. was happily funding the IRA

      • 70
        mad fred 2 para retired says:


        Hoons like you just muddy the water to further your own agenda.

        If there was any possibility that this was Iran, & not just some minor league Captain in the Revolutionary Guards bigging himself up with tales of derring do against Uncle Sam, then Iran would have been a smoking crater long ago.

        There is absolutely no evidence linking Iran to this. The Neo Cons would love there to be some, but there is not one iota of hard proof – unless you know different?

        Do tell or shut the F up – or go to the BBC HYS leftwingathon – they love reciting that BS ad infinitum.

        You & all the other conspiracy theorists concerning Lockerbie would believe any twaddle to support your own anti American agenda.


        You are dismissed.

        • 72
          Hurf Durf says:

          Just read some stupid twat say that al-Magravy was the fall guy for the USS Vincennes incident. These people are just great.

          Course, it’s nothing to do with justice. It’s to do with the Jocks getting one over the Americans. They love that underdog beats the big guy shit. Compensates for their failures in everything else.

        • 76
          Dr. Jim Swire and Rev. John Mosey won't be silenced says:

          A US intelligence report available to the lawyers of a Libyan former intelligence agent convicted for his role in the Lockerbie air disaster blames Iran, not Libya, for the attack. Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al-Megrahi, who is due to be released from jail on compassionate grounds, had instructed his legal team to present the document in court if his release appeal failed. Al-Megrahi is one of two Libyans jailed for their alleged role in the 1988 bombing of Pan Am flight 103, which killed 270 people. But the report, produced by the US Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA), says that the attack was “conceived, authorized and financed” by Ali-Akbar Mohtashemi-Pur (alternative spelling: Ali-Akbar Mohtashamipur), who served as the Iran’s Minister of Interior during the first years of the Islamic Revolution. The document further states that the operation was carried out by Ahmad Jibril, founder and leader of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine – General Command (PFLP-GC), a secular Palestinian militant group with operational links to revolutionary Iran and Hezbollah. The importance of the DIA report lies in the fact that several US insiders, including former CIA operative Robert Baer, have claimed in the past that the US believed Iran to have orchestrated the Lockerbie bombing, but avoided confronting Tehran so as not to damage vital energy arrangements with the Islamic state.

        • 77
          Dr. Jim Swire and Rev. John Mosey won't be silenced says:

          Now fuck of you little NeoCon Bush and Bliar apologist arsewipes

        • 126
          Groucho says:

          “There is absolutely no evidence linking Iran to this. ”

          There’s not a lot linking Megrahi to it either, to be fair.

          I think fair play to the Jocks on this. The crime happened on Scottish soil and the Scottish legal system has decided what to do about the case.

          They knew it would not be a popular move but what’s that got to do with the legal process? Hillary can snap her fingers as much as she likes but she simply has no say in the matter.

        • 277
          barefootcontessa says:

          Groucho, well said, a bit of sense on the subject that most of us including the relatives know very little about.

    • 66
      mad fred 2 para retired says:

      Americans are not going to support the economy of a country that has appeased terrorism & given freedom to a man who killed a swath of their college kids.

      I fully support them in that economic boycott, & hope that grown up politics can take centre stage in Scotland rather than this student-esque anti Americanism that seems to be in vogue with the SNP.

      That grandstanding hoon on Pravda WATO at luchtime – his sermon was mocking the yanks. They are not going to like that one bit.

      • 88
        Dr. Jim Swire and Rev. John Mosey won't be silenced says:

        “Americans are not going to support the economy of a country that has appeased terrorism”

        Just how naive are you sonny ?

        Both the UK and US have been trying to negotiate with the Taleban for well over a year and the militias in Iraq they negotiated with were the same insurgents and death squads blowing up the troops sometimes only days previously to accepting money to patrol the streets and “keep the peace”.

        Not to mention the copious funding that the IRA recieved from American Irish Republican sympathisers.

        • 109
          Hurf Durf says:

          Spin it all you want, Jock Hunt. You’ve just started on the road to becoming a pariah state.

        • 127
          mad fred 2 para retired says:

          Americans are not going to support the economy of a country that has appeased terrorism.

          The rabid anti Americanism that has come out of Scotland over the past week has been appalling, & an insult to all those American college kids who had their lives blown away over Lockerbie.

          You & your “nation” are a disgrace – today has proven it.

        • 137
          anon says:

          “Americans are not going to support the economy of a country that has appeased terrorism”

          You forgot to copy and paste the “& given freedom to a man who killed a swath of their college kids”.

          Are you spinning?

        • 193
          Dr. Jim Swire and Rev. John Mosey won't be silenced says:

          aren’t you going to ask for evidence and get smacked down hard again shitforbrains ? I’ll save you the bother

          what do you do for shits and giggles when you aren’t choking hard on George Bush and Tony Bliar’s c*ck ?

          “Americans are not going to support the economy of a country that has appeased terrorism”

          You forgot to copy and paste the “& given freedom to a man who killed a swath of their college kids”.

          And you forgot the Osama was financed by the American’s when he was in the Mujahideen that the Taleban visited Bush and were lobbying in America for a Gas pipeline deal months before 911 as well as the Billions that the US and the UK give in arms to Saudi Arabia every year which had 15 of the 19 hijackers.

          still stupid enough to think “Americans are not going to support the economy of a country that has appeased terrorist & given freedom to a man who killed a swath of their college kids” ?

          because I don’t hear a whole lot of evidence coming from you apart from the usual boring twatty bigotry and ignorance sonny ?

          the only disgrace I see is a grovelling shitmonkey who believes all the pravda BBC spin about it being the Libyan because that’s what little drones like him are told to think because independent thought is beyond them

        • 281
          barefootcontessa says:

          193 in this argument you are the winner. I hate all this ‘hate Scotland’ shit. If Scotland want to be independent then they should be. That’s democracy folks!

        • 336
          King John says:

          Who is stopping them but themselves?

        • 382
          Dixie Dean says:

          Message to mad Fred 2 para. You really are starting to sound mad!! It would be a shame if I had to break another knuckle on one of your red berets thick skulls. And before any craphat(yawn) remarks- you would be talking of the wrong colour. Ps Arnham wasn’t a victory and You know who shot H!

      • 97
        Perfidious Albion says:

        Time to boycott Jock products.

        • 105
          Groucho says:

          Such as?

        • 111
          Chafed and confused says:

          well this strap is coming off for starters.

        • 135
          anon says:

          The only mass product those hoons make are slimy fat self serving grubby ex-trot politicians.

