May 11th, 2009

+++ Hogg Claimed for Moat Dredging +++


  1. 1
    Pitchfork_In_Hand says:

    That’s tremendous

  2. 2
    A M says:

    I don’t like posting.

  3. 3
    G Norton says:

    If I had a moat, I’d want it dredged too.

  4. 4
  5. 5
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    I think we need more information!

  6. 6
    thick as thieves says:

    so if we drown the thief in the moat there will be something to dredge.
    thieving fucking c’unt.

  7. 7

    Hogg – what a most appropriate name!


  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    If you’re going to gouge, do it with style!

  9. 9
    Fausty says:

    He is aptly named.

  10. 10
    Fausty says:

    Damn! You beat me to it!

  11. 11
    unemployed tory says:

    That’s taking the piss right?

  12. 12
    Dack Blog says:

    Is that a euphemism?

  13. 13
  14. 14
    Grenville says:


  15. 15
    Fausty says:

    Comments not appearing. Is something broken, Guido?

  16. 16
    Papasmurf says:


    That’s the pits!!!!!!!

  17. 17
    Silent Hunter says:

    Isn’t that a song?

  18. 18
    Tim says:

    I hope that you are joking – claiming moat dredging on expenses sounds to me like FRAUD.

  19. 19
    Anonymous says:

    It’s lucky for him and his wife (Baroness Hogg) that she at least doesn’t have to give any receipts for her expenses claims.

  20. 20
    Subversive Landscaper says:

    One likes to keep one’s dyke in order, sir.

  21. 21
    A M says:

    Snout in the Moat!

  22. 22
    Reds Under The Bed says:

    How about the ‘Carry On’ team reform to make:

    ‘Carry On Troughing’

    I suggest Mandy to play Kenneth Williams (ooh Matron!)

    Gorbals Mick to play Sid James (dirty old man)

    Prezza to play Bernard Bresslaw (thick as pig shit)

    Phil Woolas to play Charles Hawtree (the fucking wimp)

    Jacqui Smith to play Hattie Jacques (it’s the hooters)

    Stephen Byers to play Jim Dale

    Margaret Moran to play Barbara Windsor

    with a walk on part for Caroline Flint as the phwoar piece of hot totty that gets them all drooling

  23. 23
    Exiled in Wales says:

    I’m sure Lord Mandelson had his moat dredged lots of times … and at the taxpayers expense …

  24. 24
    sinosimon says:

    i take it this isn’t a council house then?

  25. 25
    Papasmurf says:

    Apparently not

  26. 26

    Getting his defences in order was he?

    Hands up who’s got a spare siege engine?

  27. 27
    Plato says:


  28. 28
    Rosco P Coltrane says:

    Man, he’s a stoopid as his cousin Cletus!

  29. 29
    Anon says:

    Me neither.

  30. 30
    Mandy says:

    I’m just one humble member of the Government of all the moats.

  31. 31
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    Is that like Dogging?

  32. 32
    Spike Spiegel says:

    Yo, Guido – your link to the Boris story seems broken.

    Mr Arbuthnot said that the swimming pool maintenance costs would be returned to the fees office. “The claims were an error of judgment on my part.

    I am sorry I made them and will repay them in full,” he said.

    Wow, a personal apology and a promise to repay! It’s been about five days now since the Tele started this story, please someone tell me he isn’t the first person to do so?

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    Actually, just looked at her expenses for the last two years and she didn’t claim a penny for anything. Good for her.

  34. 34
    It doesn't add up... says:

    Cheryl repaid her dogfood.

  35. 35
    Hogg MP says:

    No. £1,385,000 to you. Swivel.

  36. 36
    It doesn't add up... says:

    Angela Eagle?

  37. 37
    Papasmurf says:


    “Mr Hogg’s stables and for his piano to be tuned.”

    Mucking out is such a stressful activity…. one needs a bit of Mahler

  38. 38
    Mike Rouse says:

    Come on guys. Surely everybody needs a good clear moat to be able to get on with their job don’t they? How else would Britain survive if every home had a blocked up moat? Oh wait…

  39. 39
    Stronghold Barricades says:

    Let’s hope he pulls up the drawbridge after he’s paid back the money and resigned

  40. 40
    It doesn't add up... says:

    It’s just a bigger trough than anyone else’s

  41. 41
    Breaking news says:

    A plane is said to be standing by at Heathrow ready to take Brown, Gorbals, Mandleson, Blears, Smith, Harman, Prescott, Balls, Cooper, Vaz and 45 others out of the country to a secret overseas destination after agreement that they won’t face prosecution.

  42. 42
    John says:

    Are Labour being set up by the Barclay Brothers by making the Cabinet the bad guys for Labour and the backbenchers for the Tory’s making it very easy for Cameron to remove the whip from them (as they are hot very important) and pile the pressure on Gordon Brown & Labour??

    Is this revenge for things like the 50p tax and the removal of pension tax relief for high earners???

  43. 43
    nell says:

    Re: Arbuthnot – the Fees Office emailed him ” No problem with this at all – I have urged staff to be flexible in their interpretation of the rules.”!!!! (Obviously they were adhering to Michael Martin’s little red book of instructions to the Fees Office ( if you don’t want to lose your jobs) on how to help MP’s maximise their allowances.

    Arbuthnot has claimed £108,062 in five years!!!!!!!!!! This man is a parasite . David Cameron, you must withdraw the whip and tell him not to stand for election again – Ewanme – teach me some French!!!!

  44. 44
    Papasmurf says:

    David Heathcoat-Amory claimed for more than £380 of horse manure for his garden.

    AAA shit that

  45. 45
    Papasmurf says:

    Sir Alan Haselhurst, the Deputy Speaker, has claimed £142,119 forn his country home over the last seven years, despite having no mortgage to pay. He has charged the taxpayer almost £12,000 over five years for gardening bills at his farmhouse in Essex.

    Good job if you can get it on that Speakers chair.

  46. 46
    Hazel Blears says:

    Laughed my tits off. You sir, are a comdedy genius

    By the way it’s the system that’s at fault and not me being a greedy truffle hunting fraudulent mutherfucker so please vote for me at the next general election

  47. 47
    James Arbuthnot MP says:

    Of course I had to dredge the fucking pool…it was full of bally Hunts!

  48. 48
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    If only this had been Lord (hahahah) Fondlesthebums of Brazillian rentBoys digging a ditch outside of his Primrose Hill “Cottage” we could have had a heading such as
    “Moats and Queens”
    Read your Bible you heathens

  49. 49
  50. 50
    Papasmurf says:

    Correspondence seen by The Daily Telegraph suggests that some of the MPs have been claiming for the country homes for many years, stretching back to when receipts were not necessary for parliamentary expenses.

    When they were required to produce detailed receipts about five years ago, they began simply producing statements listing all the costs of their homes. In some cases, the fees office agreed to pay the maximum allowance after coming under pressure from the MPs.

    Troughing for many years as we all suspected…..

  51. 51
    Spin Doctor says:

    What? Scotland!

  52. 52
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    You poor twisted boy!

  53. 53

    Any chance we could throw him and the rest of the bastards into the moat with a sack of bricks and expenses recipes around their necks. Somehow I can’t see them being able to keep their heads above the water line with the weight of those expenses! Sweet!

  54. 54
    simon r says:

    Well so far the claims from the Tory side have been relatively minor ( or amusing as in this one ) and Cameron has apologised and is taking the correct approach as he senses the public mood.

    For Labour – the claims have been fucking outrageous, morally wrong and downright criminal and their reaction to it is to squirm and trot the party line. Brown is playing catch up, Gorbals is going mental and Labour top brass have been trying to make future receipts secret.

    Plus they have used this whole affair to give Blears a kicking.

    Ask anyone to pick Hogg out of a line up and they would be stumped – but most people would recognise Mandy, Ed & Yvette, Straw, Prescott, Blears, Spliffy etc etc and like me would cross the street to spit in their faces.

    I hope all this stress gives Brown a heart attack, I want to see him nailed into a pine box before the Autumn.

  55. 55
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    Flicking between news channels, watching a succession of self justifying troughers protest their innocence, i can see future students studying this farce,as probably the finest example of “car crash tv” in the history of media.

  56. 56
    Papasmurf says:

    More likely the vast decrease in their wealth from the crunch on property and equities.

  57. 57
    eye-eye says:

    cletus was a saint!

  58. 58
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Monsewer Arbuthnot est un Hoon
    Is that enough French?

  59. 59
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    There is hardly any popint in foaming over things that we have no details about.Keep your powder dry and fire when you see the whites of their eyes!

  60. 60
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Guantanamo Bay has some recently vaccated accomodation.

  61. 61
    Sub Editor says:

    And yet, and yet, nothing, rien, nada about The Right Honourable Edward Testicles.

    Guilt free? As pure as virgin snow?

    It must be something fearful mighty, something huge, held back that once the initial furore has died down the Smellygraph can bring out from the bottom of the shitbag and throw at Blinky in great steaming chunks.

    I find I am beside myself with warmth and joy at the prospect.

    Dredging the moat?

    Chicken feed.

    This is enormous.

  62. 62
    who dunit says:

    What quantity of horse shit would get for 380 quid. I really have no idea, would that be for 10, 100, 500 bags or whatever it comes in.

  63. 63
    Churchill's Cattleprod says:


  64. 64
    It doesn't add up... says:

    From Torygraph:

    “Metropolitan Police announced that it was considering complaints it had received about the expenses of six MPs, including Geoff Hoon, the Transport Secretary, and Alistair Darling, the Chancellor. ”

    Who are the other four?

  65. 65
    Col Haywood Jablowme says:

    Can’t see what the fuss is about. Got the have the moat dredged to prevent it getting clogged up with drowned servants.

    Damned commie MPs; shoot the blighters. Even that’d be a waste of lead. Try a length of Sheffield’s finest instead.

    Now, where’s that glass of Macallan, 1938. Rather decent stuff. Put it down somewhere and I’m damned if I can find it.

  66. 66
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    Or Gitmo.

  67. 67
    nell says:

    Hoon doesn’t seem quite enough for this sort of abuse does it?

  68. 68
    Anonymous says:

    There are still some on this site, (Reds under the bed) who are in denial, if the government are in the shit, and they are, the the official opposition has just joined them. Clegg might as well pick his cabinet now.

  69. 69
    13eastie says:

    What might we suppose the Commons official who received this “expense” claim said upon receiving it.

    Seriously: MOAT DREDGING

    How in the hell did this not get flagged in the first place, given that it surely breaches Member’s guidelines? If that useless shit Mr Speaker is going to call the police to investigate the expenses office the reason should be criminal incompetence.

    In which fucking line of work did anyone possibly imagine an employee might incur moat dredging expenses? What about ha-ha digging? Draw-bridge testing? Siege-engine servicing? Lance sharpening? Spit-roasting? (Okay that probably applies to quite a few MP’s, but you take my point).


  70. 70
    Hazel Blears says:

    ‘Moat’ is actually westminster slang for your ‘ass cleft’ and ‘dredging’ is a bit like ‘rimming’ but we have to wear a pair of marigolds on our head while we do it.

    It was all within the rules as it was classed as cleaning and the PM said this is OK.

    It’s the system that’s at fault.

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    Excellent. That should ruffle a few labour luvvies feathers with envy.

  72. 72
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    Mind you on reflection, they’ll claim it as a second home.

  73. 73
    The Baronessleaze says:

    Hogg – another troughing Baroness

  74. 74
    Hamish Macbeth says:

    We are being too harsh and “undiverse” on these MPs….

    “”””One doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry reading the Telegraph’s latest piece on MPs’ expenses. The paper reports that:
    “Phil Woolas, the Home Office Minister, claimed for items of women’s clothing, tampons and nappies. The parliamentary rules only allow expenses which are “exclusively” for MPs’ own use so it is not clear these items were justified.”””

    He could be a transvestite reaching back to his childhood – and have “issues” regarding his former years….else worried possible medical issues may cause him to soil himself in the House

    Hogg may have “insecurity issues” which means he feels he has to be seperated from his serfs – by a huge deep moat filled with man eating crocodiles..

    Gordon Brown may have “insecurity issues” with the dark which is why he claims for light bulbs off the taxpayer…

    Jacqui Smith may hark back to her Student days, and have “growing old issues” – student days where her first home was a squat – hence why she is dossing down with her sister.

  75. 75
    I've Shagged Darling's eyebrows says:

    Member of Parliament for Sleazford and North Hykem.

  76. 76
    Papasmurf says:

    Do you mean the difference of stealing an apple and stealing in a bank robbery?

    To my mind the DISHONESTY of any elected official, entrusted with overseeing fair and just laws to us all make them criminals.

    The difference only comes when the judge says 10 years or 1 day in prison, but prison they should go.

  77. 77
    Grytpype-thynne says:

    Fine sentiments sir and I wholeheartedly agree

  78. 78
    Churchill's Cattleprod says:

    Exactly how does dredging the moat contribute in any way at all to an MP’s expense? Do his constituents file up for surgery alongside the moat, thus creating a aesthetic necessity for cleanliness? Does he entertain at the house and thus necessitate the need to clean it on a regular basis? That would STILL not fall into the guidelines for an expense, by the way.

    Prosecute his sorry backside into oblivion.

  79. 79
    I've Shagged Darling's eyebrows says:

    Two-shaggs will be well pyssed off.

  80. 80
    A M says:

    Eres sin verguenza, una puta de la madre. I don’t know much French, sorry.

  81. 81
    Anonymous says:

    Mandelson must be bright green this evening, the Tories are showing him True class.

  82. 82
    Churchill's Cattleprod says:

    Moran to play Barbara Windsor – that laugh combined with the “ere mate, stop looking at me pair of Mandelsons you saucy git, you’ll be asking to see me ‘oon next”

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:


    the next lines are:

    If I had a hammer, I’d hammer their fuckin’ heads in
    If I had a hammer All Bloody day long

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    Sort of (or so I’m told) but much wetter.

  85. 85
    Anonymous says:

    10pm news, bbc going to town on the tory revalations, dont think they did this three days ago, but what can you expect?

  86. 86
    Hamish Macbeth says:

    The shit has hit the fan….

    “”David Heathcoat-Amory claimed for more than £380 of horse manure for his garden.”””

  87. 87
    Anonymous says:

    Yep a mock tudor beam versus a real moat. Get back down to your messdeck steward Prescott.

  88. 88
    Hamish Macbeth says:

    The sh1t has hit the fan…

    “”David Heathcoat-Amory claimed for more than £380 of horse manure for his garden.””

