Lunchtime with Jamie Oliveoil
The Taxpayers’ Alliance has gone viral to promote their new report out today showing that the EU’s Common Agricultural Policy costs each household in Britain £400 a year. Jamie Oliver is actually cooking for the G20 Summit. Unfortunately this recipe for protectionist EU fudge sticks in the gullet…
G20 Summit…it’s all Bish, Bosh, Bash. Jamie’s gonna send out for a big tub of KFC.
I think I heard him call Gordon a Pucker.
At least i think it sounded like Pucker
Oliver is cheeky faux cockney who is missing a bollock or two. An utter media whore twat who deserves to be served up as much c-dif etc. as possible, as per good old Heston Services did at the Fat Fuck in Bray.
Come on now he is going to show them all how to “Cook the Books”
Gordon can show him a thing or three there
Genius.
As the Pogues once said, we have been
“Spat on and shat on and raped and abused!!!”
by the E.U. and our politicians.
Game Over
Revolution Now Please
ummm why the French National Anthem?
EU’s got its own, written by a wellknown German!
All a little too flippant, JO – and not as viral as Mr Hannan (1.7 million!)
The French national anthem is most appropriate as the Frogs have always been the main beneficiaries, at everyone elses expense, of CAP right from the get go.
It has enabled the Frogs to avoid addressing the modernisation of their home agriculture and to continue maintaining artificially high food prices from domestic producers.
CAP is another facet of trade protectionism as practised by the EUSSR, which in reality only pays lip service to real free trade.
Sorry Jabba I live among the farming “Frogs”. Their food is produced and processed locally in hundreds of regions each of which proudly identifies with its own “terroir” in an overall food culture that is an awesome, and basic part of community and national life. You struggle to find fruit from Spain never mind Nicaragua. If CAP was designed to preserve this, long live CAP!
(and before you wade in, of course I am well aware of the paradigm cases of abuse that have dogged CAP for decades. But the fact is the French live to eat, good food is celebrated, the lifestyle is infinitely more satisfying than that now being quantatively eased unto oblivion by the deepfried battered Mars Bar).
You validate what I wrote. The Frogs run a CAP funded closed shop internally…
Instead of criticising the summit, we as a nation should be plotting ho we can it to form mass demonstrations in London and grind the country to a halt – and keep it that way until Labour surrenders and allows an election.
Fuck the EU, and fuck NuLabour. Goddamn hoons!
I thought that was Mr Oliver for a second! Great way to bring such a hideously dry issue to life. Could do without the music at the end though.
I once new a research assistant who worked on one of his shows and despite the fact he comes across a nice bloke in front of the camera he is just as much a C _ _ T as any politician.
I don’t like his rubbery mouth or his assumed Mockney accent. Hoon.
I received a call the other day from one of the state agri-agencies here in Tuscany telling me my single farm payment was ready for collection, and could I get my lazy tail down to their office – but not to collect the handful of used Euros, but to pay them – them, note, € 45 for the privilege of receiving the hopefully money at some point. What a pointless money-go-round job creation wheeze.
I must tell my Nigerian friend about this
Indeed Sir Reg, that point had not occurred to me; and now you mention it the so-called ” agri-office” I paid over my € 45 was in fact a white 1984 Merceded 250D with the engine running and a gentleman of disticly African appearance at the wheel – do you think have I gounds for concern?
No, but the owner of the liberated Mercedes definitely does
The EU has always been a recipe for disaster. And with bullshit as the main ingredient it’s going to make us all puke one way or another.
Talking about bullshit, is there any way we can harness, and convert to useful energy, the steam emanating off the G20istas and those stupid environmentalists?
Its absolute rubbish aimed at people who never go shopping for vegetables. The UK government has signed trade agreements with evil regimes as a result of which its years since I’ve seen any French fruit and veg in the UK. In fact we rarely get UK food in UK shops. We occasionally get Spanish tomatoes and peppers, rarely stuff from Italy, nothing from Germany or Portugal or Greece. 90% of fruit and veg grown in the illegally occupied areas of Israel ends up in the UK. We also import from South America, Africa, the middle and far east.