          I dont think the English will need any encouragement to boycott Scottish politicans standing in English seats at the next GE.

        • 216
          short memories says:

          Whatever their faults the scottish government weren’t engulfed by a fetid tide of vomit inducing expenses sleaze like Westminister was.

          Choose you own little piggies all you like

          The SNP were demanding Scottish MPs only be allowed to vote on Scottish matters, not English ones, in Westminster long before little David Cameron did and they do not vote on English only issues so as a matter of course

        • 280

          Yup, boycott Jock products. Except for whisky of course. The Irish stuff is egg’n’chips.

        • 389
          Perfidious Albion says:

          Groucho! Try Whiskey for a start.

        • 400
          filipinomonkey says:

          Never buying the Beano again, that should do it.

      • 139
        anonymouse says:

        “That grandstanding hoon on Pravda WATO at luchtime – his sermon was mocking the yanks. They are not going to like that one bit.”

        Sickening, truly sickening.

        No more Scottish holidays for my family – and our friends in America will no doubt do the right thing and stop investing in Scotland.

        The Scottish Government must be taught a very serious lesson – you cannot insult your friends, let alone murder their children, and expect to walk away “scot free”.

        Poor Scotland – those idiots acting like a Student Council rather than a Governemnt have just cost you all very dearly indeed.

        • 146
          jgm2 says:

          The Scottish government under Salmond may be a bunch of jackasses on a par with the Labour administration under McConnel but I’m of the opinion that fitting the Libyans up for Lockerbie was on a par with WMD in Iraq.

          Look, the yanks shot down an Iranian passenger jet only six months prior. Then they awarded the captain of the ship wot done it a medal and a fucking promotion.

          I’d say it was pretty fucking obvious who the culprits were rather than producing ‘evidence’ of a Maltese shopkeeper who ‘remembered’ the defendant buying some clothes six months later. It mustn’t be a very busy fucking shop.

          You try and imagine quizzing up some employee at the Burton group about a chap who bought some clothes six months ago.

          Then presenting it as ‘evidence’.

          The Americans, lest we remember, lead us into Iraq for no discernable purpose. I still can’t figure out what they were up to. I know what Blair was up to but I cannot figure out what the fuck Bush was up to beyond having his ‘revenge’ because Saddam Hussein was less than sypathetic post S*pt 11. And you can hardly blame Hussein for that after the million or so people the yanks killed in Gulf War 1.

        • 164
          Groucho says:

          And Hillary Clinton needs to learn an important lesson – you can’t just snap your fingers and expect the legal process in a foreign sovereign state to be altered. I realise she is probably used to this happening, but thats no reason to assume that it always will.
          Scottish law has presided over a case that occured in Scotland. If the Yanks don’t like it – tough. Its none of their business.

          Anyone foaming at the mouth over this case should take the time to actually read up on the circumstantial ‘evidence’ that was used to convict al-Megrahi. Its absolute rubbish.

        • 202
          Lockerbie families want the truth not posturing says:

          another grovelling shitmonkey who believes the BBC spin and is so used to doing as he is told by the Americans that when he sees anyone doing otherwise it causes panic and confusion in his twatty little idiot brain

          what sanctions have been proposed ? None

          Hillary can sound off all she likes if it makes her feel better because it won’t make a blind bit of difference

          Not everyone is a little US sockpuppet who was cheering like a good little monkey when Bush and Bliar invaded Iraq

          And not everyone is dumb enough to believe the spin about it being the Libyan when the evidence against him was a joke and the evidence for it being the Iranians was compelling

        • 283
          barefootcontessa says:

          Your anti Scottish crap isn’t funny. The Americans should stop sticking their noses in to another country’s business.

    • 116
      Canary Wharf Rat says:

      The why’s and wherefores of who did it won’t cut any ice with the average US consumer. Whatever grubby little deal Blair and this government/SNP have cut with Gaddaffi and whatever they thought they were gonna achieve is as usual going to turn to shite.

      • 213
        Lockerbie families want the truth not posturing says:

        I’m sure the scottish government is quaking in it’s boots at the thought of all those american consumers who watch the international news and know where scotland is on a map stopping drinking whisky or renaming it freedom firewater

        they are complicit in covering up the truth and will pay dearly for that when it does come out

        but if you think this stops at the present scottish government or brown’s or bliars government then you are very wide of the mark

        the bombing of Pan Am 103 killed people from 21 countries, 47 of them British and Irish and it took place in 1988

        if the papers ever do get released the Americans will have a great deal of explaining to do since they produced a report from the US Defense Intelligence Agency which says that the attack was “conceived, authorized and financed” by Ali-Akbar Mohtashemi-Pur who served as the Iran’s Minister of Interior during the first years of the Islamic Revolution and the document further states that the operation was carried out by Ahmad Jibril

        the mistake was letting the appeal drop not letting the wrong person go

        I keenly await Cameron announcing that he will order an independent inquiry into the bombing and the UK governments part in the release of Megrahi when he gets into power

        because if he doesn’t he is just another posturing twat who won’t put his money where his mouth is

      • 285
        barefootcontessa says:

        Who cares about your ‘average’ American consumer? Americans, due to the credit crunch, are in short supply, hadn’t you noticed? About time somebody stood up to the Americans, newlabour have been acting like their little puppy dog for too long!

        • 306
          History will be kind to me,because i intend to spin it says:

          As a British Prime Minister,my place in history is only measured in photo shoots with President Brad Pitt,and if you’re really lucky,addressing the US house.

        • 385
          Dixie Dean says:

          Nice one bfc, lets stop the anti- Scottish crap and stick together. This is about justice and fairness. Well done Scotland you have shamed us.
          Love Dixie

        • 387

          You don’t do a very good job persuading people to stop slagging of scotchland when in the same comment you slag of the yanks.

        • 391

          You are missing the point….It’s pretty obvious the guy was fitted up and this has nothing to do with “justice”. A grubby deal has been cut more than likely sanctioned or orgininating from the USA. The smokescreen of rightious indignation is then implemented and a miscarriage of justice is seen to be corrected by the Jocks at the expense of the USA and it’s citizens. Problem is the sheep in the States will follow their eye for an eye instincts and the Scottish economy will get it in the neck. What’s the ultimate motive? Well it ain’t about potatoes.
          The real problem is that as usual US foreign policy dictated who did it, for political reasons rather than tracking down the real perps.

  27. 67
    Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi says:


  28. 69
    Jocks are traitors says:

    So Cameron has spoken out against the release of this terrorist. Well done Dave.

    And Gordon? Where’s Gordon?

