July 1st, 2009

Ding Dong and a Gong

debateLast night’s panel debate on the internet and democracy was as expected a bit of a bunfight, Guido got to deliver about half his speech (intended full text here).   Sir Michael interrupted as soon as Guido gave him some stick (no one had interrupted him). Nick was more reasonable in BBCish way, he bemoaned his blog’s comments – something we have in common.  He was a bit sarky, characterising Guido as a self-absorbed, overgrown student political hack, which was odd given we first met and clashed when he was the dripping wet chairman of the Young Conservatives in the 80s.  He did try to shift the debate back to the big picture.

Grant Shapps was all starry eyed about the possibilities of the internet.  Peter Kellner didn’t like direct democracy.  Questions from the floor complained that we were all in broadcast mode not listening mode.  When the debate organisers (Delib) listened and read out some of the abusive #idebate Twitterings from the large screen feed, it kind of confirmed the panel’s prejudices against listening to crowd sources.  All in all Guido enjoyed himself, hopefully it was entertaining if not that informative for those there.

Guido had to dash, to pick up an alternative award, bumping into a very hurt Lembit at the ceremony.  Had a few pints with the entertaining Stephen Pound, stopping to chat at the bar briefly with the chief whip, Nick Brown, who claims he enjoys avidly reading this blog.  Hmmm…


  1. 1
    Sir Mufbourne - Harbour says:

    Congratulations Guido. You are beyond critisism

    • 3
      Silence Won’t Defeat the B*N*P – Fraser Nelson says:

      I wouldn’t say that.

    • 24
      freddie flintoff says:

      o/t but those women know how to bash the ausses

    • 37
      (yes I am a cunt / no I am not Nu Labour) says:

      Congratulations Sir Mufbourne – Harbour. You are a revoltingly creepy lickspittle.

      Get your tongue out his arse.

      • 69
        Sir Mufbourne - Harbour says:

        Congratulations Guido. You are beyond criticism. (I meant in context to Guido’s planned speech; semi delivered during interruption). I think you are the best political blogger bar none and my advice is to keep up the excellent work measured by the wannabe’s and jealouse attack doggies incensed that you should be properly praised within your own pages.

        • 220
          barefootcontessa says:

          ‘The entertaining Stephen Pound?’ Are you going soft in the head Guido? Where’s your cynicism gone? He’s another of deplorable mp like most of the rest. Dr. Gibson has been hounded out of his constituency, and he is a decent man despite his expenses faux pas. Newlabour will regret they have changed him for a spotty youth. He was a maverick, an excellent constituency mp, but feared and disliked by the hierarchy of Newlabour.

        • 246
          tat says:

          bugger off barefootcontessa.
          you have the manners of a pig.

      • 106
        freddie flintoff says:

        no chance lad there are fucking ugly dogs our girls a lot fitter

    • 110
      Peter Grimes says:


      Yeah, just a semi for Guido. It’s too much Guinness wot does it!

      Surprised The White Queen didn’t like it up her – she normally does!

      • 196
        Funambulist says:

        Guido, why did Michael White switch seats with Peter Kenner immediately before the debate started? Couldn’t he bear to sit next to you?

    • 214
      barefootcontessa says:

      Yes congratulations Guido, get them told!

    • 216
      DR says:

      Is White having his head polished?

    • 251
      dirtyden says:

      Apparently, we, the ‘commenters’, aren’t, however.

      Fcking charming.

    • 269
      Rt. Hon.Chuck D MP says:

      That’s good then. Nick Brown-you are a cynical, scheming, pie faced, shit grinding architect of everything that’s wrong with our political system. You lie, you cheat, you avoid the truth at all costs and you exist purely to threaten your utterly spineless comrades into doing the same. You do nothing for the good of the country. You and your party have wrecked us for generations to come and now you try to conceal from us your gross negligence by cancelling this years spending review. This is OUR money.
      Your year long painful anhilation will be thoroughly enjoyed by all. You will be remembered for nothing.

  2. 2
    Voting Floater says:

    Hullo, Nick Brown! You fat, preening bully!

    • 49
      Anonymous says:

      Yeah! Fuck off Nick Brown and take the rest of those lying c_unts with ya.

      • 222
        barefootcontessa says:

        Nick brown is one of the slimiest of the slime balls. A cosy buddy to the gorgon.

    • 50

      I do so hope you enjoy reading that you are a fat ugly creepy poofter with no social skills and all the allure of a dog turd.

      The Penguin

    • 54
      The Beast Of Clerkenwell says:

      you missed out
      Nick Brown you big fat poof

      • 139
        Pudge Facker says:

        The Breast of Clerkenwell continues to show what an immature, imbecile tit he/she/it is. C U Next Tuesday you utter Hoon.

    • 58
      Chapps says:

      Hi Nick Brown ,or puff in boots as you are known by farmers after foot and mouth.
      When is Gorden going to pay back his Sky Sport Subs , which the taxpayer funded?????????????

      Yes you are a fat Twat.

      • 99
        Dick the Prick says:

        He came out of a fat twat down on t’farm

      • 130
        backwoodsman says:

        Hi Nick,
        in case no one has mentioned it, you are an incompetent murdering hoon and you deserve to meet your end on a pyre of burning red tape, aloong with beckett, benn and the latest meat free fucker you have foisted on the countryside.
        Tip, look at a map of Great Britain, the bit all along the left hand side is primarily suitable for growing grass – try supporting our livestock farmers , you worthless cnuts !