I’m more than willing to subsidise French, Spanish and Italian farmers so that I can go to mainland Europe and eat gorgeous fruit and veg a few times a year. I loathe the Uk government’s hatred of Uk and European farmers that means we have to import parsley and potatoes from Israel and fruit from Argentina.
hahha price rules. Beef in Sainsburys is British though
I awlays eat food from Israel, Africa, China and all those EXTRA FOOD MILE countries. Lovely! So f-orff D Dan Esq.
Absolutely!
Why are our supermarkets FULL of fruit and veg from places like Kenya? When I do visit France/Spain/Germany the quality and price of their locally produced food is astonishing. I have no objection to helping to pay for that, I strongly object to the rip-off, eco-cide food imported from the the third world and helps to continue their serfdom.
I get a great box of veg from Devon every week, they get some of their produce from Spain and Italy (by road not air).
Why can’t we get some of the advantages of CAP here? Like nice fruit and veg from Europe?
Jamie Oliver is a Hoon!
Jaimie Oliver has a tongue that would shame A downs Syndrome type.
I bet his wife is fucking delighted.
It looks like a pound of liver.
A fancy dinner for the ruling elite who have taken us into this mess is not going to go down well with the hoi poloi. Ladies like wot I am tend to get their gussets in moist tangle when we feel that we are being right royaly taken by the tradesmans entrance. If we have the odd riot during the G20 what right has Jackie (it was me husband gov) Smith to tell anyone how to behave when she and Hunny are fiddling hoons!
Breaking News
TalkSport Radio claiming that Jacqui Smith personally watched the pay-per-view porn films.
If that’s true then her career is over.
Scene: An MPs detached residence in Redditch, a couple eagerly viewing a subscribed film from Virgin Media, sounds of fevered undressing break the hesitant calm, further sounds of slapping flesh and groans break the hum of the tv set.
Jacqui: “T’in me”
Richard: Please call me Richard, darling”
Jacqui: “Don’t call me Alistair”
She’s diligently going through her diaries (office, dosshouse and “home”) right now to ensure she can prove she was elsewhere. Police logs!
Police logs will confirm she was in Redditch on 6 April when one of the porn films was viewed. You’ll read it in a tabloid later this week.
She doesn’t live in Redditch, so how can that be possible? Unless… gosh! Perhaps her London box room isn’t really her main residence? Heck!
Personally I hate them for forcing me to sell my sheep pelts to the Wool Marketing Board. No one else. For a worthless price set by them since the market was flooded by Russia and the old Eastern bloc.
How about that?
My gardener was a from a farming generation of 300yrs. He packed it in when 80% of his income (fuck all squared £7k a year) was subsidy.
20 yrs ago it was 80% sales.
I worked for the government agency that pays the subsidies out and everday they fucked these up – some people were paid 10x what they were due and we only found out when they rang us! FFS.
And others committed suicide because they couldn’t feed their stock because the paperwork was a crock of shit.
In one year they sent farmers 999 pages of how to fill in their forms – yes that’s right 999 pages of instructions because the system is a bureaucratic wank-fest.
Bleat over.
Farm subsidies are transparent, you can see them farm by farm, farmer by farmer on some website.
some of them get a whole lot of cash!
Tra laa!
Didn’t that hooning cow Margaret Becket have all four hooves in the middle of that mess?
Is it true that Derek Draper is bring out his own premium Vodka brand?
Its going to be a fancy window liqour
Class Sir Beast. Have a wank with my taxes.
Ba da boom!
Pukka!
That is not a bad lookalike of the pug-faced insufferably priggish oaf.
JUST ON SKY…… THE MP BASTARDS ARE GETTING A 2.33% PAY RISE ON APRIL 1ST!!! UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!!
I’d pay them double if they’d all just sit at home watching gay porn, wanking like caged chimps and do nothing else. At least they wouldn’t be fucking anything up. Apart from their eyesight.
Quite right to describe the CAP as a complete mess, but somewhat daft to suggest that with one single swipe of the pen getting rid of it will solve both the EU’s and 3rd worlds food problems, both short and long term. Watching your savings collapse in value is one thing, starving to death is a lot worse.