    • 73
      Hurf Durf says:

      He’s on the phone to the White House desperately repeating that it’s Edinburgh’s decision, not London’s.

    • 74
      Wot the Fook says:

      This man who is so ill that he is going to depart the world within 12 weeks didn’t look so bad as he strolled over to the plod van.

      • 108
        Groucho says:

        It would be pretty difficult to fake terminal prostate cancer.
        They can’t tell you exactly how long you’ve got, but they can tell you if you are definitely on the way out.

        • 123
          jgm2 says:

          I though Nick leeson had cancer too. Which is why the Singapore government released him. To die with dignity surrounded by his family. Turns out he made a recovery.

          And Ernest Saunders of Guiness fame ‘beat’ alzheimers.

          It seems to me we could cure a lot of ‘incurable’ diseases simply by jailing sick people for a couple of years and then releasing them.

        • 132
          Groucho says:

          Prostate cancer is a bit different. Its a simple test. If your PSA reading is very high and climbing, you’re knackered.

        • 148
          Right Bastard says:

          Easier to fake a medical assessment and, Hey Presto, the murdering fucker walks free on “humanitarian grounds.

          By pure coincidence Tone and Mangledbum speak to Gaddafi Snr. and Jnr. respectively and, Hey Presto, BP get £500 million oil exploration contract in Libya.

          Job done.

        • 287
          barefootcontessa says:

          What a nasty vindictive lot you are! Why don’t you bring on the lynch mob. If you’re an example of tory sentiments, no thanks. Newlabour are bad enough.

    • 85
      Old Rockape says:

      The Gorgon is keeping his head down.(Is Mandy There)?anyway he is on a low profile vacation hoping all the shit will miss him. Some chance.

    • 93
      MondeoMan says:

      As with all things labour, he can blame someone else for this one, pass the buck everytime. Let’s hope it will soon catch up with him and his crew, soon, please soon.

    • 120
      I'll have some of that says:

      Yeah, really tough call Dave…..

      • 130
        ? says:

        And Gordon? Whre’s Gordon?

        • 153
          MondeoMan says:

          Opening a Tesco store I understand, sales are down already.

        • 155
          MondeoMan says:

          I got it wrong, he is on You Tube and his silly side kick is on twitter saying how well the elections far from here are going, band wagon and jump come to mind. How can you call the Afgan elections a success! Roll on our chance to vote.

    • 220
      wot wot says:

      He’s backed the British families who have wanted a Public Inquiry for decades ?

      About time Cameron got a backbone.

      Well done David I look forward to the Public Inquiry when you are elected.

  29. 81
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Fucking hell
    You could hang around SOHO and see less poofs.
    Time to clean up the Conservative party
    With a flamethrower.

    • 122
      paint my donuts pink says:

      “You could hang around SOHO and see less poofs.”

      You’ve done plenty of research by the sound of it.

    • 204
      Adolf of Clarkenwell says:

      Going to wipe out the Jews, blacks and gypsies as well, while you’re at it, Beast?

    • 240
      Canary Wharf Rat says:

      Hey Beast
      Worry not a jot about the politically correct who are on all our cases should we dare to mock or make a witty observation. They are fucking sad arseholes with nothing better to do than try to impose their sterile version of the World on us all.
      Gay is no longer a genetic thing, its a lifestyle choice, you know, like being a street begger on a top pitch or a Morris dancer.

  30. 83
    BBC Political Campaigns Director says:

    Well done everyone for the global campaign to free the innocent & lovely Libyan man.

    Everyone “on our side” is delighted with the strategy to free this fragrant & lovely man, & we are assured that Effendi Gaddafi Snr & Jnr will not forget the service we have been to them – especially in the drak times to come under a hated Tory Government.

    Some of us may get to stay in the desert with the dear Libyan leader himself for this victory!

    Well done again – another blow to the “special relationship”.

    • 225
      BBC Political Campaign Chief says:

      Well done for putting the American relatives before the British ones everyone

      Our whole BBC team is delighted that we have managed to avoid and ignore all those troublesome questions about Megrahis farcical trial evidence while ignoring the Iranian Ali-Akbar Mohtashamipur’s and the Palestinian Ahmad Jibril’s guilt

      Some of us will get bonus Brownie points for not asking why Brown who is the mortal enemy of the SNP hasn’t said a peep about this

      Well done again another blow to reporting the truth and continuing in Blairs fine poodle tradition in favouring the Americans in our biased coverage

      • 288
        barefootcontessa says:

        The British relatives were broadly in favour of Scotland’s action.

        • 404
          filipinomonkey says:

          The British relatives were not convinced by the evidence that’s why. They feel there is serious doubt that the right man was jailed.

          That the relatives feel this way is to me important, they will have followed the ins and outs of this case far closer than any of us and would love to see someone brought to justice for the murder of their loved ones. While no one can ever be brought back, the thought that the guilty have gone unpunished must be almost too hard to bear.

          While there is much speculation as to alternative explanations, none of us actually know, just have our own pet conspiracy theories.

          Sure the Iranians had a motive, but is there any actual published evidence?

          By the way, on the subject of evidence, it has also been established that the Maltese shopkeeper had read an article naming and picturing the suspect prior to his positive identification. So much simpler to pick someone out that way. It is also alleged that this shopkeeper was paid millions and moved to Australia.

          I suspect we will never get to the bottom of this.

  31. 84
    Trough Mixture says:

    Next week……NuNetba’ wi’ Gudrun and Mandy (cycles permitting).

  32. 86
    Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi says:

    No problem running up these aircraft steps!

  33. 87
    Monty says:

    Can I have the phone number of the lady on the left, please ?

  34. 94
    Anonymous says:

    Oh good, I can see someone I went to school with.

  35. 106
    Branflack says:

    Polly should do a blog “Polly’s Tea Time Table Talk”

    Maybe we could all then learn some lessons about why it is wrong to vote Conservative.

  36. 112
    Sir William Waad says:

    BBC report:

    A rounders match took place between political parties today. The Labour Party came second. The Tories came next to last.

  37. 114
    I love a good thrashing says:

    Mark Oaten says….. “Clearly it was wrong, but it happened and I’ve not even been that worried about it.

    “I have never felt abused, hold no grudge and do not wish to drag the case up today.”

    What a very LibDum thing to say. Say that to the thousands of other kids who get abused on a daily basis.

  38. 118
    Lord Sir Peter Loathsome-Mandleson says:

    Everyone wants to know where the PM is whilst this drama plays out in Scotland this very afternoon.

    Well, he’s really very busy with me right now.

