Thursday, January 4, 2007

Birds of a Feather

The Smith Institute, that non-political charitable think-tank which has nothing to do with Gordon Brown, is holding a seminar later this month on “economic opportunity”. Despite being currently under investigation (for the second time) by the Charity Commissioners over all-too-close links to Gordon Brown and allegations of blatant political activity, the event is being held at No. 11 Downing Street.

Guido has in the past suggested that the Sith is basically a platform for the greater glorification of Gordon, which allows him to rub shoulders with plutocrats and corporate CEO titans whilst simultaneously providing photo opportunities leading to donations.

True to form, the keynote speaker will be a CEO of a U.S. multi-national, Lewis Booth, the Chairman of Ford Europe. He will tell the iron chancellor how to “shape global policy for economic opportunity”.

Globally Ford lost $8.5 billion last year and has announced that it aims to close 12 plants and cut 40,000 jobs. Like the UK public sector it has massive “legacy costs” of pensions and lifetime healthcare, expensive deals with unions and ever-increasing debts.

Its share price has dived from $18 to a low of $6 just as Labour has recently polled the lowest since 1992. So he is obviously the best person to guide Gordon, they have so much in common…

Reid : Definitely, Maybe…

Ask Dave : Repeat

By a large margin the question WebCameron users most want answered by Dave this week is: who is paying for WebCameron? Before Christmas Dave gave a load of flannel about being all for transparency. He then avoided answering the question as to who is behind his mysterious millions. So this week the question has been posed again, who is ultimately and opaquely behind these mysterious offshore lenders? Arms dealers?

An honest democracy can’t have political parties funded by shadowy hidden manipulators. Voters are entitled to know who is financing the party they are considering voting for, they can then judge for themselves their motives and their influence on the party. That is not too much to ask of Dave, is it?

Slavemaster Wants to Increase Opressive Burden

To be enslaved is to be forced to labour without pay. What distinguishes slavery from mere voluntary work is the element of coercion. If you work unpaid for a third world educational charity, you are volunteering. If you are taxed to pay for the education of the third world under threat of jail for non-payment, you are enslaved.

So, ironically, Gordon’s plan is to commemorate the abolition of slavery by raising taxes, effectively forcing the salaried to slave unpaid on his plantation for a little longer. Slavemasters of old convinced themselves they were furthering the greater good by bringing Christianity to their slaves. Gordon taxes us for “the greater good” of the third world. Plus ça change, plus c’est pareil.

UPDATE : Theodore Dalrymple puts it well.

Mili-Xmas Child Abuse

Over at the Mili-Blog we learn that for Christmas he got “a pencil case for my godson made out of an old tyre – better than it sounds”. Hmmm.

Imagine the scene on Christmas day:

David Miliband “Here you go.”
Godson “Thanks Uncle David!”
DM “You’ll really like it, it is environmentally sound as well.”

[sound of enthusiastic tearing of recycled paper]

GS “A sodding pencil case made out of an old tyre? You tight, four-eyed twat.”

Bet the kid really did think that. Poor lad, probably bullied in the playground, mocked for bringing his pencils inside a bit of old tyre. What kind of godfather is Miliband?

Obviously no Nintendo Wii’s were bought for the tragically deprived kids of wonk families. Guido, coincidentally, got his godson a traditional handcrafted toy made from all natural materials – wood and rubber. The lad lives in Hampstead and so will probably be able to shoot carbon rocks at Miliband’s godson with his new catapault. Perfect.

New Year Resolutions

To focus more attention on the next generation of politicians; Miliband, Balls, Benn, Osborne, Cameron, Clegg, Laws, Davey and the other ones who’s names Guido can’t remember.

In an effort to halt the development of a second chin Guido has resolved not to drink before midday or after midnight and not at all Monday to Thursday*. Which means from noon till midnight, Friday to Sunday could be messy.

To say nothing more about Ros Taylor. Zippo.

*Apart from medicinal purposes and on the day charges are made for Loans for Lordships.


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