  89. 89
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    Credit to you Genghis son! You beat me to it. Race you to Mongolia,Double or quits.

  90. 90
    John says:

    Jackie Smith?

  91. 91
    Hamish Macbeth says:

    “”David Heathcoat-Amory claimed for more than £380 of horse manure for his garden.””

    That takes more than the piss!!

  92. 92
    anonemo says:

    They should just investigate the whole lot, there does’nt seem to be too many not at it!

  93. 93
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:


  94. 94
    thick as thieves says:

    erm, I thought I had already warned tory trolls to stop blogabusting.
    stop it or be banned.

  95. 95
    who dunit says:

    Yea , his gaff is in a little cut off hamlet, one road in and out between fenton and laughterton, Lincs. Funnely enough the turf ripped up at wembley was from a field across the road from his patch.

  96. 96
    Papasmurf says:

    Hogg has a lisp….. it obviously is a physical manifestation of the lisp so it is not MOAT but it could be

    Stoat (as in ermine and stoat)
    Tote (5-1 and election)
    Croat (Housing a refugee)

    etc etc

  97. 97
    Premature Ejaculator says:


  98. 98
    nell says:

    Bien hecho

  99. 99
    Moley says:

    About 2 or 3 tons I reckon.

  100. 100
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    You’ll be the next thing dragged out the moat.

  101. 101
    It doesn't add up... says:

    He’ll get his day in the DT soon enough. Lib Dems haven’t been mentioned yet.

  102. 102
    Dr Feelgood says:

    That’s class that is, down our way the ordinary folks have to use donkey shit.

  103. 103
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    He does’nt give a fuck! He does’nt have to face re-election. He’s on the gravy train for life now.

  104. 104
    Canary Wharf Rat says:

    CMD. Hogg – your first sacrificial lamb to restore some confidence to this fucking meltdown. DO IT!!!

    The Sweeney’s doing 90 ’cause they’ve got no place to go, they nick a gang of villians in a shed up at Heathrow (Westminster)…..

    The Telegraph:
    Last night, the Metropolitan Police announced that it was considering complaints it had received about the expenses of six MPs, including Geoff Hoon, the Transport Secretary, and Alistair Darling, the Chancellor.

    Knacker of the Yard, we are waiting and hoping…….

  105. 105
    Princess Polytwaddle, twerp, talking down to people from her ivory tower. says:

    I am always right.

    I am never wrong.

    And come now – it’s essential to keep one’s moat clean.

    Just as is it to have one’s tower cleaned up nice.

    Us toffs . .. the one’s that keep the country running . . have our standards to maintain.

    So I give my full support to all those, who, for whatever reason, draw down the funds made available to them, for those little extras that show they are appreciated.

    For their life as an MP, somewhat like mine as a valued writer for the Grauniad, is hard, . . Hard . . HARD!!!! With so little reward, – except that of Godron’s smile.

  106. 106

    Yeah… they were even talking about tory MPs ‘flipping’ of which there were no revelations of that – just extravagance.

    Seems they are honest but haven’t a clue to the value of money in the tories.

  107. 107
    A M says:

    You know more than your letting on?

  108. 108
    Moley says:

    Clegg’s crew will have their turn too.

    The only solution then is to deselect all MPs; go through a new selection procedure and have a General election.

  109. 109
    Robert Mugabe says:

    I taught them all I knew and but they still took it to the next level…

  110. 110

    Hold on everybody,….. don’t forget the LibDems are really worried and are up next. Its clean-up time for the porkers – expect a lot to go before the next general election, which should be by October at the latest….. as the guy who is leading the reform on MP expenses said on the news tonight – expect a radically different thing if its transparent – the lids off forever.

  111. 111
    It doesn't add up... says:


  112. 112
    anonemo says:

    They certainly dredged something to come up with this lot, who’d have thought you could find so many crooks in the one place, outside of a prison that is.

    We would find more people with integrity if we took 646 people picked at random from a telephone directory! Hunts!

  113. 113
    Anonymous says:

    Well you couldn’t ask the butler to clear it?

  114. 114
    Fussy about smears and smegma, says:

    Now clean up your mess – tissues, tampons, cleaning equipment, – all in that cupboard over there.

    Or just call in the cleaner – ‘by appointment’ to the Glorious Leader.

  115. 115
    Jacob Zuma says:

    Can I get hold of the Green Book for my cabinet?

  116. 116
    thick as thieves says:

    well fuck off then you pair of wankers.

  117. 117
    Bri says:

    Where the b***dy hell are Balls & Coopers expenses?
    Nothing as yet.

    Are the DT waiting for next weekend and doing a 24 page supplement of them.

    I wanr to see old Blinky squirm. Her I just want to curl up and die.

  118. 118

    Gordonto play Franky Howerd?

  119. 119
    Giovanni Drogo says:

    Ah but did you see their examples list of ‘Honourable Members’ (ie those not on the take)?
    1 Tory
    1 Lib Dem
    2 Labour


    BBC NuLab Shills

  120. 120

    Can I dig a moat please, so I can have it dredged too?

  121. 121
    Saddam Hussein says:

    tee hee…

  122. 122
    Anonymous says:

    Thats a lot of shit.

  123. 123
    Plato's recipe book says:

    How to become an African state in 5 minuntes

  124. 124
    Anon says:

    Saw Sir Michael White and Peter Oborne on BBC News 24 earlier. White had the gall to suggest that journalists are hypocrites for lecturing politicians on expenses. Clearly, he is alluding to the idea that journalists claim huges amounts. Difference is that the fucking taxpayer isn’t paying for a journalist’s expenses! Why is Sir Michael clinging to Gordon’s arsehole? Peter Oborne should have punched him but he wasn’t in the studio.

  125. 125
    Bob Frost says:

    And why behold you the mote that is in your brother’s eye, but consider not the beam that is in your own eye? Matt 7.3

  126. 126
    Sir Edward Coke (1628) says:

    “For a man’s house is his castle, et domus sua cuique est tutissimum refugium”

  127. 127

    The sums don’t seem to be as large as the stalinist-twats are claiming. Perhaps the Tories are not quite serious governmentists and have some lessons to learn.

  128. 128
    thick as thieves says:

    it does not have anything to do with being an MP.
    that is why hogg is a thief.

  129. 129
    Giovanni Drogo says:

    Guido, will you be publishing a list of MPs that we can trust not to be troughing? Or shall we assume most are guilty?

    From what I can see there’s mention around these parts of Philip Holloborne, Doug Carswell, Kate Hoey & the Vicar of Birkenhead as being above board. Any additions or subtractions to this list?

    Just so we know the numbers for the tumbrils like…

  130. 130
    Moley says:

    The present candidate selection procedures and electoral system seems to have achieved a 95% success rate in picking unprincipled arrogant crooks.

    Any ideas why that is?

  131. 131
  132. 132
    sinosimon says:

    nay, nay , and thrice nay!

  133. 133
    Dr Feelgood says:

    I agree. Firstly, there is a quantitative difference; secondly, most of the Tory claims have been for upkeep, rather than how to build a property portfolio and make a packet ASAP.

    Nevertheless, the Tory troughing is just as indefensible as it is for Labour, LibDem, Sinn Fein, or SNP.

    The measure now will be how it is dealt with. Brown cannot afford to be harsh with his fragile and demoralised party – even if he wanted to. Cameron must stamp down hard, crush some of the worst perpetrators and demonstrate he is a tough leader who can do what is right for the country.

  134. 134
    Anonymous says:

    PB has had to withdraw a discussion thread-seems like the Govt censorship squads are taking effect!

    Police state draws nearer!

  135. 135
    Henry VIII says:

    Seconded for sure. But If I had my way I’d chop their heads off after a spot of torture.

  136. 136
    gordons cleaner says:

    i made loads on that one.

  137. 137
    Anonymous says:

    Try as I might, I can not see how dredging the moat would be part of ones parliamentary duties. I can though see why Woolas would need womens clothing and cosmetics to work alongside Gordon.

  138. 138
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:


  139. 139
    nell says:

    OK. Where are Balls/Cooper? have they really gone over the top with their expenses as we believe they have ?

    Where are the 2 Labour MP’s on suicide watch in despair over their expense claims? Are they the same one’s who have claimed doubly for hotel rooms whilst committing adultery.

    And who is the 1 labour MP who is said to have gone completely over the top with his/her expenses? Is this the one about the butler??? Coming tomorrow then.!!

    But most importantly – where is Balls/Cooper?? – are they squeaky clean ????

  140. 140
    Tax lawyer says:

    Unlikely – the Barclays live in Sark, so don’t pay income tax.

  141. 141
    Rt Hon Sir Porky Pig MP (Bastard North) says:

    I do believe the he and I are related by way of a common ancestor, Lord Swine of Pigford and Trotter who married Lady Bacon. Oink oink..

  142. 142
    his lordship of hoggtrough says:

    to be fair it is a very non-luxurious moat. So its within the rules……more of a wide gutter to be honest…thank god i didn’t claim for the portcullis to be serviced…..or the minstrel….and i pay the falconer myself

  143. 143



  144. 144
    Mr Prezza of Scott, a NooBoringLiar Illumination, says:

    Didya see that about ‘is moat???!!! Didya!! Didya!!

    And me, – orl I got is mock tuddy beams!

    That’s the class systme at work innit!!

    An’ I didn’t get no 11+ neeva.

    Bloody tossers

  145. 145
    Dr Feelgood says:

    “Clegg might as well pick his cabinet now.”

    That’s the funniest thing I’ve read here today. You aren’t Lord Steele are you? “Go back to your constituencies and prepare for government.”

  146. 146
    UB41 says:

    Someone said the other day that all of this was:

    “Going to be f***ing MAGIC”

    Indeed it is sir.

    The paper knows how to whip us up.

    I I were Balls I’d be furiously writing cheques to the fees office.

    I think there are one or two more stories.

    Will it be a small one followed by the finale, or will it rise to a crescendo?

    Hopefully Teflon Tony will get a mention somewhere along the way.

    Once this is over, we should go for the House of Lords.

    Is the House of Lords FOI request already in?

    I’ll look forward to Udders giving a less fortunate family the chance of a home.

  147. 147
    Poor Bloody Taxpayer says:

    Yes, I keep wondering why Balls and Cooper aren’t under the microscope for their particularly egregious troughing.

  148. 148
    Brick Vader says:

    You’re on thin fucking ice, Thicky, and when it breaks I shall be under it.

    Nowfuck off.

  149. 149
    Engineer says:

    Groat – as in my wages.

  150. 150

    Only if “deselect” is a synonym of “with extreme prejudice”

  151. 151
    Anonymous says:

    We will Hazel. We would vote for a pig round here if it had a red rosette on. Doh! what have I said?

  152. 152

    Perhaps someone dumped 380 quids worth of horsesh1t in the moat!!

  153. 153
    Mr Prezza of Scott, a NooBoringLiar Illumination, says:

    and added . .

    Got any pies? . . . pasty? . . crisps?

    Phworr – get a load of her tits!!

    Oi!! Missus!!!

  154. 154
    Brick Vader says:

    You’re always going to have trouble moving the corpse in one piece. Apparently, the thing to do is cut it up into six pieces, and then feed them to pigs.

  155. 155
    anonemo says:

    Can I have some of what ever it is you’re smoking?

  156. 156
    Keyo says:

    Methinks Prescott been having dumps in Hoggs Moat

  157. 157
    Aethelred says:

    The Tories’ expenses seem pretty lame to me. A few hundred quid here, a few thousand pounds there.

    Some Labour MPs though have troughed hundreds of thousands of pounds each.

    That is not to excuse any MP spending my (and your) money on their stuff, but it seems the lefties are the ones with their snouts deepest in the trough. It seems more hypocritical for them to do it too.

  158. 158
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    Remind me not to send you shopping with £380.

  159. 159
    Half eyed Scottish idiot says:

    Labour backbenchers will be up Thursday + Friday (Lib Dims on Wed) – remember there are twice as many Labour MP’s so there should be a good 2 days worth there ( don’t forget the sauna + them on suicide watch).

    Hopefully this will leave the weekend clear for the climax – Balls/ Klebb etc

  160. 160
    Henry VIII says:

    If you or I was troughing like this the plod would be considering which door to kick in, not complaints. So, in truth I will be shocked and stunned if a single one get their collar felt.

  161. 161
    Doctor Mick says:

    They are just seeing which way the crow flies.

  162. 162
    Giovanni Drogo says:

    Have you tried telegramming ahead regarding the SS Montrose?

    “Have strong suspicions that Balls London trougher and accomplice are among saloon passengers. Mustache taken off growing beard. Accomplice dressed as boy. Manner and build undoubtedly a girl.”

    Not sure of last part though

  163. 163
    thick as thieves says:

    what the fuck has that got to do with this thread you spastic?
    if you persist in blogabusting you will be fucking banned.
    what part of that don’t you understand?
    final warning anticitizenone.

  164. 164
    Anonymous says:

    The fucking ‘re-branded’ Tories are just the same shower of shits as they always were…

    Hug-a-husky = Mow the Heliport

    Hug-a-hoody = Rentboy-in-the-sauna

    Funky new tree logo = the moat needs clearing

    Green credentials = Well of course I’m fucking green, I own half a county…

    We oppose a third runway = I’ve got a private jet – what the fuck do I care ?

    All the carefully constructed PR bluster and Obamacon appeal now looks like a particularly well-polished turd floating on a [nicely heated] swimming pool..

  165. 165
    Dr Feelgood says:

    We pay BBC expenses.

  166. 166
    Pissed off voter says:

    yep.another good reason for hanging Brown.

  167. 167
    Dave A says:

    No ear lobes – a dead give away

  168. 168
    Bastards says:

    He should be in it

  169. 169
    Benjamin Disreali says:

    It was all within the rules.

  170. 170
    Anonymous says:

    You’re Max Mosley and i claim my £5.

  171. 171
    anonemo says:

    I blame the system!

  172. 172
    Anonymous says:

    Leave his socks out of this.

  173. 173
    who dunit says:

    Me, paying for someones horseshit, tampoons,pool fucking heaters , grass cutting and all the other shite.
    I am there now wot Kiplin was on about

    The Beginnings (written March 1915, pub. 1917)

    This poem was written to follow the story ‘Mary Postgate’

    It was not part of their blood,
    It came to them very late,
    With long arrears to make good,
    When the English began to hate

    They were not easily moved,
    They were icy willing to wait
    Till every count should be proved,
    Ere the English began to hate.