    Aaaah! That was so much better than last time Gordon. There’s a good chap. Spit it into a tissue on your way out.

  39. 121
    gordon the credit card tart says:

    Anyone know of any good 0% credit card deals going? My other card goes up to 39% APR at the end of the month, and I’m thinking of switching.

  40. 129
    Mark Oatens expaedo lover says:

    No Hard feelings
    No shit!

  41. 134
    jgm2 says:

    While I welcome a picture of top Tory totty as much as the next man I am most discouraged that they were to be found apparently fraternising with the enemy.

    I know it’s all a big club at Westminster but at a time when it has become apparent that Brown and his imbecile government has squandered three decades of tax receipts in a mere 12 years I can’t help thinking that the Tories should be having nothing to do with any Labour apologists. that includes their rounder’s playing opposite numbers. These Labour wimmin are daily bringing cups of tea to economic beserkers without even taking the trouble to poison the fuckers.

    These Labour voters, supporters, councillors, MPs, apologists, associated arseholes and fuckwits should be shunned from polite society.

    ‘Want a game of rounders?’

    ‘No, fuck off you economy-wrecking fucking lunatic’.

    ‘Hello, I’m your ‘opposite number’ – I’ve been ‘paired’ with you for voting purposes’

    ‘Fuck off you economy-wrecking lunatic. You stay at home and wank yourself blind over pictures of Mao and Stalin if you like. I shall vote against you day and night you economy wrecking c-unt.’

    etc etc.

    Fuck beating the bastards at rounders. I’d rather read the headline ‘Tories (and Lib Dems) refuse to be seen with Labour because they are economy wrecking fucking lunatics’.

  42. 138
    jgm2 says:

    Apparently, according to Oaten (Shit be Upon Him) his missus attacked him and broke his finger when she heard of his extra-curricular activities.

    Who do we need to inform before the police get involved? His violent missus to be a danger to the public. This is how it starts. You let ‘em off with one violent attack like that and before you know it you’re a regular at A&E.

    Isn’t that right Harman?

    Go on Harman. Arrest Oaten’s missus.

  43. 140
    So17 says:

    Young, healthy and good looking.Nothing like the security force rounders team then.
    We had nicknames for some of our guys.
    ‘Road runner’ ‘Break dancer’ and ‘suzy pong’ to name but a few.

  44. 143
    Ding Dong says:


    Back to the photo. If you think those horrors qualify as totty then you have very limited horizons and experience of the true wondrous beauty of exotic womanhood. Bad luck.

    • 156
      MondeoMan says:

      The lady on the left still gets my vote.

      • 159
        jgm2 says:

        There’s a girl in the middle with a black band around her collar that looks worth further investigation too.

        • 315
          Phil O'Pastree says:

          The Asian babe on the right with proper coffee cream thighs and a meaty bum. My I’d like a bit of that thrust into my groin,. No wonder the berk behind her has his pom-poms in the air. Fwoarrr!

  45. 147
    streamfisher says:

    • 173
      buster says:

      Evidently every generation gets to be screwed by something. What a fucking nightmare! Twizzle and Footso used to scare the shit out of me, remember that?

  46. 149
    CID says:

    Have they released the right dude?

    He don’t look like no Abdel Baset al-Megrahi to me.

  47. 151
  48. 166
    Sukyspook says:

    Hmmmm, nice logo – Tucain Ball…..I’ll get my coat

  49. 169
    Anonymous says:

    Well I think the male totty count is high. Thanks Guido for looking after gay Tories too!

  50. 170

    Dear All

    I see that David Cameron, the Bullingdon Boy has been mouthing off that the Scottish Justice Minister, Kenny MacAskill made the correct decision to send Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed Al-Megrahi home to die.

    Under a Tory controlled Government, the English will have to get use to the Tory heel on their necks.

    It seems that under ‘Bullingdon’ laws no mercy will be allowed.

    Finally; I expect that Cameron was crawling up to the Americans, what a lightweight!

    Yours sincerely

    George Laird
    The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

    • 177
      Talcum powder for chafed gussets says:

      Dear George

      Justice is an English word

      • 201

        Dear Talcum powder for chafed gussets

        Thank you.

        When did it fall from use?

        Yours sincerely

        George Laird
        The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

        • 250
          snotgobblin says:

          but you you are a scotch twat laird, use your own words if you have the correct one

        • 294
          thick as thieves says:

          dear george,
          your comments about that useless fucking pothead c’unt david cameron were eerily correct.
          I will forgive you your bizarre desire to be analised by the EU because I am pro-lesbian and also in lieu of your enlightening views on david ‘dodgy motherfucker’ cameron you have deemed fit to publish here.
          I disagree with all of your other misguided views george but I fully agree with you on this one issue. I too find it is digusting to consider brutal bully boy bullingdon rule and furthermore I find it demeaning to the office of shadow chancellor when c’unts like gideon go begging money from russian villains. such chancers are clearly unfit to hold any type of office.
          quite frankly tory scum like dave and gideon make me want to throw up.
          they aren’t even very good front men, they have failed to connect.
          check the polls motherfuckers.
          so don’t worry about the tories being in charge of England george.
          no fucking chance.
          hung parliament my old china.
          you can bet on it.
          vote independent, you can relate to that innit.

        • 298
          Where do i get my TaT fan club application form? says:

          The Boy is back in town!

    • 183
      Sir Reginald Titbrain says:


    • 210
      Ever Vigilant says:

      Are you completely insane or just an ordinary left wing lunatic ?

    • 214
      nell says:

      And who was gordon crawling to with his deafening silence on this matter?

      Tony Bliar, mandy and gordon obviously have a greater interest in the £13billion of oil that BP has just announced it hopes to find in the Libyan desert.

      This little debacle today was not about Scotland taking it’s own decisions, it didn’t, and it’s not about justice or mercy.

      It’s about oil. Why else do you think tony has been hugging the libyan leader and mandy has been socialising with the libyan leader’s son on that posh yacht?

      • 217
        jgm2 says:

        More to the point. If Blair is involved it’ll be about him (Blair) getting his hands on some of those millions if not billions of oil money. A nice ‘thank-you’ seat on the board from BP perhaps.

        It certainly won’t be him manouvering in the UK’s best interests. Likewise Lord Mandelson of Yacht.

      • 230
        Sukyspook says:


      • 238
        Lockerbie families want the truth not posturing says:

        It is about Oil. Read and learn.