The pompus and vain Vaz is on PM – Radio 4, supporting Jackie Smith. No stranger to sleaze himself.
The Oily Knave said “I am not the chairman of her fan club”
Just thought, neither is Ricky Timney the chairman of her f*nny club!
Neither’s Mandy. He doesn’t think a lot about those videos.
I think a vazectomy is called for. No need for a new scalpel or anaesthetic.
Its seems that Jackboots husband had watched “Raw Meat 3″ on a Saturday night, now we all know that her main home is a box room in a south London slum but chances are that she visited her familiy at the weekend.
So maybe she was upstairs asleep as Mr Timney beat the meat , alone , with the door locked looking at gay porn at our expense.
Fucking Poof.
Nothing wrong with the music – the anthem of the country that more than any other takes the mickey from us all.
good news on the Jacqui Smith front – Jonah has given her his fool support.
LLook guys, think laterally. This an opportunity for the house ways and means committee to introduce an inhouse product for which there is obviously considerable demand in nulab ranks.
Ms Caroline Flints’ career in Brazilian speciality movies , means she could do a little number with the chappie who got his bits out for the News of the Screws. PPut it in a nice House of Commons wrapper & mr Jaquie and all the other nulab pervs could cancel all those embarassing subscriptions.
Excellent stuff Jamie, but Jacqui asks if she can have her wig back before her summons in front of the Standards Committee.
AH (C)
PS Dermott’s seen those two porn films as well, but says once you’ve seen one up to it, you’ve seen them all!
£400 a year…peanuts in the Gordon Brown era. The problem is UK hasn’t embraced the EU fully since it joined; so has ended up paying out and getting all the ngatives, but receiving nothing in return.
Sits back and looks at the new €22m village by-pass completed last year, and the €90m railway diversion under construction to get rid of the two level crossings in the village, which inconvenience us when the 12 trains a day come through
Will the real Conservative Party please stand up, please stand up?
u
That shit for brains Oliver and his pubs doing school dinners campaign ruined a local boozer I know.
The Kings Head in Theddlethorpe had a good rep till that c**nt showcased it.
After advising what and how to cook, including ingrediants for a local school menu oliver then swaned off.On his return visit which was televised oliver ripped the poor owner up for arsehole paper.
The fact there was no profit margin even after the poor guy had cut corners didn’t matter to that fat prick.
Also there was confusion as to VAT which Oliver and his crew never answered.
Would Jamie Oliver sweat over a stove weekday afternoons for fuck all?
Keith Vaz, that well known proponent of all things corrupt, claims on Radio 4 that the Select Committee should have taken his advice and hugely increased MPs pay last year. This would prevent the expenses weaze that we currently see. Why should we pay these bastards anymore just to cover their excess? What is it about CORRUPTION that they don’t understand? WE ARE THE EMPLOYERS and they are the employees – now fuck off and get on with the job!
Election? We need a CIVIL WAR!!!
Fucking to right or at least a very British coup ……..”PM died in his sleep, long live the queen…….” I dont mean Liz II
Raw Meat 3? Surely Last Tango in Redditch! Anyhow, I for one am fed up to the back teeth of this government wasting money – £20m – on this useless summit when this is money that could be far better spent. I couldn’t care less who was cooking it. Why couldn’t they go to the F word – at least it wouldn’t cost them anything and I would be quite pleased to see Gordon’s namesake ram a few expletives up ‘em.
To really go viral we need someone to remake that infamous scene in Last Tango in Paris using Jacqui and Timney lookalikes. In the throes of anally-invasive passion at the hands of her husband-employee what would that scamming witch cry out? “Nothing to hide, nothing to fear”?
The end has to be fast approaching for the Westmonster scam. If it isn’t, then I will have to ….. cancel my subscription.
This is worth a visit.
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/philip_johnston/blog/2009/03/30/why_wont_ministers_use_government_houses_as_their_second_homes
Snarl, spit
the arrests have begun…..
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/mar/30/g20-protest-explosives-plot-arrests
we will not let you people protest, we are correct in everything we do even down the adult movie section!