    Their voices were even and low,
    Their eyes were level and straight.
    There was neither sign nor show,
    When the English began to hate.

    It was not preached to the crowd,
    It was not taught by the State.
    No man spoke it aloud,
    When the English began to hate.

    It was not suddenly bred,
    It will not swiftly abate,
    Through the chill years ahead,
    When shall count from the date
    That the English began to hate.

  174. 174
    Anonymous says:

    Methinks this is Not a good night for CMD and he so wanted to be a Prime Minister. Unless there are another dozen women waiting to kiss and tell beyond the declared thirty, then Nick Clegg’s career is looking bright.

  175. 175
    thick as thieves says:

    and locked up for fraud.

  176. 176
    denverthen says:

    Off with your head, thicko, you unutterable twat.

  177. 177
    Geordie Girl says:


  178. 178
    Pissed off voter says:

    you could pick ‘em from the guests at Wandsworth prison and get more integrity

  179. 179
    Defcon 5 says:

    Jesus, I don’t believe it, there really is one of the hoggs called Hogg, now all we need is the roast!

  180. 180
  181. 181
  182. 182
    Dave A says:

    It’s high time constituency organizations of all parties started looking at deselecting these thieves.

  183. 183
    Gummer says:

    Watch out for moles, davy boy.

  184. 184
    Henry VIII says:

    Work behind Gordon did you mean?

  185. 185
    Pissed off voter says:

    Mr Whites expenses would make interesting reading

  186. 186
    Moley says:

    Six months before we eventually get a referendum on the Lisbon treaty, a formal request should be made to the European Parliament for a detailed list of all MEPs expenses. It will of course be refused, and the British people will be entitled to vote accordingly.

    Revolutions have a habit of spreading and I am quite sure that other countries may well decide to look more closely at their professional politicians.

    It is time the troughing and corruption in the European Parliament was stopped too.

  187. 187
    Tom FD says:

    You ought to investigate which expenses Stephen Fry has fiddled from the publicly-funded BBC, as he just admitted doing on Newsnight…

  188. 188
    dr. sipp says:

    is there anyone not on the fiddle?

  189. 189

    Ashes to Ashes: Great scene tonight with the Gene Genie rabbiting on about corruption – “no crossing the line” and “an end to corruption and feathering of nests on my watch”.

    Bet a few MPs were squirming on their John Lewis sofas whilst watching that

    Rip her To Shreds

  190. 190
    They're all crooks says:

    Hogg by name, hog by nature…

  191. 191
    Tony Blair says:

    I blame the Speaker.
    Boot the Hoon out !!

  192. 192
    thick as thieves says:

    hey, a serial killer like you should be able to do it, eh?
    you sound like you have done it before and got away with it.
    hand yourself in if you can’t control your lunacy.
    it’s for the best.

  193. 193
    Mandy says:

    Yes please.

  194. 194
    Irish Prod says:

    And put the kettle on ‘arold. Greedy as a pig.

  195. 195
    Ron says:

    Stephen Fry is full of shit.

  196. 196

    Don’t you worry – we’re going to see Balls in a vice pretty soon now.

  197. 197
    Papasmurf says:

    Security for Government conferences?

    When Obama comes to visit?

    Work experience for parliamentary aids?

  198. 198
    Indigo says:

    At the moment, I can’t think of a punishment severe enough for these career parasites. Why did these thieves ever think that the taxpayer owed them their moat-dredging and housekeeper’s car? It is beginning to look like a competition to see who could successfully make the most outlandish claim. As someone said, on the radio this evening, they have damaged the entire British political class.

    What can hurt them as much as they hurt us – public humiliation? the HMRC filleting their accounts back to the Middle Ages? The sequestration of their bags of horse manure? Haven’t we got a disease-ridden colony left over somewhere to which we can transport them?

    How is what they have done different from Mugabe and Idi Amin and that West African chief person who built himself a palace with his country’s entire GDP or Western aid or whatever?

  199. 199
    The Telegraph says:

    David Davis, the former shadow home secretary, spent more than £10,000 of taxpayers’ money on home renovations and furnishings, including a new £5,700 portico at his home in Yorkshire

  200. 200
    Ewanme says:

    Loads a words , hun .

    Just look em in the eye an stab them up .

    Love E x .

  201. 201
    Dack Blog says:

    I can’t stand Fry.

  202. 202
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    Ben Wallace! never heard of him. but he’s just had his 5 minites of fame and blown it. Shoot the knut!

  203. 203
    It doesn't add up... says:

    Myleene in on the ‘cello

  204. 204
    Canary Wharf Rat says:

    Polly. Ones’ moat must always be kept clean and fresh smelling. Hate the smell of decaying fish.

  205. 205
    Adrian Prole says:

    Now there’s Klass!

  206. 206
    The Telegraph says:


  207. 207
    It doesn't add up... says:

    Not sure if that is a wet dream for him or for you

  208. 208
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    No. He’s lost weight lately. He must of had at least one dump.

  209. 209
    Giovanni Drogo says:

    Yes it was rather fitting that it should appear after the last few days revelations.

    Something about ‘anyone who is caught on the take for even a penny will be out of here’.

    Take note politicos…

  210. 210

    Bit of class that – claiming for digging out your moat. I’m sure it’s all legit. I mean, if you can’t trust a chap with a moat, who can your trust?

  211. 211
    Eric Cantona says:

    Nah, I get 3 tons of best, well-rotted horse manure for just 20 quid, all delivered to the allotment and there’s a lot of the stuff to barrow in.

    380 quid’s worth of manure would cover a lot of rose beds. Where does Thiefcoat-Amory live? Kew Gardens?

    This twat is taking the piss or perhaps his horse shit supplier is?

  212. 212
    Tick as Tealeaves says:

    Very funny material. Ever thought of stand up comedy? You’re a natural clown.

  213. 213
    Nigel Kennedy says:

    Dunno Mate! Up the Villa!

  214. 214
    Geo says:

    anyone noticed polly has turned her coat YET AGAIN.
    that woman changes her coat more often than phil wollas’ wife!

  215. 215
    Dave Figgley says:

    Ha ha, son. I want to be no. 200, mate.

  216. 216
    Irish Prod says:

    Ahhh, Ireland doesn’t have moles, only FRU (SAS) informers, who I doubt would be hampered by a moat…

    Probably why Adams and McGuinness haven’t bothered with one yet.

  217. 217
    Dack Blog says:

    Christ. Hazel Blears in leather gear. I need therapy after seeing that. Can I claim?

  218. 218
    Nigel Kennedy says:

    Sorry. i missed me cue!

  219. 219
    Scorched Earth says:

    He’s badly misjudged the public opinion that’s for sure.
    The Expenses are just a talking point of the Beurgeois ?!?!?
    F*ck off Steven and wake up.

    The whole country is incensed by this sleaze and perhaps those great issues you speak of might have been better tackled if so many MP’s were not so busy milking many thousands of Pounds from the Taxpayer.

    He’s 100% wrong in his claim that Expenses are automatically taken advantage of by anyone and everyone but admittedly he IS right about Fleet Street’s Hacks being up to their snouts in Expenses.

  220. 220
    Anonymous says:

    Kate for PM!!!! Is she the only honest person left in that shithole claeed Westminster. Tory quotes Labour luvvie, both were talking total arse.

  221. 221
    Irish Prod says:

    I’ve heard they go through bone like butter.

  222. 222
    ben-doon-Hoon & Phil Mcaverty says:

    We’re into Moat Dredging

  223. 223
    A M says:

    thick as thieves, a legend in his own mind?

  224. 224
    thick as thieves says:

    which means my full weight will be stamping down on your head.
    on thin ice I may be, but as I have already cracked so many skulls and taken part in what will be remembered as the golden age of blogging, I can retire content.

    note to Guido: get rid of that stupid fucking youtube shit for fucks sake.

  225. 225
    Giovanni Drogo says:

    Does Hogg still wear that dumb felt fedora? And does he buy them on expenses?

    I recollect around the time of the ’97 election an article on the biggest twats in the Tory party and they focus was on him wearing the ridiculous hat so much that the whips told him to stop wearing it in public. He was then noticed walking to his car with the hat under his arm, and proceeded to, once in the car, put the hat back on his head and drive off thinking that doing that would be OK with the whips.

    How I laughed then little knowing (a) he would still be around 12 years hence and (b) The Tory ‘sleaze’ was small beer compared to the far greater mendacious tossers who would slink out from under the NuLab stone

  226. 226
    Dave Figgley says:

    Fuck it. You are dead meat and I’ve got this fucking shite version of some Britainy Speers shite interfering with my Beethoven’s Symphony No.5 in C minor. Not happy, mate.

  227. 227
    Scrof says:

    He shits in it.

  228. 228
    Rolex_Pride says:

    Only if we can spit roast you…


  229. 229
    Dicky Timney says:

    Is that out on video?

  230. 230
    Ben Doon-Hoon & Phil Mcaverty says:

    and with the same sex

  231. 231
    Moley says:

    Information would not be released into the public domain if it would impede a police investigation or prejudice a fair trial.

    That comment is a complete non-sequiteur and is irrelevant to current matters; I just thought I would say it.

    Put it down to old age or drink.

  232. 232
    Ben Doon-Hoon & Phil Mcaverty says:

    A blocked up moat? doesn’t bear thinking about. Yuk!

  233. 233
    Udderly 'orrible says:

    hmmm take a look at the gallery on page one of the Teles high on the hoof they are.

    where is the Baroness Utterly disgusting?

  234. 234
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apopletic)Voter says:

    Some of us of advanced years remember his pater. Like father, like son

  235. 235
    Send the speaker to the tower says:

    Just been watching Newsnight. Kate Hoey slagged off the speaker and the detestable, populist and annoying (so called) national treasure Stephen Fry in the same sentence. Good for her!
    As we now have to turn to Stephen Fry to get his holier than thou views on everything in this country, Newsnight asked him what he thought of the expenses row. He said he thought it was a nonsense as we had all claimed for things we shouldn’t have. What? Speak for yourself you fraudulent prick. Oh, and do me a favour, get off the TV and spare us a populist statement for at least a week will you Stephen?

  236. 236
    Awaiting Moderation says:

    And this little piggy went “ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha” all the way to the bank.

  237. 237
    Eric Cantona says:


  238. 238
    Dr Nuts says:

    Don’t feed the trolls!

  239. 239
    Ben Doon-Hoon & Phil Mcaverty says:

    Moat Dredgers of the world unite!

  240. 240
    Subversive Granny says:

    Na night. Going to do a spot of knitting and maybe push the boat out with a Horlicks with sherry top. Be good – might see y’all around.

  241. 241
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apopletic)Voter says:

    If some Widow Twankey fiddles the dress allowance, no one is surprised. But MP’s are supposed to lead by example!

  242. 242
    Anonymous says:

    Stephen Fry is a well known Labour turd, along with that creep Eddie Izzard, Jo Brand, and the Mitchell half of Mitchell and Webb.

  243. 243
    Awaiting Moderation says:

    Unfortunately Mike Smithson is at risk from our Draconian libel laws, unlike Guido, who can fly like a butterfly and sting like a bee, and long may he continue.

  244. 244
    Anonymous says:

    Stephen Fry is a Labour luvvie, along with that creep Eddie Izzard, Jo Brand, and Mitchell from Mitchell and Webb.

  245. 245
    Woman on a Raft says:

    Sean Woodward currently on Newsnight. His whole act appears to be based on Vicki Pollard.

    “Yeah but, no but, it’s not me, right, it’s the system. The system is rotten, it’s not me, I’m just doing what the system makes me do. So s’not my fault, OK.”

    Both Helena Flame-haired Temptress and little David Scotchman appear to be going along with this super-gittery. “Yeah but, no but, it’s not them, it’s the bankers, right, if the bankers can do it woddja wanna havva go at polticians for. It’s not like they voted for it, is it?”

  246. 246
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apopletic)Voter says:

    Fucking Sean Woodward pleading to be treated as a “victim” I’m going to explode! stand clear!

  247. 247
    Anonymous says:

    omg kevin maguire is on sky news at 11.30

  248. 248
    Onan the Rotarian says:

    Pass the sick bag – am watching Woodward play the sinner saved on Newsnight, confessing how rotten the sytem is and how his back hurts from all the self-flagellation.

  249. 249
    thick as thieves says:

    AM and irish billy boy,
    never heard of you.
    however many hundreds of thousands of people have heard of the great and heroic thick as thieves and his epic adventure to rid the world of spastic trolls like the nobodies billy boy and his boyfriend AM.
    so, yeah, I guess I am kind of a legendary figure in the blogosphere.
    I never really thought of my contributions in that way but you have made a very good point.
    well done.

  250. 250
    Awaiting Moderation says:

    “We are the secret people.
    We have not spoken yet.”

  251. 251
    Aethelred says:

    Paxman has just said Polly Toynbee will be tomorrow calling for Gordon Brown to be replaced by that Alan Johnson bloke.


  252. 252
    Anonymous says:

    The pigs were only allowed to get away with thieving because the press, media gave up investigative journalism, brow beaten by Campbell and Blair in the early years of Nu Liebour into absolute submission.

    Look no further than our dearly beloved BBC. Concerned more with presentation than with content. Investigative journalism looked too much like hard work.

    But then along came Guido.

    Twelve years you pile of shit have been in power and all you can do is still blame the tories and every other fucker apart from yourselves.
    Whiter than white, remember that too? And now you’ve fucked the economy too. You are gonna get it right up you and fuckin soon. May you all rot in hell1

  253. 253
    Anonymous says:

    The big winner from all this Labour, Tory, and LibDem sleaze will be the B NP. The latest populus poll already puts the main parties well down and the B NP right up.

    Britain is heading for polarisation.

  254. 254
    nell says:

    Joanna Lumley / Kate Hoey versus Gorbals Mik – Fragrance versus manure ???

    Going to bed. Good night. God bless

  255. 255
    Awaiting Moderation says:

    Wouldn’t “Swine” have a more contemporary ring?

  256. 256
    Anonymous says:

    Toynbee is demanding they sack Brown immediately after the June 4th elections:

  257. 257
    Anonymous says:

    Does anyone get the impression ‘thick as thieves’ is a psycho?
    He’s definitely not well.

  258. 258
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apopletic)Voter says:

    Get back to dredging that moat before he sets the dogs on you.

  259. 259
    Anonymous says:

    He’s jewish – of course he’s going to ‘maximise his expense claims’.. duh…

  260. 260
    Anonymous says:

    Ben Brogan has told the BBC that Wednesdays Telegraph will feature Lib Dem sleaze.