        A US intelligence report available to the lawyers of a Libyan former intelligence agent convicted for his role in the Lockerbie air disaster blames Iran, not Libya, for the attack. Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al-Megrahi, who is due to be released from jail on compassionate grounds, had instructed his legal team to present the document in court if his release appeal failed. Al-Megrahi is one of two Libyans jailed for their alleged role in the 1988 bombing of Pan Am flight 103, which killed 270 people. But the report, produced by the US Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA), says that the attack was “conceived, authorized and financed” by Ali-Akbar Mohtashemi-Pur (alternative spelling: Ali-Akbar Mohtashamipur), who served as the Iran’s Minister of Interior during the first years of the Islamic Revolution. The document further states that the operation was carried out by Ahmad Jibril, founder and leader of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine – General Command (PFLP-GC), a secular Palestinian militant group with operational links to revolutionary Iran and Hezbollah. The importance of the DIA report lies in the fact that several US insiders, including former CIA operative Robert Baer, have claimed in the past that the US believed Iran to have orchestrated the Lockerbie bombing, but avoided confronting Tehran so as not to damage vital energy arrangements with the Islamic state.

        So you too want a Public Inquiry nell ? Can we expect it to be announced as official Conservative Policy since this damages Bliar and Brown so much ?

        Since there’s no concievable reason why Dave would want to keep covering up the truth and covering for Brown and Bliar. Is there ?

        • 246
          nell says:

          I make no apology for being tory. And I acknowledge that there may be oil reasons why dave too would try to draw a line under this affair.

          But just because the DIA says of the rather complicated terrorist network that exists in the middle east that it thinks that Iran might have been the primary mover and shaker and the PFLP might also have been involved , does not rule out the possiblity that libyan operatives were the one’s brought in to plant the actual bomb. In fact that would have worked in the Iranians’ favour by throwing attention away from them.

          On the other hand one could argue that if the Iranians did it in revenge for their plane which was shot down, then why did they not claim it?

          I think a public inquiry, which I’m sure the families want, would be a good thing. Dave might not support that view – in truth there is no-one in politics whom I would trust 100% – even dave.

        • 295
          Long Grass Roots Tory says:

          If,as expected,Tories win the election,CMD would have to deal with the collatoral damage to the British-US relations,and the loss of British influence in explioting Libyan oil. No surprise he wants it to go away.

        • 353
          Lockerbie families want the truth not posturing says:

          It’s the pucity of the scant and flimsy nature of the circumstantial evidence against Megrahi which rules him out nell.

          Read up on it here

          In particular the evidence from Operation Autumn Leaves in Germany

    • 293
      barefootcontessa says:

      Agree George.

  51. 175
    streamfisher says:

    Get yourself a proof reader before you send next, or just a reader, any of those at Glasgow University?

    • 199

      Dear Streamfisher

      Are you a Proof?

      Is there something we should be told?

      Sounds like a story we should be told!

      Yours sincerely

      George Laird
      The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

      • 205
        streamfisher says:

        Are you calling me a proof?, one never can tell with these excitable pseudo intellectuals.

  52. 182
    WE R CHUTNEY says:

    UN Observer sates Scotch Law is floored

    • 244

      Well of course the poor Scots never did have Magna Carta.

      • 258
        Chav says:

        The fackers stabbed William Wallace in the back that’s all anyone needs to know about the Scots, their best hope of independance and they stabbed him in the back instead of helping before Robert Nancy Boy Bruce sucked and fucked and bribed the Scots way to it.

      • 270
        Anonymous says:

        No we had the Declaration of Arbroath which pre ceeded the Magna Carta by 3 years, sorry to spoil your little englander world view but Im afraid your wrong AGAIN !

      • 296
        King John says:

        Yeah, yeah, the world famous Declaration of Arbroath. How could we forget?!

      • 299
        barefootcontessa says:

        The proportion of Scottish soldiers fighting for the UK has always been higher per capita of population than those of England. England in fact very much depends on Scottish soldiers to fight it’s wars.

      • 328
        Phil O'Pastree says:

        Oh really? When did “England” last go to war? Wasn’t it 1746 when we did fairly well without a majority of Scottish soldiers?

    • 249
      Engineer says:

      Scotch law? Is that the one that says you have to let it mature for at least three years after you’ve distilled it before you can call it Scotch?

      Also, I believe it’s conventional to mature it in barrels, not on the floor. If the latter, the evaporation rate would be too high.

      • 272
        Anonymous says:

        is that what Nigel means by “Scotch” Law Floored instead of flawed ?

      • 317
        nell says:

        Horrible stuff whisky. Why does anyone drink it?

        Unfortunately scotland is being set up as the fall guy in the release of this person.

        Let’s not underestimate this british govt’s links with scottish politics.

        Scotl*nd is dependent on the english treasury for large sums of money.

        Simple equation – take this decision for us or have your funds cut.

      • 320
        nell says:

        guido what am I doing wrong??!!

        • 335
          Dirty Business says:

          Believing that Cameron is the new Thatcher?

          • nell says:

            Dirty Business – what a good name for TWatson or kevan or damian or EdB ………..

          • Dirty Business says:

            Don’t confuse me with those amateurs Nell. I operate in the top echelons of power. Those nanobots are programmed to undertake menial tasks. You are such a sweetie, but i think you know who i really am.

          • nell says:

            Well if you’re labour you are not going to operate in any echelon of power for much longer. I do hope the dole queue is not too long when you get there.

          • Gobshite says:

            Their probably going to “operate in Mandy’s echelon” this morning

    • 254
      Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

      Just off to get my reading binoculars

  53. 184
    SO17 says:

    With my vast experience of standing around parliament with my thumb up my ass looking at Totty,I would say the lass on the far left is wearing a front loading,cross your legs underwire wonderbra.

  54. 195
    SO17 says:

    No, I think that is a man.

  55. 197
    streamfisher says:

    Lord Mandelson I presume.

  56. 203
    Mrs Oaten says:

    I feel like shit now that its come out that I broke my Husbands finger.
    Odd as he feels like shit every SaTURDay

  57. 206
    Anonymous says:

    If the South African athlete, ‘Semen?Ya!’,is a possible man.I demand an investigation of the Canadian 60metres high-hurdler who won silver yesterday.

    • 226
      The Archbishop of Canterbury says:

      I’m willing to test all the high-jumpers.

      I can bring my own ladder.

  58. 208
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    I demand to see if David Cameron “Has a pair”
    Lord Fondlebum has offered to do the cough test

  59. 209
    Ed says:

    Well you already have a pair of Balls in your hands Milord *bows*

  60. 212

    Dear All

    Anti Citizen One said of my little world famous blog;

    “George might be a bit of a twat, but his blog is much better than you’d expect”.

    Making progress!

