"The Hitch" Meets Peter Hitchens

The Hitch has just called with news, he has met the object of his homage this morning outside the British Museum.

Having spotted his hero he, of course, asked him for an autograph.

The not-at-all-bonkers Hitchens produced a grubby biro from his pocket, apologised for not having a fountain pen and proceeded to sign, just as he reached the letter “H” the Hitch said “I think I owe you an apology”. He immediately stops and asks “Why?”

As the Hitch recounts

“I’m the one who called himself Peter Hitchens on the Guido blog.” His chin hits his chest, a look of righteous indignation spread across his face followed by the screwing up of the autograph and his saying “In that case you aren’t having my autograph.”

I proffered my apology saying that as soon as I realised not-at-all-bonkers Hitchens had been hurt by my homage, I stopped doing it, this apparently wasn’t enough for the committed Christian. A frank exchange of views was then exchanged. Despite having told him it had all been in good spirit, Hitchens replied “If you really believe that then you are an even bigger aperture than you look”. To which I then retorted with a sub-Wildean flourish “And you are even more of a pompous w****r than I ever imagined, and you have a fat arse, now f*** off!”

The Hitch reports that his not-at-all-bonkers namesake then did just that, affording him a fine view of the Hitchens posterior as he wandered off a broken man. The Hitch is a disappointed, autograph-less man this morning…

See also the infamous blog post Peter Hitchens Stalking The Hitch



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

GuidoFawkes Quote of the Day

Jean-Claude Juncker:

“We will never let the Greek people down. And we know the Greek people don’t want to let down the European Union.”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Watch: BBC3 Greatest Hits Watch: BBC3 Greatest Hits
LORD DEBEN’S CLIMATE ALARMISM LORD DEBEN’S CLIMATE ALARMISM
WATCH: Terror Training Exercise in London WATCH: Terror Training Exercise in London
Meet the Next Generation of Troughing MPs Meet the Next Generation of Troughing MPs
Boris on £275,000 at Telegraph Boris on £275,000 at Telegraph
Supercar Socialist Polly Toynbee Supercar Socialist Polly Toynbee

Read CPS Janner Statement in Full Read CPS Janner Statement in Full
UKIP Broke, Homeless UKIP Broke, Homeless
Doctors: Capitalism ‘Conflicts With Health and Public Interest’ Doctors: Capitalism ‘Conflicts With Health and Public Interest’
Gates: Capitalism Innovates to Save Planet Gates: Capitalism Innovates to Save Planet
Guido’s Column Guido’s Column
Awkward Ed Miliband Moments: Nick Clegg Edition Awkward Ed Miliband Moments: Nick Clegg Edition
Man Beheaded in France, Islamist Flag Found Man Beheaded in France, Islamist Flag Found
GREENPEACE DUPE SUPPORTERS INTO THINKING THEY OWNED HEATHROW PROTEST PLOT GREENPEACE DUPE SUPPORTERS INTO THINKING THEY OWNED HEATHROW PROTEST PLOT
Cameron’s Broken EU Promise Cameron’s Broken EU Promise
Suzanne and UKIP Make Up Suzanne and UKIP Make Up
Labour Establishment Stitch Up Corbyn Labour Establishment Stitch Up Corbyn
Burnham / Dr Eoin Spin Unravels Burnham / Dr Eoin Spin Unravels
Green Subsidy Queen Cries Over Cuts Green Subsidy Queen Cries Over Cuts