      • 195
        Steve Expat says:

        That’ll be two fat twats called Brown in the Cabinet then?

        If we alloacte the lamp posts in alphabetical order they’ll be next to each other…

    • 175
      Dick Scratcher says:

      Yeah fuck off Nick Brown you big fat, ugly, bent, bullying sour Hunt. I think that just about covers it.

  3. 4
    Hugh Jardon says:

    Nick…are the rumours that you enjoy the company of young men true?

    • 76
      Nick Brown MP says:

      That’s an outrageous accusation! I demand that you withdraw it this instant. I had cramp in my manservant and Lord Fondlesome was kind enough to provide relief.

      This is a disgusting blog and should be closed down immediately.

  4. 5
    Hugh Jardon says:

    Bit of a spat brewing between mandy & osbourne…..
    any news pls, Guido?

    • 53

      A great spat: High Lord Mandelson, the arch-queen of lies, smears and innuendo has, er, accused George Obsorne of peddling smears and innuendo.

      You could not make this shit up…

    • 59
      Steve Expat says:

      Could be an interesting PMQs today…


      Lord Mandelson has accused George Osborne of a “deliberate untruth” after the shadow chancellor claimed he was denied access to official information.

      On Tuesday Mr Osborne said the prime minister had intervened to stop him seeing a database which would help him decide how to reduce public spending.

      Mr Osborne pledged to publish the data so the public could “know the truth”.

      In a statement, Lord Mandelson said the “very serious allegation” was rejected by Cabinet Secretary Sir Gus O’Donnell.

      “There is a very unattractive pattern of behaviour that is starting to emerge with George Osborne, of innuendo in pursuit of a smear,” Lord Mandelson said.

      “This claim has been flatly denied by the Cabinet Secretary.

      “I suggest George Osborne withdraws this deliberate untruth to avoid embarrassing his leader at prime minister’s questions today.”

      • 65
        Chapps says:

        It just means that we have to get rid of Sir Gus ,and all he other NU Lab Knights.Its like a fucking cancer running through the service.

        • 229
          barefootcontessa says:

          Prime Ministers’ Questions, Jack the Straw continues to suck his lower lip with his tongue, has he got problems with his teeth? Hain the unhealthily orange minister from Wales clashes with his tie – a violent broad pink and navy stripe. The front bench next to the gorgon, despite all the scandals of the expenses, look more smug than ever!

        • 232
          barefootcontessa says:

          The gorgon today on pmq flanked by tessa and harriett, the terrible twins. Both dressed in cream. A rose between two thorns?

        • 247
          tat says:

          your posts are garbage.
          that you insist on posting two garbage posts in a row displays your contempt for the reader.
          you have nothing worth saying and yet you go on and on like a scratched record.
          you were a single child, right?
          mum and dad were interested in everything you said, yes?
          well we’re not.
          now bugger off you boring tit.

        • 256
          barefootcontessa says:

          I’ve decided to like you tat. I’m a masochist!

      • 108
        Always delete the cookies a& history files says:

        Why tell someone in advance that:

        “Osborne withdraws this deliberate untruth to avoid embarrassing his leader at prime minister’s questions today”

        Just who asks the questions at PMQ’s, that’s the question.

        Mandy & Osborne are good dining mates and Cameron will now be prepared.

        • 142
          Steve Expat says:

          Someone might want to tell Broon that – he thinks PMQs is where someone on the benches Opposite says something (he doesn’t mind what ‘cos he doesn’t listen), then he replies with how the Tories will make 10% cuts and sack thousands of teachers and policemen and nurses..

          That’s what the last two PMQs have been like, any chance of the Speaker today saying that he should be answering the questions, rather than asking them and ranting about the opposition??

        • 157
          Anon says:

          Bercow, principled?

      • 198
        Publish the figures for all says:

        Whether true or not that the Conservatives have been blocked from seeing the UK’s cooked books, why not release this data to THE PUBLIC, and let US see what a dire state the UK economy is actually in. Then we can see what liars New Labour have been and still are.

  5. 6
    Anonymous says:

    Who won the other categories ?

  6. 8
    Throbber says:

    Hi Nick – you festering cnut.

  7. 10
    Anonymous says:

    Better direct democracy than corrupt oligarchy.

    Besides, I just finished reading a book on the Peloponnesian War, and the Athenian democracy comes out of it pretty well I think (even if they lost) for a direct democracy under extreme stress.

    It seems hip n trendy to pooh pooh the idea of direct democracy, but based on what exactly? Oligarchic fear of the mob?

    • 13
      Sir William Waad says:

      Direct democracy works extremely well in Switzerland.

    • 21
      Chartered Accountant says:

      The Athenians wouldn’t have been defeated if they hadn’t launched a pointless and disasterous attack in far-off Sicily.

      Somehow that brings to mind some more recent parallels.

      • 190
        Peter Grimes says:

        Typical fucking CA! Boring as hell and cannot spell! Disastrous!

        • 261
          Chartered Accoutant says:

          Sorry about the spelling mistake, Peter. Very careless of me.

          However, I’m dismayed if you think that epic struggles for liberty against authoritarian rule are ‘boring’.

    • 25
      Doctor Mick says:

      And it in the end it was really the Athenians (Battle of Salamis) that saved Greece from the Persians, not Sparta.

      • 44
        Chartered Accountant says:

        True. The Spartans fought heroically to the last man at Thermopylae, but it still meant that king Leonides of Sparta had been defeated and killed.

        The Athenian naval victory at Salamis forced the Persians to abandon their aim of conquering Greece.

        • 63
          History says:

          Rather like the Battle of Lepanto many centuries later saved us from the Ottoman Empire (or is it now considered offensive to our “religious” friends from the East to mention that little contretemps???).

        • 132
          Doctor Mick says:

          But ironically the Ottomon empire was a far more tolerant and egalitarian society than the catholic republics it wished to invade. As long as you acknowledged the rule of the Sultan you could practise any religeon you liked in Istanbul, a policy you can be sure that was not shared by the pope.

        • 153
          Funambulist says:

          Yeah, Dr Mick, tell that to Spaniards like Cervantes when he gets to take a break from being a galley slave – considered the best use of a kaffir in Moslem Spain.

          Lay off the happy-clappy Karen Armstrong ffs!

        • 165
          Sir William Waad says:

          Moslem Spain had no connection with the Ottoman Empire and was intolerant – hence Maimonides fleeing Spain for Morocco.

        • 176
          History says:

          Oh Doctor Mick!

          Try discussing the “leniency” of the Ottoman Sultans with all the sons of the Christian Serbs and Greeks who were forcibly raised in the religion of peace to serve in the Janissary Corps for the purpose of killing and enslaving their own former kinsmen.

          Orthodox Christians were “tolerated” by (some) Sultans because they made excellent business people and minor officials provided however that they acknowledged their second-class status and remitted the necessary taxes imposed on their religion. The Patriarch of the day was effectively a hostage for their good behaviour. Catholic Christians were not tolerated!

          By the way, no Sultan ever ruled in “Istanbul”, only ever in Constantinople. I really don’t understand why modern day Turks insist on calling The City “Istanbul” since the word only ever arose as a result of Ottoman Turks being unable to pronounce Στον πολιν.

        • 250
          tat says:

          er, doctor dick is a zionist guys.
          he has a very perverse and warped view of history.
          for example, the dick thinks that because the jews suffered a holoacaust they are now entitled to commit genocide against the Palesinians and occupy Palestine.
          doctor dick is a nazi basically.
          it is best to ignore idiots like doctor dildo, as one would ignore that other set of nazis the bn p.
          zionists and the bn p are very similar in that both groups are racist.
          maybe they should hook up and form a coalition.

        • 257
          Doctor Mick says:

          Heard of an anachronism? They never called it “Constanstinople” because they did not speak English.

          What religeon were the Genoese then in Pera? Jehovahs Witnesses?

          Modern day Turks usually say “Stanbul” which as you point out means in Greek “In to the City”.

        • 258
          Doctor Mick says:

          tat, change the record as you’re becoming a bore. The vulgarities become duller the more you use them.

          If you could understand the above I was actually defending a muslim society. I’ve spent several years living in more than one.

        • 265
          thick as thieves says:

          not interested in your boring life.
          celebrated the deaths of any Palestine children lately you fucking nazi?

      • 174
        School for Scoundrels says:

        As opposed to the Battle of the salami going on in number 10…

        • 212
          El Sid says:

          all the sons of the Christian Serbs and Greeks who were forcibly raised in the religion of peace to serve in the Janissary Corps for the purpose of killing and enslaving their own former kinsmen.

          A period brilliantly recreated in the Bulgarian movie ‘Time of Violence’ – recommended to all who enjoy historical epics!

        • 259
          Doctor Mick says:


          The annual “boy tribute” was sent to Ist..Constantinople.. which was the cream of local youth chosen with a view to serving the empire. The caravan of boys had to be guarded on its way to the capital – not to prevent them from escaping but to prevent mothers trying to insert their own sons into the caravan. One of these could become vizier one day.

          The Ottomans weren’t peace loving hippies I grant, but then neither were the christians. These were violent times.

          But I’d like to see this Bulgarian movie anyway.

  8. 11
    Sir William Waad says:

    As Paul Foot once said, in Britain we have freedom of the press and no idea what to do with it. As I once said, lobby correspondents are the colons through which politicians unload their crap on the electors.

  9. 12
    Lord Willie Walsh says:

    What a fucking shitheap of an airline. British Airways? British Arseholes more like. Fucking Hunts the lot of them.

    • 77
      BA Kamikaze Pilot says:

      I remember a time when you had to carry on your own inflight meal if you were seated in the leper colony at the back of a BA plane. Very Humiliating but not for MP’s of course.

      BA was once the “World’s Largest Airline”, then when that was no longer the case it became the self-proclaimed “World’s Favourite Airline” (as voted for by the cabin staff and Willie Walsh).

      To cuts costs BA are now planning for passengers to carry on their own toilet rolls and any passenger with a Pilot’s licence gets to fly the plane absolutely free.

    • 107
      Anon says:

      Can’t even turn up to a fucking meeting. Waste of space.

    • 111
      An Aussie says:

      Recently has the “pleasure” of travelling in Europe. My take: Iberia – beautiful airport Madrid, brand new planes, cracking & well tailored cabin staff – female (and male). BA – lumpen and baggy and crappy planes and Heathrow smell like a toilet.

      • 133
        Engineer says:

        Well, it’s good to hear that you have the cour*ge of your convicti*ns in saying so, sir.

        By the way, have yor lot learnt how to spell ‘xxxx’ yet?

        • 159
          solopolis says:

          XXXX is pronounced as “piss”.

          It’s a bit like Carling Slack Bladder but without the mildly amusing advertisements.

        • 180
          Australian says:

          Engineer and Solopolis: don’t ever make the mistake of thinking that xxxx is an Aussie Beer. It is only drunk in that strange place called “Queensland” – different country altogether, mate!!!

        • 231
          Solopolis says:

          Australian, never assumed it was an Aussie beer. Just know it as “piss”.

          Don’t matter where it’s from, I’ll stick to Guinness :)

        • 233
          Engineer says:

          Marston’s Pedigree for me :-)

    • 138
      Doctor Mick says:

      If you were sitting at the back in “poo poo alley” then you were probably a smoker. Most BA hostesses are surly bags; only the poofy attendants have any personality but you have to pretend to nice to them to get double gins.

    • 172
      Sir William Waad says:

      Flying economy class is like being in jail, with the possibility of falling out of the sky.

    • 188
      Dick Scratcher says:

      Ever seen the film ‘Rockin with Seka’? Now that’s an airline!

  10. 15
    |cosmo|politan| says:

    Wish I was a fly on the wall (well not literally but figuratively)

  11. 16
    The big D says:

    Having read your proposed text, it is a shame that you were not able to complete your speech.

    Like so many other instances now, debate is stifled by preventing opposing views being heard. Now there are alternate news sources, this tactic will be self defeating.

    The slogan “nothing to hide, nothing to fear” will be back to haunt those used it most hypocritically.

  12. 17
    Jonathan Cook says:


    I think the wayward comments that both you and Nick get on your blogs, scale in their lunacy and ranting levels in direct proportion with the lunacy, lies and deceit of our government.

    i.e. If government were more rational and fair, then comments on blogs would also calm down and get more sensible.

    • 66

      Not going to happen anytime soon, then.

      The Penguin

    • 184
      Rebel Saint says:

      Re: comments, there is also a direct correlation with the style & content of the blog. The fact that “he bemoaned his blog’s comments – something we have in common” shows that they Guido is no better than the politicians he so despises. We don’t like the opinions/comments of the people so it’s the people’s fault, not ours. Many of the blogs I read don’t attract the same purile, abusive comments. But then the posts aren’t purile or abusive either.

      Robinson doesn’t like his comments because so many of them constantly accuse him of shilling for the government. It could be because his commentators are morons or it could be because he is always shilling for the government. He chooses to believe the former rather than face up to the former.

  13. 19
    Daveyone says:

    Lets declare July 1st 2009 farewell to Brown day ( Have a word inhis shell like Guido)
    Gordon Brown has not been elected as Prime Minister he was not even voted for as Labour leader by his party, he did not put a Labour candidate up against David Davis last year so how can someone with such a disregard for democracy have any further ligitamacy in office?
    In addition to the financial mistakes this guy, who spent 10 years at the top of the treasury, has left us with he has also brought words into our vocabluary such as Starlinist Brown, Orwellian and Soviet Britain so he has well passed his sell by date and needs to go to the country TODAY!
    See if Nick Robinson will stick this in his BBC pipe………………………………….?

  14. 20
    Anonymous says:

    Talking of dripping wet Conservatives, you’re right about the Torygraph becoming the Labourgraph. See today’s dishonest print copy main story “No need for elderly to sell home to pay care bill’, above a story about the proposed green paper that cannot produce results before the election. Will Lewis is clearly TOO close to his brother. Shall I re-subscribe to it I wonder?

    • 30
      |cosmo|politan| says:

      Anonymous – Did you see my reply to your message on the last thread ? If you haven’t you should – its very educational and ought to stop you asking any more dumb ass questions.

  15. 23
    Pete-s says:

    Sorry Guido, nothing to do with your evening entertainment: I saw this passage as part of a comment from Fraser Nelson today.

    “Few major politicians in recent years would have been so unpatriotic as to deploy a scorched earth strategy on their own country: it really does require a kind of tribalism that only Brown and his clan are capable of. ”

    Horrifying; but a sentiment I have had for some time.

    • 33
      |cosmo|politan| says:

      Yes, his racism is very worrying, I certainly would not want him in my “clan” (twat that he is)

    • 42
      Hugh Jardon says:

      could you post a link or tells me where to find it pls?


    • 104
      JCohen says:

      Your man Fraser’s been having a bit of a to-do with politicians who aren’t in favour of direct democracy too, namely Ed Balls who phoned him up and demanded he took down a post in which he accuses Mr. Balls of being a liar. He claims “Balls told me if I keep the post up, it will “expose” the sort of publication that we are – and our “political” bias,” and wonders “has there been some change to the constitution where ministers now have power over the media?”

      Coming so soon after the highly questionable NightJack case – a case in which you have to wonder whether the fact that the blog was a bit unfavourable in its portrayal of several high profile MPs had anything to do with the court not finding in its favour – it seems bloggers are proving to be a real thorn in the Government’s side. That’s great as far as we democrats are concerned, of course. But if they were to get really pissed off, how might they go about reining us in? Or indeed, can they – maybe I’m just paranoid.

      • 155
        Pete-s says:

        If in the past, we had collectively shown the politicians for the mendacious bastards they are. We may not be in the crap state, we are at the moment.

  16. 26
    Anonymous says:

    So you and Robinson bemoan readers comments. Would you just rather talk to yourselves then?

  17. 27
    no longer anonymous says:

    “He was a bit sarky, characterising Guido as a self-absorbed, overgrown student political hack, which was odd given we first met and clashed when he was the dripping wet chairman of the Young Conservatives in the 80s.”

    Bit harsh coming from an ex-member of the SDP!

  18. 28
    righty right wing (Mrs) says:

    Good speech Guido,

    How far through it did you actually get?

  19. 32
    The PM shouldn't be disturbed but this cunt is says:

    His Majesty, Archdeacon and Lord Michael White is perfectly entitled to interrupt people.
    It is simply vital that others have the opportunity to hear his views at all times…constantly….relentlessly….remorselessly…unendingly.

    Puts me in mind of the weekend after Boris was elected.
    Those two ghastly gobshytes Pig Abbot and Alibi Broon simply would not permit other guests on the 24 news shows to voice an opinion about the fact Londoners had chosen to vote against comrade Ken, a despicable hate crime.
    These left wing charmers…

    As for toenails Robinson that’s beautiful, a veritable gem, ‘student politics’ eh?
    He’s simply found BBC Pravda pays an awful lot more to promote Labour than any other option open to him.

    Me chums, if millions stopped paying for the BBC, there is simply nowhere near enough court time or prison places to deal with you.

  20. 35
    Throbber says:

    Mandelson on Sky now attempting to slur Osborne, calling him a liar.
    He is so fucking transparent you can see all the shit in him and clearly he is full of shit.

  21. 38
    VotR says:

    Nick B, can you drop the positive discrimination rubbish in your self destructing government?

    And do you have a plan for what you would like to do after the general election? Plenty of time for fishing or golfing I should imagine. Since your lot won’t be in power anymore.

    Hangover, Guido? Paracetamol before PMQs, eh?

  22. 39
    Old Street says:

    “Today i saw a slave become more poewerful that the Emperor of Rome ”

    That line was a bit self indulgent wasnt it Guido?

    • 100

      He likes to give out Mrs Fawkes has him skivvying about the place the whole time.

    • 109
      Doctor Mick says:

      A trifle. This is a line from Gladiator and refers of course to Russell Crowe winning over allegiance of the mob in the Colosseum from the Emperor Joaquin Phoenix. Similarly Guido has won over the allegiance of the British mob of taxpayers from the Emperor Brown. To be honest that is less difficult than Guido squeezing into a bronze breastplate.

  23. 40
    Austin 1100 sports turbo says:

    Robinson is smarmy.

    • 45
      Ernie - Fastest Milkman in da West says:

      Is that the best you can cum up with. Even housewives on my “round” use more profound lingo.

    • 64
      Alan Shergar says:

      Cue for an interjection from our freddie……..

    • 105

      …and it is also rumoured that unidexter ducks swim in circles, frogs have watertight sphincters, and in the most shocking announcement to date, Gordon Brown is a petri dish.

  24. 43
    boulay says:

    O/T but is anyone else hearing mandelson effectively accusing osborne of being a lier on sky news at the moment. he is also suggesting that cameron must know as osborne is in his team – unlike brown not knowing about mcbride and smears etc etc.

    it really is an absolute fcking disgrace that someone like mandelson has any involvement in running the country.

    i don’t think i have ever seen so much “politics” in government before – it is shameless.

    i really really think someone needs to take them out physically before they destroy britain for years

    • 46
      boulay says:

      sorry liar!

      also nearly just fell off my chair as mandelson was criticising the tories for “innuendo and smear” !!!!!!

      • 122
        Anonymous says:

        The whole bloody government are a pack of liars starting with the “Fantasist in Chief” Brown himself so why bother what Mandelson thinks or says about the matter. Cameron should tell the First Lord Secretary to get******&&&&@@@@@@@!!!!!!! Trouble is he’d probably quite like it

    • 56
      freddie flintoff says:

      mandy calls george a lyer talk about kettle pot black lad

      • 136
        Engineer says:

        Well said.

      • 137
        Anon says:

        Call me Dave’s best m8 George is hopeless. No passion whatsoever. Why was he given the job FFS?

        Does he take meds just before PMQs? His eyes go wonky and he often has the sort of fixed stare that someone who is there in body but isn’t listening to a single word has.

        Are all politicians completely mental?

    • 61
      Beautiful Day says:

      Mandelson “Capital spending isn’t going down, although technically it is” He’s so full of shit it oozes from every orifice.

      • 83
        Under the Radar says:

        2 Govt spokesmen (?) on News cycle, Manhandkebum and Adonis, both unelected, both Lords, Browns approach to Democracy is clear for all to see.

        ps, Nil By Mouth ‘some of it has been prodded through’, net result Brown Smears

        • 223
          Anonymous says:

          I share your concerns about unelected leaders. Let’s get rid of the biggest troughers of all while we’re at it.

    • 115
      Man on the Clapham omnibus says:

      #42 “…………….. before they destroy Britain for years” ……………????????????




      “Banks cannot be rescued for ever,” she said. “They need to restructure to have a sustainable business without relying explicitly or implicitly on another bail-out.”


    • 193
      Carlos Marcos says:

      Remember what happened the last time Ozzy Smirkface took on Mandy.

      It’s just about to happen again…

  25. 48
    UriGeller (Illusionist) says:

    RIP Michael !

  26. 51
    Stepney says:

    Terrific speech my fine friend.

    Rightly pointing out the scandal of the lobby – compliant, sleazy, corrupt and lazy.

    I do not think calling them journalists does the English language a service – they have been expense supported, feather-bedded copy-takers.

    Can you imagine them ay of them on the Washington Post circa 1972? “Nick Brown said it was just a break-in by some passing yobs. Sounds plausible. Let’s leave it at that. Fancy a pint? “

  27. 52
    Oink Oink! says:

    Looking at the picture is someone removing something from Michael White’s head?

  28. 54
    Trough Mixture says:

    “The entertaining Stephen Pound”?

    Please expand Mr F.

    • 71
      The Beast Of Clerkenwell says:

      Cos 50pound a quote is just laughable?

      • 150
        Trough Mixture says:

        I loved his rendition of ‘I’ve had the time of my life’ on Family Guy.

        • 166
          no longer anonymous says:

          Not sure why he felt the need to dress up as an elderly paedophile though.

    • 154
      NotaSheep says:

      Stephen Pound is a joke MP. Hopefully following the election he will be an ex-MP joke.

  29. 57
    adge says:

    I remember G Osborne asking to see the books and being refused during a BBC Parliment Treasury debate, Mandy may be wrong on this one.

    • 91
      Doctor Mick says:

      It is a problem of definition and disclosure. Mandy can say they have been given the information, and maybe they have been given some high level stuff, but unless you are given free access to everything – the calcs, the detail, the sources – then usually summary information is useless. Mandy can string this along ad infinitum.

      • 126
        adge says:

        but from what I saw G Osborne was refused the imformation he requested and no spin can convince me otherwise. Mandy is wrong on this one and should apologise.

    • 168
      solopolis says:

      I remember Shadow Chancellor Brown asking the same of John Major and Ken Clarke.

      Same shit, different day.

  30. 60
    freddie flintoff says:

    o/t bob willis called me a silly boy

  31. 68
    John Wright says:

    Sir Michael is a Knight of the realm who protects us against dragons and such like whereas Guido is a conspirator who looks to take down Parliament and why would anyone want to do that?

  32. 75
    I've shagged Darling's eyebrows says:

    Nick Brown – he also shags a right hand woman of For Foulkes Sake.

  33. 84
    |cosmo|politan| says:

    Here is a recent question from “Anonymous”

    “Guido – my friend is in hospital having a baby. Why did the doctor tell her she was in labour when I know for a fact she voted conservative”


  34. 88
    Anonymous says:

    Was Lembit Grope-it hurt because his career is over or was he just his usual pissed self and a bit maudlin?

    • 95
      Doctor Mick says:

      Does he still have a Cheeky Girl to fool around with or has the gold-digger found herself an up and coming conservative?

    • 249
      snafu says:

      Bumped into Obit in H’row T5 a few weeks ago, he was making inelegant passes at some impressionable young woman and telling her what an important political figure he was.. The twat just can’t help himself.

  35. 89
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    I wouldn’t want to be seen as an arselicker – but the text of that speech was excellent Comrade Fawkes. I assume the Guardian will be reprinting it on Comment is Free. Did you get the chance to ask Sir Micky about his forthcoming retirement?

  36. 94
    Eileen Critchley says:

    Do I fancy you / don’t I fancy you? I just can’t make up my mind.

  37. 96
    Alan Philip Bonggg says:

    Is Sir Michael having his head polished in the picture?

  38. 97
    Seaxe says:

    I liked the speech Guido, it comes as no surprise that it was interrupted, too close to the knuckle for some of the political establishment.

    This blog has its fair share of nutters and numbskulls but many come on here to rant because they are utterly frustrated by the political process. They effectively have no other chance to have their voice heard.

    This frustration also stems from the fact that many politicians themselves seem to do good for the country as an accidental side effect of their own agenda. They inhabit a world where they can do and often get away with things that ordinary people cannot. Keep blogging Guido.

  39. 103
    Civil Servant says:

    “He was a bit sarky, characterising Guido as a self-absorbed, overgrown student political hack”

    Nick Robinson is a very perceptive man. He used to be a student, but he grew out of it.

    • 114
      Anon says:

      Civil servants used to be independent of the political classes too you bastard. They also did some work.

      I really look forward to the time when your pension is transferred to one on a par with the rest of us.

      Get back to work you lazy overpaid fuck.

      • 194
        blondini says:

        The average Civil Service pension is £4000 pa.
        Pretty fucking gold-plated, isn’t it?
        Want a £4000 pension, anonymous gobshite?

  40. 112
    Anonymous says:


    You’re on panels with Nick Robinson and Michael White.

    You go to award ceremonies where you bump into Lembit Opik, have a drink with Stephen Pound and share pleasantries with Nick Brown.

    But you still think you’re not part of the establishment?


    • 235
      Peter Grimes says:

      Guido isn’t part of the establishment. It’s just easier to piss on those in the tent who deserve it from the inside of said tent!

    • 237
      Nostrodamus says:

      Guido, and other successful bloggers, do risk becoming part of the establishment. Influence is power and the perks of power are plenty. Conference speaking, TV appearances, industry awards, publishing contracts, advertising and investment offers, expense paid fact-finding trips are the baits at the end of line. Bite too hard and the reeling in will begin.

      It is very difficult to continue to piss inside the tent.

  41. 119
    nell says:

    Congrats on your gong and good speech.

    m*chael wh*te – I suspect shares gordon’s worst trait – he can’t bear to be criticised. They are the worst sort of people because they can’t learn by their mistakes because they believe they never make any.

  42. 124
    Leroy Himmler says:

    Just read your speech Guido, good stuff.
    Crying shame they didn’t let you finish it.
    I bet you had them squirming in their seats!

  43. 127
    Unsworth says:

    Never believe a word of what Nick Brown says. He’s a shyster. As is that arse, White, who has made a career of being a pompous self-absorbed prat.

    Don’t get too close to them Guido, they are poison.

  44. 131
    Jumbo says:

    Sir Michael Shite

  45. 148
    nell says:

    So n*ck br*wn keeps an eye on what’s written here. I’m afraid he’ll find people on here are not as easy to intimidate, with bully boy tactics, as Labour MP’s.

    nick, in his role as whip, was apparently the one responsible for having all those mp’s expenses forms redacted the way they were. A secretive man as well then , who tries to keep the public in the dark.

    Taking into account his own expenses ‘troubles’ -

    All in all – not probably someone you’d want as your mp.

    • 158
      Engineer says:

      No ‘probably’ about it Nell – you wouldn’t want him as your MP. Or bog-cleaner, or anything else.

      (It’s happened again – back to work, now!)

    • 163
      John Terry says:

      yes nell

      bring him on, come on nick you prick, come and say hello before we kick the shite out of you

      come on then….

    • 182
      Steve Expat says:

      Good luck to the people of Newcastle upon Tyne East and Wallsend in choosing a different MP come the election – he’s only got a majority of 7000 (over the LDs).

      If the Tories decided not to stand and campaign for the LDs, they had 3000 votes in 2005 which could go halfway to the deficit… We need Dave and Clegg to engage in some tactical campaigning to get Labour MPs like this cnut out!

  46. 149
    Dr Finlay says:

    Have the Scots given our Queen the swine flu. Her address to the Scottish Parliament is very hoarse (sic)?

    • 204
      Rab C Nesbitt says:

      Ayyy Lizzie Doll am sensitive by Govan standards, y’understand, y’know. Ah awiz keep mah pinkie oot wan ah batter sumwan oer the heid wi a basebaw bat.

  47. 152
    Odds Bodkins says:


    Very good, strongly worded speech. I can see exactly how it would have got right up White’s nose, the gist of it being: you lot (the journalists) are at least as bad as them.

    When confronted with cold facts their only defense is to barrack, heckle and interrupt. The more I think about this, the more I I feel equal disdain for these parasitic lobby shysters as I do for the politicians.

    Yeah, I think it’s an excellent idea to start shining the spotlight on these people, in addition to the politicians. If it wasn’t for their complicity they (the politicians) probably wouldn’t have got away with half as much…

    White & Co don’t like the internet because of it’s undreamed of potential for unrelenting scrutiny.

  48. 156
    caesars wife says:

    i have found one problem with blogging , in that if the bar gets the better of you , Tory bear posts event up first , including scrap with Michael White , but sounds like it was good fun .

    also good was simon mcoy and carrie gracie , mandelson got quite a roasting got quite heated .

    Whats going off with franchise for national express , all that needed doing was renegotiate contract , not rob it , and then talk about nationalisation , govt havent got any money left to nationalise , just wierd !!

    2 days and 3000 job losses annouced , willie walsh must be paying top dollar for airline fuel , and BBc must be paying for all employess to fly or take train by branson (who got cheaper airline fuel by buying in advance ) 15 million on flights , i can see they jet a lot of reporters around the globe , but not that many ??

    Why is gus odonnel wanting an appology , hes blown 19.5k on limos

    planted question should be excellent today , to ask the prime minsiter “how he is going to help the orphan , black lesbian with a wooden leg , to go to disney land paris which would not be possible if the opposition were in power “

  49. 160
    Devon Dweller Accustomed To Eastern European Greasin' says:

    3.5%/day on average = doubling in a month.Of course you run into position limits fairly quickly.Not many Socialists will ever have this problem,I predict.

  50. 161
    John Terry says:

    O/T but just heard the queen has dissolved parliament forthwith. She is also going to hang brown and bliar and nulab government at midday so no PMQs today. Then she is going to annexe scotland to the north pole for ever including all scottish media people, presenters and sport personalities

    There’s hope at last for this bloody country….

    • 183
      Steve Expat says:

      There is hope…

      • 211
        Anonymous says:

        An unelected woman, with no political experience, and no idea of quotidian life in this country has the power to veto an entire government. Remarkable. Correspondents might care to delve into what the Queen did to to the Conservative Party in both 1957 and 1963.

        • 241
          Lord Gorbals says:

          The problem is not that she doesn’t have the power. It is that she is not using it (yet?).

    • 199
      Dick Scratcher says:

      All that because you missed that penalty?

    • 206
      Hugh Janus says:

      If only!!

  51. 162
    Anonymous says:

    How else would the chief whip find out what is going on in the real world?

  52. 170
    Dame Celia Molestrangler says:

    Never mind all that, what about that lying git Mandlebum this morning and Martin getting his peerage for toadying.

  53. 178
    History will hate Brown and NuLabour says:

    Nick Brown ‘eh! are you looking in? true? then fuck off – twat

  54. 181
    RavingMad says:


    when Gordon Brown declared his new National Pan, did you ask the assembled if he got it from John Lewis?

    • 205
      Never knowingly undersupplied says:

      John Lewis don’t do the G-Plan range, but they do supply Parliamentary Candidates. Chris Ostrowski, who wears the red rosette in the Norwich North by-election is a ‘Product Manager’ for the parliamentary suppliers. “It looks very good on you, sir!”

  55. 192
    TheBorg says:

    The Scots should be Assimilated !

    Or better still Terminated.

  56. 197
    Anonymous says:

    Derek Wyatt is standing down. Seems he’s a bit miffed about the outside interest issue. He’s not as upset as the pork pie and scotch egg manufacturers, however, for whom he was evidently a valuable customer.

  57. 200
    Anonymous says:


    Government to “nationalise”(er sorry “take into public ownership)the East Coast mainline from franchisee “National Express” as it seems not enough people are making the journey from London to Edinburgh and National Express have told the government that they cannot mainitain their operating arrangments for a service on the East Coast.The government will take over at a pre-determined date once negotiations are complete and hope to return the franchise to private ownership with a year and remain confident that another franchisee can be found!!!!!!!!!!!

  58. 203
    Steve Expat says:

    O/T – Queen confirms Lordship for Michael Martin on Broon’s recommentdation – can’t we appeal to her to use her discretion in some of these things, maybe even the dissolution of Parliament?

    • 215
      Anonymous says:

      hahahahahahahha. That’s a good one.

      • 221
        Anonymous says:

        Yes, you can appeal to her discretion. It’s well known that she frequently listens to commoners. It’s also well know that she’s “widely regarded as one of the world’s leading diplomats,” which I thankfully learned on this very forum.

        • 234
          Lord Gorbals says:

          Read more than you post and you will continue to learn. If you encounter difficulties, just free your hand and raise it: there are plenty here willing to give “one to one tuition”.

  59. 208

    How’s the head Guido?

  60. 213
  61. 217
    Ann Robinson says:

    Just a thought but why not do away with Wales? we could save Billions! we could sink it or dig it up and transport the dirt to Cornwall and extend it into the Atlantic creating lots of valuable coastal land – large parts of the midlands would also be coastal making that more valuable too!

    All those silly Welsh M.Ps would be done away with too – plus of course the Kinnocks would be toast.

  62. 219
    Ann Robinson says:

    Talking of the Welsh – what a bunch of dickheads they are – silly accents, gobby and the fools are actually trying to be proud of being welsh!!

    I also don’t like the fact that they have hijacked Dr Who and Torchwood – Cardiff this and Cardiff that – and most of the actors with silly Welsh accents – Grrrrrrrr

  63. 224
    |cosmo|politan| says:

    A Gordon for me, a Gordon for me,
    If ye’re no a Gordon ye’re no use to me.
    The Black Watch** are braw, the Seaforths** and a’
    But the cocky wee Gordon’s the pride o’ them a’.

    On Yersel’ Gordon

    • 252
      snafu says:

      Cosmo – speedo, I won’t tell you again. Your banal and uninformed comments are lowering the tone of this blog. Refer yourself to Of-Fuck.

  64. 226

    Not being a twat (twitterer), I was unable to post the question I would have posed to Sir Michael LooksDownHisNoseAtTheRestOfUs.

    Which is “I have made, through my blog, a number of contributions to the strengthening of a terribly weakened democracy in the UK. What contribution has Sir Michael made?”

  65. 227
    hoof-hearted says:

    Please can someone shut Gordon up. The record has got stuck.

  66. 239
    Nicholas Slide says:

    Chief Whip cruised me on Victoria Street the other day.

    Looked like a Tolkien character; dragging his short, fat, dirty body and granny bag on wheels through the street.

    I was wearing tight trousers though, so don’t blame him.

  67. 243

    [...] That’s all for me for now – I’m sure other people can chip in (other write-ups are on the way already, including one on Guido’s own blog). [...]

  68. 253

    Well done Guido – great speech!

  69. 255

    [...] DelibConsults. Some other bloggers who were there include, the aforementioned Delib, ToryBear and Guido Fawkes. Hello there! If you are new here, you might want to subscribe to the RSS feed for updates on this [...]

  70. 263

    Well done, Guido.

    I wonder if Michael White understands that he showed himself to be a fool in a room filled with people he should have hidden his foolishness from?

  71. 264
    Anonymous says:

    extract from the debate

  72. 267
    elusivelestoc says:

    Surprised Nick was tory. Saw an interview with him a year or two back and he said he’d always been a bit of a leftie but did not let his views influence his reporting. Ho, ho, ho.

  73. 268
    Anonymous says:

    “Nick was more reasonable in BBCish way, he bemoaned his blog’s comments – something we have in common. ”

    But, unlike this blog, his blog is funded by a compulsory licence fee and he has no right to moan about or censor comments.

  74. 270
    Y Frontz says:

    A post yesterday mentioned the accursed Balls’ equally accursed wife’s father being able to get her a job when, after the coming election,she is unemployed and unemployable. On checking, I found that her father is Tony Cooper. This is a misprint as I am sure it should have read Tommy Cooper, because only he could have perpetrated a joke like this virago. Tommy was a good man and well loved, but it is well known that genes often skip a generation and Mrs Balls missed out on the human traits part of the genes that our beloved Tommy passed on. I doubt if Tommy’s humanity and geniality will reappear in the next Balls generation due to the characteristics of the sperm source!

  75. 271

    [...] 2nd, 2009 As Guido Was Saying Before He Was Interrupted At that debate on Tuesday Sir Michael White interrupted Guido’s speech criticising him to such a degree that [...]

  76. 272

    [...] for now – I’m sure other people can chip in (other write-ups are on the way already, including one on Guido’s own blog). 93 Total TweetBacks: (Tweet this post) en: @96TruwarierQB ok now I know u are just playin, got [...]

  77. 273
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, I do. Nick Brown

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Francis Elliot reports on No. 10 strategy meetings:

“When discussion veers to subjects that Mr Crosby thinks of concern only to the political and journalistic classes, he treats the offender as a pub bore with a tart request to “pass the beer nuts, mate”.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

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