    Finally; done an anti Cameron post to please those Tory haters on here.

    Yours sincerely

    George Laird
    The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

    • 247
      magpie says:

      That’s all well and good, but Anti Citizen One is also a twat.

    • 305
      thick as thieves says:

      you will have to pay the market rate if you want an advert here george.
      you have got so used to picking English peoples’ pockets that stealing has now become second nature to you.
      stealing is wrong george.
      are you sure you aren’t a taffy?

      • 323
        Phil O'Pastree says:

        He’s spamming his blog. A lot do, but most of the others are worth reading.

        • 337
          Ta_dger says:


          Chop Pork at ASDA £0.64, get a Danish loaf £0.60, well good.

          I am spamming for food!!!!!!

        • 347
          Phil O'Pastree says:

          That ain’t kosher mate.

        • 348
          thick as thieves says:

          yes yes phil, but this is the most popular venue in town.
          and so its space is more precious than anywhere else, you know, like a desirable property in new york or paris or london.
          surely you can see where this is heading.
          oh, and are your subscription payments for the thick as thieves fan club up to date phil?
          cough up or all contact with your hero will be immediately terminated.
          I am a capitalist phil, not a fucking charity worker you stupid fucking cripple.
          this is not

  61. 218
    nell says:

    I see BetFair are tipping MadHatty as a strong possibility as the next Labour Leader.

    And Frank Field of all people says she would ” give the party a new direction which at present is simply drifting towards the most horrendous defeat”

    Well I agree with the latter part of his statement, but , ‘ a new direction’?

    Is extreme leftwing feminism likely to make them electable ? More likely it will keep them in the abyss for longer.

    • 222
      jgm2 says:

      I can see even more of their core ‘I voted Labour and so did my dad and so did my grandad’ types breaking their Stockholm Syndrom habit and voting BandB if that comes to pass.

    • 227
      SO17 says:

      ‘New direction’. Could be Labour going for the dominatrix sado masochist loving vote.
      lets be fair they have tried to chummy up to ever other single issue pressure group.

    • 243
      Engineer says:

      Actually, that’s a very good politician’s answer by Frank. He said it would give the party a new direction – but he didn’t actually say whether or not he thought it was the RIGHT direction….

    • 291
      Dame Edna says:

      Just the very thought of extreme leftwing les­bianism leaves a nasty taste in the mouth, Dearies.

  62. 223
    IAAF says:

    Totty? Looks like we need another gender test.

  63. 224
    streamfisher says:

    “And Frank Field of all people says she would ” give the party a new direction which at present is simply drifting towards the most horrendous defeat”.
    Bloody hell Nell, I’m confused enough about Politicians gender as it is: Francesca Field?, mid change over op due?

  64. 229
    Bob the Builder says:

    Have you seen the tory totty in Eric Pickles new war room briefing?

  65. 232
    Sukyspook says:

    Eric Pickles. There ought to be a law against it. Is this type of ‘presentation’ meant to make me vote Tory?? I think, nay, I KNOW – NOT.

    • 237
      shelling-out says:

      Eric Pickles was on Question Time a while back. He was lambasted by the audience for having a second home just 40 miles out of London.

      He tried to justify it by saying that he was too busy to get on a train and go home as he had to start working early in the morning at Westminster. Poor dear.

      I wouldn’t vote for him if he was the last man on earth.

      • 239
        Ever Vigilant says:

        Vote labour instead .Then you can be the last man on earth if you ask Gordon
        nicely .

    • 248
      streamfisher says:

      Pickles the dog is far more famous he sniffed out the F.A Cup after it was stolen, match that Eric, barrel of lard.

      • 313
        The Archbishop of Canterbury says:

        God Almighty, it was the World Cup in 1966 – not the FA Cup.

        • 319
          Phil O'Pastree says:

          Pickles didn’t know that.

        • 325
          I've lived too long says:

          He’s just a boy! Read Shoot magazines bank holiday special on Ramsey’s wingless wonders who won the Champions league,Premiership,and Inter Toto cup,playing the xmas tree formation,and with astute substitutions shortly before the penalty shootout

      • 324
        sreamfisher says:

        Thanks for coming to the rescue Pastree, thought I did rather well remembering the name of the dog but there’s just no pleasing some people.

  66. 253
    Gobshite says:

    U2 played in Glasgow the other night. Maybe that little fucker Bono had a word with the Scottish government. “Free Megrahi & i might pay ye sum fecking tax money”

    • 377
      Dont Tell Em Your Name Pike says:

      No cant stand the shit fellow countryman and all but he is allergic to tax

  67. 257
    nell says:

    Anybody know when gordon is due back at no.10 from his extended holiday manning the state of the art control bunker he has had built in the cellar of his Kirkcaldy home?

    I only ask because I want to know when he is going to make bob’aintbustinagut’ and brainless kevan to resign.

    • 267
      Engineer says:

      Has anybody discovered what this ‘community service’ was that the Gorgon was supposed to be doing, or was that another bit of spin?

      • 282
        tired and jaded says:

        Apparently he’s been working at a project that advises teenage boys who are confused about their sexuality. It’s all terribly worthwhile. Being the man he is, Gordon didn’t want to make a big fuss about it.

    • 274
      tatty lite says:

      steve expat, nell and engineer are all my friends, and those comments I made about them (that they were imbeciles and cretins and had the collective intelligence of an autistic woodlouse),was just friendly jesting and jappery, and not intended to hurt in any significant way (snigger) I am a reformed character and am currently undergoing some kind of therapy on the NHS.

    • 316
      Alexander Selkirk says:

      Don’t know if you saw it or live within the transmission area but the West Midlands version of BBC Midlands Today had an “exclusive” with “Bob the Bungler” (he being the local Coventry NE MP) You’ll be pleaseed to know that he was looking tanned and remarkably refreshed and sporting a natty pair of Rayban Sunglasses as he stood confidently on the roof terrace at the MoD in the sunshine looking pretty relaxed. He was of course still talking complete Bollocks but at least his constituents know that he is fully understands that things are “difficult in Afghanistan”.

      • 349
        nell says:

        Perhaps he will be thinking it’s time to take a trip to the front line to prove he’s a ‘real man’ , preferably in a ukrainian tin can ‘elicopter or an unprotected 4 wheel drive that would put tinned tomatoes to shame.

        Note to forces – he does not require body armour.

        Fanciful thinking. He will not, of course, go nearer to afghanistan than clacton!!

        • 350
          nell says:

          modded. Guido I’m going to go to bed now.

          Good night. God Bless.

          Please keep our lads in Afghanistan safe.