    Saint Vince Cable must be shitting himself.

  261. 261
    Twizzle says:

    Pompous prick.

  262. 262
    Awaiting Moderation says:

    Surely a man who employs a butler hardly needs to flagellate himself.

  263. 263
    thick as thieves says:

    are you gideon or one of his bullingdon boys?

    you were all wanking outside my window again this morning and when I told you to go away one of you stuck his cock through my letterbox and wanked all over the circulars and free papers that are piled up against the door. dirty fucking spastics.

  264. 264

    Hoey – an acquaintance worked for her and could only be positive about her.

  265. 265
    thick as thieves says:

    are you gideon? why do you bullingdon boys keep hanging about outside my window. one of you wanked through my letterbox. dirty bastards.

  266. 266
    A M says:


  267. 267
  268. 268
    Anonymous says:

    Some big Labour sleaze stories being saved up for the weekend Telegraph. Purnell, Balls, Cooper, Hain, and Jowell figure large.

  269. 269
    Adrian Prole says:

    Telly Tubbies DVD finished, has it?

  270. 270
    Porky Pies says:

    Polly Toynbee – ahh that’s the left-wing socialist writer right? With a villa in Italy etc.

  271. 271
    Anonymous says:

    Gordon’s boyfriend.

  272. 272
    DT Editor says:

    Fuck me. I can’t keep up; things are moving so quickly. One minute I was asleep in my office for two years, the next thing this non-story comes along. Well, we all suspected the worst, didn’t we? I say that as a human and not a journalist.

  273. 273
    Polly Toynbum says:

    I love Gordon, I hate Gordon, I love Gordon, I hate Gordon……….ad nauseum

  274. 274
    Porky Pies says:

    Hogg by name porkie by nature. Fiddler on the Hoof.

  275. 275
    Everything in moderation including me says:

    Of course, he’s only a politician to ‘help the people’ nothing to do with representing Sainsbury’s interests in that most exclusive of clubs, the house of troughs

  276. 276
    Anonymous says:

    Brown must be feeling vulnerable. He’s got his fag-hag in tow on the telly tonight. There’ll be a televised outing to a school soon.

  277. 277
    thick as thieves says:

    yes, I am joking! hogg should not be drowned: the thieving c’unt should ofcourse be locked up in prison for defrauding the taxpayer.
    and trolls like you two wankers who try to protect the thief are just as corrupt as him. you are ofcourse conspiring to assist a fraudster in evading justice.
    you criminally minded c’unts!
    oh and if you want to hear some comedy, why don’t you fuck off to conservativefoam, lots of jokers over there, the place is stuffed full of them.
    ps dr nuts, don’t feed the trolls?
    but you are a troll you dopey spastic? dr, you are nuts.
    fooking hell; please forgive them Lord, they know not what they do.

  278. 278
    Dr Nuts says:

    No chance, there’s no way the fake tan will allow him to be any other colour than orange!

    It’s why McMental had the rising son on his head, from so much arse kissing to Mandelbot!

  279. 279
    Tony Blair says:

    Oh No !

    Has he been claiming for bog rolls as well as toilet seats

  280. 280
    Commissioner of the Met says:

    I gave you the scoop right here on Guido’s blog yesterday…

    Prize please…

    And there is more to come…

    I am drafting in detective many of the buggers…

  281. 281
    Sara Brown says:

    Toynbee just shoved a red hot poker up the no neck snotgobblers arse.
    newsnight 11.20

  282. 282
    thick as thieves says:

    see how you try to attack me but it just ends up with me getting us back onto the subject I want to talk about.
    good innit!
    I suppose you could call it de-blogabusting.
    2 new words in one evening.
    thick as thieves is a genius.

  283. 283
    K Maguire says:

    it all started in Guidoland.

  284. 284
    Anonymous says:

    Working from a script,you did that one a few weeks ago,you really need to find something better to do,like playing chicken on a railway crossing,if the train misses maybe a car will get you.

  285. 285
    thick as thieves says:

    don’t run away tory trolls, I haven’t quite finished caving your skulls in yet!

  286. 286
    Anonymous says:

    If you really are sorry, why don’t you pay it back?

    We may belive you then or would we?

  287. 287
    Anonymous says:

    Definitely a class thing going on here.

    Labour MPs on the fiddle trying to work up to a mansion.

    Tory MPs on the fiddle trying to upkeep their mansions.

    What they have in common is that they are all on the fiddle and they are fiddling it from you and I.

  288. 288
    nell says:

    The thing is, Gordon , bless him, thinks we are all idiots.’ Deluded man!!!! Sorry I said I was going to bed . Gone now. Ewanme is going to follow on!….no doubt with some French……..See ya tomorrow.

  289. 289
    smallbiz says:

    Left leaning types in disarray over expenses – they assumed that Nulab was at least the *fair* and *honest* party even if incompetent. Now they know, as we have here for some time, that the NuLabbers were the biggest troughers, they are a bit confused. Stephen Fry went on Newsnight to say it was all a fuss over nothing and he fiddled his bbc expenses. He is getting mauled by his twitter mass following.

  290. 290
    D L George says:

    I like that.

  291. 291
    Everything in moderation including me says:

    There really is no choice now, a vote for either of the two usual parties will be a vote for the same old troughs and scams. Can anyone here come up with a sane, sound reason not to vote BNP, no I haven’t yet, but apart from all the usual ZaNuLab lies about them, is there really any reason of substance not to vote for them.

    No abuse please, sensible opinions prefered.

  292. 292
    It doesn't add up... says:

    A little detail that had escaped me until now:

    “Phil Woolas is Labour MP for Oldham and claims for a second home in London. So what was he doing shopping at Tesco in Horsham, West Sussex? ”

    (Littlejohn in the Mail)

  293. 293

    […] +++ Hogg Claimed for Moat Dredging +++ Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Sir Walter ScottSS Sir Walter Scott set to returnEpilepsy Series-Disabled Legend Sir Walter Scott […]

  294. 294
    lololol says:

    They have that baroness loony or whatever her name is

  295. 295
    Anonymous says:

    Looks like Private Eye have got a lead on finding McBride, new photo ID released:

  296. 296
    Dr Feelgood says:

    What a smug and deluded cow that Toynbee is. Has to make a special appearance on Newsnight to announce that she is conferring her blessing on Johnson.

    Must think she’s like the prophet of old coming down from the mountain with divine revelation. Who does she think she is ffs?

    If she had any sense she’d have known Brown was a twunt 20 years ago.

  297. 297
    Sir William Waad says:

    On the Waad estates, we make a few dozen of the villeins clear the moat, as part of their boonwork.

  298. 298
    Anonymous says:

    Ben Brogan is one brave man. He’s crossed the most powerfull and the richest of the Land.

  299. 299
    P.C. Filth says:

    Well, sir, Knacker is temporarily knackered, having been on the pizza run. I had a Double Veggie Hot One because I want to live longer.
    I’ve come across the dessert to greet you with a smile, my camel looks so tired it’s hardly worth my while………….
    ……..amusing belly-dancers distract me from my wine……yadder…….helpless future …… blah, blah………dreams are made of this.
    I proceeded to apprehend the free-thinking ne’er-do-well and marched him in a southerly direction for a thorough de-briefing, sir. Here’s your Triple Meat Gobbler and how about a promotion, please. Over.

  300. 300
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    Kevin Maguire’s just come.

  301. 301
    Mr Christopher says:

    All sorts of interesting finds can be brought to light from the draining of a moat, or the dragging of a lake. Who knows where all the New Labour bodies are buried, what grim bones of skeletons yet unsuspected will rattle out forensic greetings to the investigator in days and weeks to come?

    Just as New Labour have laboured only to let injustice remain unseen, I look to the day when justice will be seen to be done, the glad and dreadful day when Brown and his accomplices are led forth in open ox carts from Newgate, and thence slowly through the angered crowds to Tyburn Tree!

  302. 302
    fanny by gaslight says:

    Good analysis. Pity Toenails, and the rest of the over-expensed trots at the Broon Broadcasting Corporation couldn’t work it out and point it out.

  303. 303
    Anonymous says:

    This whole thing is Ball’s plan to clear out labour of his enemies and become the next PM.

  304. 304
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    And he’s with McBride in drag!

  305. 305
    yellowbelly says:

    How proud I am to have Douglas Hogg as my MP. Claiming for moat cleaning is so much more stylish than mock tudor beams!

  306. 306
    dr. sipp says:

    Toynbee blessing of johnson is KISS of DEATH

  307. 307
    The Selection Commitee says:

    Our record of picking 100% thieving bastards is clearly in the rules and we have done absolutely nothing wrong.

  308. 308
    fanny by gaslight says:

    It’s on the billiard table, perched on the left nipple of the filipino houseboy, under your lady wife. You really should not have hid her gin for Lent.

  309. 309
    fanny by gaslight says:

    I could expect some balance, as I paid my licence fee.

  310. 310
    Porky Pies says:

    Nice one!

  311. 311
    Technomist says:

    I don’t care to be bothered to believe them any more. There is no credibility left with people who say they were just ‘following rules’.

    I want all my money back, and I want to see the thieves facing criminal charges.

  312. 312
    lololol says:

    Toilets is saying the system is dishonest,now let me think who brought this system of payments in ummmm ah the MPs.

  313. 313
    Anonymous says:

    At least Hogg claimed for the cleaning of his own moat, unlike Gordon who was claimed for his Bruvs cleaning.

  314. 314
    Irish Prod says:

    Oh dear TaT.. resorting to defamation? Isn’t that a reserved tactic of the troughing Hoon?

    If you don’t know me, then I’m quite happy to fly under the radar, in this Orwellian shithole that has become of our once powerhouse of economy and industry.

    The insinuation of homosexuality is another diversionary tactic, much used by corrupt media and governments, in conjunction with their lackeys.. are you sure you don’t have a small snout and just a *tiny* trough you should be sticking it in?

    At no point, did I insult, debase or harangue you, so your comments are more than unfounded, and, I would say, actionable. Fuck me, maybe they where within the rules.. eh?

    Now I can direct this at you.. Greedy – as – a – pig.

  315. 315
    The Real John Prescott says:

    i’m guessing here, but i think thick as shit has tourettes and is on amphetamines.
    (now awaiting post abuse below…)

  316. 316
    Irish Prod says:

    Oh, and TaT.. at no point did I disagree with your assesment of the troughing Hogg or Hoons.. so wind yer neck in.

  317. 317
    Mrs Anna Grammar says:

    Thick as Thieves = Fucking Hunt

  318. 318
    What me? Impartial? Nick Robinson says:

    Stainsey must be happy these events will secure our Scotch masters in power for another 4/5 years.

  319. 319
    lololol says:

    So long as you vote,who ever you vote for is up to you.

  320. 320
    Dr Nuts says:

    Thanks for that – I was having a nice glass of Port as well.

    Urgh! The mind rebels at the idea – but was that why Prescot got two lav lids, a matching his and hers?

  321. 321
    Mercian says:

    I thought the bloke said that if the expenses were going to be hived off to an outside organisation, they were going to make it exempt from the FOI Act? Thieving gits!

  322. 322
    Silent Majority says:

    This country has been completely shafted by Brown and labour. I worry that the Common Purpose parasite runs too deep and it’s just too late to turn this country around.

  323. 323
    Dr Nuts says:

    Can we have take-2 with Ruth Kelly in leathers – or just a bikini?

    All expenses for liquid splattered keyboards are private – so pass to your local MP for refunds!

  324. 324
    Dr Nuts says:

    No – it’s what you get with unsupervised ‘care in the community’. I know I’m a carer.

    Someone should be supervising and medicating as necessary.

  325. 325
    Anonymous says:

    This sounds like the plan, Balls getting too big for his sack, DT doing PM’s dirty work?

  326. 326
    Scorched Earth says:

    It’s mounting up isn’t it ?

    I doubt Cameron thinks he has escaped “lightly” as he is now considering “disciplining”some of his more piggish offenders.

    And we can only presume Clegg is at this moment frantically doorsteping his MP’s and demanding “what have you done!” as he waits anxiously to see how he will fare.

    Could the Telegraph keep this going for another entire week ?

    I wouldn’t rule it out.

  327. 327
    gosub says:

    To be fair the papers would have a field day if a constituent caught Weil’s disease whilst trying to get to see his elected representative.

  328. 328
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    I hate to say it, but it’s the only thing that frightens the arseholes in Parliament. Trouble is it frightens me too! If they did win an election, no doubt Sean Woodward will scuttle across the floor before they’d even parked their butts on the green leather!

  329. 329
    Bath plugs for the many, not the few says:

    Guido: could you conjure this thread back from the ether, please?

  330. 330
    Anonymous says:

    Update from last week. Had a heart attack and triple bypass last year, still got some complications like breathing and walking, anyway my £60.50 does not go very far, the house is going to be repossessed but the immediate problem is my gas and electricity bills so I rang the job centre for a crisis loan to pay them; they told me I had to travel on the bus a 80 mile round trip to sign for it, when I explained my condition that it would most probably kill me, they said well I’m sorry we can’t help you IT’S THE RULES.

  331. 331
    Mercian says:

    It’s a big garden. I think it’s called Hertfordshire.

  332. 332
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    Surely,the first rule of any soap is to keep the big ending building to a crescendo!

  333. 333
    Anonymous says:

    not on Sky or AljaBeeba

  334. 334
    Agnetha Fältskog says:

    Dennis Skinner

  335. 335
    thick as thieves says:

    I keep on using the term “troll” but I am not sure what it means. Can someone explain please?

  336. 336
    Mercian says:

    As Brown has been living above the shop in Downing Street for 12 years, why should we pay ANYTHING towards his private flat? Impeach the bugger.

  337. 337
    Mercian says:

    You’d better become an MP. They’d bring it round in a chauffeur-driven car then.

    Didn’t you know there’s one rule for the commissars and another for the serfs?

  338. 338
    Dave says:

    Fucking outrageous! Mr Cameron’s weathervane principles: “If there’s a case of someone who clearly did break the rules and that was totally unjustifiable then there may be a case for action,” he said. If… clearly did… totally unjustifiable then… maybe? MAYBE??? What more do you want? Much as I loathed Thatcher, I think she had more spine. Night of the long knives time…

    Would put the spotlight on Gormless Gordon’s leadership if 10 or so Tory MPs were persuaded to resign their seat, triggering by-elections.

  339. 339
    Anonymous says:

    Whoever it really was next time I hope he takes big steaming shite through your letterbox.

  340. 340
    Scorched Earth says:

    Well if they can print the Speakers and if they are as piggish as many presume then that would be a fitting climax as I doubt even he could brazen that out and would have to finally quit with the Telegraph claiming a fairly large scalp.

    Though I realise some are saying it’s the Balls/Cooper ones that are the most explosive too.

    Should be an “interesting” week. ;)

  341. 341
    Dr Nuts says:

    Alan Johnson for PM?


    I’d rather Ruth Kelly, she’s got principles – that’s proven last year. At least that’s more than can be said for the others. But who’d have a fellow Catholic for Prime Minister – after all, even Bliar waited until he’d left office.

    Being a Catholic means a strong sense of right or wrong – and there are too many who claim to be – but aren’t… Plastic Catholics in other words.

    Ruth Kelly for PM. > You know it makes sense!

  342. 342
    Sunonmars says:

    Yup, this all builds up to my theoy, that the telegraph is building up to the great big motherload of Balls, cooper, jowell, purnell and the other biggest troughers.

    The Telegraph will end this with and almighty bang. They have been dropping the titbits day by day, the good stuff aint even out yet.

  343. 343
  344. 344
    Polly Toynbee says:

    It takes a towering intellect, like my own, to recognise true political brilliance and shining leadership skills.

    That’s why I’m endorsing Gordon Johnson. Under him, Labour will win a fourth term.

    Or possibly Harriet Smith. Anyway …

  345. 345
    Scorched Earth says:

    My mistake they have already done the Speaker and they had some piggish behaviour but the Telegraph chose not to splash on them for some reason.

  346. 346
    Jumbo says:

    No, MOTE

  347. 347
    Anonymous says:

    perhaps Woolas has started taking Alli for weight loss, needs the Nappies for the Rectal Spotting side effect

  348. 348
    The Real John Prescott says:

    hmmm. putting on my pedants hat: ‘puta de la madre’ doesn’t really signify anything.

    ‘de puta madre’ in mainland spain = “the dogs bollocks” – i.e really cool. perhaps better here would be: GILIPOLLAS = wanker / twat / total and utter shit etc.

    Let’s use it in some sentences as an example:
    Snr Arbuthnot es gilipollas.
    Joder, ese Arbuthnot es un gilipollas.
    Thick as Thieves, pareces un verdadero gilipollas de mierda, tienes cara de pringao.

    To get the full effect when saying out loud, spread the syllables – GI-LI-POLLAS.

    here endeth the lesson.

  349. 349
    Colonel Madd says:

    Telegraph are pacing this one beautifully-its bound to go the full week; resume on Saturday followed by the utter disembowelling of the cabinet on Sunday.

    In terms of pure journalistic panache it has been a pleasure to watch

  350. 350
    sensible opinion says:

    BNP are at least splitting labour’s core vote.

  351. 351
    very worried anti-labour voter says:

    Tommorow is going to be VERY BAD for the tories. I think it is fair to say the tories have been as bad as zanulabour.

    BUT this latest set of revelations for chandeliers, cleaning moats etc, paints the picture of the tory toff.

    Wave goodbye to all those gains in working class areas.

    The tories are going to get fucked over this.

    I’m gutted.

    Looks like I’ve got to look forward to many more years of this totalitarian goverment.

  352. 352
    Sunonmars says:

    the man i offensive, he basically went dulally today and mp’s sat in jawdrop. He really sacked himself today.

  353. 353
    gosub says:

    Um, my mum has lived in in his constituency since before it was a constiuency, (since I was ten in fact) Stratfield Mortimer isn’t in Hampshire its in Berkshire, if you are ‘local’ you get the gist of names (lots of Statfield’s -maybe to put off the rioters when then Marched down from London to attack Duke of Wellington PM’s house (but I’m not jealous of Nelson columned statue was the give away Aurthur.) Stratfield Mortimer is the Stratfield in the Mortimer direction. Risely is the corner of NE Hants constituency. 3 stations within 15mins drive or taxi that recive trains from Waterloo 1hr (Basingstoke/Hook) and from Paddington 45mins(Reading) well past midnight.

  354. 354
    Charlie's Aunt says:

    Hardwidge – is it really you dear?

  355. 355
    Dame Celia Molestrangler says:

    Not if Dave wields the axe.

  356. 356
    Scrofulous Serf says:

    Does the buffoon Martin really think they will find twelve good men and true who will get within a whiff of producing a guilty verdict on some hapless clerk in the Fees Office – a bloke who’s had enough of having to pay for his own egg sandwich every lunchtime, whilst writing cheques for every constituency moat to be cleared and every chandelier to be buffed. If our mole collects a few hundred thou for his trouble, it’ll still be far better value than John (“legitimate expenses”) Bourne and his legion of ineffectual bean-counters. No jury is going to give the thumbs-down on that one. If fact, I can’t think of a more worthy nominee for the empty plinth.

  357. 357
    Dr Nuts says:

    My MP so completely loves representing Luton South – she designated her second home in Southampton!!

    So why’s she an MP? Oh, yes, the perks!

  358. 358
    Anonymous says:

    any fool knows you can’t polish a turd, why don’t you try it?

  359. 359
    Everything in moderation including me says:

    OK, which bit should frighten, I can’t find any specific nasty facts and the current shower need a rocket up their collective backsides!

    Also, just received a copy of the ‘swine flue’ leaflet and whilst there is 100% no mention the infected swine currently running the country from the house of troughs, there is a very expensive option on the back page to order up to 5 copies of said leaflet in about nine different languages!

  360. 360
    Baron Mandelson of Fop says:

    I can do leather or ermine.

  361. 361
    universal hiss says:


  362. 362
    Hercule Poirot says:

    £72,000 Black Hole in Ruth Kellys expenses

    Did this mystery ever get cleared up?

  363. 363
    Dr Nuts says:

    Interesting to note that Purnell claims £400 a month on food bills … plus the rest.

  364. 364
    Anonymous says:

    I did’nt know he played guitar. Does he do Bar mitzvah’s?

  365. 365
    Sunonmars says:

    not really, if its handled right, this will also boil dow to local issue also, how that mp behaved, Labour have far more to be worried about with 356 mps to tories 200.

    Brown and labour will still find a way to fuck this up, dont you worry about that.

  366. 366
    Anonymous says:

    2 Labour MP’s on suicide watch? Are they being kept locked in a padded cell?

  367. 367

    > They are looters.

    So do we all go John Galt?

    I think ewanme suggested doing that.

  368. 368

    Oh, I DO hope so!

  369. 369
    Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart says:

    So Benson, chap with wings (and cloven hooves), five rounds rapid fire!

  370. 370
    Prezza says:

    If he can ‘ave is moat dredged, wot about my colonic irrigation?

  371. 371
    Scorched Earth says:

    If he does then Brown will HAVE to do the same or look totally feeble.

    Blears is being “groomed” for the scapegoat role but there’s going to be a problem with the “criteria”” for Snout smacking.

    What is the cut off amount for expenses sleaze ? What are the aceptable wheezes and what are beyond the pale ? This is a minefield particularly if the Telegraph hasn’t published EVERY Bombshell yet.

    Besides Dave is speaking only of of Disciplinary action so far which may be nothing more than a few harsh words for all we know ? We’ll see soon enough I suspect.

  372. 372
    Anonymous says:

    there is always a paper trail in the civil service, martin is finished

  373. 373

    Wanking Hoon morelike.

  374. 374
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    I’ve got the utmost confidence in his unerring sense of direction to do just that.

  375. 375
    Anonymous says:

    The weird thing is that the Telegraph has been pro Brown and ZaNuLab to the point of embarrassment, begging the question was the hierarchy there hoping for something big in the honours list when Brown gets booted out, so perhaps this is already a done deal and all this current wave of ‘news’ has been run past Brown and the spinners already!

  376. 376
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    This is the what happens when the unscrupulous [DH-A] meet the infective [HOC Regulators]

    Quite obviously everybody involved regarded this money up to the maximum amount as up for grabs, requiring only a suitably lame excuse to be made for dishing it out. If something is freely available anybody, MP or peasant, will find a way to get their hands on it. Who amongst us can resist temptation?

    Imagine David gets home one evening to find Sharon Stone, bare breasted, legs akimbo, on his sofa. Drink in hand, she beckons him to sit down, and says, huskily, ‘ Hello Big Boy, you can have anything you want’
    David know she shouldn’t be there, his wife will be upset, but the temptation is too great, irresistible.
    ‘Actually, Sharon, we’re getting a bit low on horse shit.’
    Go on, tell me you’d act differently if it was offered on a plate.

  377. 377
    V.I. Lenin says:

    If it hadn’t been for the fucking Party, we would never have become Communists !

  378. 378
    Prince John says:

    Moat dredging, takes me back to when I ruled the Country with only that bastard Robin Hood to worry about.

    Take from the poor to give to the rich.

  379. 379
    Apathetic(soon to be upgraded to apoplectic)Voter says:

    The only paper i’d trust him with, is in the shithouse. even then i’d give it 5 minites.

  380. 380
    Dr Nuts says:

    Must be all that self-indulgent self-adulation that he thinks that he’s a superior intellect to everyone else.

    That, and that he thinks anyone actually gives a … about his opinions!

  381. 381

    An inability to spot relations obvious to others is a sign of early onset retardation.

    Have you seen a doctor recently?

  382. 382
    very worried anti-labour voter says:

    I think tonights poll is another bad indicator for the tories, both labour and conservatives are down 4 points.

    That poll was taken from 8-10th may over the weekend, that was after 2 full days of labour troughing in the paper, the tories troughing only came out on the night of the 10th, yet the torie vote drops as much as labour.

    Fucking gutted, it can only get worse after tommorow.

    These latest ones are awful, you get bet the BBC and the guardian will be taking the piss with all these “upper class” goodies the tories have been gorging on, knowing full well it will anger those in working class areas the most.

    They will be stirring the class war shit cauldron all fuckin day with a wooden spoon.

  383. 383
    A Bathplug says:

    And people complained when Five Bellies claimed me on expenses?!

  384. 384
    Anonymous says:

    Twitter ye not

  385. 385
  386. 386
    Anonymous says:

    Please dont associate those lovely people who we all have affection for with those greedy thieving bastard MPs. Carry on Execution would be good though.

  387. 387
    Yoda says:

    System the blame I?

  388. 388
    Anonymous says:

    It started in America…

  389. 389
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    206.I’ll have a portico if I can get one like that for £5 grand.

  390. 390
    Anonymous says:

    and the Robinsons too, hopefully. Greedy pigs.

  391. 391
    Anonymous says:

    Ooh, Matron!

  392. 392
    Richard Littlejohn says:

    Work in front of Gordon because of Gordon’s thrust in him!

  393. 393
    Anonymous says:

    “deselect” with baseball bats and sharp pointy things…

  394. 394
    wolvreen says:

    Poly writes in the guardian – shes ditched her glorious leader Gordon, apparently shes realised hes a man of no integrity, moral compass replaced by a Faberge egg, on expenses of course.
    Poor dear, shes finally cottoned on to what a poor leader he is, but defends herself dutifully by saying that a leaders mettle is not proven until well … its proven. He was well read, how could she know? We f*cking knew 5 years ago!
    Now shes backing Alan Johnson, the lucky little orphan. Christ its spin-the-bottle for Labour leaders.

  395. 395
    Anonymous says:


  396. 396
    Daisy Duke says:

    But our Jefferson Davis Hogg always gets his comeuppance in the end!

  397. 397
    Martin Day says:

    :lol: They seem to have shot themseleves in the foot over at PB!

    How long till Smithson has too climb down on that Fucking dreadful format???

  398. 398
    Ben elton says:

    You forgot the great Ben Elton!

  399. 399
    Jacobite says:

    I blame this on the pernicious Whig influence in the house.

    Bring back the devine right of Kings I say.

  400. 400
    Anonymous says:

    I fucking don’t

    TVL can go finger their fetid fundament on a pile of putrid porcupines

  401. 401
    Martin Day says:

    Fucking sleazy MP’s on todays list are complete cnuts!

    These politicians don’t live in the real world do they?

    I hope some of the Labour Cabinet lot get done for tax evasion as those rotten fucking Hunts pass laws they expect everybody else to abide by and then look at getting round them to save themseleves money!

    Labour + LD = Bunch of Sleazy troughers!

    Tories need a good Birching and wine enema’s all round plus made to repay the money! :smile:

  402. 402
    Jacobite says:

    divine, rather.

  403. 403
    Anonymous says:

    praps the barclays see balls as their best bet?

  404. 404
    fewqwer says:

    Where has FD got to lately?

    Surely some of this must be at least a little bit delicious, even fuckingly so?

  405. 405

    Didn’t he go to jail for VAT Fraud?

  406. 406
    Anonymous says:

    by ‘eck! you don’t get may of them t’pound!

  407. 407
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    I have my tax “evasion” defense nice and ready

  408. 408
    :o) says:

    and she is a Northern Ireland fan :o)

  409. 409
    lololol says:

    Only go on as a lurker,can’t stand tim and gabble,the new format is terrible but it’s Smithsons blog so whatever will be will be,sigh.

  410. 410
    JJ Abrams says:

    Only John Locke should be able to see her so that the mystique stays.

  411. 411

    Many Labour voters will revert to type and vote BNP…

  412. 412
    tisfedup says:

    PM Gordon christ sake.. the man has had a grace and favour houses for the last 12 years, cleaning butlering and every fucking thing else comes with it.. the home he claimed cleaning for belongs to his wife, for fuck sake why is he getting away with this blatant troughing, he is the prime minister surely the media should be coming down on him like a tonne of bricks.
    Cameron get diciplining, or face defeat.

  413. 413
    Colm says:


    It’s our own fault I suppose. We are a passive load of sheep.

  414. 414
    On the square says:

    So Mote It Be.

  415. 415

    Just took a look at what people are searching for at under popular searches today; ‘Gordon Brown’, ‘Leeches’, ‘Expenses’, and most tellingly; ‘hell’.

  416. 416

    Yep, but what’s weird is we have

    Working/Middle Class.
    Troughing Class (Benefit Leeching Underclass and Upper Class Rent-Seekers).

  417. 417
    Martin Day says:

    Maybe he has got his wish! I don’t think i will be going on there! :(

    He will be stuck with the creme de la creme of Gabble, Tim and the cry baby Mboy! :cry:

    Nevermind i can do more creative masterpieces for my blogs!

  418. 418
    Susie says:

    Only good thing about it is they’ve probably got the cash to pay it back, so we just might see our money again…

  419. 419
    tisfedup says:

    I am so fucking angry, senior troughers didnt fucking learn a thing while 12 years in wilderness, tories were our only visable hope to fix our country, and they fucked it, fucking wankers, i cannot tolerate this fucking labour party another minute let alone another term. what the fuck to do now, worse than anything mc bride couldv’e done.
    Cameron had better deal with this, we do not need these fuckers, get rid of them it’s the only way serious troughing sack em, ‘minor’ troughing give their constituants a choice., make em all pay the money back immediatley, even if it has to come out of party funds, I’m die hard Tory dying.

  420. 420
    Anonymous says:

    Cheers ‘Hazel Blears’! you just nearly made some piss come out. This expense scandle is morbidly hilarious. Phil Woolas remains one of the most obnoxious human beings ever shat into existence yet for some reason I have been buying him a drink for years. How has that happened?! Typically when it’s his turn, he’s either ‘moving house’, evicting Gurkhas or buying eyeliner. Talk about selfish

  421. 421
    Martin Day says:

    Brown ‘the Hoon’ also when switching the ownership to his wife enabled he through contacts to get a Lifetime Mortgage out on the flat at a tender age of 43!!! Lloyds TSB are a Bank that likes to say Yes to Mr Brown :wink:

    For more info and the chance to see a world war II Bomber on the Moon:

  422. 422
    Susie says:

    Agreed. Cameron could sack the lot of them (the grandees) and it wouldn’t affect the price of fish…

    Most of them are of an age when they’d be handing over the reigns anyway.

  423. 423
    Anonymous says:

    Horsham is where all the cool trannies hang out.

  424. 424
    tisfedup says:

    bit dramatic that last bit..i know

  425. 425
    very worried anti-labour voter says:

    I feel exactly the same.

    fucking gutted. :(

  426. 426
    Bollocks to NuLabour says:

    Thicko, you talk a good fight, very much all talk I would say.

  427. 427
    Susie says:

    So that’s another Labour government of 2 with the Tories and Libs 1 each = a hung parliament.

    I could save us a packet and let them use my scullery in the west wing to meet up and run the country. Dead easy, “What’s the budget situation? Oh still 3 trillion in the red, Prime Minister, no great improvement”.

    But only on Thursday afternoons (the staff are allowed to tend their pightles then).

  428. 428
    Alan Barnes says:

    Dear Thick as Thieves,

    I NEVER get wound up by the comments on here but are you some kind of recently sacked coke-head journalist in the midst of a mental breakdown? Perhaps you are Damian Mcbride. Who knows…? Whoever you are you are making the Guido comments page properly tedious and re-affirming your place in society as one giant roaring anus. Concentrate on the subject matter you dildo, or take your wisdom off to to

  429. 429
    Alan Clark says:

    Now you know.

    This is what I meant by people who have to buy their own furniture.

    Hunt and cad I may have been, but I’d no need to fiddle m’expenses like these losers….

  430. 430
    Guess Who? says:

    You got shares in a smiley factory?

  431. 431
  432. 432
    Susie says:

    You are sooooooo right.

    The day that Hutton report came out was the day the UK died.

  433. 433
    Bollocks to NuLabour says:

    TaT. I feel almost sorry for such a lonely, attention seeking twat. But with you I make an exception. I will end your life, doing you a favour, if I see you outside of this blog. Come down to Hay for the festival, I’m not far from there.

  434. 434
    Susie says:

    Spooky: ‘Hor sham’…

    I lived 25 miles from the place and never made the connection before now.

  435. 435
    Bollocks to NuLabour says:

    Ich kann auch kein franzosish! Ich kann auch nicht franzosish richtig buchstaberung!….und so wieter und so fort!!!

  436. 436
    Susie says:

    Seems not…

    Polly, December 2006:

    “Twice a year Gordon Brown fills his party’s sails with pride. His tornado of facts and figures magics up images of untold national wealth and success.

    …here is the man who studies everything, consuming documents with the speed of a shredder. Standing at the dispatch box, the towering superiority of his brain makes intellectual pygmies of his opponents.”

  437. 437
    Bollocks to NuLabour says:

    This would be the rebranding to NuLabour?

  438. 438
    Susie says:

    And I want to know what really happened to Dr. David Kelly.

    I want to know very badly.

  439. 439
    Bollocks to NuLabour says:

    More likely colonic irrigation, with the pork syringe.

  440. 440
    Bollocks to NuLabour says:

    Final warning? What a fuckwit you are TaT. You must find this blog an outlet for your pitiful anger. You lonely fucker.

  441. 441
    Susie says:

    Love you Alan.

    The man who took his ex-girlfriend on honeymoon along with his 16-year-old bride. Wish you were still here.

  442. 442
    Bollocks to NuLabour says:

    Sexual fantasy of your is it? You’ve mentioned it twice now. Sad sad lonely twat. But no surprise you are Johnny No Mates. No funny, not witty, just bitter.

  443. 443
    Bollocks to NuLabour says:

    “Very worried anti-labour”, you are worried over nothing. All of them are Hunts, but at least the tory Hunts don’t make the whole country pay for the next 30 years for their fuck-witted actions.

    The public will see through all of this and I hope never vote the labour twats in power again. Libs and tories are a better option.

  444. 444
    Bollocks to NuLabour says:

    Alan; just recognise TaT as the lonely twat he is. He gains pleasure on this site, Bless…..

  445. 445
    Bollocks to NuLabour says:

    The speaker is a COMPLETE C U N T………Scottish labour C U N T

  446. 446
    Call me Infidel says:

    Get back to the BNP website you racist fuckwit.

  447. 447
    St George Spits says:

    376 BBC and the guardian will be taking the piss with all these “upper class” . . it will anger those in working class areas the most.

    Working class doesn’t read the Grauniad, too many long words & not enough totty and footy, try the Mirror, they keep it to single syllable words.

  448. 448
    caesars wife says:

    i just cant help but wonder if mr speaker was a bit pissed as in too much gargle distillate , whilst he appologised for being in bad mood , hardly explains his tirade at kate Hoey , (the disc is out there no one is rebutting it MPs are in the wrong , why a police investigation unless its to re spin the story) .

    senior tories caught making it up , perhaps it is different planet these days , personally i blame the journalists and the benefits beautification project , name one journo that has investigated the system on behalf of the public ??, you would have thought kevin maguire would be right in there reporting on the corruption on behalf of his comrades , but no Kevin enjoys the payments in circle of silence/spin .

    now that labour could vanish from London , it seems that don toynbee has enjoyed a Hampstead Heath dinner party at which it was decided they must have a maytar , a letting of blood of sufficent magnitude to flush the agean stables and re establish the blairites in the hope that they can regain the flickering flames of the wicked media dumbing down , and save the party from its now Historical place as being a bunch of wasters who ruin nations .
    Her support for Alan Johnson is at first surprising for in her heart felt resume of Alan as orphan and postie she ommitted he was once leader of the Uk communist party , hardly a blairite as i understand the term blairite . A safe pair of hands ??? or some one who will save the postal workers votes at least .
    if london labour are having fits and calling time on gordon , i fear polly is out of touch , labour are sussed as an elitest ponzi sheme peddaling a wonk ideaology .

    But Cameron and Clegg are in it , no reports of flying nokia from there camps yet , but fawkes hasnt needed gunpowder this time , a shiny data disc is doing all the work , showing abuse at the very higest levels of goverment in a 1920s Chicargo untouchables fashion , the cops can be bought off , the strange committees filled with pro professional players doing pre approved work .

    But polly must have other things in the back of her mind , for I suspect that the heat is on her friends , could come back to Blair and in so doing begin the destruction of labours progress post 97 , was it all based on fairy tale ?? with so many people angry at the tax payer bills mounting from the failed banks and ridiculous spending , hocking her core voters into years of paying for her parties vanity.

    labour wish to avoid intenicene war , but yet the stage is set for them to have one in goverment , it would have been better for them to call a general election , put the prospect/manifesto to the public and let the public decide , and then have there internal war after .What is fascinating is that labour have never quite junked there socialist colours , it gagged them and put them into a box , but never really took a flame thrower to them in a sort of sentimental history muesum .

    labour was party born to bring about better working conditions and pay as the industrial revolution came on stream , it has somehow transformed to become paymaster of state beneifts clientel , a heresey, communist almost complete with corrupt political elite (where it always ends).

    now as people die early through being too fat , through watching all the mass media propganda , so much part of the state control construct , labour convulse as though having lab tested a whole nation to lethal dose national socialism , they see it doesnt work , you just cant control people completely into an idealised homogenised modernity without destroying freedom and personal responsibility or jobs it would seem .

    having trashed the country and made parliment into fois gras geese , they say the leader is wrong !! , well its a start , but as well as wasted year in prospect , what for them post june 4th , a reshuffle ? a new commitment?? to do what ?? still send the uk into a tax dark ages and by the looks of it civil breakdown . what manifesto was this in ??

    some dreams are pleasant , you wish to spend a few more minutes in them , labour have created a fear based nightmare and i dont want another second of it .

    repent repent for the end is nigh , what you have done will not stop at the ballot box , changing the leader is now insufficient , if labour have the guts put there future idea forward , and if cowardice hasnt completely infected the labour construct , call an election after all it will prove your wonk experiment right or wrong

  449. 449
    very worried anti-labour voter says:

    “Labour’s expenses have been bad, but I expect the man-in-the street can forgive a bathplug claimed by plebian Jacqui Smith more easily than the piano-tuning, domestic servants, moats, helipads, chandeliers and horse-manure claimed by the Tories’ grandees and multi-millionaires…”

    I took that from a post on political betting blog.

    It explains (much better than I could pretty shite at english and spelling) how I feel about this situation.

    David cameron has tried to fumagate this image of the tories.

    I am from a working class area I know how this shit will resonate. It’s not the fact they’ve screwed the system it highlights something far worse.

    These “Tory Grandees” may as well come from mars, 95% of the population cannot relate to them. Which begs the question how the fuck can they relate to us?

    Tommorows headline is the purest poison for the tories they are really fucked, this shit is 10 times worse than mcbride. :(

  450. 450
    Scallywag says:

    The Telegraph must be saving Mr & Mrs Ballsup’s misdeeds for this coming Sunday’s edition unless they have enough dirt to keep it all going until Sunday week.

    Personally, I can’t wait to see this phoney and his horrible gobshite of a wife taken apart…

  451. 451
    Scallywag says:

    Absolutely right. He actually brings Scotland, Glagow, the Gorbals and the Sheet Metal Worker’s Union into serious disrepute too. That take’s some doing!

  452. 452
    Dave says:

    Dissolve parliament and Call an election now, either that or face the country living under an extremist regime

  453. 453
    Dave says:

    DT should publish all the data as a searchable CD copies free with sundays DT

  454. 454
    TomTom says:

    Douglas Hogg probably needs the taxpayer handouts now his wife has wrecked 3i by loading it with £1.8 billion in debt and is headed for the exit.

  455. 455
    DR says:

    @ 223: “thick as thieves, a legend in his own mind?”

    No … a leg end in his own lifetime, more likely.

  456. 456
    Anonymous says:

    is that like a bent trumpet?

  457. 457
    Anonymous says:

    If he did it to music would they have to play Moatzart?

  458. 458
    Minekiller says:

    Pick his Cabinet…at IKEA

  459. 459
    Steve says:

    This is easily going to run until at least the weekend. There’s the LibDems (Weds) to come, followed by The nationalists (Thu), the few others in there (Fri).

    That leaves the weekend for the Premiership of hoons – Balls and Balls, Mandy, Gorbals, possibly another couple of hoons around (There can’t be anyone worse than Margaret Moron out there, surely).

    Anyone for a dissolution next week??
    DC has only today to sort this mess out, kick all the troughers back to their constituencies to prepare for de-selection and by-election. Couldn’t haappen to a nicer bunch of cnuts…

  460. 460
    Marian says:

    David Cameron could place the Conservative party in an unassailable position of moral authority over New Labour if he takes the initiative and sacks all the MP’s in his shadow ministerial team who have plainly been troughing it at the taxpayers expense. In fact sacking them may be the only thing that will regain the electorate’s confidence in his party and Westminster politicians in general.

  461. 461
    Gordon's Coffin says:

    Drew the short straw when I got McPiss and his bloated remains eh?

  462. 462

    They shoot looters, don’t they?

  463. 463
    eagerbeaver says:

    Have you ever read Clark’s diaries – he spends quite a lot of time in them bemoaning his lack of funds and trying to think of ways to raise money. The expenses system would have been a bonanza for him

  464. 464
    Anonymous says:

    Wonder how a Portico helps David Davis represent his constituents?

    Could have been worse though, no mention of CMD claimng for the windmill on his chimbley.

  465. 465
    John Ward says:

    Lord Steel? His answer is for MPs to be paid more.

  466. 466
    Swiss Bob says:

    Looters should be shot!

    On CH4 News last night there was a debate with three MPs, one from each party, Heather Brooke ‘dishy’ FOI campaiger and a couple of others, even the three ‘honest’ MP’s couldn’t bring themselves to actually saying Michael Marting should be sacked. Only Three Honest MPs? – CH4 News Expenses Debate.

    Ben Wallace CON:”He’s (Michael Martin) had plenty of years to do it, I give him very little time left, from a personal point of view I think it’s time, he’s failed the job, it’s time for him to go.”

    Yes it is.

  467. 467
    Nick Yerwatch says:

    It’s a security measure. There may be terrorists hiding there.

  468. 468
    nell says:

    Moats, Housekeepers and heated swimming pools !!- nice work if you can get it.
    Dave you are going to have to tell them ‘it’s time to go – don’t stand at the next election’
    My MP is among that lot. I shall be writing to tell him that I think he should fall on his sword to make way for someone who will promise to do better.

    Morning folks.

  469. 469
    Desk Jockey says:

    Shouldn’t this be on

  470. 470
    MPs can't hide behind FOI says:

    MP gets the law wrong

    MPs cannot get round the Freedom of Information Act by outsourcing their paperwork, the law firm Clifford Chance pointed out today.

  471. 471
    Julian says:

    So what we’re really saying here is:

    “Hogg has trough widened”

  472. 472
    Nick Yerwatch says:

    Of course it was based on a fairy tale. The line that ‘we will be radical but nothing will change’ was spun in 1997. There was never any substance to Blair. He spent ten years sorting out his retirement our expense,financial and physical and like the cheshire cat, all that was left was the grin.

    I applaud the media for highlighting this one example of the political classes at work but the same media has connived with the political classes to allow the situation to be created and to continue.

    Perhaps we should be asking the media – what have you been doing for the past 12 years and why didn’t you spot this as you were all pretty close to the situation.

  473. 473
    Steve says:

    Fleecing the tax payer with high salaries and high expenses…..

    …When do we get to see the BBC’s expenses???????????

  474. 474
    Anonymous says:

    What an extraordinary gaffe by Gorbals Mick. In the afternoon he defends MPs expenses, in the evening the excesses of the Tory grandees are released.

    Who would have thought a glasgow shop steward would defend moat dredging, helipads and pool cleaning at the taxpayer’s expense?

  475. 475
    Devil Rides Out says:

    Cameron very, very angry this morning on Sky – P45’s for the Tory piggies forcing Brown to act? Still dumbstruck by the sight of Blears in leather…

  476. 476
    angry french john says:

    Dishonourable Snouts.

    It’s all very well the Torygraph having a pop at the thieving bastards in sh*tehall. Trouble is it’s made all the other papers, journos and hacks take their collective eyes off the UK economy.
    Goes back to 9/11 when another dishourable stated “It’s a good day to bury bad news”
    What’s slipping under the radar now. Yes the snouts are ripping off the taxpayer for a few hundred thousand, whilst the Mcbastards are squandering zillions.

  477. 477
    Dogger says:

    Has anyone got a you tube link for the gorbals/hoey spat? Hunted high and low.

    Thank you in anticipation of your kind assistance in this matter.

  478. 478
    Little Guido says:

    There is only one party which isnt party to this scam, thats Libertas, we are committed to openess and will not partake in this blatant taking of public money for profit.
    I cannot understand the way politicians can do this, its beyond me.

  479. 479
    Another mad Fife git says:

    Can we sustain this nonsense in memory till the next election. They have to change the system pretty damned quick so we will all forget what crooks they are.


    Please God the ever disinterested electorate don’t vote the bastards back in

  480. 480
    Anonymous says:

    Sorry dave those “appalled” WISTERIA tears won’t cut it!

  481. 481
    Rolex_Pride says:

    Ahhh… the piercing wit, the subtle humour… must be a ten year-old.

  482. 482
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    It’s obvious from comments made in the HoC yesterday both by Speaker Martin and some MPs that they obviously still haven’t got the message from the electorate and would rather blame firstly whoever leaked the information and secondly the media for publishing it – in fact some MPs would rather blame anybody but themselves whilst bleating on about the fact that everything that has been claimed “within the rules” or that by implication that at £65,000 a year they are underpaid and that the allowances are their right and entitlement to boost their incomes.

    They’re wrong on all accounts – firstly why should the tax-payer pay for millionaires to have their moat dredged or swimming pools cleaned or gardens landscaped – exactly what has that to do with actually being a member of Parliament ? Claiming for food – mars bars;dog food;baby cots and whatever – MPs should realise that equally unless before they became MPs they never ate or had children or had pets then people pay for those things from income – allowances are NOT income they are to cover proper out of pocket expenses.

    Some MPs and the Speaker seem to think that Parliament is a private club funded for their enjoyment and privileges – it isn’t.

    Yesterday Speaker’Martin’s comments were an absolute disgrace to the chair that he occupies – we saw there a man who blamed everyone including the electorate I suspect for daring to criticise firstly him and secondly Parliament and came across as someone who to paraphrase his own words -“didn’t enter politics not to get what’s my due !” Speaker Martin – it isn’t YOUR due – you are a servant of the people sovereign in Parliament – the people not the politicians who similarly hold everything by the will of the people who have elected them as their representative and the people have found you and some in the House to have served them ill and have reached the conclusion that you have served sufficiently overlong in your position – you must go and so must all the worst offenders amongst the less than “Honorable Members” who have dragged the reputation of what is regarded throughout the World as the “Mother of Parliaments” into the gutter by your and their their venality and greed !

  483. 483
    Rolex_Pride says:

    The fact that they’re basically socialists under a different banner is a pretty good reason not to vote for them.

  484. 484
    Anonymous says:

    I have a feeling in my water that Michael Martin is going to be dumped. both gordon and CMD will put the blame of their MPs excesses squarely on Mick’s shoulders and hope to clear the lot when Mr speaker speaks no more.

    michael Martin = scape Goat

  485. 485
    Big Massive Wood says:

    You’ll love this, guys:

    BBC appoints Muslim to top religious post in controversial first

    Not a lot, mind.

  486. 486
    MacMental the McMoron says:


  487. 487
  488. 488
    Anonymous says:

    Scape goat or not, he is worse than useless. Illiterate, ignorant. boorish and incompetent. A hoon of the first order.

  489. 489
    Dick the Prick says:

    And there was me praising him a few months back. End him.

  490. 490
    Devil Rides Out says:

    At least Cameron is putting on a show of being pissed off – pity Brown couldn’t do the same instead of his appalling performance on Youtube. Fucking dead horse.

  491. 491
    Pollyana the crapulous guardian of fantasy says:

    “Pollyfilla – normally employed to paper over cracks” Homebase product description.

  492. 492
    Mr. ED says:

    I want my shit back.

  493. 493
    Anonymous says:

    Will the electorate take the cuts that have to come from a millionaire old Etonian with a Wisteria problem? I think not.Thinking of taking action against some of his MP’s……..pot,kettle,black!

  494. 494
    What Gordon did next says:

    caesers wife

    A lot of words there but nearly every one hits the mark with unerring accuracy. Go to the front of the class.

  495. 495
    Dick the Prick says:

    Hogg’s a fool. I thought he was his dad – no, no, no, no.

  496. 496
  497. 497
    Dick the Prick says:

    His dad had style

  498. 498
    Anonymous says:

    We are being islamified. Stand up before it’s too late FFS!

  499. 499
    Anonymous says:

    Well of course, no doubt about it, the whole sorry media is to blame too, no question in my mind, absolutely complicite. The only decent person appears to be Tom Bradby on ITV. Just like Nick Robinson WAS before he had to be neutered as part of his transfer to dear old auntie. Poacher turned gamekeeper. THEY ALL KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON, NEWSPAPER JOURNALISTS, OWNERS, TV ESPECIALLY THE BEEB(I’D LIKE TO SEE THEIR EXPENSES NOW), ALL FOLLOWING THEIR OWN AGENDAS.


    I have great friends, family and neighbours, but my God how did we manage to grow Hunts like this to ruin our lives.

  500. 500
    What Gordon did next says:

    you could also add:

    dog end
    bell end

    The end

  501. 501
    John Ward says:

    …and the piano. We had her at our Castle Gardens classical concert nearly two years ago — sheer Klass (as Adrian Prole also comments, but in my case it’s based on personal experience: I was there!)

  502. 502
    Dogger says:

    Me too, I think it’s a virtual certainty. If he gets replaced with another sporren jockey I will give up all hope.

  503. 503
    P1 says:

    Davis is a bit dissappointing as his £5,700 Portico stands out as one of the largest one-off costs listed. In principle it is no more necessary for his work as an MP than is a moat, a tennis court, a carrier bag, a bath plug, a kitchen sink, a Sky subscription (Sky news is free on Freeview if you insist), a windmill, cleaning your wife’s flat that you don’t use any more, a baby’s cot (for the MP’s sole and exclusive use?), nappies (ditto) mock tudor beams etc etc etc…… All of these things are clealry not in accordance with “the rules” despite all assertions to the contrary, and all sums involved should be paid back with interest at HMRC penalty rates. The test of exclsuive and sole use by the MP in performing their duty as an MP is clearly a subjective one as well, but equally clealry it is breached by most of the claims made.

    Cameron needs to round up his lot, get some moeny opaid back or at least committed with a payment plan, and sack/resign some of the worst offenders . He shoudl also commit his party to supporting a fixed salalry for the life of the enxt Parliament with expenses for budsiness use claimed back in a conventional and policed way. Any unaffordsable secon homes will have to be sold.

    The really big abuse is the Flipping and the purchaseing of second homes in unlikley places (eg Southampton for Moran). Simple immediate solution – stop paying for them now!

    Let’s hope the DTel has saved up some good stuff on the appalling Keens, the incompetent and slimy Balls/Cooper, Martin, the Wintertons, and wasn’t there supposed to be someone whose second home is in the Isle of Man?

    Oh yes, and Martin again – has anyone called the police and HMRC snitch-line about his own arrangments yet?

  504. 504
    Anonymous says:

    Yes he is all of those things and the Tory Grandees also out on a limb. but at least they are not professional politicians who nknow nothing else but the ideology of social politics. The Balls’s and Millibands of this world are far far worse wanting to force all of us to live and think according to their ideology.

    the gobals micks and country gentlemen of this world help provide a necessary balance to those that want to control our lives from cradle to grave.

  505. 505
    the people's revenge says:

    No promotion to Speaker for this little piggie now then.

  506. 506
    John Ward says:

    Such a claim must be seen as a way to divert direct attention away from his favoured Labourites. The case of Philip Hollobone (our cheapest MP) is just one of many examples that show such a blanket statement to be easily disproved.

    Fry should know better: but Leftie luvvies seemingly always put their own agenda above honesty — which is in itself a very useful clue when dealing with matters such as this, by the way.

  507. 507
    Big Massive Wood says:

    More joy on the horizon:

    “Newsnight accused of ‘dumbing down’ with a talent contest for immigrants”

  508. 508
    John Ward says:

    It is something of a moat point…

  509. 509
    Hamish Macbeth says:

    Why not make Kate Hoey PM…….

    She is one of only a few decent MPs on that side of the house

  510. 510
    Anonymous says:

    Dave you need to get that Ben Wallace off the TV, he’s making things worse.

  511. 511
    Anonymous says:

    Is the moat to keep the proles out?

  512. 512
    Private Sponge says:

    Parliament IS a private club, with Tax payer subsidised bars and restaurants, even the smoking ban doesn’t apply to the dis-honourable members.

  513. 513
    Dogger says:

    ‘Dredging the moat’ – that’s a helluva misogynistic way of describing your wife’s investigative gynaecological procedure. Very non-PC.

  514. 514
    Lizzie says:

    I agree , what has Brown done about his cabinet spongers…nothing! Brown has no courage, I wonder who wrote his book on it, surely it wasn’t him.

  515. 515
    Anonymous says:

    Mrs dale seems to have lost her voice.

    That’s both his best muckers, David and Hazel caught on the fiddle now. He does have previous though with his other best mate Nicholas Winterton.

  516. 516
    bergen says:

    His grandfather,also Douglas Hogg,the first Lord Hailsham,was so unmemorable a cabinet minister that the then Foreign Secretary referred to him as “a rather clever lawyer called Pig.”

    Unfortunately his grandson really is a pig.

  517. 517
    Raving Loon says:

    The BNP are just like Labour except they don’t like foreigners, that’s basically the only difference.

  518. 518
    Lizzie says:

    I just listening to John Mann MP on Sky, what an idiot, trying to get “Brownie” points, is he hoping his boss will give him a position in his new cabinet for clever talk, get a life man!

  519. 519
    St. David says:

    Those that complain about the Islamists ‘taking over’ should ask themselves How many times have they attended Church in the past six months, year, five years!

    If you profess to be Christian, do you practise? If not why not?

    Then ask yourself another question. Why is the present Archbishop of Canterbury so silent on this massive scandal? Where is his spiritual guidance to the Nation. Similarly the Roman Catholic Church, the Jewish Faith etc. etc.

    The truth is, we have all become Godless, putting self and money before all else.

    We are being turned into an Islamist State. It will happen sooner, rather than later. The Godless will suffer and lose all their wealth and possessions.
    The faithful will live in harmony.

    It is not just the rotten Houses of Parliament that need to be culled, it is also all of us, for turning away from the Lord.

    Prepare for the worst.

  520. 520
    WerdnaRetral says:

  521. 521
    Jeremy Paxman says:

    Welcome to BBC2 Newsnight’s Britain’s Got Immigrant Talent. And on tonight’s show we’ve got an Iraqi “student” who’s going to juggle IEDs plus another “student” from Somalia who is going to sing “Dancing Queen” whilst hanging onto the underside of a Eddie Stobart truck!

  522. 522

    It was a moat that started in America.

  523. 523
    Ivor Phartparp says:

    Yeah but, how much was the claim for deodorant in his conservatory?

  524. 524

    I think you’ll find the correct term is “wife unit”.

  525. 525
    Ivor Phartparp says:

    German ugly midget, I think. Innit?

  526. 526

    You are Ann Widdecombe and I claim my pringles-pack of smoky bacon holy wafers.

  527. 527
    Dr Feelgood says:

    What was the effing point of it? I’m mystified.

  528. 528
    Lizzie says:

    I know an Englishman’s home is his castle, but getting your own moat is taking things a little too far methinks.

  529. 529
    Dr Feelgood says:

    Hope so, then at least one good thing will come out of this fiasco.

  530. 530

    A Titan prison can house around 2,500 MPs at a cost of £400m. It must be cheaper to provide all MPs with a prison cell than the second home allowance.

  531. 531

    […] Guido Fawkes: +++ Hogg Claimed for Moat Dredging +++ […]

  532. 532
    Dr Feelgood says:

    Will there be smiting? The Lord loves a bit of smiting, doesn’t he.

  533. 533
    Big Massive Wood says:

    My sky pixies are better than yours and I’ll deck you if you say otherwise.

  534. 534
    Doctor Mick says:

    Why do I need to practise to be a Christian? I’m pretty damn good at it already. Turn the other one and kiss my cheek.

  535. 535
    Swiss Bob says:

    Guido, you bastard, you’ve gone and done me up like a kipper (I was saving this for later): The Bizarrograph are fans.

    Damn spoilers.

  536. 536
    simon says:

    If i hear any of these wankers going on about ‘value for money’ or ‘benefit cheats’ or ‘tax dodgers’ i will have to have a brown (not Gordon) paper bag at the ready. I know most (if not all) politicians are hypocritical self-serving f’kwits, but i am seriously considering voting for a bunch of weirdos (BNP) to stick two fingers up to the Westminster larconists- prison should beckon for all crooks.

  537. 537
    Gordian Knot says:

    I’ve just suddenly noticed that the system needs changing.

  538. 538
    Dr Feelgood says:

    Alan, didn’t Lord Deedes point out that the Clarks were “the sort of people who had to buy their own castle”?