I heartily concur Ms Spliff and a copy of ‘Brazilian Boygirls Go Big in Rio’ is winging its way to you as I write. I hope you and your partner enjoy this masterpiece of the genre.
Here 52, what are you doin’?
My missus doesn’t like this sort of thing, doesn’t like freebies unless authorised by the taxpayer and is doin a great job, thank you very much.
Can I watch it when she’s at work? Won’t tell.
Feel free.
(Sorry. That’s what caused all the trouble in the first place, wasn’t it? Really sorry. Y’know, sorry…)
Gordon Brown has an article in the Standard with an open comment thread :
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23668565-details/This+is+London%E2%80%99s+big+chance+to+lead+the+world+out+of+crisis/article.do
Does anyone have anything they would like to say to that nice Mr Brown ?
Proof that the Standard is now in the government’s pocket. Guido Wan Kenobe, you are our only hope.
Are you really logging our IP addresses?
Revolver, Scotch, Study:
Take the hint.
Raw Meat, Scotties, Studs – life in the Smith 2nd home, it would appear.
Snarl, spit
This thread is a dog’s dinner
Tra laa!
This thread is a dog’s dinner.
Tra laa!
I watch porn movies all the time…never did me any harm! I pay for them using Darling’s name.
How many hits in the UK?
Not that many you see.
Leave the NHS to us, it’ll soon be gone.
Why doesn’t ‘Tra laa! laa boom delee ay’ comment any more?
Tra laa!
Fuck Brown, fuck the government and fuck parliament.
They are not my representatives any more.
I wouldn’t want to meet the people they really represent…
Should have got “Heston Blumenthal” instead of “Jamie Oliver” – his “Ejaculating Pudding” is highly topical at the moment and will give plenty of chance for repartee around the dining table I’m sure!!!!
imdb tells me that Raw Meat, being one of the films expensed for, stars a certain Jenny Poos (an unfortunate name in a gay porn film if ever there was one) – but here’s the thing: could Jenny Poos be a soubriquet for the Jacqui herself, one asks?
I voted labour and thought they would do okay. This lot brings me to tears. I wouldn’t vote for any of them now. They’ve sold us all down the river. It breaks my heart
Darling get angry not tearful
I am pretty in pink and love Gordon Brown. He can do no wrong.
Mr Tuscan
On the subject of Poos
One dreads to think of the kind of material Mark Oaten got us to pay for.
“I was just getting on with the jobby”
He blamed his slapheadedness for his unusual dietary habits, what effect has your lack of hair had upon you?
As a man whose own head makes David Suchet’s look like a badly overgrown hedge, by your own measure the Beast is presumably a coprophiliac’s receptor coprophile…
“coprophiliac’s receptor coprophile”
Now there’s a concept.
We didn’t need EU Trade Deals 200yrs ago, if we didn’t want their goods, we didn’t buy them, and if we did, we did, seems a perfectly simple policy to me, best of all, it’s completely Free.
The EU is a fraud on the European Populace.
End of.
Jamie I think you are a twat but if you pissed in the PMs soup my estimation might go up a bit.
Apparentley the Chilean President has embarrassed McMoron by pointing out that their economy is OK because they have saved money during the boom years.
Not seen any reports about this on Al Beeb
Good video.
Of course, those of us with websites could publish it!
An EXCELLENT video.
Thank God organisations like the Taxpayers Alliance, and new pan-European party “Libertas” are not only highlighting the sheer lunacy that has become EU policy, but actively trying to revolutionise the EU for the better.
The problem with the current system is that anyone working for EU in the Commission or as an MEP are in their jobs to line their pockets, and take home their generous taxpayer funded pensions.
Finally there is a valid alternative to this breed of political party: one that believes in the EU as an institution, but not in its current state. with core values of accountability, transparency, and democracy, alongside streamlining and cutting costs. If you have not heard of them I suggest checking out http://www.libertas.eu and sign up to their mailing list to keep updated on their campaign and EU lunacy.
cameron-brown-clegg-jones support CAP and block african farmers competing
for World markets,who are the racists now?
vote UKIP june local// European elections .
hope the Irish vote NO ,although i hear Pro-”yes” camp plan 2 booklets for every Irish household.