  68. 259
    Chav says:

    Oil will never run out, It’s a lie.

    • 265
      Engineer says:

      True enough. It will get slowly scarcer, and consequently more expensive; but probably not for a few years yet.

      • 267
        nell says:

        Well not now BP is prospecting for expected big finds in Libya.

        • 269
          nell says:

          Sorry I should also have said thanks to our very own Middle East Envoy Tny Bliar.

        • 279
          Engineer says:

          There are also very substantial reserves in Iran, and some (less well explored) in Afghanistan. Which might go some way to explaining a thing or two…..

        • 286
          Tony Hayward says:

          This is my favourite place for up-to-the-minute information on the oil and gas industry. The stuff above it’s, well, precious.

  69. 297

    Luvverly Jubberly. Esp the blue top/white skirt beauty 2nd from the right of the pic. We loves her.

    • 300
      tired and jaded says:

      Tony – I think you’ll find on closer inspection that all the birds have blue tops and white skirts. It’s a uniform thingy, a bit like rugger kit.

      • 312

        2nd right is the key, t&j. To differentiate from the far right, which looks like a fellah-me-lad. The 2nd right bird is the Tuscan winner.

      • 339
        jgm2 says:

        Outside of the girls in uniform the two ladies kneeling in the front row look like a good DNA addition to any gene-pool too.

        On average, a most excellent set of laydee employees.

      • 352
        Phil O'Pastree says:

        Dunno, they look like South Africans. Unfortunately I see bloody Tuscan Tottyman has claimed my bint.

  70. 301
    freddie flintoff says:

    shoot em all up the arse lads

  71. 302
    freddie flintoff says:

    guido you are a fucking legend , keep up the good work

  72. 303
    nell says:

    Does anybody know if tony, mandy or their pals are paid consultants, or about to become paid consultants with BP, Shell or the other exploratory oil companies now vying for contracts in Libya, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan and on and on………….

    I think Prince Andrew should rather hastily remove himself from this oil arena or he is going to be tainted with labour smear etc…………………….

  73. 304
    freddie flintoff says:

    was the scottish minsiter right ? NO the bloke needed shooting , he who shows no compasion , gets no compasion

    • 310
      chronic says:

      Mass murder + prostrate cancer = Ticker tape welcome home

    • 344
      Probably not a conspiracy says:

      He shouldn’t have been let out as either:

      1) He was guilty and should have rotted in jail

      2) He wasn’t guilty and the full evidence on whether or not it was actually the Iranians in a revenge attack should have come out on appeal.

      The US can sod off though – what happened to the crew of the USS Vincennes, exactly? Oh, yes, they were awarded “Combat action ribbons”.

    • 386
      Lockerbie families want the truth not posturing says:

      I’d put in more practice at the nets for the Ashes than wading into this one half-cocked Freddie.

      It wasn’t Megrahi. This is a pretty good summation for those who have only been following the story for the last day or so.

      A US intelligence report available to the lawyers of a Libyan former intelligence agent convicted for his role in the Lockerbie air disaster blames Iran, not Libya, for the attack. Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al-Megrahi, who is due to be released from jail on compassionate grounds, had instructed his legal team to present the document in court if his release appeal failed. Al-Megrahi is one of two Libyans jailed for their alleged role in the 1988 bombing of Pan Am flight 103, which killed 270 people. But the report, produced by the US Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA), says that the attack was “conceived, authorized and financed” by Ali-Akbar Mohtashemi-Pur (alternative spelling: Ali-Akbar Mohtashamipur), who served as the Iran’s Minister of Interior during the first years of the Islamic Revolution. The document further states that the operation was carried out by Ahmad Jibril, founder and leader of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine – General Command (PFLP-GC), a secular Palestinian militant group with operational links to revolutionary Iran and Hezbollah. The importance of the DIA report lies in the fact that several US insiders, including former CIA operative Robert Baer, have claimed in the past that the US believed Iran to have orchestrated the Lockerbie bombing, but avoided confronting Tehran so as not to damage vital energy arrangements with the Islamic state.

      So yes, it is a scandal that there isn’t a Public Inquiry because the appeal was dropped but that could be rectified with sufficient political will.

  74. 322
    Polly Toynbee's Caravan smells of talcum power says:

    Have you read this shite?

    Polly Toynbee
    20 July 2009
    To live on the left is to live optimistically, believing in progress despite set backs, hoping despite frequent disappointment.

    No love, that is running a small engineering business in the West Midlands

    Living on the left is a poncing of the hard work of your fellow man. Social justice is allowing men and women the dignity of work in a flexible lightly regulated system where if you don’t like your boss you can tell him to fuck off and go and get another job – under Labour employers are shit scared of employing anybody, fancy accidently getting a chippy old lefty bitch like you on the payroll!

    • 369
      Dont Tell Em Your Name Pike says:

      Absolutely point perfect,I am a prisoner of socialism living in the West Midlands trying to run a business.Had to notionally locate pseudo office to Wales to qualify for breathing space let alone help.These hoons only ever think corporate employment is acceptable as it is unionised and open to the treasury tinkering of tax credits.I think it will be a century or more before labour do not consider small businesses as criminal enterprises (allow drug dealing on ind estates)
      Left wing thinking has always been anything but optimistic,its support for abortion ,euthinasia,population control,destruction of family life promoting the idea of food shortages , the notion that mankind is the source of all ills etc has been its raison d`etre since at least its inception. Question ;How many trade union strong holds have any industry left?

      • 383

        Think of Marxism as more the church of Marx.

        A lot of the ideas of catholicism map into it.
        Original Sin.
        Utopian past.
        Revolution is their “saviour”.

        Their actions make them more predictable when you see them as an expansionist faith based religion, rather than a rational political movement.

  75. 326
    nell says:

    The Libyan is home after pressure from tony and mandy (gordon is hiding in his bunker at the moment). And we are on track to make £

    bob and kevan are spinning lies to smear General Sir Richard Dannatt.

    Very few people decided to vote in Aghanistan despite he loss of our troops to defend their ‘rights to democracy’

    • 327
      nell says:

      That first statement should ready that we are on track to make ‘£13billion from oil exporation in Libya’

      • 345
        King John says:

        You don’t make money from exploration. If by chance they discover oil then it takes years to develop the facilities to extract it and only then might you make a profit. Now why would Labour, or indeed the “Scottish goverment”, be interested in those long term returns? Only the Tories would see any benefit from that as they would be in power by then.