  539. 539
    art1000 says:

    Well said. However when the historians (not Broon) look at this catastrophe years from now they will look at the subversion and entryism of the Labour movement by the Fabians. Talent scouting earnest young trots like Broon and Darling and fast tracking them through to leadership in the party as tools in their goal of the creation of an Elite Vanguard to lead us to a ‘Better Society’.

    By far the most useful to them were the young scot-trots. These fellows who detested Scotland, called themselves North Britons and denied their culture and heritage. If they did not care about their own country they certainly would not give a monkeys about England’s culture and society either. Who better to implement a new, modernising grand plan if anything in existence, even if it worked, was neither understood or valued. My guess is the Fabians will take the hit on this, lay low and plot for the next time.

  540. 540

    I am so appalled by the LAB/CON troughers I am thinking of voting for a fringe party, the choice is between LIBERTAS or DIGNITAS.

    I don’t know whether to vote or kill myself!

  541. 541
    Sid James says:

    I shall ‘ave ta watch me dyslexia – I thought Davis had paid thousands for ‘aving a ‘Portillio’ in his manor.

    ha ha ha

  542. 542
    Anonymous says:

    It’s called “enrichment”. It’s something that makes lefties feel warm and fuzzy before collecting their salaries which you are compelled to pay them.

  543. 543
    Titan and Lucien says:

    Yvette tried desperately to regain vaginal continence after a painful childbirth.

  544. 544
    Sid James says:

    How about a floating barge prison? They can moor it outside Parliament! No payment even for hotels then!

  545. 545
    Anonymous says:

    Keep a list of shame permanently on your site, until they do the decent thing.Names and photos. All parties.

  546. 546
    Scorched Earth says:

    Norman Tebbits is calling for voters NOT to vote Conservative at the Euro Elections.

    Nice timing Norman.
    Not that long after call me Dave expelled multimillionaire Stuart Wheeler out of the Party for much the same kind of disloyalty you have now put Cameron in the position of looking weak for doing nothing about your comments or having to reprimand you as well as the other Tories in the crosshairs for his “disciplinary” action.

    With friends like Tebbit ?

  547. 547
    Brown the Clown says:

    Where’s my powder puff?

  548. 548
    Anonymous says:

    Dream on, Anon!

  549. 549
    Vimeiro says:

    Always keep something in reserve.

  550. 550
    Anonymous says:

    If he sacks the worst offenders. It will really put Brown on the spot.

  551. 551
    Anonymous says:

    How can Brown possibly have a heart attack ?

  552. 552
    Anonymous says:

    These Hunts are going to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory unless they are got rid of.

  553. 553
    Eric Cantona says:

    I’m not sure Lizzie.

    My first instinct was to think the same, but at least John Mann has the balls to publish his expense details on his web page.

    However, he doesn’t give us the real detail, which would be much more interesting, and might throw up a few anomalies.

    Your point is well made though.

  554. 554
    What Gordon did next says:

    I told to stop calling me puff. And please dont be so brutal with that wand of yours, it makes my eyes water which spoils my makeup

  555. 555
    What Gordon did next says:

    Stop press.

    The Sun says Dave left for Westminster early this morning fired up and ready to withdraw the Whip from the miscreants.

    I do hope he does.

  556. 556
    Anonymous says:

    With respect to Heathcoat-Amory, it’s my understanding that due to the unedited nature of the Telegraph’s scoop, they are unable to tell the fact that although manure appeared on one of his recepits, it is not an item that was claimed for. It’s a shame that he’s in the shit for this – especially as he hasn’t done what he stands accused of on the front of the Telegraph – but he did claim thousands of pounds for his landscaping and gardening: pathetic.

  557. 557
    Airey Belvoir says:

    And why behold you the mote that is in your brother’s eye, but consider not the beam that is in your own eye? Matt 7.3

    In Prescott’s case, the mock Tudor beam.

  558. 558
    Keyo says:

    ‘Troll ‘ To Troll, was first used in the 18th century, it seems a Cedrick Giggleswick was found guilty of this offense and sentenced to 6 months imprisonment and also had his donkey Dollymixture taken into care

  559. 559
    Anonymous says:

    One that doesn’t float would be better.

  560. 560
    Anonymous says:

    Do you really expect the boys and girls to pull a stunt like this and then get rewarded with Euro votes?Think again sonny,think again!The polls had already gone south before NT spoke.The truth hurts and he’s right!!!

  561. 561
    Clean living Englishman says:

    Pois e uma cambada de merde, filhas de maes com camas incertas, grandissimos porcos, putanos.

    Good enough?

  562. 562
    Anonymous says:

    What action will he be taking agaist himself over the wisteria scam-withdraw whip?

  563. 563
    Shop steward Martin says:

    To help Plod along everyone on here should make a formal complaint to Scotland Yard Fraud squad and you can do it online.

    Name every MP you want investigated and why.

    That’ll take Plod’s eye off the ridiculous Speaker’s demand for an investigation into the leaker.

  564. 564
    Harvey Tuckett says:

    David Davis – Haltemprice & Howden.
    Smug fucker of the first order – full of himself!!!
    Go get him Dave!!

  565. 565
    DR says:

    Yes, he was quite disgusting in the Newsnight clip. How dare he suggest to camera that we’ve all fiddled our expenses?

    He’ll live to regret these remarks like Ratner did his.

  566. 566
    Shop steward Martin says:

    Only 4 left that saves a fortune in expenses. Next parliament can convene in the members tea room, the debating chamber, filled with waxworks former MPs, can become a paying tourist attraction, receipts to repay the fraud on taxpayers…

  567. 567
    Udderly 'orrible says:

    Udder by any chance?, nick her she’s a slipepry one….

  568. 568
    If you go down to the Woodward's today you're in for a big surprise says:

    I think you will find he employed the butler in a number of suprising ways. Mandy is rather close too.

  569. 569
    Gordon Brown's Nokia (Ouch!) says:

    Hogg appears to be aptly named

  570. 570
    Lord Pedro Fondlebum of Boy says:

    Join the queue sonny. I was here first and will always use my rank.

  571. 571
    Geoff Hoon's memo says:

    Bollocks. Why I didn’t I think of these scams? Still there’s plenty of time – another year to fill the coffers before the unwashed see me heading for the Lords.

  572. 572
    Pollyana the crapulous guardian of fantasy says:

    Hardly a recommendation, the Putrid Polyfilla blows in the wind we(e)akly

  573. 573
    88p bath plug says:

    ….and with what moral authority do the liars, frauds and cheats on all sides of the house lay down law to us?

    Tax strike, tv license fee strike, council tax strike, parking ticket strike.

    When you’re caught ask about the police inquiry into the home secretary’s bath plug porn.

  574. 574
    Smoking weed says:

    This is making me wisterical and driving me up the wall.

  575. 575
    Dusty Harris says:

    Who said it was for my face?

  576. 576
    Arbuthnot's peasant down in Hampshire says:

    He is also my local MP and I have written to him this morning to let him know what I think – he has a garden that takes 4 hours to mow.
    You could not make these stories up,even if you employed the best Hollywood scriptwriters,they would be rejected as being far fetched and fantasy.
    As I save for my kids to go to University,this guy is spending half of my son’s annual tuition fees on his swimming pool.

  577. 577
    Colonel Mustard says:

    I heard it was in Waterloo with a banana.

  578. 578
    David Willetts (son et lumiere show by appointment) says:

    Can I have 25 of them changed please?

  579. 579
    Alan Shergar says:

    You’re fired! Shergar shit must cost more, surely?

  580. 580
    Pattie O'Eater says:

    Southampton holiday shag pads. Essex holiday homes. Address switching. Bog seats for the overweight. Artex. Kitchen and shower/bathroom refits. Plasma TVs. Mortgage/Capital Gains Tax scams. Taxi for wife with homehelp to shop for neaps and tatties.

    Gorbals Mick is typical of the fiddling scum we have in Parliament. No wonder he is defending what he has encouraged.

  581. 581
    Mr Chris 'Tean says:

    Smite them, oh mighty smiter.

  582. 582
    Albert Pierrepoint says:

    Unquestionably. Hoonish behaviour or appearnace should be a hooning offence.

    Anyone know his weight and height? I can be there in 45 minutes.

  583. 583
    Dick Timney says:

    Shut the fuck up and watch the film.

  584. 584
    Don't Shoot me,I'm only the piano tuner... says:

    It would at least be acceptable if it was piano WIRE for the purposes of being tied around the Hoggs neck…..

  585. 585
    Don't Shoot me,I'm only the piano tuner... says:

    Surely he could get a load of shit from Hull’s favourite resident,none other than “two loo seats” Prescott…
    Actually,Prescott could go round and vomit up his food too,that we have paid for to the tune (or smell in his case) of £4,000 per year.
    Don’t forget that if you buy your £4,000 of food at Tesco,you will also get £40 in Tesco Clubcard vouchers – it’s simply never-ending,this cash generation scam.

  586. 586
    fewqwer says:

    The ‘morally unassailable’ thing to do was not to let it happen in the first place.

  587. 587
    Anonymous says:

    When the peasants come with their pitchforks and torches, the repair of moat could be seen as an essential item.

  588. 588
    Don't Shoot me,I'm only the piano tuner... says:

    He could get a transplant?

  589. 589
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t forget Conway. Dale doesn’t comment on his friends.

  590. 590
    Anonymous says:

    But surely loads of them are on sick leave following the murder of Ian Tomlinson?

  591. 591
    Portico?Surely you mean Portillo,is he still for rent? says:

    Surely that fine masonry could bear the weight of at least 8 MP’s hanging by their genitals?

  592. 592
    March on Parliament NOW says:

    The rotten ones could be the new exhibits at the London Dungeon

  593. 593
    M. Cawdery says:

    The lack of basic morality in these expense claims is astounding. However, when I heard this morning on the BBC news that a minor newsreader received a salary of £92,000 (yes, £92,000) I have an element of sympathy for MPs with a salary of ~£64,000 for doing a far more arduous and responsible job.

    However, it does highlight the overall problem that Govt. funded jobs are in many cases grossly inflated in relation to value of the job. I suggest that a major investigation into value for money of all such salaries.
    May 12, 2009 (11:11am)

  594. 594
    M. Cawdery says:

    The lack of basic morality in these expense claims is astounding. However, when I heard this morning on the BBC news that a minor newsreader received a salary of £92,000 (yes, £92,000) I have an element of sympathy for MPs with a salary of ~£64,000 for doing a far more arduous and responsible job.

    However, it does highlight the overall problem that Govt. funded jobs are in many cases grossly inflated in relation to value of the job. I suggest that a major investigation into value for money of all such salaries.

  595. 595
    M. Cawdery says:

    A prison but only one of the old ones. A new prison should be built for criminals to ensure they get their human rights. The MPs do not deserve decent accommodation after all their scams; the old prisons will do rightly

  596. 596
    M. Cawdery says:

    Did not think of that one but the best idea yet. Should save money on transport too.

  597. 597
    i fucking told you so says:

    monsieur harrbufnotte est une chiure puante, un sale fils de pute, l’excrement d’un chameau sidaique.
    i hope this does it in the mean time – it sure covers some of my lighter thoughts about him….

  598. 598
    HRH (his royal hogness)terry trotter says:

    with a name like hog he had to go into politics did he not?

  599. 599
    HRH (his royal hogness)terry trotter says:

    lord bend over wendover mandleson has got a new job as chief whip

  600. 600
    Steve says:

    Now there´s someone who´d get my vote any day :-D

  601. 601
    lord farqueerharson dildo-smythe says:

    can i claim for a more powerful fan? as the shit hitting the last one overwhelmed it.

  602. 602
    sir darius digby dirtbox denby says:

    can I claim for a more powerful fan? as the shit overwhelmed the last one.

  603. 603
    Steve says:

    I hear that there´s a certain well-known ¨therapist¨ looking for work at the moment…

  604. 604
    Anonymous says:

    “I guess I am kind of a legendary figure in the blogosphere.”


    Billy no mates!

  605. 605
    A M says:

    Gilipolla o Gilipollas : Persona que hace o dice tonterias.
    A person that does or says silly/ foolish/stupid things.
    Gilipolla is a commonly used word, even by children/parents in normal conversation, but
    Hijo/a de puta de la madre is far more offensive as it’s against the mother.
    I take it you live on mainland Spain? So do I, TONTO.

  606. 606
    thick as thieves says:

    no no, I am confident I could give your ears and big nose a good cuffing.
    you big nosed c’unt.

  607. 607
    thick as thieves says:

    335, think up your own name, don’t steal other peoples.

    note to all fans of the heroic thick as thieves: have you c’unts paid your subscriptions this month?
    I am gratified that you have been following my posts so closely and that you have been reacting so vigorously to what I have to say. I am glad I can offer a highlight to your miserable and boring lives.
    it is God’s work really. I have helped so many afflicted individuals like you and I have put so many cretins out of their misery that I must surely have guaranteed my place in heaven by now.
    all the best, your hero
    thick as thieves

  608. 608
    thick as thieves says:

    note to spastics: that rattled your cage eh?

  609. 609
    thick as thieves says:

    you are a person who is such a coward they are too scared to post a name.
    who cares what a coward like you says.
    you gutless c’unt.

  610. 610
    Scorched Earth says:

    Nope. I expect the Tories and New Labour to get hammered in the Polls and the Euros as does everyone else, sonny.

    However, the Polecat Tebbit is simply a coward who doesn’t have the balls to actually defect to UKip or actually say Vote UKip so uses weasel words in an effort to nominally stay a Conservative lest call me Dave slap him out of the Party.

    So we can presume Tebbit is in effect calling on Voters to Vote for Veritas or the Greens then if this isn’t the case ? Interesting Political “positioning” Norman though it does make you look a fool.

    Besides anyone stupendously dumb enough to think Ukip don’t have their Snouts firmly in the trough haven’t been paying attention.

    “I can make shedloads of cash as an MEP’s cushy”
    UKIP MEP Tom Wise last year.

    Or perhaps you don’t think that sound like a piggy squealing happily ?

    Here’s far, far more of the “probity” of Ukip.

  611. 611
    Baldrick says:

    I think it is perfectly acceptable for 3rd Viscount Hailsham, to claim for moat dredging. Indeed my current employer Lord Black Adder derives most of his income from expense fiddling along with tax avoidance, and a smattering of fraud. Are we really going to deny the ruling classes one of their major revenue streams by ruling out bent expense claims. If so, where will it stop? I hope this doesn’t threaten the lucrative cash for honours industry, one of the most successful industries of the last decade.

  612. 612
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve already said what it is.

    One house and two sets of claims for the same items.

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