May 19th, 2009

The Case Against John Bercow in Numbers

Bercow's Expenses
Labour backbenchers are pushing the candidature of Tory MP John Bercow for speaker. Wonder why?  We have just got rid of one trougher, we don’t need another trougher as Speaker.  Year after year John Bercow has maxed out his expenses…

Source :  www.TheyWorkForYou.com


549 Comments

  1. 1
    Susie says:

    Because he’ll be useless?

    • 7
      Anonymous says:

      Because he’s a Leftie!

    • 27
      horrorfan24 says:

      My vote for speaker would be Frank Field, but he might be too honest and outspoken for the job

      • 69
        Bordeaux Binger says:

        Labour MPs don’t like him he is too outspoken and at odds with the party leadership. These would be sound reasons for backing him. It would shut him up.
        Same applies to Chris Mullin. Perhaps, as she has no desire to be the leader of her party, Harriet the Harperson might put her name forward.

    • 38
      Martin in Essex says:

      These MPs have got to understand that we wont tolerate these troughers any more. The next speaker has got to be whiter than white(that will go down like a lead baloon with the PC brigade) and as that will probably be impossible the nearest off whiter. We are their masters and these bastards had better get used to it

      • 51
      • 107
        Pissed off voter says:

        careful, that description was patented by the current lot in ‘97

      • 167

        Can someone explain WHY we need a speaker?

        We need less politicians, not more.

      • 177
        dirtyden says:

        The House of Commons would descend into barbaric chaos without a Speaker.

        Oh, right…

      • 443
        Abolish the Licence Fee says:

        Yeah, and no more bloody foreigners, either. Bercow sounds Polish.

      • 482
        Atlas shrugged says:

        HA HA

        If you think that, then you are going to be in for an even bigger shock in the future.

        The plane facts, are the plane facts. MP’s don’t work for US, and never have done. They work for THEM, when not obviously working for their own greedy self interests. Very much in exactly the same way as WE ALL SHOULD, if we had any sense.

        The difference is we are paying ever more taxes, fines, and charges to pay for it all. We are still skint, and becoming more so everyday. Their tax free bank balances and pension funds are forever more in the black, while our lives fall deeper into the red.

        This issue will go down in history as, not the end, but certainly the beginning of the end for British parliamentary democracy.

        This will not kill the beast, it is just a few deep cuts to the buttocks and legs. The killer blows will come later, once the plebs party has finally been got rid of, and a pro-European super state Lib/Lab type party, has been established.

        Cameron’s premiership will make the Thatcher years look relatively unEVENTful.

        EVENTS DEAR BOY, EVENTS. IMO Cameron’s premiership is planned to last no more then two years. This country is now at the political as well as the financial mercy of The NWO’s European Socialist Soviet Republic.

    • 83
      thick as thieves says:

      no, because he’s a corrupt bastard!

    • 149
      Tattooed_Arry says:

      Keith Vaz ought to do just fine then.

    • 206
      The Grim Reaper says:

      So the Fat Controller has resigned and is being offered a peerage. Which says everything about the One Eyed Stiff One’s judgement. After all, Bruin was going to offer the appalling Fiona Phillips of GMTV a Baroness.

      The Fat Controller will now join ranks with other dreadful members of the bastardised Blairite Lords – Baroness Uddin, the four disgraced Labour peers, the nasty LibDem Baroness Tonge and the hugely Labourite awful Baroness Uddin and best of all, the insect like Baron Handlebum.

      • 249
        Anonymous says:

        They always get a peerage. Its a tradition. Like honesty used to be.

      • 524
        David Hodge says:

        The Queen needs to make Heather Brooke a Countess. She would then out rank the fat controller. Just to see his face when Countess Heather looked him in the eye and said I will be watching you and your expences would bring the house down.

    • 438
      idle says:

      The case in numbers?

      How about because he’s a 5ft 1 inch self-publicist of no discernable talent?

    • 540
      BlogTart says:

      To be fair to Bercow, if he has maxed out his ACA like everyone else, he has been consistent in claiming the same amount year on year, and his overall ranking has fallen from 59th in 2001/02, to 631st in 07/08, which just goes to show how much the rest have outstripped him in putting their noses in the trough.

  2. 2
    Whiffler says:

    How clean is Ann Widdecombe ?

    Try to think pure thoughts as you consider the question.

    • 6
      Droopy Drawers says:

      She’s standing down isn’t she?

      • 29
        Whiffler says:

        She’s being touted as a short-term candidate, allowing the next Parliament to pick their own man/woman/transgender-type-thingy.

        Heard the question put to her just now, she said first she’s heard of it and there’s a month for serious candidates to emerge. DIDN’T SAY NO !!

        However, I believe she’s voted for privacy (sorry, secrecy) all along.

      • 191
        justsurfing says:

        Madame Screech would be a one woman disaster for the Tories – she wouldn’t play well with the voters. George Younger would be a much better (and more laid back) speaker – an ideal interim candidate until the election comes.

      • 382
        Stan Albans. says:

        Hows about Anne Main MP? A tigress. Sadly, I can’t vote for her in the GE ‘cos I’ll be voting for another Party.

      • 441
        Stan Albans. says:

        I’ve changed my mind. ‘Just looked at Her Expenses.

    • 41
      lololo says:

      She voted for the FOI amendment last year so she is tainted with that, besides she said no on Pravda before.

    • 72
      nell says:

      Apparantly she’s squeaky clean.

    • 250
      Anonymous says:

      But her fucking voice…

      • 349
        Richard Desmond says:

        Not as good as the fucking voices of the birds on Television X.

  3. 3
    Gordon says:

    It seems he’s just the right man for the job.

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    You’d be hard pressed to find an MP who hasn’t ‘maxed out’ their claims.

    My MP has much the same figures – still waiting for The Telegraph to get around to the un-notable back benchers….

  5. 5
    Bob says:

    How about that nice G Brown?

  6. 8
    He's not for me .. says:

    Isn’t his wife a dedicated Labour supporter?

  7. 8
    it wont wash says:

    not at all.

  8. 10
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    Bercow would be disastrous for the HoC.He is, as pointed out, a trougher, lacks gravitas and the respect of the Commoms generally.The only thing against Frank Field is that he is one of the few thinking MPs and therefore valuable on the floor of the House, otherwise he would be an admirable choice

    • 226
      Pissed off voter says:

      He’s a dwarf with a bad attitude. As well as being a thieving hoon.

    • 525
      Sam says:

      Surely that’s why Labour is supporting him?
      Anything to bring disrepute to the Tory cause – all hands t’mill!

  9. 11
    It's all Balls says:

    No, no, no, no, no etc

    There are ‘clean’ MP’s – the Telegraph are now publishing their names. The Speaker must be clean

  10. 12
    Anonymous says:

    i want george galloway….payback time

    • 16
      Clartmonkey says:

      He would certainly need to be dragged kicking and screaming to the chair, given his attendance record at the House of Commons…

      • 121
        thick as thieves says:

        clartmonkeyboy,
        we are just slinging out all the thieves and the last thing we need right now are lying c’unts like you spraying your garbage smears around.
        you happen to be talking about one of the few honourable members of parliament to attend parliament on a daily basis. and whose expenses claims are not in question.
        so, tell me, monkeyboy, to which political party are you affiliated?
        oh and by attendance you are ofcourse deceitfully misrepresenting voting as an indicator of attendance.
        you must like pissing in the wind you fucking cripple.
        you must be stoned, right?
        for sure.

      • 168
        Clartmonkey says:

        Thick – I may call you Thick, mayn’t I? Or shall I just call you George?

        You’re not a hard man. Everybody in Scotland knows that ‘ex-boxer’ stuff is all made up. The only person you ever beat in a fight was your ex-wife.

        So cut the crap.

      • 183
        NewGirl says:

        most of us call him T-w-A-T

      • 207
        thick as thieves says:

        you are new here, so I will be as kind as I can.
        whatever your own views, you have not addressed my challenge that you were making a false accusation against an honourable member of Parliament.
        there are too few decent mp’s for scum like you to be allowed to attempt to discredit one by making false slurs.
        so do the right thing and retract your false smear or fuck off.
        oh, and you have just made a right c’unt of yourself on the record: on the most popular blog in the country, so – well done!
        well done cripple! gold star!
        you better come up with another name now I suppose. oh well.

      • 215
        thick as thieves says:

        new girl,
        I use to think you were a nice person but now I realize you are just a foul mouthed fishwife.
        you must be at least 45 maybe 50 so gord only knows what the fuck you think you are doing here acting as a tory cheerleader.
        you silly old tart, you’re making a right fool out of yourself.
        having you got some knitting you should be doing?

      • 234
        NewGirl says:

        ha ha fraid not TwAT. prefer goading you you tosser. you never thought i was nice you’ve always been foul to me.

      • 254
        thick as thieves says:

        that’s very funny new girl: considering I have bashed more brains out of tory and labour and lib dem trolls than you have had hot dinners, that’s funny.
        you silly cripple.
        raise your game new girl or fuck off.
        you are becoming a bore.
        and so soon!

      • 266
        NewGirl says:

        oh go and take your medication, you weirdo.

      • 351
        Gallows for Galloway says:

        George “browntongue” Galloway, Saddam’s bitch, media-whore, fat, irritating scottish twat whose self righteous, vain ramblings make him even more odious.

        He sure earns a lot for a socialist, my guess is that he gives it all to the people and spends it on charity, surely..

      • 384
        Doctor Mick says:

        Thick as thieves is a bit touchy about the Palistinian Question. But he has a brilliant solution …. <the Jews should all just leave Israel. It’s that simple. Well at least he is.

      • 439
        Alien8n says:

        Hello NewGirl. TwAT being his usual self is he?

      • 494
        Doctor Mick says:

        Yeah Brain of Britain with Tourettes. duh!

      • 507
        NewGirl says:

        Hi Alien8n…Yeah, bless him, he’s NewGirl obsessed. What can I do?

    • 23
      Awaiting Moderation says:

      We can’t have a Speaker who is persona non grata in Canada.

      • 172
        thick as thieves says:

        why don’t fuck off to canada if you think it’s so great you fucking imbecile.
        I think you, and your boyfriend below, have some kind of obsessive disorder regarding your stalker like attacks on an honourable mp.
        you lot are fucking dangerous, you are very similar to revolutionary communists in the way you seek to undermine democracy.
        but, ofcourse, communism was defeated whereas hyper-capitalists like you really did blow your own brains out. you wankers. oh, and people with your type of disordered mindset took the rest of the economy down with you.
        yet here you are, a spent force, spouting your negative garbage about a person who happens to be an honourable mp.
        watch your tongues, traitors.
        I don’t really want to bash your brains out.
        but I will if I must…..

      • 259
        thick as thieves says:

        Oh, one of my zits just popped. Mummy!

      • 377
        Martin in Essex says:

        Thick,you want to have a word with your dealer because I think you got some bad shit there. Please be calm, read your comic and mummy will get you your teddy and a glass of milk.

      • 396
        Call me Infidel says:

        Honourable? As pointed out above Galloway was Saddam’s bitch. A man who sucks up to a mass murderer has no honour. Now fuck off and die you half-wit.

    • 25
      Anonymous says:

      He’d turn the mike off if anyone said something he didn’t like.

      • 506
        thick as thieves says:

        gallows and infidel,
        hmmm… what the fuck has donald rumsfeld selling mustard gas to saddam hussein got to do with this?
        hold on… gallows and infidel you are rumsfeld and cheney and I demand my $5.
        and the right to pull the lever when you two warmongering c’unts are strung up.
        just like saddam.
        you have set the precedent for war crimes and let’s be honest, everyone enjoys a good hanging, especially when c’unts like you are for the drop.

    • 129
      Catosays says:

      There’s a lot of people want him…..dead!

      • 175
        thick as thieves says:

        but nobody gives a fuck whether you’re dead or alive you c’unt!

      • 328
        Oliver says:

        Dear Thick, you should ask your mom not to put Smarties in you lunchbox.

      • 391
        Catosays says:

        Dear Thicko, I was rather hoping you’d pick on me.

        You are, without doubt, the most obnoxious pile of dogshit that has ever had the audacity to appear on this blog.

        You are the filling in a crap sandwich.

        You are the smegma on the end of Mandelson’s cock

        Now run along, you’re too young to play big boy’s games.

      • 404
        Sungei Patani says:

        I can’t think of a worse candidate for the role of speaker than that buffoon George Galloway. His record in voting in the House of Commons is abysmal; the following is from Wilkipedia:

        “Since the 2005 election, his participation rate has remained low, at the end of the year he had participated in only 15% of Divisions in the House of Commons since the general election, placing him 634th of 645 MPs – of the MPs below him in the rankings, one is the former Prime Minister Tony Blair, five are Sinn Féin members who have an abstentionist policy toward taking their seats, three are the speaker and deputy speakers and therefore ineligible to vote, and two have died since the election.”

        He is also quoted as saying:

        “If you are asking did I support the Soviet Union, yes I did. Yes, I did support the Soviet Union, and I think the disappearance of the Soviet Union is the biggest catastrophe of my life.”

        The Soviet Union was one of the worst tyranies in the history of mankind!

        He has also been free with taxpayers money. As a London MP he is not able to claim Additional Cost Allowance but in 2007/08 he claimed £1978 London Suppliment; £94,004 in Staffing Costs and £10,000 (a suspiciously round figure) for Communications and £11,096 for Staff Cover.

        This man is not fit to be an MP let alone the Speaker.

      • 502
        thick as thieves says:

        ah, a full congregation of cripples for me to heal.
        dear cripples,
        I may be a genius but I still find it puzzling that you all have such a low opinion of me yet you waste so much of your time and bile responding to my posts.
        very strange.
        but if you read my posts more closely and ponder upon my comments you will certainly become less cretinous and more intelligent.

        note to dr mick(lesbian:1stclass) you are a child killer apologist mick and your soul is destined to burn in hell for eternity for your wicked sins of inciting and celebrating the deaths of Palestinian children.
        you are a satanist dr mick and you and your fellow zionist war criminals and arms dealers are not welcome here.
        I am obsessed with peace and you are obsessed with violence.
        you’re probably paranoid schizophrenic mick, have you been assessed?

      • 510
        NewGirl says:

        you get weirder and weirder TwAT. Seeing as we are all “cripples” why do you blog your septic twaddle here?

      • 518
        thick as thieves says:

        weirder and weirder?
        one is either weird or one is not weird.
        and you, new girl, are a right fucking weird c’unt.
        you are out of your league and you are compounding your error by making your last pointless and vulgar post.
        meanwhile I have been building an argument for the more intelligent reader to appreciate.
        you fucking dullard new girl!
        DOH!

        ps you tory daleks keep questioning people’s mental health, bit of a new labour thing to do innit?
        and your leader, dave cameron is well fucking dodgy.
        dodgy ‘no change’ dave is less trustworthy than del boy.
        dave can’t be trusted.
        hung parliament please!

      • 526
        Samantha says:

        DON’T FEED THE TROLL

        As for ‘Gorgeous George’ and ‘Honourable’ being mentioned in the same sentence – words fail me.
        One of my closest friends lives in the constituency, and her verdict on the election in which GW won his seat is unprintable in polite company (or even this company)

      • 547
        thick as thieves says:

        note to samanatha: you must be a crackhead, right?
        “don’t feed the trolls?”
        but you ARE a troll you silly fucking bitch!
        you are a tory troll.
        fucking hell! where do they get dopey c’unts like you from samantha?
        I am independently minded, you dullard.
        try harder to keep up or fuck off to conservativefoam.
        thankyou.
        what a total cripple!

  11. 15
    I should No says:

    He’s a weasel

  12. 17
    pp says:

    Regarding expenses MPs are not coming clean, they are just keeping their heads down hoping they will be missed.

    There is a risk that anyone chosen now will be found to have skeletons in their closet.

    Labourlist have started a list of clean MPs (4 so far), maybe a more general effort should be started to identify the clean ones before a new speaker is chosen.

    Currently there are far too many ‘unknown’ s

  13. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Is John Bercow a Labour MP or does he just act like one?

    • 33
    • 68
      God no .. says:

      I thought that at one time he was going to cross the floor – his wife is a devout Labour (Blairite?)

    • 74
      Buckingham Constituent says:

      A while ago rumour had it that he was about to cross the floor. Shame he didn’t make it, cos then Buckingham could have a real Conservative MP instead of a greasy pole climbing sham.

      He did join Gordon’s GOAT (Government Of All the Talents) as a specialist in something or other. Don’t know if he still is a member.

      Perhaps even worse than his Leftist opinions is the fact that he is a career politician. What we need now are politicians who have been successful at something else first.

      • 476
        anonymous says:

        Then he realised that Brown was a fucking disaster and that if he crrossed the floor he’d probably be booted out at a General Election which he still could be so the Speaker’s Chair is an escape route.Fort God’s Sake keep him out at all costs !

        If Cable wont stand it’s got to be Frank Field

    • 523
      Stuart says:

      His wife is a labourite

      • 528
        Allan@Aberdeen says:

        Bercow is married? Not a civil partnership, but a marriage – to a woman?

  14. 19
    Anonymous says:

    Widdecombe, no bloody chance.

    She voted to exempt MPs from the Freedom of Information Act FFS!!

  15. 20
    Archie McPherson says:

    What about Ken Purchase, Labour trougher for Wolverhampton? He’s been there for years, has never done a thing, and he looks exactly like Eeyore. If they elected him they could have a character from Winnie the Pooh talking poo to the poo. You know it makes sense.

  16. 22
    Margy says:

    We need a tory or liberal speaker. Another labour numpty just wouldn’t been acceptable. After all labour are the party who have spent 12 years trying to destroy anything good in this country and they have basically trashed the place.

    • 34
      Anonymous says:

      How a good, solid, honest backbencher with a long record of honesty and public service like Ben Bradshaw, Geoffrey Clifton-Brown, or Dawn Butler?

      • 64
        Plato says:

        :shock:

        Can I have a jacuzzi with my vote?

      • 80
        Anonymous says:

        We couldn’t have Ben Bradshaw because he is a cock.

      • 162
        Little Miss B says:

        Oh please Plato

        Don’t disturb my shagging

        It’s so nice in the Jacuzzi..

        Does lots of his things you know…

      • 171
        Awaiting Moderation says:

        Bum Bradshaw isn’t a ‘backbencher’, unless this is a new slang term for a player of the pink oboe.

      • 208
        Dick Cheese says:

        Pink oboe is so yesterday.
        The phrases du jour are ‘cigar warbler’ or ‘parsnip fishing’. (from the decayed mind of Sir Bufton Tufton)

      • 512

        I hadnt seen about geoffrey clifton-brown before.
        (What an intellectual giant he must be – Eton then an agricultural college).

        Paying the interest on a £500k mortgage so he can live in a manor house.
        Sorry, but next to that £2400 on a bathroom suite is bloody reasonable.

    • 61
      lololo says:

      Why are you planning for a new speaker,lets get rid of this crowd of MP’s first or have you already forgotten.
      Election Now.

      • 110
        Martin in Essex says:

        It would take stuffing a red hot poker up Browns arse to get him to call an election.

      • 160
        Anonymous says:

        Naah, he’d enjoy that too much.

      • 217
        Mrs Martin says:

        The replacement will likely survive the next election – “speaker seeking reelection” goes on ballot paper and they are usually unopposed in any real sense.

      • 225
        Susie says:

        And there you have it. Dave now risks being saddled with another Labour placeman for the next 10 years. That’s why he didn’t sign the order paper.

        If it’s a majority vote on party lines it will be the third Labour Speaker in a row. Not good.

  17. 26
    Mrs Ian Austin says:

    Gordon often says Ian is a moving speaker.

    Vote for Ian Austin the MP’s Mp.

  18. 28
    Guinevere says:

    This’ll be a desperate pre-emptive strike to keep Ming Campbell off the speaker’s chair.

    there are those who want genuine reform of parliament

    and there are those who want to make it appear that they want genuine reform of parliament. Bercow comes squarely under the latter heading.

    • 43
      Man of Straw (not Jack, of course) says:

      Ming has also had his snout in the trough, though.

      Alan Beith is the dull but probably clean preference.

  19. 30

    Bercow is a Red Tory – we don’t want him, unless of course you fancy a Speaker without real principles or gravitas. The man’s a muppet.

  20. 30
    Porky Pies MP says:

    The problem with pigs is that they are likely to vote for more troughing. One fool of a sketch writer being interviewed on Sky News this afternoon suggested – wait for it… Jack Straw!!!! Jack Fucking Straw!!!! Can you believe that? The mind doesn’t just boggle it shuts down completely.

    • 48
      bergen says:

      Dear God,that would be advanced lunacy.

      • 88
        Papiere - zeigen mir Ihre Papiere - schnell! says:

        Herr Jackboot Strawman??

        Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…….

    • 116
    • 529
      Samantha says:

      That’s on a par with the Times writer a couple of days ago who in all seriousness put forward – wait for it! – Gerald Kaufmann. Gott im Himmel!

      I used to be part of a syndicate set up to raise funds for hunt staff facing legal fees, and we had a filly called ‘Dame Gerald’. But Wetherbys had been primed to veto the name LOL – so we had to call her something innocuous like Country Pursuit

      What a pompous twat, to even veto a horse being called by your well-known Commons nickname
      Apparently the veto came formt he horse’s mouth, so to speak (but not Speak- Er…)

  21. 32
    Anonymous says:

    Frank Ifield – though the yodelling might be annoying

  22. 35
    righty right wing (mrs) says:

    More sticking plasters & useless offerings.

    Surely the “Court of Public Opinion” counts

    Guido for Mr Speaker – first act:

    Dissolve Parliament.

  23. 36
    MI5 says:

    Who is John Bercow

    never heard of him

    Must be something fishy…

    • 60
      Anonymous says:

      Well known slimeball.

    • 71
      Desperate Dan says:

      John Bercow is a midget so you’ve probably missed him. He’s a bit like Alan Duncan only fifty times worse.

    • 343
      Himself says:

      With a name like Bercow he IS one of them!

    • 481
      Anonymous says:

      He sits nominally on the Conservative benches for Buckingham but he might as well be sitting on the Labour benches. He used to be a right wingTory but found the power of “lurve” and his other half is an arch-Blairite Does that answer the question ?

  24. 37
    Alex says:

    What happened in 2005/6? Seems to have lost his way or was that just due to the GE giving funny numbers for some MPs?

  25. 40

    What about Sir Ming? He’s already got the main trappings of a Speaker , namely the fully expensed king-sized bed, scatter cushions and a plasma television, plus its his birthday this Friday.

  26. 42
    Unsworth says:

    The very fact that Labour backbenchers are ‘pushing’ anyone at all is sufficient reason for that individual to be deleted from any list of candidates. Are these people stupid or what? Do they seriously believe that the public has any faith in their choice(s)?

    These monsters are all completely untrustworthy. Why was there not a single backbench Labour voice raised when all this thievery was going on (well, maybe one or two such as Hoey, but even then only recently)? And now they expect us simply to swallow their choice?

    Nope, they’ve completely fucked public trust. It won’t be restored for years.

    • 143
      Anonymous says:

      After the election the only place you will see the Labour Party will be in the history books because as a political party they are finished kapput, down the drain and thoroughly fucked.

      • 173
        Anonymous says:

        Got to watch out for Labours postal votes, because the are as crooked as a donkeys hind leg.

      • 532
        Samantha says:

        All the broadsheet commentators wrote that afer the Foot debacle.

        We will have another scenario where the shell of the moribund – and now disgraced – party can be taken over by a cell wishing to trade on the party’s history, while having no roots therein. Another succubus: just like ‘Noo Lieboor’.

        Labour is finished and was in the Thatcher era since it was founded on Union aspirations and subsequent power. Now those are defunct and meaningless, it’s just a suit to be worn by the grabbiest entity

        What Marx said about history – ‘History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce’.
        So we all know what to expect

    • 227
      Susie says:

      Preeeecisley!

    • 366
      Donkeys hind leg says:

      Hey? What have I done????

  27. 44
    Save Our Souls says:

    John Bercow is Jewish

    Watch for the Mandelson plant…

  28. 46
    george says:

    Guido,

    I have just written to Michael Gove to explain why he will fail to retake his seat at the next election. It is the same with Bercow and the rest of them. By the time the election is called, be it three months or a year, every voter in every constituent will have access to the sitting MP’s record on expense claims and their majority will be destroyed through viral campaigns and straightforward attacks by the other parties.

    MPs of all parties seem to be hoping to return to Parliament without the votes they need to get back in. They truly do live in another world.

    http://howtoremoveyourmp.blogspot.com/

  29. 47
    youskumtayfuq says:

    Niver mind aw ra crap aboot a new speaker!!!!!!!!
    Ah mean wha’s gonnae stuff aw they postal vote envelopes an “at fur ra bye-election fur when he goes tae the Lords ??
    Aye, its aw right fur yous bit if we dinnae get oor fingers oot o” oor jeer holes an get votin early and often big Gordy “ll be reamin oot oor erses wae his size tens!!!!!!!!

  30. 50
    Desperate Dan says:

    Which Labour backbenchers? I need to know where to direct my contempt apart from at the poisoned dwarf.

  31. 52
    Lee Enfield says:

    Julian Clarey

  32. 53
    Stalin MacSporran says:

    O/T has anyone noticed, Amazon has pulled all the reviews of Dolly Draper’s stupid fucking book?

    Has the sad little bitch had a little moan to Amazon?

    • 77
      It's all Balls says:

      Could be because they’ve a warehouse full and can’t shift them.

      I mean – who would buy it apart from his Mom?

    • 84
      Anonymous says:

      He complained so Amazon removed all the reviews.

      Seem to be some new ones though…….

      http://www.amazon.co.uk/Life-Support-Derek-Draper/dp/1848500440/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1242748422&sr=8-1

      • 214
        Moley says:

        Reprinted courtesy of Amazon as a public service.

        37 of 39 people found the following review helpful:

        1.0 out of 5 stars Poor Read, 16 April 2009
        By L. Branaghan “liambr” (UK) – See all my reviews
        (REAL NAME)
        I read this through and didn’t really enjoy it. Plot was thin, and was very amatuerish, waste of a read.

        8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

        1.0 out of 5 stars dire, glad I didn’t spend my own money on it, 2 May 2009
        By Titus Groan (London) – See all my reviews
        Someone at work abandoned a copy of this in the kitchen so, with Draper being in the news, I picked it up out of interest. I read the first 50 pages or so on a train the following day and I was amazed at just how bad it was. I’d kind of assumed that Draper had some talent, albeit the kind of talent I really don’t approve of, but how wrong I was. A pointless book that simply rehashes advice from other, much better, works by people with some real understanding of human nature. I can’t think that this would have been published if the author hadn’t been (in)famous for other reasons.

        3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

        1.0 out of 5 stars How to save a drowning man…, 18 May 2009
        By Sarah Ashworth (UK) – See all my reviews
        (REAL NAME)
        …if you would care enough to save the author from the current, self inflicted predicament in which he finds himself, then by all means throw him a lifeline and buy this book.

        However, for those amongst you who are less altruistic in nature – who may simply be searching for well reasoned, non-patronising and genuinely helpful advice, written by someone with unquestionable knowledge, experience and integrity – then I would advise you to look elsewhere, as you won’t find it here.

      • 422
        Anonymous says:

        Reads like a review of the last 10 years

    • 498
      Anonymous says:

      It’ll be remaindered soon in “Bookends” at £2.99 along with those other tomes of wisdom by Blunkett,Prescott,Campbell and Blair(Cherie)

  33. 54
    Anonymous says:

    +++ LibDem Sir Alan Beith announces Speaker Bid +++

    http://www.alanbeith.org.uk/news/000369/beith_responds_to_resignation_of_speaker_martin.html

    Obviously trying to get a head start on Cable and Ming!

  34. 56
    PM says:

    Vince Cable.

    • 85
      eye-eye says:

      At least it would keep him off TV

    • 101
      Anonymous says:

      We’ve had one conman, we don’t want another.

    • 499
      The BBC - it's what we do says:

      We must regrettfully decline to support that suggestion. Who would we have as our resident “Economics Guru” ? It’s almost as bad as if Robert Peston was standing for Director General

  35. 57
    Angry White Male says:

    I suggest Nadine Dorries, purely on aesthetic grounds, as I just can’t stand the thought of looking at Ann Widdecombe every time I see reports from the House of Commons. Also, if she has a ‘grace and favour’ apartment, at least we will know where she lives.

    • 104
      Anonymous says:

      No point in Nadine doing it when she’s going to be deselected before the next election.

      • 155
        Angry White Male says:

        Good point, although according to Dizzy and Ian Dale (if I remember rightly) she might have a good enough explanation concerning her living arrangements. I must say, I find her quite appealing.

    • 181
      Nadine Dorries says:

      Get me the job and I’ll wear a tight leather miniskirt every day. Of course, all in the best possible taste.

      • 240
        John Prescott says:

        Phwooooorrr!! Eh? Eh?

      • 361
        Kelly McGillis says:

        Guess where Nadine was yesterday when virtually every MP was in the Commons to hear the Speaker apologising for Members’ freeloading off the tax-payer?

        According to her blog, she earned her day’s pay having a corking old time enjoying a flight in an RAF jet (just a guess, but I expect said aircraft was commissioned for something a little more important than taking troughing bimbos on round-trips of the Cotswolds).

        Chocks away!

      • 402
        Buffy says:

        Up where we belong

    • 470
      Abolish the Licence Fee says:

      Widdecombe’s very anti free speech, too. On that ground alone she shouldn’t get the job.

      • 535
        Samantha says:

        Sooner she’s out of Parliament the better – she supported the Hunting Bill like a dedicated leftie, doing the foul bidding of Elliott Morley anbd Tony Banks

        On the other hand she’s about the only person I’ve seen to give Kirsty Squawk a bloody nose, and that was in the John Major era, when AW was regularly on Newsnight

    • 500
      Anonymous says:

      But she’d be “somewhere else” at weekends

  36. 58
    eye-eye says:

    I’d vote for Jordan, she would certainly keep the attention of most Hon. Members

  37. 59
    Parliamentiary Member for Ashfield says:

    What about me?

    The current Speaker is a Hoon – let’s keep it in the family!

  38. 64
    Tory Dan says:

    John Bercow is a fucking leftist traitor, member of the TRG as well so he’s a commie.

    After Quentin Davies he should of had the whip withdrawn.

    • 102
      Esther "Gissa Job" Rantzen says:

      He’s in Gordy’s Big Tent.

      • 319
        Steve the Hammer says:

        Fleck off you silly moo, whoever you are. Instead of standing against Margaret Moron – someone who’s doomed anyway – and depriving a Tory of a cert seat, why don’t you stand against somebody far more vile who mightn’t otherwise lose their seat – Ed Balls perhaps

    • 145
      Catosays says:

      Ahem….’should have had’ is correct.

    • 308
      Steve the Hammer says:

      What on earth is going on in the heads of Quentin Davies and presumably John Bercow? Joining Labour? Sucking up to Labour? Looks like all time losers willingly climbing aboard the Titanic, even in the knowledge that it’s doomed!

  39. 66
    Whiffler says:

    Or ……. William Hague.

    Parliamentarian to his toes, forthcoming battles with EU (,ark my word).

    Long-term reform

    Quick on his feet

    Discuss

  40. 70
    Twizzle says:

    Didn’t think about this, did they?

    Mmm? Now who hasn’t been shafting the taxpayer for every penny they possibly can?

    Why not Carswell? They say they need a leader and he certainly led Martin out the back door.

  41. 75
    Alun, Westbury says:

    Yes – the last couple of Private Eye’s have warned against this. He has a stupendous memory (at least he would know the names of MPs) and has become quite ‘wet’ in a rock-solid Conservative seat. There are other candidates of real back-bone.

    No wonder he is desirable to Nu-Old Lab. May just slip in.

    Dangerous.

    • 93
      MI5 says:

      Very dangerous

      Might be “used” by NuLabour to COVER UP (AGAIN)

      GORBALS MUST HAVE LEFT AN AWFUL MESS IN THE SPEAKERS HOUSE AND FEES OFFICE..DANGEROUS EVIDENCE AGAINST NEW LABOUR

      THEY WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET A “TAME SPEAKER” ELECTED TO STOP “SPEAKER GORBALS” (and others) GOING TO JAIL

      • 276
        Papiere - zeigen mir Ihre Papiere - schnell! says:

        Don’t vorry, mein undercover frieund – it vos all shredded ages ago…

  42. 82
    Anonymous says:

    John Prescott

    • 106
      I'm the Great Prezza says:

      Oh Please leave me alone

      I know that I am greatest BUFOON that Nu Labour ever invented

      But I deserve PEACE to appreciate my ill gotten gains..

      And I am RETIRING AT THE NEXT ELECTION (hope Plod doesn’t catch up with me before that)…

      oink oink

    • 153
      Catosays says:

      Now here’s a laugh….Denis Skinner!

      • 163
        Anonymous says:

        Skinner = loud mouthed gobshite, hypocrite, pervert, and cock-sucker to Brown.

      • 174
        Bolsover says:

        Don’t be fooled by Skinner’s man of the people act. It’s a con. You hardly see him in the constituency and when you do he’s an arrogant cocky twat.

        Most people in Bolsover can’t stand the prick.

  43. 86
    I think he's a .. says:

    Tosser

  44. 89
    ern says:

    Get Kate Hoey – someone who could really sort these men out, she’d put them through their paces, whip them into shape and have them jumping through hoops for their expenses.

  45. 90
    lifting a glass to Guido in Margaux & thanking heaven I don't have to live in your shitty country says:

    Before we all finish celebrating the departure of the glasgae trougher & the sight of mendacious MP’s writhing in faux contrition, let’s not forget that there was another party to this fraud. Journalists & columnists in all the papers.
    Can anyone explain to me how people who were in constant contact with MP’s, broke bread with them, shared holidays with them in a few cases were even married to them never noticed that a £64kpa salary seemed to be stretching an awful long way. Where did they think that individuals who’d never held down a proper job in their lives were getting the money to have extensive property portfolios & houses full of luxury furniture?
    Was the presumption that they were fiddling their expenses better than the other obvious explanation? That they were on the take?
    It’s time to be asking who else knew what was happening & kept quiet.

    • 113
      MI5 says:

      Quite right Sir

      The Main Stream Press acted as prostitutes and abandoned their role as watchdogs..

      One reason why the rot is see deep…

      And a bugger to sort out…

    • 114
      It started in Scotland says:

      fuck off England’s Great, never had so much fun

    • 187

      They’re cronies of New Labour and should be punished along with them.

      • 260
        Anonymous says:

        And none more so than the BBC. When do we get to slim those fat Hoons down to size and see the details of their expenses? Especially that Nick Robinson. Whose gonna offer to prise him out of Browns arse?

        Those bastards fuckin knew all along. They knew that McBride was a Hoon and still is. They probably know that Gordon Brown was a party to it all along, you know our lovable leader so full of integrity! What a Hoon! I hope you all rot in hell for what you have done to this country. Don´t forget, don´t vote for any mainstream party until they have learned their lessons, like promising a referendum on Europe in their manifesto and then tearing it up! You deserve everything you have got coming to you. May you rot in hell forever you evil bastards.

  46. 92
    Anonymous says:

    OT

    Derek Draper desperately needs new reviews of his book on Amazon after all the others were deleted:

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Life-Support-Derek-Draper/dp/1848500440/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1242748422&sr=8-1

    • 229
      Moley says:

      See comment 214 above.

      (Use Edit -find).

      Reviews provided and well worth reading.

  47. 95
    dirtyden says:

    Is this more or less scary than the idea of Ann Widowmaker as the new Speaker?

    Why can’t we have that nice Kate Hoey instead?

    • 152
      Esther "Gissa Job" Rantzen says:

      Because Ann Widdicombe is wittier, more entertaining and more quotable. viz. “My hair shirt’s hairier than you hair shirt” – the most memorable quote of the week.

  48. 96
    Perry Neeham says:

    Athough they are both category ‘A’ shits John Bercow would be even more incompetent (and greedy) than Gorbals Mick.

  49. 97
    eye-eye says:

    Do we know if it will be a secret ballot yet?

  50. 98
    Plato says:

    I’m waiting to learn if my MP Charles Hendry has a good explanation

    http://www.theyworkforyou.com/mp/charles_hendry/wealden#expenses

    Joint 1st for 4 yrs [second for another] – he lives within 90 mins commuting of Westminster. I do the same journey as do hundreds of others from this constituency

    Can I have £23, 083 to make up my travel and sandwich cost?

    • 144
      London Train or Gravy Train? says:

      I had the temerity to ask the same question about my MP in neighbouring Lewes, “Saint” Norman Baker of The Expenses

      Our Norm claims an ACA of £21,862 for a second home, to aviod only the 60 minute commute that hundreds of Lewes commuters manage each day. As “shadow” *cough* Transport spokeman for the Lib Dems, I’d have thought he would love for the train to take the strain

      Bakers supporters on Iain Dale/Political Betting have recently taken to rounding on any questioning Saint Norman’s gravy train of being agents of The Nasty Party

    • 406
      Doctor Mick says:

      Yes but to be fair, do you often work past midnight or are you on the 5.21 like all the rest?

  51. 99
    lololo says:

    What a set of losers on here, they throw you a piece of red meat and your all fighting for it,nothings changed it’s still the same, they are still at it and you lot are guessing who will be the next speaker,how easy it is to satisfy the brainwashed.

    Election now.

    • 133
      eye-eye says:

      Assume lololo means Lots Of Labour Or Liberal Opinions

      • 165
        lololo says:

        no it’s just a crap name,it’s my opinion that your losing the main thread and need to be put back on track,Liebour/Libdum you gotta be kidding not a cat in hells chance.

      • 414
        Doctor Mick says:

        Well for someone who can’t spell for toffee it could just as easily have meant to be Lilo Lil.

        I knew her well.

  52. 105
    Angry White Male says:

    Frank Field would in my view be the best choice, although I would miss his incisive, well-informed and cliche-free contributions to debates on important issues.

    I somehow doubt though that they will give the job to a genuinely independent thinker and maverick such as Field.

  53. 108
    It started in Scotland says:

    I’m a Fuckwitt get me out of here, celebrity Blogger, the right Horrible two shits Prescott has yet to find the words to write about the Great Expenses Swindle

    What is up with you lard arse?

    Your blog states

    “The campaign’s main aims are to:

    1. Proudly defend the record of the Labour government since 1997
    2. Actively support the government in promoting policies that will build on our successes
    3. Encourage greater participation in the Labour Party
    4. Highlight the damage a Conservative government will do to Britain”

    Come on Prezza, but down that Vienetta and get those porky sausages tapping out on the keyboard, let us know what you think

    • 122
      I'm Prezza says:

      I’m too fooking scared mate to even move outside of my house…

      I know that I am a working class and world class coward

      Cant’ help it

      I was born that way…

      SO sod off

      • 368
        nell says:

        Nobody earning an MP’s salary and claiming the expenses that Prescott can claim to be working class! And please don’t tellme that Labour is working for the working classes – it might be working for the benefit cheats but it hasn’t worked for the genuine working classes for more than a generation.

  54. 109
    raisethegame says:

    What about Rob Marris, the Wolverhampton MP? – he was backbencher of the year apparently his expenses are amongst the lowest.
    Whoever gets the job must be squeaky clean. Ming Campbell is desperate to get it (he thought it was his last time) but his interior designer expense claim plus all that food should stop him dead in his upwardly mobile tracks.

    • 326
      Anonymong says:

      Have you seen him speak in the House? He’s a creep who jumps up as often as he can, has an opinion on everything and knows sod-all. He’s a mirthless, van-thumping (went to Court didn’t he?) tosser.

  55. 117
    Johnny Zero says:

    VINCE CABLE would make a great Speaker

    he understands the main Public mood and issues plus sounds so often like he is speaking common sence. Doubt if he would take the job but he would be one they all FEARED as he has such strong Public support across the Country

  56. 124
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Field is certifiable and in the wrong party – which I suppose is his ticket.

  57. 127
    Anonymous says:

    Plus, Ming Campbell is one of Brown’s toadies.

    • 198
      Awaiting Moderation says:

      Ming Campbell and Gordon Brown have another thing in common. They are both completely useless, but each assassinated his predecessor, even though he was the most successful ever leader of his party. They must have lots to talk about.

    • 201

      …and another trougher from north of Hadrian’s Wall.

  58. 130

    That bloke from Luton who hasn’t stolen anything, he’d do. Doesn’t need a genius, just an honest fair sort with a backbone.

    The Penguin.

    • 135
      dry rot says:

      Kelvin Hopkins? You must be joking. The reason he hasn’t claimed much is because he’s too dumb and too lazy to bother.

  59. 134
    Papiere - zeigen mir Ihre Papiere - schnell! says:

    Nein, Nein, Nein….

    Deputy Speaker Herr Sir Alan Hazelhurst ist die safest pair of hand und ideal to bring much needed calm und respect back to ze House. (zis iz no time for a novice!)..

  60. 136
    We don't want another one like that thank you very much! says:

    Exactly and on the subject of Martin, I see he’s been in the house for around 30 years, just imagine how much he has scammed in total!

    • 151
      Speaker Michael Martin says:

      More than you’ll fucking know…

      [humming] “I’m forever shredding expense receipts”!

  61. 137
    Andrew Motion says:

    Go for Minge Campbell, at least he’s got the honesty to admit he’s one.

  62. 138
    Boris says:

    You are another one ?

    Go directly to Barlinnie Prison please

    Without passing go…

  63. 139
    Anonymous says:

    I know nothing about the man (Bercow) but Guido’s figures are a bit misleading on this one.
    According to ‘They work for you’, his TOTAL expenses (as opposed to his ‘Additional Costs Allowance’) for 2007/8 are £103,436 – which make him 631st out of 645.

    See bottom line of table here:
    http://www.theyworkforyou.com/mp/john_bercow/buckingham#expenses

  64. 141
    Vince Cable MP says:

    I don’t want the fucking job. I’m making too much money doing “Safe Pair Of Hands” TV appearances.

  65. 142
    Kevin Maguire says:

    Tom Watson for speaker. Honest Tom would sort out all those greedy thieving Tory toffs!

    • 156
      Proper Geordie says:

      Haddaway an shite back to yer poncey fukken mansion in Surrey ye fukken limp prick.

  66. 146

    Sir Alan Beith chucks his sporran in the ring….http://tinyurl.com/py2ysf Is there a rule that only jocks can apply to be speaker?

  67. 157
    Icarus says:

    Here is a knut with lots of money

  68. 169
    Greychatter says:

    Lord Foulkes ( another Tougher ) Speaker Martin’s friend, on BBC news praising Gorbals Mick , says Michael Bercow for speaker!!

    Maybe we should have Fred Goodwin as speaker he could really show the troughing MPs how to get away with a fortune.

    • 178
      Bolsover says:

      Do you mean John Bercow?

      I’m not surprised to hear a Labour lackey of Brown’s advocating Bercow for speaker. The slimy turd is a Labour shill who almost joined them not so long ago..

    • 202
      MI5 says:

      If Foulkes says “Bercow for Speaker” its because the Labour Mafia have already done a “cover up” deal with Bercow…

      KISS OF DEATH

      STOP BERCOW I SAY

    • 237
      Desperate Dan says:

      Labour are a bit short of cash so Gordon is selling the Speaker’s Chair to whichever slush fund pays the most.

      • 323
        Florence Nighingale says:

        Lovely

        AT Sotheby’s I Hope

        Fetch a good price..

        Can they sell that National Treasure Prezza at the same time please ?

      • 449
        Doctor Mick says:

        Boil him down for lamp oil.

    • 387
      Greychatter says:

      John, Yes., Its the age, having worked through three Labours Balls-ups of the economy “one” is entitled to the odd slip-up!!

      There are so many troughers – at our time of life – they are all the same – Red, Blue or Yellow.

  69. 176
    lololo says:

    hat tip Speccy Coffeeshop.

    check this out it’s a heat map of all the our thieving gits and how much they the screwed us for.

    http://msn.shoothill.com

  70. 180
    court of public opinion says:

    the speaker needs to come from outside of the westminster cabal………

    they are all hoons-wake up!!!!!!!!!

  71. 184
    Rexel 56 says:

    Obvious choice: Adam Afriyie

    He’s honest
    He’s talented
    He’s young
    He’s a bloody good constituency MP
    He ain’t no trougher

  72. 185
    ed says:

    To shut the dopey fucker up.

  73. 186
    It's all Balls says:

    Finding an honest MP is proving to be a challenge.

    It makes you wonder how they manage sex when so many of them have small, thin squiggly tails

  74. 188
    Caligula says:

    Isn’t there a lovely lesbian MP whip wielder to keep all the MP boys (and girls) in line ?

    Who has already “outed” herself ?

    I want TOTTY for speaker…

  75. 190
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    What about Malcolm Rifkind. He’d look good in the outfit and has the sort of presence the job needs, is competent, experienced and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind turning out on a Friday.

    Failing him I suggest the Duke of Edinburgh. He’d also look good in the outfit, has the sort of presence the job needs, is competent, experienced, tolerant of foreigners.
    He could tell the Queen what was going on, saving all those wasteful trips to Buckingham Palace, which is just up the road so no ACA problems.
    He probably has the authority to get people shot, which is always useful.

    • 209
      Voltaire says:

      In a peaceful democracy you must always shoot a few pople

      as Voltaire said after Admiral Bing was shot for losing Minorca

      “Pour encourager les autres”

      (“To encourage the others” for non-Frog speakers)

    • 228
      Esther "Gissa Job" Rantzen says:

      Malcolm Rifkind is a member of the Jewish community and therefore labours under the delusion that he’s cleverer and more worthy than he is. He’s also an arms dealer and has a private army.

      • 515
        Jethro says:

        … while the names ‘Esther’, and ‘Rantzen’ sound very Home counties…

  76. 193
    Anonymous says:

    They should call an election now and choose a new speaker from the new Parliament. We shouldn´t allow any one to stand unopposed as the speaker any more. This is another piece of shit that has to go.

    One down 650 to go!

    • 213
      Tattooed_Arry says:

      Agree, incidently what would happen if the new Speaker was deselected or lost his seat at the election. Does he/she remain as speaker?

      • 231
        Anonymous says:

        They would have to elect a new speaker from within the new parliament.

        No more standing as the speaker unopposed, it is not democratic. It gives them a fuckin job for life and leads to corruption, so get rid of it now. You listening again? I don´t mean Labour cos they don´t listen and only give a fuck about themselves. You have been warned, read this and act!

        While I´m talking about changes, what do you think about this.

        None of those thieving bastards should be allowed to cross the floor of the House, without holding a by-election first, none of those cosy deals any more. It´s the electorate who must decide, it´s their seat. No more cosy deals on this one either.

      • 353
        Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

        I don’t think all speakers should be judged by the antics of this plank.
        Boothroyd, Wetherill and Thomas were all good at the job, and it is Martin’s unsuitability, both intellectual and politically, that has brought the role into disrepute. Choose a competent person with the ability to appreciate that the job is above party politics and there should be no problem.

        I can’t see Bercow as a suitable candidate, and neither could anyone else unless he stood on a box. I bet the Chipmunk could spit on his head.

  77. 199
    Annihalationmax says:

    Bercow once told a friend of a friend of mine that he HAD to stay in politics as he could never get a job that paid as well as the salary of an MP.
    OFF-TROUGH here we come.

    A thoroughly modern politician he must not be considered. Ann Widdecomb would be the best choice.

    • 246
      Anonymous says:

      Ann Widdecombe would knock some heads together. She’s like an old-fashioned Matron who could even get the big-wig consultants running scared. She wouldn’t stand any nonsense. And she’s one of the lowest expenses claimers. Moreover, I reckon she’d get the public vote. She has enough of a high profile to be known to the general public and has proved herself to be straightforward and honest – not concerned with looks and superficialities – more concerned with “doing the right thing”. And she’s got pretty good judgement where that’s concerned, too, and she’s not afraid to go against the tide.

      • 426
        Gallows for Galloway says:

        Ann widdecombe is a fat cun+ whose sermon like drone about the virtues of “english life” she reminds me of a parish councillor in a small village, the sort of self righteous indignation that makes you want to beat her to death with a bat.

        I’d like to see her vs george galloway though in a fight to the death involving chainsaws

        : * )

      • 434
        Sungei Patani says:

        Agreed.

  78. 200
    John Prescott MP says:

    I’ll do the job so long as I can lift the Speaker’s seat and do a shite without leaving the Chamber.

  79. 204
    It started in Scotland says:

    How about John Reid? He appears to be an intelligent, rational and well balanced, failing that how about Blunkett’s dog?

    • 220
      Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

      Is he allowed in the HOC? I’ve never seen him, nor heard him bark.
      Is he allowed to crap on the lawn, and can Blunkett claim expenses for an assistant to scoop it up, since I presume he’d have difficulty locating it safely himself.

  80. 209
    Gordon Out says:

    Bring us a lady in suspenders rather than a man in tights

    • 245
      Moley says:

      The first sensible suggestion I’ve seen.

    • 394
      nell says:

      Hazel Blears – otherwise she’s going to be out of a job – mind she might be a bit drowned in that outfit and she definitely needs the wig to cover up her carrot topping.

  81. 212
    Monkey Chops says:

    The only qualifications are thus:
    1) No troughing to date
    2) Get the moron to answer a question at PMQs

    That’s all. It’s only going to be for a month or two anyway.

  82. 216
    Pissed off voter says:

    I think that some of the expense claims that have been refused and or reduced by the fees office can be as informative as the obscene claims that have been granted. They will certainly say something about the claimant and might be useful in persuading plod to get off his police backside. Also, there seems to be some level of contradiction in claims granted/refused. Is there a pattern?

    Was there a particular period when claims allowed were more lax or less lax?

    Were claims more lax/less lax for particular individuals or groups of people? parties, committees, business groups, etc.?

    Was an identical item allowed one time but not another?

    Was authorisation down to more than one individual in the fees office? were they given different instructions?

    Was there an ‘official’ green book and one ‘in a plain brown cover’?

    Maybe Mr Brogan will be kind enough to publish those claims which were partly or completely refused (with dates).

  83. 218
    He is the first sheet metal worker to become speaker says:

    On a visit in south London, Prime Minister Gordon Brown told reporters: “This is a matter for the House of Commons. Michael Martin has been a very, very good Speaker.”

    Labour veteran Tony Benn today gave his support to Mr Martin, calling him one of the “very, very best” of the nine speakers he had sat under.

    He told GMTV: “It’s a really tough job and he does it really, really well. The thing is he is a backbenchers’ speaker. Tony Blair did not want him as speaker but the House voted for him.

    “His wife has a lot of responsibility to undertake entertaining and they are trying to get at her. He is the first sheet metal worker to become speaker, it is supposed to be a very grand position

    • 315
      Florence Nighingale says:

      OH

      FFS

      Did they let Looney Benn out of the looney bin ?

      Nurse…please..

    • 410
      nell says:

      I’m fed up with hearing about him being a sheet metal worker.

      He’s been troughing in Parliament for 30 years – how long was he a sheet metal worker? – not that long presumably. This is just a vain mirage Labour and Martin himself have used over the years to portray him as working class – which he clearly is not. No more is Prescott.

      What working class person do you know has the walls of his/her grace and favour apartment papered with hand made wallpaper that costs more than its weight in gold?

    • 478
      newsed1 says:

      Ah, Benn. The man who destroyed the British car industry, over dinner with Harold, in 1968.

      When he speaks the words ’sheet metal worker’ the old toff doesn’t know what it means, but he worships the idea of a manual worker.

      He’s been defending them for decades…though he might have done a better job if he knew anything about manual work.

      We also got a flash of the good old days of trade union intimidation from Mick. His bollocking of Hoey must have reminded a few people of the days when the union thugs made sure all the workers were on side…

      • 497
        Doctor Mick says:

        And closed more coal mines than Thatcher ever did. Aye he did. What the fuck does he know about shit metal workers? Let him withdraw his pipe and give discourse.

  84. 219
    Dr Feelgood says:

    Having followed Guido’s link http://waugh.standard.co.uk/2009/05/prezza-as-gracious-as-ever.html, it’s got to be Prezza for Speaker. Think of the fun we’d all have.

    • 544
      Sir Barrington Minge says:

      I hear that Homer Simpson is not busy right now.

      He’s more intelligent than the whole lot put together.

      Other possibilities -

      Timmy Mallet
      Paris Hilton
      The Chuckle Brothers
      The other Cheeky Girl
      Bono (but possibly a bit to holier-than-thou)
      Peter Andre (not busy just now)
      A stuffed weasel

  85. 221
    lololo says:

    Brown’s on Sky now,no change then, same crap out of a crap PM.

    • 263
      Susie says:

      He’s touting his new statutory authority to rule Parliament as if it’s a done deal… not so fast sunshine, Cameron and Clegg need to flag up this pronto. There is only one solution and that’s an election.

      • 491
        Harpic (cleans round the bend) says:

        Brown has proposed this before and been shot down in flames. His idea is to set it up and then privatise it. Once that is done the claims fall outside the scope of the F.O.I. act

  86. 223
    Anonymous says:

    Surely Bercow must have stuff in his past which could be dragged up if he is a serious contender.

  87. 224
    Scorched Earth says:

    Chris Mullin is an interesting name.
    He wasn’t cut out to be a Party hack in the halls of Power and might be a unfying “anti-establishment” figure for many on the Labour back benches.

    Though to be honest it’s probably going to be a Lib or a Conservative this time out. I would bet on it being a Liberal.

    Christ! Brown has started the hagiography bullshit about Martin.

    Oh here we go.. Blah Blah blah ,broken systems, blah blah blah, trust lost, blah blah blah, not regained overnight, blah blah blah, tough rules!!!

    Thanks for stating the bleeding obvious Gordy and ensuring any future statement on the subject will be ignored as P.R. horseshit.

    • 251
      Desperate Dan says:

      Chris Mullin’s book shows that he’s a whinging whiner with an over-developed sense of his own importance who hates the British but loves illegal immigrants and wants to send what money we have left to third world crooks.

      • 284
        Scorched Earth says:

        “Whinging whiner with an over-developed sense of his own importance” applies to the lot of them. As for not wanting to string up em immigrantz furrinners, I believe you are correct and indeed he does seem to believe in giving Aid to the needy as opposed to Billions to Bankers say.

        You are missing the larger point though.

        Martin was shit BECAUSE he was still a Party hack at heart.

        There will be no appetite for anyone remotely resembling a Party Yes man/woman from any quarter. Be it Con Lib or Lab. And whatever Personal Politics they may have pursued before the Speakership will have to be ditched immediately as the Commons will demand a Parliamentarian first and foremost for the new Speaker.

        Besides, I’d still bet on it being a Lib. “Their turn” and all that.

    • 261
      caesars wife says:

      his book i think is his retirement package

  88. 230
    Gooey Blob says:

    Brown has announced that no Labour MPs will be allowed to stand if they have broken the rules. The point is, none of them did. The rules are as bent as a nine pound note.

    What a pathetic cop-out. He has to get rid of the troughers in the cabinet, but he’s clearly not strong enough.

    So weak.

  89. 232
    Anonymous says:

    That Prentice bloke would get my vote.

  90. 233
    Paul Nash says:

    How about the Conservative MP for Thanet North – Roger Gale? Been around for ages and seems to be relatively clean.

  91. 235
    Anonymous says:

    Watching Gordon Twasnaeme McSnot live. Looks like he’s got a right cob on. Has Gorbals Mick dropped him in it for not supporting him? i.e. he knew Broon would be answering the press today so Snotman could avoid the questions and also forces a bye-election at the worst possible time. LOL!

    Looks like payback time to me.

    • 239
      Florence Nighingale says:

      Is he alive ?

      Do tell !

      Panic over ?

      • 252
        Anonymous says:

        Lol! The pleasures of the English language.

        BTW instead of “…so Snotman could..” should read “…so Snotman couldn’t…”

  92. 236
    Car Crash Spotter says:

    Guido

    Please can you organise a CAR CRASH this evening…??

    Like Gordon Brown’s Rolls Royce taking down Admiralty Arch on his way to see the Queen (with all his troughers in it)

    On love TV please

    Plod might finally get angry and arrest him don’t you think ?

    Thanks

    Your only Car Crash Spotter

    PS I know it is the sort of thing you used to do yourself (in your youth of course)

  93. 242
    PM says:

    Boris Johnson as an outside bet.

  94. 243
    tisfedup says:

    what a wanker brown is

    • 247
      dirtyden says:

      You said it. On Sky right now he’s basically talking himself into a war with the oppo. He’s utterly, utterly useless. And his rank hypocrisy is about to catch up with him.

      “Hazel Blears’ actions were unacceptable and she’s accepted that”.

      Wanker.

  95. 253
    No to Bercow says:

    Bercow is a Hoon. That is all that needs to be said on the matter.

  96. 256
    caesars wife says:

    listening to brown , sound like hes got a boring handle on the job , labour operation its was all Michael Martins fault is underway. outsourcing it a quango tut tut .

    Give new mr speakers the current powers , but reform expenses into simpler regeim , record all lobby meetings , publish mps second jobs payments .

    remember it was crooked labour and crooked speaker !! despite what brown waflles on with , the only issue is pay that needs a redress ,it doesnt need some vast quango, expenses will occure no matter what .

    totally agree berco is labour shill , widdecombe going to lords , vince or ming would be interesting , but Frank Field , has the experince has often told corrupting whips to shove it , just if he wants manager role rather than maverick.

    following patrick mcormacks subtle grenade i did wonder as he has the experience .

    listend to dave o five live , he took both barrels rather well , some real public anger was on him bit unfair giving him his personal fortune vs being paid for the job dilemma . The payment is for anyone who does the job and takes into account that you may not be wealthy , quite if you are wealthy you shouldnt claim is non sensical when you look at it

  97. 257

    Just been listening to the Prime Minister’s press conference. When asked if Hazel Blears will go, Brown said she has paid the money back, her conduct is unacceptable but she had not broken any rules.

    So much for “Any Labour MP who has broken any rules will not be allowed to stand at the next election”. In his eyes, none of them have broken the MPs rules set by themselves for themselves. So they will all be standing!

    Ampers

  98. 258
    Dream On says:

    Is this Brown’s car crash,just as we had the speakera yesterday,Brown is pure spin.

    • 281
      Susie says:

      Wish some of the journos would rock the casbah a bit… like ask whether this new Quango is agreed to by Parliamentary consensus on a free vote.

      Brown says he’s been talking to ’some people’ — which people? Unemployed accountants from Arthur Anderson (Enron)? The board of RBS? Which fucking people</b? are going to be given exec control of Parliament you washed up twister?

      • 342
        Aberdeen Agnes McDayie says:

        Sounds alarming, but conceivably typical simple McWaffle, like “saving the world”. You know how things pop out of him when he’s under stress.

  99. 264
    Tony Blair says:

    John Prescott for Speaker

  100. 265
    Nick says:

    The system this, the system that….. well if the ’system’ is so awful, then why have they all been taking full advantage of it for years rather than protest about it??!!

    G Brown has just said ‘the system’ a hilarious number of times in his press conference. Like a dalek malfunctioning.

    It’s a youtube vid waiting to be made!!

    • 401
      Submisive Nick Robinson says:

      Grovel. grovel. Mr Prime Minister Sir, would it be alright if I respectfully ask you a question about the Expenses Problem which I know you have actively been working to solve for a long time..

      • 432
        Gordon Brown says:

        Nick,

        Tonight I’m going to cook us dinner, and I’ve bought an industrial size canister of vaseline.

        You’re my cute little bitch, and I love you,

        Kisses,

        Gordon.

  101. 267
    RavingMad says:

    Absolutely amazed that nobody has jumped up and punched Brown at the press conference. He has repeated the same line to each question, without obviously, answering anything except the mantra of ‘his’ new reform of the system. He even takes credit for initiating the process – because no one knew about ‘these things’ until the last few days!!

    How does the press sit there and take this rubbish??? I can’t stand anymore and have put the tv off.

    We need saving from this looney. Nothing is going to change until he resigns and his government are thrown out.

    • 279
      Anonymous says:

      Well its obvious , this is all about Labour and the CLASS WAR STRUGGLE, its a simple as that, its down to CLASS, why doesnt he do us all a favour and just fuck off now, before you get the chance to find out what we are are all gonna do you. You fucked us now we are going to return the favour, cheers

      • 290
        markedman says:

        I quite agree. Whatever the question asked, he simply says ‘cleaning up the system’ I gave up counting how many times he repeated this after reaching 80!! The man is a disgrace, and so it seems are the press and media who seem to accept this garbage.

    • 286
      Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

      You just don’t like him because he’s an idiot, admit it.

  102. 268
  103. 269
    Yoda says:

    Brown’s still in denial and lying through his teeth….”I’m the only one doing anything..they’ll not stand if they’ve broken rules…Blears etc have not broken any rules or the Law”..etc etc etc.

    The lying,cheating,thieving bastard still believes he’s the fucking Messiah..

    Well..we all know what happened to him,don’t we?..

    ..and the sooner the better

  104. 270
    Anonymous says:

    Alan Sugar

  105. 273
    McTwatt's reekie gub says:

    It is right to clean out hardworking systems…..

  106. 274
    Anonymous says:

    Vaz for speaker. He has some nice satin cushions to keep him comfy on that big chair.

  107. 277
    tisfedup says:

    the man is making an absolute mockery of us, cnn question damning, mexico damning, it’s a bloody embarrassment. election now, grrrr

  108. 280
    The system has failed says:

    System…mumble…strange hand dance…system…strange hand dance…system…system…mumble…system.

    Cut the crap Gordon. Give us a General Election.

    • 291
      Susie says:

      “it’s the right thing to do”… A General Election NOW is the only right thing to do. At least he’s not doing crazy grins now.

  109. 282
    Moley says:

    Brown live on Sky now, getting questions from CNN and Mexican correspondents suggesting that British politicians, Westminster, and Parliament have lost all moral authority with the rest of the world.

    • 288
      Scorched Earth says:

      And this after Iraq !
      How the mighty have fallen indeed.

    • 295
      Susie says:

      They’re right.

    • 303
      Yoda says:

      ..and they’re correct…but only that incompetent lying,thieving scumbag Brown can’t see it.

      This Press Conference is an embarrassment of gigantic and unprecedented proportions for this Country.

      Tom Bradby is giving him shit for the 3rd time..but the fucking hoon just avoids and denies.

      FFS.. we must get rid of this piece of shit excuse for a human being..he doesn’t deserve to represent the United Kingdom any more.

    • 435
      Doctor Mick says:

      Indeed they have. And from Mexicans FFS!

      The only redeeming feature of this whole fiasco is that in all countries this sort of stuff goes on but there are very few where it would be exposed in this way and action taken.

      Elsewhere troublesome journalists or bloggers usually don’t get past their front door.

    • 461
      Anonymous says:

      Perhaps The Queen might care to ring that Hoon Brown up and tell him to call and election immediately.

      • 508
        Doctor Mick says:

        Her Majesty would not be using the telling bone. She would command his presence forthwith.

        And set the corgis on the twat.

  110. 287
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Mark Oaten
    Then every MP could say
    Mr Speaker you are full of shit

  111. 289
    PrivateSchultz says:

    Oh no, Gordo was at the launch of the London World Cup bid yesterday – it’s doomed then!

  112. 292
    Umbongo says:

    Not one NOT ONE of the “journalists” at the press conference pointed out in words even Brown could fail to acknowledge that (with a very few exceptions) all the troughing was done “within the rules” so Brown’s promise to deselect anybody who broke the rules applies to, what, 3 or 4 Labour thieves.

    At least most MPs do something in return for being paid and allowed to fill their boots from “allowances”: not well, I grant you, but they do it. The crap “working” for the MSM don’t even do what they’re overpaid to do.

  113. 297

    Brown bottles it big time during 19th May 2009 Press Conference

    Brown twice said that Blears would not be sacked…despite having ‘fingers in the till’ and had paid the money back on his suggestion. Tell that to benefit claimants, Brown has lost it big time all too little too late. This is a man clinging to the wreckage. We are watching this Government imploding. A slow motion car crash. This latest Press Conference will come back and haunt him in the not too distant future. Expect 200 MP’s to lose their seats on this showing. Brown keeps banging on about when he came into politics. He’s been running the system for over 10 years, so a bit rich (no pun intended) to start introducing widespread root and branch reform when he does not have the 100 % support of the house and likely to be out of business inside a year. A very Black day all round, Brown just does not get it. Expect Nokias to be thrown after this conference. Mrs Brown better call up Pickfords….

    • 347
      MI5 says:

      I love it

      The Poison Dwarf has her fingers in the pie and out of it at the same time

      MOCK TUDOR LABOUR IS MAGIC MY FRIEND

      Sounds like furniture polish don’t you think ?

    • 367
      Cassandra King says:

      That common thief and premier poison dwarf claims she has repaid the money she stole, there is no proof she has paid it back and we have only her word for it, waving a blank cheque in front of the cameras isnt proof and she hasnt yet provided a receipt from the HRMC.
      Even if she pays the money over it could well be treated as an overpayment and the thieving fucking midget will just get the stolen cash back as a refund later.

      • 393
        James Stewart says:

        The word of a MP should be enough for anyone.

      • 409
        Anonymous says:

        This isnn’t just about CGT. She isn’t going to pay back the thousands in expenses she claimed which enabled her to buy and sell 4 houses in 2 years during the property bubble, making large profits on all of them.

      • 428
        Hanging's too good for the bastards says:

        So if I go out and rob someone, it’ll all be alright if I get caught, just so long as I return what I stole. Should make an interesting defence in future court cases.

      • 519
        Anonymous says:

        And she’s been a bloody minister for years, trousering £140k. venal rodent.

    • 440
      Gordon Brown says:

      I want bold text like you have : * (

      I’m the prime minister of this country, please let me have some bold text.

  114. 298
    Give me 650 lamp posts and a roll of piano wire and I can fix democracy says:

    The new speaker

    http://www.foodandwaterwatch.org/food/images/fatpig2.jpg/image_preview

  115. 298
    Sunonmars says:

    Brown is not going to do anything, when cornered with Blears, all he could say “was it was within the rules” he is not going to do anything.

  116. 301
    parish councillor says:

    as long as they don’t go for Haslehurst, the deputy speaker. He’s been troughing £142k….

    thanks but no thanks

  117. 305
    My Dear Old Thing says:

    Only one possible candidate. Henry Blofeld.

    • 332
      Trough Mixture says:

      Pigeons and buses in the early morning. Bloers would love it!

    • 397
      Moley says:

      My vote goes to the white cat.

      Can you imagine it sitting there on the speaker’s chair, looking down on everyone with a superior smirk?

      • 403
        Moley says:

        Sorry, Iwas thinking of Ernst Stavro Blofeld in James Bond!

        Not heard of the other one.

  118. 305
    No more troughing bastards says:

    Hands up anyone who can think of someone in politics who won’t start troughing as soon as they are elected?

    There is no one in Parliament untainted by the troughing and smeargate scandals.

    We need a new parliament. Halve the number of MP’s, halve their hours, and remove their expenses.

    Let’s find people who consider the job of being an MP as the highest honour and privilege a country can bestow, not more troughers who use the job to fill their boots with our cash, then refuse to resign when they are caught with their armpits in the till.

  119. 309
    deeznuts says:

    OT..but any one see gordon mcmental’s press conf …utter car crash tv….be gone you evil man

  120. 311
    English Liberation Front says:

    O/T notice the petition for Chairman Brown to resign has picked up again. About 1,000 a day.

    http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/please-go/#detail

    Don’t forget.

  121. 313
    Sunonmars says:

    Sky is roasting Brown basically calling him a liar.

  122. 314
    Nick Brown-Dick says:

    What’s going on with Jon Craig’s hair on Sky? He’s got about 4x more on top now than when I last saw him. Looks like boot polish on his forehead?

  123. 316
    Anonymous says:

    He tied with Cheryl Gillan in 2006/07 and 2002/03, who is my local MP. She got done for the dog food but how about Members Travel: Regular journeys between home/constituency/Westminster: Mileage £3,384 (265th). Rail £81 (562nd). Other: Mileage £416 (16th). Rail £4,305 (2nd).

    So she drives into London because she can make more than the train fare but probably goes First Class to Wales for her Shadow Cabinet job.

    According to her website: “Cheryl Gillan, MP for Chesham and Amersham, today joined with consumer groups to highlight the problem of silent telephone calls, which cause misery for thousands of consumers.”

    Last year, her local party was the subject of a complaint to the Telephone Preference Service for calling at random (getting through to ex-directory number)s to recruit for the party.

    More hypocrisy than meets the eye.

  124. 317
    Anonymous says:

    Would he be able to be seen over the mace?

  125. 320
    READ THIS! says:

    Did anyone else hear Denis MacShane on today’s Daily Politics show (BBC2) blow the whistle on UKIP MEP and leader Nigel Farrage? He said that Farrage had obtained £2 million in expenses! Yes, 2 MILLION!!!

    This is explosive stuff. I am surprised the media haven’t focused on UKIP before now. Maybe now they will!!

    • 331
      Coiffeur says:

      Thats a drop in the bucker compared with Nu Mock Tudor Labour…

      • 411
        Anonymous says:

        UKIP politicians are some of the biggest, greediest sleazebags and troughers in the Euro parliament.

      • 493
        Covlad says:

        UKIP has always been open about taking every penny it could from the EU gravy train. They use alot of it to support the party. The commission got so upset at them using EU money to fight the EU that they tried to take legal action against them.

        This was covered years ago. ‘Move on nothing to see here, move on nothing to see’

  126. 321
    Anonymous says:

    Enough of the CONS. very own chipmunk!

  127. 322
    Sunonmars says:

    After the rafts of details Cameron put out to sort out expenses yesterday, this was the best Brown could do, its totally laughable.

    He basically put it into committee and didnt want to touch it, he aint going to sack any of the cabinet and he’s going to have to be dragged out of No 10 with torches and pitchforks.

  128. 327
    Robert Catesby says:

    Glenda Jackson for Speaker
    English
    Non-trougher?
    Independently minded
    Can deliver her lines well
    Likes bottled Guiness

    • 365
      Dack Blog says:

      Can we have a young Ollie Reed and Alan Bates wrestling naked before the chair? That would cheer up the ladies. And some of the blokes.

    • 371
      Margy says:

      Too much of a socialist on a mission. Glenda would abuse her position and get carried away.

      • 383
        Dack Blog says:

        She might bring smoking back in pubs. Not that I want to smoke in pubs – I just want the over-indulged brats and fcuking buggies out. And the twatty food menus.

    • 477
      Robert Catesby says:

      Boothroyd in her former career may have showed her legs, and Jackson in hers may have shown her everything.

      Yes she’s died in the wool hard labour with no time for ZaNuLieBour version of it.

      She actually thinks her constituents and their problems are important. I happen to despise lefties but I think Glenda has the integrity and the reforming zeal and the backbone to be neither party’s patsy to be a good speaker.

      Look beyond her politics and you might glimpse a potential speaker who think the electorate and democracy are not to be ignored in parliament. This is someone who might insist on ministers and prime ministers answering the BLOODY questions FFS.

      These desperate times call for us to look in some different boxes.

      • 504
        Doctor Mick says:

        Perhaps. But I hope she has the good grace to keep her clothes on. When she were a young lass we didn’t mind looking at her tits in the fillims but the Commons is no place for that sort of thing. It is not in the best of taste, even for a Camden MP.

  129. 329
    deeznuts says:

    we are on the brink of a general election…i can feel it in me waters !!!!

    • 334
      Mayor Boris says:

      Don’t let it burst my friend

      Could do yourself some serious damage you know…

      Mayor Boris

      Always looking after the People

      • 359
        Trough Mixture says:

        McLoon himself was wearing the Election Specials quite recently. As far as I could tell the broonometer was registering a strong possibility of a damp start, followed by heavy showers with standing “water” in the turn-ups and shoes.

  130. 333
    Anonymous says:

    Little Berc. would be ideal. Good Socialist wife who towers over him even in his lifts. Having gone to the top of claims he needs to move up the expenses ladder and since a Gov. job is unlikely the Speakers x’s must have great appeal.

    • 339
      FT Correspondent says:

      Dont’ tell me he is another dwarp

      The Tory reply to the Poison One ?

      Are there any normal people in the House of Commons ??

      • 352
        Alan Johnston says:

        Moi. And I don’t want to be prime minister. Unless I’m asked.

    • 341
      BOB THE BUILDER says:

      Will he need a ladder to “climb” into the Speaker’s Chair ?

      I’ve got just the job…

      Bob the Builder
      (and I’m unemployed)

      • 376
        Trough Mixture says:

        I believe Ian McCartney has given him a signed copy of “Climbin’ tae yer seat fer Dumb Bassats”.

    • 345
      John Prescott says:

      Mrs Bercow, phwwwoooorrr!! There’s been more than one John in that one! Eh? Eh??

  131. 335
    More Greedy Bastards says:

    Guido

    Please tell me that you will pursue the local councillors wages and expenses when you’re finished with the MPs and MEPs troughers.

  132. 336
    Rt Hoon Gordon Broon MP says:

    listenhard working families. This expenses and speakers downturn credit crunch is a global problem that started in America. I will carry on with the job, that only I am skilled enough to do. Not like that David Cameron character of the do nothing party!! Afterall he caused this problem that started in America, not me. And I’m doing it for britain’s hard working families.

    The Speaker is a very good speaker, the best speaker in the history of speakers. If it wasnt for this global speaker crisis that started in america he would be getting on with the job. Like i am. And I don’t wet myself. Cameron does. He’s American!

    Wibble.

    Gordo.

  133. 337
    Anonymous says:

    The stockings may appeal to him.

  134. 338
    Mitch says:

    Troughin to the coffin that’s the nulab way.

    • 545
      Sir Barrington Minge says:

      Tony B’Liar must be helpless with laughter by now. Broon wanted the job and now he’s got it and finds that it’s totally beyond him. Cherie Slotmouth must be rolling about helplessly too.

      Really you just couldn’t write this stuff.

  135. 346
    Angry St Ives says:

    Does anyone else think that the reason why B rown cant get rid of B lears is that this would create a precedent and when the real sh*te hits the fan with B alls et al he will have to have a mass cull.

    The most honable thing to do this afternoon for this country would have been for him to have called an election. From the questions from the internal journos to him this afternoon we are now becoming a global joke

  136. 348
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Mickey speakerofthehouse was invented by Walt disnae in 1932

  137. 355
    It doesn't add up... says:

    Quentin Letts on John Bercow – about all you need to know:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1116466/QUENTIN-LETTS-The-minister-hosed-Mr-Bercow-golden-syrup.html

    • 421
      Moley says:

      He seems repulsive from this description.

      Not the man for the job by any means, but I can see that Labour would like him, particularly his support for Harman in getting more gays and lesbians into Parliament.

      Does his constituency know about him?

  138. 362
    Mr Micro-manager says:

    Keep your eyes fixed on 19th July comrades, sorry Harriet, and comradettes. That’s about 60 days give or take the odd billion. Brazen it out till then and this goldfish-brained electorate will have forgotten it.

  139. 363
    lololo says:

    OT Brown will have something else on his plate soon from the area that will vote for anybody with a red rosette,Runcorn and Widnes,the old bridge is gridlocked every day and it will cost £400million to build a new one,they have come up with the idea to charge for both bridges when the new one is built,the old one is free at the moment,not a happy area now,what happend to road tax to pay for this sort of thing.

  140. 369
    anonemo says:

    System, system, I put proposals to the house, er system, system.

    Why didn’t anyone ask, were these the proposals half your cabinet voted against. You know, the ones you didn’t bother turning up to to vote for?

    I thought the sky sports question had him rattled, not quite in the way I’d like to see him rattled though.

  141. 370
    Premier Gordon Brown says:

    Did you watch my Press Conference? And did you notice that I claimed that I was the first person to do anything about the Expenses Issue?

  142. 374
    Cynical moi? says:

    Labour want to stitch the Cons up like a kipper so they’re cries of Tory toffs won’t fall on deaf ears like the do now adays.

    • 430
      Boris says:

      Yea

      Vote Labour and turn Britain into Haiti…

      Lovely idea

      Scorched earth it’s called

      With a lovely dose of class warfare

      Real modern I think..

  143. 375
    Dack Blog says:

    I see Widdecombe has gone from ‘flighty blonde’ back to ‘take me seriously grey’. I reckon she’s limbering up for The Chair. (No. Unfortunately not that one).

  144. 381
    Vote Vote Vote for Jacqui says:

    Please will someone confirm or deny that the Jacket or Jackets that Dennis Beast Of Bolsover has been wearing for the past eight or nine years is the same one or does he renew it every week?
    Check his expenses ,how much has he claimed for clothing if anything at all.
    He is not a SUITable candidate for Speaker he aint even got a SUIT.

  145. 386
    JackDoff says:

    A word of caution…
    When the Government says it will do something the result is, the reverse of what the public wanted and expected.

    So when they say they are to reform the Speaker problem, I hope it does not mean it will result in a 500W speaker on each face of Big Ben calling us all to prayer or someone playing the bagpipes.

    If anyone would wish to argue this comment in not appropriate, this is called cynicism, you know, like what we have been reading about by our elected leaders

    • 392
      Cynical moi? says:

      I agree would be typical of Brown to get us all back someway like that. The man is insane and can’t be trusted.

    • 415
      MI5 says:

      Of course

      Bound to be just another Car Crash

      So ignore it

  146. 390
    dirtyden says:

    Brown’s press conference: total fugging car crash. He’s almost gone, folks.

  147. 395
    Phil the Greek (Indian Army) says:

    Never laughed so much in my life as in the last few days reading this Blog

    Thank you Mr Guido

    And all the co-conspirators

    It shows you can create a Revolution and still laugh…

    Keep up the good work..

  148. 398
    Anonymous says:

    At least he has the guts to claim the full amount unlike *some* MPs who claim £100 less the full amount so that they come down lower on the tables.

    • 405
      Mafia adviser says:

      We don’t know how much they fiddle “under the table” yet

      Unreceipted…mileage allowances .etc

      So wait…

      • 424
        Arthur Andersen says:

        Oroff balance sheet as use top Financial Advisors would describe it

    • 427
      Doctor Mick says:

      So he is an upfront “honest” thief? Well that’s alright then.

  149. 399
    Anonymous says:

    Putting separation of powers to one side for moment perhaps it would be best if the Speaker wasn’t an MP. Perhaps a senior judge would be a better bet?

    Somebody even more detached from the parties than monopolise our politics despite the ludicrously low membership.

  150. 400
    Charlie Bigears (Greek Navy) says:

    I quite agree Dad

    Mummy thinks it’s pretty spot on as well…

  151. 408
    Caligula says:

    Anyone seen Unreceipted Chief Whip Browne today ?

    Or is he hiding as well ?

    The Parliamenary Labour Party must be imploding by now…

  152. 413
    Jonas says:

    What have you got against John Bercow, Guido? I taught him when he was eleven. He had no time for injustice and unfairness then, and he still has these qualities now. I’ve never known him to be other than honourable and decent.

    Trougher? He is in the top ten of value for money MPs.

    Who are these sad people who criticise his stature and his birth religion? Could they publish their own vital statistics and give us all a laugh?

  153. 419
    MI6 says:

    WARNING

    Big Brother Thought Police Patrolling…

  154. 425
    • 448
      nell says:

      He said he had “hoped to make reforms before any revelations were published.” How telling.

      But even more damning – he was given a Watchdog’s report in August 2007 detailing these abuses – so he has known of them for two years!!! and not acted.

      HOW LONG Gordon does it take you to make up your mind to act?

  155. 433
    Sherlock Holmes says:

    And anyone who criticises Bercow is ANTI-SEMITIC

    Thats the way they play the game you see

    Like the Labour Mafia saying anyone who criticises them is rich Tory Toff educated at Eton…

    Same cheap smearing….

    • 445
      Rich Eton Toff says:

      Hello yes, they jeer at us from below the castle walls..

      Do let’s smite them!

    • 465

      Time was, when his type could not even stand for Parliament – even Yidsraeli converted to C of E.

      Short-arsed, troughing Levantine Hoon!

  156. 442
    Honest citizen says:

    This is going to be the dirtiest General Election campaign in British history

    You can already see how the

  157. 446
    Fuck it says:

    C U N T S!!!!!!! They are all F U C K I N G C U N T S!!!!!!!

    I would gladly kill the fuckers if I thought I could get away with it.

    • 451
      The Archbishop of Canterbury says:

      Would you like to borrow my 12 bore?

      I can also offer absolution, if absolutely necessary.

  158. 447
    Moley says:

    How the French see us,

    From Schott’s vocab. New York Times.

    The United Condom

    Nickname bestowed upon the U.K. by the French after the British Home Secretary “mistakenly” claimed two pornographic movies on expenses.

    Discussing the (inevitably titled) porngate scandal that had engulfed Jacqui Smith and her husband, The Daily Mail reported:

    “The media in France has dubbed Britain the ‘United Condom.’ Daily newspaper Le Figaro crowed: ‘You couldn’t make it up! With sex, money and politics, this story is a journalist’s dream.’”

    Great Britain is the Clown on the World Stage, offering entertainment, not example, not leadership. We no longer have anything of value to offer anybody.

    • 505
      Doctor Mick says:

      Well let them hope that Germany doen’t invade them again coz we won’t have anything they want and won’t be able to help the cheese eating surrender monkeys.

      As if there is no corruption in France!

  159. 450
    Anonymous says:

    he he.

    Liked the new interim measures.

    By my calculation that’s the Balls’ family budget f***ed.

    Watch their food bill rise to £800 per month…..

  160. 452
    Boris says:

    This os going to be the filthiest General Election campaign in British history

    You can see the Labour spinners already at work

    Sordid class warfare against any Tory…

    Anything which is cheap and squalid

    Clan warfare against SNP and Welsh Nats…

    Criminal defamation at the local level

    MCBRIDE showed us just what scum they are

    And he was Dirty Tricks Brown’s closest “adviser” in Downing Street

    God knows what filth and crime they will get up to at the local level

    BE WARNED EVERYONE

    Labour will make Mugabe look tame…

    • 469
      Moley says:

      You can tell what sort of people we will be up against from the fact that Margaret Moran’s Constituency Party has reselected her.

      I hope the electorate have more sense.

      • 495
        Anonymous says:

        It’s a bloody difficult choice though ! Do you vote for Margaret Moran or the even more irritating Esther Ranzten if she stands ? Difficult decision !

      • 513
        Moley says:

        Given the choice between Margaret Moran, Esther Rantzen or Monster Raving Looney, I’d go with the Looneys.

        If a Lib Dem was standing, I would still go for the Looneys because I don’t want proportional representation which would let in other undesirables.

    • 479
      deeznuts says:

      the thing is ..it wont work ant more…..because everyone (bar that 20 ish% that still think labour is great) knowst that brown is just like mugabe

  161. 454
    Bollocks to NuLabour says:

    Sweatshirt arrived. I’m so going to piss-off draper when he comes to Hay.

  162. 456
    Anonymous says:

    Too little, too late.

    Why are we still to pay their mortgages? Still the ‘get elected get a free house’ con? Reasonable rent or hotel bills I could live with. Mortgage, no.

    Line rental, yes. Telephone calls, no. Don’t expect them to pay two line rentals, but the calls would be made regardless.

    That’s all I caught. Prescott was chasing my missus around the room, had to distract him with a pot roast. Fat letcherous bastard.

  163. 457
    Rudy says:

    Too little, too late.

    Why are we still to pay their mortgages? Still the ‘get elected get a free house’ con? Reasonable rent or hotel bills I could live with. Mortgage, no.

    Line rental, yes. Telephone calls, no. Don’t expect them to pay two line rentals, but the calls would be made regardless.

    That’s all I caught. Prescott was chasing my missus around the room, had to distract him with a pot roast. Fat letcherous bastard.

  164. 458
    Rudy says:

    454 and 455 both meant to be titled ’speakers statement’. Not my fault I’m drunk.

  165. 463
    Ed Balls moustache says:

    As a recent convert to the blog can any more seasoned veterans of Guido tell me the reasoning behind ‘Hoon’. I presume its a reference to the legendary Geoff BuffHoon or am I completely wrong?

    • 468
      nell says:

      Welcome . You’ll find it’s a great way to reduce your blood pressure.

      Hoon? It’s something to do with our Esteemed Armed Forces and geoff hoon I think, but the more seasoned campaigners on here will no doubt put me right.

    • 472

      I believe it’s a reference to Hoon’s forces nickname during the Iraq war – “TCH” was the acronym, standing for “That C*** Hoon”, since Hoon was directly or indirectly responsible for the lack of armoured vehicles and personal armour in theatre.

      It is now used more or less interchangeably with the C word, and Guido’s comment system substitutes the latter with the former, as you will see if you type the name of a Northern seaside town, which may or may not be SHoonthorpe.

  166. 464
    nell says:

    So Gordon is not going to get rid of Blears, Darling, Balls from his cabinet.

    Well of course not – they are the only supporters within Labour that he has left – if he sacks any of them there is no-one within the Labour Party, well except perhaps Keith Vaz, who will continue to encourage him in his belief that his government has not already crashed.

    Jacqui Smith has given herself the perfect get-out from being sacked by him which she surely would, after her porno fiasco, saying she wants to step down as Home Secretary because she needs to concentrate on campaigning in her constituency. She is as deluded as Gordon if she thinks she has any chance of winning the next GE.

    • 488
      Get out of Jail -Free Card says:

      You missed the small print – they’ll only go if they “broke the rules” which of course they didn’t !

      • 511
        Alien8n says:

        Precisely, especially as everything was within the rules otherwise they wouldn’t have okayed the expenses. But then with the Speaker writing the rules what do you expect when even outright fraud is within the rules.

    • 490
      Redditch Raven Master says:

      Smith will be an ex-MP as soon as Brown has the bottle to call an election.

      To paraphrase “The Sun” – ‘It’s the bath plug wot dun it !”

  167. 466
    Bewildebeest says:

    I spy a small silver lining in this cloud – can you imagine how much good it has done to our international image – particularly in erm….culturally and historically challenged parts of the world (you know where I mean – west from here) – the whole planet now thinks that we all live in moated mansions with servants, chandeliers, mock tudor beams ( yeah shame about that bit) and giant flat screen TVs when we’re NOT working and city centre flats when we are. Hooray no more gritty Northern/Chavvy stereotypes.
    Don’t you feel better now ?

  168. 467
    chronic says:

    If any computer game creators read this blog how about Resident Commons Evil 6.The best way to quench my anger is to walk around a virtual Parliament with a 12 bore blasting everything that moves.

  169. 471
    Moley says:

    It’s a polite substitute for calling somebody a See. You En Tea.

    We don’t want any defamation on this site and there was widespread objection from the lady’s private parts that they were being defamed.

  170. 474
    Mark Best says:

    If someone gets hold of his constituency address I’ll go find it and take pictures, he’s my local MP. See what our tax money pays for.

  171. 475
    Ed Balls moustache says:

    As a Scot I am utterly embarrased by the fat porker Martin. His oafish ways and semi literacy are reason enough for him to go. If you rise to the office of Speaker then you should be able to read a statement without sounding like an utter reprobate. I hate the way he takes about five years to say Oooorder!
    Mind you at least he had a job before entering politics. There are a number of Scots in the cabinet, Jim “Skeletor” Murphy and wee Dougie who have never held down a real job.

    • 509
      Alien8n says:

      Shop Steward is not a job. It’s an excuse to be a hoon.

      I worked at BMW for a bit and the shop stewards were the biggest bunch of useless pillocks going. They allowed the management to get away with everything.

      • 530
        A Former Industrial Correspondent says:

        Shop stewards destroyed British Leyland. Who would ahve thought thta they would do the same to Parliament?

  172. 480
    Ed Balls moustache says:

    I used to work for an MP and I have to say iv never laughed so hard as when I opened a letter from an ex soldier venting his fury at the cost of cleaning Two shags/jags grace and favour pad!

  173. 483
    powerless and sick of it says:

    In these uncertain times only a few things can we be sure of.

    A Labour meltdown in the Euros will not lead to any action from Brown or his spineless Cabinet, all of whom will survive this scandal. For another 12 months, Brown will be telling us of how HE changed the system with the aim of regaining trust from hard-working families, affected by the American tsunami and for whom doing nothing is not an option.

    If Labour gets 20% on a 35% turnout, they’ll have received support from just 1 in 14 of the electorate. What would be lost from a Cameron call for no confidence? Even a loss would be a victory – forcing Labour MPs to vote for themselves, against the will of the people.

  174. 486
    Blank Xavier says:

    I understood the party of the speaker alternated, and Labour broke that alternation with Martin – and now it looks like they’re going to break it again by appointing another one of their own?

    • 492
      Anonymous says:

      Don’t be stupid. What’s the point of being in government if you can’t decide who you want as Speaker ? Anyway the removal of Martin was a Tory inspired plot dreamed up by Douglas Carswell and Quentin Letts because he was a Catholic and a humble Glaswegian Sheet Metal Worker well according to George Ffoulkes who must be the most irritating Labour Peer going and who seems to be continually on every TV station. Almost as bad as the Sainted Vince !!

      • 534
        jgm2 says:

        I am a Catholic by birth (but a realist by experience) and, while I harbour certain vestigal support for Celtic FC, I have no objection to Martin being skinned and used for lampshades. The useless fucking fuck.

  175. 501
    Doctor Mick says:

    500?

  176. 514
    Balls is a dead Hitler walking says:

    Have never heard of Berclow or whatever – and never will!

    I bet £500,000 that Frank Field is selected (if he allows his name to go forward)

    Now Ball’s,give me some of your food money that you steal from pensioners, to pay for this bet – you grotty gruesome little shit

  177. 517

    Oh dear: Hazel Blears is in trouble now.

    She’s lost Gordon’s support but he’s going to do fuck all about her.

    Strong, decisive leadership right there.

  178. 520
    Anonymous says:

    Brown seems to disinguish between people whose behaviour is ‘unacceptable’ (Blears) and ‘totally (then completely) unacceptable’ (Moran). Is this an indication of who will be sacked? Or of who has the worst dirt to dish out on him?

    • 522
      CREAMFACEDLOON says:

      Guido

      What has happened to the Hoon flippers story? Has someone shoved an injunction where the sum don’t shine or are you lagging?

  179. 527
    singingtheblues says:

    We’ve just got rid of one birk – another birk oh no.

  180. 531
    jgm2 says:

    If Labour are proposing Bercow with spectacular expenses claims like that then you can be sure it is under tactical orders from Brown. Alright lads, our troughing, partisan, incompetent placeman has been outed. Let’s stick one of theirs in there to balance it up.

    That’ll give us a nine month run up swooning about our idiot, incompetent troughing TORY Speaker.

    Perhapsthis Bercow chap is a decent, upright chap and I’m doing hima disservice but I can’t believe Brown would propose anybody from the Tories that wasn’t guaranteed to blow up in their face.

  181. 533
  182. 536
    Another troughing piggy says:

    What happened in 2005/6 – was he off sick?

  183. 538
    jd says:

    Because he’s a hoon and the membership of FCS should have strung him up 20-odd years ago?

    Because he’d look silly in the Speakers Chair? They’d have to put in a booster seat, or replace it with a high chair …

    Because it’s the Tories’ turn?

    Time for the Anyone But Bercow campaign

  184. 539
    Anthony Charles Lynton Blair says:

    One of my very own nulabourites is also joint first in the ALA league one Dr Ashok Kumar.

    Let’s not rule him out of the running for king trougher.

  185. 541
    parish councillor says:

    The public should vote for the next Speaker, not the incumbent bunch of thieving, lying, duplitious crooks

  186. 542
    Carter says:

    Why not look at the full picture with his expenses?

    http://www.theyworkforyou.com/mp/john_bercow/buckingham

    Rather than just the single line that shows him joint 1st?

    Total £103,436 (631st) £123,269 (524th) £132,047 £126,179 (274th) £124,057 (223rd) £123,668 (92nd) £103,015 (56th)

  187. 548
    Anonymous says:

    I just can’t find the snap I have of Jerkoff berkcow with a chap at an FCS “do” wearing a hung nelson mandela t shirt… Bloody Daily keeps moving stuff I’m sure she works for MI5… I’m hope Harry F has kept a copy handy ring the daily telegraph and ask him !! O and don’t get me onto the Contras at the Barbican…
    O yes this man would make a fine speaker…

  188. 549

    Has Bercow any track record on the ‘cash-for-questions’ issue.

    By which is meant: Has he taken cash (or benefits in kind) for questions?




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