        • 374
          Dont Tell Em Your Name Pike says:

          Depends who employs these shits when they leave office,Labours HQ is Warwick uni ,incidentally david davis`s alma mater.
          BP and a shitload of quango`s including Network Rail ,are based there have a look by going to the campus,its a collection of control freaks and other researchers who to my certain knowledge have access to every personal bank account in britain and also bank accounts held abroad.
          This is Gordons Intelligence Capital ,it tells him who needs robbing next.
          If you doubt me wher did the labour party repair to on losing bye-elections and where do all the zany proposals come from for a fully centralised eduacation system linked electronically to moderators to ensure teachers never stray off message

        • 395
          King John says:

          I drive through it now and then. It seems to be full of Chinese students.

    • 338
      Anonymous says:

      The Afghan Election is great success says BBC although ITV says that the elections were marred by Taliban threats.I know who I believe

    • 406
      Lockerbie families want the truth not posturing says:

      You shouldn’t leave out the many U.S. Oil corporations and contractors like ExxonMobil who are drilling its first deep-water exploration offshore in the Sirte basin northeast of Libya.

      All of whom are beating a path to Gadaffis little Oil Bonanza with the full knowledge and approval of Secretary of State Hillary and President Obama.

      Why do you think they have said so little up until now ? Because they knew this release was in the pipeline for months and were informed straight away when it was on the table being considered.

      So they make a few crowd pleasing noises back home and bury this one forever and hope no-one will ever look at the facts again just like Bliar and Brown.

  76. 329
    Polly Toynbee's Caravan smells of old ladies tights says:

    Afghanistan poll legitimacy fears as Taliban violence keeps voters away

    • Militants kill at least 26 and close polling stations
    • Turnout seen as critical to Obama’s future strategy

    Another Nu Labour authoritarian crock of shit

  77. 340
    Student says:

    And you all wonder how Hitler got elected lol…..

  78. 354
    Anonymous says:

    allo titfer

  79. 356
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Overly tanned?
    Lived in Scotland?
    Throw the fucking key away

  80. 357
    Anonymous says:

    All this “totty” stuff is immensely boring and juvenile.

    Why can’t you think of something that takes you out of the your box?

  81. 358

    Big Blogger is watching you

  82. 359
  83. 362
    Dirty Business says:

    2 questions for Jack Straw:
    1. When the Jocks raised the issue of Magrahi, when the repatriation deal with Libya was agreed, why did you not exlude him from the deal?
    2. Who told the septics that Megrahi would serve the whole of his sentence in Scotland,while knowing that an appeal for prisoner repatriation would not be down to the UK Home Office,but would be decided by a Scottish MSP?

    • 393
      Anonymous says:

      Re 2. Was the Scottish “parliament” (“local council” would be more exact) in existence when the deal with Libya to hand over Magrahi was first struck? I’m not sure it was.

  84. 388
    Perfidious Albion says:

    The irritating thing is that the biggest story of the day is the stupid jockinese have let a killer terrorist go and annoyed the entire world (Apart from Libya) but this stupid blog is only interested in a dumb ass political elite bunch of c**ts who played a game of rounders. Thank fuck I left the UK…….and moved my 3 businesses.

  85. 390
    caesars wife says:

    pulled a few strings ! sounds like somthing went off in a dark corner of the westminster arms .

    As £8bn borrowings for july was buried by Lockerbie fiasco , Cw thinks its all a bit contrived , quite who the SNP are going to blame will be more interesting , but as well as the American voices , even Obama has spoken somewhat late , there are the Scottish voices that are unhappy. Ghaddafi says we have turned a new page , but then sort of cocks it up with massive welcome home celebrations for freed convict, making a bit of mockery of legal justice.
    Wether you believe he did it or not , or take into account the USAs downing of and iranian jet earlier the same year as lockerbie , with same total loss of life , somthing in diplomatic circles has taken place .

    It is perhaps a very Islamic way of doing things , in Sharia law you can pay blood money as alternative to punishment , libiya has had costly sanctions and made payments , there view of it is very different as its framed as an anti west struggle so there sense of justice is different.

    Libiya has been changing for few years now , it is still a police state , it intends to be a family dynasty , but has somehow arrived at the position that overt anti westernism is pointless and costly and just wants to do business .

    the modern world is now arriving at many of these previously backward and repressed countries , the people are asking questions about why here leaders do not bring greater change and if the gun toting cleric has had its day . None of this helps the injustices of the dead very much although a line drawn under may help the as yet unborn .

    CW favourite panto force of darkness Ed Balls is on holiday in a Lake district caravan (broon also went to the lakes for part of his break) , no reports yet of jonah phenomenon occuring in Wainrights and beatrix potters hallowed places , the Johan phenomenon does however seem to be appearing in Eds new seat of Morley and Rothwell , as it isnt clear to them why he is moving from Normanton , quite if he was getting the feel of the electorates hate for new labour in Normanton is unclear , but they dont mince there words in Normanton .
    But just so Eds new constituancey can get a flavour of there new prospective parlimenatry candidate , he has choosen to go on holiday when the A level results are annouced , the first time the goverment minister for education has ever done so !! So people of Morley and Rothwell when theres trouble in your constituancey , see if hes at the caravan .

  86. 396
    nell says:

    So a few months ago Labour quietly rushed through a treaty with Libya for the transfer of prisoners. tony met the Libyan leader, mandy met his son, BP have signed a deal with Libya worth a potential £13billion and Mr Megrahi has gone home.

    This morning a labour spokesman says ” If labour was still in power in scotland this release would not have happened. This whole sorry affair shows that the SNP is unfit to govern”

    Talk about trying to face two ways at once. And where’s gordon now everything is hitting the fan?

    Morning folks.

  87. 405
    Justin Langer says:

    Look, your rounders and picnic team are lazy, can’t handle pressure and have suspect sexual tendencies. This is all strictly confidential by the way.

  88. 409
    Anonymous says:

    Who is the Lovely Leggy Lady on our Left ???

Seen Elsewhere

Ed’s Constitutional Failure | ConHome
UKIP Poster Girl’s Naked Photos | Sun
Miliband’s Radical Old Labour Agenda | Fraser Nelson
Meet Team Miliband | Dan Hodges
Run Boris Run | Times
Tories Pledge to End Onshore Windfarm Subsidy | Telegraph
Labour’s Plan to Attack Part-Time Boris | Standard
Ex-Sun Hack Cleared After 582 Days on Bail | MediaGuido
11 Times Boris Denied He Would Stand for Parliament | Buzzfeed
Attacking UKIP’s Posters is Counter-Productive | Guardian
Sarkozy Tried it on With Hollande’s Ex | Times

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads